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Terrible Book Club
75 minutes | a day ago
Episode 99 - The Demon Pig: Book 2 in the Quadroped Series by Karen A. Brush
Today we read a book that was recommended to us on Twitter over a year ago by Twitter user @GeneCurl. The Demon Pig is a clever, fun fantasy novel full of delightful animal characters, but it narrowly misses the opportunity to be a truly great parody. If you're just looking for a spot of cheer with sharp jokes that pokes a bit of fun at the fantasy genre, though, get a copy for yourself! Content warnings: Just our usual barnyard language this time!
97 minutes | 15 days ago
Episode 98 - When TRUMPets Ring: The Battle - A True Story by Gregory Hetzer
Chris found When TRUMPets Ring: The Battle - A True Story by Gregory Hetzer out in the wild on the C-SPAM thread on the SomethingAwful forums. Yes, I have stairs in my house...do YOU have stairs? This book is the author's attempt at an autobiography meant to encourage the reader to embrace his pro-life, anti-abortion stance. No matter what your opinion on abortion, though, we can all come out from behind our partisan divides to agree that this book needs a serious editor to rewrite and restructure it entirely before it's ever going to change anyone's mind. Content Warning: In addition to our usual barnyard language, today we've got: abortion, domestic violence (brief mentions), death, gunshots, anti-Islamic rhetoric, patriarchal ideas, and suicide (brief mentions).
61 minutes | 22 days ago
Episode 97 - Ma, Can I Be A Feminist and Still Like Men? Lyrics from Life by Nicole Hollander
Happy U.S. Election Day! We all need some extra entertainment today, so we're airing this episode a week early. We read a book of feminist cartoons and learn that humor has shifted a lot since the late 1970s in America. Sadly, little else has shifted very much, though - like equal treatment under the law, healthcare, and the dominance of fossil fuels...which is a great reminder to vote today if you haven't already! Unrelated Good Children's Book Alert: Meeka Caldwell wrote A Friend Like Anian to represent black families and folks with down syndrome in children's literature. If you're looking to expand your young child's library or know someone who is, check it out!
86 minutes | a month ago
Episode 96 - Universal Harvester by John Darnielle (The Mountain Goats) *Patron’s Choice*
We read this book at the request of our Patron Will as part of his Patreon rewards. If you, too, would like to force us to read a book, head over to our Patreon and select the $10/month tier. On page 2 of Universal Harvester, you're already invested in the mystery: what's being spliced into the tapes at the local video rental store - snuff; child abuse; human trafficking? If you lived during the era of VHS rental, have ever liked a David Lynch creation, a Chuck Palahniuk book, or House of Leaves and ache for a story with emotional intelligence that's anything but predictable - John Darnielle has your number. Content warnings: Our usual barnyard language, plus: car accidents and suggested captivity/torture/murder.
71 minutes | a month ago
Episode 95 - Late Bloomer by Morgan Hawes *Patron's Choice*
Late Bloomer is a perfectly good gay billionaire erotic romance novel (if that's the sort of thing you're looking for). It even has realistic internal monologues and dialogue along with believable characters! However, it's written in the "a/b/o/omegaverse" parallel universe that Paris and Chris have a hard time understanding. Content Warnings: Our usual barnyard language, plus: graphic and unusual sexual content (specifically, alternate human/dog biology)
66 minutes | 2 months ago
Episode 94 - The Virus of Desire. The Life of Passion. A Coronavirus Covid-19 self-help erotic book by Niedomknięty Kredens *Patrons Choice*
We read this book at the request of our Patron Jakub as part of their Patreon rewards. If you, too, would like to force us to read a book, head over to our Patreon and select the $10/month tier. What if Covid-19 was a man - and you loved that man? Do neural networks produce bad books just like human authors? Content warnings: Our usual barnyard language, plus: Covid-19 and graphic sexual content.
