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The Self Development Podcast
61 minutes | Jun 8, 2021
Episode 133: Rhinos and Cattle and Diversity
This is a great, light-hearted way to profile people. And Stephen always tells it so well it feels like it should be in a book.Rhinos and Cattle - One is not good, and one is not bad. None of us are all one or the other – it’s a spectrum that can help us to understand ourselves and those around us – it can help to improve how we work with others.Short description below - and scroll down for the first 10 minutes of the transcript.Loads more from Stephen on www.coachpro.onlineFull transcript available on www.rhinoconsulting.nl/podcastAny thoughts or suggestions - let us know at firstname.lastname@example.orgThe story is a little playful – you hear it and you immediately start putting yourself into one of the 2 camps – and then you start looking around you and doing the same. Your whole family and team are suddenly full of horns and black spots.The spectrum so colourfully described is also a useful way to characterise yourself and those around you – by labelling you and others you can start to manage the relationships around you better – you to them, and them to you. There are many other charts that allow you to profile people – but this one I found to be useful. There are others too.The second part is the learning to appreciate that a balance is needed. Without a team that can covers all skills and viewpoints you will be weaker. By acknowledging the different type of animals around you, there is now an understanding that you should manage the different personalities better. In the future you can use this knowledge to build an optimum team.This move from “seeing the differences and denying them” - to toleration – to appreciating them - to actively seeking out complementary skills - is a valuable skill to learn and consciously employ.Lastly, it’s an important learning that can be applied to other spectrum and differences. Gender, age, cognitive models, backgrounds, roles… there is a huge and important movement to diversity and inclusion. It’s important that everyone understands and appreciates thatThose that are different are not be tolerated. They are to be appreciated and valued. They are strengthening your team and improving results if you embrace the perspective they can offer.Those that are different- you were brought in to be different. Fitting in is a common and normal habit – it makes sense. Find a way to fit in by being you. Keep your unique perspective. Be authentic – that’s the real value.Transcript (AI generated so forgive the typos)Warren Hammond 02:13Today, as always, interesting topic, the Rhino and Cattle model. Now, I'm going to be working really hard not to say too much in this because this is a story I have abused and abused so many times, Stephen, that it's going to be good to get it from the horse's mouth so to speak. So let's get into it. The Rhino and Cattle model? What is it? Stephen Gribben 02:40In essence, what it is is a Profiling framework. It'll help you to see yourself and understand others more as a process so that you can authentically connect, engage, understand and appreciate both yourself and others intelligently, rather than just see yourself or others through an emotional prism. Warren Hammond 03:03So I just thought it was a nice wildlife story, but already you've come up with lots and lots of four syllable words. So it's a profiling framework. So how I think about it, and you tell me which bits are right and which bits are nearly right, let's put it that way, this is a way of looking at yourself, looking at other people, and helping you to see the differences between them without it being good or bad. Stephen Gribben 03:31Yes it's to understand those differences, and accept those differences. Appreciate those differences, be okay with those differences and value them and expect them as opposed to seeing them and judging them on the basis of whether you like them or not, or whether you agree with them or not. So that it gets beyond either asking people to be more like you, or feeling the pressure for you to have to be more like them. Warren Hammond 04:00And you use the word already 'intelligent'. We talk a lot about when you're thinking intelligently it is more complex and nuanced versus emotionally which tends to be binary, black and white, good or bad, hero or zero. This is part of that. Intelligently looking at somebody and seeing the many different shades of of skills in them. They're not good or bad. They are just different. Unique. Stephen Gribben 04:28Yeah, if you're going to have relationships and you're going to be of influence then you first have to connect. So you need to know where people are to be able to connect. What this allows you to do, even with this profiling we're going to use the caricatures of a rhinoceros and cattle. This isn't, then, to label people as either being Rhino or Cattle. But to understand if they are more Rhino or more Cattle, so that we can define more intelligently where they are, as we did with Trust before. There's emotional trust, which is 100% or 0%, the 99 boxes in-between is where intelligent trust sits. Well, when we're profiling people, in terms of their characteristics, this is an objective process to see where they are on a scale, as opposed to just putting them in a box. Warren Hammond 05:22This makes sense. We think about workplaces at the moment, we've got so many different generations, and then there's ages, there's genders, there's so many different spectrum at the moment in play, I can see that this is going to be useful for that. So firstly, internally, why is this important in terms of my own self development? Stephen Gribben 05:48In terms of your own self development, and the four pillars of that are your Self awareness, Self confidence, Self management, Self determination. Having a greater self awareness of where you are on the spectrum, from know the extreme Cattle to the extreme Rhino, where you are helps you become more self aware of where you are, what's important to you, what works for you, what matters to you, how you see the world, it reinforces that self awareness. It then also supports that self confidence that if you're more Rhino, it's okay, and it's pretty cool to be a Rhino, and if you're more Cattle, it's okay and pretty cool to be Cattle. So it's having that Self-Confidence that I know who I am, I know what I'm about, I'm okay with that. Warren Hammond 06:37So that profiling, that naming you talked about before, is when you name something, it's easier to manage it. Using these profiles of Rhino and Cattle help you to name and identify and acknowledge certain characteristics about yourself. And as you said, once you become aware of it, be absolutely fine about it, then, okay. Stephen Gribben 06:56Yeah, because it helps you get beyond the 'is that a good thing or a bad thing? Is that a strength or weakness, is it right or wrong? It's an objective Profiling. So you can see it is what it is, and that's okay. And if you've got that self awareness, of what you are and you're confident then of what you are more of, then you can move on to that self management. Which is managing then how you communicate with yourself, how you connect with yourself, how you position things with yourself, to your natural strengths, and tendencies. And then the last element is about self determination. You're then more empowered, more in control of being able to say 'what do I want to be? What is my full potential? What do I want to develop? Being successful by being you. Now knowing and understanding more about who you are on that profile allows you then to determine what success would look like for you, what happiness would look like for you, what health and fulfilment would look like for you, and being able to determine that rather than wait to hear what others think is best for you. Warren Hammond 08:06So in this one, we're talking rhinos and cattles, it doesn't matter where you are on it. But once you understand which you are, you can then use that to your advantage to determine what's going to happen next. You don't have to pretend to be something else, this is who you are. And that's enough. And that's good enough already. Stephen Gribben 08:27Yeah. And as I say, it takes you beyond the labelling of good or bad, right or wrong, strong or weak. It's just an objective, this is where you fit. In your opinion, this is where you fit and therefore, let's start from there, rather than the where am I not, who am I not, looking at the gaps all the time. It is building upon what's there. And then you take that externally to others, So if the self development is your piece in it, the external benefit of this is then it helps you build stronger relationships, authentic, genuine, sincere relationships, you being you, and them being them. It also allows you to connect. You don't have to be the same to connect. It's not about having something in common. It's about creating a connection. And therefore with that connection, you can be far more influential, you can add more value, you can make more of a difference. And the difference is it's of value to that other person. Because you have that connection. You will also have greater harmony through this, and importantly, less conflict. Because you're not forcing your way of looking at the world onto someone else who sees it differently. You will understand and expect they're going to see this differently and therefore they're going to respond to this differently. And so you can anticipate that more. Warren Hammond 09:48So by looking at their qualities you see they're different. You don't judge it as good or bad. You just understand it's different and knowing it's different, you know that there will be a different response. a different reaction, a better way of talking to them. And therefore, that's that, as you talk about many times, that connection is you can't influence from afar, you can't build trust from afar, you have to have that connection. So this enables you. This is one of the basic building blocks then. This
56 minutes | May 25, 2021
Episode 132: Satisfaction & Loyalty
Satisfaction and loyalty – the holy grails for relationships – personal, professional, internal and external.The two are mentioned in the same sentence all the time – like a double act in comedy, foods that complement each other or a famous sporting duo – but they’re not necessarily found together all the time .Satisfaction is an attitude – Loyalty is the behaviour. People may be satisfied but not loyal – and loyal people may not be always satisfiedOne way I considered it was pizza delivery– I’m usually satisfied with any of them and will happily order for any of the 4 nearby – I’m not particularly loyal to any one brand. Someone shopping for a car may start at their favourite brand – Audi – and end up buying BMW. But in their heads, they remain a loyal Audi customer and will go back to Audi first next time.Stephen walks us through this model that looks at different components that make up Satisfaction and Loyalty. Once you understand them you can manage them. And then you can decide which relationships you want to build up into ones that are full of satisfaction and loyalty.Any comments or thoughts: email us at email@example.comMore great models at www.coachpro.onlineFull transcript and blog:https://rhinoconsulting.nl/episode-132-satisfaction-amp-loyalty Thanks for your support so far - please subscribe and share The first 15 minutes of the podcast is transcripted below - Warren Hammond 00:56Welcome back podcats, to another episode of our podcast. This one's a good one. I always say that, this one is a Loyalty and Satisfaction or Satisfaction and Loyalty. I'm always tempted to put in 'Customer' before that, it just seems to be one of those phrases that we always hear; Customer satisfaction and Customer loyalty, we spend ages talking about it. It's one of the key metrics for business success. That is covered and it's talked about, but also how we can take this into other areas of our lives. internal and external. So it's looking at the whole relationship. So it's good, there's a model, there's a six point guide at the end. So there's lots to take away. Any thoughts questions, give us a shout, firstname.lastname@example.org or find us on LinkedIn. There is a full transcript available for these so please look that up. And on www.coachpro.online itself there's loads more models and frameworks that you can use. So let's get straight into it. I’ll be back at the end with some brief comments. Here comes the cheesy music.Warren Hammond 02:11So here we are. Normal call signs, Edinburgh, can you hear me?Stephen Gribben 02:16Loud and clearWarren Hammond 02:17Loud and clear? It's not a surprise anymore. But when we started this a year ago, all the zoom and the video conferencing, it felt that this was almost magic, it was almost wizardry, the fact that we could hear each other, even though we were countries apart now is the most normal thing in the world. Anyway, today, we're discussing satisfaction, and loyalty. Now I know I've got in my head while I think of loyalty and satisfaction. And I'm immediately thinking of customers and NPS etc. And I also know that I always think about these things too small. So let's go to Stephen and get a formal definition that we can kick ourselves off with. So how should we think about satisfaction and loyalty? What's the definition we should be using Stephen? Stephen Gribben 03:08Well, satisfaction is about attitude. And loyalty is about behaviour. Stephen Gribben 03:16Typically in relationships, whether that is as a customer relationship, or a personal relationship, or professional relationship, satisfaction is the attitude, how you feel and how you judge; loyalty's about behaviour, which is about what you then do. Warren Hammond 03:34That's a good definition. Because I do you think that sometimes we use satisfaction in a broader way. But that makes sense. And so this is an attitude, this is how you're feeling about something. And loyalty is then how you're demonstrating that feeling that behaviour. Stephen Gribben 03:51Yeah, typically, this is used in the concept of customer and there's value in that. But you'll get customer satisfaction, which is based largely on your attitude of what's happened. But that doesn't necessarily always lead them to customer loyalty. So you'll get people who will say satisfaction versus loyalty, rather than satisfaction AND loyalty. And ideally, what you're looking for in a relationship is satisfaction and loyalty. Warren Hammond 04:19You're I mean, maybe it's because he's in the middle of the day. You know, we're not sitting in a pub with a beer or a glass of wine. Because if you were to talk about loyalty and satisfaction in a social setting, you do automatically think about relationships, but it seems very different when you think about customer relationships. But how you just said this is attitude and behaviour. Yeah, it's different relationships where both of these things are important. Stephen Gribben 04:48But if we hold on to that concept of customer, and the challenge that we've all got is how wide is your concept of customer. So, who do you consider or who could you consider to be a customer. I've used a model with clients for years, called the Client Box. I use this at home as well. In the client box, everything becomes kind of automatic for me, I know the parameters to work in. I know what I can get away with, what I cant get away with. I know what's good enough and what's not good enough. So for a client, in that client box, it becomes very clear on what professional and standard looks like. However, I can leave home in the morning and be asked what time will I be home at tonight? And my answer could be, Well, it depends on what messages I get through what calls I have to do. What else comes in during the day. Probably sometime, it could be as early as four could be as late as eight'. Because at home, I haven't put my family in that client box. If I was to say to a client, the client said, Could you be there on Tuesday, and what time will you be here, and I say to him sometime between four or eight. And then they'll say 'well, do you want to just not bother coming along until you can tell us what time you're going to be here'. So sometimes putting things in the client box gives you absolute clarity on how you should be dealing with something in that relationship. And it's not for me to pretend my family are clients, no disrespect, they're a lot more to than clients, but sometimes they deserve that attitude and behaviour that my clients benefit from Warren Hammond 06:27That firm border that you'd put around that. Even when you say the client box in my head, I've got that visual of a thick black frame, you know, around it, which you don't get through, Stephen Gribben 06:39We do this with family members. In business, we might do it with suppliers, we don't treat them as clients or we don't treat our colleagues the way we would treat clients. And people deserve to be treated as a client. Warren Hammond 06:52Okay. So this is a relationship then with way more than just intimates or customers, this is about satisfaction, as an attitude and loyalty as a behaviour, all around us. So this is a lot bigger already, as I'm getting accustomed to. So we talk a lot about personal growth, and especially about self development. So how does satisfaction and loyalty, and understanding that, fit within the whole self development philosophy? Stephen Gribben 07:26Well, as you know, the four pillars in self development are self awareness, self confidence, self management, and self determination. And what self development is about is focusing on your strengths and what you're really good at, and building upon those so that when you take on those gaps or areas of weakness that you want to improve, they become less challenging, and you're more authentic in it. So in terms of self awareness, what this is about is becoming more aware of the level of satisfaction and loyalty, so the attitudes and the behaviours that you want to foster or to have within relationships, both personally and professionally. So becoming more aware of what makes a relationship have satisfaction and loyalty to the level that you want. Warren Hammond 08:15So this is part of then understanding what the terms are the satisfaction and loyalty which we touched on which we'll go through more, but also understanding when you should be aware of satisfaction and loyalty, that's that whole self awareness thing. Okay, Stephen Gribben 08:29This is self awareness so you're consciously aware of what a good relationship looks like. So that you get beyond saying, we've got a great relationship or with that person I don't have such a good relationship, or you know, better relationships than others. It's having that self awareness, to be more conscious of why certain relationships are at certain stages. So you become more aware, therefore, you're already more empowered. Warren Hammond 08:55Love that. And that is the consciousness that we talk about as well. You're owning it. It isn't something happening to you, you've actually can see it, you're noticing it, you're acknowledging it, and therefore you've got a chance of working to make it better. Okay? So self awareness is the first plank, Stephen Gribben 09:11Then self confidence. And self confidence is making sure that if you're aware of what's going to drive your satisfaction and loyalty, having the confidence to making sure you're bringing that all the time. Consciously aware of what you contribute, based upon your strengths, what you're good at. What are you good at that drives satisfaction, loyalty to the level that you're wanting to either give it or receive it. You're, therefore, getting those great relationships by being you rather than trying to force the great relationships by pretending to be something or someone else. Warren Hammond 09:49And that confidence then, and you talk about this before is, this isn't fake confidence. It isn't a fake w
