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This week's Square Roots is sponsored by Manscaped, please use the promo code SQUAREROOTS at the checkout to receive your discount! Buried cities! Robot guns! People bullets! Reapers, or -Wels-! All this and more in today's Square Roots! We're heading towards the end of Disk 1, and things are just getting more dramatic. Will Fei get out of his Cloud coma? What's the nanomachine Terra all about? Can we get even more Brain Guys scenes? Also: - Is Vanessa Canon in the Callista Flockheart Protocol? - The French Version of New York Police - Noita Sounds Like Murder If You're A Gangster - The Sky Is Full of Balls! - The Third Worst Dungeon in Square Roots History - Billy's Sex Work Proposal - Pink Eye: Is It Poop Eye? - Matthew's e-Stim Corner - Everyone Loves a Pontiff - On The Streets of Santa Monickerrrr - Another Case of Too Many Sephiroths - Wild Tonal Shifts This Week: We reach the floating city of Shevat! Next Week:  We finish Disk 1! Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome new theme! You can find him at: https://twitter.com/BeigeOnBeige and https://www.youtube.com/user/morrissteven Contact Square Roots! Twitter: @squarerootspod Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/ Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com

Square Roots - Episode 314 This week's Square Roots is sponsored by Manscaped, please use the promo code SQUAREROOTS at the checkout to receive your discount! On this week's Tummy Talk, we get to the floating city of Thames, surprisingly while conscious. There we play lots of bullshit minigames, talk with the drunk citizens, rescue a little girl, and get into a whole lot of mech on mech grudge matches. But with Fei out of commission can Bart, Elly and Citan get to the bottom of what the heck is a Reaper? Also: - A! Man! Of! The! Sea! - Fei's in a Cloud Coma - Speeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeed! - Vanessa's Insane Scaped or Escape Game - Nothing Much Happens This Week: Fei gets to the Thames! Next Week:  Fei reaches the floating city of Shevat! Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome new theme! You can find him at: https://twitter.com/BeigeOnBeige and https://www.youtube.com/user/morrissteven Contact Square Roots! Twitter: @squarerootspod Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/ Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com

Square Roots - Episode 313 This week's Square Roots is sponsored by Manscaped, please use the promo code SQUAREROOTS at the checkout to receive your discount! This week on Square Roots we plunge deeper into the complex world of Xenogears! After waking up in prison, Fei finds himself knocked out, waking up in prison. After suffering a strange defeat in the prison battling system, he wakes up in prison. Can he escape?! Also: - Fei Wakes Up in Prison - The Weird English Use of Prom - Blanka's Battle Boys - Is Beastoid a slur? - Walter the Robot - Fei Wakes Up in Prison - Citan MAY be a bad guy - Gazel Middle Management - A Dramatic Reading This Week: Fei wakes up in the D-Block! Next Week:  Fei gets to the Thames! Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome new theme! You can find him at: https://twitter.com/BeigeOnBeige and https://www.youtube.com/user/morrissteven Contact Square Roots! Twitter: @squarerootspod Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/ Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com

Square Roots - Episode 312 This week's Square Roots is sponsored by Manscaped, please use the promo code SQUAREROOTS at the checkout to receive your discount! Johnny and Matthew are rewarded with their Xenogears diligence with some of the best Gundam style ship destruction in Square roots history! As Fei and Bart's attack on Aveh fails there's the kind of anime complication that Johnny loves. Also: - Vanessa is a Chocolate Cake Gal - Johnny is the Taste Alpha - Batman's Death Toll - Snapping the Yggrasil - Is Grahf a human? - Hot sprite abs - Get Behind Me, Citan! - Pince-ers versus Pinch-ers This Week: Fei wakes up in the D-Block! Next Week:  Fei gets to the Thames! Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome new theme! You can find him at: https://twitter.com/BeigeOnBeige and https://www.youtube.com/user/morrissteven Contact Square Roots! Twitter: @squarerootspod Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/ Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com

