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Welcome to a bonus "Ask Me 3" episode with Danielle Shea Tan, Licensed Nutritionist, Integrative Health Practitioner and Author of "52 Small Changes for the Family" Listen as I ask Danielle the 3 questions: 1. I have heard that some foods can impact a child's emotions and attention, can you tell me more about which foods or ingredients and why?  2. If a parent wants to try to change a child's diet to see if behavior improves, how could they go about doing this with a picky eater?  3. Does digestive health have any impact on a child's emotional health? How? Listen as Danielle asks me the 3 questions: 1. I am working to heal my toddler's digestion but she has anxiety and stress about going poop because it has hurt in the past. How can I support her anxiety?  2. At the dinner table, all my children do is complain about what's being served but then they eat it after we've had a blow out. How can I avoid getting triggered by these complaints and diffusing an argument before it starts?  3. My child has to avoid some foods as part of his healing protocol, but my husband and my in-laws still give them these foods and it's setting him back. How can I get them on board?

Sometimes when we see our kids’ negative behavior – when they’re being mean to a sibling, or acting disrespectful – we can tell that it’s because they’re in Yuck. But sometimes our kids act negatively and they don’t seem to be in Yuck at all. But even in those situations when it isn’t obvious, it’s likely that Yuck is still motivating their negative behavior. In this episode, you’ll learn a simple way to know that a child is in Yuck, even if they don’t seem upset. You'll also learn why it’s so important to recognize this “quiet” Yuck and how we should respond when even our kids don’t know why they’re upset.

There are a lot of demands on our time these days. Even though we know we should spend 1:1 time with each of our children, it can feel like a daunting task to find space in our calendar and plan activities for multiple children. In this episode, you’ll learn how to make 1:1 time with children more realistic, even when we’re busy. You'll also learn how to make sure our 1:1 time actually gives kids what they need... and a tip for what to do when kids want more time with us than we can give them!   

Welcome to a bonus "Ask Me 3" episode with Abbey Williams, therapist and founder of of You, the Mother. Listen as I ask Emily the 3 questions: 1. How do I  decide if I should go no contact with my mother?  2. How do you deal with the guilt and shame of being estranged from your mother? 3. How can we support those who are navigating estrangement? Listen as Emily asks me the 3 questions: 1. How do I  manage my child's stress when I am feeling overwhelmed?  2. I find my child's big emotions triggering, how do I deal?  3. How do I  ensure my child has a healthy self-esteem when I struggle with this?

Children with big emotions like things to go the way they imagine they will go. Sometimes this makes them seem like they’re acting entitled -- like the world revolves around them and what they want. How do we help our kids deal with their big feelings when things DON’T go their way so they can become more resilient people…now and in the future? In this episode, you’ll learn two reasons why children with big emotions may seem entitled or self-centered and practical actions we can take to address their long-term needs (instead of their short-term behavior). You'll also learn how using this Long Game strategy helps our children learn to handle a world that isn’t always kind.  

So often we assume that what we’re asking our kids to do – brush their teeth, clean their rooms, not complain when they don’t like the dinner we made  –  is realistic. And this is especially true when we KNOW they’re physically capable of doing what we ask! But when we expect our kids to do those things and they’re consistently not listening, sometimes we do need to re-think our expectations. And this does NOT mean letting them off the hook. In this episode, you’ll learn why, just because our kids can physically do what we ask, that’s not enough to motivate better behavior. You'll also learn the one simple question to ask to determine whether expectations are realistic... and what to if they’re not (to ensure that kids will do the things they have to do!).  Want more?  Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/RachelBailey Free coaching calls: https://rachel-bailey.com/coaching/ "Raising Resilience" membership: https://rachel-bailey.com/raising-resilience-membership/

Welcome to a bonus "Ask Me 3" episode with Emily Siegel of The Connected Mom Life. Listen as I ask Emily the 3 questions: 1. Why does it feel so awkward to make new friends as an adult? 2. How can we make friends in the midst of busy motherhood? 3. But what about moms who are introverts? Listen as Emily asks me the 3 questions: 1. I’m an only child and I feel lost with navigating sibling squabbles. What are the basics? Do I need “house rules”? Do I need defined consequences? How much should I be “policing” their play and their language with each other? They’re boys, so the line always feels so fuzzy to me… 2. I’m prone to just do things for my kid with ADD (age 5) so we can get out the door on time. Are there strategies that can help him better self-manage? I’ve tried the get ready charts with mild to no success. I end up just telling him each thing one by one and it’s driving us both crazy. 3. I’m tend to not push my kiddo with anxiety (age 9) into situations that will test it. How do we as parents figure out when to push and when to let them stay in their comfort zone?

We want our kids to enjoy spending time with each other, but what happens when they spend most of their time together competing and complaining that they didn’t get something the other has? Of course, the more we try to explain WHY our kids don’t always get the same treatment, the more they complain about it. In this episode, you’ll learn why kids regularly compare themselves to others, especially their siblings, what our kids really need instead of reassurance and logic when they feel things are unfair, and simple tips for reducing competition and comparison between siblings for more peace in your home.

It’s our instinct to try to help our children when they are upset, but what do we do when they won’t tell us what’s wrong? In this episode, you’ll learn why a child might not tell us why they are upset, what kids REALLY need from parents when they are sad, anxious, or annoyed, and how to address our own concerns so our kids can build resilience and healthy self-esteem.  

