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How do we find the true riches of life? In this series of talks we've discussed many fears and pitfalls that men experience - the fear of failure, battling the pressure to perform and 'act like a man.' We compare and compete constantly. This leaves men feeling isolated and alone. If you think about it, a man's greatest fear should never be the fear of failure, but the fear of actually succeeding at something that doesn't really matter. Author and coach Joe Ehrmann said, "At the end of our life, we ought to be able to look back over it from our deathbed and know somehow the world is a better place because we lived, we loved, we were other-centered, other-focused." Every real man should be investing their life in a cause that is bigger than your own individual hopes, dreams and desires. But how do we make the changes necessary to do that? Today is the last of 3 talks that I gave back in 2009 after the stock market crash. These talks became the foundation of my book The True Measure of a Man, which continues to impact many lives, both men and women. Learn how to get Chapter 1 of The True Measure of a Man for FREE here.

Fear is a very interesting emotion. It's created by one thing: uncertainty over the future, and it operates in the realm of our imagination. It's amazing how we play things out in our minds, and most people don't know what to do with it. Fears end up running wild in their imaginations, particularly when they wake up at two or three o'clock in the morning and their minds start whirling. That's when fear runs rampant, and it cripples our lives in a multitude of ways. Interestingly, in both the Old and the New Testament, the number one imperative from God to His people is to fear not. Be anxious for nothing. Do not worry.  So what is it that we fear? Well-known psychologist Larry Crabb says that we all have two basic psychological needs in our lives: The need for security, and The need for significance  What do I mean by significance? It's the belief that your life makes a difference that will last over time. At the end of our lives, each of us hopes that our life was important in some way.  Our need for significance creates an incredible fear of failure in us that we carry around - an incredible fear that we're going to fail somehow out in the workplace or in our relationships.  As you listen to this message, ask yourself these questions: How is God trying to use this in my life? What's He trying to teach me? Maybe for some of us, He's trying to make a spiritual breakthrough in our lives. Today is the second of 3 talks that I gave back in 2009 after the stock market crash. These talks became the foundation of my book The True Measure of a Man, which continues to impact many lives, both men and women. Learn how to get Chapter 1 of The True Measure of a Man for FREE here.

How do you cope when you experience hardship or failure in your life? Going through difficult times or failure exposes our true selves, which leads to more questions:  How do you define and measure your worth as a person?  What are the motivations that drive you?  Where do you get your worth as an individual?  Our culture tells us that our worth is all about performance and success. We've somehow gotten personal achievement confused with our value and worth as people. How different would your life be if you did not fear and worry about what others thought of you, if you never had to impress anyone? Today I'd like to share with you the first of 3 talks that I gave back in 2009 after the stock market crash. These talks became the foundation of my book The True Measure of a Man, which continues to impact many lives, both men and women.  Learn how to get Chapter 1 of The True Measure of a Man for FREE here.

If there were only room for one thing in your life, what would it be?  You know, when we're dead and gone, I can promise you this, people will not remember us for the houses we lived in, the cars we drove or what we accomplished in our business or personal lives. They will primarily remember us for the kind of people we were. Character, wisdom, love, and compassion. And if these qualities are what our lives are about, then we will naturally impact the lives of other people. And in the end, our lives will be known by the impact we have had on other people. What is my primary loyalty in life - what is at the core of who I am? Is it money? Is it prestige and success? Is it the pleasures of life? There's something that is at the core of each of our lives. If it's not Christ, I want to challenge you to give Him preeminence in your life.

What is the desire of your heart for this new year?  Jerry Leachman of Leachman Ministries joins us today with a message to fuel your passions for 2023. How to cultivate an inner circle of wise people that can strengthen you and give clarity to your life. Most men don't even have an inner circle. They just have acquaintances. You need a wing man. If you don't have one, then pray for one. If you've got one, then make sure you're getting regular time with him. Go.  What kind of men are we going to be from here on in? You'd better get in a group. You'd better have a wing man on Omaha beach.  How in the world did the troops get off of Omaha Beach? They banded themselves into small groups of men. They designated leaders and they got off the beach because they were working together. They realized there were only two kinds of men on the beach - dead men and men who were going to get off the beach. Get with some brothers who love Jesus Christ and are serious. Iron sharpens iron. Your fear will go down. They will buffet evil in your life. They will influence you from doing unwise things, and your personal power and your potential for godliness will increase. Find a wingman. The last thing is we must hear God and obey Him. In Psalm 81, it says, "My people would not heed my voice. Israel would have none of me, so I gave them over..." There it is. He abandoned them. "I gave them over to their own stubborn heart to walk in their own council. Oh, that my people would listen to me, that Israel would walk in my ways." Maybe you've lost faith. God can turn your life around. Join Jesus Christ. Put His jersey on and get out on the battlefield with the men. Offer your service to the Lord. Whatever that would mean, He'll tell you, but you've got to be all in now.  Jerry is a favorite speaker at The Center's events. Along with being an associate Chaplain in The NFL for many years, Jerry has done ministry in Guatemala, Scotland, Russia, Europe and Africa as well as all over the U.S. He and his wife Holly have been on Young Life Staff and continue to be involved with Young Life here and also internationally.