Square Roots - Episode 311 This week's Square Roots is sponsored by Manscaped, please use the promo code SQUAREROOTS at the checkout to receive your discount! It's a two-hander as Matthew and Johnny push some big boulders and make their way through the confusing caverns of Xenogears. LOVE the little teeny tiny map characters! LOATHE the terrible camera! LIVE the experience of taking half an hour to figure out how to leave a room! Also: - A Clear Misunderstanding Of How Moisture Wicking Works - Ranking Hottest Fish Men - Johnny's Ball Hair Tight Five - Nisan Altima Magic - Edging Someone On This Week: Fei rescues Margie and brings her back to the Yggrasil! Next Week:  Fei wakes up in the D-Block! Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome new theme! You can find him at: https://twitter.com/BeigeOnBeige and https://www.youtube.com/user/morrissteven Contact Square Roots! Twitter: @squarerootspod Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/ Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com

Square Roots - Episode 310 That's right! This week's Square Roots is sponsored by Manscaped, please use the promo code SQUAREROOTS at the checkout to receive your discount! We promise next week's commercial will be... more succinct. This week on Square Roots we dive into the space fantasy anime that is Xenogears. There's lots of religious imagery. Lots of swinging crosses. Accidental village melting. And big Gundam punchies! Also: - Just what is Angel Dust? - Johnny's Chronic Elden Ring Problem - More JRPG Bingo Cards - Timothy's Himbo Energy Tragically Cut Short - Dan, the Creepy 40 Year Old Child - Correct Usage of Well Endowed - A Young, Suave, Hip Doc Brown This Week: Fei defeats Bart in combat and falls into the cavern! Next Week: Get Margie back to the Yggrasil! Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome new theme! You can find him at: https://twitter.com/BeigeOnBeige and https://www.youtube.com/user/morrissteven Contact Square Roots! Twitter: @squarerootspod Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/ Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com

Square Roots - Episode 309 Holy crow! We all finished Final Fantasy Tactics! Does this mean we're all pro gamers now? There was no Andraste or anything. Heck, Matthew and Johnny even got Cloud for some pointless reason, as well as War of the Lion's Balthier. Also: - Next Game Announced! - Monkey Ireland! - Blaidd Gaslights Johnny at the Taco Bell! - Letters Too Big To Read! - Surprisingly A Bad Human Guy Turns Into A Big Monster! - Falling Over With Sadness! - I Come From A Cosmic Tinderbox! This Week: We finish the game! Next Week:  You Defeat Ramsus and Miang! Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome new theme! You can find him at: https://twitter.com/BeigeOnBeige and https://www.youtube.com/user/morrissteven Contact Square Roots! Twitter: @squarerootspod Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/ Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com

Now that we're over the Wiegraf Hunt, it's full speed ahead plowing through the first half of Chapter Four of Final Fantasy Tactics. There's a whole lot of vampirism, oodles of bad guy cutaways, and adorable sprites spewing blood after being assassinated. Also: - Happy April Betrayals - Fred Baddecisions and Lady Realgamer - Ramza's Cakes - A Lot of Lucavi Talk - The Mask was the Killgrave of The Mask - Plus Ten Gravy - A Ranking of Cids - Reverse Cowboy This Week: We recruit Meliadoul! Next Week:  We finish the game? Maybe?! Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome new theme! You can find him at: https://twitter.com/BeigeOnBeige and https://www.youtube.com/user/morrissteven Contact Square Roots! Twitter: @squarerootspod Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/ Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com

Are you ready for the toughest boss fight in the game? Maybe the toughest boss fight in Square Roots history? Because we are, and friends, Belias The Giygas gets it. In this chunker of Final Fantasy Tactics we march towards Riovaynes Castle and somehow manage to pick up two new party members along the way? Will we use them? Probably not? Also: - When you possess something smaller than a human it will explode its body! - Gushing with ghosts we know are ghosts! - Switcheroo Princess - I AM COME - Let the Bodies Hit the Floor, Verse 2 This Week: We finish Chapter 3! Next Week:  We recruit Meliadoul! Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome new theme! You can find him at: https://twitter.com/BeigeOnBeige and https://www.youtube.com/user/morrissteven Contact Square Roots! Twitter: @squarerootspod Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/ Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com