Welcome to a bonus "Ask Me 3" episode with online safety expert Lisa Honold!  Listen as I ask Lisa the 3 questions: 1. How can I reduce screen time at our house without making us all miserable? 2.  Related to devices and technology and social media and online safety, what should I be thinking about and preparing for at different ages and stages? 3.  How can I get my kids to buy into screen time limits and rules we have as a family? Listen as Lisa asks me the 3 questions: 1. How do I intervene when 1 sibling is physically abusing another without making the first one feel ashamed and the victim powerless or "the winner" because they got our help? 2. How do I get my child to help? My 8 yo used to clear her place from late toddlerhood until Covid. Now she leaves dishes, absentmindedly beginning to play or dance or something. (My husband does this also!)… also with laundry, books, toys etc. And reminding them just makes them irritated.  3. How do I get my tween (12yo) to stop lying? 

Many children with big feelings react strongly to situations that seem like no big deal, like when they forget to take a plate away or have to fix one thing on their homework. In those moments, kids get really upset, and they don’t react well when we tell them that it’s no big deal. These sensitive kids often need something different than logic or reason…but what? In this episode, you’ll learn what is beneath “sensitive” children’s big reactions, what they really need in that moment in order to calm down, and how you can foster resilience in your child in a way that also builds self esteem that lasts.  

Many of us believe that when you’re responding to kids’ behavior, you can either be firm OR you can be respectful -- not both, and definitely not both at the same time. Not only is it possible to balance firmness and respect, but it’s actually essential to do so if you want to be a powerful positive influence and foster internal motivation. In this episode, we’ll discuss why balancing these two qualities is necessary, why it’s easier than you think, and what it actually looks and sounds like to respond with firmness and respect, even in challenging situations.

We all know how hard it can be to get our children off of their devices without tears, pushback, or defiance. Even commonly-suggested tips -- like giving kids plenty of warning -- don’t seem to work for kids with big emotions. How can we get our kids to listen to us and get off of their devices when we ask? In this case study episode, you’ll learn why traditional strategies for getting kids off their screens don’t work, what our children need from us (instead of constant reminders), and how Long Game Parenting can teach our children strategies for hard or uncomfortable things with less conflict and a healthier parent-child relationship.  

Welcome to a bonus "Ask Me 3" episode with therapist Jen Hershey!  Listen as I ask Jen the 3 questions: 1. Why do we need to re-think self-help for parents? 2.  Why do parents need better resources than Google? 3.  How can tech reduce parenting stress? Listen as Jen asks me the 3 questions: 1. I have a child who feels strongly and I worry about her socially. At school, she'll only play with one person, and she feels a deep hurt if that person won't play with her. How do I support her? 2. My child with big emotions seems to be ruling the house. How do I know when to rein it in or when do we let it ride? 3. I tend to get really upset at my child... and then remove myself from the situation. How do I not make removing myself the consequence?

Most of us want to be around positive people, but often kids with big emotions aren’t positive. And when they complain about homework…or cleaning…or their siblings, our first instinct is to try to get them to STOP. But trying to get them to stop isn’t often effective.  In this episode, you’ll learn why logic doesn’t work when it comes to kids’ complaints, how to shift our mindset to see complaining as a good thing (really!), and what happens when we listen to complaints with an open mind.

Often kids like to be the first one in line or the best one at a game, but some children with big emotions seem to need to win more than most. Their desire to be first or best leads to frequent competition and hurting others’ feelings. As parents, we often feel helpless to shift this behavior, as very little of what we try seems to have a long-lasting positive impact. In this episode, you’ll learn reasons why children with big emotions need to be first or best, why our current attempts to change this behavior tend not to work, and strategies to help children handle the discomfort of things not going their way.

When we’re raising a child who feels things strongly – a child who is anxious, or sensitive, or who gets really angry when things don’t go their way – we often need relief. And while I’m hopeful that parents find some relief on this podcast, I’ve also learned that many parents want even more personalized support than the podcast offers… but have not been in a financial place to afford my programs the way I have been offering them. In this episode, you will learn why I am confident that I can help both you and your children feel peace and relief, why I’m so passionate about doing so, and how I’ve made the Long Game tools and strategies more accessible than ever before.

It’s natural to assume that if things are bad now, they always will be – that if our child hates doing homework now, they will always have a hard time with anything difficult (including keeping a job in the future!). But even if those fears make sense, they tend to make situations worse. In this episode, you’ll learn why, even when we know it doesn't help, almost every parent still focuses on the bad things that might happen in the future. You'll also learn what happens in our children’s brains when we use a negative approach to motivate them... and how we can use Long Game strategies to teach our children how to create a more successful future.  

It can be frustrating to have to regularly remind our children to do the things they need to do, like clean up after themselves in shared family spaces. How can we motivate our kids to complete their chores…without frustration, yelling, or blowups? In this case study episode, you’ll learn why big-feeling kids may struggle to do what you ask consistently. You'll also learn two simple actions you can take to set your child up for long-term success, and how to work WITH your child -- not against them --  to increase responsible behavior, improve self-esteem and strengthen your relationship.

Welcome to a bonus "Ask Me 3" episode with Accountability Coach Jessica Smith! Listen as I ask Jessica the 3 questions: 1. What is one simple change that you've made to your eating habits that has resulted in the most/best benefits?  2.  How do I get/stay motivated to workout or eat healthy?  3.  What is one thing you're currently working on to improve my own health & wellness? Listen as Jessica asks me the 3 questions: 1. How do I help my kids have a healthier, positive body image? 2. What tips do you have for picky eaters? 3. What is one simple shift a parent can make in the morning or evening routine to make it more smooth?