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2′ - Who is the saddest team in English soccer? And this week’s three favorite stories featuring Hull City, Bamber Bridge FC’s Wes Anderson-ready film, and the Olympics’ biggest Liverpool fan in Wayde van Niekerk.  9′ - Drew Epperley of Big D Soccer joins us to talk all things FC Dallas. What was up with Fabian Castillo’s bizarre transfer? How will the team do without him? And is Dallas the future hub of soccer? Find out by tuning in and then follow him @wvhooligan.  30′ - Game of the Week: Badshot Lea vs. Cray Wanderers  Theme music:

3′ - Three favorite stories of the week. Norwich City took part in the city’s LGBT parade, Pep Guardiola outlaws pizza and Sevilla has one of the saddest transfer announcements possible.  7′ - Gemma Kaneko comes on to talk her predictions for the EPL season and read some deep, introspective, truly important poetry about a handful of the clubs. Be sure to follow her @GemmaKaneko.  38′ - Greg Nussen along with Patrick Onofre and Will Clarke of the Challengers Podcast stop in to give preseason EPL predictions. Who will be proven right? Who will be terribly wrong? How many goals will Zlatan score?! These are the big questions of the day. Be sure to follow Greg @GNussen  [...]

#1 - Expected Pokemon Go, with Sean Steffen and Mark Simpson This is it! Welcome to the very first episode of The Substitutes Bench. We’ll be breaking down culture, oddities, fun and basically anything we want here. For Soccertes listeners, I’ll be cross posting the first few episodes until the new ep is in iTunes and you’re able to subscribe. Can ya dig it?  What’s in this week’s episode?  3′ - Three stories of the week: West Ham’s kit reveal, CD Leganes’ new scratch-n-sniff badge, and Darmstadt’s season ticket plan.  7′ - Sean Steffen comes on to give a primer on advanced stats and break down this year’s MLS first-half. Check out his work at 

Well, this is it. We’ve come to the very end. 61 episodes ago we came together to make a silly soccer podcast and today we finish with a silly soccer podcast. This week we talk to Quinn Beswick and hope to answer the deepest, most important soccer questions that scientists and scholars have not been able to answer. Follow him @LikeTheEskimo.  Then Zlatan Ibrahimovic about his new clothing line. Which is more than it seems.  Phil Annets of FA Cup Factfile then comes on to fill us in on the new rule changes and if he’s found a better non-league burger than the one at Barwell. Follow him @FACupFactFile And we wrap it all up with a look back at our EPL predictions at the start of the year with [...]

Sorry for the delay, but we’re back with our penultimate episode! And it’s one that is well worth your time.  Now that the English season is over and Leicester have been crowned champs, Claudio Rainieri returns to tell us about his pizza-eating ways.  Then, Dakota Gardner comes on to quiz us on two truths and a lie with English football teams. With ACUTAL REAL LIFE ENGLAND NATIVE Simon Benham joining in for the game, just who will win the game? 

It’s our second to last promotion and relegation episode! And this time we’re looking at the top of League One and the bottom of Championship. Which means it’s time to chat with Dan Murphy of 

Greg and Mike are back from an unplanned break to debate Leicester City’s amazing season, talk about the Northampton Town and Crewe Alexandra at the top and bottom of League Two and League One, and then chat with businessman and Yeovil Town fan Michael Bromfield about the team and his hopes for the future. Read his work at 

Greg and Mike get back to the promotion relegation episodes, this time diving into the top of the National League and the bottom of League Two.  And to help with that, Ned Keating of the Barking and Dagenham Post joins us to discuss the struggles that Dagenham have had in League Two, and if their funeral home sponsors were some kind of horrifying omen.  Later, Jon Palmer, sports editor of the Gloucestershire Echo and Gloucester Citizen comes on to talk about the amazing record-setting season that Cheltenham Town are having and sells us on the fact that we should all move there.  Here’s the full rundown:  5′ - After discussi [...]