Uh oh. Pack the little ones off to bed, because we're a little spicy on this salacious episode of Square Roots: A Rashomon Podcast! So much happens in this chunker of Final Fantasy Tactics: War of the Lions as we try to make sense of which million characters is important, defeat a demon with a mouth tummy, and so much more! Also: - Horny Columbo! - But there's also bunny MEN! - What Matt Does When There's Text on Screen! (NSFW) - Oogie Boogie Demon! - Alma's Super Awesome Invincibility Spell! - Wiegraf wants a Treat? This Week: We clear out the Orbonne Monastery fights! Next Week:  We finish Chapter 3! Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome new theme! You can find him at: https://twitter.com/BeigeOnBeige and https://www.youtube.com/user/morrissteven Contact Square Roots! Twitter: @squarerootspod Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/ Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com

Hooray! We're all back, and there definitely were no arguments edited out of this episode! Instead, we're playing the first chunker of Chapter 2: that's right: you get to find out all sorts of secrets about the Princess! You keep bumping into Delita for some reason! Ramza is a grown up now and he's mad! Also: - No arguments whatsoever! - Matthew denies the existence of both TMNT 2: The Arcade Game *and* TMNT 3: The Manhattan Project! - Fred Savage as Delita, Macaulay Culkin as Ramza! - Matthew's Racing Stripe Beard That Goes From 0-69 in 2 seconds! - Nothing is argued about, ever! And so much more! This Week: We rescue the "Princess" from Golgoda Gallows! Next Week: We finish the three fights in the Monastery in Chapter 3! Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome new theme! You can find him at: https://twitter.com/BeigeOnBeige and https://www.youtube.com/user/morrissteven Contact Square Roots! Twitter: @squarerootspod Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/ Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com

So... it turns out that Johnny was the only one really up for recording this week. Instead of doing a one hander, Johnny and Vanessa hang out and do a quick Hot Gaming News spectacular! This Week: ... Next Week:  We "rescue" the "princess" from Golgollada Gallows! Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome new theme! You can find him at: https://twitter.com/BeigeOnBeige and https://www.youtube.com/user/morrissteven Contact Square Roots! Twitter: @squarerootspod Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/ Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com

Alright! We're now onto Matthew's Official Favourite Game of All Time: Final Fantasy Tactics! We're playing War of the Lions, but you can play whatever version you like, depending on if you like your translations Classic or Extra Spicy. There's plenty of talk about classes, class, and classiness this week! Also: - Not Every Moustached Man is Brian David Gilbert - Hugh Can Dance - Matthew's Pleasant ASMR Robot - Watching Dad Shows - Robot Insurance And so much more! This Week: We finish Chapter 1! Next Week:  Golgollada Gallows Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome new theme! You can find him at: https://twitter.com/BeigeOnBeige and https://www.youtube.com/user/morrissteven Contact Square Roots! Twitter: @squarerootspod Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/ Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com

We wrap up Dragon Age 2 with a surprise: everyone finished the game! It's a BioWarey miracle! But who lived? Who died? What was this week's Hot Gaming News anyway? Also: - Walter Goblins - Miss McPoogle - Awkward Kissing Angles - Some Language Infomercial I've Never Heard Of - My Dock Is Dry, Baby - Vanessa's Confusing Contest This Week: We finish Dragon Age 2! Next Week:  Defeating Milleuda (For Realsies)! Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome new theme! You can find him at: https://twitter.com/BeigeOnBeige and https://www.youtube.com/user/morrissteven Contact Square Roots! Twitter: @squarerootspod Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/ Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com

Uh oh! Jim's in the dog house after a computer related episode eating. But we truck on with Episode 302: The Revenge! In it we look at the DLC for BioWare's Dragon Age 2. Also: - Top Bottoms of the Tower - Larry's Pandemic Haircut - Janica's Blue Warden Team Makes it to Regionals - Reacher's Floppy Hog - Another thing Johnny pronounces wrong - Beefy Boy Fountain This Week: We finish the Felicia DayLC and Legacy! Next Week:  We finish Dragon Age 2! Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome new theme! You can find him at: https://twitter.com/BeigeOnBeige and https://www.youtube.com/user/morrissteven Contact Square Roots! Twitter: @squarerootspod Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/ Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com

