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Rise with the Light
32 minutes | Jun 15, 2021
Meet Dina Farmer - Founder of Lily and Magnolia Travel, Autism Advocate, Veteran, Your Certified Autism Travel Professional and More!
Hi there and thank you for joining this episode - a special episode as I have a guest who is helping other people through her business! My special guest today is Dina Farmer. She is a mother of two boys, one of whom is autistic. Her family is a military family (she is also a veteran) and as she was struggling with booking travel for her own family, she pivoted her business to help others - She is a founder and owner of Lily and Magnolia Travel, helping autistic families book and plan vacations as a Certified Autism Travel Professional.In this episode, we discuss her journey with her son's diagnosis, which she reveals an important lesson and advice for other parents not to ignore your inner voice or your intuition. She is not only an advocate for her son, but also an advocate in the travel industry, helping other families take steps and find resources to help them with family vacations and ensuring families know the type of support that is out there for them. Dina shares a wealth of knowledge, resources and advice for families to take a step in travel, starting small and planning ahead, knowing resources that are available to you. We also go into some of her biggest challenges she faces, particularly being in a military family, moving around all of the time and advocating so much to ensure her son has everything he needs, no matter what! Sound familiar? Check out this episode to learn more from another family/mother, listen to her advice based on her personal experiences and learn how you can get in touch with her (Lily and Magnolia Travel) to get assistance with your future travel! Here are all the ways you can get in touch with Dina Farmer at Lily and Magnolia Travel: www.lilyandmagnoliatravel.comwww.facebook.com/lilyandmagnoliatravelwww.instagram.com/lilyandmagnoliatravelDina Farmer | Travel Advisor Certified Autism Travel ProfessionalLily and Magnolia TravelWebsite: www.lilyandmagnoliatravel.comEmail: firstname.lastname@example.orgPhone: (808) 800-1249Schedule a complimentary consultation.Veteran Owned BusinessBlack-Owned BusinessSupport the show (https://www.buymeacoffee.com/susanfink.rise)
21 minutes | Jun 10, 2021
Go Ahead, Be Emotionful
Has anyone ever told you you’re being too emotional? Have you told yourself that you’re being too emotional? If someone ever says this to you, stand proud and say, I'm proud to be emotionful! This episode dives into what it actually means to be emotionful, what are emotions, how emotionful people tend to be more empathetic and compassionate. I also go into things to consider if someone says "You're too emotional":Consider the source of who is telling you this. Can lead to negative coping mechanismsSomeone may tell you you’re emotional primarily for negative emotions, not happy, content emotions. But just like happy and positive emotions, negative emotions need to come out too. We often turn to negative coping mechanisms such as: Shutting down - internalizing emotionsSuppressing it - smile and pretendBecoming self conscious and insecure - judge ourselves negatively Holding your emotions in and stuffing them inside - creates energy inside, leading to depression, anxiety, feeling completely insecure. So, don’t disregard your emotions - positive or negativeEmotionful people tends to feel things more deeply and for longer than the average person. People who are highly emotional are often deeply compassionate, empathetic and self-aware, but at the same time may feel exhausted from feeling all the feels all the time.Let's take a step back into what is emotion: Emotions are psychological states brought on by neurophysiological changes, variously associated with thoughts, feelings, behavioural responses, and a degree of pleasure or displeasure.Emotionful: Of or relating to your emotion, exhibiting emotionUse your emotions in a positive way, how can you use them to better yourself, to positively impact your life, to learn something new about yourself? Take the time to explore your emotions, rather than dismissing them or someone else dismissing them saying you’re being emotional. . Don't repress your emotions, aim for regulating your emotions Identify what you're feeling and what is the key source, or trigger of this emotionAccept all of your emotions, positive and negativeKeep a journal - get it out and brain dump to make more room for positive thoughts and positive coping mechanismsTry deep breathing, or even tapping meditationKnow when to express yourself. Set time aside to express yourself, and sometimes it’s not expressing yourself to someone. Writing it down, praying about it, expressing it to God or your higher power whatever that is. Get control of this - know when it’s appropriate by setting time aside to work through your emotions. Give yourself some space - give yourself time - be gentle with yourself, have empathy for yourselfUse positive self-talk and actually listen to yourself.That’s it for this episode. If you can relate to this, please follow this podcast so you never miss an episode and share this podcast to those who may need it. If you need help, I am a mindset and life coach - DM me @susanfink.rise or you can also check out my site risemindset.com to connect. I want you to remember is you’re not alone in this journey. Stay connected, reach out, there are solution out there to help you!My mission is to help as many people as I can and I cannot do that without you. Thank you, thank you thank you for listening, thank you for your support in sharing this podcast to help others. And until next time, I appreciate, I empathize, and I am here for you. and...We...can do thisSupport the show (https://www.buymeacoffee.com/susanfink.rise)
11 minutes | May 25, 2021
Look Up, Literally