78 minutes | 2 months ago
Episode 93 - The Tuttle Twins and the Fate of the Future by Connor Boyack (a retelling of Anatomy of the State by Murray Rothbard)
Come along with us, listeners, to the fabled land of The Dunks where all value is now held in gallons of iced coffee, and all inter-state sports travel requires the hiring of Mad Max militias. Published in 2018 and illustrated by Elijah Stanfield, The Tuttle Twins and the Fate of the Future encourages your children to ask, "Should we coerce others to get what we want?" Content warnings: Our usual barnyard language, plus: political discussion. It is impossible to discuss this book without also discussing politics, so please be aware of that and skip this one if you’re not interested in hearing about anything political!
128 minutes | 3 months ago
Episode 92 - Flashback by Dan Simmons *Patron's Choice*
We read Flashback this week at the request of our Patron J as part of their Patreon rewards. If you, too, would like to force us to read a book, head over to our Patreon and select either the $5 or $10/month tier. Our best approximation of Flashback is, "sci-fi noir alt-right doomsday fairy tale." You have been warned. Short-story mentioned around the 20-minute mark: Outside the KFC by Claudia Ward-de León Content warnings: Our usual barnyard language, plus: age and gender dynamics, drug use, racism (specifically, direct and frequent usage of several racial descriptors considered by most to be extremely offensive), sexual assault, violence, and weapons. It is impossible to discuss this book without also discussing politics, so please be aware of that and skip this one if you’re not interested in hearing about anything political.
111 minutes | 3 months ago
Episode 91 - The Little Stranger by Sarah Waters *Patron's Choice*
We read The Little Stranger this week at the request of our Patron Veronica as part of her Patreon rewards. If you, too, would like to force us to read a book, head over to our Patreon and select either the $5 or $10/month tier. If you're into authentic post-war 1940s England, British class struggles, big 'ol houses that are falling apart, and ghosts, we've got the book for you! However, if you are anything like Paris and Chris, you may not like this one. Content warnings: Our usual barnyard language, plus: classism, dog-on-child violence, euthanasia, ghosts, mental illness, racism, sexual assault, and suicide.
82 minutes | 4 months ago
Episode 90 - The Gateway of the Monster from Carnacki, the Ghost Finder by William Hope Hodgson *Special Guests D & Ken from Antiques Freaks*
Get your bingo cards ready! We've invited the Antiques Freaks over to our place again to read yet another story from Carnacki the Ghost Finder. This time, we tackle The Gateway of the Monster. Chris treats us to some expert scoring and sound effects while Paris insults the entirety of the British isles with her awful fake accent.
167 minutes | 4 months ago
Episode 89 - Blood of the Fold by Terry Goodkind (Sword of Truth Series Book #3) *Special Guest TJ Allen*
Paris and Chris return to the very horny Midlands with our woods guide, TJ! He helped us out when we read Stone of Tears, and he was so invaluable that we put a Rada-Han on him and forced him to guide us through Blood of the Fold, too. Although not strictly necessary, we recommend listening to the 2 other episodes we've done regarding the Sword of Truth series before starting this one: Episode 3 - Episode 03 - Wizard's First Rule (Sword of Truth Series Book #1) by Terry Goodkind Episode 22 - Stone of Tears by Terry Goodkind (Sword of Truth Series Book #2) *Special Guest TJ Allen* Our commentary on the first season of the ABC series adaptation of these books - the Legend of the Seeker - is is available on our Patreon if you need even more Sword of Truth content. Content Warnings: Our usual barnyard language, plus: ageism, body shaming, sex, sexual assault, torture, and generalized violence.
87 minutes | 5 months ago
Episode 88 - Emeralds of Oz: Life Lessons from Over the Rainbow by Peter Guzzardi
This week we discuss another book that Chris found out in the real world at a local book store: a self-help book that's based on the 1939 film The Wizard of Oz. If you've got difficult problems in life and choices to make, just think - What Would Dorothy Do? Content Warnings: Just our usual barnyard language and a brief mention of sexual assault.
