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Sex Out Loud with Tristan Taormino
61 minutes | a day ago
Melanie Vesey is a Wild Animal
Comedian, actress, writer/director Melanie Vesey digs deep in her soul and covers a lot of ground in this interview with Tristan Taormino. Her experience with intimate partner violence just as her acting career was taking off was heartbreaking, and she talks about how she recovered from the trauma (and turned it into comedy 20 years later). We talk about what it’s like to co-parent her son with his dad, and her description of talking openly about sex with him is inspiring and hilarious. We also talk about Promotional Rescue, her promotion coaching business for artists and small business owners. Plus, we listen to an excerpt from her stand up special Wild Animal (video on Amazon and RevrtTV, audio on all major streaming platforms). Special thanks to Sakara and Intensity by Pour Moi. Melanie Vesey is an accomplished comedian, actress, writer/director, and owner of Promotional Rescue. Her comedy special/album Wild Animal is available to watch on Amazon, Revry TV and to listen to all major streaming platforms. She hosts the Promotional Rescue Talk Show where she has real conversations with people about how they deal with self-promotion. Throughout Melanie's career, she's been seen in the New York Times, The New Yorker, Paper Magazine, Playboy, Time Out, and Vanity Fair. In addition to her TV comedy spot on Laugh After Dark for Amazon, she’s opened for Marc Maron, Tweeted for Tig Notaro, WON round 4 of the U.S. Comedy Contest, and been comedian of the week on the Jackie Kashian & Laurie Kilmartin podcast. Notably, she co-starred with Jim Carrey in the Andy Kaufman bio-pic "Man on the Moon" and has been seen at the Burbank, Motor City, Palm Springs, and the Ladies Laugh Comedy Festivals. Melanie also co-produces The Antidepressant Comedy Hour for Comedy Hub on Twitch and Make It Rain Comedy. Trained at the Juilliard School at Lincoln Center, Stella Adler Conservatory in New York City, and The Interlochen Arts Academy, she has a strong foundation for her body of work.
66 minutes | 7 days ago
Cannabis, Sexual Health, and Pleasure
Ashley Manta, Kiana Reeves, and John Renko join Tristan Taormino to talk about cannabis, sexual health, and pleasure. We talk about how cannabis products, including arousal oil, lubricants, and suppositories can treat sexual pain, inflammation, and trouble with arousal. We go over the difference between a CBD product and one with CBD and THC and how to be an informed consumer in a market that has been flooded with unregulated CBD products. As medical professionals often invalidate, pathologize, or simply have no solutions for pelvic pain, vaginismus, and vulvodynia, cannabis is a natural, plant-based medicine that offers real relief. Special thanks for the support of Dipsea, Care/Of, and Calm. Ashley Manta is an award-winning sex educator and coach and has become a sought-after authority on mindfully combining sex and cannabis as part of her CannaSexual® brand. She is the author of The CBD Solution: Sex, published in conjunction with Merry Jane and Chronicle Books. She also writes for Playboy as a Playboy Advisor. Ashley appeared on the cover of Sexual Health Magazine in January 2019, along with the designation, “America's High Priestess of Pleasure.” She completed her certification as a Bodysex Facilitator after studying with legendary pleasure pioneer Betty Dodson. She is a brand ambassador for Sybian and Foria. With a lifelong passion for sexual wellness and plant-based medicine, Kiana Reeves has been practicing in the field of sexual wellness, birth work, and holistic health for over 10 years. She is a pelvic health practitioner, full-spectrum doula, somatic sex educator, Chief Education Officer at Foria, and mama of two wild sons. John Renko’s passion is figuring out how things work. He employed his engineering skills to grow California-legal high-grade medical and recreational marijuana, creating an ultra-clean product to the highest purity standards. John developed GoLove CBD Naturals with sex educator Dr. Sadie Allison. GoLove is a body-safe, fully tested, CBD-based intimate lubricant designed to help alleviate vaginal pain, inflammation and anxiety.