Happy New Year! What are your goals for 2023? Are there areas in your life that you want to change? Let's say you play golf, and you decide to go take a golf lesson. The first thing they will do is to film your golf swing. And they do it for one primary reason: to determine what are the flaws in your swing. The only way you're going to get better, the only way you're going to transform your golf game is to recognize your flaws. And here's what's interesting about this - almost every time you take a golf lesson, they point out your flaws. And you are clueless that the flaw exists. We are truly blind to our flaws. The question is, are we willing to take a good hard look at ourselves? That's a very difficult thing for a lot of men, but I believe self-examination is critical if we truly desire to change course and walk down the path that leads to wisdom.

*RE-AIR EPISODE* Merry Christmas! Today’s podcast is taken a Christmas blog that I originally wrote several years ago. I share one of my favorite stories that illustrates the ultimate reason Jesus came into the world. I hope that as we enter this Christmas season, and get caught up in the pageantry and celebration of His birth, that we would not forget that God sent His Son into the world to rescue us from the domain of darkness and from the wrath to come.

How does wisdom impact our lives? Well, it impacts the decisions and the choices we make in life.  Wisdom changes people. It impacts not only what we see, but what we choose. This is of critical importance because our lives end up being the sum of the choices we make as we walk down the path of life. Your life today is the sum of the choices that you've made over a lifetime. The way of wisdom is a path, where you become wise by assuming a certain set of daily practices. As you adopt these practices, these disciplines, and do them over and over again, eventually you become wise. Wisdom is not a door, as most of us would hope it is where we can turn a key and find some secret knowledge. Wisdom is a long, patient quest. It does not come quickly. How must I change my daily practices so that I'm going down a path that leads to a deeper relationship with God? This is the heart of wisdom.

Dr. Mark Gignilliat from Beeson Divinity School, joins us today with a special Advent message from the book of Isaiah. Do you feel overwhelmed by the busyness of the Christmas season? And what about all the chaos of the world?  Just like the story of Charlie Brown's Christmas, things don't seem to be right in terms of what this season is all about. But let me just encourage you to find, by God's grace, some time for reflection, some space, to think and to pray. To open your heart and your mind to the work of the Lord to draw you back to himself again. Because our ultimate identity is wrapped up in this tension that we live in, namely, we're in the old age, but we're already citizens of a heavenly kingdom. Advent does two things for us as a season. Advent pushes us back in time, but it also pushes us to the future because just like the prophets, we too live in the in-between times right now.  We're in the old age, and we're awaiting the new age - but there's an overlap. Some call it the "already" and the "not yet." We're caught in the "already" because we know that Christ has come and brought his kingdom into the world. But we also know that it's "not yet" because that kingdom hasn't been completed yet. This overlap helps us understand the tensions that we live in as Christians. For example, knowing that Jesus has come, and yet also recognizing that Jesus is absent. We feel the reality of Jesus' absence. We pray during this season of advent, Lord Jesus return again. Advent is a gift to us, to call us into a season of repentance, of reflection and of renewal.  Dr. Mark Gignilliat is professor of divinity at Beeson Divinity School, where he teaches courses in Old Testament and Hebrew, and also serves as Canon Theologian at the Cathedral Church of the Advent in Birmingham. Dr. Gignilliat is married to Naomi, and they have four children. Watch video on YouTube here