With Greg nearly dying from anaphylactic shock and the flu, we’re back! And we’re finally getting around to doing our look at the Scottish Premiership. Before admitting to our (20th!) lifelong loves, Richard Wilson of TheFootballLife.co.uk comes on to talk the title chase, being a Celtic supporter, and what the league needs to do to grow and thrive.  Here’s the rundown:  4′ - Rimbles and rambles! PSG already wrapped up Ligue 1, Adi Yussuf has a very strange fine, and Max Kruse has a very large fine. In sadder news, a supporter died during Dortmund’s game against Mainz, but the 81,000 fans in attendance gave one of the greatest tributes possible.  18′ - Richard joins us! Let’s dive deep into Scottish football!  43′ - Our Scottish lifelong loves! Mike takes Partick Thistle and Greg sides with Heart of Midlothian 50 [...]

Wow! 55! Mike comes back from Costa Rica to talk about his travels and his first-hand experience seeing Liga play Saprissa in the Costa Rican Clasico. The boys preview the upcoming MLS season, discuss Paris Saint-Germain’s motivation, and of course, mourn the loss of Dan Gargan… to free agency. He’s still alive. Then they welcome on Josie Becker of MLSsoccer.com’s Monday Morning Rewind. Josie helps the boys understand fantasy soccer and then delightfully rejects any attempt at a prediction. Find her on Twitter @JosieBeckerFC Stay tuned to the end of the episode for a special, albeit sad announcement, from Greg. follow us on Twitter @soccertespod. Email us at soccertespodcast@gmail.com. Find us online at www.soccertespodcast.com. Find < [...]

The boys are back and they complete an episode under an hour! What a miracle! Most importantly, Mike and Greg speak with Leicester City’s manager Claudio Ranieri. They also talk about all the rimbles and rambles in the world of strange soccer, including Lampard’s sexually suggestive autograph, the firing of Derby County’s manager and the best Disney movies. Then they talk about their soccer Valentine’s and how they’d like to show Jose Mourinho and Peter Crouch their undying love. Finally the boys welcome on Sean Steffen, managing editor of SB Nation’s LA Galaxy blog, which you can find at http://www.lagconfidential.com. Find him on Twitter @seansteffen Find us on Twitter @soccertespod. Find Mike @clairbearattack. Find Greg

It’s that time of the year again. As the calendar flips over to February, Greg and Mike are doing their promotion and relegation episodes, looking at the teams with an eye towards moving up, and those who are fearful of being thrown down.  This week: They’re looking at the bottom of the National League and the top of the National League North and South.  To help them, Steve Tervet comes on to talk Ebbsfleet United, the leaders of the National League South. Steve covers the team for KentOnline and the Gravesend Messenger. Follow him @stevetervet. Then later, Peter McKinney, the sports editor for the Kidderminster Shuttle, comes on to talk the very rough season that the Harriers are having, currently 16 points adrift at the bottom of the table. Follow him @PeteMc78. 

A thrilling episode! Mike and Greg welcome their FIRST live guest! Simon Benham, former Match Day Entertainment Manager of Barnet F.C., joins us in the studio to talk about his fondest memories of working on a League Two ground. The boys also talk about Mourinho’s six-page letter imploring Manchester United to hire him, the newest MLS kits, X-Files style conspiracy theories and which U.S. Presidential candidates match which EPL teams. Find Simon Benham on Twitter @neversosi. Greg is @Gnussen. Mike is @clairbearattack. The show is @soccertespod. Email us at Soccertespodcast@gmail.com and find us on Facebook and online at www.soccertespodast.com. Rate and Review!!!!!!!

We’re finally back from our seemingly endless winter break! Back in the same room for the first time, the boys talk all the soccer happenings from around the world, including new possible logos for the EPL next season. Even better, they’re joined by Josef Momjian, former Lebanese National Team striker and owner of Soccer Plus in Pasadena, CA. He’s led an incredibly interesting life and we were lucky to chat.  The rundown:  4′ - The Revenant is terrible. We know we’re a soccer podcast, but c’mon. Greg says it’s good, but c’mon.  9′ - Okay, finally time for actual Rimbles and Rambles. Hellas Veronas haven’t won yet, Carmethen Town have the coolest club shop in sports, the MLS Draft MLS’d the hell out of it, and there is a player named Jazzi Barnum-Bobb.  23′ - New EPL logo ideas and EPL news roundup.  40′ - [...]