63 minutes | 14 days ago
Foreskin and Circumcision with Georganne Chapin
Tristan Taormino welcomes Intactivist Georganne Chapin from Intact America to educate listeners on the anatomy and sexual importance of the foreskin of the penis. No professional medical association in the United States or the rest of the world recommends routine circumcision, yet it’s incredibly prevalent in America. We discuss the debate surrounding routine circumcision in male infants. What are some of the arguments about why circumcision is necessary, and how many of them stand up to fact-checking and science? Does opposing circumcision devalue cultural and religious practices? We talk about what role the foreskin plays in solo and partnered sex and how leaving the penis intact affects people’s sex lives. There has been a global outcry about female genital mutilation (FGM), but not about penile circumcision, a similar procedure—why is that? How does the Intactivist Movement to end child genital cutting intersect with efforts to end FGM and activism to stop doctors from medically intervening when someone is identified as intersex at birth? How does the everyday person bring up the subject with a loved one, a spouse, a sibling, or a close friend? This episode is made possible by Calm and Intensity by Pour Moi. Georganne Chapin has dedicated her life to promoting human rights and fighting injustice. Georganne is a leader in the growing national movement to end routine circumcision of baby boys. Twelve years ago, she co-founded and became executive director of Intact America, the largest national organization working to end child genital cutting in this country and to ensure healthy sexual futures for all people. Prior to that, she founded the Hudson Center for Health Equity and Quality (which she also currently heads) and is the former president and CEO of Hudson Health Plan, a large nonprofit Medicaid managed care organization in the Hudson Valley. She has her MPhil in Sociomedical Sciences from Columbia University and her JD from Pace University School of Law.
93 minutes | 21 days ago
Disability Justice and Sex with Lydia X. Z. Brown, Leah Lakshmi Piepzna-Samarasinha, Katie Tastrom
Lydia X. Z. Brown, Leah Lakshmi Piepzna-Samarasinha, and Katie Tastrom join Tristan Taormino to talk about disability justice, sex, and relationships. We explore the question: what does it mean to apply a Disability Justice lens to sexuality and sex-positive culture? What are the effects when Black and Brown disabled people are hypersexualized, desexualized or degendered? On an interpersonal level, desexualization assumes disabled folks don’t have agency or skill when it comes to their sexuality and can put pressure on them to perform a kind of hypersexuality. We discuss desirability and undesirability, strength-based approaches to disability and sexuality, disabled sex workers, and the overwhelming amount of sexual violence disabled people face. We also delve into ableism, politics, and representation in the legal case of Marjorie Anna Stubblefield who had a sexual relationship with D.J., a non-verbal man with cerebral palsy. This episode is sponsored by Calm and Dipsea. Lydia X. Z. Brown is a disability justice advocate, organizer, educator, attorney, strategist, and writer whose work has largely focused on interpersonal and state violence against multiply-marginalized disabled people living at the intersections of race, class, gender, sexuality, nation, and language. They are Policy Counsel for the Privacy and Data Project at the Center for Democracy and Technology; Adjunct Lecturer in Disability Studies for Georgetown University; and Director of Policy, Advocacy, and External Affairs at the Autistic Women & Nonbinary Network. They are also founder and volunteer director of the Fund for Community Reparations for Autistic People of Color's Interdependence, Survival, and Empowerment. Currently, they serve as a founding board member of the Alliance for Citizen Directed Supports, presidential appointee to the American Bar Association's Commission on Disability Rights, and chair of the American Bar Association's Section on Civil Rights & Social Justice, Disability Rights Committee. In 2015, Lydia was named to Pacific Standard's 30 Top Thinkers Under 30 list, and to Mic’s list of 50 impactful leaders, cultural influencers, and breakthrough innovators. In 2018, NBC featured them as one of 26 Asian Pacific American breakthrough leaders for Asian Pacific American Heritage Month, and Amplifier featured them as part of the We The Future campaign for youth activism. Leah Lakshmi Piepzna-Samarasinha is just another middle aged mixed-race rust belt autistic aging queerpunk, and a queer disabled and autistic nonbinary femme writer, performer, educator freedom dreamer, and disability and transformative justice movement worker of Burgher/Tamil Sri Lankan, Irish and Roma ascent. She is the 2020 winner of the Lambda Literary Foundation's Jean Cordova Prize for Lesbian/Queer Nonfiction, and is the author and co-editor of nine books, including Beyond Survival: Strategies and Stories from the Transformative Justice Movement (co-edited with Ejeris Dixon), Tonguebreaker, Care Work: Dreaming Disability Justice,Bridge of Flowers, Bodymap, Dirty River, The Revolution Starts At Home: Confronting Intimate Violence in Activist Communities (coedited with Ching-In Chen and Jai Dulani), Love Cake and Consensual Genocide. Their work has won the Lambda and been shortlisted four times for the Publishing Triangle Award. A lead artist for the disability justice performance collective, Sins Invalid, since 2009, Leah also co-created the collectives Performance/Disability/Art, Mangos With Chili, and Toronto’s Asian Arts Freedom School and is currently on the programming team for the Disability and Intersectionality Summit. They believe in the power of storytelling and witnessing, being an everyday-ass human being, the power of disability justice to create an abolitionist present and future, crip and Crazy person brilliance, and the unpredictable future. Raised in Worcester, MA, they currently live in South Seattle, unceded Duwamish territories. Katie Tastrom is a writer and sex worker based in Upstate NY who focuses on disability justice, sexuality, and abolition. Her most recent article was in HuffPost.
