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Let’s talk about goals and how to properly set healthy goals that make you want to work towards them from a place of joy instead of guilt. All of us have dreams and aspirations, and it can be very hard to hit those dreams without some sort of benchmark or step-by-step follow-through.    What are some of the reasons that keep us from achieving our goals and our dreams? Sometimes we’re the biggest reason why we’re getting in our own way. It’s our own beliefs and mindset that interfere with our vision. Our false beliefs that are hanging around in our subconscious can be some of the nastiest ones, and the worst thing is we don’t always see or know that they’re sabotaging us.    How many times have you said to yourself that you don’t have enough time to complete something? The truth is we’re all busy, we’re even overscheduled. However, if you want to achieve great things, you have to take ownership of the little steps that get you there. If you believe you don’t have enough time, if you make the excuse that you don’t have enough time, then it will become true. It’s time to reflect, slow down, and prioritize your time to work towards that goal.    Another block you might be experiencing is the belief that you don’t have the right talent or skills to achieve your goal. What if you told yourself that it doesn’t matter! That you will find a way to figure it out if you allow yourself to stumble, and maybe even fail just a little? You have the talent and you have the skill, you just need to practice and build it stronger. We all had to learn how to walk at some point in our careers so that we could run.    Continue Your Growth Journey: Kaminiwood.com

A lot of us go through self-doubt. In fact, 85% of people are battling with low self-esteem. The truth be told, the belief in oneself can really hold us back personally and professionally. So how do we let go of self-doubt when it comes to us at the most inconvenient time? Take a minute to breathe. The best way to really unlock this is through deep acceptance.    Who you are, this human being, is exactly who you’re meant to be. You can always grow and expand, but who you are today is a strength. It’s completely okay to not know the answers to everything. It’s okay to feel scared or insecure. It’s all okay. Your self-doubt is only here to protect you. You're completely capable of learning what you currently don’t know.    If you punish yourself for not knowing all the answers, this is your sign to remember that you’re just human. You are showing up in the best way possible. Another important point to think back to when you’re feeling self-doubt is that you’re not alone. There are many successful people like you who have been in the same position you’re currently in. You don’t have to walk this journey alone!   Continue Your Growth Journey: Kaminiwood.com

Emotional safety is when we are in a relationship with someone where we feel 100% safe and secure with that person. We feel seen and respected when we’re with this person, and we’re not afraid to share what we’re thinking even if it feels vulnerable. A healthy relationship has emotional safety and trust in it. To be completely vulnerable and intimate with someone, you have to feel safe!    However, when relationships don’t have it, it can be almost impossible to feel authentic intimacy. We might feel like we have to hide pieces of ourselves in order for us to ‘be whole’ in the relationship. Instead of just ‘being’, we feel like we have to fit in, even if it means compromising our sense of self. It can be very hard to feel emotional safety in a relationship like this because you’re not able to freely express yourself.    So, how do we truly know we’re in an emotional safe place vs. unsafe place? The first indicator is how that person shows up when you set boundaries. Do they listen to you? Do they get upset? What is their reaction?    It’s important to recognize that emotional safety does build overtime as you get to know your partner better. It can actually be a very slow boil to build up trust with someone new. When you dive too quickly into a relationship, you might not be giving the relationship the space it needs to prosper, and to really understand whether your partner is a good candidate for emotional safety.    The good news is that, through conflict, there is opportunity for growth. If you’re having conflict with your partner, this can actually be a good thing because you’ve been given the chance to know more about your partner in a unique way. As long as the conflict doesn’t turn toxic, you can continue to build trust and safety, which will eventually lead to emotional safety!    Continue Your Growth Journey: Kaminiwood.com

Self-care has become such a buzzword these days. Corporations and businesses have really capitalized on this by providing the public with a whole variety of products centered around self-love. You can easily pick up a facemask or a bath bomb to ‘instantly’ make yourself feel loved.    However, although they might make you feel good, none of these things address the inner self. They’re designed for the external. To really practice self-care, it’s about getting in touch with your needs and wants. You need to work on the ‘self’ and that can be really uncomfortable.    What does self-care really look like? It means taking the time to notice your feelings and putting a label on them throughout the day. That doesn’t always feel good to do. It can actually be hard to recognize what this ‘feeling’ is when you’re so used to just going through the emotions of your day.    Self-care is all about doing things that help us grow and heal. Take an inside approach to your self-care next time you’re having a bad day or just need a day off and see what kind of feelings and emotions arise from it. They might surprise you!    Continue Your Growth Journey: Kaminiwood.com