Can I ask you something? Where do you look when you are going for a walk, hike, run? I noticed something about myself and wonder if you do the same thing. When I walk, run or go for a hike, I find myself looking down A LOT. I noticed this when I was going for a walk today and I was just looking down at the ground. I was very aware of where I was looking - the dirty ground, and when I actually picked my head up, lifted it, looked up, my entire perspective changed. My view had changed, and I was feeling better. Yes, I was looking down because I was in my head. I was walking with my head toward the ground, shoulders shrugged forward and my eyes gazing at the ground, because I was thinking negatively, I was working through some challenges I was going through. And, usually it's fear, anxiety, stress, grief, worry. So, my physical appearance and how my body was shaped was indicative of how I was thinking. But, when I changed my body posture, when I picked my head and looked up, when I changed where my eyes were looking - I could see the ocean waves, the sand, look at people's faces as they walked by. It was a totally different perspective. It was lighter, brighter and I could feel my negative feelings and thoughts start to disappear. I was really curious about this - how posture and where we are looking, looking down vs. up, could have an impact on our minds, the way we think. While I was researching, I came across studies about this exact topic, and there is a direct correlation. Check out this episode to learn more about this. Making this simple shift can truly have a positive impact on your mind, how you think and how you feel. References: https://thebestbrainpossible.com/posture-mood-brain-emotions/https://www.ted.com/talks/amy_cuddy_your_body_language_may_shape_who_you_arehttps://psycnet.apa.org/record/2014-37739-001Follow me at: @susanfink.riserisemindset.comSupport the show (https://www.buymeacoffee.com/susanfink.rise)
17 minutes | May 17, 2021
The Wasted Worry
Do you find yourself constantly worrying about the future? Ruminating on thoughts about what could happen and trying to prepare yourself for them? This is what I called wasted worrying. The main reason it's wasted is because you don't know what the future holds. We don't know what is going to happen in the future, so why do we worry so much about it. It's wasted because we waste a lot of energy, emotional energy and time in our minds on worrying about things that may actually never happen. Worrying isn't completely wasted though, it can teach us something, help us identify where we focus on attention, identify if we are thinking negatively. It can help us identify all of this, to help us take action and make changes in our mindset. How do we stop the cycle of the wasted worry? Advice I received from a school staff member was to not look ahead more than 3 months, even less. Don’t look too far ahead and create your own future that may actually never happen. Be aware of what you're thinking about and turn your thoughts aroundDeep breathing - breathing techniquesTapping meditation Journal writingFocus on gratitudeThese are not rocket science and you could look up any site about worry. But the biggest thing you need to do is to actually do these things. It takes intention and practice, so my message to you , is to figure out how to stop worrying, how to stop it when it’s happening so you don’t waste more time. What are the tools in your toolbox that can help you? This is personal to everyone, not everything works for everyone - but you have to build it, then practice it. I can help you - let me know if you need help with creating a customized plan and toolbox for you. It’s not always easy to figure out on your own and having an unbiased person to help you might be what you need. That’s it for this episode. If you can relate to this, please follow this podcast so you never miss an episode and share this podcast to those who may need it. If you need help, I am a mindset and life coach - DM me @susanfink.rise or you can also check out my site https://www.risemindset.com to connect. I want you to remember is you’re not alone in this journey. Stay connected, reach out, there are solution out there to help you!My mission is to help as many people as I can and I cannot do that without you. Thank you, thank you thank you for listening, thank you for your support in sharing this podcast to help others. And until next time, I appreciate, I empathize, and I am here for you. and...We...can do this!Support the show (https://www.buymeacoffee.com/susanfink.rise)
17 minutes | May 11, 2021
How are you coping?
Coping on a fundamental level is what we do in our response to stress, trauma, challenges, etc. There are two basic ways of thinking about coping: 1) active or engaging coping strategies and 2) avoidant or disengaged coping behaviors.Active coping is basically the willingness to address your challenges head on, whether that's internally or externally. This type of coping includes reframing the way you think, accepting what is going on, problem solving to figure out a solution and working toward regulating your emotions. On the flip side, avoidant coping strategies is basically just that, avoiding it altogether. Having denial or wishful thinking is what this type of behavior looks like. It's basically the flight of the fight or flight phenomenon - you're fleeing the situation, you don't want to deal with it, you escape. There are also two types of coping, inward or outward. Outward is to look toward the outside world to cope - doing things like working, helping the community, talking to others. Some negative outward coping behaviors could also look like:Taking out on other peopleTaking an actionArgumentativeAggressionOn the other hand, inward behaviors are just that - curling internally, not outwardly to cope with what you're facing. Types of behaviors could include: Binge watch tvSelf care may look like sleep, eating. Reading, meditation, prayerEscaping is also a way of coping, which I have turned to. Escape could be turning to alcohol, overeating, drug use to escape the situation and what's going on. But, ultimately, this doesn't resolve the issue and the trauma, stress, anixety, etc is still there. Escaping can be a dangerous road to take and often can lead to a very negative mindset, not making the situation any better. I did this - I used to cope by drinking to escape. After a stressful day, when my son would go to bed, I would tell myself I deserved a glass of wine, I deserved it because it was tough. What I was really doing was escaping my emotions and challenges, which never went away, they were still there. So, I ask you, what is the way in which you cope? Is it healthy? Are you addressing the issue or avoiding it?Are you making things better or worse? Is how you're coping getting in the way of your goals? I believe that awareness and understanding how you cope, and why you do what you do is the best place to start when thinking about these questions. Being aware will give you a foundation to start to identify what you need to change to live a more fulfilling, healthier and happier life in the midst of the challenges. I also believe that short term pain will lead to long-term gain. Many people choose the escape route and to disengage because it's the easier path to take. Dealing with all that you're going through head on and engaging in it is not easier, it's harder, BUT, it will give you a path to freedom, a path to longer-term gain. I hope this helps you. Please follow, share and comment and please share it with someone who may need to hear this message. Please follow me on Instagram @susanfink.rise and reach out to connect if you need help. I am a mindset and life coach and am here to help you push through your challenges to create a customized toolkit to help you. Support the show (https://www.buymeacoffee.com/susanfink.rise)
