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Endings—and beginnings. The many connotations of “Where are you from?” Model minority. Inside an outsider. Myth, liberation, and mental illness. Childhood vigilance -> lucid dreaming. “Intimate relationship with my inner life.” The tension between self-protection and connection. Collective creative work. Stargazing as a moral and spiritual compass. Integration + intention = good endings. Learning what you’re taught. Rites of passage. Sobriety. Rest -> renew. Stimulus & Response: https://stimulus-response.com Damon: https://www.sidestreetcoaching.com Jeremy: http://jeremynsmith.com Nirmala: https://nirmalanataraj.com Foreign Bodies: https://foreignbodies.net Marion Woodman, “Leaving My Father’s House”: https://www.shambhala.com/leaving-my-father-s-house.html George Smoot: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/George_Smoot

Jeremy offers a guided meditation called "Time." As discussed in Episode 11: Deep Time. Stimulus & Response: https://stimulus-response.com

“A leaflet blew into my hand.” Stress and snoring—solved! Hypnosis patient to practitioner. Hypnosis for PTSD, high blood pressure, and kidney failure. Positive relaxation. Hypnosis = guided meditation. The seasick surfer. “I like to think of it as going into the settings on your phone.” Performance + deep recovery. Hypnosis in politics and advertising. Hypnothoughts in Vegas. 97% of daily actions are not choices. Paving neural highways. How to try hypnosis. Stimulus & Response: https://stimulus-response.com Damon: https://www.sidestreetcoaching.com Jeremy: http://jeremynsmith.com Leanne Lawrence “Mind Manual Meditation & Hypnosis” YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCoxd6unhqrMA8GHfpP96UrQ “Psychology Today” on Hypnosis: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/hypnosis Hypnothoughts Conference: https://htlive.net John Moyer YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCplENmIrdL3QtCb7cO-Qp7w Michael Sealey YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/user/MichaelSealey

Relax to Sleep Guided Hypnosis by Dr. Leanne Lawrence, with vocal talent Laura Lockwood. ****DO NOT LISTEN where a driver or a person operating machinery might hear it.**** Leanne Lawrence “Mind Manual Meditation & Hypnosis” YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCoxd6unhqrMA8GHfpP96UrQ

Introduction to Relax to Sleep guided hypnosis by Dr. Leanne Lawrence, with vocal talent Laura Lockwood. Leanne Lawrence “Mind Manual Meditation & Hypnosis” YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCoxd6unhqrMA8GHfpP96UrQ

How to go (back) to sleep. The blame game -> acceptance. Avoiding the second arrow. Jack Kornfield: “Why is it that you feel you need my attention right now?” Skepticism. Jeremy’s blanket rule. The muse does not call 911. Mindfulness and the ball trick. Did you see the gorilla? Self-compassion and connection with other people. The upside of getting up. Sleep hygiene, hypnosis, and practice. Acceptance—and gratitude—all over again. Stimulus & Response: https://stimulus-response.com Damon: https://www.sidestreetcoaching.com Jeremy: http://jeremynsmith.com Tara Brach, “Radical Acceptance”: https://bookshop.org/books/radical-acceptance-embracing-your-life-with-the-heart-of-a-buddha/9780553380996 Jack Kornfield: https://jackkornfield.com Jeremy’s blanket rule: “I don’t believe anything I think between 8 p.m. and 6 a.m.” The ball trick: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cups_and_balls The invisible gorilla: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vJG698U2Mvo “Healthy Sleep Habits”: http://sleepeducation.org/essentials-in-sleep/healthy-sleep-habits Michael Sealey hypnosis tracks: https://www.youtube.com/user/MichaelSealey

The grumpy father of positive psychology. Positive emotions. Expand the neutral space. Re-thinking “How are you?” Triple-level engagement. Relationships and asking questions. Connective silence. Finding meaning and meaning finding you. Wall of wins. Get in the dirt. Stimulus & Response: https://stimulus-response.com Damon: https://www.sidestreetcoaching.com Jeremy: http://jeremynsmith.com PERMA: Positive emotions • Engagement • Relationships • Meaning • Accomplishments Dr. Martin Seligman: https://ppc.sas.upenn.edu/people/martin-ep-seligman PERMA: https://positivepsychology.com/perma-model/ Jeremy’s book on community farms and gardens: https://bookshop.org/books/the-urban-garden-how-one-community-turned-idle-land-into-a-garden-city-and-how-you-can-too/9781629143996

