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63 minutes | Jun 27, 2022
2 Years of Sextras & Your Confessions
This episode is our last of the season, so we talk about what we have learnt about relationships this season, our favourite and least favourite moments and answer all of the submissions from our listeners that we have stacked up over the past few months. We begin by giving a run down of the season- which moments stood out to us, what we’ve learnt, how we’ve changed, and spill some tea about the behind the scenes of the podcast. We point you guys in the direction of certain episodes should you be looking for advice on particular topics. Then, we move on to your stories and questions to end up the season. We’re so thankful to all of you who have contributed to the season in some way, and we’d love to do more episodes in season 3 that are made up of only your submissions. This episode includes questions about one night stands, the contradiction of the Kardashians promoting body positivity, whether it’s normal to masturbate to other men when you identify as straight, tips on getting back out there and blowjob tips. We hope you guys have enjoyed this season and learnt as much about relationships, sex, and yourself as we have! If you have, please keep following along and supporting as much as you can. We put in so much work, and so if you have listened to even one episode it would be so great if you could subscribe and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts, and if you can share with your friends or on social media. Thanks to our sponsor for this episode, The Natural Love Company, who make sustainable, vegan and cruelty free sex toys and lube. If you’re listening before June 30th you can enter our giveaway to win a vibrator and lube via this quiz (hint- the answers are all somewhere on our Instagram) https://8tmk3gtuaxi.typeform.com/to/OGxWQmIJ. Otherwise, you can use the code SEXTRAS to get 15% off at www.thenaturallovecompany.com. Don’t forget to follow us on Instagram, Facebook and TikTok @sextraspodcast, find us on YouTube at Sextras Podcast, our website www.sextraspodcast.com or email us at email@example.com. Even though we’re on a season break, we’ll be updating our social media and you can keep getting in touch with us and submitting your stories on there or anonymously on our website. Have an amazing summer and we’ll see you next season! Produced by Mable Productions Original music by Sacha Puttnam See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
60 minutes | Jun 20, 2022
Talking With My Mum (Pt.2)
We’re finally back with part 2 of season 1’s episode ‘Talking To My Mum,’ where we spoke to Honey’s mum. This week, we’re joined by Maria’s mum, Maria, to hear all about being a mum of four and moving from Mexico to London. We begin the episode by hearing about Maria’s upbringing in Mexico and what sex education in Mexico is like. She tells us about how sex wasn’t even spoken about when she was growing up and how this influenced how she wanted to talk to her own kids about sex and relationships. Then, we move on to discussing what it was like to raise children first in Mexico and then move to the UK, and the cultural differences between the two. Maria tells us about the expectations of being a mum in Mexico and how she was able to explore herself as a person more in the UK, plus the differences in talking about sex and relationships in the UK versus in Mexico. We hear about what Maria told her children about relationships and sex when they were younger and what she’s learnt about herself and relationships throughout the years, ending with some advice Maria has for us and for other young people that she wishes she’d known at our age. We hope you enjoy, it was such a pleasure to be joined by Maria. Please leave us a review as we approach the end of the season, and stay tuned for some very exciting announcements coming in the next week on our social media— Instagram, Facebook and TikTok @sextraspodcast, on our website www.sextraspodcast.com and feel free to get in touch with us with any stories or questions for our last episode via email firstname.lastname@example.org. To celebrate 2 years of the podcast we’re having a picnic on 25th June in Hyde Park from 1pm onwards, we’d love if you joined us! Check out our social media for more info. See you next week! Produced by Mable Productions Original music by Sacha Puttnam See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
68 minutes | Jun 13, 2022
Are Gen Z Having Less Sex? With Dr Aditi Paul
In this week’s episode we talk to the wonderful Dr Aditi Paul about her research on Gen Z hookup and dating culture. Her book The Current Collegiate Hookup Culture is out now, so please request that your local library or institution purchase it! We begin the episode by hearing about Aditi’s interest in dating and hookup trends, which inspired her to begin her research on this topic. Aditi is a professor at Pace University, so we ask her if she and her colleagues have assumptions about how gen z date and have sex at uni, and if that was really accurate to what she discovered in her research. We hear how gen z use dating apps, and if they really all have sneaky links, if they’re anti-relationship, and how often they’re hooking up with people and with who. Aditi tells us whether sex lives of college students really have changed from previous generations, and what new terms there are to describe