21 minutes | May 3, 2021
Finding Your Lost Identity
Do you feel like you lost your identity and you are unfulfilled in a certain area of your life? Early on when my son was born as a single mother was working and taking care of my child I completely lost sense of who I am and what my goals were, my passion, my interests - I basically identified myself as a single mom, someone who worked and took care of my son. To be honest, there wasn’t a lot of time to take care of myself or do anything I was interested in, at least I thought there wasn’t time. I felt like I completely lost myself. So if you've lost your identity this podcast is for you If you are unsure of who you are anymore or if you have lost your sense of being let's talk about that How can we get that back?Here are some steps or things you can do to recover your identity, or to even create or shape a new identity, Give yourself permission to figure it out - give yourself time. Sometimes we also have to deal with specific emotions in between, could be allowing yourself time to grieve, to feel and handle sadness, anxiety, to push through getting services or schedules set up for your child - there could be some things in the way that you need to move through and navigate before you can really start the work to determine your identityThink about things that have shaped your identity in the past. What are things you enjoyed doing - things you loved doing? What are your hobbies? For me, I enjoyed exercising, running, playing volleyball, being active in the community by volunteering, hiking, sleepingFind your people - there are so many groups out there now on Facebook, meetup - you can really find people in your area who have the same passions as you. Get connected, pick up a class - interact with others who share your passions will bring so much joy to your life and focus your attention on so much positivity. This is your chance to take back what you feel like you have lost and to shape it into your life, potentially in a different wayEmbrace change Think about what you want to be in the future - what are your goals? Trying to resurrect previous passions and hobbies, or to create goals for the future takes work - so get a pen and paper and start writing. Get it all out of your head and see what it looks like on paper. Make a plan - How can you achieve these goals or start incorporating your passions and hobbies into your life - into your schedule. A lot of people have thoughts in their head about what they wan tto do, but don’t always put a plan together. Even a bulleted list of things you’re going to do to achieve your goals or to get out there to build back your identity. So, take this step - the more clarity you have, the better you’ll be able to reach your goals and start feeling whole again. Here’s the thing - Identify doesn’t have to be set in stone. People can grow, change, and fall in love with new ideas and out of love with old ones. Allowing yourself the opportunity to go through that process isn't a betrayal of your true identity. It may be an opportunity to find a new version of yourself you never knew was out there.Support the show (https://www.buymeacoffee.com/susanfink.rise)
9 minutes | Apr 26, 2021
The Unsupportive Family Members
This is a difficult topic for many. I’ve had the opportunity to speak to other parents and this is one of their struggles. When going through this journey, and especially in the initial diagnosis, you may run across family members who don’t understand, are unsupportive, not willing to learn about the diagnosis, may even say things like - it’s just a phase. You may have to reset your own expectations of your family members.They may not be able to provide the support you need, your child needs, your family needs. Let me ask you a question. What does support look like to you? Are you not receiving what you need? The truth is, they may not be able to give you what you need, the type of support you’re looking for. This could be for many reasons, and reasons I have heard include: They don’t understand the diagnosis. They don’t understand what’s going on They are in denial - they may not want to understand, they may be telling themselves something different because of denialThey don’t believe in the diagnosis - they think it’s a phaseCultural beliefs - I have heard in some countries, autism and other special needs are viewed as mental illnesses, which is incredibly sad, but unfortunately true.So, what do you when you have family members who do not and cannot support you. Realize you can’t control anyone else. You can advocate and try to educate as much as possible, but ultimately, you can’t control how they think, or their actions. Be clear with them on how they can support you - they may just not know how they can support your child and family. You may need to give them a blueprint on how to guide them to provide better support.Realize some people are not capable of meeting your expectations. YOU may need to change your expectations of them. Set boundaries. If there is any negative talk about your child and their special needs, you can set boundaries to not accept, listen to or tolerate negative talk. Seek out others who understand and create your own support group. This may need to be outside of your family - other parents, moms, community members, church - seek out other people who are open, supportive and inclusiveThe bottom line is sometimes family is not the source of support. As much as we may believe family should be inclusive, supportive and helpful - they may not always be and it could be for the previous reasons I mentioned. It’s important for you to be clear on what that support looks like, to set expectations and boundaries, and to seek out support elsewhere if you’re not able to receive it through your family. That’s it for this episode. If you can relate to this, please follow this podcast so you never miss an episode and share this podcast to those who may need it. If you need help, I am a mindset and life coach - DM me @susanfink.rise or you can also check out my site risemindset.com to connect. I want you to remember is you’re not alone in this journey. Stay connected, reach out, there are solution out there to help you!My mission is to help as many people as I can and I cannot do that without you. Thank you, thank you thank you for listening, thank you for your support in sharing this podcast to help others. And until next time, I appreciate, I empathize, and I am here for you. and...We...can do thisSupport the show (https://www.buymeacoffee.com/susanfink.rise)
