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You better watch out You better not cry You better not pout I'm telling you why Santa Claws is coming to town.

Welcome to Screenplayed, the fake movie podcast where we turn our film ideas into reality. Do you believe in fate? What if I told you free will was an illusion and our destinies are controlled by some unseen force? What if I told you that source was also a significant source of iron and sugar for its size? In tonight's film, one brave man will follow the dangerous path of prophecy to its ultimate terminus: fortune cookies. Come join us as we unravel the mysterious plot behind these sorcerous sweets, and what power lies beyond the crunch. Confucius say: eat your cookie, turn on Screenplayed, and listen to tonight's feature film- Fortune

Welcome to Screenplayed, the fake movie podcast where we turn our film ideas into reality. Everyone has a best friend. Someone they admire and can cut up with. Someone you trust and would never expect to literally stab you in the back. This week we tackle the story of Brutus, the guy who did literally stab his friend in the back. And the chest. And the knee. And pretty much all over his body. At least 23 different places. So throw on your best toga and hop in your chariot to head to the ampitheater for a showing of "Brutal"

Welcome to Screenplayed, the fake movie podcast where we turn our horrible film ideas into reality. You know what this world needs now more than ever? Trash cans. You know what else it needs? Public Service Announcements telling you what the world needs. So with today's episode we thought we'd kill two birds with one stone and bring you a thought provoking short film that we hope will inspire change. We were also missing one of our hosts and quickly realized that without him our movies descend rapidly into chaos... From ancient temples to an entire jet full of old soda cans, we bring you the inspired cinematography necessary to change the world. After all, nobody wants to see a planet covered with trash! We'd all much rather see it littered with trash cans. So throw that Blu-Ray you just picked up from Red Box in the garbage, and settle in for tonight's world changing Public Service Announcement: Yes, You Can!

Welcome to Screenplayed, the fake movie podcast where we turn our horrible film ideas into reality. When was the last time you were stuck between a rock and a hard place? Maybe at Thanksgiving when your brother started a political debate while he was passing your Uncle the cranberry sauce? Or when you had to choose between chicken or pasta for your last long distance flight? Well what about being stuck in the international waters of the Suez canal between two very rocky and very hard places? While it may not have happened to you, for a few unlucky sailors this was the all too uncomfortable reality. From 1967 to 1975, fifteen ships were caught between opposing nations and forced to remain in the middle of the Suez canal. This is their story. From waylaid toy merchants to above-deck Olympics, in this episode we explore what happens when you take a big group of sailors, give them as much beer as they need, and force them to live together in the middle of a godforsaken wasteland. You know, like college! So forget your passport, it's about time we take this ship to international waters with this week's feature film: The Great Bitter Lake Association

Episode Notes Welcome to Screenplayed, the fake movie podcast where we turn our horrible film ideas into reality. Everyone knows that the rich lead different lives than the rest of us. Be it watering their grass with milk, playing badminton on horseback, or hiring someone to assassinate Jeffrey Epstein to cover up their sex crimes, the rich are on a - Wait what? That's right, this week's episode takes a dive into the world of silencing a shitty person before they can spill the beans about how shitty you are. Follow along as chainsmokers, muppets, and garbagemen all race to the finish line that is ending Jeffrey Epstein's life in our latest episode: Cause of Death

Welcome to Screenplayed, the fake movie podcast where we turn our horrible film ideas into reality. Who was your favorite celebrity guest on the old Scooby-Doo movies? Don Knotts? Sonny and Cher? Ted Bundy? What if you didn't have to pick, despite most of these celebrities being long dead? Through the magic of the silver screen we're bringing you all the hits. From nanotechnology to Lo-Fi Chill Beats to Study/Relax to, we've got you covered in this episode. Join us as we isolate what made those classic Scooby-Doo celebrity adventures so successful, and completely disregard all of that in favor of creating our own terrifying adventure for Mystery Inc. Alright gang, grab your Scooby Snacks and let's split up! We need to get to the bottom of this week's featured mystery: Scooby-Doo and the Hollywood Haunts

Welcome to Screenplayed, the fake movie podcast where we turn our horrible film ideas into reality. If you could create your own personal horror movie, what would make it special? Murder? Mystery? A former football legend turned silver screen icon? What if I told you we already tried that idea and it sucked? I know, I'm not surprised either. This week we discuss the classic film archetype of Murder Mystery, along with some of its most beloved tropes. From sprawling mansions to competitive applause, we've got what you've been looking for all this time. So put on your Buffalo Bills Jersey and pack your knives. That's right, all of them. You'll need all of that and more to survive a night with this week's feature film: Mystery at 37 Knife Ave.

Welcome to Screenplayed, the fake movie podcast where we turn our horrible film ideas into reality. This week we've got the government meddling with nature, we've got scientists telling them that's a bad idea, and we've got nature biting back. No, I'm not talking about the current political climate and the fight against climate change. What we've got is much less scary. Continuing our month of otherwordly inspired flicks, we're throwing it back to the days of B-Movie dreams. Featuring giant monsters, military clashes, way-too-hunky college professors, and... a lot of weed? We're hitting all the tropes with this one. So throw on your lead vests and protect yourself from the radiation poisoning that you'll get from tonight's flick - URGON: THE MILE HIGH MONSTER