61 minutes | a month ago
Jessica Fern on Polysecure: Attachment, Trauma, and Consensual Polyamory and Nonmonogamy
Therapist Jessica Fern joins Tristan Taormino to talk about her new book Polysecure: Attachment, Trauma, and Consensual Nonmonogamy. We talk about the basics of attachment theory and how to challenge the inherent mononormativity in it in order to apply it to nonmonogamy, especially polyamory. There is an in-depth discussion of childhood and ongoing trauma and how it relates to our relationships as well as the effects of larger societal systems on our sense of identity, safety, and security. We explore the co-regulation of our nervous systems, the difference between secure connection and a securely attached relationship, tools to help people and their partners learn about their attachment styles and become polysecure. Polysecure is the first book of its kind to look at nonmonogamy through the lens of attachment theory expansively without pathologizing it. Special thanks to Dipsea and Intensity Pour Moi for making this show possible. Jessica Fern is a psychotherapist, public speaker and trauma and relationship expert. In her international private practice, Jessica works with individuals, couples and people in multiple-partner relationships who no longer want to be limited by their reactive patterns, cultural conditioning, insecure attachment styles and past traumas, helping them to embody new possibilities in life and love. Learn more at JessicaFern.com.
51 minutes | a month ago
Justin Lehmiller on America’s Most Common Sexual Fantasies, Groups, Nonmonogamy, Public, Taboo, and BDSM
This show is all about sexual fantasies! Tristan Taormino talks to Dr. Justin Lehmiller about his book Tell Me What You Want: The Science of Sexual Desire and How It Can Help You Improve Your Sex Life and his research which includes the largest study of Americans’ sexual fantasies. We review the seven broad categories he divides them into: multi-partner sex; power, control, and rough sex; novelty, adventure, and variety; taboo and forbidden sex; partner sharing and nonmonogamous relationships; passion and romance; and erotic flexibility. Plus, we discuss other findings about gender, sexual orientation, body image, and what percentage of people want to make their top fantasy come to life (hint: it’s surprising!). How do we shape our fantasies and our fantasies shape us and why do fantasies matter? Dr. Justin Lehmiller is a social psychologist and Research Fellow at The Kinsey Institute. He is author of the blog Sex and Psychology and the popular book Tell Me What You Want: The Science of Sexual Desire and How It Can Help You Improve Your Sex Life. Dr. Lehmiller is an award-winning educator, having been honored three times with the Certificate of Teaching Excellence from Harvard University, where he taught for several years. He is also a prolific researcher who has published more than 50 academic works, including a textbook titled The Psychology of Human Sexuality that is used in college classrooms around the world. Dr. Lehmiller is a much sought-after voice in the media on sexuality research and education. He has been interviewed by The Wall Street Journal, The New York Times, and CNN, and he has appeared on dozens of international radio, podcast, and television programs. This show is possible because of the generosity of Calm and Trivia Star by Super Lucky.
50 minutes | a month ago
Jen Manion on Female Husbands: A Trans History
Historian Jen Manion joins Tristan Taormino to discuss her new book Female Husbands: A Trans History. How did some people assigned female at birth began living their lives as men in the 18th and 19th Centuries? Manion did extensive research on primary source materials including marriage certificates, census records, court documents, local and national and newspapers. In their book, Manion introduces us to the lives of U.K. female husbands Charles Hamilton, Henry Fielding, James Howe, James Gray, Samuel Bunday, William Chandler, Robert Shurtliff, James Allen, and Henry Stoake. We learn about George Wilson, John Smith, Albert Guelph, Joseph Lobdell, Frank Dubois, Samuel Pollard, Leroy Williams, and John A. Whittman in the United States. What did class and wealth have to do with the ability to trans gender? What do we know about the women who married female husbands? What happened when female husbands were discovered to be assigned female at birth? What role did the institution of marriage, medicine, the legal system, and the media play in shaping their lives and the narratives about them? How did their communities make sense of them trans-ing gender? How did attitudes during this time take root and influence ideas about sex, gender, and sexual orientation that persisted? How does this book fit into the study of LGBTQIA+ histories? Jen Manion is Associate Professor of History at Amherst College. She is a social and cultural historian whose work examines the role of gender and sexuality in American life. Manion is author of Liberty’s Prisoners: Carceral Culture in Early America which received the inaugural Mary Kelley Best Book Prize from the Society for Historians of the Early American Republic. Their most recent book, Female Husbands: A Trans History was supported by a grant from the National Endowment for the Humanities. Manion has published dozens of essays for popular and scholarly audiences and serves on the editorial boards of Amherst College Press, Early American Studies, and The William and Mary Quarterly. She is currently chair of the OAH Committee on the Status of LGBTQ Historians & Histories.