12 minutes | Apr 19, 2021
Using a Stone Two Ways: Working Through Emotions and Letting Go
Rise with the Light is not only about challenges we go through as parents with special needs children, but I also cover making mindset shifts to help you in everyday life deal with different struggles you might be going through, to give you a different perspective and ways to practice. Throughout my journey in battling a variety of challenges from cancer, brain surgery, divorce while 8 months pregnant, autism diagnosis of my son, being a single mom and other situations, I have had to work incredibly hard with being intentional with mindset changes - and this takes practice, so I hope these mindset tips and hacks help you too. I want to talk to you about how a simple object, like a stone, can help you relieve emotions, particularly anxiety and help you let go.Have you ever carried around a rock, stone or small pebble in your pocket? You could also use a seashell, or any sort of small object to be honest. Carrying this object around with you, in your pocket, easily accessible can help you with grounding in the present, especially when faced with a challenging emotion, such as anxiety. They help you with alleviating anxiety, feeling anxious during a situation, even if you feel like you’re thinking negatively about the future, having ruminating thoughts over and over again. Take out the rock/stone, whatever it is and ground yourself. Grounding yourself is all about using your senses, and using a stone or object, here is what you can do: Close your eyesHold the stone/object, feel it with your fingersOpen your eyes to look at the objectBring your focus to the physical sensation of the stone, being aware of what you see and feelTake a deep breath and state a mantra, positive statement or security statement such as “I am okay.” “This too shall pass.” even a prayer like the serenity prayer. “Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. Then put the object back in your pocket or whatever it was easily accessible for you. When you start feeling anxious, pull that object out and repeat the process. If you’re having a hard time letting go, here is another way to use a stone.I learned this in a therapy session many many years ago. The idea here is to physically let go of something to help you let go of something you’re struggling with in your mind. You can actually do this with just a piece of paper and pen, which I’ll tell you how to do this, but with a stone/rock, you can literally pick it up, label the stone whatever you need to let go of. Speak to it, then throw it. Making sure you don’t hit anyone. What I have found is sometimes I am in my own head and thoughts and it’s hard to turn it off and let it go. I have to do something physical to work through my thoughts. To let them go. You can do this with a paper and pencil too. Write whatever it is you need to let go of, a negative thought, whatever is on your mind - write it down...talk to it, give it the space in your mind for a few minutes. Then, crumple it up and throw it away, burn it (safely), rip it into tiny pieces, whatever you need to do to get rid of it and let go. These physical acts can be very cathartic, healing, and create significant mindshifts. To let go of the thoughts that are taking space in your mind, to make room for more positive things to come in. Support the show (https://www.buymeacoffee.com/susanfink.rise)
47 minutes | Apr 5, 2021
The Art of Mindfulness: Meet Vani Shiroor - Founder of DotUrMinds
Please welcome to the show, Vani from DotUrMinds. Vani is a special needs mom, raising her daughter with Epidermolysis Bullosa, or EB, is a rare genetic connective tissue disorder that affects 1 out of every 20,000 births (in the United States - approximately 200 children a year are born with EB). Her daughter is now 19 years old, thriving, now in college at UCLA and was able to give her graduation speech at her High School graduation. Vani is also the founder of DotUrMinds and is here to tell us all about her journey, words of advice for parents and about her DotUrMinds sessions, bringing mindfulness and art together! In this episode, we cover so much ground:What is EB and when was your daughter diagnosed? We talk about her journey with her daughter, when she was diagnosed with EB just a few days out of the womb.Her biggest challenges as a parent of a daughter with special needs. How Vani handled her emotions and mental health through her journey.We talk about self-care, when she realized it was important in order to care for her daughter. How she discovered dot art and how she came to become the founder of DotUrMinds. It's not just another art class - this is a mindful activity - retraining your brain, where you’re focusing your time and where you focus your thoughts. You can only access your joy if you are intentionalSlow yourself down to observe and createRelaxes your brainHer biggest advice to parents is all around fear. Don't let your own fear can get in the way of the progress of our own children. Give them the lane to move in - give them the room to make decisions and help them feel like they have control. Instill the fearlessness in her - it’s a bargain and decisions to make - to experience life. Mindfulness, being in the present and pushing through our own fears is why Vani is so special, an incredible mother, woman, entrepreneur who is impacting others in a very positive way. I'm so grateful I have been able to meet Vani and showcase her strength, compassion and innovation in mindfulness on my podcast. Connect with Vani:Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dot_ur_minds/Website: www.doturminds.comWatch this space for upcoming 6 week Mindfulness for Busy Special Needs Parents Workshop: www.flowcode.com/page/doturmindsConnect with her daughter Mahi Shiroor:Check out Mahi's youtube: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=UUauNofQo8aSr14Sf44GVIGQ
