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We have finally taken the plunge and decided to start covering this franchise, because even though everyone and their siblings have analyzed this series, we haven’t done it yet, so here it goes. If you want to hear us talk about a movie in which Hitler battles against baby Jesus, the gross negligence of people in the wizarding world, and how J. K. is most probably trans like us, then strap on your headphones and settle in for this auditory treat!

Listen in this week to hear us try to coherently discuss a movie about your wacky, perhaps irredeemable grandpa, who won’t shut up about his past adventures that seem really cringe from a modern lens. He also keeps threatening to die if no one will pay attention to him, but you unfortunately really need his help to distract your problematic uncle that tries to take over every family gathering. That’s the general vibe of this incoherent and problematic film, but one that is whimsical and hopeful at the same time. We end up with feelings that are just as ambivalent as the messaging of this film is inconsistent! So please do join us for this listening journey!

Join us this week as we discuss this fun, fantastical romp about a family feud that feeds on the needs of marginalized Narnians, exploiting their desire for sovereignty and autonomy to fuel the neverending battle for control of Narnia. Also, there’s a magical cat that is the local god, but also maybe the god of Earth, but is almost certainly not a Jellicle cat, maybe.

This week we continue our new year tradition of covering a film of the Tolkein universe, and as it turns out, this movie also fits with our meta theme for the year (that we started with the Cats film) of films that have ruined lives. Long-time listeners will know that every good fantasy film is about class struggle, at least in part, and this one is no exception to the rule, except this time the class struggle was covered in real life! You’ll just have to tune in to hear us dish about the controversy surrounding this film, and the fashion trends of dwarven culture!

For our new year special this time around we decided to cover a film that has broken every human law and has us seeking the sweet, sweet release of the Heaviside Layer. That’s right, it’s Cats (2019). If you ever wondered what Jellicle cat means, or why one of them must be Chosen each year, then you’ve come to the wrong place, because we are just as clueless as you. But, if you do want to hear us break down the entire fabric of this narrative with our signature silly, serious style, then you’re in for a treat! (music obtained from freemusicarchive.com, and cat sounds from Zapsplat.com)

While this is something of a funny, anti-holiday-cheer choice for our show this season, it is oddly more representative than other comedies of its era, even while the humor is painfully outdated (we seriously took psychic damage from some scenes). The Santa lore is also incredibly unique, completely unlike anything else you have ever heard about, which we can pretty much guarantee. We were so inspired by this in fact, that we came up with a silly, serious mash-up between Santa and Elden Ring lore for our intro skit. Enjoy! (intro skit music by Dark Fantasy Studio)

We are covering a holiday classic this week, and after watching it this time around we realized this movie connects almost everything we watched into one universe through the Kingdom Hearts games! You have to be a gaming and Disney nerd to get it so hopefully we still have some of you along for the ride with us! We also realized that this movie is more about class struggle and a scathing indictment of billionaire CEO’s than we ever could see before.

To start off our holiday movie coverage we thought we would talk about a classic holiday movie about the horror of the suburbs. Turns out there were a lot of details we forgot about or overlooked before that jumped out at us this time and made us realize this movie is all about class struggle. There are both overt and subtle ways that this film shows the social struggles between cultures in small town America, all while a boy and his demon pal are just trying to get by. But there’s snow on the ground and explosions in the air to help us set the holiday mood off right. (music obtained from freemusicarchive.com)

We were so excited to share our thoughts about this film with you all, since we covered the first movie, Enchanted, on our show and we wrote a sequel for one of our Rewriting History movie pitch episodes (which you can find on our Patreon page). This seemingly heartfelt, whimsical family film has a lot about it that we found offensive or reprehensible, much of which would fly under the radar for many viewers. So we thought we would take this opportunity to share why this movie shouldn’t really make you laugh or cry, but should actually make you mad and want to scream at the screen. Enjoy!

We have a rare gem for you, our faithful listeners, in our discussion this week of the whimsical fantasy film about death, torture, and constant threat of bodily harm, The Secret of Nimh! And you may be surprised that a film from 1982 features a female protagonist, who is a single mother of four, and who shows her mettle not through violence, but through strength of will and courage of heart. But it probably passed because most of the characters are talking animals. Well, that’s why we love fantasy, and horror, because these are genres that allow creators to explore characters and themes outside of the norm, and get us to think a little harder about the way we construct our shared reality. Happy listening! (intro skit sounds and music from Zapsplat.com)

This week we cover a whimsical tale of a young girl, named Arrietty, going on her first “borrowing” mission with her father, and the sickly boy, named Shawn, who just will not leave her alone. Both Shawn and Arrietty struggle to find out how they belong in a will they won’t they scenario that may leave you feeling queasy, since she’s a tiny 6 inch tall teenage Borrower (basically like a mythological brownie) and he’s a twelve year old human boy who is about to undergo heart surgery. Why does he see a creature akin to a fairy without wings as a potential love interest you might ask? Well, you’ll just have to tune in to find out, dear listener! (And to hear what this movie has done to our brains.) (intro skit sounds and music from Zapsplat.com)