50 minutes | May 11, 2021
Episode 131: 3 Box Model - Deny, Fight or Use it
What is the 3 Box Model?Philosophies and religions both talk about the concept that we can decide how we feel about events – it’s our choice on how we react. This model takes that concept and helps you to do precisely that. It is a framework that allows you to consider everything that has happened, is happening and may happen and supports you in deciding how you are going to react and to use it.The three box model is a framework where you can consciously frame what has, what is or will happen in your personal or professional life. Why this is importantWe can spend so much time and energy trying to bury things, pretend things are different, that we are different and when we do this, all that time and energy doesn’t move us forward. It doesn’t make us happier. By taking control of what is in each box we get to choose what to spend our time on. Important in that is the ‘we”. We take control. Nobody else. We get to determine what we want. We choose what will take our energy, time and focus.Will a particular situation work against you, be a constant battle to control or actually work for you?You get to choose.This self determination is a key part of Self Development.This model is a new tool in your mental tool box. This can help you to prepare yourself for a better outcome – allow you to take more control over what is happening and what is going to happen next. This means a more confident version of ‘You’. More authentic. A ‘You’ who is spending their energy better, leading to a more successful, happier version of you. You get to channel issues and experiences so you get better returns and a higher self confidenceStephen walks us through the model and the 3 boxes - Deny It - Fight it and Use it.When Stephen first introduced me to this model there was an immediate impact - understanding the framework allowed me to make sense of some things that I was unable to nail down before.Once we understand that there are 3 boxes with issues sitting within each it helps to make sense about some of the things that are working really well for us – and why we sometimes seem to struggle. This understanding on its own is a confidence builderThen there is the knowledge that the boxes remain where they are – but that issues can be moved from box to box. And you can make that happen. You can choose which issue is something you’re going to move up the chain and improve your own self confidenceAs you get more comfortable with the model you get to think more strategically - Which situations work against you? Be a constant battle to control? Or actually work for you? Which situations is it time to move? Which do I need to acknowledge are there?Some notes:1 Naming – naming issues and situations is the start of objectifying them. Once it is a a named object, it feels more controllable. Visible. Manageable.2 Acknowledge it – understand that it is in a box already. Something you are already denying, fighting against or using.3 Choose what you want to move. There will always be something in each of the 3 boxes. Some will remain where they are for a long time. That’s ok – you’re choosing the order. Consciously.4 One step at a time. Don’t try to jump from Deny straight to Use it – ‘Fight It’ is a good staging post to get there.5 Good things count too. Acknowledging and appreciating that good things live in the boxes too. Don’t deny your own part in your successes. Don’t fight against recognising your skills. This will lead to a drop in your confidence and the Imposter syndrome. Accept and Use what you did and let it fuel your next success.Any thoughts or comments let us know at email@example.comFull Transcript athttps://rhinoconsulting.nl/episode-131-three-boxes-deny-fight-or-use-it First 10 minutes transcript below Warren Hammond 01:07Welcome back Podcats to another conversation with me Warren, and CEO of CoachPro Stephen Gribben. Now, this is a good one. This one is about The Three Boxes. That's the best way for me to describe it, you hear me struggling to try and come up with a decent description later. But in my head is just the three box model. Very powerful. For one it's a simple model, which we all know is always useful. This can change how you look at anything that's ever happened to you and everything that's going to happen to you. So it's an important part of the optimal appraisal process, and the whole self-development. We have the choices. The choice of whether we're going to spend energy fighting these things, or denying these things, or using these things. Not going to say too much, you'll quickly see how simple this model is but how profound its influence can be. You'll enjoy this one. There's lots of good stuff in it. Warren Hammond 02:07As always, there'll be some notes, we're doing a full transcript now. So you can read along, if that helps. Blogs, there's the models on the different websites. So get involved, get in touch, if there's anything else you'd like us to cover, if there's any questions that you have. Email is firstname.lastname@example.org. Anyway, let's get going. Here comes cheesy music. Warren Hammond 02:39Today, as always, is a good topic. And how I think about this is the framework that it's described in. The three box model is how I think about it. And I use this and think about it in so many different ways. And I'm trying to think what is the perfect description for anyone listening to it. And the best I've come up with so far is this is a perfect model for better reframing of your past. Now, that's doesn't sound like the title of an album. But we'll go with it so far. So let's get to the expert, Stephen. Three box model. What is it? Explain to everybody who can't see into my head, what exactly is the three box model? Stephen Gribben 03:32The three box model is a framework where you can consciously frame what has, what is or will happen in your personal or professional life. Warren Hammond 03:49Okay, so this isn't just past then. So I've just said past. This is about today, what's happening today, what could happen tomorrow, this is about how you look at anything around you and think how do I put this into a better context? Stephen Gribben 04:02Yeah, it's a framework for empowering you to make that conscious choice and own where you place things that happen to you or things that you make happen in a way that has optimal benefit. So rather than things just happening to you or occurring, you get more of a sense of ownership, more of a self-determination of where that's going to go, how that's going to work for you, what you can use it for, how you're going to make that optimal. Whether it is labelled a good thing or bad thing or an okay thing to begin with emotionally, you making that conscious decision to then say I'm going to decide what I'm going to do with that. Whether that is a thing that's happened in the past, whether it's something that's happened to you just now or whether it's something that's on its way. Warren Hammond 04:53Okay. This is already bigger, as always. So this is anything that's going on around me, me, thinking in the self-development, consciously owning, this is the part this is going to play in my future outcome. This is how I decide how important or how I'm going to use this for whatever my future outcome is. Stephen Gribben 05:21Yeah, and look, this can be for the smallest practical things. I tend to first of all get to introduce this with clients, when they describe something as a Make or Break. And that's when I feel well, you really don’t want to leave that chance do you? Warren Hammond 05:37Okay. I think of this a lot when I think back, especially about past experiences, especially bad experiences. So we're talking in sales teams and stuff, then there's a way of recontextualizing, again, another awful word, about anything awful that's happened to us. Let’s say a bad Q or a bad month, or a bad loss of a client. This is something that this model can be used to reframe it and make it better. But you're saying this is not just bad things from your past. This can be anything from today, from tomorrow, as well as from yesterday. Stephen Gribben 06:16I think most people would accept we naturally see, or create, rather the opportunity to learn from adversity, learn from mistakes, in order to improve things that haven't gone the way we'd wanted. I've always looked upon that and said, Well, what if we could also learn from our successes? What if we could build from a winning position? What if we could use the victory and use the great result, to learn from that also so that we can recreate and enhance that. So this is not a fix? This is a solution. This is a way of looking at the things that happen and get beyond that label of right wrong, good, bad, strong, weak, things I wanted, things that I didn't want or liked or didn't like, and saying, well, that thing, which box is it currently in and which box do I want to start putting it in. Warren Hammond 07:16This is great. This goes straight to the heart, then of this whole self-development chat that we talk about is you know, the building on the strengths, that conscious ownership, there's looking at everything around you and deciding what you're going to make work for you. So where do we get started on this in the three boxes, Stephen Gribben 07:35First of all, as you've said this fits with self-development, and this is the 'why should you put things in boxes, first of all. There is a value in putting things in boxes because you objectify it at that stage. And therefore you can look at it more objectively, more intelligently, you can see it as a thing, rather than wrapped up into a whole mess of stuff. So what this is about in terms of self-development, this will allow you to become more self-aware that things happen and accept that things happen, good, bad, indifferent. It will give you more self-confidence and be able to say, I can take control back, I can be in charge of this, I can
70 minutes | Apr 27, 2021
Episode 130: Value Creation Model - Make Your Value Land with Impact
What is Value? We sometimes define value by what it isn’t – cost, the price tag – but what is it? The definition Stephen introduces here is: Value is how you define importance or worth. Importantly – Value is in the eye of the beholder. It’s what the other person thinks that determines the value. Not you or your effort, time and money. So think about everything you are doing. Should it be valued? Is it considered by others as valuable? And importantly - And everything happening to you. Do you appreciate and recognise its value? In this conversation we discuss the value of being aware of what is valuable that you do for others and for yourself; and what others do for you. And once that is appreciated, we discuss the Value Creation Model - Stephen walks us through some steps that we sometimes use but should always use to ensure our Value lands with maximum impact. If there is a disconnect between the assessment of value one of the parties will end up feeling undervalued, commoditised, taken for granted. Disappointed. And they will leave – taking their importance and value with them – which is why it is so important that you acknowledge the value from those around you. If you are blind to the value that others are bringing all around you – they’ll soon pack up and go. And the value goes with them. What this model does is makes sure your Value lands with maximum impact. This model works to ensure that the other party is clear in the importance and worth of your product, service, relationship, time, advice… everything. So you feel valued, important, worthy. An important note to add here – the other party can be ‘you’. This can be an internal exercise. What the VCM does is allow your value to land with impact. It’ll help you to light up the eye of the beholder. It helps you to demonstrate your value in such a way that the other party is no doubt that your service, product, relationship, activity is of importance and of worth to them. Which is great for sales, for commitment, for partnerships. Once this model is understood it can be used to help build more value for everything you do. If you cannot identify the value in the things you do – then stop. If you can – use the model to ensure that the value is felt. By you, by your friends, your family, colleagues and partners. Full transcript available on rhinoconsulting.nl. More models and frameworks can be found on CoachPro.online. Any thoughts, questions, suggestions - let us know on LinkedIn or email us at email@example.com. Thanks for sharing and your support - it is helping. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
70 minutes | Apr 13, 2021
Episode 129: Questions. Better Questions create Better Thinking creating Better Results
