Listen Now

Sex With Heather EP25 “THIRD WHEELS” FCF NETWORK * iTUNES * FACEBOOK * TUMBLR SexWithHeather@Gmail.com Zelda gets mad about having to be near the litterbox. Panther the cat and his voyeuristic tendencies. Heather shares her vast knowledge of third wheeling. DO NOT get involved in present getting for couples. DO bring your own reading material.

Sex With Heather EP 25 “Opinions on ‘Famous’” FCF NETWORK * iTUNES * FACEBOOK * TWITTER * TUMBLR SexWithHeather@gmail.com   We are joined by Adam, Emma, and Chelsey for Heather’s golden podcast. We talk about Kanye West’s latest controversial music video, “Famous”. It’s based on a painting called “Sleep” by Vincent Desiderio. We talk about the Right of Privacy. Heather pretends to be Socrates. Adam tells us about “Everyone I Have Ever Slept With” and “How Ya Like Me”. BODIES ARE BEAUTIFUL. George Bush looked hilarious. Zelda’s favorite line? “Who would party with Bill Cosby?”

Heather and Zelda talk living with cats. Sacred geometry is discussed; how does The Dolphin Star Temple Mystery School come up? Briefly discuss sex history, and societies that exalt sex. “The Five Rules of Sexual Energy” by Heather get brought out.

Heather and Zelda are back, talking about depressing sexual assault. We talk a LOT about the Stanford assault that resulted in just a six month jail sentence. We get facts. The Senate’s unanimous decision on sexual assault provisions. We have another Sex Titan: Grace Quek.

Heather is alone, and explains her murder. Heather has a lot of weird feelings about sex in this episode, so buckle up. Heather talks dry spells and gets angry about nothing things. Heather tells you about her quest to eat lunch outside, and her ideas about why men can’t be sexually non interested. She gets too serious, hopefully too funny, and definitely too mean. Join us!

We are one heather short this week. Plant heather undergoes a transplant, and Human Heather learns how to keep a plant alive. This episode is all about the undahpants of the world; someone should make hippopatumimosas, too. Heather plays Something I Should Have Said Last Time about search bars for porn. We'll talk about going commando, the history of underpants, and how much money we spend on this shit. We talk sustainable underpants and comfort driven markets via Naja and Mack Weldon.    

The Heathers talk about Indiana and bar sex. We first explore Indiana and its ass backwards everything - sex rules, cake maker defenses, and weird return boxes for children. We finish it up with bar sex - how to not have bar sex if you don't want it. Heather tells you personal stories that she wants you to think are lies, and then we finish the podcast. 

Episode 17: Porn Graphs   The heathers discuss porn! Heather talks smut, literotica, and all the weird stuff she read when she was young. We talk about lemon thieves, french anal sex videos, and Mr. Danger and his wildly inefficient student. We talk about getting busted by the parents with porn, and reading it on the family computer. Is there plant porn? Please don’t show us. Does porn fuck with your brain? We hope not. Sites used: youporn, literotica, and sex stories post (if you’re a monster who wants to look at dick logos all the time and read goat porn. No judgement other than the monster comment).

The Heathers explore bathrooms - specifically all the laws that are coming out about bathrooms around the U.S.A. We talk about where bathrooms started. We mention Breitbart, because we’re weak. Are people sexualizing your bathroom experience? How does the USA differ from other parts of the world, and how does it benefit women? What is problematic bathroom behavior? Let’s get serious, ya’ll!   Articles used from: Amnesty International; Breitbart; Imgr; Smithsonian; CNN; LaurelHouse   SWH Twitter- @theheathersbff SWH Tumblr  

We are talking about sexual abuse and the sex offender registry. We talk some sobering stuff, so keep your smiles on. We talk about humans, and having human respect for humans. Also, are sex offenders mostly adult on adult crime, or weird pervy Uncle Jack’s? All this and more, on Sex with Heather.