sex and hookup culture. Aditi also goes into safety and sex, such as how alcohol impacts the decisions students are making when it comes to sex, and if they practice protected sex. We love that Aditi’s research focuses on people of colour, different genders and sexualities, and so we were of course interested to hear how sex changes amongst different groups, like whether the LGBT community use dating apps more or less than the straight community and how much sex people of colour are having in relation to stereotypes that negatively impact how they are perceived. We hope you guys enjoy the episode, thank you so much to Aditi for this informative and fun chat! Please request for your institution to purchase her book, and go find out more about her work and her on her website http://www.draditipaul.com/, and her social media @aditipaul & @iamaditipaul. As always you can find more of us on our website www.sextraspodcast.com, and Instagram, Facebook, TikTok and Reddit @sextraspodcast. Don’t forget to check out our sponsors, too, it really really helps us out! Get 20% off + Free Shipping at Manscaped.com with code SEXTRAS20. Get 10% off sustainable and beautiful sex toys at www.thenaturallovecompany.com with code SEXTRAS. See you next week! Produced by Mable Productions Original music by Sacha Puttnam See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
59 minutes | Jun 6, 2022
Talking to My Ex Girlfriend
In this week’s episode we’re talking with Honey’s ex girlfriend, Neha, all about their relationship and break up. We begin the episode by hearing about both sides of the relationship, from how they met to how the relationship progressively got worse and eventually how they broke up. If you’ve been listening to the podcast for a while, you’ll know that Honey has spoken about how her first relationship was quite toxic, and so we break down exactly what that looked like in a young queer relationship, and how that has affected them going forward. We reminisce on the importance of having a queer community when you’re younger, and how there’s not much of a model for relationships so they can often get messy. We hear how their mental health impacted the relationship, and how this meant they triggered each other whilst dating, and warn against the dangers of codependency in a relationship. Maria also gives her perspective on the relationship from the outside, though she was very much involved at the time, and how it seemed to disintegrate. We also cover how the break up eventually happened- they did break up and get back together several times- and the difficulties that came along with seeing your ex every day when you go to the same school. Lastly, we cover how they went from exes to friends, and the progression of making up after a break up and realising what you’ve done wrong and what you’ve learnt from a relationship. Listen in to hear us cover all sorts of things, from staying friends with an ex, to coming out as queer, to toxic relationships and different sides of the same break up. We hope you enjoy the episode, we really enjoyed recording with Neha and we hope you’re inspired to have a similar conversation with your ex, should it be right for your situation! Go follow Neha on Instagram @nehaclimbs, and you can find us @sextraspodcast on Instagram, Facebook & TikTok, our website www.sextraspodcast.com, or email us at email@example.com. Thanks to Manscaped for sponsoring Sextras. Get 20% Off + Free Shipping at Manscaped.com with promo code SEXTRAS20. Please leave us a rating wherever you’re listening or watching and we look forward to seeing you next week! Produced by Mable Productions Original music by Sacha Puttnam See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
55 minutes | May 30, 2022
Should Love Be Difficult? Love Languages & Expectations
When it comes to love, there are some people that believe love should be difficult, and some that it should be easy. In this week’s episode we attempt to answer if love should be easy or hard, discussing how to communicate your expectations and how to show love to your partner depending on their love language. We begin the episode with a segment where we ask our listeners if they think love should be hard, as well as hearing some things they are willing to compromise and things they are absolutely not, as well as what expectations they know they need to have met in a relationship. We then get into our thoughts on expectations in relationships. We discuss the narrative that’s sold to us in movies about romantic love and if it’s possible to meet someone who miraculously meets all of your expectations and knows how to show you love. We stress the importance of communication and talk about love languages, and if your partner can know and act on your love language without having to ask what it is. Sometimes we don’t have the capacity to show people love in the way their love language requires, and so we talk about what you should do if you have unfulfilled expectations in relationships, and what normal expectations in relationships are. Ultimately, we believe that your main love language is something you should expect to have met in your relationship. It can be difficult to know whether you have too high expectations in relationships, but that is there is always at least one thing that you need from your partner in order to feel loved, and it’s reasonable to expect that they fulfil that for you! We often make excuses