Your life so far has been mostly uneventful and you're wondering if you will die with any sense of real accomplishment when you think back on what you have done with your life. Your husband wants to leave you and your daughter wants nothing to do with you, and all you do is laundry and taxes. But then, a more confident and charismatic version of your husband from another universe tells you that you are the chosen one, and you are the only one who can stand against the ultimate evil intent on destroying the fabric of the multiverse. You figure out how to fight it, but everything starts to crumble when you realize another version of you created this monster. You know you’re in trouble when nothing has meaning for you anymore and all Joy is gone from your life, sucked into an Everything Bagel. Except, then you decide to just say “fuck it” and live in an okay universe and call it a win when you and your daughter can finally talk to each other without yelling for once. And then you record a podcast episode about your adventure… (intro skit sounds and music from Zapsplat.com)

To kick off the holiday season we have a movie about friendship and finding yourself that we have talked about and recorded for your listening pleasure, and to get you through all those cold days (...and even colder nights - ba-da-ba-dum!). And what better way to record a movie about friendship than with our good friend and patron Alisha! This movie had us all thinking who are the true monsters here? And we do our darndest to answer. We also delve into an interesting discussion about gender identity and expression, defunct toy corporations and toys that were revoked due to poor design choices, and What does all of this have to do with the movie Luca you ask? Well, listen in to find out! (intro skit sounds from Zapsplat.com)

So for our final dark fantasy film this Halloween season we thought we would take a break from all the scares and watch a nice, calming movie about a group of friends that decide to go on a safe, rejuvenating hiking trip in Sweden. Except it doesn’t quite work out like that for them does it? First of all, they are sans Robert because Luke just doesn’t know when to quit partying, and then Dom goes and lets his knee explode while they’re setting off on the trail from Robert’s memorial site. Then Phil starts worshiping a cryptid, and Hutch lets his guard down for one minute and gets himself turned into a tree decoration. Seems like this group just doesn’t know how to just vibe and have a good time. But maybe it just couldn’t be helped because they didn’t know to look out for the big chungus in the woods. Have you ever found yourself wondering what it would be like to get turned into beef jerky? Or if you are curious at all about what is tormenting each of the friends, then saddle up and listen in to get our take on this night out with da bois that goes horribly wrong (or incredibly right). (intro skit sounds from Zapsplat.com)

This dark fantasy was an instant classic for us, and we wanted to share our take with all of you, our listeners. Are there really witches out in the woods, or is the family losing their grip on reality due to some moldy corn? Was the plantation community a bunch of prejudiced assholes, or is the father, William, a cringe extremist? We ponder these questions and more here, on this episode, for your listening pleasure. Would you like to sign your name in the book, dear listener? Don’t you want to live deliciously? (intro skit sounds from Zapsplat.com)

Before you embark upon the task of solving the lament configuration you must search your soul and ask yourself, are you truly committed to the exploration of sensation in all its forms, or do you merely seek pleasure? Because when the Cenobites come a-calling you don’t want to be left with your pants down, so to speak. But you gotta give it to them, the Cenobites love their job, because for them it’s really a calling, you know? It seems like a pretty sweet gig too, because they ensure that they never lose. But Cassidy asks the really big question in this episode: Why doesn’t anyone want to join the Cenobites, and just like, vibe with them? (intro skit sounds from Zapsplat.com)

This week for Scares and Satire we cover an epic dark fantasy animated movie about otherworldly power, class struggle, and interesting fantasy cultures, like swamp cults, bird clans, incel librarians, and ghoulishly underfed peasants ruled by whining despots. Which type of power comes out looking bast in this film: the patriarchal figures that hoard wealth and power for their own gains, or the matriarchal ones that have the people’s best interests at heart and share their knowledge for everyone’s benefit? Listen in and decide for yourself! (intro skit sounds from Zapsplat.com)

We kick off the much beloved creepy season with The Last Witch Hunter, which is one of our favorite spooky fantasy movies, so we are happy to finally cover this witchy modern classic! Not only is it a great murder mystery with witches and their hunters (like people who hunt them, not people who hunt for them), but it also features a great, cheesy apocalypse averting ending, which is way overblown, but we are here for all of it! So is the last witch hunter, Kaulder, a fascist cop, a righteous savior, or a suave detective? Well, we figure it all depends on the way you design your D&D character, right? (Because Vin Diesel is a D&D nerd, like us.) (intro skit sounds from Zapsplat.com, and music from audiohero.com)

Our patrons chose a fantasy classic from the 80’s, by the name of “She,” for our anniversary month that was as confusing to follow as a Werner Herzog cinematic tangent. This film is chock full of supernatural beings, who all band together in different clicks that the main characters have to fight through. Alas, there are still Nazis in the apocalypse too, those darned things are just so hard to get rid of. But maybe this movie is more prescient than we gave it credit for since the primary antagonists are Nazis of the American variety, so go figure. Apparently this movie has more going on than we initially gave it credit for too, since we stumbled our way into an interpretation that made us realize this movie is accidentally brilliant. Listen in to figure out how! (intro skit sounds obtained from Zapsplat.com)

Our discussion on the second half of Castlevania season two is here! Jamie shares his expert knowledge about the Castlevania game series much to Cassidy’s chagrin, but he is indefatigable in his resolve to educate the masses about his favorite games of all time. But then Cassidy asks the important question on everyone’s minds, why do we feel sorry for Dracula in the end?