46 minutes | 2 months ago
Farzana Doctor: Speaking Out Against Female Genital Mutilation
Author Farzana Doctor sits down with Tristan Taormino to discuss her latest novel Seven which revolves around the practice of khatna, a ritual female genital cutting in Dawoodi Bohra communities. According to the World Health Organization, more than 200 million girls and women alive today have been cut in 30 countries in Africa, the Middle East and Asia where female genital mutilation (also called female genital mutilation or female circumcision) is concentrated. They discuss what it means when religion attempts to control women’s bodies and sexuality, and the devastating effects of silence, secrecy, and trauma. Her novel explores themes of family, loyalty, generational trauma, and the shame that persists for women to talk openly about their own sexuality. Throughout this riveting story, she offers models for resistance, activism, hope, and healing. Farzana Doctor is a writer, activist and psychotherapist. She is the author of four novels: Stealing Nasreen, Six Metres of Pavement (which won a 2012 Lambda Literary Award), All Inclusive (a Kobo 2015 and National Post Best Book of the Year) and Seven which Ms. Magazine says “is fully feminist and ambitiously bold; this is an important book for our changing times.” Farzana volunteers with WeSpeakOut, a group that is working to ban female genital cutting in her Dawoodi Bohra community. This episode is sponsored by Intensity by Pour Moi and Trivia Star.
51 minutes | 2 months ago
Amanda Blumenthal on Being an Intimacy Coordinator for TV and Film
In the age of #MeToo, there has been a reckoning in Hollywood about sexual harassment and that extends to the way folks are treated during productions. Intimacy coordinator and founder of Intimacy Professionals Association Amanda Blumenthal joins Tristan Taormino to talk about this growing profession in Hollywood and beyond. She tells us what intimacy coordinators do, challenges they face on set, and what their training is like. She explores power dynamics on a production, how actors sometimes don’t feel like they can’t voice their sexual boundaries to a director, and why being an advocate for them is so important. Plus, she spills the tea on modesty garments (what are they?), sexual negotiation tips, and what happens when some directors don’t want her on their set. Amanda Blumenthal is the founder of Intimacy Professionals Association which is one of the leading organizations in the world for training intimacy coordinators. Amanda was the first intimacy coordinator in Los Angeles, and has worked on hundreds of scenes involving intimacy. Amanda is a sought-after speaker on the topic of intimacy coordination and has spoken at the American Film Market, Women in Film, Film Independent, the USC Peter Stark Producing Program, and the Women’s Production Society, to name a few. Additionally, she was a primary contributor to the SAG-AFTRA Standards and Protocols for the Use of Intimacy Coordinators, and continues to work closely with the union on their intimacy coordinator initiative. She has also consulted with the Producer’s Guild of America (PGA) on developing materials for their Independent Production Safety Initiative (IPSI) program, and was a contributor to the Time’s Up Guide to Working in Entertainment. This show is sponsored by Calm.com and Intensity by PourMoi.com. Insta
64 minutes | 2 months ago
Erin C. Law and Dr. Robyn Henderson-Espinoza on Orienting Toward Resilience: Taking a Somatic Approach to Anti-Racist Work
Many of us have experienced stress and tension in relation to the unrelenting racist violence and oppression. There has been an explosion in public dialogue around white supremacy, whiteness, and racism and some are beginning to view this as “cultural trauma.” Dr. Robyn Henderson-Espinoza and Erin C. Law do a Sex Out Loud Takeover this episode, where host Tristan Taormino hands over the mic for them to have an important conversation. Robyn and Erin offer a different inroad to approach anti-racist work looking at whiteness and racism through a lens of somatic methodology, and drawing on the work of Tada Hozumi, Dare Sohei, (and their joint work through the Ritual as Justice School), My Grandmother’s Hands by Resmaa Menakem, Ibram X. Kendi, Robin D’Angelo, Kenneth Jones and Tema Okun, Politicized Somatic Experiencing, Generative Somatics, and others. What does it mean to be trauma bonded? How does our disconnection from our bodies affect how we respond to hard conversations, to criticism, to trauma? “If we are always activated, we can’t access anything beyond our lizard brain. Nothing can take root and change when our nervous system is freaking out,” says Erin. How do we get more connected to our bodies and each other to do the work of composting supremacy culture together? Robyn says, “When we get into our bodies, we can affect the larger body of culture, and that can change democracy.” Erin is offering a 6 week online emergent interactive process, “Unraveling Our Whiteness” for white and white-passing