44 minutes | Nov 29th 2020

Cultivating plurality so we don’t “should” all over ourselves, and bisociating personality theories with learning modes.

Practice Session #40

Welcome to my show notes for this week’s session of Practice!

We record these sessions every Sunday. I try to publish the audio on the same day of recording, but once in a while, I may get delayed due to various reasons.

Also, I will usually have the AI-generated transcript and my initial notes published on the same day of recording as well. On Fridays, I’ll (try to) go back through and proof the transcript while I add all of my notes.

I’ll be utilizing this opportunity to clarify and elaborate on points that I may not have conveyed as well as I would’ve liked to. I’ll also provide links to further information and resources.

So, on Friday, I’ll intersperse all my notes with the transcription from the audio below (unless I don’t ).



CK: Alrighty. Ready? Here we go.
Heyo! I’m CK, and you’re listening to Practice. I’m your functional systems integrator, and this is my podcast where practice is not just the theme of the show, but the whole purpose behind it. What started out as a practice of podcasting, as well as speaking in general, has evolved into a practice of self-coaching and self-reflection while espousing half-thoughts and providing unsolicited advice.

As always, I’m fortunate to be joined by my Practice partner and partner in life: Pam.

Pam: Hey, that’s me.

CK: Pam is also my pattern awareness manager, and every Sunday we reflect on the past week and my progress with this practice, along with other lifestyle practices, as well as theories and ideas behind the virtues of practice itself.

We’re doing this on the fly, so don’t hold me responsible for what I say here. Make sure to check out my show notes where I’ll provide some fact-checking, self-psychoanalysis and commentary on things I could have done better. You may find this and more information about this project at ForcesOfEqual.com/Practice.

Catch up with the Anomaly and the Linchpin.


CK: We’re recording today on November 29tPam: 2020. And this is ouPam:th practice session.

Pam: Congratulations.

CK: Yeah, 40 nice big round number there. And let’s go ahead and I’ll recite the quote for this week and this one just kind of popped up today. I happened to see this and I love the quote. It comes from stoic philosopher, Epictetus, who I’ve quoted several times before. And the quote goes like this. To accuse others for one’s own misfortune is a sign of want of education to accuse oneself shows that one’s education has begun to accuse neither oneself nor others shows that one’s education is complete. So it’s. Kind of a readily said a word it’s kind of riddle, like, which is interesting. So you have to think about it a little bit, but. I I’m still thinking about it a little bit too, so I’m not sure how well I’ll be able to fit this in with what we’re going to be talking about today, but let’s just kind of go over it line by line.

So the first line is to accuse others for one’s own misfortune is a sign of one of education. So I like this because it kind of. Talks about the, I want to say reflective process, but that I’m kind of diving into it deeply here. So when you blame someone else for your own wrongdoings or misfortunes, it’s saying that that is you kind of crying out or needing. To be educated. So I kind of relate that to, I think I’ve heard it called as a marriage or a mirror imaging effect in terms of cognitive biases. So a lot of times it’s stuff that we project is the stuff that we. Actually need to work on, or it’s a deficiency or some sort of malfunction for lack of a better term within ourselves.

And we tend to project that in a reactionary way. Whenever we kind of encounter something that might. Make us kind of react, uh, most likely emotionally, because we have this notion and we have this feeling inside of us. That’s most likely subconscious and we just kind of end up projecting that out. And most of the time, not knowing that that’s something that is coming from inside of us and that.

Is actually a reflection on ourselves. So that’s kind of how I take the first line or kind of what I like where that first line is meeting, leading me again. It saysPam:accuse others for one’s own misfortune is a siPam:f want of education. So does that make


Pam: It does. I think when I first heard it, what struck me was the choice of the word want instead of need. But I, after thinking about it a little bit more, I think it’s less of want in like a conscious, like I desire this way and more of want in a. Like in a neat kind of way, or it’s not something you’re desiring, it’s something you need, even though it’s like, want a neater are opposite.