One mage with a challenge: lose it! One crazy week to make his sexy dream a reality. That's the 1980s sex comedy that is one part of one quest today as we cover the beginning of Act III in Dragon Age 2. Also: - BioWare's Ominous Tilty Cam - A 3D Puzzle Made of Meat - Johnny Joins the PC Police - A brief appearance by Carol Channing - Far too much Hot Gaming News This Week: We complete the Act 3 Companion Quests Next Week:  We finish the Felicia DayLC and Legacy! Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome new theme! You can find him at: https://twitter.com/BeigeOnBeige and https://www.youtube.com/user/morrissteven Contact Square Roots! Twitter: @squarerootspod Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/ Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com

THREE HUNDO EPISODES! Even though Jim is still on location this episode is chockablock with Jim related Sqaure Roots Trivia to celebrate this arbitrary milestone! In this episode Hawke's mom gets a new look, you take a quick trip to the Fade, Fenris the Wooby touches peoples hearts, and so much more! Also: - Vanessa's Star Fox Shipping and Anthro Mating Rules - Mother Loves Mister Castle - Feynriel's Anxiety Dreams - Jim Related Trivia Fest - FRIDGE. THAT. MOM. This Week: We finish Act II. Next Week:  We complete the Act 3 Companion Quests and Felicia DayLC Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome new theme! You can find him at: https://twitter.com/BeigeOnBeige and https://www.youtube.com/user/morrissteven Contact Square Roots! Twitter: @squarerootspod Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/ Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com

In this chunker of BioWare's Dragon Age II we start with a heartfelt apology to Sweden. We promise to never again mention The Normal Chef. It's a two hander with Johnny trying his best to host as they tackle Varric's Tale. Also: - The Hottest Hot Gaming News in a Decade - Gum Songs - Everyone's a Celebrity in England - Aveline's Dating Skills - Eluvian Repair Kits - A Lot Of Stuff Happening, Also Nothing Happening This Week: We complete The Long Road, Mirror Image, Dissent, Black Powder Courtesy, and Prime Suspect! Next Week:  We finish Act II. Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome new theme! You can find him at: https://twitter.com/BeigeOnBeige and https://www.youtube.com/user/morrissteven Contact Square Roots! Twitter: @squarerootspod Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/ Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com In this chunker of BioWare's Dragon Age II we start with a heartfelt apology to Sweden. We promise to never again mention The Normal Chef. It's a two hander with Johnny trying his best to host as they tackle Varric's Tale. Also: - The Hottest Hot Gaming News in a Decade - Gum Songs - Everyone's a Celebrity in England - Aveline's Dating Skills - Eluvian Repair Kits - A Lot Of Stuff Happening, Also Nothing Happening This Week: We complete The Long Road, Mirror Image, Dissent, Black Powder Courtesy, and Prime Suspect! Next Week:  We finish Act II. Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome new theme! You can find him at: https://twitter.com/BeigeOnBeige and https://www.youtube.com/user/morrissteven Contact Square Roots! Twitter: @squarerootspod Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/ Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com

Jim and Vanessa talk to Dragon Age II's executive producer, Mark Darrah on the creation of Dragon Age II as well as the state of the industry. Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome new theme! You can find him at: https://twitter.com/BeigeOnBeige and https://www.youtube.com/user/morrissteven Contact Square Roots! Twitter: @squarerootspod Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/ Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com

Get Deep Roads deep into Dragon Age II with us in this spelunking episode of Square Roots! We recruit Isabella, don't recruit the Qunari mage, and at least for one of us a party member dies! Also: - I want sonic to help me put on underwear - Vanessa's Felicia Day Beef and Felicia DayLC - A 10 Minute Cullen Chat - Croissandra With A Side of Sour Cream - A man with some kind of gutters - It Was Sassy Frassy This Week: We complete the Deep Roads Expedition! Next Week: We complete The Long Road, Mirror Image, Dissent, Black Powder Courtesy, and Prime Suspect Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome new theme! You can find him at: https://twitter.com/BeigeOnBeige and https://www.youtube.com/user/morrissteven Contact Square Roots! Twitter: @squarerootspod Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/ Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com