Listen Now

It's the holidays and we're pulling this episode out of our giant sack as we discuss Have Yourself a Maily Linda Christmas. Hear about the tragedy of banana history; whether poop does, in fact, go through the mail; the biting tension of the Ottoman Situation; and the two things that definitely always happen when Briddany arm wrestles someone.

We jump back in time briefly to cover an earlier Season 10 episode, Boys Just Wanna Have Fungus. Hear about that cake that didn't taste nearly enough of the gallons of gin in it, thoughts about the best apocalypse skills, the eternal question of whether Paulina Porizkova was a clown...or a...gymnast(?), and just...so much conversation about mushrooms. And the word "gills." So. much.

Holy Beckett and Mia, we're back and talking about Season 10's Land of the Loft. Hear about the trials and tribulations of making friends when you're an adult; the sheer absurdity of leaving the house AT NIGHT; that time that the dermatologist threw a chunk of Jen's skin onto a tray inches from her nose (AND IT JIGGLED); the beauty of the gas station poop scene; and just...so many Briddany burps.

Season 10 ARRIVES, you guys. And it brings a gift called NAT. We discuss how pure and phenomenal she is, along with skin care tips and admonishments, how donuts or bagels or hats or cheese of the month are actually really solid guesses about gifts AND really solid gifts. Plus: so much Nat love, you guys. Just...so much.

Swing over this way and listen to us discuss Season 3's It Snakes a Village. We cover how communication could fix just about every problem ever but mainly could keep you from being kicked out of your ACTIVE SENIORS condo association; who we want to be when we are old and it turns out that's sort of Golden Girls and sort of punk rock Helen Kellerman; and probably most importantly, what IS at www.womaninflatesaballonandsitsonitandpopsit.com??

We're back to talk Season 1's Sexy Dance Fighting - the one that started this whole obsession in the first place. Hear about the time our Ma tried to teach Jen to fight. Learn about how it's perfectly okay to only have one 4:30 meeting a day, or it's also okay to have a lot of little meetings throughout the day. Poop how you want, is what we're saying. Just don't forget to do your kegels.

Those noises you hear in the ceiling are just us putting the ladder back and talking about Season 9's finale, Yes Without My Zeke. We discuss the finer points of naming wrestling moves, how much better Zeke's dad was about managing his kid's impulse control than the parents of our contemporaries, the joy of a portmanteau including your name (Zekends, anyone?), and guys: ARNOLD.

Holy Left Shark, we're back and talking about Season 9's PTA it Ain't So. In this one we discuss the return of Colleen Caviello, that poop euphemism that is both the best and the worst at the same time, how we completely get Gene's impulse to put the dirty dishes out the back door, the fact that you can legit smell that hardware store just by looking at the utterly perfect animation of it, and worry about the cliffhanger that is "WHO CLEANED UP THE SAND??"

Get on your hidden bicycle and get your free scoops, we're talking about The Gene Mile. We discuss our very own Dr. Gooddoctor, otherwise known as Our Mother, Who Was Always Willing to Write Us a Note to Get Out of Anything, Ever, as well as how it's more important to show up than to be fast, always, and and and how amazing it is that Tina totally beat Jimmy Jr with her own don't-move-your-arms-ever run (spoiler alert geez sorry). Also: you cannot share dairy because that ess is just WRONG, rum raisin ice cream sounds good but rum raisin sorbet can go to hell, and Gene's big race finish is moving as hell and we won't hear otherwise, the end amen.

We get really into the memory of terrestrial radio while talking Long Time Listener, First Time Bob. We also discuss how Louise ruins everything because she dares to be hydrated; where regular fries rank on the matrix of starches; that time our dad was a DJ and intentionally messed with the rotation in his non-stop block o' tunes; and the total smoke show that was Christian Slater in the 90's flick Pump Up the Volume.