for our partners when it comes to things we’d like them to do but that they won’t, but we want to discuss if love should be hard work and what our limit is when it comes to not having certain needs met in relationships, and when you should walk away. There is a myth that relationships are hard work, and they can definitely be worth this work, however you shouldn’t put up with not feeling loved or as if your partner isn’t making effort, because you can always find someone who is willing to make that effort to fulfil the things you need! We love you, and we hope you can all recognise that you are worthy of receiving love in ways that truly make you feel loved. If someone makes you feel like loving you is a chore it could be time to reconsider the relationships and whether you can find someone who can make you feel a little more loved. We hope you enjoy the episode, if you do please leave us a review and subscribe! You can find us on Instagram, Facebook & TikTok @sextraspodcast, email us at firstname.lastname@example.org or visit our website www.sextraspodcast.com. Mentions in this episode include “The Distribution of Chapman’s Love Languages in Couples: An Exploratory Cluster Analysis” (Bland & McQueen, 2018), which you can find here: https://www.millersville.edu/psychology/files/bland/bland-lovelanguages.pdf. To find out your love language, do a quiz such as this one: https://www.5lovelanguages.com/quizzes/love-language. Thanks to Manscaped for sponsoring Sextras. Get 20% Off + Free Shipping at Manscaped.com with promo code SEXTRAS20. We’ll see you next week! Produced by Mable Productions Original music by Sacha Puttnam See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
55 minutes | May 23, 2022
How Friendships Change
Unfortunately (or fortunately, depending on how you look at it) it is a fact of life that most friendships change over time. This week we want to talk about just that, and our experience with how friendships change in your 20s. We begin the episode with a segment where we ask you guys if you feel like your friendships have changed, and if so how. Then we did a poll asking what is worse— a friend break up or drifting apart— and if you’ve made any new friends recently. Though some friendships will never die, it is an inevitable fact of life that as we as individuals grow and evolve, so too will our friendships, and sometimes this comes at the cost of certain friendships, and sometimes this means that you grow and evolve with your friends. No matter what, friendships are very important relationships in our lives and so when a friendship ends it can be sad and confusing, leaving you feeling lonely or as if there’s something wrong with you. This can even be the case when friendships change, and we really wanted to acknowledge the complexities of friendships, which don’t have the same set of rules and expectations as our romantic relationships. We talk about how our friendships have changed over our lives, from how they’ve changed since college. We explain how when we notice friendships have changed we might feel a certain kind of way, but not necessarily because we blame anyone or because it’s anyone’s fault, but more because we worry what this says about ourselves and what it means for the future of our friendships. But friendship is malleable! Friends challenge each other, and grow together, and it would be boring if they stayed the same throughout our lives. We need to give each other the room to grow, and if that means we have our own things going on, and even eventually growing apart, then that’s okay. Friendships change! We need to learn to live with it. We hope we encourage you to reflect a little bit on how your own friendships have changed, and whether that really says anything about you, or if it’s an inevitable part of life. All this to say, treasure your friends, and put the work into your friendships that you want to be reciprocated. Like any relationship, friendships need tending. We hope you enjoy the episode. If so, please give us a follow over on our social media, we have a few exciting announcements coming up that you won’t want to miss! Find us on Instagram, TikTok and Facebook at Sextras Podcast, send us an email at email@example.com, or visit our website www.sextraspodcast.com. We can’t wait to see you next week! Produced by Mable Productions Original music by Sacha Puttnam See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
56 minutes | May 16, 2022
Sexting, Nudes & FaceTime Sex
Trigger warning: mention of SA at the end of the episode. This week we’re talking about all things sex + phone related: from sexting, taking and sending nudes and having facetime or phone sex. We begin the episode with a segment where we ask you what the best sext or nude you’ve sent or received is, and your tips for taking nudes and sexting. Then, we move on to discussing our own experiences with taking nudes and sexting, and if we enjoy doing them. Honey gives us some facetime sex tips, and we explain why phone sex is good for long distance relationships. Maria gives us some tips for taking nudes, from poses to lighting, and we discuss some of the dangers of sexting, taking nudes and facetime sex. Though it’s not something we should feel ashamed of, or should have to even think about when it comes to partaking in these activities, sadly there are people out there who will betray your trust and share explicit photos with others, and we need