Sodomy is on the table today. We get biblical with it. We talk about Bowers v Hardwick. Heather underwhelmingly mic drops. Lawrence v Texas is where we end our first half on. Who still has sodomy on their books? Michigan’s sodomy law hidden in an animal abuse law. “See who is holding you back from being and feeling comfortable, confident, and most of all, constitutionally protected.”

Heather records at IBWIP Studio and welcomes Jason and Blake from Couch Pilots onto the show. Heather talks about Heather (the plant) not doing well and asks the age old question… “Couch sex…. Have ya had it?”. They discuss sex laziness and putting a towel down. They also discuss Blake shopping for a couch, Jason’s grandma’s couch, and having an animal audience during sex. Jason talks about his “HJ” and Blake talks about the first time he had anal sex. The anal sex mirror is invented on the show and all three tell the tales of the first time they had sex.

Heather is on a tour (where she walked three blocks and went home), and didn’t bring heather. Heather visits Emma, and they talk about unsexiness. Emma brings up inner sexiness, fancy wines. dry humpers, and growing into da sexy. Heather uses 14 different voice tones to talk about boring relationship sex and sex moaners. Chris walks in, proclaims he has never had unsexy sex, and leaves as Mister Steal Yo Girl. sexwithheather@gmail.com sexwithheather.tumblr.com

Heather and Heather explore the art of touching yourself. We use the Biebs to give you a little anthem moment for masturbation. Heather shares her favorite ways to get her Lucy juicy, her tumultuous past with her parents and masturbation… which is a weird sentence. Adam joins us in the second half, and he tells us how boring and mechanical his masturbation is. Keep listening, and keep touching your genitals.

Heather and Heather discuss Heather’s tested Do’s and Don’t’s of sexual encounters. Heather gets dropped of a window ledge, Heather talks about farting on a man. Heather apparently talks to her relatives about sex. Necrophilia, blowing up vaginas, and washing machine floods come up. Find out what you’re supposed to do with sex - you know you want to.

We’re getting naked, ya’ll. Play along, and take off your clothes, or don’t. Up to you. The ladies discuss why everyone doesn’t walk around naked. Heather shares a naked creek story. We talk about naked art. The dangers of clothing and lovemaking. We get technical and psychological with it. Join us next week! C COUNT: ONE

THIS EPISODE IS FOR CHILDREN WHO LOVE CREME BRULEE. The Heathers explore why we start up sex, and how people start to get into the groovy gravy. We explore how we know we’re ready, and how to evaluate if you’re ready. Get serenaded. Get to learning. Learn about consent! How do you show you consent? Let’s listen in: C COUNT: ZERO OF  COURSE, ITS FOR CHILDREN!

Heather and Heather meet with Adam, Heather’s human boyfriend, about some ball related issues. We talk about the purpose of balls. Heather gets shouty at Adam for his ball input. The gang learns about ball stretching. Balls balls balls. BALLS COUNT: OF COURSE NO ONE COUNTED

Heather and Heather had their first guest - Emma Devoe! Join us as we talk about the heathers’ interfriendship problems, BDSM, sex stores, and butt plugs. Emma shares her story #shoutyourabortion. Lots of Lambrusco.Lots of clit appreciation. Lots of Lady Love. C COUNT: Zero!

A romantic tryst in an Amazon warehouse lead Heather and heather on their way through the basics of Sexually Transmitted Diseases - STDS. Learn the difference between a disease and an infection Heather gets exuberant about all the STD’s out there. Learn how to try to not get STD’s inside your body. You can’t find plant STD’s on the CDC page. We discuss the Boy Scout’s motto “be prepared”. Are people honest about the STD’s they may have? We talk about tipping and open communication with sexy partners. Women lose eggs. Oral sex condoms for ladies. An Origami Condom is discussed. We talk about condoms, which have a  5% usage rate worldwide? Is Big Latex a thing?  Difference between a bacteria and a virus? Lots of questiions, no guaranteed answers. C COUNT: ZERO Also, Danny Boy