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Folks in the hood(speaking to my ninja's) need therapy the most. Just go see somebody. I swear even tho it's a lot of "therapy talk" in this episode, you will laugh your a$$ off. I'm not sure if any of the platforms care if you curse in the description but all the brand-building videos on youtube got me shook. This week comedian, writer, animator Chike Robinson pulls up. I promise ya'll will enjoy the next 45 mins. We talk about the Migos, how to do w/ separating from your homies, selling bootleg CDs. Whatever we were talking about, it was funny as hell. IG: @shutupsimonpod       @hereschikeWatch us on Youtube

Why do the top 3 biracial rappers all have white mommas? Comedian Talent Harris pulls up to answer this question. We also discuss the best way to lie to our future kids in the age of endless information.IG: @talentharrisIG: @shutupsimonpod Twitter: @simonuforrealWatch this episode on Youtube.

DID YOU MISS ME???? It's been a while. R.I.P Paul Mooney. His conviction to not just his truth but the truth is the reason he is so respected and coveted. While I was gone I celebrated my two-year stand-up anniversary.  I thought I would've been touring the world playing blues harmonica by this time. My homie Electra(@electra_telly) pulls up cuz she's been in the game about the same amount of time. She's already famous. If you're in Brooklyn, on Wednesdays and want a place to go that will guarantee you dope ass if stories, come to @stankfacecomedy. Wednesdays at Starr Bar- 214 Starr St. Brooklyn, NY@shutupsimonpod@simonuforreal@electra_telly@stankfacecomedyBig thanks to @byasleon for allowing us to record in their shop. Watch this episode on Youtube.

One time I got mistaken for Pharrell & Bruno Mars in the same day. Okay, maybe not "mistaken for," but I was told I looked like them. They don't even look alike. I thought I was special, but really, I just fit the short light skin, archetype. But that's cool too, both them fools got Grammys. This week my fashion homie @jachukuomotayo pulls up & we dispel the myth of originality. IG:shutupsimonpod & @jachukuomotayoTwitter:simonuforreal Watch us on Youtube

What if somebody told you that they could give you everything you ever wanted? They promised you, that over the course of your lifetime, all of your wildest dreams can come true. All you had to do was shake their hand and maybe work a little harder but that's about it. You agree, and when you go to shake hands with them, their hand is covered in sh-t? We will always get what we want, never how we want it. IG:shutupsimonpodTwitter:simonuforrealWatch on Youtube.

A whole lot of jokes this week, with a pinch of life-altering information. I pulled up on @mattmiggz this week to see what's taking him so long with the best album the world has ever seen. We also revisit the most offensive names from Flavor of Love, & Ray-J's show where he was looking for a hoochie. People forget that's Brandy's brother.We forty episodes in. I love all ya'll musty a$$e$IG: @mattmiggzIG: @shutupsimonpodTwitter: @simonuforrealhttps://youtu.be/4ry8SmY1xY4

"If you can remember how you got where you are now, you can figure out the rest." - SimeezyBruh, I could really start a business making fortune cookies for cajun seafood restaurants. People who enjoy sauteed clam strips appreciate a good anecdote. In this week's episode, I go into the importance of reconnecting with your inner lil' homie. s/o to @amerikanheathenog for the dripIG: @shutupsimonpodTwitter: @simonuforrealhttps://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/shut-up-simon/id1509884062 https://open.spotify.com/show/4bilt5MYhEHNqTxzYSD0R7

My homie @edwards_eli pulls up to give Simon the skinny on how to be Tik Tok famous so I can move to California and live in a lukewarm hot tub. Also, if she asks you to take your shoes off, you already know what's up. Big thanks to @edwards_eliIG:@shutupsimonpodTwitter:simonuforrealWatch us on Youtube.https://youtu.be/8azHzzVmk5Yhttps://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/shut-up-simon/id1509884062https://open.spotify.com/show/4bilt5MYhEHNqTxzYSD0R7

You mad at Michael Jordan, or you mad at basketball?Also, if you ain't from Atlanta, shut yo' a$$ up. IG: @shutupsimonpodTwitter: @simonuforrealWatch on Youtubehttps://youtu.be/DaqjpQ1knsQhttps://open.spotify.com/show/4bilt5MYhEHNqTxzYSD0R7https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/shut-up-simon/id1509884062

This week I give a lesson in cooperation. The first lesson, if you have something to say, that is more than obvious, don't say it. The second lesson, if you have something to say that isn't that obvious, don't say it, yet. IG: @shutupsimonpodTwitter: simonuforrealWatch us on Youtube.