I think that that was probably the intended

Pam:K: Yeah, it’s kind of like you’re trying out for it subconsciousPam:So I’m getting distracted. Is there stuffing thinking a lot of noises?

<spanPam:ss=”pam”>Pam: Oh, it might be, I just had a snack.

CK: The way wePam:e your microphone set up. We have the mic I’m hearing you out of, right at your stomach, right?

Pam: It just wants to get in on the, on the podcasting action.

CK: So listeners probably won’t hear it cause, uh, what we’re actually using for Pam’s recording is by her mouth. But what I’m hearing her from is that microphones by her stomach. So I’m just hearing a lot of interesting noises. Okay. So anyway, the second line is to Hughes. Oneself shows that one’s education has begun. So this goes on advancing from the first line. When you realize that. It’s actually you projecting your own thoughts and feelings and emotions onto someone else or something else. And when you realize that that’s when your education starts and that’s when you can start learning, whether it’s through self-reflection or probably through self-reflection and through the awareness.

Of knowing that you’re doing this, and this is a projection and this is something inside of you. And this actually goes along with one of my, uh, favorite for lack of a better term, cognitive biases called fundamental attribution error, fundamental attribution error, where. We as humans are biased as 10, 10, our biases tend to lead us toward blaming others for their actions. Whereas when we performed the same or similar types of actions, We also blame others instead of ourselves. when we’re doing it, we blame others. But when someone else is doing it, you blame them instead of the others around them or the situation they were put in. So this kind of, kind of aligns with that Pam:y mind, in terms of when you realize that your attributing, the error. To the wrong person or that wrong thing. And, you Pam:, instead of blaming others, you look inside yourself, this is where your edge of education begins. Or so the quote says

Pam: Nope. Like current example of that fundamental attribution error that I like to use, because it’s one of my things that I judge other people for. But I think maybe it’ll help people, um, understand the bias a little bit. So if you are in traffic and someone cuts you off, you think like, God, that person’s such a jerk.

But if you’re the one that cut someone else off, you’re like, Oh, I’m so sorry. Like, it was just an accident, but you don’t, you don’t assign blame to yourself for cutting someone off, but it, when someone cuts you off, you always assign blame to them.

CK:</spPam:right, exactly. And to take that even further. The notion that you don’t think about the other things that may have caused that person to cut you Pam: whether they’re late for work or maybe there’s some sort of medical emergency or, you know, maybe someone’s having a baby in Pam:back of the car

Pam: Or they just weren’t paying attention. Exactly. Like you just weren’t paying attention,

CK: exactly. Pam:tly. Yeah. It could be so many different. Possibilities, but you just focus on it being their fault and them cutting you off on purpose or, you know, for whatever reason.

Pam: It was intentional on their part, but when you do it, Oh, I’m sorry. It was an accident.

CK: Right. Exactly. Exactly. And then the third line of the quote is two cues, neither oneself, nor others shows that one’s education is complete and I’m having a hard. Time? Well, I mean, so the way this line speaks to me is more along the lines of a mystic philosophy where you just kind of let things be and things just are the way they are and this.

So, I mean, this line doesn’t relate. Completely or specifically with that, but it’s kind of like the point that you want to get to in my mind and just realize in, you know, in terms of realizing that things happen and things happen in different ways and a lot of things you can’t control, uh, and a lot of things.

You can control how you think about them. And so again, it’s us to accuse neither oneself nor others show Pam: one’s education is complete. So it’s almost an integration between how you think about. You and your actions and also how different things go into you and your actions and other people people’s aPam:ns and what other people do. So, yeah, that, uh, I’m still kind of trying to figure stuff out along the lines of that last sentence, but yeah, that’s just kind of where my mind’s going right now.

Pam: Um, well, I think the last sentence brings up a lot of different thoughts. First, the choice of the word accuse leaves it open to saying that you can still take responsibility for your actions on the outcomes without it being blamed. So you can still look at it and say, I chose to do X and Y happened.