The energy body. Ignorant, skeptical, and interested. Reiki. Chakras. Hands. Playing the air accordion. Feeling your body from the inside out. Qigong. Cleaning the energy. Sensory check-in. Force, flow, and fire. Interoception. Verbal -> visceral. Half hour of yoga nidra = 4 hours of deep sleep. “How good can I let myself feel?” Go low—what’s really happening? Fluid + motion = flow. The energy it takes to hold down energy. New Orleans marching band. Stimulus & Response: https://stimulus-response.com Damon: https://www.sidestreetcoaching.com Jeremy: http://jeremynsmith.com “What is Energy Work?”: https://www.wisegeek.com/what-is-energy-work.htm Damon’s brother-in-law on reiki: http://danielsteven.org/reiki-in-san-francisco/ Chakra: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chakra “Qigong Full 20-Minute Daily Routine”: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cwlvTcWR3Gs Yoga Nidra guided meditation exercise: https://youtu.be/KJyES0Wi-fc “NEW ORLEANS: KINFOLK BRASS BAND - Street Parade”: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HqKgFBWdLLQ

Damon’s teen tennis stardom. Breakdown: “This wave of sheer terror went through my body.” Embarrassment and shame -> empathy. The yips. Breaking your nose walking across a room. Negative self-talk -> welcoming the shadow self -> finding beauty in the weeds. Fear of failure—and fear of success. Pains of change. Point the camera outward & “hide self view” happiness hack. Teammates. Behavior > thought. “My strength is my weakness.” Yeah! Stimulus & Response: https://stimulus-response.com Damon: https://www.sidestreetcoaching.com Jeremy: http://jeremynsmith.com The yips: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Yips Post-traumatic growth: https://www.scienceofpeople.com/post-traumatic-growth/ “Tired of Seeing Your Own Face on Zoom? Hide It.”: https://slate.com/technology/2020/04/how-to-hide-face-zoom.html Damon: “If I could go back to my 17-year-old self and give them any piece of advice during the horror of all that, it would have been, ‘Become obsessed with helping all of your teammates out. Get out of your own self and turn out and help somebody else.’” Ryan Holiday, “The Obstacle is the Way”: https://bookshop.org/books/the-obstacle-is-the-way-the-timeless-art-of-turning-trials-into-triumph/9781591846352 “Weakness!” (Jeremy and his daughter discuss why weakness can be a strength): https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/you-must-know-everything/id1506798319?i=1000491311610 & https://open.spotify.com/episode/2QZS80EZ2iahO5xHq0VXmp The Flaming Lips, “The Yeah Yeah Yeah Song”: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kjrUOlK2714 & https://open.spotify.com/track/2mlIzqDE7RaMaMx1UPdsXL

Building “base values” from scratch. “I treat everybody as they are as a soul and not categorized into something.” Two equations for solo travel: 1. Good will + good conscience > language barrier; 2. Adaptation = authentic learning - judgment. Traveler spirit in daily life. Happiness = being grateful for the simple things + having theories and running experiments. Finding excitement and creativity during COVID. Everyone has a choice, no matter what. “Hidden”/“hinting” coaching & “coaching from behind.” The more beautiful choice. Stimulus & Response: https://stimulus-response.com Damon: https://www.sidestreetcoaching.com Jeremy: http://jeremynsmith.com "Takako Hoshi On Coaching One of the Best Teams in the World," Gymclimber.com: https://www.gymclimber.com/takako-hoshi-on-coaching-one-of-the-best-teams-in-the-world/ Why Japanese Climbers are so Incredible: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9g8lKx2DfYY Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi: The Pursuit of Happiness (https://www.pursuit-of-happiness.org/history-of-happiness/mihaly-csikszentmihalyi/): “The best moments in our lives are not the passive, receptive, relaxing times.… The best moments usually occur if a person’s body or mind is stretched to its limits in a voluntary effort to accomplish something difficult and worthwhile.” Takako: “If you choose to look at how lucky we are, we’ll be centered. And if you are centered, and if you value yourself without judgement, without fear, then you can create and provide for the greater good. And if you're appreciative, if you feel grateful, and give this to the world, the world will give back to you. And if we loop like that, I think it’s enough and we are enough.”

