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122 minutes | 6 days ago
Iowa 2 with Andy Rowell
Here's a question for you folks, what does IOWA actually stand for? International orb whipping association? Is that what these people call Baseball? Sure those players do "whip" an "orb" around a "diamond," but is that what Iowa folk say about the national pastime? Someone should look into this worrying rumor. Anyways, notch an arrow, pull back with your funny bone, and hit a bullseye in honor of our latest visit to the Hawkeye State. We're joined by the local boy himself, Andy Rowell. He'll helps us haul our crunch berries via big rig and explore the world of midwest opera in this special visit to Iowa! (Since this recording, Stuart has viewed the TENET special features and was thoroughly pleased by the detail and filmcraft included therein.) Find Andy HERE. Find Tim HERE. Find Stuart HERE. Find Anthony HERE. Find Camden HERE.
91 minutes | 13 days ago
States On Screen - Sweet Home Alabama
This week is the inaugural episode of a new and weird format for the Statesmen. Don't be scared by a podcast concept where white guys talk about old movies! INSANE! REVOLUTIONARY! BRAVE! Jokes aside, we had a lot of fun with this new format, and we're affectionately calling it: States on Screen! (or S.O.S. for short.) In this episode we'll examine the 2002 romantic comedy Sweet Home Alabama, starring the perky chipmunk herself, Reese Witherspoon. Does this film do a good job at representing The Cotton State? Well it's about as casually racist as that official state nickname, so don't be surprised when we rip on this tone-deaf flick. Find Tim HERE. Find Stuart HERE. Find Anthony HERE. Find Camden HERE.
124 minutes | 20 days ago
Colorado 2 with Vinny Thomas
When you're at altitude, feet planted on the summit of a mighty fourteener, it's easy to slip right back into the Rocky Mountain State of mind. So light up a legal blunt and enjoy the fresh air, baby, because we're back in the mutha flippin' SEE-OH. Join us for an adventure through the Centennial State with Denver native, Vinny Thomas! He'll help us better understand Mile High culture, Patagonia white people, and we'll even discover the secret of the double golden domes! With a lead in that mysterious, how could you not listen? Find Vinny HERE. Find Tim HERE. Find Stuart HERE. Find Anthony HERE. Find Camden HERE.
136 minutes | a month ago
Texas 2 with Brad Pike
Everything's bigger in Texas. Even the podcasts! That's why this episode is longer than usual. And I guess that's also why all of our other episodes are also too damn long. Texas has somehow retroactively embiggened the length of this podcast for the last three years... yeah... that's what it is. This week we have the wonderful podcaster and comedian Brad Pike joining us on the show to rustle up some laughs in the Lone Star State. If you want to visually summarize this episode, just imagine Doctor Doom in a cowboy hat shoplifting from a derelict Blockbuster. Find Brad HERE. Find Tim HERE. Find Stuart HERE. Find Anthony HERE. Find Camden HERE.
125 minutes | a month ago
Indiana 3 with Shelby Jo Plummer
Over two thousand years ago a humble carpenter was savagely nailed to a cross and now, in 2021, we remember his sacrifice by rating our segments out of 30 pieces of silver! How many silver coins do we receive? As many as the cursed Judas? You'll have to listen to find out! ;) Oh boy, this is a crazy episode. And not just because of the heretical stuff about the silver! We dive deep into the Indiana kiddy pool with guest and Indy Local, Shelby Jo Plummer! Shelby helps us understand why Kokomo isn't as relaxing as it sounds, who the big bull in the building is, and what the kid from Phantom Menace is up to now! If that doesn't hook you, buzz-off dweeb! Find Shelby HERE. Find Tim HERE. Find Stuart HERE. Find Anthony HERE. Find Camden HERE.
101 minutes | a month ago
The State at Home Special with Zoe Agapinan
Tier 1? Tier 2? Well how about we tier you a new bum-hole from laughing too hard at this hilarious special episode?! (is this too crass? Maybe, but it's also crass to force service workers to attend their jobs indoors during a pandemic. So eat my little shorts, Lori Lightfoot.) This week we're joined by the FANTASTIC Chicago writer and comedian, Zoe Agapinan! We all missed out on our holiday travels but Zoe helps us live out our dreams by recreating state vibes right from our own homes. If it sounds kind of dumb, that's because it totally is, but there's a "Picture of Dorian Grey" reveal at the end of this episode that will undoubtedly become part of Statesmen history. Trust me, you don't want to miss this! Find Zoe HERE. Find Tim HERE. Find Stuart HERE. Find Anthony HERE. Find Camden HERE.
