Connection Over Control: Where Are You Faking It in Your Relationship?
“When we’re faking anything, it’s an attempt to exercise control. Over the other person, over the imagined outcome, or over ourselves when we’re ignoring our true feelings or experience in a relationship.” Control blocks connection and sometimes we may not even realize that we’re doing it. This can show up in a variety of different ways, including things like: Trying to mold ourselves into someone or something we’re not in order to maintain the relationship Faking orgasms and/or making things all about the other person’s pleasure and experience Saying it doesn’t matter where you eat for dinner and then being disappointed when the other person picks a place you don’t like, but you still stay silent “Going with the flow” rather than stating your needs And a WIDE variety of other ways. Sometimes we try to control things in an effort to grow closer to someone, but ironically, the control piece actually destroys connection and has the complete opposite effect that we want it to. Even if it’s not explicit, we can FEEL in our bodies when someone is exerting control over us in a way that we have not consented to. There’s an energy to it that’s undeniable once we start paying attention. We’re unpacking all of this on today’s episode. Let’s stay in touch! Jump on my email list for some extra special goodies 😉 Want to work together in my private coaching mentorship? Apply here and let’s chat! REFERENCES EPISODE #87: People Pleasing is Dishonest: The Dangers of Being Agreeable EPISODE #138: The Weight of Expectations & Attaching to Outcomes EPISODE #267: You’re Not Needy, You’re a Human with Needs EPISODE #220: What Self-Betrayal Looks Like EPISODE #208: Self-Integrity & Keeping Promises to Yourself EPISODE #270: Cultivating a Deep Sense of Self Worth EPISODE #136: Communication, Betrayal, Infidelity & Self-Esteem with Renelle Nelson EPISODE #239: Communication: The Lubrication for Relationships with Renelle Nelson EPISODE #241: How to Have Hard Conversations & Improve Communication EPISODE #129: Liespotting: How to Detect Deception in Everyday Life EPISODE #264: The 4 Key Components for Connection That Will Change Your Relationships EPISODE #268: Trust is a Choice: Creating a Confident Relationship with the Unknown Questions? Comments? Want to connect and chat about this episode? You can email me at firstname.lastname@example.org, or DM me over on Instagram @emilygoughcoach or Facebook at Emily Gough Coaching. I would absolutely love to connect with you and thank you for listening in real life and here any takeaways you had from this or other episodes!. It makes me day to see you listening to the podcast and fills me up with pure joy. Seriously. See you on the ‘gram! If Instagram and Facebook aren’t your jam, send me a good old fashioned email! email@example.com BRAND NEW EPISODES EVERY TUESDAY & THURSDAY Find Emily Online: @emilygoughcoach firstname.lastname@example.org Emily Gough Coaching Room to Grow Podcast