“The game.” What is the environment I’ve been transported into? Scenarios and scoring: toothbrushing, homework help, a walk in the park. “The mind is always rambling on about experiences, but it cannot deliver an experience.” The interpreter vs. embodied awareness. Intuition -> intention. “How can I maximize my physical comfort?” Conversation dropdown list. Passivity vs. presence: play or be played. “When you die in the game, you die in real life.” You can do things—but you can only do one thing at a time. Awareness > outcome. Handicaps. Letting in experience also means letting in consequences and emotions. Game on. Stimulus & Response: https://stimulus-response.com Damon: https://www.sidestreetcoaching.com Jeremy: http://jeremynsmith.com Simulation theory: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Simulation_hypothesis Role-playing game: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Role-playing_game “The VR headset that could take virtual reality mainstream”: https://www.dailymaverick.co.za/article/2020-10-14-the-vr-headset-that-could-take-virtual-reality-mainstream/ Quote attributed to Viktor Frankl: “Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.” (Details: https://quoteinvestigator.com/2018/02/18/response/)

Being wrong—including about yourself. Saboteurs. The ouch underneath the ouch. “It’s not that people don’t tell each other the truth. They don’t tell *enough* of the truth.” Algorithms vs. And-ing. Reconciliation vs. coexistence. Exposure therapy. I->You->A Person. Media fast. Scope of action. "How can I be nice to myself in this moment?" Stimulus & Response: https://stimulus-response.com Damon: https://www.sidestreetcoaching.com Jeremy: http://jeremynsmith.com Kathryn Schultz, “Being Wrong”: https://bookshop.org/books/being-wrong-adventures-in-the-margin-of-error/9780061176050 & “On Being Wrong” TED talk: https://www.ted.com/talks/kathryn_schulz_on_being_wrong Saboteurs assessment: https://www.positiveintelligence.com/assessments/ Pareto Principle: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pareto_principle Person Weekly: https://twitter.com/personweekly

Job stress vs. combat stress. Experiencing thoughts. PTSD brain. Trauma -> Enlightenment. Coping mechanisms as self-attack. “Stress creates amnesia.” Ice cream sandwich in the sauna. Love everyone practice. Flipping the mirror. “What is the one thing I could do…that I would actually do?” Doing your emotional laundry. Abiding and non-abiding enlightenment. Stimulus & Response: https://stimulus-response.com Jeremy: http://jeremynsmith.com Matt Gangloff: matt.gangloff@gmail.com Eckhart Tolle quote, from “The Power of Now”: “‘I cannot live with myself any longer.’ This was the thought that kept repeating itself in my mind. Then suddenly I became aware of what a peculiar thought it was. ‘Am I one or two? If I cannot live with myself, there must be two of me: the ‘I’ and the ‘self’ that ‘I’ cannot live with.’ ‘Maybe,’ I thought, ‘only one of them is real.’” "Love everybody and tell the truth": https://jivamuktiyoga.com/fotm/love-everybody-and-tell-truth/ Ram Dass: https://www.ramdass.org

Two dimensions of existence: thinking (mind/past and future) and sensory (body/present). Punishing fantasies and paradisiacal reality. The jackhammer test. A maze vs. amaze. Jeremy’s float tank experience. The third dimension: being (flame/timeless). Activation. Stimulus & Response: https://stimulus-response.com Damon: https://www.sidestreetcoaching.com Jeremy: http://jeremynsmith.com “Wandering Mind is Not a Happy Mind” (Harvard study): https://news.harvard.edu/gazette/story/2010/11/wandering-mind-not-a-happy-mind/ “Everything You Need to Know about Sensory Deprivation Tank Therapy”: https://www.healthline.com/health/sensory-deprivation-tank “My Stroke of Insight” by Jill Bolte Taylor: https://bookshop.org/books/my-stroke-of-insight-a-brain-scientist-s-personal-journey/9780452295544

