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El Sooper PODCAST!!
59 minutes | 2 years ago
#329!! Momorchids of Louisiana and Mexico!!
This week el Matt explains the MOMO scare and why it’s a hoax, and then he lies about clicking pens, also the podcast gets a new name and Jess gets a new name, and el Sooper gives his child-rearing tips again, also Florida man tweets a threat to Michael Cohen and el Sooper lets you know ALL you need to know about the Cohen testimony, and then he goes on a sooper-RANT about Colorado, also that guy who keeps killin’ gay black men in his apartment, then we discuss Alex Jones’ latest insane rant [with a lot of cursing], all new on the latest “I tell you what I’m ashamed to be associated with you people,” podcast!!
57 minutes | 2 years ago
#328 Smug Condescending Sunrise Climate Cult Tulip Asian Spa
THIS WEEK we find a new name for our podcast in the first few minutes of the recording wow!! We describe at length our newfound love for Senator Dianne Feinstein, also el Sooper discusses the first time he had grits oh golly in the nation’s capitol! Also how two power rangers attacked el Sooper, and he soopsplains how Jessie Marie was 50% more right than he is!! Also the Smollett wonderfulness!! And then miraculously, the MATT actually comes prepared to talk about something! Finally we have a mail back section!! WOW!! All new on the latest “I tell you what I’m ashamed to be associated with you people,” podcast!!
48 minutes | 2 years ago
#327!! Fry Festival Suspended Derp Blob with many Heads FAQ
THIS WEEK we talk about fries festivals and Jessie Marie has her POPE yes moment, and I tell you what I’m ashamed to be associated with these people, but we talk about celebrating the Border Wall that is being built and is completed, and it’s amazing, also we redeem Joe Rogan. Then I recommend the Dropout podcast about Elizabeth Holmes’ Theranos scam, and Jessie Marie recommends some podcast called Dirty John or something. I dunno, I didn’t listen. And we have a new motto, “I don’t know what it’s about, but I have a lot of strong opinions about it!” Also el Sooper recaps the developments in the Bezos story!! WOW!!
59 minutes | 2 years ago
#326 Mexican Resignation Standoff with Relations and Cargo Pants
THIS WEEK!!! El SooperPodcast returns with a vengeance and also with a Matt and with a Jessie marie!!! We discuss the crapple-fratz quandary, and why Matt is suddenly so continental, how to make queso so that social media jerks don’t make fun of you, also el Sooper apologizes for his very controversial half-assed statement from the last podcast, and the Trump tax cut, also the New Green Deal, and the YUGE National Enquirer Bezos sexting news that broke right when we went to record!! WOW!! ALL on the newest edition of the “I tell you what I’m ashamed to be associated with you people,” podcast!!
34 minutes | 2 years ago
#325!!! The Northam Blackface KKK Moonwalking Podcast Thriller!!!
THIS WEEKEND!!! We made up for the short Jess podcast with a short Matt podcast!! And wow what a great time to record - we give ALL the Northam coverage you could possibly want and we talk dancing and moonwalking and rape kits wow!!! You have to listen now!!
41 minutes | 2 years ago
#324!! OK, we'll keep stabbing you in the back, but we won't twist the knife!!
THIS WEEK there ain’t no MATT there’s just a Jessie Marie!! And we talk about all sorts of annoying things that annoy the Soop!!! Jessie accuses el Sooper of trusting Apple and he doesn’t!! But he trusts kitchen fingers. And we talk about what Jessie said last podcast that was a litte… iffy. ALSO she’s not teaching her kid about how to update stories, and also we BLAME quatto, the new president of Venezuela, for not protecting his daughter and his mother from dictator Maduro!! THEN el Sooper defends tweeting “learn to code” to journalists and also he mocks people who think all toilet scrubbers work harder than billionaires. WOW! You have to listen NOWW!!!
56 minutes | 2 years ago
#323 I am a tree that is chopping itself down and lighting itself on fire
THIS WEEK we have the whole gang together, including MATT and the girl and SMATT and SooperMexican! WOW!! El sooper harangues everyone to watch the Fyre Festival documentaries which are amaaaazing and also freaks people out with a crime documentary they have to see. Also the girl mocks el SOoper for recording himself like Nixon on accident and Matt feeds toothpaste to a homeless guy and we can hear everything on his my-microphone, and your ketchup kitchen fingers, and we talk about big league chew! Then we talk about two homeless stories, and then el Sooper mocks someone saying human beings are inherently good, because duh, and the joy thief stories!!! WOW you have to listen right now!! Also words don’t matter.