Okay. Without it being blame or accusatory or like, or that you did something wrong, you can still accept responsibility for the outcome. And then I think also that there may be a little bit of that, like that it is kind of an unachievable state. That you’re constantly striving for that, and you’ll never get there, but that balance of understanding, like this is just the flow of the universe. It’s unattainable Pam:et to that Zen point, but keep it in mind, basically. Yeah.

CK: Yeah, no, I like that. And yeah. Thanks for clarifying that up. And it kind of goes along with something else that I’ve been thinkingPam:ut. And I don’t remember if we’ve talked about this on the podcast before. I kind of feel like I might’ve tried, but I know I talked to you about it. The. Basically the super coherence in terms of quantum physics, where,

Pam: This is when my eyes start to glaze over.

CK: um, but this has to do with like the Heisenberg uncertainty principle, where if you measure the, if you try to measure the exact. I think exact location of a particle, you can’t get an accurate measure of the momentum and vice versa. If you try to measure the momentum accurately, you can’t measure the location and

the whole particle versus wave duality. And. the particle is like a point in time and that’s, it might be what you’re trying to reach, or a point of like bliss or, you know, that point, which is like the goal or whatnot. And then the wave is kind of the spectrum along all the different point parts, uh, on the, around that point.

And so, you know, we might try to reach that point, There’s all these other variables and all thisPam:er, you know, there’s momentum around it. That it’s difficult to stay within that point. And so, you know, you kind of want to try to be around that point. As much as possible to achieve like an optimal status, but you’re never really gonna stay Pam:hat point.

Like it there’s always that duality and I’m not sure why I’m talking about it. It just kind of came to mind, but kind of fits in with that concept in my mind. Um, so I probably just confused people, even more kind of confusing myself.

Pam: No, I think it makes sense that something that I’ve been thinking about a lot over, just over the last few days, which is that when you’re striving to achieve something, whether it is work-related or a mindset or anything that you’re, you’re trying to get to, you’re trying to achieve. You’re going to have days where you do, you hit that goal and you’re gonna have days where you don’t and those days where you don’t, you can’t get stuck in.

I should be further than this. I should be able to do this by now. I should consistently like you can’t should all over yourself. Or, or you, um, you, you take away from the days when you are achieving that goal and you have to understand that you, you know, it’s, it’s kinda, it is the wave and it’s also like a constant upward trend.

And as long as you’re working towards being closer to that point on a more consistent basis, you can’t get stuck in the days when you’re not at that point. Cause it’s not

CK: Right, right. Yeah. The point is like a guidepost per se, that you’re trying to reach, but you’re not going to be hitting that guide post. Exactly. At that point all the time. So yeah, you want to be around it as much as possible, but you havPam: realize that there’s fluctuations and it’s the system’s dynamic and things are always changing.

So yeah, I think we can move on from there, but yeah, I do like that quote, the more and more I think about it and look at it. But, um, in other news, I do want to keep this Pam:ter than I have in the past couple of weeks, just cause we’ve been going long and I’ve had a lot of stuff that I wanted to get off my chest the past couple of weeks.

And I’m glad that I did that, but yeah, uh, one, uh, Go through and reflect real quick on her past week.

Pam: Do you want to start?

CK: Yeah, I’ll start. It’s been a pretty chill and relaxing week for me. I think for us in general, obviously it was Thanksgiving week and. As I was talking about last week, I was pretty anxious about everything around the pandemic and people getting together and stuff like that. And I was able to get a lot of that out of my mind and chill and stay in a pretty creative mindset and pretty reflective mindset, I guess.

Um, and I kind of. Distracting myself from a lot of stuff too. And we basically ended up lounging around a lot more than usual in the past couple of days, um, Thursday and Friday. So we took a, like a long weekend and I’m kind of realizing that I haven’t really been taking my breaks or getting breaks. Like before, when I really felt that I needed to, but I haven’t been going out to the trails and I haven’t been going out to the beach.