to do our best to break the stigma around taking naked photos (because let’s be honest-everyone’s done it!) and having them leaked. The person doing the leaking is the one who should be shamed, rather than the subject of the photos, but we want you guys to protect yourselves no matter what and never feel pressured into sending nudes or making a sex tape, or anything when it comes to sex! You should take nudes for yourself, and only if you really want to. Never do it for someone when you’re getting nothing out of it, and we do think there is good to come out of taking nudes, like making you feel more confident and sexy in your own body- and who doesn’t want that?! We hope you guys enjoy this sexy episode, and you feel inspired to take some good nudes for yourself. To find more in future about sexting and nude taking tips, follow us on TikTok, Instagram, YouTube, and Facebook at Sextras Podcast. Send us an email if you have any experiences or tips you’d like to share at firstname.lastname@example.org, or find us through our website www.sextraspodcast.com. See you next week! Produced by Mable Productions Original music by Sacha Puttnam See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
54 minutes | May 9, 2022
How To Give Relationship Advice To A Friend
This week we’re discussing whether other people’s relationships are your business. Though it can be helpful to get relationship advice, sometimes people offer unsolicited relationship advice when you feel as though it’s none of their business, so we break down when it’s acceptable to give relationship advice, who it’s acceptable to do it with and the reasons why you might comment on someone else’s relationship. We begin the episode with a segment where we ask you whether you think it’s appropriate for other people to comment on your relationship. We then hear what the most helpful, and unhelpful, relationship advice you’ve received is, and a little bit more about when you guys think it’s acceptable for you to comment on someone’s relationship, or for them to comment on yours. We then move on to the who, what, when and why of it all. We being by asking who can give relationship advice? We ponder whether certain friends can, and if it’s okay for random family members to give you advice, before discussing when and why you should give relationship advice- for example if someone asks for help or asks for your specific take on a situation, or if it’s alright to always have an opinion on your friends partners. We tell you about our own experiences offering each other advice, or what we think is helpful advice, and how to set boundaries when your friends and family are providing you with unhelpful commentary on your relationship. Finally, we discuss if you think your friend is in an unhealthy relationship, and how to deal with that by offering them your stance and trying to help them see the situation as it really is. We hope you enjoy the episode, that you seek relationship advice whenever you truly need it, and that you don’t receive any advice that makes you feel worse about your relationship than you need to! Don’t forget to follow us on Instagram, TikTok and Facebook at Sextras Podcast, and you can send us an email at email@example.com, or an anonymous submission on our website www.sextraspodcast.com. You can also watch the podcast on YouTube, where all the episodes are categorised so if you’re looking for an episode on a specific topic you’ll know where to find it! Produced by Mable Productions Original music by Sacha Puttnam See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
42 minutes | May 2, 2022
Life After Uni: Maintaining Relationships, Moving Out & Travelling
Life after graduating uni is very confusing— for the first time in your life, you might not know what you’re going to be doing with your life for the foreseeable future. It can be easy to feel lost after university- the uncertainty of where you’re going to be living, your friendships, and your relationships can really get you down, and so this week we’re talking all about it. It’s been a year since we graduated uni, so we thought we’d have a little catch up. We tell you guys about Maria’s long distance relationship after uni, and our living situations. Both of us moved home after uni, so we discuss how to decide when you should move out, if you should move in with friends in your 20s or if it’s ok to live with a partner, or at least plan to live with a partner. Honey tells us about her recent trip to the US and how it really helped with her independence, and the difficulty of finding a job after uni. We also cover friendships after uni, and the trials and tribulations of trying to maintain them when, probably for the first time in your life, you’re all in very different phases, living in different places, and with different goals. We really want to do an episode about making and maintaining friends after uni, so if you or anyone you know has a relevant story or some tips, please send them our way! You can find more of us on Instagram, Facebook and TikTok at Sextras Podcast. Watch the podcast on YouTube, and subscribe there or wherever you get your podcasts, and send us an email at firstname.lastname@example.org, or an anonymous confession on our website www.sextraspodcast.com! Produced by Mable Productions Original music by Sacha Puttnam See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
50 minutes | Apr 25, 2022
Is Cheating Forgivable?