125 minutes | 5 months ago
Episode 87 - Maradonia and the Law of Blood (Book 4 of the Maradonia Saga/Series) by Gloria Tesch *Patron's Choice*
Although not strictly necessary, we recommend listening to these 4 other episodes before starting this one in the following order: Episode 11 - Maradonia and the Seven Bridges Episode 62 - Maradonia and the Escape from the Underworld Episode 63 - Maradonia and the Gold of Ophir Episode 86 - The Secret of Moon Lake This book was chosen by our patron Dari as part of her Patreon reward. If you, too, would like to force us to read a book, head over to our Patreon and select either the $5 or $10/month tier. Our commentary on the Maradonia movie is available on our Patreon at those tiers as well if you need even more Maradonia content.
113 minutes | 6 months ago
Episode 86 - The Secret of Moon Lake by Sofia Nova (Gloria Tesch) *Patron’s Choice*
Today's book was read at the behest of our patron Ciaran. Thanks so much for supporting the show, Ciaran! Check out our Patreon here to get this and other rewards for yourself. Sofia Nova is the new identity of Gloria Tesch. Free from her father's direct influence, she has written a new book outside of the world of Maradonia (though with some noticeable carry-over, from mermaids to boys who just love fishing to the art work). While The Secret of Moon Lake isn't something we'd recommend in its current state, this book shows significant improvement over the Maradonia saga. With some re-writes and good editing, this could sit comfortably in the Goosebumps pantheon. Content Warning: In addition to our usual barnyard language, this episode contains a brief discussion of pedophilia as well as sirens and sounds of arrest at the very beginning.
97 minutes | 6 months ago
Episode 85 - The Woman You Marry by Mark A. Edwards *Patron's Choice*
Our patron Signe bought this book thinking it was written by an author she actually liked - Mark Edwards. Unfortunately, The Woman You Marry was written by Mark A. Edwards. We're pretty sure that Mark A. Edwards is not a human being but rather a poorly constructed AI who was fed books by the real author Mark Edwards and programmed to write a short story. Our Patron Signe chose this book as their once-per-year reward! Check out our Patreon here to get this and other rewards for yourself.
111 minutes | 6 months ago
Episode 84 - Still Life with Monkey by Katharine Weber
Chris's book scouting in the real world yielded today's book, which we didn't totally dislike! It may not be for us, but there's some good writing in here and great character portraits. That being said, it's another heavy episode today so please be prepared for the below content warnings before you embark on the journey of Episode 84. Content warnings: Today we’ve got our usual barnyard language, plus: potentially derogatory terms for people with paraplegia, car accidents, sex, paralysis, pregnancy, infidelity, depression, suicide, assault, and bestiality.
83 minutes | 7 months ago
Episode 83 - The Horse of the Invisible from Carnacki, the Ghost Finder by William Hope Hodgson *Special Guests D & Ken from Antiques Freaks*
Our favorite Antiques Freaks, D & Ken, are back! In ghost form! We decide that space IS ghosts, have a ghost horse gobble-neighing contest, and try to figure out how the hell this short story from 1910 was ever considered a pre-cursor to Lovecraft.
55 minutes | 7 months ago
Episode 82 - Bitchcraft: Simple Spells for Everyday Annoyances and Sweet Revenge by Kerry Colburn
Get your candles and bad couplets ready - we're goin' Bitchcraftin'! You can watch a video of us recording this on Twitch until 4/25/2020: https://www.twitch.tv/videos/590324686
63 minutes | 8 months ago
Episode 81 - Worst Ideas Ever: 42 Truly Terrible Decisions by Daniel B. Kline and Jason Tomaszewski *Patron's Choice*
We recorded this episode as a live stream on Twitch, so if you want to see AND hear us, you can check it out here: https://www.twitch.tv/terriblebookclub Our Patron Lynn chose this book as their once-per-year reward! Check out our Patreon here to get this and other rewards for yourself. Oops! Paris meant to say "denigration" of experts, not "degeneration"
96 minutes | 8 months ago
Episode 80 - Bear by Marian Engel
Listener Martin Ford recommended this to us and we had to read it because it seemed so absurd. How could a book like this win a literary award? A book about a librarian having sex with a bear can't possibly be good. ...but it was. This book was actually quite great, all things considered. Thanks again to Martin for the recommendation! Content Warnings: In addition to our usual barnyard language, we're talking about bestiality, emotional trauma, eroticism, sexism, and associated topics.
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