17 minutes | Mar 26, 2021
That Helpless Feeling
What does feeling helpless actually mean? According to the American Psychological Association, learned helplessness occurs when someone repeatedly faces uncontrollable, stressful situations, then does not exercise control when it becomes available.Helplessness can come from a single event, like trauma, or a series of events that are recurring. it can lead to depression and often puts your brain into fight or flight mode.Helplessness basically is a feeling of not being in control. Powerlessness. You can overwhelm the areas of the brain responsible for problem solving and judgment and things get cloudy - you can’t think on your feet, find solutions to make things better or problem-solve. Often when feeling helpless or other emotions, people tend to ‘buffer’ which is a way to avoid the emotion or feeling. They turn to binge watching netflix, over eating, binge drinking or having a night out to unwind - but don’t really tackle and face the emotion. Avoidance and running away from the emotion might feel good for the moment, but it doesn’t resolve anything does it? Are we really helpless though? This is a feeling - and feelings are often not facts. It doesn’t mean we should disregard those feelings, but we should consider how we approach them. Yes, absolutely, there are things we may not have control over, but we have to shift and find out what we DO have control over. Identifying what we have control over helps to reduce the feeling of helplessness - but it’s not always an easy way to get there. Turn to your senses - groundingThree types of grounding: Physical, Mental and SoothingFocus on the now Mindfulness - Focused on the present, not the past or the futureJournal - Get your emotions out - release what you’re thinkingGet support - Talk to someone you trust. Figure out your resources - Make a planOne step at a time, one day at a time.Follow Rise with the Light so you don't miss another episode. Follow me on Instagram @susanfink.rise and check out my new website: https://www.risemindset.com/ to connect even more. Help is available, support is here. You are not alone in your journey!Support the show (https://www.buymeacoffee.com/susanfink.rise)
52 minutes | Mar 16, 2021
Meet Chante Douglas: Author, Echoboy's Mom, Autism Advocate, Single Mom and More
I had the pleasure of meeting with Chante Douglas, a single mother, an autism advocate, a military veteran having served in the air force and a published author, bring awareness and advocacy about the autism community. We cover so many topics, including when her son, Levi, was diagnosed, the mental health challenges she has faced, and how she has been working through them. Helping her son with his mental health after he had a 'terrible, terrible day,' which she drew inspiration from for her upcoming book that is going to be released soon called, "Are You Okay?"She literally turned her son into a superhero, Echoboy, as well as introducing his side-kick, ABC Girl! Driving more representation in the black and brown communities, especially related to autism, is really important to Chante. Chante has taken her pain and driven it to her purpose, using writing as a way to express herself through her poetry, but also writing childrens books, not only to help other children with autism know they are not alone, but also to educate other children (neurotypical) about autism. She is an inspiration, through advocating for her son, being vulnerable in sharing her journey and impacting others in a positive way. Check out the books she has available to purchase (see links below), as well as connect with Chante through the many channels she is available. Through connection, we can find unity, through unity, we can find solutions and support for each other. Books to Purchase:The Adventures of Echo boy And ABC girl https://www.amazon.com/dp/1686224591/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_glt_i_0RM7D9F5EWWQPK6QRB2A ABC GIRL- The Wonderful World of ABCs https://www.amazon.com/dp/B08KMBY758/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_glt_i_8533R7VR1WNV6MCN77SYConnect with Chante: Facebook Business Page: https://www.facebook.com/echoboyabcgirlFacebook Personal: https://www.facebook.com/chante.douglasInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/echoboysmom82/Twitter: https://twitter.com/levismom82?lang=enSupport the show (https://www.buymeacoffee.com/susanfink.rise)
38 minutes | Mar 2, 2021
The Autism Health Coach: Dr. Tasnuva, PhD
I had the privilege of connecting with Dr. Tasnuva, who is now a dear friend in the autism community. Not only is she an autism advocate for her son, she has created her own signature program to help other people, utilizing her background in pharmacy and all that she has learned with helping her son and his abilities. She is absolutely inspiring. Dr. Tasnuva is a Pharmacist with a PhD in Natural Medicine. She has been an Assistant Professor of Pharmacy at her Alma mater in Bangladesh. She is also a published research scientiest on Stress and Natural Medicinal Approach.She is a holistic Health Advocate, a mom of 3 with a kid on the spectrum and living in Ottawa, Canada. Her experience in helping her autism child thrive, verbalise and supercharge has given her the knowledge and desire to help others. Now she is working as an Autism Health Coach helping Autism Kids with Language, speech, communication and other physical and cognitive developmental delays to get successful.Her 5 pillars to supercharging and supporting autism kids is transcribed in her Signature program The Autism Diet. Sign up for her newsletter and join her tribe in the links below to get help and support by your side.Connect with Dr. Tasnuva:Private FB group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/276102687017998/?ref=shareBlog: www.neurodiversenerd.comInstagram: www.instagram.com/the_neurodiverse_nerdFacebook: www.facebook.com/tasnuva.tunnaLinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/dr-tasnuva-tunna-phd-autism-health-coach-24a79470Support the show (https://www.buymeacoffee.com/susanfink.rise)
23 minutes | Feb 20, 2021
Are you angry? I am too.