This podcast episode features a key tool in the Self Development toolbox - Questions. Questions allow you to take control and give guidance on where you are going to end up. Better Questions, bigger questions generate better thinking. That thinking leads to better results and bigger outcomes. Choose to be the one asking the questions and choose which questions are asked.Welcome to this episode on Questions. This is a little bit bigger, as usual, than I thought it was going to be. I'll give you a clue. When I asked Stephen for the definition of a Question, he said, It is to elicit a challenge or to inspire a response. Immediately that helped me to move into a higher gear. We get taught at a young age, we see it in the classroom and we see it in our careers that the person who's asking the Question is controlling the conversation, is controlling the room. So don't you want to be the one asking the Questions? To the room and to yourself. So there is that element of control.Also this idea that Questions determine the thinking, which determines the results. So if you're not getting the results you want, dont question the thinking. Go back to your original Question. And this also takes us on to the idea that the bigger Question, gets you bigger results, bigger outcomes, more powerful. The basic idea to first of all, be aware of this, and how can you do this better? How can you manage this? And how can you use this to your benefit? How can you help this knowledge of how questions can work and their impact, they can have, how can you use this and turn it to your advantage? We spend a lot of time on this. Stephen goes through lots of different examples of questions, type of questions you can ask. And the sort of impact they can have.Questions are at the heart of so many of the different conversations we've had and so you'll see so many things that we touched on before coming back. I've genuinely had this one resonating my head ever since we did it. I hope you enjoy this one too. Any thoughts or questions, please get in contact firstname.lastname@example.org. Check out the CoachPro.online website. Loads of information on there. Please take a look at that.Full transcript on https://rhinoconsulting.nl/podcast-entries/betterquestionsAny thoughts? Any questions, any feedback? Do let us know.Thanks for sharing, subscribing and liking - it all helps. Below an excerpt from the transcript:So today, as always, is a great topic: Questions. Now Questions is something we talked about pretty regularly, it came up a lot in the solution focused one, we spoke a lot about it there. And even in our tagline is we talk about the importance of questions. So this one's probably way overdue. So as always, let's get started. You always make the subject a lot more interesting than it sounds when we start. If we say to people, we're going to talk about questions, people aren't going to understand how deep and wide and important this is going to be. So let's start with the first question. What is a question? Lets start there. What is a question? What's the definition of a question, Stephen?Stephen Gribben 04:34Technically a question is a method to elicit challenge or inspire a response.Warren Hammond 04:42elicit a challenge or inspire a response. Okay. So you've already made it bigger. Just not just to get an answer. It's to elicit a challenge or inspire a response. Okay.Stephen Gribben 04:56It could be to get an answer, but it's a powerful method to elicit challenge or to inspire a response. So it's a method of communication. It's a strategy of influence. It's a demonstration of your value. And it can be a catalyst for greater impact and outcomes. So a question is to get an answer. But it can be used to communicate, to influence to demonstrate, and also to make things happen.Warren Hammond 05:27But even just using words like challenge and inspire in the definition, this is a weapon. This is a useful tool. And I don't think of questions as necessarily always being a part of my armory. But I should be.Stephen Gribben 05:44Questions are one of the most important things to have, to connect and to have impact, is having the questions. You will have more influence from the questions you ask, than the answers that you give. One of the most important things about questions is that long after the answer has become redundant or irrelevant. The question is still standing. The answer may change. But really good questions stand the test of time, even though the answer to that same question in a year's time may be different.Warren Hammond 06:20That makes sense. So we talked about in these difficult times, for example, as a leader, what your team want to hear is that you're asking the right questions, even if the answers aren't available yet, or as you said, things will change. How people get confidence is knowing that you're asking the right questions. So as always, now I start to understand that I should be taking my questions more seriously, or how I use questions more seriously. Where do I start in building out my awareness of my questioning technique? Or is it about how many questions I ask? Or is it how I ask the questions or to whom I ask the questions? What's the first things I should be thinking about when it comes to my questioning approach?Stephen Gribben 07:07Well, the first thing is, once you're starting to understand the value, and the potential of having the questions, and it's one of the most common requests that I get is, can you just write down all those questions and give me them? And I have done that a couple of times, but finding your own questions is the most effective way of doing this. But there's the why you're asking this, the types of questions you're going to ask, there's the when to ask, there's the whom to ask. There's a whole number of areas and aspects of questioning that will determine how effective it is, and we're going to cover them all. So we're going to look at why questions are so important. And then we're going to look at the different types of questions to ask, we're going to look at how you're best to ask them. And then so we are fulfilling that popular request is we're going to give you some good questions at the end of this, in particular categories, that are going to help experience the value of those questions.Warren Hammond 08:02That's great. It's good. We're getting the list at the end as well. But I think as we go through this, it's just understanding that questions can take you into so many important places, isn't it? This is what you've explained and taught me before, is about this importance of better questions. But as you said, it isn't just the question itself is, when you're asking it, how you're asking it to whom you're asking it, because there's a lot of different things isn't it isn't just going to be, as you said, rattling off your list is understanding the importance of a questioning strategy. Okay, so what are the important things that I need to be thinking about when I'm asking questions? Where do I start? What's my starting point,Stephen Gribben 08:43Important to be first of all motivated to ask questions and so understanding the reasons why you ask questions, and particularly now, why you need to be more aware and more conscious of the questions that you're asking not just to yourselves. But the questions you're then asking others. Questions are hugely, hugely powerful. And they can have a massive impact, positively or negatively. And so it's really important. You and I are big exponents of self development, about taking ownership of your growth and fulfilling your own potential. So being more consciously aware of the quality of questions that you're asking. There's a fundamental to that, that you're asking positive questions. Otherwise, you can start asking negative questions, or questions that are neither positive or negative, and just get you to stand still. And this isn't about saying they're right or wrong. It's about being more conscious of making a choice. Am I asking the question I really need to be asking at this stage.Warren Hammond 09:49And this is asking yourself is pretty much what you're starting with here. And this is really powerful. So we talked a little bit about this in Affirmations, about the importance of those powerful statements to yourself to help, not drown out, but at least balance out all of the noise around you.Stephen Gribben 10:07Yeah, well taking ownership is really important Warren and it starts with you. You will never ask better questions of other people with any credibility than you're asking of yourself. So that personal leadership of you going first. If you're not asking great questions of yourself, you'll not know the great questions to go and ask other people. So it starts with you. And we are all the sum and substance of the question that we ask. And we've touched on this in a number of the sessions is that the quality of the question you ask, is the cause of the quality of thinking that you then have, which then we'll culminate in the quality of the result you produce. So the question is the cause the thinking is the symptom, the result is the consequence. So big questions, you'll have bigger thoughts, you'll have bigger outcomes; smaller questions, smaller thinking, smaller outcomes.Warren Hammond 11:06This is great. I love the idea of practicing on yourself as well. I mean, one, because then practice asking yourself bigger questions, and you'll get bigger results. But yeah, of course, you should start with you that makes total sense, doesn't it? Starting with you?Stephen Gribben 11:22Even more so now Warren because if you're not asking the question, then who's questions are you listening to? And we are consistently bombarded with other people telling us the questions that we should be asking. And the person who's asking the questions is the person who is in control. So if you're not asking yourself questions, then who's controlling your thinking and your results? So it's about taking ownership and being aware that the question you ask is what's driving your thinking and leading t
53 minutes | Mar 30, 2021
Episode 128: Focus on Creating the Solution not Fixing the Problem
So what's interesting about this episode, from the start, is the difference between Solution and Problem. So it's easy to think they're 2 sides of the same coin - if you're solution minded, you're a problem fixer. But right from the start, Stephen explains that fixing a problem is taking something, let's say from a minus three back to zero. Whereas Solution Focus is taking a situation which is a minus three, but building something better. A sort of a 'don't waste a good crisis' approach. When there's a problem going on, when there's something that needs to be fixed, you can just repair it, patch it up, take it all back to base level, or you can use this as an opportunity to make something better. As with all these things, it's so simple when it's been pointed out to you. With all of these Self Development podcasts that we're doing, the first thing is just being aware about the difference between them. And there will be times that you've done this and that I've done it, and there'll be times that maybe you should have done it. But it's good to understand the difference between it. And as always, there's a simple four point checklist on how to set yourself up so that you can go into as many situations as possible, focus on the solution. This is about choosing to do it consciously, making the decision that this is the time and the place for the solution focus tool to come out of the toolbox. And using the checklist, just makes it easier for you to do better and better every time. Solution focus is a key leadership trait. This is something they're going to impress and motivate your team. I enjoyed this and I hope you enjoy this one too. Anything you want to add, let us know, email@example.com. I'm working on some transcripts as well at the moment which will be online. And we're writing blogs around this to do check out the different websites, Coachpro.online. There's lots of good videos and all the models are explained there. And I've got Rhinoconsulting.nl. So check us out, see the transcripts, see different blogs around the subjects that we discuss. Look at the different models on coachpro.online. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
59 minutes | Mar 16, 2021
Episode 127: Motivation to Move
This episode, we're talking about Motivation. We all know what motivation is. We all know when we feel it as well. Some days you just can't wait to get going, can't wait to make things happen. You’re full of buzz and energy and it’s catching and contagious. It feels great. Whatever it is you're doing, when you have that sense of motivation, it can be the most boring task ever. But when you're motivated to do it, it just flies by. So the trick to this, then, is how can you create an environment where you make yourself motivated, where you can create that level of motivation you need.In this conversation, we discuss understanding what and where motivation comes from and then how to take ownership of it. As usual, there's a simple model that Stephen talks us through: We have got Dangers, Opportunities, we've got the Comfort Zone, and how we move ourselves out of the comfort zone.One of the things I think is important about this model is The Motivation to Move. Basically, this is creating the tension that makes you move, that allows you to move, but you're choosing the direction, you're owning it, you decide it. instead of letting motivation be something that happens to us. Sometimes we wake up, we don't really get why it is that this is the thing that we're really excited about, or looking forward to.What's simple about this model is we get a choice. We can decide where is it we really want to move to. That's great. That's a superpower we talked about during the self development talk. So there's understanding it. First of all, how the motivation works, how the comfort zone works, how the danger and the opportunities work, and we get to manipulate it and make it work for us. It's so simple, when it's spelled out to us. It always makes me feel that that's where the power is. You know, that joyous surprise when you realize, aha, I get this. In fact, sometimes I already do this. Sometimes I have made this work for me in the past. This is just a way of getting there more often, more quickly, more powerfully.A theme of self development is owning and determining for yourself what is going to happen. Self development. Self Ownership. Self Determination. I think is a really important thing. If you've got anything to add or any comments email us at firstname.lastname@example.org. or find us on LinkedIn.We're going to publish more transcripts and detailed notes to go along with the episodes - we know some people like to read as well as listen. Below are some notes - full transcripts will be available online as well. Transcript NotesSo today, Stephen, we are talking about motivation. Now, you framed it particularly as motivation to move. And I'm really curious about this topic, or interested. It's not just these times, but sometimes it can feel pretty flat, boring and dull, stuck in lockdown and under curfew. So I think this is going to be a good topic. So, motivation to move? Should we start with that? Why motivation to move?Yeah, well, this is a big topic, whether it's in the situation we’re in just now or forever. the motivation to move is understanding basically, why you do and why you don’t . So it's understanding the motivation that you have to do something and also the the level of motivation to not do something. So it's about understanding where that motivation comes from, how that process works. So that you can take more ownership on the things that you really want to do. And the things that you then make more conscious decisions not to do. So is owning that motivation to move.So that's basically isn't it, we understand that motivation. It's a word that we use, and we hear lots of times it's the underlying reasons we get out of bed to do something, or we spend time or energy on it. And I guessing what we're going to cover today then is a little better understanding of what it is, but then also how we can control it or how we can build it or how we can maintain it or how we can turn it on and turn it off. Is that the win we'll get from today?Yeah, it's understanding that this is a process by which you make all your decisions and choices. And it's an ongoing process by which you then decide to see things through or not, so that we get beyond the ‘Why am I still saying that I want to do that and haven't gotten around to it. Or why is it I start things off, but I never really see them through. it’s to give us that more control and empowerment on it to make those decisions consciously. Rather than saying I’ll leave it to how motivated I am to make that decision for me it’s actually making the decision and then driving that motivation to see it through. So rather than your emotions making that decision, which is your your energy of motivation, you're consciously making that I'm self determining that this is going to happen, this is what I'm going to do, and knowing how to then create a level of motivation, and continue to recreate that level of motivation, not just to start, but to see it through.Like that, you're right, because sometimes you, it does feel it's outside of your control, you know, you sometimes you somehow feel motivated to do something and, and other times you don't, sometimes I've got particular ways, which will motivate me to, you know, hit an exercise goal or something. But other times, I'll try the same thing, and it doesn't work. You know, there's good habits I've created, there's bad ones I can't kick and I've tried to use different methods, but they don't always work. So yeah, that makes sense. So this is going to help me with understand this better, okay, I like this. So literally, then this is about owning and controlling what I want to do what I want to spend my time on or and what I don't want to do,yeah, and if you really want to do it, then knowing how to make sure you've got the motivation to do it and see it through. And not just saying it's another thing on the list that I just never get to. And equally also for the things that are taking up your current levels of motivation, are those the things you really want to be doing? Or are those just the things you've always done. You know, if there's things you continually do, without a great deal of motivation, all they're doing is draining. But there's also some things that you keep saying, I keep saying I'm going to do, I'm definitely going to do that at some point. It's understanding that unless you have that level of motivation, you're not going to do it. And that's okay. If it's not okay that you don't do it, it's then creating the motivation so that it's done. So it gives you that level of self awareness gives you your self confidence, because you're determining it, it's about self management, so that you're getting the best out of yourself and, and investing that motivation into the things that matter most to you, you'll generate greater results, you'll be successful by being you, and you'll be happier with your decisions. This is great, okay, because some of the things we talked about before such as imagining better future selves, whether in terms of habits, even vision and purpose. And that's great to have that picture. But then this is going to help us get there. This is going to be creating an engine to get from today's place to that place that you've already decided you wouldn't mind getting to this is going to build those extra levels of motivation to help you get there. And it's understanding how your engine works. And your engine may work differently to mine. Your motivations might be different from mine. Because if you don't take control, and this is all self development is about is that conscious self determination of you being the best version of you. It's finding out where your motivations are. Otherwise, you're trading off what other people are telling you, you should be motivated by. And nowadays, there's no shortage of other people, particularly social media, situations or circumstances or your past telling you what you should be motivated by. And therefore you're not in control of that. And therefore it's a variable. sometimes you're beating yourself up saying why is I'm just not finding the motivation to do that. And so this gives you that empowerment to take control of that self determine that. And make sure therefore, that you're putting the motivation into the things that matter most to you. you’re right because that's it, we are all being told this should be important to you, therefore, do this, or this should be your motivation. But this is a personal thing. And so we've talked about before, about personal ownership, this isn't something people don't give you, their motivation to you and you, you swallow it and move on. This is about you figuring out what is, as you said, your own personal engine, okay. And importantly on that, you're able to define your motivation, rather than it just being a thing. So one of the best examples of this is people in sales jobs, it’s always assumed that there's going to be motivated by money. And that is a quite one dimensional motivation for most people, unless you've defined what you're going to do with the money. And that's by being able to define actually what that money means to you and makes possible and the difference it makes, then you start becoming more motivated that the money becomes a means towards an end that means something to you, rather than it being an end in itself. Therefore this allows you to take things that are the sort of formal motivator, but being able to expand and amplify that level of motivation by what you’d really want to do with it. So it's by understanding that we can then create a level of motivation, find that level of motivation that works for us, what pushes our buttons, rather than being told you should be motivated by this. And sometimes that's not a boss, that's telling us sometimes that us saying to ourselves well, I always said, I would want the house the car, the money, therefore, that’s what I should keep going for. And there becomes a time, maybe that doesn't motivate you as much as it used to, unless you then understand how to find and create more motivation, you're going to have less motivation , it's going to
