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Queen for a Damn Day
59 minutes | May 28, 2018
S10.E09: Knee Deep
IN A WORLD WITHOUT SCRIPT EDITING, Roseanne finally settles on knee surgery, the basement floods, and Darlene meets Art Alexakis in 1865. SJ and Debbie talk about how this season could have been improved, and their hopes for next season. Our Show Notes totally Sparkle and Fade (sorry).
75 minutes | May 25, 2018
S01.E13: Bridge Over Troubled Sonny
Crystal finally gets mourning her husband Sonny out of her system, and Darlene gets nicotine into hers. SJ reminiscences about how D.A.R.E. made her say “yes” to drugs, and Debbie bazooka-barfs the last thing you’d want to. SJ and Debbie agree that everyone is suckily insensitive to sweet Crystal. Our Show Notes will try not to drive you over the Monument Street Bridge.
70 minutes | May 21, 2018
S10.E08: Netflix & Pill
Your queens tangent off into Klondike history (??), maiden/mother/crone as seen on the show, and fishnet wearing tips BECAUSE PATRIARCHY. We're kind of relieved this season is winding down. Our Show Notes have more of a saloon-whore vibe than a riverboat one. An anniversary, prescription pill addiction, and a horribly degrading job for Darlene – yep we call that comedy gold on our show. With so many families struggling to make ends meet it can be hard to go on trips and celebrate. The scene of Roseanne and Dan seeking a night at a local hotel, only to be refused and mistreated is hilarious, but also painfully real. Tom [sic] Bagley was sensational as the rude hotel manager. — Michael Fishman, Facebook
71 minutes | May 14, 2018
S01.E12: The Monday Thru Friday Show
Roseanne demands another shot at a honeymoon and Jackie finds a compromise that both Dan and Roseanne can live with. SJ and Debbie talk good parenting, big pants/hair/shoes, and their paper routes. You can see the Show Notes for this episode also!
88 minutes | May 13, 2018
S10.E07: Go Cubs
Did you want a recap of Go Cubs? You’ve come to the wrong place. The writers emotionally manipulate us, Roseanne peers through a rake, and we hear the NPR-ian dog whistles embedded in the script. SJ demands to know where Armani is!! Debbie and SJ are out of their minds for various reasons and can’t really stay on topic. NO REFUNDS! (We do accept coupons from other stores.) Maaaybe just look at the Show Notes instead?
60 minutes | May 11, 2018
S01.E11: Canoga Time
A rummage sale gets everyone horny/shove-y/throwing shit in an episode that feels like a pack of skits. Debbie and SJ don’t love the caveman attitudes on display from our leading men. Debbie cracks the case of “what is this plot ripped off from?” (see show notes for answer) and SJ talks about partying with the cocaine lesbian mafia as a teen. You'll wish you threw our Show Notes onto the lawn!
54 minutes | May 7, 2018
Say buh-bye to Dwight after this Saturday. Don’t worry, someone else will come in to take his sexist place. Your Queens go waaay too deep on the logistics of the truck bet, who Bill Sadler looks like, and the terrible writing around our ladies and what they could afford at the mall in the 80s. Our Show Notes will really pop your hood, check them out!
68 minutes | May 6, 2018
S10.E06: No Country for Old Women
The Conners now have four generations under one roof and the center cannot hold. Meanwhile, Mark is delightful UNLESS you're the one who should be parenting him correctly, DARLENE. Debbie talks about the logistics of setting a table scene for filming, SJ marvels over fashion basics, and are marzipan villages even actually a thing?? (NO.) Our Show Notes are here for you, even if they need a little help getting their compression socks on.
76 minutes | May 4, 2018
S01.E09: Dan's Birthday Bash
Dan has a birthday and a reckoning with a Bobo who lets him know he’s not a youngster anymore. Our Queens discuss street fisticuffs, the 1950s sitcom influences on the show, and how 14-year-olds don’t dress like Becky anymore. Our Show Notes are a steroid case that thinks you should KEEP IT DOWN and listen to your little woman.
48 minutes | Apr 30, 2018
S01.E08: Here's to Good Friends
Roseanne channels her inner drag king for Crystal the Doormat, and Jackie catches Booker being a total fuckboi. Queen Debbie and Queen SJ occupy themselves with overthinking the logistics of bringing elaborate gelatin desserts to work, real snow days and fake TV snow, and SJ reveals her stunning ignorance about WHAT EVEN IS FOOTBALL? Have a skosh of a gander at our SHOW NOTES! SJ was a LEETLE overcaffeinated for this ep. Poor Debbie!