folks. They say: “We are going to dive into this really charged topic. We will feel our feelings, get into our bodies, witness each other, discover how our bodies communicate with us, and what we need to heal.” It starts October 5 at 3 pm PT/6 pm ET. Find out more at erinlawembodiment.com/events. This show is sponsored by Pour Moi by Intensity. Erin Law is a somatic movement educator, politicized healer, and multidisciplinary artist based in the southern US. Erin consciously engages in antiracist, feminist, queer, disability, and embodied intersectional analysis, advocacy, and activism to contribute to the transformation of systemic oppression/supremacy culture, toward the construction of a more resilient and whole humanity. Erin is indebted to her family, and all of her teachers, students, and colleagues who have challenged and inspired her. Dr. Robyn Henderson-Espinoza is a Transqueer Activist, Latinx Scholar, and Public Theologian. Dr. Robyn travels the country doing activist theology and continues to write for both the academy and the public square. Whether speaking to faith communities, universities, or communities, writing for HuffPost or Religion Dispatches, Dr. Robyn uses tools learned in both academy and activism to stand in the hybrid space of faith communities, academy, and movements for justice curating activist scholarship with deep intention of bridging with difference. This work is important to Dr. Robyn because their own life has been lived with the ongoing challenge to be grounded in the center of their own difference as a non binary Trans mixed-raced Latinx. This has required the thoughtful intention of bridging with their white ancestors and Mexican ancestors and with those in the queer community. As a result, their life’s vocation is one that is committed to the deep relationality of bridging with difference. They are the author of Activist Theology.
93 minutes | 2 months ago
Sinnamon Love & Jet Setting Jasmine on Racism, Inequity, and Resistance in the P*rn Industry
Award winning porn performers and content creators Sinnamon Love and Jet Setting Jasmine join Tristan Taormino to discuss the realities and disparities for performers of color in the adult industry. Inequities persist in wages, visibility, power, and opportunities and companies continue to produce content with racial fetishization, stereotypes, and offensive language and marketing. We talk about how to address the inequality and oppression performers of color face, how marginalized folks are creating their own content, and how average consumers can support sex workers of color. We also dive into the history, issues, and debate about the “ethnic” and “interracial” categories in porn. Sinnamon and Jasmine share the goals, services, and demands of BIPOC-AIC (Black, Indigenous, and/or People of Color Adult Industry Collective) and their End Racism and Wage Discrimination in Porn Petition. Sinnamon Love is a 26-year veteran Black feminist sex worker dedicated to decolonizing porn and creating safe, gender-affirming spaces for BIPOC and LGBTQIA+ folks in the sex industry. Sinnamon is the Director of Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion at Peep.me, and the founder of the BIPOC Adult Industry Collective. She is a writer, grandmother, and happily #SingleinBrooklyn. Jasmine is a licensed clinical therapist with a strong emphasis on Intimacy Post Injury and Intimacy Post Illness. Together with her partner King Noire, she owns Royal Fetish Films and Jet Setting Jasmine combining their love of the arts, film, and sex education to produce erotica that stimulates and engages the audience to push their sexual boundaries. King and Jasmine share over 20 years of experience as Adult Entertainers, Educators and Master Fetish Trainers. The duo are award-winning adult film stars and have dedicated their craft to creating a more inclusive and ethically sound adult entertainment industry. This show is sponsored by Intensity by Pour Moi.
49 minutes | 3 months ago
Zachary Zane on How Bisexual Men Are Stigmatized by Gay and Straight People
It’s Bisexual Awareness Month and Tristan Taormino is celebrating by welcoming columnist Zachary Zane to the show! Zach shares his experience coming out bisexual, when he got pushback from his gay and straight friends. He explores the stereotypes, misunderstanding, and stigma many bisexual men face when dating and hooking up. He explains how he approaches men and women very differently on dating apps. They talk about his favorite question in his "Sexplain It" column about relationships and sexual identities and Zach’s dating tips for the pandemic. Plus, Tristan shares why she loves bi guys. Zachary Zane is a Brooklyn-based columnist, sex expert, and activist whose work focuses on sexuality, lifestyle, culture, and the LGBTQ community. He currently has a sex advice column at Men's Health titled “Sexplain It” and a relationship column at Queer Majority titled “Zach and the City.” His work has been published in Rolling Stone, The Washington Post, GQ, Playboy, Slate, Cosmo, and many others.
