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Still Life With Simpsons
53 minutes | Jun 4, 2017
Who Shot Mr. Burns Parts 1 and 2 (S6E25 and S7E1) - Rank 11
Welcome to the official launch of season 3, in which our heroes race to finish this damned countdown of Simpsons episodes before the world comes to a tragic, climate change fueled end. Betsy Devoss wasn't the first to remind us that you need a gun to protect your children from bears. We learned in this episode that Abe Simpson warned us years ago about such bear attacks. We'll also get into who stole which ideas from who: There Will Be Blood, Upton Sinclair, or these episodes of the Simpsons? Also, outing ourselves right now as being wholly unqualified to be critiquing pop culture in the first place because none of us have seen or care about Twin Peaks enough to appreciate Lisa and Chief Wiggum's dream sequence reference. We also hope you'll spare us just a few minutes to dive into conspiracies surrounding and our mother's love for Kendrick Lamar's still new-ish record.
53 minutes | May 21, 2017
Rosebud (S5E4) - Rank 12
Here lies a time capsule of sorts of innocent laments from a simpler time... when there was hope of a world in which you could be proud to raise your children knowing that the president of your country hadn't openly bragged about committing sexual assault and would still get elected a few weeks later. Yeah. This was recorded around that time. When folks who talked about "red pilled cucks" were still a laughable fringe we could ignore. Weren't those the days? But the Simpsons, like a beloved teddy bear tossed aside in exchange for promises of happiness through riches, is the comforting reason why we're all still here. So with that in mind, sit back, relax, think about which author would you like to own the only nude painting of and enjoy a Ramones cameo.
44 minutes | Jul 21, 2016
22 Short Stories About Springfield (S7E21) - Rank 13
You can try not to make your podcast episodes about Pokemon Go right now... but your podcast is DEFINITELY going to end up being about Pokemon Go. So why resist? Does it matter that Steph hasn't played it yet? No! Does it matter that Josh is only Level 10? No. Does it matter that she watched the wrong episode and was ready to talk about the mystery of the death of Asa Phelps over the fact that Steamed Hams is more of an Albany expression? No! When we come back after long breaks we come back strong and nothing matters except making sure the world knows just how bad a service provider Cincinnati Bell is. You hear that Cincinnati Bell? You're on our Poo Poo Platter of the Week!
48 minutes | May 17, 2016
Treehouse of Horror V - (S6E6) - Rank 14
Holiday Grosums - (n.) - a seasonal affective disorder brought on by the act of being exposed to holiday programming (televised, printed, or otherwise) which is not currently in season. Today we explore the dangers of such exposure and who are the most likely jerks to purposefully cause such a disruption (Hint: it's usually dumb-dumb toddlers). In our case, it was caused mostly by poor scheduling. We bravely carry on to debate the validity of Simpsons Halloween specials (commonly known as the Treehouse of Horror series) as fan favorites. Personally we think there's only so many laughs you can squeeze out of hastily reframing classic films with America's most beloved cartoon family.
44 minutes | Apr 18, 2016
Itchy and Scratchy and Poochy - (S8E14) - Rank 15
We hope you all are ready to celebrate the release of The Force Awakens on DVD, Blu-Ray and Digital by getting serious about the theory of relativity in the Star Wars universe! We also reveal the pivotal turning point in which women suddenly matter in the Star Wars universe. But we promise, after that it's all Simpsons... Okay there might be a rundown of best first names for robot masters in Mega Man, with Josh showing some serious love shown for Hiro Geminiman. But THEN it's all about the shark jumping glory that is POOCHY and the poor, Harvard educated souls who are doomed to carry the awful burden of writing cartoon shows and bringing joy to millions of people all over the world.
39 minutes | Mar 29, 2016
Homer At TheBat - (S3E17) - Rank 16
We are talking SOFTBALL people. In celebration of Josh's 30th birthday, the awesome folks at The Overlook Lodge in Cincinnati, Ohio let us record a LIVE episode and man was it a good one. We learned about what is in store for Tinder users on the other side of 30. But that wasn't until we really hashed out some serious baseball talk in honor of Ken Griffey Jr's swollen head, the upcoming start of Fantasy Baseball League and of course Reds Opening Day. There's something for everyone though. We've got hot tips for all of you listeners that just can't seem to escape Radon poisoning in your home and as always, spoilers for Interstellar abound. Geez. This was such a good one! We're sorry we can't do them all live!