Jeremy’s “Mad Men” grandmother. The age you’re stuck in forever. Self-aware > high-flying. Wounded child at the wheel. “I thought you said he was never going to live with us.” Recreating the trauma as skill. A shocking suicide. Going to the clipboard. Talking to your inner 10-year-old. Listening to your inner 90-year-old. The next generation. “You have inherent value and worth because you are a human being and alive.” Becoming integrated. Cut-outs. Inner archeology. Stimulus & Response: https://stimulus-response.com Damon: https://www.sidestreetcoaching.com Jeremy: http://jeremynsmith.com Jeremy’s grandmother: https://www.nytimes.com/2009/09/09/nyregion/09schur.html FIRO theory (fundamental interpersonal relations orientation): https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fundamental_interpersonal_relations_orientation & https://www.thehumanelement.com/firo-theory/ “Finding and Getting to Know Your Inner Child”: https://www.healthline.com/health/inner-child

Shawn's (85% accurate) bio: police sketch artist, Industrial Light and Magic creature designer, professional pumpkin carver; Harvard classical music education, metal bands, deep listening. Day job: fake body parts. Synesthesia. Sound healing. Deep listening. Sympathetic resonance. Sound meditation. Sound bath. “Thin Places.” Open aperture vs. the leaf blower. Harmonic series. Hum buzz > coffee, chocolate, Twitter, or Facebook. Zygomatic bone. Damon: https://www.sidestreetcoaching.com Jeremy: http://jeremynsmith.com Shawn Feeney: http://shawnfeeney.com & https://www.instagram.com/shawn_feeney/ Shawn’s BFF project: http://www.shawnfeeney.com/projects/bff/ Shawn’s fruit and vegetable art: https://modernfarmer.com/2014/10/next-level-fruit-veggie-sculptures/ Pauline Oliveros TedX talk, “The difference between hearing and listening”: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_QHfOuRrJB8 Balinese keckack performance: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ViKT5gPoZW8 Music teacher’s quote (via classical Indian musician Gita Sarabhai): “The purpose of music is to sober and quiet the mind, thus making it susceptible to divine influences.” John Cage's 4'33": https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JTEFKFiXSx4 Shawn Feeney, “Thin Places”: https://shawnfeeney.bandcamp.com/album/thin-places

What’s a mantra? “Your will be done, Spirit, not mine. In me and through me, show me what I need to do this day.” There is no tree that is doing it wrong. “Nothing really matters. There is only now. That’s a thought.” Worry = 95% as bad as disaster…for years. Intro to gathas: breathing in, breathing out. Power > speed. Nervous system like a metronome. You can be nervous and perform great at the same time. Splitting the screen. The witness. Tweak your training. Flow triggers. Focus (as muscle) -> curiosity -> enjoyment. Find your own mantra. Stimulus & Response: https://stimulus-response.com Verses (Gathas) for Mindfulness Practices: http://mindfulnessacademy.org/en/mindfulness-essentials/79-teachings/52-verses-gathas-for-mindfulness-practices Default Mode Network: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/default-mode-network Dr. Andrew Huberman: https://www.instagram.com/hubermanlab/ Positive Psychology: 11 Activities and Exercises to Induce a Flow State https://positivepsychology.com/flow-activities/ “The Science Behind Finding Your Mantra and How to Practice It Daily”: https://www.yogajournal.com/yoga-101/mantras-101-the-science-behind-finding-your-mantra-and-how-to-practice-it