57 minutes | 3 months ago
Jennifer S. Hirsch and Shamus Khan on Sexual Citizens: A Landmark Study of Sex, Power, and Assault on Campus
Joining Tristan Taormino in this episode are professors Jennifer S. Hirsch and Shamus Khan, the authors of Sexual Citizens: A Landmark Study of Sex, Power, and Assault on Campus based on their brilliant research about sexual assault on college campuses. Current discourses focus on toxic masculinity, consent education, bystander intervention, and adjudication, which they recognize are important factors. Hirsch and Khan take a new approach with their concepts of sexual projects, sexual citizenship, and sexual geographies and how they create and support the conditions for sexual assault. They share some compelling stories of students navigating their sexuality in a brand new environment, but they don’t just focus on individual players and experiences, but the systems that fail many of us. We talk about the role of sex education (or lack thereof), power dynamics, inequalities, social status, and peer pressure. Plus, they offer nuanced interventions and solutions for change. Jennifer Hirsch is professor of socio-medical sciences at the Mailman School of Public Health at Columbia University. Her research spans five intertwined domains: the anthropology of love; gender, sexuality and migration; sexual, reproductive and HIV risk practices; social scientific research on sexual assault and undergraduate well-being, and the intersections between anthropology and public health. She’s been named one of New York City’s 16 ‘Heroes in the Fight Against Gender-Based Violence.’ In 2012 she was selected as a Guggenheim Fellow. Shamus Khan is professor and chair of sociology at Columbia University. He is the author of dozens of books and articles on inequality, American Culture, gender, and elites. His work has appeared in the New Yorker, The New York Times, The Washington Post, CNN, and many other media outlets. In 2018 he was awarded the Hans L. Zetterberg Prize for “the best sociologist under 40.”
89 minutes | 3 months ago
Baron Vaughn on Sexual Hang Ups, Polyamory, Trauma and Mental Health
Comedian and actor Baron Vaughn joins Tristan to talk about a wide range of topics: his self-described sexual hang-ups, what his sex life is like during the pandemic, his experiences with polyamory and conscious monogamy (“I’m a polyamorous person in a monogamous marriage”), trauma and its effect on relationships, his ‘racial baggage’ about seeking mental health support, how depression and anxiety can fuel comedy, the state of media representations of Black folx, and his new podcast Self Quar. Actor and comedian Baron Vaughn plays Bud Bergstein on Netflix’s Grace & Frankie; he is the voice of Tom Servo in the new Mystery Science Theater 3000: The Return and he is the host of SYFY WIRE’s: The Great Debate. You may have also seen him in Blackish, Girls, Superstore, Arrested Development, Cloverfield and Black Dynamite. As a comedian, Vaughn has toured all over the country performing at festivals, clubs and theaters. He has been featured on The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon and twice on Conan. He has had a half-hour special on Comedy Central, and co-hosted the Comedy Central stand-up series, The New Negroes, with musician Open Mike Eagle. His two comedy albums, Raised by Cable and Blaxistential Crisis are available on AST Records and iTunes. He is also the host of several podcasts: the philosophy podcast Deep S##! with Baron Vaughn and a new one called Self Quar.
51 minutes | 3 months ago
Kai Werder on Skin Hunger During COVID-19 and Desire Discrepancies Between Partners
Sex educator and coach Kai Werder joins Tristan to talk about one of the crucial issues facing lots of people during COVID-19: skin hunger. We discuss how a lack of sexual and non-sexual touch on top of a pandemic affects our physical and mental health. Kai offers a thoughtful, nuanced perspective on dealing with touch deprivation and practical communication tools in the digital age. Then they talk about their theories of mismatched libidos and the Desire Discrepancy workbook they created to help folks struggling with one of the most common issues in relationships. Kai is a certified sex educator, coach, writer, and healing practitioner living on the occupied Chitimacha Tribal territory of New Orleans, LA. They believe in moving alongside clients and students as a guide towards healing through pleasure. Their work centers consent-based education that is shame-free, LGBTQ prioritized, and trauma-informed. You can find her published writing on sites like Allure, Teen Vogue, MTV, Kinkly, and GO Magazine. They are currently a candidate for Masters in Social Work at Tulane University and hope to use their degree to break down barriers of mental health services for queer and trans survivors.
