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In this episode we are using the analogy of lanes on the highway of life to know what's our responsibility and what isn't our responsibility. It's so important in our relationships to know what we're in charge of (our own emotions, thoughts, and actions) and what we're not in charge of (everyone else's emotions, thoughts, and actions). It can be so easy in our closest relationships to get these things tangled up and stray into other people's lanes. In this episode we talk about the cupcake concept, requests and boundaries, and ownership. Enjoy!

It is my pleasure to introduce you to Lizzie Merritt! She is a 20 year military wife and weight loss life coach and I'm thrilled that I had the opportunity to interview her on my podcast. We were able to discuss weight loss as it relates to military life and deployments as well as talk about what makes it hard and what makes it sustainable. One of my favorite nuggets from Lizzie is about being willing to lose weight imperfectly and about finding ways to feel good in order to maintain motivation. Lizzie also has an awesome podcast and a new book all about these topics. I know you are all going to love this episode. Enjoy!

Today we're talking about all things LOVE! Who doesn't love love? If you want to know more about how feeling love works in the model, then you're going to love this episode. We discuss what love is, what love isn't, loveability, unconditional love, our capacity for love, how we can love everyone in the equation including (and especially) ourselves and more! Are you a fan of Gary Chapman's The Five Love Languages books like I am? Well in this episode, I discuss how to apply the cupcake concept to this incredible resource and tool in your tool belt to take it to the next level. I know you are going to LOVE it! Enjoy!

Today we're talking about momentum. Whether it be looking at momentum up close (the momentum of an hour or a specific project or your day) or from far away (the momentum of a week/month/year/season/deployment), leveraging the power momentum can be VERY useful. In this episode we look at the power of positive momentum and using if for our good and the detriment of negative momentum and using it against ourselves and how it can keep up stuck. After listening to this episode you'll be able to understand momentum, get unstuck easily, and finish strong. Enjoy!

In today's episode I am sharing a session with one of my clients who is a military girlfriend. This session took place about a year ago and was one of the first sessions that I ever had with this client. It's so much fun to share this part of her journey with you (with her permission and it was fun for she and I to go back and listen to this and celebrate how far she has come this year. She and her boyfriend (now fiance) recently got engaged and are getting married next year! In this session we talk about her new job, her relationship, trusting herself, boundaries, the cupcake, grace, and so much more. I love to include coaching session s on my podcast every once in awhile so that you can see the magic of coaching and using the model to manage your mind and examine your thoughts. Listen in and enjoy!

Raise your hand if you're a fan of those detective tv shows and movies where the expert detective is able to notice and pay attention to minute and seemingly insignificant details that are actually critical to solving the case 🙋🏼‍♀️ Me too! Did you know that your brain is an expert detective as well and has the same super powers as these detective geniuses in your favorite shows? Listen to this episode and I'll show you how. I also show you how we use these abilities against ourselves and how with a couple of easy tweaks we can start using these super powers for good and to improve the way we experience our lives. Enjoy!

In this episode we are going deep on the first line of the CTFAR model, the Circumstance line. There are a few ways we talk and teach about the circumstance line that are very important, but today I take you even deeper into more intricate nuances of the circumstance line. I do this so that you can get even more out of the model and out of understanding your circumstances and learning to work with them. I know that you'll find this episode beneficial. Enjoy!

I'm thrilled to introduce you to my new friend Marika Humphreys! Here is her bio: Resiliency Coach and recovering perfectionist Marika Humphreys coaches people who have a partner with cancer. Five years as her husband's caregiver and primary emotional support as he battled cancer, Marika knows how challenging and exhausting it can be. She teaches her clients how to calm their mental and emotional turmoil and use this time as an opportunity to grow and become stronger than they thought possible. I know you will love listening to this interview as much as I loved making it. Enjoy!