119 minutes | 2 months ago
Massachusetts 3 with Kelsey Judge Buckley
The state outline of Massachusetts sort of looks like a cartoon gun, which is good because you'll need all the firepower you can get to survive this THRILLING return to the state whose slogan declares, "By the sword we seek peace, but peace only under liberty." Now that's a threatening sentence to print on your 'Welcome to Massachusetts' signs. The actual state motto is originally written in Latin (a dead language,) which is fitting because The Statesmen have so much fun on this one we practically die of laughter! Joining us in the grave is Chicago comedian and Joan Cusack impersonator, Kelsey Judge Buckley! She helps us navigate evil pagan deities and grilled muffin tops on our third visit to the codfish state. (WARNING: We talk about Bughuul A LOT on this episode.) Find Kelsey HERE. Find Tim HERE. Find Stuart HERE. Find Anthony HERE. Find Camden HERE.
96 minutes | 2 months ago
South Dakota 2 with Sean Jordan
There are a handful of states that are divided into North and South. The Carolinas, The Dakotas, and even Virginia has a western half. To be honest, sometimes it can even feel like the nation itself is a little divided as well. Maybe it's time to fully unify as a country, coming together to announce that, "We all agree on one thing. Middling comedy podcasts are the indelible threads that make up the fabric of our modern society. Facts B." This week we're talking South Dakota with the son of Sioux Falls and co-host to the incredible podcast All Fantasy Everything, Sean Jordan! We lust over young muscles and debate replacing the heads of mount Rushmore with at least one retired NBA superstar. So just like Mrs. Fanning when she's on her way to pick up her daughter from an audition, Get to Dakota ASAP! Find Sean HERE. Find Tim HERE. Find Stuart HERE. Find Anthony HERE. Find Camden HERE.
117 minutes | 2 months ago
New York 2 with Ellory Smith
I know what you're thinking, "Isn't New York City kind of played out? The greatest city in the world? Yeah right! It's just rats, thin pizza, and the setting for You Don't Mess with the Zohan. Is there really more for me to learn?" YOU FOOLISH FOOL OF COURSE THERE IS! This week we're joined by Comedian and Robot Chicken writer Ellory Smith, who teaches us that New York isn't just a city! In fact. the empire state has some backwoods too! (not the blunt wraps. But to be honest, it probably has those as well.) Listen up if you like #Comedy, or if you have #NewYorkDreams, or if you want #AnswersAboutGovernorCuomosNipplePiercings Find Ellory HERE. Find Tim HERE. Find Stuart HERE. Find Anthony HERE. Find Camden HERE.
94 minutes | 2 months ago
Socially Distant Santa with Joe Cariola
Spend your Christmas morning on the couch listening to your favorite podcast, while contemplating the empty spot in the home that you thought you might fill with a tree this year, but which you ultimately put off too long to actually buy. The holidays are full of Drama like that, so why not listen to this episode for a little comedy instead? For the third year in a row, the Statesmen are joined by sweet Chicago comedian Joe Cariola to celebrate another tipsy holiday season, but this time from a safe distance! We've got games, heavy drinking, and the convoluted time travel element from our last Christmas special is (almost) entirely gone! Find Joe HERE. Find Tim HERE. Find Santa HERE. Find Anthony HERE. Find Camden HERE.
130 minutes | 3 months ago
Minnesota 2 with Tom Dyke
The Mall of America has over 500 stores, and this episode has over 500 laughs! (although some of those stores/laughs have adjusted hours due to the pandemic.) This week we're joined by Minnesota native, and gaming savant, Tom Dyke! He'll be our guide to the frozen north as we cover the finer points of mac and cheese shapes, what it means to be a chicken guy, and the answer to life's greatest question: "what's that sound you make when you die in Roblox?" The state is unforgettable, and so is this episode. Listen up! Find Tom HERE. Find Tim HERE. Find Stuart HERE. Find Anthony HERE. Find Camden HERE.
113 minutes | 3 months ago
Missouri 3 with Caleb Hearon
This episode is better than sliced bread! But I know that's not saying much... I promise, it's like so much better than sliced bread... This week we're joined by historically gay internet celebrity (he told us to say that) Caleb Hearon! He'll walk us through life growing up in a small Missouri town, and how it helped to shape the man he is today! (Statesmen Media LLC does not support or condone the views of Anthony Rossi in relation to Dolly Parton's Dixie Stampede.) Find Caleb HERE. Find Tim HERE. Find Stuart HERE. Find Anthony HERE. Find Camden HERE.