This week we’re talking about something that isn’t particularly pleasant for anyone to talk about, but something that definitely needs to be acknowledged when discussing sex and relationships: cheating. We begin the episode with a segment where we hear from you guys about whether you’ve ever been cheated on, or ever cheated on anybody, and if so what happened, to understand a little bit more of how many people have experienced cheating and how it affects relationships. We also ask if people would break up with someone because of cheating, to which 92% of people said they would. We then move on to discussing our own experiences with cheating, and Maria tells us the story of when she cheated on her boyfriend, how that affected her mental health and how she told him she had cheated, as well as the aftermath. Though we don’t want to sympathise with cheaters, we think it’s important to tell how cheating affects the cheater as well as the person who was cheated on. We explore some hypothetical cheating situations, and attempt to understand how we’d react to them, but ultimately decide it is difficult to say unless you’re in the moment. Lastly, we talk about what counts as cheating, and how to set those boundaries with a partner from the beginning, so that you know if they consider online cheating as cheating, or if they consider microcheating something worthy of breaking up over. We hope you enjoy the episode, if it was helpful to you in some way please leave us a rating on Apple Podcasts. You can reach out to us or find more of us on our website www.sextraspodcast.com, on Instagram, Facebook & TikTok @sextraspodcast, email us at email@example.com, and support us by making a purchase from the sponsor of this video, Manscaped! Have an amazing week and we’ll see you next Tuesday <3 Produced by Mable Productions Original music by Sacha Puttnam See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
44 minutes | Apr 18, 2022
Social Media, Relationships & Mental Health
Get 20% Off and Free Shipping with the code SEXTRAS20 at Manscaped.com. It’s time to throw out your old hygiene habits and upgrade your life! This week we’re talking all about social media— the good and the bad, and particularly how it affects our relationships with ourselves and our most important relationship- ourselves! We begin the episode with a segment where we hear from your guys’ feelings about social media, including whether you like it overall and what you hate the most about it. Mostly, people seem to hate that social media is often a facade, or a presentation of the best parts of our lives, so we talk about how that aspect of social media can be extremely damaging to our mental health and our self esteem. We then move on to discussing social media and relationships, attempting to answer the questions that are most often asked when it comes to dating and social media, such as if your partner should post you on their social media, and if so when, and if they’re not what it means. We also discuss the different ways couples showcase their relationships on different social media apps, and express why we prefer TikTok as a platform because of its video format. Then, we tell you guys a bit about our personal social media consumption and how it affects our mental health, and attempt to give some tips for how to use social media, or at least how to manage your outlook when constantly taking in hundreds of peoples’ lives in order to stay grounded in your own. Social media definitely has its dangers and disadvantages, but if you’re smart about your outlook on it and don’t place an extreme amount of importance on it, you might save your mental health and get a bit of entertainment along the way, too. Don’t forget to subscribe and share the podcast with a friend, it really helps us out! You can also help us out by using code SEXTRAS20 at Manscaped.com to get 20% off + Free Shipping! Please do feel free to contact us on our website www.sextraspodcast.com, email us at firstname.lastname@example.org, and follow us on social media (Instagram and Facebook) at Sextras Podcast! — WE ARE LOOKING FOR SUBMISSIONS FOR A BONUS EPISODE, PLEASE SEND US YOUR SEX/ DATING/ CONFIDENCE STORIES AND QUESTIONS AT ANYWHERE ABOVE, OR EVEN ASK US QUESTIONS ABOUT OURSELVES AND HOSTING A PODCAST! — Produced by Mable Productions Original music by Sacha Puttnam See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
49 minutes | Apr 11, 2022
Finding The Best Type of Contraception for Me
Get 20% Off and Free Shipping with the code SEXTRAS20 at Manscaped.com. It’s time to throw out your old hygiene habits and upgrade your life! This week we’re talking all things contraception! We begin the episode with a segment where we hear whether you guys are contraception, and if so if you use hormonal contraception or non hormonal/ barrier methods of contraception. We then move on to discussing our own experiences with contraception to show the different ways the same form of contraception can affect everyone differently. We talk through the different forms of contraception that are available and give our opinions on which ones have been best for us (disclaimer: we are not medical professionals!) and how we’ve decided what works for us. We wish you all the best with finding the best contraception for you, should you want to use it, but please do not use the pull out/ withdrawal/ rhythm method because it is simply not effective. Don’t forget to share the podcast with a friend, leave us a review, and you can find more of us on Instagram and Facebook @sextraspodcast, watch the podcast on YouTube at Sextras Podcast, visit our website www.sextraspodcast.com or email us at email@example.com. Produced by Mable Production Original music by Sacha Puttnam See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