People who appear to be well-off might not actually be well-off at all. Appearances can be deceiving and a successful career doesn’t always translate into happiness and fulfillment. We need to remember that the pictures we see on the outside aren’t always the reality. This is important to keep in mind when you’re working on your own personal journey to abundance and prosperity.   Abundance and happiness truly begins within yourself. The relationship with yourself is the most important relationship you’re going to have. However, growing up, we have internalized the belief that we don’t deserve abundance or prosperity that we really would like. We are taught success is only achieved in one way, and that happiness can only be given to those who are ‘successful’.    We have to adjust our perspective and thoughts around it. There are six tools you can use to further cultivate this. The first is to start a gratitude practice. Second, stop dwelling on the past. Third, don’t be afraid to be honest about what you want. Fourth, recognize and appreciate your own abilities. Fifth, put out what you want to attract. Everything is a reflection of your thoughts. And finally, prioritize both your physical, mental and emotional health.    Continue Your Growth Journey: Kaminiwood.com

Not a lot of people fully embrace themselves and love themselves for who they truly are. Self-love is a hard concept because we’ve been fed messages that we’re not worthy, we’re not enough, or in some way flawed for not being XYZ. However, self-love is one of the best ways for us to feel whole and complete.    What is self-love? It goes beyond spa days. Those are nice, but self-love is finding new or unique ways to love yourself for who you are. It puts the power back into your shoes. Most people find their love from external forces, which sets them up for disappointment. We seek this external validation from co-workers, partners, or even our children.    There’s nothing wrong with looking for validation from outside of ourselves. We are relational beings after all, but it can be harmful to your sense of self if you consistently thrive on this external validation. If you’re unable to get satisfaction from within yourself, then that’s when we adopt unhealthy coping mechanisms and patterns.    Continue Your Growth Journey: Kaminiwood.com

We want to have long and healthy relationships with people. We also want to be our own person and yet, oftentimes, we think we can’t be our own person, have boundaries, and have friends at the same time! Because of this limiting belief, we will shy away from setting boundaries because we don’t want the very people we love to abandon us.    However, if you don’t set boundaries, then how would you be able to maintain your whole self? You begin to get into a pattern where you’re over-functioning and serving other people and you are at risk of losing your sense of self. You’re teaching people how to treat you, and even the most well-intentioned people might unknowingly take advantage of that.    Codependency begins to fester when the lines are blurred between how people should and shouldn’t treat you. Do you know what your limits are? Boundaries give people a guideline on how you want to be treated. Through that, you’re able to develop deep relationships based on respect, care, and love.   Continue Your Growth Journey: Kaminiwood.com

Boundaries are hard for everybody! It doesn't matter the age range. Kamini has seen it in both young teenagers and adults who are later in life. There is so much fear around setting boundaries. But why is there such a fear around this? From an evolutionary perspective, we weren’t necessarily designed to have boundaries. We’re not truly built to stand within our own self-expression.    Remember, if we stood out too much, it meant we were outcast and thrown out of the tribe! No one wants that. Today, as we’ve lived more in the modern world, if you feel like you’re not able to set boundaries, it might mean that somewhere along the way in your family dynamics you were given a message that it was not safe to set boundaries.    If you really dig deep, you have no boundaries because you have fear. By setting too strong of a boundary, we might feel like we’re excluding people from loving us. However, we need to begin to parent ourselves from an adult perspective so that we can show up fully authentic without compromising on our own needs and desires.    Continue Your Growth Journey: Kaminiwood.com