67 minutes | Mar 2, 2021
Episode 126: Vision - Make it with Impact
Welcome to this conversation on Vision. Vision sometimes gets a bad rap. It's either one of those things which is just painted onto a wall somewhere and ignored. But at other times we think of Vision as being the be all and end all. We all admire those able to articulate Big Visions and position themselves as Visionaries.What I like about the session that we do on Vision, is that every time I've done this, I've done it a few times now, it always excites me again, I suddenly realize how big Vision can be and I realize that it isn't something that only certain people have. And it definitely isn't something that should be relegated to a handbook somewhere. This is something that we should all be conscious of, develop, have front and centre in our lives. The key thing is that it isn't about imagining what you are or want to be, it's about thinking about the impact that you want to have, that you want your company to have.It seems strange when we were talking about this before because in some ways, Vision is almost the starting point for a lot of the conversations we’ve had in the past. You should enjoy this - a simple model, definitions for Vision, Mission, Goals and objectives and how to create your own vision without spending millions on consultancy.Any comments let us know at email@example.com. Thanks for subscribing, sharing and your support.Some notes from the transcript below:Stephen, Vision is a word bandied around a lot in companies and business plans. And but what is the definition we're going to use for Vision today?A Vision, whether it's a company Vision, or a personal Vision, is your ability to imagine something that hasn't yet happened. In a way that has the impact. It has passion. it's energizing. And it makes the kind of difference you really want something to make, it's being able to see in your mind something that hasn't yet happened and being able to articulate, and start to shape that, based upon the impact you want it to have. So a Vision for something is not necessarily about what you do, it's about the impact that you want it to have.Vision is about the impact - not about I want to be this is. It’s I want to make this happen. Is that the difference?If your company has the ambition to be number one, in the world or in a market or in an industry. A Vision for that would be what would we want that impact then to be? What difference would we want to make then as the number one? In a personal Vision it's not about what you want to have, be or do. It's the impact that you then want to have by having, being or doing.So an ambition is, 'we want to be number one'. Vision is we want to change the world in a certain way, or make people's lives better and if we could achieve this impact, it's not about whether we're number one, two or three. That's massively different from what you'd see on most companies walls. Their Vision would be what you would call an ambition.Often BHAGs are dressed up as a Vision, just because they're beyond what they can see at that moment and that's a good place to start. If you then move on to a Vision, and that’s what impact do I want to have with that, you can be number one in the world and hold an industry back. Or you can be number one in the world and redefine what the industry does,Vision is about the impact and this is such a big difference, As you're talking. I‘m thinking of all the different Vision statements that people have are they are just big, hairy, audacious goals. These are goal statements then that I'm guilty of myself so many times.Having big ambitious goals is fantastic. And there's an awful lot of people and businesses who do extremely well, because their goals are bigger than other people's goals. But there is a level above that, and that's Vision. And that is what can become really, really compelling. Because people might not necessarily agree with what you're aiming for. But they can really engage with the impact that, you want to have, the difference that you want to make, the cause, the purpose, something to be proud of,There’s an immediate connection to purpose which we know really motivates people and gets everyone going. And we talked about it before about finding your purpose, finding your own purpose. If you've got a Vision, then which is about impact. It's kind of easier to hitch your own personal purpose wagon to this, the bigger story cool.It really demonstrates and illustrates what your belief system is, because it's the real big reason why you're trying to achieve things. It's not just to beat everybody else,There are some people & businesses who struggle to get beyond Goals to Vision, and there are other people who have really good at Vision, but don't necessarily connect it with goals. So it's about understanding what Vision is, and where it sits in the rest of that process to make sure that if our Vision is a light bulb, that you've got all the cable that goes all the way to the socket in the wall. So that when you switch it on your bulb lights up. Just having a Vision, is sitting with a light bulb and no connection. Not having a Vision is just having cable with nothing at the end of itWhat do you want to make negotiable and non negotiable. If the non negotiable as a parent or a family member, is that your brothers, sisters or your kids, your parents continue to be happy, healthy and confident. If it doesn't work out exactly the way you thought it was going to be but the impact was there, the outcome was everything you wanted it to be, you’d be happy. If you really want to change the world, or redefine something, and it doesn't end up looking the way you imagined it might, but it still changes the world and makes that difference. That's when you're making the Vision more important. You're going to have the impact you really want to have, even if it doesn't actually look the way you thought it may.We’ve got the three components in the model; a socket in the wall, cable, and then a light bulb. And you need to make sure that they're all connected up. Any breaks in the cable and that light bulb isn't going to light up. If the light bulb was not connected to the socket in the wall with cable, all you've got is a light bulb. And if all you've got is a socket in the wall and cable with nothing at the end of it. It's not going anywhere, nothing's happening.People will ask if we really need Vision. And in essence, you don't really need it up to a level. But if you have Vision it takes you over the line in terms of direction and momentum because it helps drive energy, passion. And when you start to look at the impact and the difference that you can make. It gives you something to align to. It can start to improve decision making of what we do and what we don't do. And importantly, how we do it and how we don't do it anymore. And because there’s a sense of purpose, which is a key component to your resilience, you'll be amazed at what you can get through, when you have a Vision. It leads to high performing habits. And importantly, fits in with self-development. Vision is about you self-determining the impact and the difference that you want to make. It's not just you doing something and seeing how it pans out. It's not waiting for what other people tell you it is, or for luck, or fate, or nice or other consequences. It's use self-determining, this is the difference I want to make. This is the impact I want to have. These are my reasons why I do what I do. The way I do.We've talked in the past a lot about the importance of understanding and having that clear identity that enables you to make better decisions, clearer decisions, more confident decisions to be happier. Vision then is part of that being clear about my impact. And the difference I want to make to the world and being clear about that. That's a really strong identity statement. If I'm really clear about Vision as you said I’ll put up with lots of issues & obstacles because my Vision is going to be so big and sexy that I'm only interested in driving towards it.Sometimes you find in conversations with people on this that they've dedicated their whole life, whole career or all their time, energy, money into things and then ask ‘What was it all for?’ What difference did I make?’ What impact did I have? Did I move the dial at all? That wasn't actually what I wanted to be kind of known for within my industry. What is this all for? And this is about setting a Vision to determine what it's all going to be for, to give you that sense of direction where you can still affect the game.The bigger the size of the Vision, the more compelling so that you can then do even the smallest things, even the stuff you hate do, the things you get fed up doing, the stuff you're bored doing, you've got a million reasons why you're doing it, because it's connected to that Vision. Otherwise, you're going through the motions, and you're trying progressively to to a little bit better, a little bit more. But that's where the momentum stops, and you have to dig deep every day to keep going, when you have that connection to that Vision, then you've got a real purpose in what you do, even for the smallest thing, there's a massive reason for it.Should you be working on Visions for all the different areas of your life?If you've got an overall Vision, that's something to align to and what you want everything to add up to and the difference you want that to make. Then it's about alignment. And there may be some things as a business, or as a company, or a team, or even your personal life that you're doing, that might sort of drive some passion and energy, might have impact. But if it's not going through this cable connected to a light bulb, it's just activity. Need that sense of alignment to something, then you make better choices, you have better perspective, you have more reason for doing what you're doing. And that's why it's important.It's sometimes challenging because people think is for someone else to do, or someone else to give you. That's about having someone else telling you what you really should be motivated and passionate about. You can do
61 minutes | Feb 23, 2021
Episode 125: Increased Capacity, Energy & Better Outcomes
For most of us, the challenge these days is not our capability. It’s our capacity. Challenge is not how well we're actually doing things. Our challenge is can we make the space to do as much as we can. Which is why this episode is so valuable because this will help you to increase your capacity. This is about taking ownership of your capacity; self-determination of your day, self-determination of your time, to ensure that you're getting the optimal value of what you're putting your time into. I had a hard time trying to name this one, because it touches on so many vital things. I found it impossible to pick one out, but have gone for capacity in the end, but I guarantee that you will take at least one other thing from this and make it your own. There's an entrepreneurial way of looking at time management; there's managing your week for value and impact. There's increasing your motivation and energy levels. There’s successful delegation. There’s how to increase your overall capacity and that of your team, creativity, confidence, and much, much more. I know, it sounds amazing. It was. I really enjoyed this one. This is something I wanted to talk about for a while. So let's not wait. Your time is important. Drop me a line and tell me what you think I should have called it you know the email address firstname.lastname@example.org or send me a note on LinkedIn. Below is a transcript of the introduction which introduces this week's model: So today is a good topic. One I know that lots of people ask about in different ways. Capacity, efficiency or efficacy but lots of people ask how can I do more with my time. We discussed some of this before in Overwhelm that it isn't about simple time management and to do lists. Well, this is really about realising the value and maximising the value of time, not just the quantity of time that we have for things, or the quality of time in terms of what we choose to prioritise. But making sure that we're getting the optimal value of time. We've all got the same 24 hours in the day to do stuff. So why does certain people seem to achieve more, get more out of that time. Whereas other times we feel we're just sort of grinding it out and getting through. Some of these like time management systems is about how to steal an extra five minutes by improving your email system. This is way more than that, then this isn't about trying to steal minutes from your lunch break. Time management is a really, really good thing. And Time management is about how do you fit 24 hours worth of stuff into a 24 hour a day that's most efficient. Beyond time management, people then move into priority management. And that's how do you take 124 hours of stuff in a day and make sure that the most important 24 hours worth of stuff is focused on and the 100 worth of hours is not getting done isn’t a distraction. This is the level above that because this is about the value and impact that what you spend your time on does. So this is more of an entrepreneurial type system. You're not measured by activity. You're measured by value and impact. The starting point is to make sure we understand what the benefits we’re expecting to get out of this. And what you will get out of this is a greater sense of energy, control, self awareness, focus, allocation of your time, your effort into things. This is about taking ownership of that self determination of your day self determination of your time, to ensure that you're getting the optimal value of what you're putting your time into. It gives you back energy and control. Because so many different systems, it seems to be how to get every last drop of energy from yourself to get the job done, so you go to bed exhausted and finished and you know how to survive on five hours of better quality sleep. But this isn't about squeezing every single last drop of energy out of you, if you do this, well, you'll actually it will feed you with energy. You can generate your own energy on this. And what you're going to get on this is an understanding of those days where you're buzzing with energy. And those days, when you're just flying, you just feel everything's going in flow with you and you just have bags of energy, enthusiasm, focus and concentration. And yet, there's other times when you're just flat and dull, in a fog. You’re waking up in the morning and gradually pouring the water out of your glass over the day. And trying to time it so that's a little bit left. But this is actually about taking more ownership of that. Of where you expend your energy, where you invest it so you get something back. Managing that better, more consciously. So that you get to determine your energy, you get more influence on your capacity to do things really well. We've all had those days where you've been as busy as you like, and you seem to have more energy at the end of the week than you did at the beginning of the week. And then there's other times where every morning seems to have lasted a week. And this is about understanding why you felt like there's some weeks and why you