58 minutes | Apr 4, 2022
Sex Worker Rights Are Human Rights with Chanelle Gallant
Get 20% Off and Free Shipping with the code SEXTRAS20 at Manscaped.com. It’s time to throw out your old hygiene habits and upgrade your life! #ad #manscapedpod In this week’s episode we are joined by lovely guest Chanelle Gallant, who has been a sex worker rights activist for 20 years. We begin the episode by hearing how Chanelle got into sex work activism, and why sex work activism is so important, not just for sex workers but for wider society too (hint— sex workers rights are basic human rights!) We get deep into why sex work organising is so important, and how it is a truly feminist space that is more intersectional than any other. Chanelle tells us of the optimism she has for grassroots organising, and how everyone can get involved in sex work activism. We then move on to what sex work means to sex workers, and how the money it provides them with often gets them out of situations that the government wouldn’t. Chanelle explains how the very criminalisation of sex work creates unnecessary stigma around sex acts that doesn’t exist when it’s unpaid, and how that stigma is fed by larger systems of oppression at work. Chanelle tells us how sex is often a form of unpaid work that people perform as a service to men, and we theorise what sex worker rights would look like if rich white men were doing it. We then get into the policing of sex workers, from the physical use of police forces during ‘anti-trafficking raids’ to the more subtle ways state power restricts sex workers’ rights. We touch briefly on OnlyFans, and how the activism and organisation surrounding the platform was largely focused on white and cisgender sex workers, and Chanelle explains how the same level of organisation can, and should, be easily applied to all sex workers, regardless of gender, race, and citizen status. We end the episode by discussing whether sex itself can be liberating, and whether our sexuality defines us (essentially— can we fuck ourselves to freedom?). We really hope you enjoy this episode, we’ve been really looking forward to you guys being able to hear it and to meeting Chanelle! Please sign up for Chanelle’s newsletter to hear more about the work that she does (www.chanellegallant.com), and go find your local or national sex worker rights organisation to fight for the decriminalisation and protection of sex workers, which you can do on https://nswp.org/. We would also highly recommend you read 'Pleasure Activism' (particularly Chanelle's chapter!) and check out Chanelle's 'Protest and Pleasure' series here: https://xtramagazine.com/series/protest-and-pleasure. As always you can find more of us or reach out to us with any questions/ stories/ comments on Instagram and Facebook @sextraspodcast, email us on firstname.lastname@example.org & find all our episodes and resources on our website www.sextraspodcast.com. Don’t forger to subscribe and leave us a review, and we’ll see you next week! Produced by Mable Productions Original music by Sacha Puttnam See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
50 minutes | Mar 28, 2022
Is My Attraction Normal?
In this episode we talk about attraction and the way we experience it. There are different types of attraction, and different people experience attraction differently, so discuss why that might be and how we’ve reacted to our attraction. To start, we asked how our listeners in a poll, ‘How are you attracted to people? Do you ten to like people straight away and develop crushes easily, or do you have to get to know someone first for that attraction to grow?’ Our followers were split down the middle, just like us. Some shared some of their attraction confusion, ‘if I get to know them its bad because I can make them a friend and that completely puts me off’, whilst some others thought that having a friendship that grows into attraction is most natural to them. We then begin to map out the way we experience attraction. Honey describes her first relationship and how shared experiences and friendship grew into attraction, and how in her second relationship the attraction was also somewhat of a slow burner. In times when she’s been single, she barely experiences random attraction at all, unless confronted with it. Maria shares the opposite, she’s always crushing on someone, chasing someone, or with someone. (Classic anxious attachment) We discuss how the way we experience attraction has impacted the way we approach making romantic or sexual connections. Maria is more active in her attraction, whilst Honey usually lets people come to her. (Probably because of our attachment styles) But that isn’t to say that we only experience one type of attraction and that’s that: we all make all kinds of connections with all kinds of people and sometimes that attraction could be physical attraction, or sexual attraction, whereas others it might be emotional attraction or romantic attraction. We hope you are feeling attracted to our episode the episode! ;) You can watch this episode on our YouTube (Sextras Podcast) and find us on Instagram and Facebook @sextraspodcast, our website www.sextraspodcast.com or send us an email at email@example.com Please don’t forget to leave us a review and share us with all your friends! We’ll see you next Tuesday. Produced by Mable Productions Original music by Sacha Puttnam See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
64 minutes | Mar 22, 2022
Why Learn Your Attachment Style?