120 minutes | 3 months ago
Vermont 2 with Shelby Wolstein
Winter is coming and you need a hefty coat to stave off that frigid ice witch when she inevitably knocks on your door. Better head to the place where coats are practically grown on trees... Burlington Vermont! (Burlington like the coat factory I guess? that's fucking hilarious!) This week we're joined by Podcaster, Comedian, and High Jumper, Shelby Wolstein, who walks us through the culture of her college town. We talk celebrity ice cream, put sugar on our snow, and discuss the possibly that one stack of filing cabinets, is just as interesting as another stack of filing cabinets. You really can't miss this one folks! Find Shelby HERE. Find Tim HERE. Find Stuart HERE. Find Anthony HERE. Find Camden HERE.
130 minutes | 3 months ago
New Jersey 3 with Chuck Sutton
The Sopranos Finale cut to black and New Jersey culture let out perfect synchronized scream, "WOAH! WHAT'S THIS OVER HERE?" If only that finale could go on forever. Instead of one hour long, how about 2 hours long? How about longer than that?! WHO COULD EVER CREATE CONTENT THAT LONG?! (hint: it's us.) This week the Statesmen are joined by the New Jersey native, beat-cutting verse-mixer and seriously friendly boy, Chuck Sutton. He helps us explore the fancy northeastern corners of The Garden State. What's buried in your Garden? Find Chuck HERE. Find Tim HERE. Find Stuart HERE. Find Anthony HERE. Find Camden HERE.
107 minutes | 4 months ago
State Match Maker with Laura Maynard
Once every 10 years the powerful hex surrounding Mount Love is broken in twain, allowing the mountains inhabitant to visit us mortals. Now, for only the second time in Statesmen (and world) history, we've got a damn love expert on the show! It's officially cuffing season throughout The 50! This week the Love Master herself, Laura Maynard, returns to the show to help us pick the perfect State First Date couples. We talk and Holograms on this "lovely" special episode ;) Find Laura HERE. Find Tim HERE. Find Stuart HERE. Find Anthony HERE. Find Camden HERE.
130 minutes | 4 months ago
Washington D.C. 2 with Christopher Isaacson
The Heart of America? Is it beating in the chests of our citizens, or found literally at the geographical center of our nations borders? Nope, it's behind the gleaming white pillars and air head politicians in the nation's capital, Washington D.C.! This week The Statesmen are joined by D.C. native, and comedy weirdo, Christopher Isaacson. Chris helps us set the record straight on this (almost) state! So participate in your civic duty, cast your vote, and make sure you fill in the bubble all the way, because this November The Statesmen are surfing a mighty wave into the white house!* *(a wave of laughter an applause, that is.) Find Christopher HERE. Find Tim HERE. Find Stuart HERE. Find Anthony HERE. Find Camden HERE.
109 minutes | 4 months ago
Haunted House Party with Fraxiom
Happy Hyperpop Halloween my little Ghouls and Goblins! This year we celebrate the scariest holiday of all with musical artist, big time CEO, and child of the internet, Fraxiom! They help us create the scariest Haunted House attraction this side of Halloweentown using just the five senses and our terrible jokes as building materials! So keep your costume on but forget the candy bags! Just grab the rave candy on your wrist and enter into an audio foam party the likes of which have never been heard before! Listen Up... IF YOU DARE! Find Fraxiom HERE. Find Tim HERE. Find Stuart HERE. Find Anthony HERE. Find Camden HERE.
127 minutes | 5 months ago
Washington 2 with Eric Rahill
George Washington? He's just some stuffy old wig that adorns our quarters and dollars. If only some enterprising young trifecta would come along to redefine the name Washington for years to come... Well, good news numb nuts, we frickin did it! This week the boys head back to the pacific north west with Washington native Eric Rahill, to rediscover puget sounds and coffee grounds. Find Eric HERE Find Tim HERE. Find Stuart HERE. Find Anthony HERE. Find Camden HERE.
136 minutes | 5 months ago
Georgia 2 with Alan F Giles
The Devil went down to Georgia, he was looking for a soul to steal. He was in a bind, cause he was way behind, he was looking to make a deal... Luckily the boys are expert deal makers, and we sold our triptych of souls to the Devil himself, just to make this a fantastic episode! This week, The Statesmen are joined by comedian extraordinaire Alan F. Giles to explore the peachiest state in the union, Georgia! Find Alan HERE. Find Tim HERE. Find Stuart HERE. Find Anthony HERE. Find Camden HERE.
144 minutes | 5 months ago
Tennessee 2 with Jake Doan and Luke Deitz
Long. Wide. Stretched. This state is known for its impressive x-axis, but this week we're really getting into the "WHY" of Tennessee! The boys are joined by Tennessee-raised musicians and creatives, Jake Doan and Luke Deitz, who walk us through hometowns and hoedowns. So Tennessee two-step your little finger down to the play button and enjoy a LONG episode about the LONG state. If you're interested in helping with the current situation in Louisville please visit The Bail Project and The Louisville Mutual Aid.
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