In this episode, I talk specifically about anger. This is a challenging emotion to navigate, it can take over our entire body and can make us do and say things that we may not mean. When my son was diagnosed and throughout our journey of autism, I have seen anger rise up inside of me - I have let it take control of me rather than taking control of it. What I learned is the emotion of anger may not even be related fully to the circumstance that is actually happening. It can be rooted in so many othert hings, that impact our anger, how it comes out, how we deal with it. Anger doesn't solve anything and I talk about ways to cope and create your own toolbox to find ways to handle your emotions, particularly anger. I also talk about acceptance in this episode. Perhaps our anger comes from not actually accepting our circumstances, accepting a diagnosis. It can also stem from going through the grieving process. Regardless of what your anger is rooted in, finding ways to cope with it, to adknowledge it, use your toolbox to let it all go. This is critical to your success as a parent, to make mindset shifts in this area of anger to support your child and your family in the best way. The last thing I’ll say is acceptance. Perhaps we’re angry because we also haven't fully accepted what the situation is. We’re holding on thinking things will change when they aren’t changing fast enough, when they are not changing at all. We want to take it out on someone, on our kids, our spouse, but often times it’s our inability to accept what we cannot change. It’s our want and desire for something we envisioned in our lives, that does not exist. We may be feeling sorry for ourselves and haven't gotten to a place where we accept our child for who they are, for everything they are and we are stuck. We do have to figure out how to let this go, how to make this shift into acceptance, even though it is a really difficult time. We have to be able to move beyond what we wanted, what we hoped for and realize what we cannot change, progress forward ourselves and focus on what we have right in front of us. That’s it for this episode. If you can relate to this, please subscribe or follow this podcast so you never miss an episode. And I’m curious, How would or do you respond when people say this? I’m curious...DM me @susanfink.rise. I really would love to hear from you. My mission is to help as many people as I can and I cannot do that without you. Thank you, thank you thank you for listening, thank you for your support in sharing this podcast to help others. And until next time, I appreciate, I empathize, and I am here for you. and...We...can do this
53 minutes | Feb 7, 2021
Meet Jamiel Owens from The Ausome Show - A Father's Perspective, Challenges, Insight and Advice
It was a blessing to have Jamiel Owens, the founder and founder/host of the Ausome Show and incredible advocate for the autism community. Jamiel's son was diagnosed with autism when he was 3 years old, and in this episode, we talk about his family, when his son was diagnosed, the challenges he faced as a father. We also get into discussion around having a spiritual foundation, ensuring you're communicating with your local police department and the things his son has taught him. Most of all, he provides incredible insight, perspective and advice for all parents out there, particularly remembering that everyone is unique in their way, to embrace who you are! Jamiel is an incredible father, focused on his purpose to support the autism community, especially the black and brown community - to be the voice people can relate to, and provide support. He has many accollades of being published multiple times in Autism Parnet magazine and Next for Autism publications. He is also the co-host of the Ben and Jay Show and is working with the police departments to bring awareness to autism, incorporating awareness in their training. Not only that, Jamiel is a volunteer fire fighter, a former corrections officer and you guessed it...a GREAT DAD! I am just so honored to have met Jamiel and having the privilege to talk to him. I hope this episode inspires you, provides you with a different perspective and gives you hope. Here are the areas you can find Jamiel and all of the work he has been working on: Check out The Ausome Show (host)Check out the Ben and Jay Show (co-host)https://www.instagram.com/theausomeshow/https://www.facebook.com/theausomeshow/Thank you for listening. Sidenote: I have partnered with Inclusion and Kindness to offer a giveaway. Inclusion and Kindness is all about recognizing people who are kind and making a difference in this world. If you haven't heard about Inclusion and Kindness, they create jewelry, keychains and bookmarks all around kindness and inclusion! So, we want you to nominate someone who is living the life of kindness. Send me a DM on Instagram @susanfink.rise to nominate someone and tell me about why you nominated them. I will pick two kind people in March and Inclusion and Kindness will send a care package to them. Let's do this!! Let me know - DM me @susanfink.rise to nominate! (https://www.instagram.com/inclusionandkindness/)
25 minutes | Jan 25, 2021
Grieving What You Never Had - The Fantasy
Grieving isn't just for things that you had and have lost, it's also for things that you may have never had. Basically, grieving the fantasy of what you never had, what you wished for or envisioned, which didn't come true. All of the feelings that come with grieving, including sadness, pain, loss, it’s the same as if you did lose something you had, so there isn’t a difference. I’ll be honest. When I found out I was pregnant and was going to be a mom, and when I learned he was going to be a boy, I had all of the fantasies, wishes and hopes for what he would be like. I envisioned everything would be okay, He would play sports like I did, he would call me mommy, he would mimic me, try to eat off my plate, say things I say, talk to me, some things I thought were pretty basic. I thought he would be a social butterfly like me, make friends, want to play with other kids, so many things I was fantasizing about, things I wished for my son and envisioned he would be like. But, none of this happened. He didn’t do any of these things. He didn’t call me mommy for his first few years, he wasn’t able to put sentences together, say many words, he didn’t want to play with other kids, he