In this episode we talk all about attachment styles from how to know your attachment style, to how attachment styles effect relationships, to some tips to change your attachment style. Obviously we are not experts, but we do know a fair bit about attachment styles from our own experience (plus we’ve done a lotttt of research). We begin the episode by breaking down insecure attachment styles: Maria tells us about what an anxious attachment style is, and Honey tells us about what an avoidant attachment style is (hint: those are each of their attachment styles).We also cover the other two attachment styles: fearful avoidant and secure, before moving on to how these symptoms have manifested for us. We attempt to give some tips for healing insecure attachment styles, which includes at the very least recognising the symptoms of your attachment style and trying to unlearn your triggers over time. Then, in case we hadn’t already convinced you just how important knowing your attachment style is, we explain how knowing our attachment styles have helped us. We end the episode with some polls we did a while ago where we asked you guys whether you know your attachment style (we’d be surprised if, after listening to at least one other episode of our podcast, you didn’t) and if it’s helped you in any way. Even though it can, at first, be overwhelming to learn your attachment style (one friend told us recently that she felt attacked after an attachment style quiz which ‘read her to filth’) it’s definitely important to understand how it can affect the way you form attachments with people, and even impact who you choose as a partner in future! We hope you enjoy the episode, we have plenty more information on our social media about attachment styles. You can do the test for attachment style mentioned in the episode here: https://attachment.personaldevelopmentschool.com/ May we all become securely attached! You can find more of us on Instagram and Facebook @sextraspodcast, email us at firstname.lastname@example.org and visit our website www.sextraspodcast.com Produced by Mable Productions Original music by Sacha Puttnam See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
54 minutes | Mar 15, 2022
Body Hair Is Normal
From before puberty, before we grow our first armpit hair, leg hair, pubic hair, women are raised to understand that this should all be removed. This week we sit down to question why, to point to the ways in which we’ve been taught to have shame about our bodies and its hair, and really examine the ways in which these messages of control have impacted us. We begin by hearing some of the messages our listeners heard about pubes and body hair growing up, (essentially to ‘shave’, that the hair is ‘bad and should be removed’ and that men don’t find it sexy). Some listeners even shared the ways in which these messages impacted them: causing them to question whether their body hair and pubes are bad, or desperately google how to clean shave ‘down there’, and live with razor burns and irritation and thus even more insecurities. We then get more into our own experiences and memories of getting body hair. Maria shares how shaving was engrained as an expectation, and how she was shamed by male figures specifically if there was any body hair showing. We discuss how its interesting that now we can look at shaving as an option when a lot of the time it doesn’t really feel like a choice. We continue to question society’s messages about shaving and ask whether it’s okay for a partner to express a preference on their partner’s pubic hair grooming, and whether it’s okay to ask your girlfriend to shave her pubes. Ultimately we conclude that it’s not, but pubes politics are complicated, as Maria hypocritically confesses she shaves for her boyfriend even though she doesn’t like shaving. Patriarchy 1, Maria 0. We update everyone on our pube status (share how we personally groom our pubes) and we encourage you to share your pube status with us! We hope you enjoy the episode! You can watch this episode on our YouTube (Sextras Podcast) and find us on Instagram and Facebook @sextraspodcast, our website www.sextraspodcast.com or send us an email at email@example.com Please don’t forget to leave us a review and share us with all your friends! We’ll see you next Tuesday. Produced by Mable Productions Original music by Sacha Puttnam See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
60 minutes | Mar 8, 2022
Taking It Day By Day For 11 Years Together (with Dee)
This week we’re talking to Dee about long term relationships. We went to school with Dee, and she’s been with her boyfriend for 11 years (since she was 15) so we ask her about the ins and outs of being in a long term relationship when young. We begin by hearing how she and her boyfriend met, or how they began dating, and later how Dee realised that she was in love and in it for the long run. We then ask about the pressures of being in a long term relationship in your teenage years and early 20s, from dating long distance at university to seeing lots of couples around you break up, to the expectations from your peers to sleep around. Dee tells us what those milestones have looked like for her relationship in the long run, and how she’s responded to the pressures of her friends and family. She then tells a crazy story about how they once nearly broke up over chlamydia. Naturally, both Dee and her boyfriend have changed over the course of time, so we hear how this has impacted their relationship and how they’ve managed to maintain their independence while also making time for one another. Lastly, we discuss the importance of sex in their relationship, before hearing some of Dee’s tips for a long term relationship. Ultimately, Dee tells us that the success to their long lasting relationship has been to take it day by day. We hope you enjoy the episode! You can watch this episode on our YouTube (Sextras Podcast) and find us on Instagram and Facebook @sextraspodcast, our website www.sextraspodcast.com or send us an email at firstname.lastname@example.org Please don’t forget to leave us a review and share us with all your friends! We’ll see you next Tuesday. Produced by Mable Productions Original music by Sacha Puttnam See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