How do we make wise decisions? It is learned through making mistakes, or is it more than that? ​ I believe that the more clearly we see the reality of the world, the better equipped we are to deal with the complexities of life. But the more our minds are clouded by falsehood, misperceptions, and illusions, the harder it will be for us to determine correct courses of action and make wise decisions. ​  Our view of reality is like a map with which to negotiate the terrain of life. If the map is true and accurate, we will generally know where we are. And if we have decided where we want to go, we will generally know how to get there. But if our map is false, if it's inaccurate, we generally will be lost, stumbling in the darkness. ​  I wonder how many of us are living with false ideas about life - false ideas about reality. I wonder how many of us might have false ideas about God and spiritual reality. One of the things I find when I meet with men is that many have false ideas about God and Christianity. ​ Proverbs tells us that a key to growing in wisdom is to first realize you're not wise - recognizing that there's so much that I don't know yet. That's where you and I need to be. If you believe that you've "arrived", that you are wiser than everybody else - well, you just stepped back into the darkness. ​  So a good place to be is to recognize, "I do like wisdom. I am needy." That's a great place to be. In James 4:6, scripture tells us, “God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.” ​ Then Proverbs 3:6a, 7-11 says, "For the Lord gives wisdom... knowledge and understanding. He holds success in store for the upright, He is a shield to those whose walk is blameless, for He guards the course of the just and protects the way of His faithful ones. Then you will understand what is right and just and fair—every good path. For wisdom will enter your heart, and knowledge will be pleasant to your soul. Discretion will protect you, and understanding will guard you."

Imagine that you're at work and, and things aren't going well in your marriage, or you and your wife are going through a dry season. You're invited to go to lunch with an attractive single woman. And you reason to yourself, there's nothing wrong with going to lunch. There's nothing morally wrong with making that decision.  Several weeks later you're working late on a special project and you're finally finished. All of a sudden the two of you are there at work and you say, well, let's go get a bite to eat. There's nothing wrong with going to dinner. Over dinner, you begin to share the struggles of your marriage. Again, nothing wrong with that, with sharing with somebody what's going on with your marriage. But, we shouldn't be asking, is this right or wrong? We should be asking, "Is this wise?" Is there anything more important in life that we should be pursuing more than wisdom? As we go through this study, I believe that we will all conclude that wisdom has such great value because of its impact on our wellbeing and on the quality of our lives and our relationships.

In your eyes, what is a good man? To be caring? Honest? To put others' needs ahead of your own?  Now, what does it mean to be a real man? Many men would eagerly answer: "a real man takes charge, takes risks." Some might say "a real man walks like a man, talks like a man, and never cries." There's a real disconnect between the description of a good man and of a real man.  Many men today are confused about what it means to be a man. I believe we have false ideas on what it means to be masculine. In today's podcast I discuss some of the traps men fall into, like the fear of failure or what I call the performance trap. These things steal our joy and weigh us down. And guys, if we fathers don’t know this, what do we teach our sons about manhood? Who is the most important person in your life? How would it change you if Jesus were the most important person in your life? I would tell you that it would change you radically, and would set you free from the performance trap and put you on a path to becoming Christlike.

Is there more than one path to God?  You see, all of the world's religions make certain objective truth claims about the nature of God, about spirituality, and most significantly about what happens to you when you die. Either only one of them is true or none of them are true. To say that two or three of them are true or that all of them are true is absurd. It's logically impossible. In today's episode, I am discussing the real reason that the religious pluralist believes what he believes.  Who in this life has the spiritual authority to point us to what is true? I contend that Jesus Christ stands head and shoulders above everyone else.

Who is caring for the caregivers? Today Richard's guest is Phil Reddick, along with a panel of speakers, each giving their perspective on decision making, coping with these issues, grieving, and how to prepare for your loved ones during this critical time. This special seminar was hosted by The Center and YBL 2nd Half. Here is our panel of speakers: Robert Atherton - Sales Executive with Temenos, who has gone through care-giving and loss with both sets of parents Christy Baynes - President and Care Manager of LifeCare Solutions, Inc, who deals with and helps others with these issues daily. Bill Nolan - The Alabama Elder Care Law Firm, LLC, who will discuss thinking through questions of legality and finances. Loring Muir - retired banker, who lost his wife to dementia and just recently remarried. Watch on YouTube here Find out more about The Center: https://thecenterbham.org/ More about YBL 2nd Half: https://ybl.org/2nd-half-ministry   

The most important thing that you bring to your marriage relationship, and really to any relationship, is yourself. And the healthier you are individually, the healthier your marriage will be, the healthier your relationships will be. Your character, your humility, your willingness to be transparent, to be honest, to be vulnerable, your ability to love, the wisdom that you attain, will all ultimately determine the quality of your relationships.  ​ You see, the person you are becoming is most significantly impacted by your relationship with Christ. As men, what do we focus on? We mostly focus on achieving and what we are experiencing through our work, sports, and our activities. Rarely do we stop and think about what God says is most significant.  But in doing so, we are looking for something from our wives that only God can provide. In his book, Sacred Marriage, author Gary Thomas says, ​​“I believe that much of the dissatisfaction we experience in marriage comes from expecting too much from it. We want to get the largest portion of our life’s fulfillment from our relationship with our wives. And they cannot provide it.” ​ The deeper we go in our relationship with Christ, the greater the transformation that will take place in our lives. And consequently, the healthier we will be. What kind of man or woman are you becoming?