High performers and people pleasers tend to have difficulties setting boundaries. There is a fear that if we do, we will have that person leave us or abandon us. It’s important to realize that when you do eventually set a boundary that you haven’t before, the people who will get most upset are the people who were taking advantage of you in the first place. The people who are benefiting from you really don’t want you to set a boundary!    The very first type of boundary is a physical boundary. You have every right to decide how you want to be touched and by who, and who is allowed within your space. There are also material boundaries, which gives other people access to your material possessions. You have all the power in deciding who gets to come into your house, and who you like to loan items to.    The third boundary to consider is a sexual boundary. You get to decide when you want to engage in sexual intimacy, and this applies to both males and females. The fourth boundary is around your mental state. This gives you permission over what you think; to not let others dictate your opinions to you. The fifth boundary consists of your emotional needs and being in charge of your own feelings. You can also set an emotional boundary for others where they’re in charge of their own feelings (you do not take their emotions on as a burden).    The sixth boundary is around relationships, which gives you the choice of who you want to spend time with. If someone is not giving you what you need, then that might be the perfect time to set that relational boundary. The seventh personal boundary to focus on is your spiritual connection. What are your beliefs? Are the people around you respecting those beliefs? The eighth boundary is financial. This can be both for yourself personally or for others on how you want to show up financially. The final boundary is time. If you feel resentful or frustrated by how others take up your time, you have the choice to say no.    Continue Your Growth Journey: Kaminiwood.com

If you put real effort into your dreams, can you make them come true? Manifesting your dreams involves focusing your thoughts and setting your intention on the desired outcome and then achieving that goal in real life. It’s about managing your life as you want it to be. But manifestation isn’t only about saying what you want, it’s about taking the necessary steps to work toward achieving your goals.    To manifest your dreams, you have to give yourself permission to release your negative thoughts about the things that you want to bring into your world and instead set your intention for what you want to bring into your world. Then you have to give yourself permission to take the steps needed to live into that intention. It’s a conscious process and the best way to manifest your dreams is to train your mind to attract the desired outcomes that you want to achieve.    There are several steps you can take to help manifest your goals. Start by identifying your goals in a SMART way. Goals that are specific, measurable, actionable, realistic and time-bound will help clarify what you want to achieve and keep you motivated. Visualize your success and what it would mean to you to reach your goal.  Believe that success IS possible. Make an action plan and write it down so that you have a plan. Identify potential roadblocks and determine how you will face them. Practice gratitude on a daily basis to create a more optimistic outlook. Stay focused, maintain balance, and remember your why. Meditation can be helpful to quiet the inner critic and to make the decision to be engaged in our world rather than being on autopilot. Focus on what your life will look like when you achieve your goals, and then go for it!   Continue Your Growth Journey: Kaminiwood.com  

What is the difference between belonging and fitting in? Belonging is about being able to be your authentic self without the fear that someone will abandon you when they see the true you, while fitting in is more about trying to be what the people in your group expect you to be. It is accompanied by a fear that if you took the mask off and showed your true, authentic self, you would no longer be accepted by that group.    Take it one step further and consider how this plays into the relationships that we each have with ourselves. When you have a strong foundation in your relationship with yourself, you’re able to interact with others from a whole and complete place. It is essential that we belong to our true selves first, because that deep level of self acceptance, then allows us to belong more authentically to our families, friends, and other groups.    “If I get to be me, I belong.  If I have to be like you, I fit in.” This quote from Brene Brown’s newest book Atlas of the Heart reveals the importance of identifying the places where we are trying so hard to fit in and the purpose behind our efforts. Why do I feel the need to fit in? How can I support my children compassionately in their need to fit in? Depression and anxiety can stem from not feeling a sense of belonging, and as Brene Brown says, our sense of belonging can never be greater than our level of self acceptance.  Our relationship with ourselves is the most important relationship that we have.    Continue Your Growth Journey: Kaminiwood.com  

We all have different levels of anxiety, some of which can be much harder to handle than others.  Today we are discussing methods to overcome these anxiety attacks.     Anxiety is experienced differently and uniquely by each individual.   One thing that is constant though is that the idea of pushing your anxiety aside is not a good solution.   It is important to work through your anxiety.   Proven methods of working through your anxious thoughts include physical activity, meditation, breaks from screen time and social media.  These are just a few of the methods we are covering in today’s show.   If you are constantly stuck in anxious thoughts it might be time to look into some coaching to help guide you through these difficult thoughts and fears.   Continue Your Growth Journey: Kaminiwood.com

In attempting to improve our relationships most people will focus on what needs to be improved or changed.   It is equally important to focus on the green flags in relationships that show the great parts of what is already there!   Today we will spell out what Green Flags to look out for while evaluating your relationships and how important it is to recognize some of the foundational successes that may already exist in your own relationship.     Continue Your Growth Journey: Kaminiwood.com