Uh, and that kind of stemmed from me, injuring myself and not being able to get out there and then just got into a daily flow and get started getting some other creative endeavors and kind of got into that mode. So without really realizing I haven’t been. Getting out and taking breaks. So we actually got to the trails on Thursday, which was nice and did a little hiking and jogging and felt great to be out there super windy though. But yeah, it was great to get out there, get out in nature and enjoy the weather. It’s been really nice out here in Southern California lately, especially for thPam:ime of the year. And so it’s been good to do that. We went on a little run around the block today. I did a. Two thirds of a mile to get back into the swing of things.

And I felt good with that. And Pam could talk about hers when it’s her turn. But yeah, it’s been a really good week for me, very Pam:-reflective and I’m starting to connect a lot of things again and have all these different theories again and have other theories come back up. And so maybe I could touch on one of those things a little later.

But yeah, that was my week. It’s been good. Nice and relaxing. How about your family?

Pam: Um, yeah, also nice and relaxing. I am fortunate that even though a lot of my clients are e-commerce clients, I did not have a huge black Friday. Push this year. I only have two, well, three clients that are doing sales, but they’re, it’s not the craziness. Like a lot of my peers are going through right now.

So that was nice. Um, other than that, yeah, just pretty chill. Um, I kept thinking that today Pam:Monday because it does feel like we’ve had so many days off and I’m using air quotes there because even when we have days off, um, we’re still, you know, Working in, on the computer, you know, writing or creating or whatever.

Um, so yeah, um, I ran a mile when CK, um, he did his two laps and that was all I was planning Pam:oing, but I went for a third and felt good, which is really, really good news. Cause I’ve been fighting a hip injury for months. Yes. I went for the third lap for a full mile. Um, yeah, that is that’s about it. I think.

CK: Yeah. So actually back on Monday, you went back to your new chiropractor

Pam: Yeah, he did, uh, an adjustment on my scapula that he had just learned at a seminar that weekend. And, um, apparently thPam:is one piece of like ligament or tissue that the scapula is held in place by. And if you get adhesions in that, Piece of tissue. Your scapula can get stuck in the wrong position. So he did this kind of aggressive adjustment on it, and it like snapped all of the adhesions and my shoulder went back in place so I can lift my arm over my head againPam:ich I haven’t been able to do for like six months.

Um, I still have some pain and some nerve stuff going on there, but I’ll see him again on Monday and hopefully we’ll fix that.

CK: that’s still crazy to me. That just one little, it just mint can undo all that stuff that you’ve been dealing with for the past six months.

Pam: Yeah. I think that that is a, a good perspective on anything that one little adjustment can undo or correct. A lot of stuff. It just has to be the right adjustment.

CK: Yeah, exactly. So, yeah, that was our week. And I guess we can move on. So something else that I’ve been thinking about, uh, this is kind of like a new theory I’ve been coming out with. Coming up with, and it just kind of came up this past week as we’ve been chilling a little more and I’ve been able to reflect a little more.

I was thinking about like the whole introversion versus extroversion concept and how in weeks past, I’ve talked about my. Tendency to consider or over consider my super system. And I, and because of that in the past, I kind of been tapping down my self assertiveness in my own system. And, um, you know, throughout the past several months I’ve been working on developing myself assertion and in forcing my own system.

Or, um, enforcing, that’s not the right word, but starting my own system, I guess, keep using that word. But I was thinking about how, you know, even in light of this whole pandemic and how we’ve been staying in place, and we’ve been pretty much self quarantining this entire time, other than. Going to the trails every now and then, or Pam going to the grocery store.

But that’s pretty much all that we do in terms of going out into the public. And even still, like I realized I was still, you know, kind of, depending on. The super system or what I thought about the super system, which led me to all this anxiety about the pandemic, you know, like how everybody else is behaving and how this pandemic is getting out of control.