51 minutes | Apr 27, 2018
S01.E07: The Memory Game
Dan commissions a family photo for his and Roseanne's 15-year high school reunion, and a secret from the deep, dark, peppy past is uncovered. Queen Debbie and Queen SJ debate how slutty velvet is, period inequality, and if Roseanne can actually sing (spoiler alert: NO). We'll shake our pom poms at you until you check out our Show Notes!
53 minutes | Apr 23, 2018
S01.E06: Lovers' Lane
Roseanne orchestrates a bowling night which gets Jackie closer to Booker, Becky closer to Chip, and Crystal closer to being Queen SJ's spirit animal. Queen Debbie and Queen SJ talk about American idioms, how graceful Dan is, and the politics of Booker's weird sex-bet. Please note that SJ's levels were just TOO DARN HIGH so is clipped a little at points. Sorry for the sketchy sound quality!Also, please partake of our show notes, which are not riddled with fungus (unlike Dan's bowling shoes).
68 minutes | Apr 20, 2018
S10.E05: Darlene v. David
In a whiplash-inducing, exposition-dump of an episode, both David AND Bev return. David and Darlene race through some emotional cabbage. Er, baggage. If Queen Debbie and Queen SJ sound a little underwhelmed...well...if the jazzy, STD-riddled turban fits. Lettuce entertain you with our Show Notes, stay lentil you're through. BECAUSE NOW THEY'RE DOING VEGAN JOKES. GET IT? DO YOU??
55 minutes | Apr 16, 2018
S10.E04: Eggs Over, Not Easy
Becky gets some bad news about her future as a surrogate. SJ and Debbie consider aspirational dog names, being a young old person, and the complicated relationships of the Conner women. Check out our Show Notes for this episode!
61 minutes | Apr 11, 2018
S01.E05: Radio Days
Dan and Roseanne enter a songwriting contest to win a prize, and Roseanne ponders her past as an aspiring writer and revolutionary. Jackie tries to decide if she wants to hit it and quit it with the old Bookerino. Please note that we try to get the new episode out midweek, but we've been hit by a bad case of school (SJ) and travel (Debbie) this week. We are releasing this one early.Check out our show notes for this ep!
47 minutes | Apr 9, 2018
S01.E04: Language Lessons
Dan is out of work but he and Roseanne are having fun playing house. Meanwhile, Dan loses patience with Jackie's sody pop-purloining, couch-surfing ways. Debbie and SJ take a hard look at the extreme drama that was boiling behind the scenes by the time episode four was filming. Have a look-see at our show notes for this episode!
38 minutes | Apr 6, 2018
Dan and Roseanne keep romance alive with a date night where they come face-to-face with a divorcee. Meanwhile, the kids are home alone until Aunt Jackie shows up. Queen Debbie and Queen SJ were excited that there was a moment on TV where a hard-working mom was allowed to talk about her hopes and dreams that extended beyond her daily drudgery. You can see scenes from this episodes and most of the things we talked about in the Show Notes, like wild 80s patterns, Alicia Goranson's blog, vintage Avon, and more!
72 minutes | Apr 4, 2018
S10.E03: Roseanne Gets the Chair
We do a deep dive into Harris and our own teenage dumbassery, shoplifting, how significant a woman's muffin can really be, and who John Goodman looks like this week. Don't forget to check out our Show Notes!
28 minutes | Apr 2, 2018
S01.E02: We're in the Money
Subterfuge is the name of the game when Dan scores a drywall job and the grownups have to decide if there's any money left over for a splurge. Don't forget to check out our Show Notes for this episode.
68 minutes | Mar 29, 2018
S10.E01: Twenty Years to Life & E02: Dress to Impress
Debbie and SJ discuss the return of Roseanne after 21 years, how we feel about the characters now, hot button issues the show brings up like gender fluidity and expression, and the current political climate as expressed by Roseanne and Jackie. Queen Debbie thinks Queen SJ is a fool for thinking that Roseanne might move center over the course of the show, and she's probably right. Buckle up, we've got a lot to talk about! Check out the Show Notes for this episode!Also, after we recorded, we discovered ABC is airing the episodes out of order. We may relabel eps or make mention of this in the future.
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