has a hard time socially. He would have incredibly difficult and physical meltdowns, sometimes hitting me and trying to pull my hair or my eyes because he couldn’t communicate. I can understand that - if you weren’t able to communicate, I’m sure you would have a meltdown too. This was his way of communicating, and I was learning more and more about him. He also had a lot of language delays, so he didn’t always understand what I was saying. He doesn’t really care much to play with other kids. He didn’t do any pretend play until more recently and he doesn’t understand social cues. Because of his speech delays, other kids are not patient with him, so he is usually left behind and other kids don’t include him in playtime.When we hold onto the fantasy, it can cause frustration, anger, anxiety and disappointment when we can’t get the fantasy, what we wish for. I had often found myself frustrated, stressed, angry, disappointed, I had to realize I was holding onto my fantasy about my son. I was comparing him to my fantasy and that fantasy was setting the expectation. I had to figure out how to let it go. When I am fantasizing, I come out in pain. Fantasizing creates pain for me. It creates pain because what I was thinking about, what I wished for is not happening, it’s not real in the moment, it’s not actually happening. It’s like I’m torturing myself about something that just isn’t true. That fantasy creates pain because it creates a difference, it creates a separation between what is real and something else in the future that's ideal or imaginary.So what do we do with the fantasy? We have to learn to let it go and grieve it. Check out this episode to learn more about how to let it go, how to grieve it and let go so it doesn't continue to hurt you and make things worse. If you can relate to this, please subscribe or follow this podcast so you never miss an episode. Share this podcast with other parents who are raising children with autism and special needs. DM me @susanfink.rise on instagram. I would love to hear from you and if this has helped you in any way. My mission is to help as many people as I can and I cannot do that without you. Thank you, thank you thank you for listening, thank you for your support in sharing this podcast to help others. And until next time, I appreciate, I empathize, and I am here for you. and...We...can do this!
11 minutes | Jan 23, 2021
Roots, Rise, Light? What does it all mean?
I wanted to share with you why I called this podcast “Rise with the Light” and why I designed the logo the way I did. Seems silly for an episode, but all of it was intentional and helps to share my journey.Throughout my journey with my son and to get to where I am now, I felt like I had to ‘rise’ out of the darkness. While I did my best to be as positive and encouraging to my son as possible, I felt so dark on the inside and any downtime I had I was just depressed and full of worry, fear, anxiety - just feeling so down. It was really hard for me to sometimes see a way forward, to see that there was hope. Something I heard had a profound effect on me "When there is a shadow in the darkness, there is light."In this episode, I review the actual definitions of the words rise and light, and why they have so much meaning for me. I also unpack the logo, why does the arrow have little lines at the bottom. Those signify roots - and I'll tell you how I had to uproot myself out of the darkness and replant myself anew. For me, that light represents hope; that there is a way forward. No matter how dark things were getting, that shadow reminded me there was light, even if it was a really small amount of light - it was there.This wasn’t the end, there was a way. This ignited me and motivated me to seek resources, put one foot in front of another, to figure out ways to not only work on my mindset but to realize my son needed me more than ever.These were difficult times. I was in so much pain and dealing with so many different emotions, but I was always reminded that I could find a way through this. I could push through the pain toward the light. I hope you can find the light. I hope I can be the light for you. To help you, inspire you, and motivate you to keep going. If this resonates with you, please subscribe to this podcast so you never miss another episode. Share this podcast with someone who needs to hear it, and also DM me @susanfink.rise on Instagram. Let me know if this is helping you I would love to hear from you.
19 minutes | Jan 20, 2021
A Rollercoaster of a Day
If you are a parent with a child with autism and special needs, you totally get this. Each day can be completely different. You never know when the next meltdown or challenging situation will come up. You can anticipate all you want, but your child might have something that triggers a sensitivity, an emotion that shuts them down, something that makes them physically react. It can be challenging to try to handle a situation that might come out of nowhere. It's like being on a rollercoaster every day. Some days are a smoother ride than others, but other days, the ride is pretty intense. You may be pulled right or left, or have an incredibly big dip or multiple loop-de-loops. As much as you might be able to predict them, you never know when your roller coaster might go from a smooth ride to a treacherous one. Not only are you in need to take care of your child, to help, support and figure out a solution to work through the challenge, but you also have to deal with your own emotions. It can be incredibly exhausting and overwhelming emotionally, mentally and even physically. How do you help your child and yourself off of the rollercoaster? How do you make sure this dip, however big or small, doesn't affect the rest of your day? I have let meltdowns and these challenging rollercoaster rides affect my entire day, the rest of my day. It has taken over me and I have gone into a dark place. How do you prevent that? Figuring out your personal toolbox and what you can do to work through these emotions and your own dynamics becomes really important. Being aware and intentional in this is so critical to stay positive. I hope this episode helps you and at least helps you know you are not alone. Follow me @susanfink.rise and DM me. I'd love to hear if this helps you, if you can relate and what you do to get off the rollercoaster, or at least make it a less bumpy ride.