49 minutes | 3 months ago
Jordan Flaherty on Grassroots Responses to Savior Mentality
Tristan Taormino welcomes veteran anti-racist activist Jordan Flaherty to discuss his book No More Heroes: Grassroots Responses to the Savior Mentality. No More Heroes traces "savior mentality” in pop culture, politics, non-profits, and major events including Batman, Teach for America, the flood of young white activists to New Orleans after Hurricane Katrina, and Project ROSE. We talk about how white saviors often begin with good intentions and where it goes wrong as well as how different grassroots responses can both help people on the ground and challenge the oppressive systems that undergird racism, poverty, and inequity. Quote: “I don’t believe you can get rich while doing good. Wealth and justice are mutually exclusive.” Plus, we talk about his newest short film on the community of resistance behind New Orleans’ historic protests including members of Southern Solidarity. Jordan Flaherty is an award-winning journalist, producer, and author. He has appeared as a guest on a wide range of television and radio shows. He is the author of the books No More Heroes: Grassroots Responses to the Savior Mentality and Floodlines: Community and Resistance From Katrina to the Jena Six and has produced television documentaries and news reports for Democracy Now, teleSUR, The Laura Flanders Show, and Al Jazeera, including as a producer on the Emmy, Peabody, and duPont award-winning program Fault Lines on Al Jazeera. Jordan’s print journalism has been featured in dozens of major publications around the world. Jordan has produced award-winning fiction films, documentaries, music videos, and news reports, and his reporting and analysis has been published in several anthologies, including Live From Palestine, What Lies Beneath: Katrina, Race and the State of the Nation; What is a City; Red State Rebels; Bury The Dead. He has appeared as an actor in HBO's television series Treme playing himself. He produced the fiction film Chocolate Babies, which won best picture awards at South by Southwest and New York Lesbian and Gay Film Festival.
54 minutes | 4 months ago
Allison Behringer on Sexual Shame and its Effect on Sexual Health, Medical Mysteries, Women Taking Control of Their Bodies and Their Lives
Allison Behringer, host of the documentary podcast Bodies, joins Tristan to talk about the women (and marginalized genders) whose stories she shares along with their medical mysteries. It’s a fascinating show where the interviews are deeply personal and intimate, yet what we learn has far-reaching consequences beyond one person’s life. She covers painful sex, medical devices, the pill, vaginal mesh, menopause, ALS, PGAD (persistent genital arousal disorder) and more. And she employs a collaborative method to center her subjects in their stories so they have the space and the power to tell their truths. We discussed discrimination in health care, the detrimental effects of shame, how women’s symptoms are trivialized, and how to be an advocate for your own health care. Plus, we delve into her own medical mystery—which involved painful penetration and sex—and the journey to solve it. Allison Behringer is a Brooklyn-based a narrative audio journalist and podcast producer. She is the creator, host and producer of Bodies, a feminist documentary podcast, supported by NPR-affiliate KCRW and Webby-nominated for Best Documentary. Each episode is the journey of one person (specifically women and marginalized genders) to solve their medical mystery. It combines intimate, nuanced storytelling with health reporting to uncover the layers that affect health, like racism, sexism, and capitalism. She got her start in podcasting as the host and producer of The Intern, a first-person narrative documentary about navigating the startup tech world at betaworks and living in NYC.
69 minutes | 4 months ago
Stacyann Chin on Love, Sex, Survival and Revolution
Staceyann Chin joins Tristan to talk about her poetry collection Crossfire: A Litany For Survival. They talk about how she’s doing in the midst of the Black Lives Matter uprisings and the pandemic. She delves into what it means for women to reclaim their bodies after sexual violation. They cover a lot of ground: misogynoir, sexual violence, racism, capitalism, poverty, and inequity. They go deeper and talk about some very personal stuff: queer sex, love, and relationships. Plus, Stacyann reads three of her poems from the book. Poet, actor, and performing artist Staceyann Chin is the author of the new poetry collection Crossfire: A Litany For Survival, the critically acclaimed memoir The Other Side of Paradise, cowriter and original performer in the Tony Award–winning Russell Simmons Def Poetry Jam on Broadway, and author of the one-woman shows Hands Afire, Unspeakable Things, Border/Clash, and MotherStruck. She has appeared on the Oprah Winfrey Show and 60 Minutes, and her poetry been featured in the New York Times and the Washington Post. She proudly identifies as Caribbean, Black, Asian, lesbian, a woman, and a resident of New York City, as well as a Jamaican national.