49 minutes | Mar 3, 2016
Radioactive Man - (S7E2) - Rank 17
In the wake of the Oscars and Grammys we rundown our review of awards season and how knowing so much about them makes us old. But that means we've got tons of pro tips to keep bullied youngsters out of trouble. Our secret to fitting in with the cool kids? If it brings you joy, just don't do it... especially if it involves seeking out satanic messages in your favorite episodes of Bewitched. There's also a pretty hot debate about the face value of Mario Bros. 3 in a world where video games are a currency stronger than the US dollar: The mind of a 10 year old. Other tips include surviving the FOMO of not getting the part of your favorite super hero's sidekick in a big budget movie like Batman Vs. Superman.
58 minutes | Feb 8, 2016
Itchy and Scratchy Land (S6E4) - Rank 18
Come children and gather nigh as we pray tell the tale of long lost wizard exchange student Jimmy Crush Throat. In West Philadelphia he was born and raised, but chasing tail at Hogwarts is how he spent most of his days. We'll also dig deep into Orlando theme park economics and their role in Walt Disney's crazy eugenics projects. But first we need to find out: What are New York's hottest baby names for 2016? Is your baby more of a Houston, Bowery or maybe even a Cronut? Find out in today's pod!
64 minutes | Jan 25, 2016
Radio Bart (S3E13) - Rank 19
We welcome another casual Simpsons fan, but still all around good dude, Coy to the show this week to discuss his feelings on the "kid stuck in a well mania" that was the early 90s. More importantly, every young parent needs to hear this episode to learn why it's so important to make sure your 10 year old has a BOMB ass birthday part, so they don't end up in jail wearing an eye patch for slinging meth a few years later. There's also a good bit on how to rank your child hood fears and the terror of facing them all at once. A tornado of raccoons anyone? So download this episode to your favorite DAT player and let the good times roll.
53 minutes | Jan 12, 2016
Lisa's Pony (S3E8) - Rank 20
Dust off your New Years Resolutions because we're getting bit of a late start on ours. Whether you want to do a one off dance routine for a school talent show or start your own branded form of currency, all ideas for self improvement are welcome with us! Unfortunately we accidentally ruined The Simpsons for ourselves in this episode as we realized that most of the family's problems could be solved by addressing Homer's crippling Alcoholism that goes completely ignored. Most importantly, your child wouldn't actually love owning a pony; she just loves the IDEA of owning a pony. There's so much poop to shovel...
57 minutes | Dec 10, 2015
And Maggie Makes Three (S6E12) - Rank 21
Were you worried we'd given up because we took an extra week off? DON'T FORGET! WE'RE HERE FOREVER! This is the Simpsons episode that makes you realize it's this reason you're over 30 and still terrified to have children. Perhaps you still want to try being a pin monkey at your local bowling alley or maybe you still dream of creating the next sentient, crime fighting vehicle. What do the hosts of our podcast still want to accomplish? Well, it seems we'd do a bottomless undershirt modeling gig if the price was right. If there's one thing we have figured out it's that all of the Pizza Persons out there who haven't quit their jobs to drive for Uber yet are totally blowing it.
55 minutes | Nov 20, 2015
Brother's Little Helper (S11E2) - Rank 22
Does it really matter at this point if Major League Baseball is spying on us anymore? Probably not since we willingly give up all of our personal info for the chance to see a picture of a high school acquaintance's baby roll onto it's stomach for the first time. But we do still drug the crap out of our preteens to get them to straighten up and fly right, which makes today's episode still pretty relevant! More importantly, we dish the details on how to get your own miniature horse, that wears tiny Jordans and can enter public buildings any time they want. We also revisit the difficulty of the first Zelda game and why it stinks to play Halo 5 if you're poor.
51 minutes | Nov 5, 2015
The Mansion Family (S11E12) - Rank 23
We're sorry to see the Mets go down in the series last weekend, but SO PUMPED for the start of Fantasy Honeymoon League Season! Tune in this week to learn the rules and get all the hot tips. Then sail on out to international waters with us where you'll get to see that worlds first Goat Decathlon. Just make sure you don't wear your shorts too short so your bean bags won't fall out. Plus, a lil' Halloween follow up where you'll find out if Pizza Rat or Lil' King Trash Mouth takes top honors for best costume!