54 minutes | 2 years ago
#322!! Running a train on vague colloquial stories
THIS WEEK we have MATT back and boy do I regret it, first he tells us about splitting his pants and his Christmas underwear also he gives in to diabetes, you won, diabetes, then el Sooper talks about Mitt Romney and Bimbo donuts and he makes people pat him on the back over Tucker Carlson, and we debate the Gillette commercial, kinda, also Matt kills the pharmacy hashtag, and breaking Michael Cohen news!! AND we make fun of Ocasio-Cortez running a train, but Rebar-Face is not amused!! Also Matt tells a very long joke. I didn’t get it. Then I hung up on them. WOW you have to listen now!!
55 minutes | 2 years ago
#321!! A soft spot for stupidity!
THIS WEEK there is NO MATT but there's a SMATT! and a Jessie Marie!! We talk about Beto O'Rourke's mouth, what? and also hyper-personal social media, and el Sooper talks about the Aztecs gods with flayed human skin, and don't get all judgey, also RASHIDA TLAIB IS INSANE and we declare a state of mexmergency and the media LIED about Ocasio's dancing, never happened, never happened!! And we need more memes about the podcast, get crackin! Orale! You have to listen now!!
61 minutes | 2 years ago
#320!! Cave-trumping fast-pass for churros!!
THIS WEEK!!! We come back from the Christmas New Year's break with a blockbuster mediocre podcast just for you!! Don’t ask matt where the gatorade is or you’ll get some hatorade from him, and he doesn’t look like a butcher, and definitely not about the chitlins and not the poke chops dammit!! Also el Sooper is absolutely mexasperated with politics and he just came back from a vacation so what the heck, hermano?! No luck for you, Matt. Also MATT hates fireworks, then we have fond memories of #RedEye,and hamhocks and then we talk about Schweinshaze and then we talk about Europe, it’s GREAT!! Also it’s shut the eff up Friday, and we go over the most awkward quotes from 2018. WOW!! You have to listen now!!
54 minutes | 2 years ago
#319 Hei Hei fowl suck ducks! With Jessie Marie!!
THIS WEEK we fire Matt and we only have SMATT!! and Jessie Marie - an all minority podcast!! We flounder in mediocrity for 53 glorious minutes!! Then Jessie Marie ACCUSES el Sooper of acting like MATT when he’s NOT!! Also we talk about hei hei and Moana and why el Sooper thinks ALL Disney movies are bad for lil children and their moral development and he even talks about philosophy WOW!! Also el Sooper talks about how he knows he’s hit the bigtime, and we talk about glitter bombs, and it’s really good wow!! You have to listen now!!
63 minutes | 2 years ago
#318 Emotional support non-hatchimal chatahoochies!!
THIS WEEK Jessie Marie tells us she can sleep through a train driving through her home, and we talk about the chatahootchie, and intercourse and Mexico, also el Sooper mexplains the difference between workin’ moms and stay-at-home-and-work moms, also there are fat diabetes-ridden kitchen fingers and non-hatchimals, and Mr. Soop, the serial killer, slaps down the Russian state robot fakery and there are emotional support squirrels!!! WOW!! You have to listen now!!
60 minutes | 2 years ago
#317!! Cannibal burds and purple veggie villains!!
THIS WEEK we hire Jessie Marie Heddings again after el Sooper not being able to replace her with cheap Mexican labor unfortunately. Anyway, we talk about the incredible eulogy that George W. Bush gave for his dad, and then we babble on about all sorts of stuff like PETA and how they're 1% right (hear me out on this), also more Katchup references, and rebar-face defends the guy who called out Kanye West on his iPhone and we make fun of Matt's mymicrophone, and el Sooper says that dark-skinned vegetables might actually be evil!! Aaaaand SMATT!! goes on about bullying and iphone and ipads and how they're just turrible! Turrible!! You have to listen right now!!
53 minutes | 2 years ago
#316!! How to raise your children the SOOPER way!! With MATT!!