And that caused all this anxiety for me over or last week. And so, and then I realized this past week, You know, I was able to tamp down that anxiety. I didn’t really have as much of that, this, uh, this most recent week. And you know, maybe some of that had to do with me getting all that off my chest last week and the podcast and asserting myself and saying what’s on my mind, but I’m also wondering if it had to do with me just.

Being at home and being isolated and being isolated from the outside world and not looking at social media or any news or any PR I pretty much didn’t look at any outside information this past week. And so I’m wondering if that kind of helped me get the super system out of my mind. So on that note, I’m wondering about the whole concept of introversion and how that relates to the super system and how these outside forces impact us.

And before all the technology. That we have today, it was much harder for an individual to get outside information other than their direct contacts or their tribe or the people around them, you know, their social. Circle or their neighborhood per se. But these days we have all this social media and all this information.

So when we do kind of go off, you know, as.

Uh, you know, if we, if we are introverted and having introverted tendencies and we do go off on our own or kind of close ourselves off, close ourselves off to the outside world, we still have that Avenue to the outside world through social media. And so. Uh, I’m not, so I’m not exactly sure where I’m going with this.

This is kind of new something that I’ve been theorizing, but I feel like that there. Um, so let me back up a little bit and go over introversion versus extroversion and how I think that Needs to be a balance between the two for people in general to be, I mean, this is just my whole kind of thing with functional systems integration and everything else, you know, everything’s on a spectrum and there’s different sides to spectrum and there’s benefits to different sides.

But in the end, we want to meet somewhere in the middle. And integrate all these different things to have the most optimal experience. So like when it comes to introversion and extroversion, you want to have some of each and. This is kind of how I see myself. I see myself more of an ambivert, which is kind of a mix of the two you’re kind of in the middle and you can, you’d be fine and extroverted situations, and you’d also be fine in introverted situations.

And so I, I feel like that’s kind of like the optimal place to be, have a balance and be integrated, but I feel like. These days, we’re not allowed to have as much of a balance of that introverted side, because when we do, you know, maybe we want to, for lack of a better term, close ourselves to the outside world and kind of go within ourselves and do whatever, whether that’s self-reflect or just relax and be, but yeah.

For those of us who are unable to get ourselves away from the technology and social media, we’re not able to do that. Get into that introverted mode completely because then we’re still inundated by the super system and outside world through social media, not to mention that that’s, uh, an adulterous form of. Socializing, you know, it’s not as beneficial as socializing naturally, you know, face to face and whatnot. There’s all these different nuances and different signals and signals can get mixed up because there’s that lack of human to human interaction. So. I feel like that there’s an imbalance between the extroversion and introversion concepts.

And I mean, now that I’m thinking about it, it kind of makes sense. Like I’ve, we’ve been touting self-reflection all this time and mindfulness and awareness and. Were unable to get into those modes. Um, something else that just popped up before a couple of weeks ago, I was talking about the focus versus the few smokes of learning and where, you know, not able to get into that diffuse mode or we’re not able to use or utilize that diffuse mode enough because of all these distractions where the diffuse mode is this kind of more.

Creative mode where you’re less focused, but you’re allowed to think more outside the box and think of a bunch of other different concePam:and make connections. You know, we’re not able to get into this mode because of all these distractions, whether it’s from social media or technology and other things.

That have developed in the modern society. And so there’s that and how that relates to scarcity the scarcity mode versus the abundance mode and how, because of these distractions, we’re we think, you knowPam:re lacking. Certain things or, you know, we’re entitled to certain things and we just don’t have that mode of self-reflection and awareness and in chose section within ourselves that we should normally be able to get in a natural introspective or introverted per se mode.