As a life coach and on this podcast I talk a lot about how we can change the things in our control (our thoughts, attitude, mind set, story) to create more of the life we want to be living. Today I'm talking about another important aspect to thought work and the model which is just making room for your humanness and learning how to feel negative, indulgent, unproductive emotions. When we learn how to do this we learn to stop judging ourselves, stop resisting or running away from these emotions, and the whole experience becomes so much less intense and so much more human. I know you're going to love this episode. Enjoy!

In this episode we are talking about reintegration. The key is to focus on managing your mind and your emotions and giving your partner the space to work through their feelings without adding a lot of extra hurt/drama/pressure/stress by making the way they are behaving mean something about you. You are both going through this reintegration transition and it isn't easy, but when we give our partner the benefit of the doubt and focus on ourselves/our mental health/ our behavior rather than what you think they need to be doing so that you can feel better it goes so much better. There are so many excellent resources available on reintegration and I recommend you seek those out as well. My main message is this is a time that we get easily offended and hurt because we're so excited they are home and whether we want to or not we have expectations that are often not met. The visual I use is whenever you catch your finger pointing out at your partner (he isn't doing this, he won't stop doing this, I cant believe he blank, why won't he blank) then you know you are SUPER focused on him and ignoring you. The truth is that you both need to work through this. So if you're struggling during deployment then some of the problem is with you and some of the problem is with him which means that some of the solution is with you and some of the solution is with him. But if your finger is pointed at him and you are focused on him and his behavior and you are feeling hurt and resentful, then you are trapped in thinking the whole problem is with him and the whole solution is with him. The problem with that is it is not true and it makes us feel very out of control because we can't control him and make him change his behavior and "fix" the problems. I ask my clients to turn the finger around and focus on themselves and what is in their control. What you both need is time and love and space and grace to work through it in whatever ways you do that and that comes from focusing on the parts in your control which is you. Enjoy!

This summer I will be publishing my Summer How To Series which will be a series of mini-episodes addressing some topics that I know are on your mind and my client's minds. These shorter episodes will give you some quick, actionable, and deep tips and insights into things you are are struggling with or working on so that you can start making changes today! In this episode we are addressing the times in our lives when we are feeling heavy, weighed down, and drained. It's interesting to note that whatever we currently believe is making us feel so heavy (for example the responsibilities of motherhood) doesn't always make us feel heavy, it just is right now. This shows us that the thing isn't making us feel heavy, we are making us feel heavy. This is surprisingly great news because if we are the problem then we are the solution to the problem. Tune in to find out specific ways we drain ourselves and how to stop doing it. Enjoy!

This summer I will be publishing my Summer How To Series which will be a series of mini-episodes addressing some topics that I know are on your mind and my client's minds. These shorter episodes will give you some quick, actionable, and deep tips and insights into things you are are struggling with or working on so that you can start making changes today! In this episode we are talking about the super important topic of asking for help. This is a critical element of successful deployments where we are able to thrive instead of merely survive. For many reasons, asking for help can be so challenging. And yet, when we are solo parenting for an extended amount of time, like during a deployment, help is what we need. In this episode we discuss why it's hard to ask and some very specific things you can start doing today to have more success when it comes to asking for help and support. Enjoy!

This summer I will be publishing my Summer How To Series which will be a series of mini-episodes addressing some topics that I know are on your mind and my client's minds. These shorter episodes will give you some quick, actionable, and deep tips and insights into things you are are struggling with or working on so that you can start making changes today! In this episode we are talking about drama, how we create it, how we can decrease it, and how we will benefit in our lives when we do. I give you very specific ways that we create and exactly what you can start doing today to decrease the amount of drama that we are creating in our lives. I don't believe that we are meant to live a drama free life, we are humans and so are all of the people around us. Because of this, there will always be drama and that's ok. However, when we have extra and unnecessary amounts of drama in our lives it can really affect our relationships and our lives. Enjoy!

This summer I will be publishing my Summer How To Series which will be a series of mini-episodes addressing some topics that I know are on your mind and my client's minds. These shorter episodes will give you some quick, actionable, and deep tips and insights into things you are are struggling with or working on so that you can start making changes today! In this episode we are talking about the difference between being physically alone and feeling lonely. Sometimes, these two things go hand in hand, sometimes they do not. Sometimes we enjoy being alone, sometimes we do not. If you have to spend more time alone than you would like (and in the military that is the case), then you will want to listen to this episode. Enjoy!