Women have a slightly different experience in the workplace. As women make up around 40% of the labor workforce all over the world, these subjects cannot be ignored. Women still have to face gender bias, work-life balance demands, and more. Kamini understands that men can face similar challenges when it comes to work and life demands, but will be focusing today’s topic on women.    Many working moms find themselves sacrificing their family time for their job and career. If a woman wants to push forward in her career, she needs to make a choice. As a mother wanting the best for her family, this can be a hard pill to swallow. Working mothers experience a lot of mom guilt, and it takes a toll on their mental wellbeing.   Another big issue women are facing is sexual herassment. Anywhere from a quarter to 8 out of 10 women experience workplace harassment in their lifetime. In most cases, this harassment comes from a man in a position of authority.    What can women do to better strive under these often unfair working requirements? The first thing Kamini recommends is to seek women outside of your place of employment that inspire you. Women need role models to understand what is possible for them. She also encourages you to ask for help if you need it. This doesn’t have to be a lonely and solo endeavor. When you feel supported, you are empowered to do the scary things and not fall victim to bad workplace practies.    Continue Your Growth Journey: Kaminiwood.com

Kamini would like to take a moment to talk about what’s happening in Ukraine. At the time of this recording, a lot of new information about the war is coming up and she has been feeling very overwhelmed by what’s going on.    What do we do when we feel emotionally drained like this, especially by events that seem so out of our control? If you feel like you’ve been in this state for a very long time, then it’s important to also talk to your doctor about this, as there could be something else going on.    Emotional exhaustion is typically an accumulation of stress from everyday life that you’re not releasing in a healthy way. We all have stress, but too much of this can be a detriment to our health and wellbeing.    What are some of the signs of emotional exhaustion? Feeling tired all the time, sleep problems; including oversleeping or restlessness, problems with your appetite, anxiety, and a diminished sense of pleasure in activities you used to feel joy in.    If you’re noticing these patterns, a good way to break out of it is by changing up your routine so you don’t feel drained or stuck. Also, get good at setting boundaries and saying no! If you feel tired, take some time for yourself and practice a bit of self-care, and of course, stay active. When we’re emotionally drained, our bodies still need to move! There’s so much science behind getting a good workout in.    Continue Your Growth Journey: Kaminiwood.com

Oftentimes we look at self-sabotage as a way to keep ourselves safe. However, we end up keeping ourselves from actually moving towards the goals and what we truly want in our lives. Self-sabotage in its covert way that we keep ourselves from actually living into the goals and dreams that we have and keeping ourselves safe through controlling the fallout.   Self-sabotaging behaviors are generally unhealthy patterns that create problems in our day-to-day lives that can cause emotional distress and difficulties in relationships. These self-destructive behaviors are often unconscious so sometimes they are difficult to identify or pick up on because these patterns have been normalized.     What are common self-sabotage behaviors? They are self-criticism, procrastination, perfectionism, imposter syndrome, taking on too much, suppressing one’s emotions, low self-esteem, not having healthy boundaries, people-pleasing, and being stuck in a fixed mindset instead of a growth mindset and overindulgence.   It’s important to understand why we might self-sabotage, because what we really want is the best for ourselves. Some of the factors are: low self-esteem, having the need for control, fear of failure and people in their relationships leaving them. Signs that you might be self-sabotaging in your relationships include holding grudges, not allowing your partner to have space, trust issues, gaslighting, focusing only on the negatives of your partner, being overly critical of your partner, avoiding intimacy, constantly comparing your partner to others, not being honest about your feelings.   How do you stop self-sabotaging? Learn to recognize your triggers, learn to be honest and open with your feelings and needs and take responsibility for your actions. Ending self-sabotage requires openness to recognize it, shifting your mindset and communicating it to those who you need to.    Continue Your Growth Journey: Kaminiwood.com

