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Red Red Whine
3 minutes | Jan 16, 2022
Poetic grapes (batch 5: hungry plants)
Do you like port-drenched nonsense? Your luck's in, sunshine. Eva's got some booze-fuelled poems for you.This ep does include callbacks to the previous poetry batch, but if you haven't listened - all you need to know is that there was a lotta spud chat.And there will be a proper chaotic, bumper-sized ep coming out this week. So get prepping a bit vat of echo falls. Enjoy! x
3 minutes | Dec 23, 2021
Poetic grapes (batch 4: christmas potatoes)
Ho, ho, ho, we have a sackful of poetry for you. This batch comes from Fella's spud head. So grab a crispy jacket, slather it in baileys and tuck in! Oh, and a very merry Christmas to you and yours.If you'd like to wing us a festive rhyme, follow us on Insta @red_red_whine or on Twitter @redredwhinepod x
41 minutes | Dec 16, 2021
Flirting? More like hurting!
Some people are fiends for the the flirt, warriors of the woo, champions of the chat-up. Then there's Eva. She's less smooth, more friction burn. And she's not happy about it. So pour yourself a bath of mulled wine and tuck into Eva's pulling woes. Caution: this ep was recorded in Fella's cave (not a euphemism), which was an error sound-wise. She has twiddled with some buttons so it's less like you're flying about on a sonic canyon swing, but you'll bloody get what you're given. Also contains: cackles, cock references & Christmas songs (despite being recorded back in October).Oh, and follow us on @red_red_whine on Insta or @redredwhinepod on Twitter if you wanna throw any of your flirting tekkers our way. MUCH LOVE x
2 minutes | Oct 6, 2021
Poetic grapes (batch 3: puppy love)
Fella's been too busy getting gout to edit the meaty ep so here's another round of doggo poetry. (Doggo is short for 'dog shit', but isn't the best art absolute crap?)If you'd like to give us rhyming couplets, follow @red_red_whine on insta and something else on twitter.Much love x
2 minutes | Sep 23, 2021
Poetic grapes (batch 2: village pervert)
There's a proper meaty ep lurking in the depths of Fella's hard drive, but until she fishes it out - here's some poetry. This time, it's Eva's turn to play bard. And sweet baby Jesus, does she play bard hard. Tuck in! xIf you wanna lob us any of your own rhyming couplets, follow @redredwhinepod on twitter or @red_red_whine on insta x
35 minutes | Jun 30, 2021
Compliments? Don't be daft
We're back! And we're bigger (egotistically) and badder (technically) than ever before. So what's the whine? Fella hates compliments, both the serving of and the gobbling of. This episode is probably a therapist's dream (& depending on how seriously they take their duty of care, that dream could be dry or wet).As ever, it contains a lot of nonsense and horribly hearty cackles. Pour yourself a vat of the good stuff and tuck in. If you ever fancy sending us anything but praise, DM us at @red_red_whine or email email@example.com
4 minutes | Apr 11, 2021
How do you like these poetic grapes? (Batch 1)
As if they weren't already insufferable, the Red Red Whine hags have decided to do poetry in between the 'proper' eps.Pour yourself a bath of wine and tuck into the first batch of ridiculous tripe.
38 minutes | Apr 3, 2021
Time's up, pandas
What's black & white and red all over? Panda puree. Unfortunately for Eva, blitzing a vulnerable animal isn't very en vogue. Join the Red Red Whine hags as they bitch about the bears still existing. Fella, formerly known as something else, also reveals all about the name change.Contains cackles and casual references to the clitoris.
36 minutes | Feb 23, 2021
Extinction Rebellion Smellion
As someone who's done sod-all for climate change, Fell thinks she has the right to bash Extinction Rebellion. Eva's not happy about it. Not one bit. Contains big aspersions & little facts.
38 minutes | Jan 17, 2021
Release the clitoris
Did you know Steppenwolf's spurring banger, Born to Be Wild, was written about the clitoris? But for most of time, society's kept the pleasure-station tucked away. Well, not anymore.Join Eva and Laura as they uncover the devil's doorway and what lies beneath it. Contains some medically accurate facts.
54 minutes | Dec 23, 2020
Merry christmas & happy no nativities
Ho ho ho. It's the gift only Eva's mum, Margaret, has asked for - a Christmas special.Join the Red Red Whine hags as they swig mulled wine, slag off nativities & have a good ol' cackle about 2020.Warning: contains shameless bragging about how much fun they've had during a global pandemic & singing. If you'd like some visual context, give @red_red_whine a followAnd if you're a sound-head, here's a lil' xmas beg for you - Eva and Laura have finally invested in some mics but it still sometimes sounds like they're talking into a public bin. If you're an audiophiley person and have the answers to the occasional snap, crackle and pop, puhlease do their listeners (Eva's mum) a favour and email the solution to firstname.lastname@example.org MERRY CHRISTMAS x
33 minutes | Dec 3, 2020
Leave cow titties alone
If cows could be bothered to talk, they'd say 'get your mitts off my tits, you milk-guzzling pervert'. Or at least that's what Eva reckons. She hates milk. Thinks it's wrong, wrong, wrong. So pour yourself a glass of anything but the white stuff and join the Red Red Whine hags for a dairy-free cackle.
40 minutes | Nov 14, 2020
Johnnies be bad
Condoms, condoms, condoms. They save lives, make great sandwich bags and help smugglers slip past customs. But are they really that good for us? Laura's not a fan.Join the Red Red Whine hags as they get real about rubbers.
39 minutes | Oct 26, 2020
Showers are nasty
The Main Marge (Eva's mum) came to town and bitched about showers. But because she's determined to age with dignity, Main Marge didn't fancy joining the Red Red Whine hags for the entire episode. Contains cackles and regional accents.
45 minutes | Oct 18, 2020
Save our music venues
It's a good job Maslow's dead because he'd feel like a right pleb knowing he left music venues off his list of basic needs. Join Eva and Laura as they cackle over the importance of sweaty, crumbling rooms.Trigger warnings: contains loads of sweeping, factual inaccurate statements and nose blowing.
37 minutes | Oct 3, 2020
Bananas aren't best of the bunch
Banana's might've been the unofficial hero of lockdown but what if they're responsible for Brexit? Eva reckons they are, she hates the slippery buggers. Laura's not standing for the slander. Tuck into this year's most needed debate.
38 minutes | Sep 21, 2020
Solo holidays & their baggage
Despite all recommendations, Laura fled to Italy and has the gall to complain about it because she went on her own. Join the Red Red Whine hags as they cackle over getting lost, hostel horrors and grow-your-own pals.
38 minutes | Sep 8, 2020
Rock climbers aren't rocking owt
When a kid spends their time facing a wall, they're a dunce. If an adult chooses to do it, it's a sport. Join Eva and Laura as they bash the sport that's drier than a climber's chalky paws.
43 minutes | Aug 25, 2020
Bikes should be transport not troll-creators
Ever gone for a quick ride and morphed into a hideous creature from Scandinavian folklore? Bikes can be more dangerous for your aesthetic than a dodgy plastic surgeon. Join Eva and Laura as they cackle about cycling catastrophes, world records and unattended excrement.
43 minutes | Aug 9, 2020
Bog off, billionaire spacemen
Landing on the moon might've been a giant leap for mankind but a billionaire flying into space is a galactic shlong-swing. Join Eva and Laura as they slag off obscenely rich gits getting to take a break from Earth when neither of them have access to a garden. (Contains cackles.)
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