61 minutes | 4 months ago
Dr. Nan Wise on How The Brain Controls Desire, Pleasure, and Orgasm
Sex therapist and neuroscientist Dr. Nan Wise talks about her incredible book Why Good Sex Matters: Understand the Neuroscience of Pleasure for a Smarter, Happier, and More Purpose Filled Life. Dr. Wise was a well-regarded sex therapist when she decided to go back to school to become a neuroscientist! She did an infamous study where she put people in fMRI machines, asked them to orgasm, then studied what parts of their brain lit up. This woman knows more about the sex and brain connection than anyone I know Quote: “Although we know our brains are involved in and contribute to sex, my research suggests that our brains largely control sex and pleasure.” Dr. Nan Wise is a licensed psychotherapist, cognitive neuroscientist, certified sex therapist, board certified clinical hypnotherapist, and certified relationship specialist with three decades of experience. Driven by an intense desire to understand how the brain operates to create moods and behaviors, she returned to academia in 2009 to purse a Ph.D. in cognitive neuroscience at Rutgers-Newark where completed her dissertation project, “Genital stimulation, imagery, and orgasm in women: an fMRI analysis” in August of 2014. Her research has attempted to address gaps in the scientific literature regarding the neural basis of human sexuality, and has as a result, garnered international attention. Dr. Wise has recently published two scientific papers, Activation of sensory cortex by imagined genital stimulation an fMRI analysis (2016)" and "Brain Activity Unique to Orgasm in Women: An fMRI Analysis (2017) and is the coauthor of Peripheral and Central Neural Bases of Orgasm in The Textbook of Female Sexual Functioning (2018). She is the author of Why Good Sex Matters: Understand the Neuroscience of Pleasure for a Smarter, Happier, and More Purpose Filled life. Sex therapist and neuroscientist Dr. Nan Wise talks about her incredible book Why Good Sex Matters: Understand the Neuroscience of Pleasure for a Smarter, Happier, and More Purpose Filled Life. Dr. Wise was a well-regarded sex therapist when she decided to go back to school to become a neuroscientist! She did an infamous study where she put people in fMRI machines, asked them to orgasm, then studied what parts of their brain lit up. This woman knows more about the sex and brain connection than anyone I know Quote: “Although we know our brains are involved in and contribute to sex, my research suggests that our brains largely control sex and pleasure.” Dr. Nan Wise is a licensed psychotherapist, cognitive neuroscientist, certified sex therapist, board certified clinical hypnotherapist, and certified relationship specialist with three decades of experience. Driven by an intense desire to understand how the brain operates to create moods and behaviors, she returned to academia in 2009 to purse a Ph.D. in cognitive neuroscience at Rutgers-Newark where completed her dissertation project, “Genital stimulation, imagery, and orgasm in women: an fMRI analysis” in August of 2014. Her research has attempted to address gaps in the scientific literature regarding the neural basis of human sexuality, and has as a result, garnered international attention. Dr. Wise has recently published two scientific papers, Activation of sensory cortex by imagined genital stimulation an fMRI analysis (2016)" and "Brain Activity Unique to Orgasm in Women: An fMRI Analysis (2017) and is the coauthor of Peripheral and Central Neural Bases of Orgasm in The Textbook of Female Sexual Functioning (2018). She is the author of Why Good Sex Matters: Understand the Neuroscience of Pleasure for a Smarter, Happier, and More Purpose Filled life.
62 minutes | 4 months ago
Simon(e) van Saarloos on Playing Monogamy & Writing the History of Now
Writer & philosopher Simon(e) van Sarloos talks about their book, Playing Monogamy, newly translated into English. They discuss how to understand the world through structures, imagining what love can look like, and writing history in real time. Simon(e) van Saarloos is a writer and philosopher based in Amsterdam, the Netherlands. They published several books in Dutch including a novel and a collection of columns. In Enz. Het Wildersproces, Van Saarloos shares a feminist and queer report of the trial against the Dutch right-wing politician Geert Wilders. To learn a bit more about this book, check out a recent essay on the Gezi Park Trial in Turkey. In Het monogame drama, Van Saarloos critiques monogamous living and false notions of safety, proposing a nonmonogamous love life and a different take on ownership and property. The book was recently translated into English and published by Publication Studio, titled Playing Monogamy. Their most recent book, Herdenken herdacht, is a non-fiction work about queer forgetfulness, whiteness and embodied commemoration.Van Saarloos curates collaborations between artists, activists and scholars and regularly appears on stage as a lecturer, interviewer and performer.
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