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Good day, dear listeners, and welcome to another episode of Sort of Brilliant. I'm your host Lady Whistledown, a much classier and much Regency-er version of Gossip Girl, and I'm here to reveal the houses of Simon Basset, Duke of Hastings, and Miss Daphne Bridgerton. Is our sorting correct? Yes always. Are you going to get sick of this specific type of romantic pairing? Probably! This isn't our fault, blame Hollywood for being completely unimaginative, or more accurately, blame us as the audience for being simps who would lick this character dynamic off the floor of a crowded ballroom. Bridgerton is a series that unapologetically shoves overused comfort tropes, softcore porn and instrumental versions of Taylor Swift down your throat, and you can't even pretend you're above that because you're here, listening to this episode and eating it all up. I bet you know about the Tik Tok musical too, don't you. Enjoy the episode, we're ashamed of ourselves (we're not at all).

Say it...out loud...it's the Twilight episode. This Valentine's Day, SOB explores the romance story to end all love stories. Bill, Sookie and Eric? Katniss, Peeta and Gale? They all walked so Edward, Bella and Jacob could run, and run they did to five books, five movies, a BDSM fanfiction offshoot and a Renaissance that puts Italians to shame. Michael Sheen died for these movies guys. Robert Pattinson ran away to become a microwave pasta mogul. Twilight gets right up in your soul ("I don't HAVE a soul" - Edward Cullen, resident eternally 17-year old pale boi). Where could we have possibly sorted the love triangle of the 21st century? Give us a listen to travel this love/hate journey with us, and, if nothing else, to understand the memes we'll be posting for the rest of our (undead) lives. 

Goooooood morning Greendale! Inspector Spacetime back to November, 2020, when SOB's audio was as shitty as the community college they're covering in this week's episode. Everybody at Greendale Community College may be a fellow Human Being, but not everybody is Jeff, Britta and Annie, quite possibly the weirdest examples of their respective houses we have yet seen. Strap in for a lot of laughs because - you know when people are talking about Office Space, and they keep quoting specific lines from Office Space, and you sit there like, "Office Space is never on TV and I literally only know it because of internet memes, how do so many people know lines from Office Space?" Community is TV's Office Space, and it's vastly underappreciated, and frankly, you should be ashamed of yourself. What, you're a fan? Obviously not, or we'd have our movie by now wouldn't we. You've really Britta'd this one, pop, pop!

Our show is growing, so the next logical step was to invite on friends who know very little about Harry Potter or sorting. That's right, it's a ~CROSSOVER EPISODE~. Meg and Carla, cohosts of Bed, Wed and Behead and new resident fandom experts in the f*ck, marry kill market, join Lauren and Rachel on this heavily edited episode where they scrutinize the women of Once Upon A Time. What houses will they be sorted into, and how much of their choice will be influenced by the fact that hours before this episode was recorded they all collectively (shut up Carla) agreed to kill someone? Surely any dissent among the ranks won't carry over into this episode, nor will Lauren and Rachel lose their minds over the BeWBs (un)educated sorting. Only listening to the episode can tell you. @ Disney, and 7 year old little girls everywhere, please don't sue us.

Warner Brothers finally caved and gave us Wonder Woman 1984, and civilization and movie theaters as we know them are ending, but we're not here to talk about any of that. Hell, we're not even here to talk about WW84 (the spoilers don't even start until about 20 minutes in). What we're here to do is talk about how hot Steve Trevor and his fanny pack are. That's it. This podcast is 60+ minutes of erotic fanny pack discussion. If any sorting makes it in here at all, it's certainly despite the very best efforts of Lauren. In fact, she's unsure why the fanny pack itself wasn't sorted, but these are the breaks when working with other people less appreciative of casual waist-wear (*cough*Rachel*cough*). Anyway. Sorting definitely happens here. We sort Diana and Steve, yes we totally do, and the pairing is not at all familiar to us, nope. Not at all.

Would you believe in the episode called Sort of Dash and Lily the SOB girls are sorting...Dash and Lily? No? Too obvious for you? Us too to be honest, these sortings were EXTREMELY OBVIOUS, although we did get to delve deep into what are the two most overlooked houses in the HP world, since they were mostly ignored by the narrative. Funnily enough, this romantic pairing are somewhat of a unicorn to us as well, so don't be surprised when half the episode is just bafflement at the pairing of the specific type of these two houses that somehow works out. We also spend time listing all of the TV shows we know and exclaiming that we have literally never seen these two houses regularly paired before. Like ever. Even in a close friends type situation. Please help us, are you one of these two houses and are you friends with the other, we want to speak to you (dissect your relationship).

This week SOB is back to talking about Supernatural's Team Free Will 2.0, now that they've got the two brother characters out of the way. What was supposed to be a simple sorting task turned into a crying fest and a knock down drag out fight, respectively. What house does faithful, loyal, desperate-to-belong Castiel fit into, and does it matter if *SPOILERS* he's dead? What about Jack? Does his agency in choosing his own moral path mean anything to you? It certainly doesn't to Rachel, but she did have a lot to say about how much he wanted to grow up to be just like his dads. When told about this podcast, actor Misha Collins ("Castiel" on Supernatural) rolled his eyes and said "of COURSE that's what you're doing with your time," so that's a ringing endorsement if we've ever heard one. Anywho, sop up the bread of your Supernatural finale disappointment in this teary as heck episode!

Rachel and Lauren put their best foot forward in their pilot episode by sorting Team Free Will 2.0 from the CW's Supernatural...except they talked way too much about Dean and Sam (but mostly Dean), so Team Free Will has been cut down to bros only (to their horror). Enjoy as they discuss how Dean's overprotective, dramatic impulsiveness can only put him in one house, and how Sam is much more than the books he reads and the WiFi his hair manages to pick up wherever he goes. This may have turned into a Winchester episode, but the brothers are clearly deeply affected by the little family they've built, so strap in and - guys I can't pretend to be professional anymore DESTIEL IS CANON.

Ever sit around watching your favorite show and think, "geez, what a Ravenclaw thing to do." Haha. Us neither! Except we totally do, or this podcast wouldn't exist.  Meet Lauren and Rachel, two best friends with two commonly shared interests: fandom analysis and being right. In this sneak peek of their new show Sort of Brilliant, they'll tell you how they met, how their obsession with sorting came to be, and how they're going to bring it to you, the lucky public, in podcast format. Get to know them and their own Hogwarts houses, and begin to realize why the Sorting Hat is often wrong, but these two never are. We look forward to sorting with you!