THIS WEEK wow we have a pretty decent conversation for once. All we had to do was get rid of that angry mean Korean lady. She's GONE!! So el Sooper and MATT talk about how to raise your kids... the sooper way. No really, that's what we talk about. LISTEN NOW!!
57 minutes | 2 years ago
#315 Matt has hazmat grass allergies with alien adoptions!!
THIS WEEK el Sooper cannot figure out why Trumpy Bear became a thing, also we discuss the astounding new physics-defying way that Jess cell-phoned herself in the face, and how haunted neighbors killed stray cats or clowns or something, and the joy-stick, and bionic-dayaaaaamber, also there’s alien adoption!! Also el Sooper discusses “Children of God” on Netflix and it’s amazing, and el sooper also soopsplains Jacob Wohl and Avenatti’s troubles!! WOW!! You have to listen now!!! Also there is an extra for the papillons with the story of rebar-face and kitchen nuggets and why Jess is WRONG about fat kids getting diabetes packets from the government!!
47 minutes | 2 years ago
SooooperPodcast #314: Senamitt Midterm Petho Failures!!
THIS WEEK el Sooper is visited by el MATT and no Jess, it’s a no-Jess podcast!! We talk about the results of the midterm election, and el Sooper esplains the Q-Anon conspiracy and ties it into a conservative view of human behavior, oh wow, also Matt rhymes words for no reason, and there are shenanigans and MATT gives his prediction for 2020 and el Sooper mocks Petho O’Rourke!! Also the Senamitt!! AND the Acosta news breaks while we’re recording! WOW!
24 minutes | 2 years ago
#313 Machiavellian Monkey von Bismark Famininity
THIS WEEK I SCREWED UP and sent a 23 minute edition of the podcast? Oops. Anyway, here's the entire podcast, sorry about that. SO THIS WEEK we talk about the mistakes we made in the great Stirewalt podcast interview last week, and also we talk about Makaveli the monkey at a funeral, posthumous comments from Otto Von Bismarck, a Mexican Wikipedia standoff, and el Sooper esplains why he was NOT mocking Grace Coolidge, who was a lovely first lady, then MATT talks about everyone he met at CPAC for like the fiftieth time, and el Sooper soopsplains the ENTIRE JACOB WOHL smear against Robert Mueller!!! Also the theological roots of prayer in sports!! WOW you have to listen right now!!
59 minutes | 2 years ago
#312 The Lazy Greasy Fizzle podcast with guest Chris Stirewalt!!!
This week is the special Chris Chris Chris Stirewalt edition!! We were finally able to get our schedules worked out, and he joins the mediocre-Mexican and Jessica Heddings on our poorly edited podcast with terrible sound quality, despite the destruction it would do to his good reputation. We discuss his great great book “Every Man a King,” a history of populism in America. We have a few sound quality problems, but it’s overall decent listening. Wow was this fun. Give it a listen, let us know what you think, and pick up his book. Go listen now!!
55 minutes | 2 years ago
#311 Big Chief Warren's cell phone and free beer in the Bills line!!
THIS WEEK!! We talk about the crazy racialist ad for a Republican that went out on the radio, and we discuss this is what happens to our husbands, our sons, when a white girl lies on them! Don't be messin' around wit' dat!! And how did Roberto O'Rourke get his name? MATT tells us!! Also we make fun of Big Chief 1/10024th Liz Warren, and el sooper pats himself on the back a few times and STOP DMing Matt with the same joke, or not, who cares. And then SMATT goes nuts over a new African American movie, then he talks about the beer comity in the Buffalo Bills line, it's AMAZING!! You have to listen NOW!!
60 minutes | 3 years ago
#310!! The Legend of Juan Henry by Matt with SMATT!!
THIS WEEK!!! Matt tells us the legend of Juan Henry and el Sooper adds to the story by bringing in comic books and Shaq starred in it, also el Sooper soopsplains the simplest explanation for why Nikki Haley left us, and also SMATT tells us how he almost DIED this week!! WOW!! And Matt explains Sprockets and playing with monkeys, also what the heck is going on with Chris Stirewalting?! Also el Sooper mocks Brooke Baldwin and this is why Trump won, darn it!! WOW you have to listen right now!!!
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