64 minutes | Oct 23, 2015
Homer's Barber Shop Quartet (S5E1) - Rank 24
Welcome to Season 2.1 - Failure to Launch!! We got off to a rocky start this season as Josh got a case of Shingles that rendered him unable to speak for several weeks and stopped the show's production... BUT WE ARE BACK and chock full of theories about why Steph and Josh's dad hoards used tooth brushes (Hint: it has to do with apocalyptic currency) and the best undergraduate performance art pieces of all time. We also establish a public rallying outcry for Jasper to head up the Be Sharps while enjoying some delicious brownies next to George Harrison's corpse!
68 minutes | Sep 18, 2015
Lisa's Date With Density (S8E9) - Rank 25
Welcome to Season 2: Still Poddin'! Same sibling hosts (now with bonus husband/brother in law action!), same arguments about whether we should love or hate Milhouse and yeah... It's still almost as much about wizards as it is the Simpsons. Steph also opens up about her addiction to rescue cat window shopping and you'll learn the best terrible ways to say you're sorry.
62 minutes | Jul 3, 2015
Bart The Dare Devil (S2, E8 - Rank 26)
If this is the first time you've listened to our show, go listen to ANY other episode except this one. If you're a regular, feel free to skip this one... Seriously. Josh made a HUGE tiny mistake recording our first forray into a live episode and the audio quality is pretty rough. So why are we posting it? For posterity. I guess? This is a show about counting down a reaction to something... you can't really just redo an episode and if you cancel one you've got a gap in your countdown. So there ya go. But if you want to carry on then dive on in and find out what it's like to watch the whole world laugh as your family repeatedly gets devoured by Truck-asaurus. Did I mention this is our Season Finale? See you guys in September, with flawless audio edited by a well rested producer!
63 minutes | Jun 25, 2015
Two Bad Neighbors (S7, E13 - Rank 27)
Hop in the communal bathtub with us and enjoy our foray into the world of politics and US history. Just don't committ a zorch! We're sure you'll enjoy this special Father's Day episode in which photographer and member of one of Josh's bands The Slippery Lips, Jesse Fox as well as the rest of their "Brunching Crew" (of which he's been dubbed "The Dad") stopped by. There's plenty of gossip and gal palling around about all of the U.S. presidents we'd like to punch in the face, be spanked by and maybe even share a tub with. We also take another crack at figuring out just how old Grandpa Simpson really had to be to get spanked by Grover Cleveland. Most importantly, you can just call it queso... saying cheese is redundant and makes your entire establishment sound like a bunch of dummies people!
77 minutes | Jun 19, 2015
Burn's Heir (S5, E18 - Rank 28)
Friend of the show since the 90s, Gavin, swung by for this episode to provide some insight into the uses of the dustier and more useless tools of the internet such as Bing and Incognito Windows. Other topics of discussion include how to tour as a band with your dad and handling the sea of "Basics" that is the crowd at a Hozier show. We'll also explore the financial and scientific value of having a bottomless pit in your living room, but not before getting REAL deep into trying to find the balance between comedy being offensive vs. being so PC that it's no longer capable of being poignant. At the end of the day just try to have a good heart and keep making goofs with your buds! Anyway, enjoy it and we'll see you at our live show at Hangover Easy in Cincinnati on June 29th!
63 minutes | Jun 5, 2015
A Streetcar Named Marge (S4, E2 - Rank 29)
Thank you John Lovitz for your beautiful, cathartic skewering of community theater. It really couldn't haven been any other. Today you'll also hear how to make big bucks by starting a band with the intention of being a middle man for Hane's Cotton T-shirts. We'll also help you figure out if you're more of a Team Blanch or Team Stanley in this crazy world. Finally you'll find out how a fresh faced George R.R. Martin found a sea captain's hat which forever changed the tides of history... Oh, and guys, the whole "Duck Tales syncing up with the Single Ladies dance thing"? Yeah. Not some grand conspiracy theory. The world's just not that magical. Sorry!
65 minutes | May 22, 2015
Girly Edition (S9, E21 - Rank 30)
Yeay! It's another discussion on the internet about acknowledging white male privilege in our society. Aren't you guys stoked!? Kidding... I mean, we do touch on it, but mostly we talk about monkeys stealing donuts and dog doo on a stick. Seriously though, it's all about Mojo right? There's also a hearty lament to banging your heads into the ceilings of dirty basements for all the aging punks out there to feel nostalgic about and which flowers are the next hits in artisanal flavoring. We're also probably the first people that have been willing to call out the skinny white guys at Vice for desparately clinging to the spirit of Hunter S. Thompson to find their journalistic voice.
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