Welcome to Screenplayed, the fake movie podcast where we turn our horrible film ideas into reality. It's October, it's Spooky Season, and we're here to get you in the holiday spirit. You've seen Transylvanian Count vampires, you've seen sexy sparkly teen vampires, you've seen a muppet vampire. You may be thinking, "At last, I've seen every possible vampire there is. I can finally rest." Well, guess again fan-Helsing, because we're about to hit you with Vampires of the Caribbean. This week we kick off Spooktober with a not-so-relaxing vacation at a blood-sucker infested tropical resort. So grab your trunks, your flips flops, and don't forget to pack your crucifix because you're gonna need all of 'em when you book a stay at: Club de los Muertos

Welcome to Screenplayed, the fake movie podcast where we turn our horrible film ideas into reality. What beloved childhood video game do you most desperately want destroyed by the merchandising machine that is the modern film industry? Legend of Zelda: The Ocarina you can buy at Target for $19.99? Kingdom Hearts $59.99 (Remix)? Well... we're fresh out of those, but what about MARIO KART!? That's right, this week we reimagine the beloved Nintendo racing series for the big screen. From cell-shaded pyrotechnics to unimaginative puns based on racially sensitive catchphrases, this episode is sure to have everything you need to get you over the finish line. So strap on your racing goggles and polish-up your red shells, it's a-time to drift your way into this week's grand prix: Mario Kart: The Movie

Welcome to Screenplayed, the fake movie podcast where we turn our horrible film ideas into reality. What do millennials love most in the world? Storming Area 51? Accumulating student debt? Being told what they are supposed to like by every other demographic? While all that may be true, today we're talking about that most beloved tradition of today's youth: the Summer Music Festival. From wild drug rampages to intense aromas, these massive summer performance events have something for everyone to enjoy, so we thought we'd try our hand at making our own. This episode we lift the curtain on this mystical world and give you a first hand look at what it takes to survive the weekend. So put on some body glitter and check your wristbands, you'll need them to get into this week's main event: THUNDER DREAMS

Welcome to Screenplayed, the fake movie podcast where we turn our horrible film ideas into reality. What would you do if you discovered you had inherited a million dollars? One billion? Some arbitrary number in between that comes with an absurd amount of preconditions and complicated rules? Well welcome to this week's episode! Today, we explore the familiar concept behind films like the classic "Brewster's Millions" in which our protagonist suffers the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune. So, slip on your vintage silk robe and slippers made from imported Siberian Tiger; it's time to get bougie with this week's main event: It's Money, Baby!

Welcome to Screenplayed, the fake movie podcast where we turn our horrible film ideas into reality. This week on Screenplayed we are joined by special guest Dan Pauley of the "Friends in the Corner" podcast! Dan was gracious enough to have our own Chris Raque and Zach Wooldridge on his podcast last week to discuss Screenplayed and all things fake cinema. Dan does a great job using his podcast to showcase some of the most interesting things going on in the state of Kentucky, and working with him we were able to create what we think might just be the unifying sports epic this country needs in these trying times. After all, curling is the national pastime... So, without any further ado, bring your stones and polish that ice as we introduce the next era in curling-based cinema: MANITOBA JONES

Welcome to Screenplayed, the fake movie podcast where we turn our horrible film ideas into reality. This episode takes us back to the summer of '07, bringing a classic coming-of-age story with a campy feel along for the ride. From marxist pre-teens, to kid-friendly Havana Nights, this new take on a timeless story is packed full of feels. So slip on your swim-trunks and grab your bug spray, and welcome campers to: CAMP

Welcome to Screenplayed, the fake movie podcast where we turn our horrible film ideas into reality. This week on Screenplayed, we unravel the perilous origin story of one of the world's greatest thespians: Daniel Day-Lewis. From his origins as simply being a dude playing a dude disguised as another dude, to his enduring legacy as one of the greatest and most mysterious forces of nature, we dissect every piece of this legendary persona. Now, method act as an interested and enthusiastic podcast listener while we present you with tonight's film- Becoming Daniel Day-Lewis

Welcome to Screenplayed, the fake movie podcast where we turn our horrible film ideas into reality. Inspired by classic East Asian cinema, this week we test our bad-movie style against your unimpressed-listener stance with our take on the classic Kung Fu movie. Pristine white suits, expensive kicks, and the one and only San Francisco Dragon await you as we dive into the tropes of this big screen staple. So take a bow and prepare your fighting stance for tonight's feature presentation- KUNG FU GAI: THE BATTLE AGAINST BIG KARATE

Welcome to Screenplayed, the fake movie podcast where we turn our horrible film ideas into reality. Still reeling from the wild success of Space Jam 2, this week we set the stage for the next installment in the beloved basketball series. From groundbreaking multidimensional romance to demonically possessed Kevin Durant, this third installment brings you everything you've come to expect from the classic Space Jam series. So come and slam, and welcome to tonight's feature film: SPACE JAM 3

Welcome to Screenplayed, the fake movie podcast where we turn our horrible film ideas into reality. This week, we explore the thrilling and fabulously cheeky world of James Bond. Whether it's a K-Pop/Hip Hop theme song you're after or the world's sickest vape rig, we've got what you're looking for right here. Straighten your bow tie and down your 4th Martini, it's time for tonight's feature film: Two Wrongs Make a Right.

Welcome to Screenplayed, the fake movie podcast where we turn our horrible film ideas into reality. Blood, money, and neon. These are the pillars upon which this episode is built. This week, the boys explore the world of the Synthwave A E S T H E T I C and live out a fantasty they've been dreaming about for years... or at least since Blockbuster went out of business. Strap into your Ferrari Testarossa and put on your Ray Ban Aviators, this one could get bumpy as we present this week's feature film: NOCTURNE