didn't other weeks. And as soon as you understand that, then you can start to manage it this way. So there is a four-box model. And this is the four boxes of where your work is put into your time. So you get two boxes above the line and two boxes below the line. So in the bottom right-hand box, which is below the line is labelled Incompetent. The box in the bottom left, still below the line, but on the left-hand side is labelled Competent. And then both below an energy line above that line in the top left-hand corner is labelled Excellence and the top right box, it's labelled Unique Ability. So below that line is negative and above that line is positive. So to define first of all what each of these boxes means. So if we take incompetence - the bottom right-hand box and competence. This is not the things that you're incompetent at. These are the things that are an incompetent use of your time. It's the things that an incompetent use of your time rather than incompetent at. So these are going to be things that you probably know how to do pretty comfortably, you've probably been doing these things for quite some time, you can almost do it without thinking with your eyes closed, one hand behind your back, you've been doing it for so long. It's just something that needs to be done. It takes up your time, it takes up headspace, it takes up energy and resource. The reason why it's incompetent as it gives you nothing back. The bottom left box is the Competent box. And this is not something that you're competent are. This is what is a competent use of your time to do. So again, these things are likely to be things you've been doing for a while, things you know how to do. You're not looking to do them any better, quicker, faster, differently . It takes up time headspace, resource and energy. But rather than it giving you nothing back, it gives you something back. And there's something that it gives you back is satisfaction, just satisfaction that it's done. So Incompetent gives you nothing back, Competence, at least gives you satisfaction. But it's still below that energy line, because it's still taking more from you than it gives you back. Although it’s giving you back something, you're just kind of glad to see the back of it. Satisfied that it's done, at least until next month. An example of an incompetent use of someone's time then is what something which just gives you no pleasure. So I do it. I know it needs to be done. I do it grudgingly. But I don't when I finished it. I don't go Woohoo, that's done. You can move them from box to box, depending on how you do them, or why you're doing them. So what I don't want to do is label a chore or a task as always sitting in Incompetence. It will sit in your incompetence box if you're getting nothing back from it. It will sit in your competent box if at least it's giving you a degree of satisfaction. An excellent use of your time may or may not be something you've done before. It may be something you know how to do and you've been doing it for a while, but you're still looking to do better, quicker, faster. It may be something that you’re actually learning how to do it, something new and fresh. It still takes up your time, your energy, headspace but what it does is it gives you back a sense of achievement. And that sense of achievement means that it's giving you more than it's taking out of you. And that's why it sets above the line. There's a feeling of achievement then that's that of course that automatically there's all the physiological and psychological benefits; there's confidence & dopamine. All these great things. A sense of achievement. I’ve achieved something that might be because I’ve learned something or done it differently or better. But you get that sense of achievement, not just satisfaction that it’s done but achievement in doing something Then we move on to Unique Ability. Excellence is wrapped around the result; the outcome is when you get that sense of achievement. Unique Ability is the time when you get the energy and the excitement, not just in the outcome, but actually on the journey. It's something you actually just love doing. It's something that you love. You love the experience of it. It has your passion; it has an interest. It has something that even in the working through it, there is an energy that comes from it. The energy isn't all just wrapped up in the outcome. This is a real passion, then is that passion for it all. We've all had something like that. This isn't only about achieving results, this is just enjoying being as part of this whole story, this whole process, whatever it is. It’s more than just achievement, you actually get a thrill doing it. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
53 minutes | Feb 16, 2021
Episode 124: Maximising Personal Growth By Owning Your Own Self Development
This conversation will open your eyes to how we all learn - and might even change the way you read books forever.Stephen explains the difference between Self Help, Self improvement and Self Development and the impact that choosing Self Development can have on your learning - but also on your confidence, resilience, energy, behaviours, decision making and that important part of self identity. We walk through the differences between them and some good examples of how to make this work for you.Stephen introduces it as:Self-Development is optimal in terms of personal growth and ownership of your own personal development. It's ensuring that you're taking ownership of the learning that you're doing and the information that you're taking on board. It’s about action - you're going to do something with it - you're not just going to gather it - you're actually going to do something with it. By taking ownership, you build up greater self-awareness, self-confidence, self-management, more influence, better results. You enjoy success by being you, as opposed to thinking 'I followed the manual and it worked out well.’ You actually start to define a more authentic, sincere and concrete level of performance in terms of your own thinking, your own habits, your own emotions because this is you being you. This is the highest level of personal development, because you're going through personal growth by taking ownership.I've added some detailed transcription notes below to help follow along with the conversation - let us know what you think at email@example.com.Thank you for your support - it is appreciated. Please keep subscribing and sharing. Thanks TRANSCRIPTION NOTES:There's a personal development continuum. It's important that we understand that a there is a continuum, and where we are on that continuum. And by understanding where we are and what we're trying to achieve, and we can maximize our results and our time, make sure we get what we want. Now, this is valuable, because every day, all of us, we're all trying to progress, improve, learn something brand new, learn to adapt, get slightly better at something. So, understanding how we can best do this will ensure that we get the best possible results.There is going to be some work involved. But it's worth it. You taking ownership. You build on your strengths, it builds your confidence, makes you more authentic, helps you take control. Personal development is a huge industry, and it’s something that we all do - consciously or otherwise.It's always been there. And it's come so much more to the fore recently because people are more aware of what they don't have, what they don't do. And they're being bombarded a lot with information as to who they should be, what they should be doing, what they should be good at, what they're going to need to succeed, what they're going to need to be happy. We’re being consistently told we could be happier, we could be doing more, could be more efficient, we could be better looking richer, taller, better dressed. There's also the pressure to succeed. To be a good parent, to be a good employee, to be a good neighbour, to be a leader. It used to be, if you really want to get on, you're going to have to develop. Now it’s if you want to remain where you are, you're still going to have to develop with the pace of change and the challenges. So personal development is a massive industry, extremely aggressively sold, and pushed to people. And it's something that we're doing every day, not necessarily consciously, but we are in a world of personal development. We do need to constantly learn. In the old days we used to learn everything you used to need at school. And that was kind of it. But nowadays, the half-life of knowledge keeps getting shorter and shorter. So, we need to improve. So, we need to personally develop, that's the key thing. And then so let's look at the different ways then. Or let's look at the different options that we have. Imagine a continuum. At one end it is very much about information. It's just building awareness. It's what you read, it's what you watch, the news channels, the gossip magazines, it's anything that's stimulating your thinking and presenting the world to you, That’s a level of personal development. You will be informed of something that you weren't informed about before; you’re now informed about it so there is that low level of personal development, which is just getting that information. If all we needed was knowledge, then you know, we'd all be billionaires with six packs. If it was just information that we needed, then we'd all have achieved our dreams already. That's kind of what you're saying is the information isn't enough to help you get to where you need to get to. The next level on the continuum, which is slightly higher in terms of personal development is when you go into Self-help. This is the fitness videos, books and publications and many of the different media and channels that you have from now. Self-help is mainly information, and it's general information. But it's considered to be helpful information on a general basis. it's a kind of wide fishing net that gets thrown out there. Do you want to lose weight? Do you want to be happy? Sleep better? Eat better? Do you want to feel younger or have better skin? Do you have you know want better career? It’s a very general approach; non-specific & not personalized. Some of it is fantastic. It can really inspire your thinking and ideas. But it's not about you. It's in general terms. Surely everybody wants this - why wouldn't you? So simple guides to productivity, efficiency, how to sell more, how to be better at sports, anything. It’s general. I could pick it up, the person next to me can pick it up, and they'll be getting exactly the same information given to them. The next level, Self-improvement, is moving more towards being about you. There's a higher level of personal development but it is still external. If you decide that there’s something you want to get better at, maybe because you've realized there's a gap there, or there's something holding you back. Or you've pinpointed that if you can just solve this situation, everything else is going to be better. Maybe it's your New Year's resolution, or it's going to be your project on yourself, or you’re seeing your neighbour, your colleague or your friend benefit from this, and you think ‘I want some of that’. You're going to add a language, a skill, one more qualification or complete another course. These are all about Self-improvement. I don't have something - something that's a perceived weakness - and I want to improve. And that's where you move into Self-improvement. It's a weakness, it’s a hole you're trying to fill. Many clients will say ‘I'm not a completer finisher’, or ‘I'm not a good presenter’, or ‘I'm just not good in a crisis’. They’ll then go and sign up to a crisis management course, or a presentation course a complete a finisher course. Because they think: ’I want to know what I'm missing, because I’ll then fill those gaps. And they want me to help. Because one of the big things about Self-improvement is you're handing it over to someone else. You want their secrets of success, someone else's methods, someone else's process, someone else's story of success, that you think ‘I could do that myself’It's obviously more powerful than Self-help, because there is a level of involvement from the person as well, but it is still external and it's more about completing gaps.It's still a lot of information. It’s if I know that information, then I'm going to be better. But it's someone else's information. So, I have questions that I want someone else to give me the answer to. Self-Development is at the end of the continuum where it's optimal in terms of personal growth and ownership of your own personal development. It's ensuring that you're taking ownership of the learning that you're going and the information that you're taking on board. It’s about action - you're going to do something with it, you're not just going to gather it, you're actually going to do something with it. By taking ownership, you build up greater self-awareness, self-confidence, self-management, more influence, better results. You enjoy success by being you, as opposed to’ I followed the manual and it worked out well.’. You actually start to define a more authentic, sincere and concrete level of performance in terms of your own thinking, your own habits, your own emotions because this is you being you. This is the highest level of personal development, because you're going through personal growth by taking ownership. So, it's clear from your tone that you're a big fan of this one. I've seen it work. I've always believed that the success, the growth, and the real value with the people I've worked with, is what they then go on and do with the things we work on, rather than creating a dependency that they need me to be there all the time with them. As soon as they think the answer is in me more than the answer is within them, then I know I've got the balance of this wrong. I've always had an approach where I believed in the person, and I wanted that person to believe in themselves. And that's why I have relationships with people that are lifelong and ongoing, as opposed to transactional, for one area of improvement. I've always believed in this approach.When I've sat down with people it's quite common that they will say, ‘I want to know where the gaps are, I want to know what I'm missing.’ I will turn that round, and say, but I want to know what you're good at. Because if I can understand what you're really good at. And if you can connect with what you're really good at, we can then apply that to the areas that you want to improve and be better in, and it will be more sincere, more authentic, you'll find your way of doing this better, as opposed to trying someone else's thing on for size. So, this is building on understanding and appreciating your own
68 minutes | Feb 9, 2021
Episode 123: Affirmations - Define & Own Your Future
As usual, Stephen surprised me, first of all, by suggesting that we talk about Affirmations. And then secondly, explaining to me why it's so powerful. Initially, I must admit, I thought this was going to be about chanting, incense and long flowing robes, but quickly I was disabused of that notion.We established it is much more practical and scientific than that. Stephen explains a simple six step process to how you can form these powerful statements of truth. Affirmations tend to get linked to Manifestation. Stephen discusses this, explaining the roles of Gestalt and sensory acuity in moving to your preferred future.It's practical, It'ss strong. It has something for everyone.So let us know what you think. Any questions any thoughts, as always get in contact firstname.lastname@example.org More notes below:Affirmations are more than wishing to the universe to get something and she gives it back to you.The approach to affirmations that we're going to go through is more practical, effective, more about your self-development rather than actually for self-help. It’s about the power of affirmations and how that taps into things like the Law of Attraction. We look at Gestalt and how you manifest things, but in a real, practical, authentic way that brings your personal growth and allows you to take ownership. It gives you confidence that there are things that you can do that has an energy and how you can channel that to make things better. technically, it's a statement which affirms something to be true.I first heard about the practice of Affirmations a long, long time ago, and responded with a degree of scepticism, which I believe is healthy, rather than cynicism. People will swear by affirmations and the power and the difference that it's made and the things that they've manifested or realized and achieved. There's a whole load of benefits to this.This is about understanding the power of affirmations, the practicality of how then to create your affirmations and to understand the impact, and the process that then occurs because you've got good affirmations. We can have conscious affirmations rather than subconscious affirmations. Because affirmations can be future based, present based, past based, they can also be positive, but they can also be negative, particularly if you're unconscious of the affirmations that you're running. So whether you are consciously creating a statement which affirm something to be true, or whether subconsciously through your self -talk, you are continually affirming something else to be true. So for instance, a positive affirmation would be I know I'm really good at something. But a negative affirmation could be someone just saying, I'm just not good at that. The consciousness of affirmations is that knowing that you're continually