So, yeah, I don’t know, just kind of spotting. Things off the top of my head. Does that make sense

Pam: It does. Um, I was sort of thinking of something similar last night when we were watching passengers. The, was it Chris Pratt? I don’t know. One of the Chris’s, um, And I was thinking how I could spend 90 years on a spaceship with you and no one else like that, that didn’t seem traumatic to me because we’ve built this life where we are mostly alone and are alone together, I guess, in a good way.

Um, but. That, you know, six, seven Pam:s ago, we had basically the exact same life that we have now, but it was full of a lot more TV and distractions and not as much time journaling or doing taro or astrology, or, um, sometimes I just sit and shuffle a deck of cards and let my mind wander. So even though our life is exactly the same now, as it was.

Eight years ago in the sense of that, it’s just the two of us and we’re, you know, Pam:e here and we’ve got, you know, obviously a little bit different because of the pandemic, but, um, not much in our day to day is different. Except the level of distraction before we were a lot more distracted, there was a lot more TV, a lot more everything else.

And now there’s a lot more, what’s like an intro section, I guess, instead of distraction.

CK: right, right.

Pam: Um, it’s a much different life, even though it’s not

CK: Yeah. And I think the, so the reason that I’m getting into this concept or notion through introversion versus extroversion is that I think a lot of people who may identify themselves as being introverted are in this. Time now where they’re self isolated. And you would think that this would be a great scenario for introverts, but because we’re being distracted and we’re inundated with all this social media and all this other stuff that we’re not actually able to tap into the.

Powers of the practices that we would normally be getting into when we isolate in terms of like what I mentioned before, likPam:e self-reflection and the introspection and stuff like that. So we’re having issues, a lot of issues with mental health and, you know, basically, I mean, just to reiterate that you would think that introverts.

Being able to be more alone and isolated during this time would thrive. But if your still being influenced and distracted by this outside media and social media, which again is, uh, you know, bastardized or Pam:Pam:ies for lack of better terms, um, a form of socializing. Then that kind of gives you some perspective of why introverts might be running into issues during this time of isolation. So, yeah, just stuff. This is what goes on in my head. So I think we’re getting up on time here. We might have gone over already. So did you have anything else that you wanted to share or anything going on with the cards or the stars todPam:Pam:>Pam: You know, it’s been a very quiet week for, uh, your natal chart. You do, you have the moon in opposition to mercury, which means that, um, you are able to access and express what you actually feel. Um, your thoughts may be more emotionally enhanced and you have access to emotions that maybe aren’t usually available to you.

So that’s really all that’s going on for you today.

CK: All right.

Pam: We do have aPam:ar eclipse happening tomorrow, though. So, um, I won’t, you know, a lot of people use that for manifesting, but it’s actually not really what they are good for. It’sPam:e about reflecting because the moon reflects light. So you want to, um, you want to think about like reflecting and looking at what you need to, um, let go and overcome versus what you need to move forward and achieve.

So people can do that on the thing.

CK: Sounds good to me.

Pam: Yeah.

CK: So, yeah, let’s end things there and. I will go ahead and remind people that the not bad advice trailer is out. So check that outPam: subscribe on Apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. And we’re planning on releasing the first episode this coming week. I think so.

I’m still on track. I think I, yeah, I got to get you the information, but yeah, it shouldn’t be much. Shouldn’t have to do much, so yeah. Have look out for that. Keep a look out for that. And maybe I’ll append the trailer to the end of this episode. So yeah. Keep listening to the end, if you want to hear that.

And so Pam, where can people find you?

Pam: You can find

me on Twitter where I am. Pamela underscore Ireland.

CK: Oh, and I did tweet last week and I Facebooked, I basically just shared the practice session from last week. So that’s out there and hopefully you get more into doing little things like that here and there. So you might be able to find me on Twitter at CK disco. And so, yeah, that’s it. Thank you for joining me this week.

Thank you for Pam. Thank you to Pam for joining me as always. And thank you for Pam. So I hope you come back next week and keep on practicing to loo

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