58 minutes | Mar 1, 2022
Fingers, Hands, Mouths and Tongues
In this episode we get deep into developing a philosophy for fingering and handjobs. We attempt to unpack whether handjobs are something any penis-owning person enjoys, or thinks someone else can do better than them, and try to understand their place in sex as a whole. We begin with some polls where we ask people with penises about their handjob preferences and people with vulvas about their fingering preferences (namely whether they prefer clitoral or penetrative fingering). Then, we move on to the different roles fingering and handjobs play in sex, and debate which is harder (ha) skill-wise for people to do. Finally, we give some tips for fingering and handjobs and foreplay as a whole. We hope you enjoy this episode, we think it gives a rather accurate insight into what is going on in our brains, and attempting to establish an understanding of what penis-owning people are thinking. You can find more of us on Instagram and Facebook @sextraspodcast, email us at email@example.com or visit our website www.sextraspodcast.com. Don’t forget to subscribe so you never miss an episode and leave us a review! It really helps us out. We’ll see you next Tuesday! Produced by Mable Productions Original music by Sacha Puttnam See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
60 minutes | Feb 22, 2022
Break Up Lessons Learnt
This week we’re talking all about the lessons learnt from breakups. When you’re going through a break up it can seem like it will never end, and you’ll most likely be in a place of thinking this is the most pain you’ve ever been in, but we promise once you get through that stage (and it will end!) you’ll be able to see all the things you learnt in both the relationship and the break up. We also cover what we think should happen in the aftermath of the break up, from whether you should follow the no contact rule, to if the person who breaks up with you owes you an apology. We begin the episode with a segment where we hear the lessons you guys have learnt from a breakup, before telling you our own lessons. We try to explain how our experiences have been very different: Honey has exclusively broken up with people, and Maria has exclusively been broken up with, so we divulge the different ways we have reflected on the relationship after a break up, as well as attempting to unpack how we move through stages of grief in a breakup, like blaming the other person and then thinking you’ve made a mistake; trying to cling on to them and not wanting to move on. We then discuss the conversations you have, and what not to do after a break up— such as whether or not to text your ex or if you should stay friends with an ex. We have a couple of other episodes about break ups— ‘Can You Be Friends With An Ex?’ & ‘The Break Up Process’— where we get more into these topics, but we wanted to talk a bit more about the idea of what is owed, or what some people think is owed to them, when one person ends the relationship, the idea of blame and self reflection in attempts to learn something about yourself after a relationship ends. We hope you enjoyed the episode! If you’re going through a break up, you can do this! You’ll eventually reach a stage of realising there is so much to take from a relationship, and we hope some of our tips help. If you’d like to get in contact with us or find more of us, you can find us on: Instagram and Facebook @sextraspodcast Email: firstname.lastname@example.org www.sextraspodcast.com We’ll see you next Tuesday! Produced by Mable Productions Original music by Sacha Puttnam See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
66 minutes | Feb 15, 2022
Non- Monogamy, Toxic Relationships & Jealousy with Rachel Krantz
This week we’re joined by journalist, and author of the memoir ‘Open,’ Rachel Krantz to talk all about open relationships, toxic relationships, bisexuality and jealousy. We begin the episode by hearing what inspired Rachel’s book— she was dating a non monogamous man, who gave her the freedom to explore an open relationship and who her relationship with later became toxic. We then move on to learning about the different types of open relationship- from having a primary partner to practicing relationship anarchy. Rachel tells us about how she dealt with jealousy in her first non monogamous relationship, as well as giving us some tips for how to start a non monogamous relationship if you’re new to the world of polyamory, and some things monogamous people can take from polyamorous relationships even if they’re not looking to get into one. We end the episode with asking Rachel about her bisexuality and how that interacts with her polyamory. Thank you so much to Rachel for joining us this week, we had a truly informative conversation and we hope you all enjoy it too! Please buy Rachel’s book ‘Open’ and go follow her on Instagram or Twitter. You can follow us on Instagram @sextraspodcast, Facebook at Sextras Podcast, email us at email@example.com or find us on our website www.sextraspodcast.com. Thanks and we’ll see you next week! Produced by Mable Productions Original music by Sacha Puttnam See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
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