A relationship with a narcissist usually feels like a constant walking on eggshells and trying to avoid setting off narcissistic rage. Narcissists have an exaggerated sense of self-worth and a lack of empathy where they always have the need to put their needs first. As a result, they have a need to control and manipulate the relationship that makes their partner feel like they can do nothing right.   So, what is hoovering? Hoovering is the manipulation strategy and type of emotional abuse that narcissists use to keep their victims stuck in the toxic relationship. In an attempt to test whether or not their victim can be pulled back, the narcissist may start to hoover. They use this manipulation through lies to convince them to come back to the dysfunctional relationship.   Narcissists hoovering can cause emotional and physical distress to the person on the receiving end because it keeps them stuck in the abusive cycle. Why do narcissists hoover? The narcissist needs the other person to feed their ego constantly and if that supply seems to be gone, they will try to hoover and pull that person back.    There are nine signs of hoovering and they are: love bombing, dramatic declarations, making accusations, threatening to harm themselves and receiving random texts or calls like pretending nothing has happened. They spread fake gossip, make big promises, apologize and tell you they’ve changed or create fake emergencies to bring you back to the fold of the relationship.   How do you respond to a narcissist hoovering? The key is having boundaries and reaching out to your support system for them to help you hold those boundaries. It’s important to recognize that hoovering is a manipulation tactic. Once you understand that, you will be able to equip yourself with ways on how to respond.   Continue Your Growth Journey: Kaminiwood.com

If we have people in our lives that have a short fuse and find ourselves walking on eggshells around these specific persons, that might indicate an element of narcissistic rage. Understanding narcissistic rage and how to deal with it can help you manage a relationship with a toxic person and protect yourself.   Narcissistic rage is described as a sudden and powerful outburst from narcissists. They lose control and explode at the slightest provocation. They may react with anger, aggression, and violence for no apparent reason.   Most commonly, a narcissist’s rage boils over when they feel hurt or slighted in some way. Any kind of boundary, judgment or criticism could potentially set it off. Narcissistic rage can manifest in two ways: explosive and passive aggressive rage.   How do we deal with narcissistic rage? First is to start to understand narcissistic personalities and set boundaries and stick with them. To avoid fueling a narcissist’s rage try not to engage with certain dynamics with the narcissist. Last but not the least is to seek professional help, having someone to support you through the process of dealing with somebody with narcissistic rage is important. Protecting yourself both emotionally and physically is very important.   Continue Your Growth Journey: Kaminiwood.com

When we are thinking about how to value ourselves in the workplace, it’s recognizing that we all have things that we might need to improve on but also having a healthy understanding of what our strengths are. When we have a clear understanding of that and accept our strengths and our areas of growth, we can leave room to make mistakes and recognize that we can grow and improve.   A lot of us experience limiting beliefs about our worth and our competence from time to time but when these beliefs don’t subside, it can lead to self-sabotaging and the inability to achieve certain goals because of the diminishing self-esteem. It ends up holding us back without realizing it and working in a toxic environment doesn’t help. Being poorly treated at work makes it harder for you to see your value.   Learning how to value yourself can improve your sense of self worth and also limit self-sabotaging thoughts and behaviors. A sense of self worth and self esteem is what really brings forth the value you bring everyday. Those are the qualities that can lead to recognition for leadership type positions and help move your career forward.   Some tips for self-validation are: practice self affirmation, recognize the difference between your flaws and your worth, remind yourself that everyone makes mistakes and choose to learn from them, and work on your self development and self compassion. If you focus on your goals and practice gratitude everyday, you will slowly develop the habit of valuing yourself and setting healthy boundaries.   Continue Your Growth Journey: Kaminiwood.com

No one is perfect and no matter how kind, polite, and friendly we are perceived by others, we do have parts of ourselves that we may not like or necessarily want to show to others. These undesirable aspects of ourselves are referred to as the “Shadow Self.” Once we learn to embrace our shadow self, we can emotionally grow and live with it.   The term shadow self is used to describe those parts of ourselves that we sometimes struggle to accept. They may include undesirable personality traits, forbidden impulses, or negative thoughts in general. These parts of us are hard to accept because they don’t fit into our self-conception. We then shove these parts away that are undesirable, hence they are in the shadow.   Why is it important to know this other side? Recognizing and integrating that side of ourselves into our experience allows us to become more balanced and fulfilled. It allows us to identify what our needs are to learn to set boundaries and become more self-compassionate. In recognizing our shadow self, we realize that we are not our feelings and they are just feelings that are meant to bring you a message.   Most emotions that are suppressed will eventually bubble up and influence our behavior and mindset. So we need to talk it out and not keep it in the shadows. We can also learn to challenge these thoughts or journal about them to try to understand them. The truth is, we have to learn to accept the pieces of ourselves because the whole being is who we are.   Continue Your Growth Journey: Kaminiwood.com