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Dapper Laughs (the Timmy Mallet of lad-action) has come out with the most ridiculous excuse of all time... nobody told him not to be a fucktard!  So Eve and Cath explore what other things Dapper needs to know. And posit the idea that maybe he doesn't know how to read... ​ Also Glamour Magazine made a 1950's style list of things women can do to make men fall in love with them. In fairness...it's gone now and good on them for acknowledging they may have made an error of judgement. But the internet gods helped us in coming up with some other cracking ideas to impress our mate. And finally, we lose our shit over Pamela Stephenson Connolly in the Guardian. My wife has put on weight and I don't find her attractive any more... ooooh, we are SO ANGRY! 1,774 comments and rising, seems we're not the only ones.

Cath and Eve are currently having a bit of a summer holiday. But by the magic of pre-recording...we STILL HAVE A PODCAST! You lucky things :) So this week we're chatting about the lack of female Viagra available on the market. There's none. NONE! Not one single thing. We are outraged! And also wondering why... Maybe one of the reasons why women are not encouraged to have sex is because it's dangerous. We examine some of the worst sex accidents ever! And laugh at people's misfortune, as we do. Cross your legs and weep. Also Swingers! A quiet village has been outraged by thousands of swingers descending on their rural idyll. Joyous!

This week, Cath relives the nightmare of posting something controversial on Facebook and then forgetting about it. Bedlam ensues! So, this week, we ask the question...should people be allowed to voice their opinion? We talk about the story that started it all - Baby Abandoned at Sea. And then move on to three women who kidnapped a man to steal his sperm. There are many opinions on the article about the woman who got pregnant from anal sex. Mostly about the quality of reporting. And finally we finish off with Swipe Right, the Guardian series helping people to cope with Tinder. How do you feel when someone shags you and then never calls? All this and more laughter than you will ever possibly need! Listen and then come and join us on Google+ to let us know what you think.

Every Monday morning Cath Murphy and Eve Harvey meet via the magic of the interweb. Usually they come prepared with a list of 'things that have annoyed them' and 'things that have made them laugh' from the previous week for discussion and dissection. This week it was so much fun, we recorded it. So, not so much a Podcast, but a recorded chat. This is about as off the cuff as we can get. Completely unprepared, totally winged and...as usual, unedited. We talk about Grey, of course and quote lines about sentient cocks and teeth filled with faeces. Caitlyn Jenner gets a mention and we give her a warning that being a woman aint all it's cracked up to be. And we finish with a blinding spot from one of our wonderful G+ friends all about a tiny penis gathering. Honestly, you have to listen. It's hilarious!

This episode Eve and Cath are wondering if jail is appropriate for super loud sex. We think not, but there definitely needs to be a punishment. Our suggestions show we should be in charge of the judicial system more often. Do any of you out there need help in deciphering men? We've found the very chap to help you. Don't worry ladies there's a handy list of mistakes not to make to hook yourself your ideal man. No prizes for guessing what we think of him... Also WIFE BONUSES! We're hammering out our contracts. And once we have that cold hard cash in our hot sweaty hands we know exactly what we're going to do with it. BUY A BLOKE! More and more women are paying for sex these days. Cath and Eve try to work out why. Listen to our super hilarious chat with altogether too much laughing. And come along to Google+ and tell us what you think.

Podcast joy! We are chatting about arses! Let's discuss the lady who has been on 136 first dates and never made it to a second. What is wrong with her? Also bottoming...should we be open to it? Or is this a power struggle. And hanging fruit from your vagina and the woman who went for a walk and had to drink her own breast milk. And we finish with sex laws that could get you jail time. Don't do it!!

If last show was 'genital assault' themed, this one has to be 'lady madness'. We have Yoko Ono touting her new line of very weird clothes for men (we're still not sure if the logo on the hoodie is balls, boobs or bum), Kylie Minogue whinging on about being a withered old crone right next to photos of her looking about 18 and Samantha Brick back on her hind legs about how beeyotiful she is. Mind you, Kylie was aided and abetted by the Daily Fail in her silliness, which also printed photos of Britney Spears just so it could tell us all about the rash on her ankle. The Fail's attempts to provoke our lady rage pale in comparison to Facebook's idiot inspirational quotes, some of which inspire only puzzled frowns or the urge to find the poster and tell them to STOP. And this is the message we Sluttylemons would like to pass along to the manufacturers of meggings (male leggings) who clearly never thought what John Prescott would look like in a pair of these. And finally, we get around to the topic in the title and the maddest ladies of them all. Thank you to the contact who first alerted us to this site (she knows who she is). We will be visiting it again.   Music by Patrick Lee via Free Music Archive

Ever stepped outside of a morning and noticed men and women hurling half bricks and petrol bombs at each other? No? Well you should have because according to Suzanne Venker we are at war with each other and that is why so many women are single - because they HATE men. Mad as she is, Venker's theory might explain a rash of reports in the news about assaults and even attempted murders with body parts we normally keep covered, not to mention the very angry lady who demanded satisfaction from her ex at knife point, plus the terrible treatment handed out to writer Stuart Heritage when he complained on Twitter about his cold and was accused of having man-flu (poor lamb). But maybe women are right to get hot under the collar (or should that be bra straps?) when Amazon posts lists of suggested gifts for 'Him' and 'Her' which make 'Her' sound like she's straight out of the Stepford Wives. And to round off, we talk about bestiality. As you do. Germany is thinking about making it illegal. Which means, we guess, that all the sheep in Austria are getting very, very nervous.... Music by Patrick Lee via Free Music Archive  

We've had Sluttylemon podcasts like this before. It all starts innocently enough. We kick off with a discussion about the strange case of the Tobermory cat, where disagreement over who created a cat-persona led to Twitter carnage, threatening phone calls and the discovery of several headless corpses (some of this might not be true). Literary talk continues with an in depth analysis of whether Pippa Middleton's new book Celebration really deserves a whole Twitter stream devoted to taking the piss out of it (Sluttylemon concludes that it so does). So far, so highbrow. Hardly any filth. Then we visit the awesome website Vagendamag and a highly funny blog about women's magazines. No danger there you might think... ...except somehow, it all went wrong. Somehow we got onto dogging. Terrible sexual experiences in cars. Why sex means people are like lego. We did it again. We are so ashamed.

This one's for the boys! After a show dedicated to tarting up your pussy, the Sluttylemons feel it's time to give the guys, or a certain part of them, the benefit of our wisdom.But first, we have to talk about ex-soap stars Bill Roache and Johnny Briggs and their claims to have shagged thousands of women. Looking at these two wrinkly old barnacles we can't believe so many women would fall for them. Is there some kind of Slutterati? A secret society of women who do the rounds of ugly men? Moving on, we get stuck into cocks - care, feeding, training. No aspect of todger taming is neglected. But most important of all, we explain what works for ladies and what doesn't - taking in dating sites, pick up routines and a handy map of country by cock size (invaluable for a girl who travels).