affirming one way or the other, consciously or unconsciously, by literally saying, I have I can, or I, I am, or subconscious is saying, I don't, and I can't, and I won't, those affirmation still have the same power. So this is about taking ownership of your affirmations. Being aware of them, managing them, and then applying them towards the outcomes that you want to achieve. in terms of self-development this is being conscious and aware of how much self-talk is going on. And then deciding that actually, maybe you want to have some input and ownership of that rather than letting it happen to you. This is actually what the affirmation is. That isn't it is it's controlling some of that self-talk, I guess. This is a self-development approach to affirmations, and self-development requires you to take more ownership, to commit to the personal growth that can come from that, so that you enhance your self-confidence. And the result of that is that the success you achieve will be success because you're being you. So it's more authentic, more sincere and brings more happiness. Whereas Affirmations are also prevalent in self-help and self-improvement, and these require less ownership and will deliver less personal growth and less self-confidence. Because that is the, putting out there into the universe, and waiting for it to come back. Now that, that can happen but if you haven't been through the personal growth, will you be ready for what you’re trying to manifest, or are you just waiting? And will you recognize it. it's one of the riskier topics to introduce, in my line of work, working with global CEOs, senior people, and also friends, family and colleagues. It's one of the riskiest things to introduce to the conversation, because of assumption or it or lack of information on or it's just seen as that self-help thing. But I know of I don't know of anything else that I have worked with, with people all over the world clients and colleagues and friends, that's been as transformative for them as an individual than affirmations. I've had these conversations for years with very senior people, or very wise people and often very sceptical, and sometimes cynical people. When they can look at this, from a self-development perspective, or practical application of affirmation. It has been life changing, career changing, business changing, relationship changing, it's changed any aspect that they apply it to, if you’re doing this from a self-development perspective, because you're taking ownership over. And you're committing to grow as an individual, through that, to be ready for the success that you're trying to create. So immediately affirmations, when they’re positive will really help you instill a sense of belief, optimism, resilience, a clearer sense of your identity, and importantly, your self-confidence. But if you're not taking control of those affirmations, your subconscious affirmations can be undermining your belief, your optimism, your resilience, it can be making you question who you are and what you're about and undermine that self-confidence. It's about a statement, affirming something to be true. The word that almost gets ignored in that is ‘statement’ because it's about the true and then the affirming. But if you're not making a strong, authentic statement, you've got this undercurrent of gossip and whispering around you. Your subconscious is whispering what you are, and you're not so good. You shouldn't be here. But actually if you say ‘no, this is what I know to be true about me or this is what I wish to be more true about me. Then that statement is good and strong and talking over that sort of hubbub. You're taking ownership of that self-talk, and this does start to shape and impact your future self, something we talked about in habits as well, I can see that this has got a really strong link to that it affects your sense of identity; it's affecting your mental health and your well-being and everything else. But if you think of all the social media, traditional media in addition to all the self-talk that's going on in your own head about questioning, who are you? Are you good enough? Particularly social media, because the volume of that is just so significant in our lives nowadays, that getting you to wonder and question and doubt, or to believe in someone else's solutions for you, that it's about who they are rather than who you could be. If you don't have that solid foundation, you will get blown away in the wind. Our futures are determined by the quality of the decisions that we make. Being able to make those decisions from a solid foundation of knowing who you are, and being positive about who you are, you'll make better decisions than someone who's either taking the decision that someone else is telling them to take or taking the decision from a negative or unstable position, because the decisions and choices you make from that position would be very different. Confident people make better decisions. So if you've got this practice doing well, you'll be a stronger sense of identity, you'll feel stronger in yourself, you make better decisions, which help you move to that future self that you've that you've got out there projected as well. Better, quicker and clearer decisions. If you are confident on who you are, then the decision becomes very clear very quickly. If you're not sure who you are, then there's a whole range of things you need to consider. Affirmations not only then help ground you toda. It also helps you find your tomorrow self. This is worth doing because it makes me better today and better tomorrow At the Operational level: understanding what affirmations are & how to create affirmations that work for you.At the Management level: how do we apply that to manage our current state to get us into that best possible place of where we are now.The Strategic element, that future element, is how can we use affirmations, to create, manifest and imagine, to realize that fullest potential that we have. We then want to do is construct an affirmation statement. And there's the six P's on this.1 Personal: it has to begin with I, because this is you taking ownership.2 Present. It’s a now thing. I now, or I have, or I do, but it's present. It's not ‘one day I will’, or ‘I might’ or ‘I'm aiming for’. It’s saying now so connects with the present. The Psychology of the importance behind that is the present then it means it connects with you now, saying you have it so psychologically inside you go looking for it, because it's there. When you say I will or I might one day, what you are affirming to yourself as that you don't have that or you're not that or you don't do that.So you go looking for that character trait inside you connect with it. Somewhere inside you, you see this in these transformation programs where it is you already and it's hidden somewhere. This helps drag it out. You're affirming it's Now. So you're affirming it’s you, it’s personal, affirming that it's a now thing that's it’s in the present.3 Positive. Being consciously aware that it's positive, not negative, and not neutral. It's not saying I’m okay at something, or I'm all right at something. It’s clearly positive. Don't sell yourself short. clearly positi
46 minutes | Feb 2, 2021
Episode 122 - Agreement & Commitment.
Welcome to this new episode on Agreement & Commitment. It's a little shorter than normal, because we're dealing with a very specific topic.This one's been asked for by quite a few people, I think because of the times we're in at the moment. One, we're recording this at the beginning of the year. And so this is the time when everyone's got big plans, strategy documents and kickoffs. And they're keen that they get all their team behind the plan. So there's always discussion: Are the team nodding politely? Or are they really leaning in and getting this. And as we're still in lockdown, many of us are working remotely and so are our teams. Sometimes it's difficult to really understand the passion and the depth of feeling, people have about certain plans. When you can't look people in the eye and when you can't read their body language, sometimes it's more difficult to understand how behind the plan they are, how fully committed they are to the plan. How fully aligned they are with the plan. Do they agree with everything so far?The key thing is that agreement and commitment are two very different things and the first step is being aware of what you are asking for – and also what is being asked of you. Stephen explains the logic and pain in choosing accurate disappointment over inaccurate optimism. If there are any other direct requests, please just drop us a line. Our email is podcast @coachpro.online.More notes from the episode below.Main definition: Agreement - we're on the same page in principle; Commitment - I will make a contribution, do something or take action. So agreeing with something doesn't necessarily mean you're going to do something. Whereas commitment is you're actually going to do something whether you agree or not. You can commit to doing something whether you agree or not. And equally, you can agree with something, but have no intention of doing anything about it. So it's understanding the difference between the two: have you agreed? Or are you committed? And importantly, are you asking for agreement? Or are you asking for commitmentSometimes we can get them mixed up. Sometimes we can assume. And sometimes we can project onto people. And so it's important that we understand the difference, we communicate the difference, and know what we're asking for. And that we check to make sure that we are both on the same page. Are we looking for Agreement at this stage, or are we actually looking for a Commitment to do something. As long as we're specific about it, then we're connected, rather than being left exposed by making the wrong assumption about whether you wanted agreement or commitment. Or in reverse, I assume that all you wanted was agreement, but you actually wanted me to do something.In sales conversations, the number of salespeople who will believe they've got commitment, because someone's agreed to something is the confusion you're talking about.The “why” this is an important topic is to ensure that we're all on the same page, and we’re either not being let down or letting people down.For some people, in some situations, agreement and commitment are the same thing. So if you agree to do it, you've also committed. For some people, in some situations, agreement and commitment will be two separate things. There can be agreement with no commitment, and there can be commitment with no agreement. There are also risks that come if they’re not separated. So if you are someone who, when you agree to do something you always commit, then you can become either spread too thin by being overly committed to too many things. Or you can find yourself never committing because there was something that you couldn't agree on.If you keep agreement and commitment as the same thing, the risk is that you then project onto other people that if they have agreed, then they must also have committed. And so when you go looking for it and they haven’t done it you’re left disappointed.At an operational level you need understand that agreement and commitment are two distinct things and then being clear on which one you're looking for, and which one you're prepared to give. I know you don't agree with this, but could you do this for me? Now you're looking for commitment without that agreement. So understanding that they're distinct but knowing the relationship between the two and that connection between the two is important.The people who find it difficult to say yes, even when it is a no-brainer, it’s obvious – used to frustrate me. Over time I have started to realize that the people who are a little bit more difficult or not so quick to say yes, these tended to be the ones who were preferring to commit. So they have more questions on what it looks like. But the people who I thought were easy, the ones who would say yes, almost without thinking about it, were just saying Yes. So they were agreeable, had no intention of ever of committing to anything. So it was really easy for them to say Yes. Because they weren't bringing the value of commitment too. Sometimes the prospect will be saying no. And the sales guy will be thinking, this doesn't make any sense. I've told you all of these amazing things. I know they're applicable to you. Actually you’re saying it's not that that person saying I know that I do agree with your sales pitch. You were very agreeable, but if I say yes to it, in my head, I will actually have to commit to this, to going through with this. And all that that means - changing supplier, culture change, the implementation and procurement chats. So even though I agree with your sales pitch, I'm not going to agree because the moment I say yes, that's a sign of commitment I have to have to follow through. And then there are those clients and prospects who have agreement and commitment as two separate things will say yes but they won’t sign the deal. They're the ones clogging up your pipeline. Agreement is more words. Commitment is more pictures in the mind.The example that I use is when you say to someone “let's do lunch, let's get to know each other about more socially, in a relaxed different environment, let's go somewhere nice for lunch and get to know each other better. And they go yes we should until you've asked this sort of real key question, which is when? And if the answer is well, let me get back to you. Then, you know, lunch isn't happening anytime soon. Because the, the key difference between agreement and commitment is pictures. If I was to say to you when, what day of the week suits you best does breakfast or lunch. suit you better? What's your favourite restaurant, what type of food do you prefer? Now what tends to be better for your schedule. Now, if you have no answers to those questions it is because you have no pictures in your mind, which means you have no commitment. But if you have our Thursdays are good for me, as the breakfast is all better for me, then then lunch, because it's the start of my day. Love Italian food. In fact that place around the corner from me is ideal. And normally the end of the month is when there’s more time to meet. Now I know we're going to have lunch. There's a commitment to that, not just agreement, in principle.It's great to get a yes. – and so what you've got is agreement. And now you're only two or three questions away from knowing whether someone is agreeing, or if they’ve also committed. However one of the main reasons people don't ask those next questions is an emotional reason. They want to believe. We want to believe that if they've said yes, then they've also committed. However ‘Accurate Disappointment’ is far more valuable than ‘Inaccurate Optimism’. Even if it may be disappointing understanding where you are in terms of commitment it is better to know.If someone doesn't commit today, it doesn't mean that they aren't going to commit going forward. Sometimes people need to be asked two or three times to get beyond agreement and to commitment. They may agree with the concept, but not know you well enough or trust you well enough. It could simply be the timing. But it's still better to have the accurate disappointment, because you can build upon that, rather than inaccurate optimism.You can ask for both. Do not just ask for one and assume that the other will follow. Asking for both being specific. A lot of CEOs will present the business plan to the leadership team. And then they'll say what do you think? What they're asking for is Agreement. Not Commitment. Commitment would be presenting the plan and then saying: 'Okay, this is what it is. So what are you now going to do with this?'And so this especially, that makes sense. You see this lots of times where there's a big, glorious, beautiful, well designed, glitzy PowerPoint presentation. And at the end, everyone smiles and claps, enthusiastically. And so the leader leaves the stage happy, because everyone gets it. But then comes the disappointment because the people in that room have agreed with it, they haven't committed to anything. And so typically that leader then assumes that they didn’t agree. And so he is going to explain it again or better. Because surely once they really agree, then they will commit. He doesn't think it's a lack of commitment. He thinks it's a lack of agreementIf you're looking for a whole audience to commit, give them something that everybody can commit to doing. And at least then you've got everybody going beyond that line and moving from agreement and attaching a level of commitment to it.What stops a lot of people committing is fear of the size of the commitment. What does this mean I’ll need to do? Do I need to go and read books or to go on a course? Do I need to do six hours a day on this? All you're looking for them to understand a little bit more. So specify. By communicating in pictures, you're specifying what the commitment looks like, as opposed to getting emotional commitment, which is ‘count me in’ and then 'wait a minute, is that what it involves? I don't know if I can, I might need to withdraw'. So make sure that what you're getting is i
61 minutes | Jan 26, 2021
Episode 121: Relationships - making them work for you