This summer I will be publishing my Summer How To Series which will be a series of mini-episodes addressing some topics that I know are on your mind and my client's minds. These shorter episodes will give you some quick, actionable, and deep tips and insights into things you are are struggling with or working on so that you can start making changes today! In this episode we are talking about that ever enticing comparison trap. There are actually many ways we fall into this trap and once you understand what they are and why you're doing it, then you're in a perfect position to decrease the amount of time you spend suffering from this problem. Enjoy!

This summer I will be publishing my Summer How To Series which will be a series of mini-episodes addressing some topics that I know are on your mind and my client's minds. These shorter episodes will give you some quick, actionable, and deep tips and insights into things you are are struggling with or working on so that you can start making changes today! In this episode we are talking about flexibility. If you are a planner and struggle with plans changing or people changing...especially with things that are out of your control. In this episode I give you some new visuals and thoughts that help you loosen your grip on things that you are holding on tightly to. Don't worry though, we're not throwing out the plan, just always being ready to make a new one. Enjoy!

This summer I will be publishing my Summer How To Series which will be a series of mini-episodes addressing some topics that I know are on your mind and my client's minds. These shorter episodes will give you some quick, actionable, and deep tips and insights into things you are are struggling with or working on so that you can start making changes today! In this episode we are talking about stress. What it is, why it can be so heavy, and how to decrease it in our lives. As usual I start with how you can start thinking differently when it comes to stress in order to get some leverage in this area. But don't worry, I also talk about what you can do to decrease the stress in your life. You're going to want to listen to this right away if stress is something that you struggle with and you're ready for a change. Enjoy!

This summer I will be publishing my Summer How To Series which will be a series of mini-episodes addressing some topics that I know are on your mind and my client's minds. These shorter episodes will give you some quick, actionable, and deep tips and insights into things you are are struggling with or working on so that you can start making changes today! In this episode we are talking about how to feel more confident. We often mistakenly think that our main source of confidence comes from being good at something. While it can be fun to be naturally talented at things, there are usually lots of areas in our life that we are wanting to have more confidence in and we don't want to wait until we're good at it to feel that confidence. The other part of this is the way you get good at things is by doing them, so we can't wait to be good at it to do it because we won't be good at it until we do it. So basically we have to be willing to try things that we are not good at and this is made so much more enjoyable by creating that awesome feeling of confidence with our thoughts instead of requiring success or approval from others to feel confident. Try it out, I know you'll love it!

This summer I will be publishing my Summer How To Series which will be a series of mini-episodes addressing some topics that I know are on your mind and my client's minds. These shorter episodes will give you some quick, actionable, and deep tips and insights into things you are are struggling with or working on so that you can start making changes today! In this episode we are talking about why we get offended and what we can do to stop getting so offended. I talk about why we get stuck in offense and how we can think in a new way about this topic to feel more empowered. It is so important to realize that we can simultaneously not be ok with something someone does and not be offended.

This summer I will be publishing my Summer How To Series which will be a series of mini-episodes addressing some topics that I know are on your mind and my client's minds. These shorter episodes will give you some quick, actionable, and deep tips and insights into things you are are struggling with or working on so that you can start making changes today! In this episode we are talking about how to have more energy! Energy is what of those things that seems very finite and always running short. I would like to show you how your physical energy (the energy you get from sleeping well and eating well), while super important, is finite and limited, but there's another mega source of energy that is essentially limitless: your mental energy. Mental energy is the energy that you still feel physically in your body that allows you to get tons of stuff done and feel good while you're doing it but it doesn't come from fueling your body, it comes from fueling your brain. Mental energy comes from your thoughts and your mindset and your attitude. Learning to access and increase your mental energy is the way you can increase your capacity and when you're able to do that anything is possible. Enjoy!