A cross-country Soccertes Special! Mike joins Greg via Skype to talk about the FA Cup, as the boys make their picks for the third round proper. Then, Mike sits down with recently-dismissed Jose Mourinho. Trust me, you don’t want to miss this - especially if you’ve been dying to hear where he’s going next (hint: NOT Manchester United) and how to pronounce his name (hint: we’ve ALL been wrong). Catch us on facebook, rate and review us on iTunes and follow us on Twitter @soccertespod. Email us at soccertespodcast@gmail.com. Find Mike @clairbearattack and Greg @GNussen. Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year, nut jobs.

What a year! Mike and Greg cozy up to the fire and talk Christmas, ya dweebs! With the snow coming down in buckets in Los Angeles, the lads share their favorite brand new Christmas Carols and their dream Soccer-themed New Year’s Eve party where Dan Gargan has multiple appearances. Then, they bring back Zack Goldman (from across the pond!) to talk - what else - the best Christmas jumpers (sweaters) available for purchase. The word “bespoke” is featured at least three times. To listen to his interview, tune in at the 45th minute. Follow Zack @thatdamnyank. Follow Mike @clairbearattack. Follow Greg @GNussen. Follow Soccertes @soccertespod. Follow us on Facebook, email us at soccertespod@gmail.com and check us out online at soccertespodcast.com

Greg and Mike get back together and say farewell to the MLS season following a bizarre and silly MLS Cup. But thanks to the FA Cup and lots of other soccer stuff, they still manage to put on a brave face and move forward.  Beyond talking about new MLS teams they wished existed and taking the Caleb Porter or Cole Porter quiz, they welcome Stumptown Footy’s editor, William Conwell, back to talk his experience attending the Cup and what the future of the Timbers looks like. Follow him @WilliamConwell The run down:  08:00 - Rimbles and Rambles! Arsene Wenger’s love of Bob Marley, Marco Seiler’s great beard, Stevan Jovetic’s selflessness, and all the weirdness soccer has to offer.  21:00 - Our dream MLS expansion franchises 29:00 - Some nota [...]

With the *Audi* MLS Cup on the horizon, Mike & Greg speak Pat Murphy of The Massive Report - the Columbus Crew SB Nation blog. Pat tells us all about how he’s mourning the impending loss of the iconic gold shirt and what he expects out of the Boys from Ohio when they face the Timbers. Then, the boys talk with Jason Iapicco of Once a Metro, the SB Nation Red Bulls blog writer and co-host of Red Bull Rant, a podcast. Jason tells us how he’s coping with the Red Bulls loss in the playoffs by playing Fallout, and what he hopes the team will do moving forward (despite having won the Supporters’ Shield. The boys also talk about the MLS, the new Universidad de Chile kits, which EPL player would be the best James Bond and much, much more. 18′45: Interview with Pat Murphy about Columbus Crew SC33′40: Interview with Jason Iapicco about New York Red Bulls Follow Pat Murphy @_p [...]

Greg and Mike return from their Black Friday shopping to celebrate their one year anniversary! That’s right, the show made it to one full year. No one expected us to make it this far and now where they are? DEAD. (No, they’re all alive and well.)  And to celebrate, they’re looking at the world’s greatest cup competition: THE LAMAR HUNT US OPEN CUP! And to do it, they’re talking to Josh Hakala, the man behind TheCup.Us, the only source dedicated solely to the competition. They talk the struggles that the competition has getting an audience, the wrong assumption that MLS teams don’t take it seriously and the teams and games to follow if you’re looking to latch on to it. Follow Josh and his team’s work at TheCup.Us and follow them on Twitter at @USOpenCup.  7:25 - Rimbles and rambles! There’s a player named Zander Diamo [...]

Bet you thought that an international break would mean nothing to talk about on Soccertes! Well, you’re wrong you dumb-bag! Mike and Greg welcome on Andrew Helms, senior editor of 8by8 magazine to talk about his recent article for the Guardian about Darlington Nagbe’s call-up to the USMNT (read his article here). Then, they discuss #blazercon and the commercialization of the world’s game in the U.S. Follow him @Andrew_Helms.  But they aren’t done! The boys welcome back Phil Annets to talk about the FA Cup, which ground has the best burger in all of non-league English Football, and what fixtures to look forward to in the coming weeks. Up the Railwaymen! Follow him @FACupFactFile and read his work at