Welcome to this conversation between Stephen & Warren - in this one we tackle Relationships. Stephen takes us beyond relationships with friends and colleagues - and we look at how we relate with the world around us. It's a big idea but boils down to some key principles. It's a good topic and really helps to drive ownership of your starting position. Let us know what you think on email@example.com. Some notes from the episode below: Relationships can be how you relate with people, both personally and professionally, so friends, and colleagues, partners and bosses, but also your relationship with your work, your relationship with possessions, relationships that you might have with habits, or trends or things. And importantly a good relationship with yourself in terms of how you see yourself; your own identity, your purpose and how you relate to that. So it's how we relate to things in terms of its purpose and value, what we will do for it, and what we expect it to do for us. So that we can make sure that what we're doing is developing, maintaining and redefining relationships; that we have put thought into all these areas in a way that's optimal, that works best for us in terms of being able to shape and own those relationships, but also that it gives us that confidence and sense of personal growth. The relationship between you and pretty much everything else can be improved or done better overall. Relationships are fluid. Alive. They'll have varying degrees of importance, relevance and prominence in my thinking. And that‘s okay. Important to understand that this lifelong relationship we have with ourselves and everything around about us has an energy and has a flow and that we can either just be on the receiving end, or we can take more ownership of that and start to shape it. First of all, your need awareness of the relationship and then it's about managing that to make sure that it remains current, relevant and of value. All our relationships have a current value. The relationship you may have had with a new car was a relationship with something that was inspiring you, was motivating you, was giving you focus. Now you've bought the car that relationship with that now needs to change because it's no longer the thing that you're chasing, or you're inspired to go and get. So you now need to change and redefine that relationship. The more longer term, strategic view on relationships is, what are the future relationships I really want to build that are optimal for everybody involved. I feel like I'm in a computer game now. And I'm the central character - you're already in that computer game and you're already the central figure. But it depends on whether you want to sit back and wait to see what happens, or whether you want to shape what you want to happen next Social media may define the relationship with you as being the target. And if you do not redefine that relationship, then that relationship will be defined for you. If someone puts you in a position where they see you as a victim, or someone to pick on or to take advantage of, if you don't redefine that relationship then that’s the relationship. Choose something better for you rather than it be chosen for you In terms of your own emotional well-being, then this gives you some sense of control and mastery over that relationship. If you don't put yourself in a position in that relationship, which makes you happy or strong or confident then you're going to get what's coming to you. Sometimes that will be good and sometimes it will be bad, but it's out of your control and being out of control will lead to anxiety, stress or unhappiness. So this is an important way of taking control of things and getting on top of things. It starts with you. And it's the relationship you have with yourself. That relationship is:what do you want to be able to count on yourself for? What value do you want to bring to that relationship? You will never be able to do it for someone else more than you do it for yourself. That's why it starts with you. What would others say I'm good at? What would others say I could be counted on for? When I'm at my best, what strengths do I have, when do I tend to shine? When am I allowed to be the best version of myself? When am I at my strongest? My most influential? When am I most proud of who I am and why? The most beautiful relationships are lifelong. Lifelong relationships require continual redefinition. Because it protects the currency, protects the value, protects the relevance. It communicates how important that relationship is because it's continually being redefined. Certain relationships that you can redefine all on your own and there are certain relationships where you're going to have to engage with the thing, or the person and say, ‘Look, this is where I would love this to start going’. You want to get ahead of the game in a good relationship and say:how can we make this even better? Setting out an emotional contract is important in building really positive, beneficial, mutually respected relationships. I've also seen it being the thing that destroys and breaks relationships. Often in business when you're pitching to get a client we don't tell the client why it's so important to you. You don't make it clear what you're getting from this relationship. And yet you expect or hope that relationship to evolve into more than just a transaction. When people know how important they are to you and to the process then you've got a relationship that's more than just the formal transaction reason that got you together in the first place. You have a relationship already with all people and all things, you're just going to be more consciously aware that you have that relationship. And some of those relationships are hopefully fantastic, fulfilling, loving, rewarding relationships that you want for the rest of your life. And there's others that have the potential to get closer to that. And then there's some relationships that you may want to start that you haven't started yet. Because this is how you can really start a relationship on a really sound footing. Because it's based upon value and trust and communication. . See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
63 minutes | Jan 19, 2021
Episode 120: Habits - A key to building your own preferred future
Welcome to this conversation between Stephen & Warren - in this conversation we cover Habits. I was surprised the direction this topic took us - it was much more about our core being and future self than I was expecting - and much less about building systems with triggers. It's a strong model and explanation which should create much longer lasting change and habits - let us know what you think on firstname.lastname@example.org. Some notes from the episode below: Habits are the things that we do. And if we do them consistently enough, repeat them enough that they just become how we do things. Sometimes it's a conscious habit - we are making sure that when we do something, we do it in a certain way we do it to a certain level of quality or consistency. And then there's also a lot of subconscious habits that it just seems to be the way I've always done it, or I've never thought of an alternative. Or it works so I just thought that's the way it's done. So you have conscious habits and subconscious habits. There are some habits that don't necessarily work for you. And this is how I would define good habits and bad habits. It depends on whether the habit takes you to where you want to get to or not. Routine is kind of a process, it's about efficiency, you get into the routine of doing something, so you get into the rhythm of something, or you get into the flow of something, you're going along with something. But habits are an inner thing. You create a routine; you adopt a habit. Where habits come from are your core beliefs and values. So if that automatic response or that way of doing things aligns with your core beliefs and values you'll continue to do it, then you then form a habit. You could be in a routine of doing things that doesn't align with your core beliefs and values, therefore will never become a habit for you. It's just something you follow - a routine. Getting stuck in a rut, is when you're stuck in a routine that used to work for you, it no longer works for you anymore. Self-development is about looking at how you can own your habits, rather than self-improvement is just blocking out the bad habits. The point or the self-development is taking ownership of those habits, disciplines, routines, to say "Right, how do I get those to work for me?" - rather than how do I continue dealing with the fact that they’re no longer working for me? As soon as you become more consciously aware of whether that routine is taking in the direction you want to go or actually excluding you from getting where you want to go, then that's when you need to look at more consciously taking ownership of seeing a need to create a new habit, or create a new routine, or create a new discipline. And without going into all the things that it could be failed to. To be honest, whether you call it habit, routine discipline, whatever you call it, that's what it is for you. There are habits you will want to improve or let go of or replace and there are also habits you really want to hold on to and protect, and maybe treat them with a bit more precious. Do you have the habit of writing the to-do list or are you in the habit of executing on the list? Consciously looking at your habits and understanding why good things happen for you. By being able to understand those success habits, then it takes you away from two really important things. One, just thinking it's just Luck or secondly the Imposter syndrome, Understanding your habits is really, really important for your self-confidence for your mental health, for your sense of empowerment, sense of control, sense of ownership, so that you're not leaving that to luck, or fate, or other people's opinions. Habits are your subconscious, automatic routines of behaviour, if you're not careful, you'll explain away every habit. But actually, sometimes it's just malware in your system. So be aware of it, and own it, because this, this demonstrates you, and you can try and put a spin on it afterwards. But sometimes this is you said, this shows who you are your actions. And if 50% of your actions are automatic, and run by your subconscious, then may not be always the best for you. You are going to be having a bunch of operating system habits running on them get to the see them have a really good proper look at them. The conscious ones, the subconscious ones, and then what decide which ones need to be updated, which ones need to be deleted, which ones need to be protected and which new ones to be introduced. Self-development is actually you taking ownership and habits rather than listening to other people's, you know, inverted commas, good habits, success habits, their secret habits because you're taking ownership of your habits. Rather than pretending to be someone else who's written a book or stood on a stage or done a podcast with their secrets for success. That's not to invalidate their own habits for success. But they're their habits for success. Self-development is about taking ownership and creating your own habits for success. The habit is driven by thoughts, words and actions. So, what comes just before the habit, as you're thinking, your words and your actions, you're doing it because you think it's okay. And what comes before the thoughts, words and actions is that person's core beliefs and values. Your habits will present a perception of your character. And that perception of your character determines the last part of this model, which is the future opportunities that you get. A habit is what you do consistently, habit is that consistent behaviour. Consistently showing a behaviour then which can show you in a particular light. And now you can understand how your core values and beliefs are impacting your future state of your future self? The motivation comes from the future opportunity. And that's what's most important, rather than just a criticism of that habit. It starts with the end in mind, where do you really want to be getting to? That is the motivation for change in habit. And so then you need to make sure that that's alignment between core beliefs and values, thoughts, words and actions, habit, perception of character down to future opportunities, there's a straight line all the way down, rather than any disconnects. Having a strong enough purpose and vision of how things could be is so exciting actually feeds down towards your core beliefs and values. Always starts with that end in mind. Protect the habits that you're really working for you but also to upgrade the habits that maybe used to work for you but don’t work for you so much now. If you are looking to become a fantastic parent, or a fantastic manager, or a fantastic owner, a fantastic partner then ask yourself, what would the perception of my character need to be? And what habit reinforces that? If the opportunity is to become a non-smoker as opposed to trying to get rid of the habit smoking then the end in mind gives you the motivation to look at your core beliefs and values, but also gives you the day-to-day actions. That future self-image, you see yourself as a nonsmoker, you don't then want to smoke. But if you see yourself as someone who's trying to give up smoking, you're still a smoker. high performance habits. High performance is not allowing yourself some options. Yeah, it's not an option for me automatically. People who have really good relationships are the ones who normally through by the experience, know to draw the line quicker. Let's not let this argument continue. Let's not allow it to be an option for us to fester. Those are those are really good relationship habits because there are lines that have been drawn. Can I develop habits that are genuine and authentic for me? Because you're unlimited in your potential. In terms of your capability - Unlimited, as long as you want it enough. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
85 minutes | Jan 12, 2021
Episode 119: Change - Understanding, Managing and Owning Change
Welcome to our Conversation about Change - with Stephen Gribben and Warren Hammond. Change is a big topic - but it is something we all know is happening around us, to us, by us all of the time. Stephen explains the benefits of using Change to build a better outcome for yourself. It's a big topic and we cover a lot. Let us know what you think at email@example.com. Some notes from the episode are below - Enjoy. Notes from the Podcast: Change can be a good thing – Progress is change. Disruption is the big brother in the change family – and adjusting is the little one. Change is all around us – but how to make sure we are changing for the better. "Change is neither a good thing or a bad thing, it's a thing. And depending on what you change, why you change, and then importantly, how you change things, will determine whether that changes it for the better or not". Things will change and either you do it or somebody else does it for you. Or to you. Sometimes, you're just sleepwalking into change - there was no conscious point of realising you're going through change. And then you get really good at managing how change happens to you. What I will say to people about change is change can be an absolutely fantastic and essential thing. If you change the right things, for the right reasons, and the right way. Change is a continuous thing. It is happening around you. And maybe you're not seeing it, but it's going on. 3 boxes/approaches model First one: Deny it. Pretend it doesn't affect you. Second: Fight it – resist it and search for alternatives. Or Third: Use it - how can I channel this? How can I see this as an opportunity? The great thing about change is that nothing bad is going to last forever. At the same time you know that nothing good is going to last forever. When companies have to launch a transformation programme, that's just a public admission, they haven't been changing as much as they should have been doing on an ongoing basis. Change doesn't have to be painful. But if you've not been to the gym for a while, and you're trying to do something that you've not trained for – you’re going to feel pain. What you know is that pain was always going to be there. But you either spread it out or you do in a big bang. It shouldn’t be something you get through or something you complete, rather than it being a continual process of improvement Some businesses view on Change seems to be more a wedding day rather than a marriage If you still want to be the parent that you are today, you're gonna have to redefine that relationship to still be the same parent in five or 10 years Healthy Dissatisfaction x Strong Vision x Clear First Step > Resistance to Change Startups tend to be more disruptive because they've just got less resistance to change, because they don't really have much to protect at that point. Change is not an event. Change is an ongoing process. And therefore, it's making sure that you've got the percentages of things in the right order to make sure that continual change can be successful. Try to change 100%, it's just going to break. And the likelihood is that you end up with a poor version of what you already had. 80-16-4: For successful change to happen, the first 80% must stay the same. The next 16% must also stay the same, but that can be better, faster, different. And then that allows for 4% to be new. Don’t get pace and scale confused. If you want to make 100% new, do 4% new every hour by tomorrow and then it'll be 100% different. For successful change, you need 80% to stay the same for now. So there might be some things that you're going to want to change. But, for now, they need to stay the same. The communication of Change should start from what must stay the same. Otherwise, when you talk about the thing that is new, no one hears the rest. Because they're into an emotional place of I like or I don't like and they don't hear the rest. The thing I would ask everybody to do is get on the journey with Change. And if the thing that's holding you back is the fear of losing or leaving stuff behind, take it with you. But get on the journey. Go and discover. Otherwise you can sit back and wait to someone tells you what they think is good enough for you. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