If you're ever in Italy, pack a pair of Jordans. This week I tell ya'll about the time I got chased by Italian Cops, almost got robbed, and was saved by a man with no arms or legs. Shoutout to my sister for being the live(virtual) audience of 1.Somebody hit up "The Moth"Watch Us on Youtube.IG: @shutupsimonpodTwitter: @simonuforreal

This week Simon is dolo. This ain't a TED Talk. Simon keeps it a buck about not wearing a mask in-doors, getting old at 28, & slapping anybody that questions the GOATness of Cee-Lo Green.  IG: @shutsimonpod Twitter: @simonuforreal Watch us on 

Comedian Reg Thomas pulls up to the stu for a very entertaining and even more insightful conversation. Now if you not familiar w/ my boy Reg Thomas, you really lame as hell. He's been seen him on Buzzfeed, Complex, Comedy Central, the brother toured with Insecure's own, Amanda Seales.He hosts a bicoastal stand-up comedy show called, "Productively Stoned," with the hilarious Jordan Rock. We got drunk, we talked more sh*t like two old heads in a barbershop.  We cracked jokes, & dropped more gems than a one-armed jewel thief. Who got a bigger bag, Russell Wilson or Future?Is requiring your writing staff to be all black racist? Is the reign of Wyclef Jean over? If you at work, put your headphones in, if you at your baby momma's turn it up. The conversation is raw and unapologetic. Watch us on Youtube.IG: @regthomas       @shutupsimonpodTwitter: @regthomas                   @simonuforreal

Expectations are a proven mood killer. Any & every mood will be made worse by expecting anything. If you want to experience any sort of joy & happiness, don't expect a goddamn thing. Check out Simon's newly bald head on Youtube. IG: @shutupsimonpodTwitter: @simonuforrealIf you'd like to sell something on the podcast, hit me up. @humansbeingcomedy@gmail.com

Simon cut his locs off after 3 years of his hair doing its' thing. Is he depressed? Whatever the case, nobody really cares.  Welcome to Season 2. Go watch us on Youtube hereIG: @shutupsimonpodTwitter: @simonuforrealhttps://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/shut-up-simon/id1509884062#episodeGuid=Buzzsprout-7643554https://open.spotify.com/show/4bilt5MYhEHNqTxzYSD0R7

Simon returns for Season 2, January 25th, 2021. Having expectations for anything is stupid, inclusion is destructive, and the pursuit of happiness only ends in the opposite.This season Simon playfully and critically discusses the hypocrisy and contradictions in our everyday lives.  @shutupsimonpodWatch us on youtube.

Congratulations. We made it. Despite the BS, we're here. Let's hug & kiss cuz we're gonna need all the love we can get in this year coming up. Happy New Year - Simon U.@shutupsimonpod@simonuforrealhttps://www.simonubryant.com/watch on Youtube here

Today is the day.  12/21/2020.If you black, it's our day of transcendence into our new native land, I'm going to assume is Wakanda. Maybe this why we haven't gotten reparations, b/c they knew this entire thing was going down. Maybe. Maybe not. In Other News: Don't discount your own experience and lose yourself in the lessons learned from the experience of others. - Ya Boi. Also, Happy Crimuh.Watch us on youtube.https://linktr.ee/simonufunny

Black people can thank racism for being excluded from the opioid crisis. & What TF is happening to us on December 21st?For the past several weeks, every episode has just been me & you. Sex therapists says2 in order for any relationship to work, the parties involved have to keep the loving spicy & interesting. So that's what I did this week. I made it spicy and interesting. I invited business homie and fellow zoo enthusiasts to the show to shed some insight on a number of things. Rony has owned a number of successful businesses, so he might know a lil' something. @r_b_j_@shutupsimonpodWatch us on youtube.

If you pull up on a punk bitch with cold, hard, cash money, the only credit you need is your name mentioned when the punk bitch tells the story about the G that pulled up & dumped 50K on his head. This week, join Simon for this rare financial discussion about how credit will have you going out sad for real. @shutupsimonpodWatch us on youtube.https://linktr.ee/simonufunny