What is love? Dr. Mark Gignilliat from Beeson Divinity School, joins us today teaching on the book of Song of Solomon, also called Song of Songs. This book of lyrical poetry is a collection of 10 simple poems, where the couple speaking are freely describing their marital intimacy with joy and freedom. Song of Songs gives us a biblical example of God's beautiful gift of physical intimacy in marriage for a husband and wife. This kind of love is a foretaste of the eternal love we will experience in heaven. Medieval theologian Bernard of Clairvaux had this to say about Song of Solomon, "If anyone desires to grasp these writings, then he needs to love. For anyone who does not love, it is vain to listen to this Song of love, or to read it, for a cold heart cannot catch fire from its eloquence."  Dr. Mark Gignilliat is professor of divinity at Beeson Divinity School, where he teaches courses in Old Testament and Hebrew, and also serves as Canon Theologian at the Cathedral Church of the Advent in Birmingham. Dr. Gignilliat is married to Naomi, and they have four children. Watch video on YouTube here

What would you say to Jesus if He asked you, "What do you really want?" Jerry Leachman of Leachman Ministries joins us today with a message to inspire you to get creative - to get off the sidelines and get onto the field. With the time you've got left, when you're around people - build them up. Give them a lift. Be a blessing. Point them towards Jesus Christ. Every great coach will tell their team during training, "You've got to want it - you can't just show up in a uniform, you've got to want it - love it, eat it, breathe it, drink it. You've got to want it." How will you spend the rest of your life? Jerry is a favorite speaker at The Center's events. Along with being an associate Chaplain in The NFL for many years, Jerry has done ministry in Guatemala, Scotland, Russia, Europe and Africa as well as all over the U.S. He and his wife Holly have been on Young Life Staff and continue to be involved with Young Life here and also internationally.

Do you find yourself in a game of comparison?  Dr. Tim Keller says that we are the first culture in history where men get their sense of worth and significance based on how well they perform and achieve in life.  It’s not that you want to be the greatest coach in America. What you find is that you just want to be a better coach than you, and you, and you, and you, and you. It’s a comparison thing. It’s a competitive thing. And, that’s where we get our sense of worth and value. This creates envy and jealousy. Do you know what envy is? Wanting somebody else’s life. If I want someone else’s life, that means I’m not content with who I am, what I have and what I’m doing. And yet, contentment is God’s will for your life - that we would be content with where He has placed us, with the abilities He’s given us. The question is: "How can I be set free from this trap of comparison that I’m in?”

In the work that I do, I have noticed a frustration in people’s lives. It usually starts in their 30’s and continues on for the rest of their lives. This is the frustration they express, ”Why is there such a gap between the life I’ve aspired to and dreamed of, and the life I’m actually living?” In evaluating my own life, I have asked myself, "Have I come, even partially close, to doing my very best in this life? And, in reality, does anyone ever really do his or her best? If not, why not? How can you change the course of your life? How do you achieve a life of excellence? Today I discuss the importance of learning to use the accumulation of time. Multiply tiny pieces of time with small increments of daily effort, and you can accomplish magnificent things. You can find that life of excellence. But it is crucial to remember this: the most important areas of your life require regular deposits of time as the years go by. If these opportunities are missed, they are lost forever. Since your final destiny has yet to be determined, starting today, why not live an exceptional life and leave a lasting legacy behind?

Today my guest is champion golfer Bubba Watson, who candidly shared about his victories and struggles over the course of his life at our recent Men's Breakfast.  Watson is a multiple major champion, with victories at the Masters Tournament in 2012 and 2014. In February 2015, Watson reached a career-high 2nd place in the Official World Golf Ranking.  Growing up in the small-town of Bagdad outside of Pensacola, Florida, Bubba Watson dreamed of being a champion golfer, and he has more than fulfilled that dream with twelve wins on the PGA Tour, including two Masters. A man of faith, he loves spending time with his wife, Angie, their two children, Caleb and Dakota, and his friends. Bubba is also a big supporter of his hometown, where he is part owner of the AA Pensacola Blue Wahoos baseball team, a car dealership, a candy store, and a driving range. But his family’s support of the Studer Family Children’s Hospital and the opportunity to help improve the community provides him the greatest satisfaction. Bubba Watson’s book Up and Down: Victories and Struggles in the Course of Life can be found on Amazon. Watch on YouTube here