Dip our chips - this time we talk about Season 9's If You Love It So Much, Why Don't You Marionette? We discuss the magic of Ron the assistant health inspector's altruism, Ms. LaBonz's inspiring love of her own life and her ability to triple dip, how Briddany's go-go-gadget fingers are hilarious and too bad you can't see them dance, and our feelings on puppets in general and Beowulf puppets specifically.

We wear neat jackets and nicely discuss Season 9's ode to wake-less boating, ocean conservation, and keeping it frisky in the nighttime: What About Blob?. We talk about the polarizing nature of Gene's firm self-confidence, the weird, sudden appearance of a Scientologist - NO WAIT WE MEAN OCEANOGRAPHER, SORRY - and how delightful bioluminescence and oysters really are.

We did it, we recorded, and we talked about Season 9's Roamin' Bob-iday and we discuss what's acceptable and what's not acceptable when bread perving (hint: only perv your own bread, people); how metal childbirth really is; how delicious sandwich 33 sounds like forreals; and whether heat-lamp-red lights can ever be sexity.

This time we're talking The Fresh Princ-ipal. We discuss how we relate to the rip-off of a purely ceremonial prize, how vomit - fake or not - can be super triggering and how a haunted crowbar can be the most intriguing thing in a scene, even when that scene also explains how "downstairs" means "my pants." Also: way more poop chat than we planned, but we just go where the poop chat takes us. It's sort of a life philosophy, really.

Get out your business casual barrettes, it's (finally) time to talk about Tweentrepreneurs. In this one we talk about how perfectly the show manages to capture the terrible nuance of a poorly-managed business strategy; that time our mother had a terrible business idea of her own that she compulsively talked about to, like, the entire universe; and Briddany's weird-but-fascinating spiral from Bob's end credits to murder. And but also a special added bonus! Both Jen and Briddany's dogs deciding to be a-holes just all of a sudden and for no real reason. Yaaaayyyyy.

Holy gooses with tiny pageboy hairdos, it's a new episode all about Season 9's Every Which Way but Goose! We talk about why Jimmy Jr suddenly decided to be a human being and not an utter toiletmonster all the sudden; how this episode is perhaps deeper than initially realized and maybe goes the way of mythology, even?; and super deep cut references to 80s movies that you likely haven't thought about in a long long time or maybe possibly, like, ever. Also: Alan Smithee. That's the name Jen couldn't think of.

Break the bed, we have a new episode all about the Season 9 Valentine's Day episode Bed, Bob & Beyond! Hear about how Louise once again proves she is the most emotionally mature Belcher by far; the deep, deep 90s undercurrent that flows through this Bob's episode; how the early 2000s were like nothing and yet everything terrible all at once; and how arguments re: the location of laundry appears to be a universal equalizer.

We didn't know hurling was a sport but we do now, thanks to The Helen Hunt. In this episode we talk about the glory of parent-child bonding through lies and unskilled plumbing. Also how Fleetwood Mac sort of sounds like it would be a handyman company but we don't know why. And but also: cold pasta actually sounds good and you know it, fight us; and ways in which Kathleen's apartment is just exactly like a sick day in elementary school when it's rainy outside and you get to eat warm, buttered toast.

We took our sweet, sweet, horribly sweet time to get this one out, but it's here - we chat about Lorenzo's Oil? No, Linda's and we promise that if you listen your digestion will be vastly improved and your restless legs will take a long quiet chill. Or, neither of those things will happen but you'll hear us talk about the time a mattress pinned Briddany down and attempted to remove her pants so she can totally relate to Bob's stuck-between-a-mattress-and-a-closed-door predicament and also we discuss how toilet paper can really build solid friendships if you let it and how if you think about it, most of us really do have our very own A-chili's heel.

We fiiiiinally talk about Season 9's Bobby Driver and cover how important it is that you all give the Charleston its real due, the power of a well-organized crafting room and the true allure of 80s-and-90s-era-movie-themed needlepoint. Also: join us in the awe of discovering that toilet humor can be elevated and remember that time you had a portrait taken that was you and also ghost-you floating above your shoulder.