18 minutes | Jan 20, 2021
My Interview with Gary Leavitt, WMEX Radio
I could not believe it when I received a message from Gary Leavitt, radio host for WMEX in the Boston area. He had come across my name and mission with my podcast, Rise with the Light, and was so inspired he wanted me to be a guest on his show. I am so grateful I am able to spread the word about what my mission and purpose is in life, to help other people by sharing my experiences, insights, mindset perspectives and stories my son and I have had throughout our journey with autism. My son was diagnosed when he was 3 years old and in this interview, you can learn about: How my son was a complete surprise - I am divorced and have been a single mom since pretty much when he was conceived. Why I started this podcastWhy I called it Rise with the LightWhat I have learned from my sonWhat the goal is of the podcastTopic examples I will coverBlessings that come with autismMy mission is to help as many families as I can who are raising children with autism or other special needs. I would like to be a resource for families, ecen just to have someone to relate to, to hear something you may need to hear to get through what you're going through. Thank you for listening and follow me @susanfink.rise on instagram or @susanfink.risewlight on facebook.
16 minutes | Jan 15, 2021
Advice for New, Reminders for All
Since starting this podcast, I have been asked about advice I would have for other parents. I have not only learned a lot from my son, but also other parents who have children with autism and special needs, teachers and aids who have helped my son, who have been a part of our 'team.' There is a long list of advice, but I focused on the ones that have been impactful for me and I'd like to pass on. Have you ever walked on the beach and seen the footprints behind you and in front of you? I was walking on the beach a few months ago and those footprints made me think about things I have learned from people who have come before me, people who have been through what I am going through. The footprints in front of me are the ones that I can pass on to others. The advice I can pay it forward, to help other people. We can learn from each other and can help each other. These are the pieces of advice I have for you in this episdoe. Don’t look beyond 6 monthsFocus on what you have control over.Your gut is usually right, it’s your kid and you know when something is offIt’s going to be okayIt’s a marathon, not a sprintBe patientBreatheNever be ashamed to ask for helpFigure out what works for your child and go with itBe flexible to changeCelebrate big and small wins, encourage uplift themAdvocate, advocate, advocateTake care of yourselfNever give upI hope you find this helpful, resourceful, a place where you can find support, advice and just something to relate to. If you find this meaningful for you, please make sure you subscribe to my podcast so you never miss another episode. Please also share this with someone who could use this support. My mission is to help as many people as I can and I can't do that without you. Also, follow me @susanfink.rise and DM me. I would love to hear your feedback about this podcast and other advice you have that I didn't mention. Support the show (https://www.buymeacoffee.com/susanfink.rise)
22 minutes | Jan 10, 2021
Are WE Sleeping?
Children with autism and special needs may have challenges with sleep, falling asleep, staying asleep or sleeping at all, which not only creates more challenges, but also has an impact on the rest of the family. When your children don't sleep, most likely you don't sleep. Before my son was diagnosed, I was averaging about 2 hours of sleep because he never slept well. He had a really hard time napping, falling asleep, staying asleep and being a single mother, it was up to me to help him back to sleep, which meant, I never slept. This really took a toll on me as I also had to work full time and it was often difficult for me to focus at work, I started getting depressed, the sleep deprivation is real. In this podcast, I discuss quite a few things: - We unpack why children with autism and special needs may have challenges with sleep. There are quite a few theories out there and I was able to research and communicate them here. - What can you do to help your child sleep. There are a variety of tactics that can help, but it's also important to remember it's not a one-size-fits-all solution for everyone who has sleep challenges. Really get to know your child's challenges and find a solution that works for him/her and the rest of the family. - What can you do about your sleep, as a parent. There are some things you might need to give up, like I did, and other things to try. Figure out what works for you, to help you get the quality sleep you need. DM me @susanfink.rise - I'd love to hear from you. What are some of the tactics that have helped your family. What are the things you're doing to get quality sleep. Did this episode help you? I'm open to any and all feedback! My mission is to help as many people as I can and I cannot do that without you. Thank you, thank you thank you for listening, thank you for your support in sharing this podcast to help others. And until next time, I appreciate, I empathize, and I am here for you. and...We...can do thisResearch References: https://www.autismspeaks.org/sleephttps://www.webmd.com/brain/autism/helping-your-child-with-autism-get-a-good-nights-sleephttps://pediatrics.aappublications.org/content/143/3/e20180492https://www.verywellhealth.com/autism-and-sleep-issues-4165825
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