Pandemic storytelling. Macro and micro storylines. Metamotivations. Three questions. Break-up and rebirth. Hero’s journey. How to assess reality. Daydreaming the new story. Self-compassion. The asshole in my head. Damon’s doppelgänger. Safety nets and stoicism. Happiness = reality - expectations. Self-unemployed. The new story, the open-ended story, the story of adventure. Pick your moral first. The most important part of any story. Improv. Damon: https://www.sidestreetcoaching.com Jeremy: http://jeremynsmith.com Matt Mullins/Black Rooster Productions: https://vimeo.com/mattmullins Scott Barry Kaufman, “Transcend,” on the hierarchy of needs: https://scottbarrykaufman.com/books/transcend/ Metamotivations: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Metamotivation Three questions: 1. What is the story I’m telling? 2. Is it true? 3. If so, is there another story I could be telling that’s also true? Hero’s journey: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hero%27s_journey William Upski Wimsatt quotes: “The hardest lesson I keep having to learn: there is no substitute for loving myself, respecting myself, and being true to myself. There are no shortcuts. You can’t use anything external to substitute for inner-love.” & “You are where you are for reasons, many outside your control. Your job is not to judge yourself. Your job is to be honest with yourself about where you are (wherever that is), to be gentle with yourself, and to daydream possible paths to get where you want to be.” William Upski Wimsatt, “Please Don't Bomb the Suburbs”: https://bookshop.org/books/please-don-t-bomb-the-suburbs-a-midterm-report-on-my-generation-and-the-future-of-our-super-movement/9781936070596 Dr. Kristin Neff on self-compassion: https://self-compassion.org & https://bookshop.org/books/self-compassion-the-proven-power-of-being-kind-to-yourself/9780061733529 Dan Harris, “10% Happier”: https://bookshop.org/books/10-happier-revised-edition-how-i-tamed-the-voice-in-my-head-reduced-stress-without-losing-my-edge-and-found-self-help-that-actually-works-a-tr/9780062917607 Stoicism: Marcus Aurelius: https://dailystoic.com/meditations-marcus-aurelius/ & Ryan Holiday: https://dailystoic.com/obstacle-is-the-way-summary

The writing prescription: 15 minutes a day, 4 days in a row. The erosion punch. MAPSIT (Make A Plan, See It Through). Writing groups. Give feedback -> learn to edit yourself. Routines to keep going despite self-judgment. Pomodoro technique & nervous system reset. Dopamine = on the right track. Researching, reporting, and journaling. “Submarining” vs. full-aperture. Silent meditation retreat experience. Catching the train to the present moment. Writing tips: 1. Want something; 2. Say it to your mom; 3. Do a really bad job & make it better. Damon: https://www.sidestreetcoaching.com Jeremy: http://jeremynsmith.com Matt Mullins/Black Rooster Productions: https://vimeo.com/mattmullins Writing Therapy: https://positivepsychology.com/writing-therapy/ Pomodoro Technique: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pomodoro_Technique & https://francescocirillo.com/pages/pomodoro-technique & https://pomofocus.io “How Dopamine Helps You Keep Going When Things Get Tough”: https://youtu.be/eJFfoSQcC0A “Measuring the impact of high quality instant feedback on learning”: http://insight.cumbria.ac.uk/id/eprint/2506/1/Nutbrown_MeasuringTheImpactOfHighQuality.pdf “9 Tips to Create a Truly Effective Peer Feedback Loop”: https://360learning.com/blog/tips-effective-peer-feedback-loop/

Philosophy. “Last week I was a Hindu, but this week I’m a Buddhist.” China, India, and Greece. Sutras and Shakespeare. Encountering the Dalai Lama. Life’s task: discover our true nature. Building the temple. Locking the world out. The shortest commute in the world. Three years, 150 yards apart. Our inherent luminous nature. Understanding->experience->engagement. Marlboro ad. A liberation movement for our minds. The moon and the stars. The etymology of obsession. Jeremy: http://jeremynsmith.com Lama David Curtis: http://www.tibetanlanguage.org/About_Us/davidcurtis.html Matt Mullins/Black Rooster Productions: https://vimeo.com/mattmullins Henry Bugbee: http://faculty.salisbury.edu/~jdhatley/BugbeeLife.htm D. T. Suzuki: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/D._T._Suzuki Kagyu Ling Monastic College in France: https://www.karmapa.org/centers/france/dhagpo-kagyu-ling/ David’s cloistered three-year retreat: http://www.tibetanlanguage.org/PDF/ThreeYear.pdf “Why do Buddhist monks sleep upright?”: http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/magazine/8112619.stm Tibetan Language Institute & Big Sky Mind: http://www.tibetanlanguage.org & http://www.bigskymindmontana.org