62 minutes | Nov 18, 2020
Episode 118: Optimal Appraisal -understanding why this is your strongest position ever
This is a great topic - impactful in so many situations. I refer to it regularly and it was good to go through it in more detail with Stephen. Optimal Appraisal allows us to best reframe and consider our experience to ensure we are best placed to reach the outcome we have in mind. Good, bad, indifferent, hard, easy, unexpected... all are important ingredients in creating the future. Some notes below I jotted down during the conversation - hope they help. Any thoughts and comments - let us know at firstname.lastname@example.org. Thanks for sharing and subscribing - it really helps. Here are the notes: Optimal appraisal is when we’re assessing with a good outcome in mind An appraisal is different from judgement – which can be emotional. An appraisal is making a logical, intelligent and considered assessment of people and situations Informal and Formal appraisals – we’re constantly “informally” assessing our lives, situations, environment, memories, work, opportunities, relationships. Learning to optimally appraise will improve all our appraisals – formal, informal and subconscious A formal appraisal is “let’s check in with where we are” – and isn’t only at work. It’s something we do all the time – ask ourselves a conscious question “how are we about X today?” Optimal appraisal will allow you to make big, disruptive steps and transformational change Suboptimal appraisal means the past trajectory will determine the future path Optimal and optimistic is different from positive – Optimal is “I understand what has happened and still believe that good things can happen. Positivity is more a blind belief that good things will happen – should happen” 3 key areas in an optimal appraisal – Past – Present – Future Typically, people will spend too much time in the past and ignore the present altogether. The optimal distribution of time is 20:30:50 So, if you’ve got an hour – that means you spend 12 minutes on the past. The past is important – everything that has occurred – the good, the bad, the unexpected, the easy, the hard – it’s important to acknowledge and identify the past When you know the past doesn’t define the future – it allows you to be more honest. If you view your past as all good - or as all bad – you’re missing something important Present – the present disrupts the future being a continuation of the past. It acts as a trampoline, a springboard, a catalyst allowing you to dramatically alter the trajectory, the course of your future. It allows you to aim for the spectacular – the transformative 5 key things for Present in Optimal Appraisal 1 Experience: What experience do I now have 2 Expertise: What expertise do I now have 3 Knowledge: What do I now know for certain 4 Ability: What can I now do 5 Qualification: What are we now qualified to do Altogether – this means we are in our strongest position ever This process transforms the past into rocket fuel for the future – what are you going to do with it – all this new and learnt talents You’re in your strongest position ever – what should you be aiming for? Process allows you to reframe all experience as something learned to help you move forward to the end in mind “what doesn’t kill you will make you stronger – I’d rather it wasn’t a 50:50 call but what Optimal Appraisal does is ask “How did this make you stronger?” What do you now know for sure that you didn’t know before Go back further into your past if you cannot find something to reconnect to All of these things enable you to understand that you’ve never been in a better situation today to achieve something amazing tomorrow Considered optimism beats positivity built on hope Operational: Be aware that appraisals can be optimal Management: Start to manage your “informal” appraisals more optimally – don’t dwell on your past but don’t ignore it. Use it. Strategically: By building the discipline to optimally appraise formally and informally you will be better placed to drive better subconscious decisions Projects and Plans – trajectory does not need to be linear – past failures do not need to limit the future See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
55 minutes | Oct 27, 2020
Episode 117 - BurnOut & Fatigue - Recognising & Reversing it
This topic came about after we were chatting about “fatigue” - how we are all dealing with new situations that - perhaps - seem to be having a tougher or different impact on us than we expected. But it’s also the case that we all feel like this regularly - not just during a pandemic. New jobs, new family situations, new relationships, new expectations, periods of excitement and boredom can all lead to a sense of fatigue - we just don’t name them all the time. In this conversation Stephen shares a definition for Burnout - prolonged exposure to excess stress. And then breaks this down to 3 different components - physical, emotional and psychological. There’s an understanding that from time to time we all be “stressed’ - and that is not necessarily a bad thing - in fact it is often a great thing. But we do need to have enough self awareness to understand when it’s moving from exceptional and occasional to prolonged and habitual. That’s when we’re heading to Burnout. There’s discussions on how to approach each of the 3 legs on this metaphorical "stool" - and which should you fix first if it gets a little wonky - the physical, the emotional or the psychological. Any comments or thoughts - get in touch with on the email email@example.com See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
70 minutes | Oct 20, 2020
Episode 116 - Self or Others? Which is your primary motivation and why it matters
Welcome to Episode 16 in which Stephen explains that we all have 2 inner drivers - "Senses of Service". One is to Ourselves and one is to Others. The key here is that one is dominant - in all of us - and that once we understand this we can use this to better connect and to influence. You will hear that I regularly try to label one as better than the other and it is clear that this is not helpful - or correct. I'm still working on it... Interesting model and insight - using this right will help you drive better performance from yourself and from your teams. Some notes are copeid below. Thank you for downloading, subscribing and sharing. Your support is wonderful. Any comments/suggestion - let us know at firstname.lastname@example.org EPISODE NOTES: There are 2 major drivers in this model – Sense of Service to Self; and Sense of Service to Others We all have both – but one is more dominant – sometimes it is marginal – but there is always a dominant one Understanding the Sense of Service allows you to connect with other people’s internal drivers You will be able to better connect, to better influence and be better influenced by understanding this motivation By respecting and understanding their drivers it allows you to be authentic to your own motivation This isn’t about what people do – it’s about the reasons they do it. You cannot see which is dominant by what people do. One is not more positive than the other. Sense of service to self does not mean selfish – and sense of service to others does not make you sacrificial Making a judgement on whether one is more positive or stronger is a blocker to genuinely understanding and using this insight If you have to label them, label them both as “this can be a good thing” The good news is that it is a 50:50 call – try one on for size – if it works – great. If it doesn’t it means you can try the other approach with conviction Differences outlined in categories – Fear; Voice; Order; Good day; Bad day Sense of Service to Self 1 Fear – they have a fear of letting themselves down. Note – they don’t want to let others down also – but their primary motivation is the fear of letting themselves down 2 Voice – they interpret everything through their own voice. They have an opinion and an angle on what you’re saying 3 Order – they want to go first. Until they’ve done their bit/spoken – they are not ready for others 4 Good day – on a good day they are convinced that if they get to where they want to get to – it’s good for everyone 5 Bad day – on a bad day they feel isolated – they have to do everything alone Sense of Service to Others 1 Fear – they don’t want to let others down 2 Voice – they make their own decisions but hear others' opinions 3 Order – They prefer to go second – to respond to the others 4 Good day – if they help enough people, they will get to the good place 5 Bad day – resent the amount of needs they have from others Stephen used the example of his book – when he realised he wasn’t writing it for himself, he completed it within weeks "To be honest – I don’t really care which one motivates you – but once I understand it, I connect to it and position everything better” One is dominant – but you must make sure that both are aligned. Aligning the two will improve performance – it will amplify your motivation Don’t try to match with someone else’s motivation – connect your authentic reason to theirs Being successful is not determined by which sense of service you have – one is not stronger than the other. They’re just different. Charities are full of people with both profiles – what’s important is the positive impact they’re having and not why they’re doing it See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
60 minutes | Oct 13, 2020
Episode 115: Connection - with your heroes, yourself and those you simply don't like
In this episode Stephen and I discuss "Connection" and how it is much more than a shared contact, a shared history or a shared workplace - these are simply things we have in common. Connection is more and is vital for Influence - your ability to shape and to influence and also your willingness to be shaped. Some time is also spent on understanding your heroes - and why to admire them. This is a bridge to better connecting with yourself which then helps you to better connect with others. And Stephen guides us into how it's possible to connect to anyone - even those you are certain you cannot - by positively looking for something to admire. Some interesting topics in this one - and a small bonus at the end which made me smile. Below are some notes I took - hope you find them useful. Any comments - email us at email@example.com and also make sure to check Stephen's self coaching site - coachpro.online Thanks Notes: Connection is not the same thing as having things in common Being clear about the difference allows you to set the right expectations Working for the same business doesn’t mean we are connected – we just work in the same place For us to have a connection – I’d need to understand what that shared memory means for you – and you for me Having something in common is a good place to start identifying who you can connect with Time doesn’t create a connection – it just gives you more shared moments A common conclusion can mean being on the same page – but if you haven’t got there for the same reasons you may not have a connection Why would you want to connect? Either you want to connect to help to shape – influence – “it” or you want “it” to shape and influence you. You cannot influence without connection – otherwise you’re trying to influence from a distance, and it won’t land If you cannot connect you won’t be a proactive influencer Good to understand this and so you can choose who and what you are connected to – if you don’t choose someone else will. 3 levels of connection – Intuitive – Emotional – Intellectual This process helps you to better connect to yourself Connecting better internally – allows you to connect better externally The characteristics you admire in others – or dislike in others – come from your own inner workings You identify with characteristics that you recognise as being within you To admire you have to connect – to connect you have to identify – to identify you need to see it – to see it you need to recognise it A group of people may identify one popular hero – but we will choose different reasons because – intuitively – we are connecting with characteristics we see within ourselves What we admire in others is a projection of what we have inside – one reason good people are fooled by bad people – they can’t recognise the traits and reasons for why people would do it Hate is similar – you “hate” characteristics that you can identify with “you are saying that these are the characteristics I have – whether or not I’m showing them or disconnected from them People project different characteristics onto successful people Operational: Be aware of the characteristics Managerial: Broaden out your characteristics by considering who else you admire Strategic: Choose which characteristics you should connect to for different situations “I bring my board with me to help me to host events” Ask your self – who do you admire in these situations – and what would they tell you? However big your plan – if you think you can do it alone – you’re not thinking big enough You get to choose who you want – have fun! There are incredible people out there. We’re more scared to admire nowadays – we’re worried about being proved wrong There are fantastic people out there – let them in! To connect – look for qualities you can admire in the person you are meeting Whatever you go looking for – you’ll find – choose to look for something positive. “What can I admire about this person” – find something Law of Reciprocation – the more you connect and admire about them – the more they will connect and admire you It is about admiration – not liking – a person or an organisation See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
65 minutes | Oct 6, 2020
Episode 114: Making Things Happen - When to use Power or Influence
In this episode Stephen and I discuss Power & Influence - namely the 2 forces that you can use to “make things happen” This is a big topic and you’ll see from my questions and answers that it is easy to become a little confused and even disorientated. I did anyway. But we get there in the end - and by ‘there” I mean a deeper understanding of the role that Power & Influence can play. And more importantly it was clear that by understanding these forces you will be better equipped to manage and plan for the right results. Listening back I think I wish pushing too hard for a simple checklist to make things better - similar to other episodes - but in this instance it’s going to take a bit more work. Let me know what you think - firstname.lastname@example.org - be kind and constructive! Below are some notes from the episode: I’ll pop back at the end with some summary notes I wrote up after we finished. "Making Something Happen" – is an important part of the Human Condition – as well as a key requirement for successful management and leadership Start with clarity – what do you want to make happen and why Remember “Why to the Power of 7” – have at least 7 good reasons why you want to do this Clarity will help you make the distinction between ‘Making something happen” and “Making anything happen” – sometimes we just want to see action instead of a clear outcome Power is what you can make happen when “you’re in the room” – when you’re present Influence happens when you’re not present Power: What you can do. Influence: What you can get done Building up Influence builds up your capacity to get more things done If you have the time – build up your influence. Otherwise use power. The more powerful you are the harder it is to influence – your influence needs to be bigger than your power. Otherwise people will only see Power. If you underestimate your Power, you’ll under-develop your Influence Hierarchy of Communication: Could – Should – Must Power: 20% formal and 80% informal Influence: 20% Direct and 80% Indirect It’s a ratio relative to you and not to the room Informal power can be developed – inner work The more power you gain the harder to be influential One way to see the dynamic change is after a promotion – your influence drops as your power has grown Don’t deny your power – focus instead on building your influence Understand your audience to reduce the barriers to influence – sometimes they’ll see you as powerful and sometimes as influential – be aware of what you’re doing & the difference It’s the action that they will judge – not the intention I can be influenced by those I have a connection with and who don’t have a “Power Barrier” How can you maximise your influence? Build & foster a network of advocates and supporters Until you have built influence you will need to use Power – starting up an enterprise/project Strategies – 3 levels – Operational, Managerial, Strategic 1 Operational: Be aware of the amount of Power you’re bringing into the situation so you can calibrate your influence 2 Managerial: You actively manage the situation to use influence or power to achieve optimal result 3 Strategic: You are working out the different ways you can build both Power and Influence See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
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