Your Best Year Yet: Part II || #Perspectives with Sharon Pearson and Matt Lavars
Matt: I'd love to ask you about your, your, your dream book that you have, that you'd set up every single year, which is absolutely beautiful that I do not have, that I will be getting after this random bits of paper, we'll have notes and paper and I stick things up. [00:01:18] Sharon: Stop the stress levels. Be gone. You can try it, come over. So I have a dream book. Yup. I have, uh, Good ideas and innovations book. Yeah. And I have my daily diary. Yep. So I like paper because then I like to write just the little special, quirky things that have happened on the day. So today I will just write in the podcast and a couple of funny things on with Matt tried to enjoy myself in that. Yeah. That kind of thing. Yeah. And then I have an innovations book. Yep. And then I have my let's get for real about the yearbook. So this takes me probably 14, 20 hours over a month and a half. I've been thinking about it since last November. So I usually kick into thinking about it in November. How's the year going? How have I shown up this year? Yeah. What am I pleased with? What have I brought to life or experienced? Um, where do I feel? Perhaps? I didn't. Bring all of me. And then I start and I still haven't worked out when we need to go into themes, but then I try to work out my theme for the next year. So every year for 17, 18 years, I've had a theme for the year. Just a single word or a couple of words. Yeah. So one year it was for example, health. That's turned up a couple of times and now the year it was fierceness. Um, and now the year was adventure. The worst theme ever. I chose John and I chose the thing one year of, um, consolidation. We thought we'd consolidate our debts, spent that you're in investments that we did. And sometimes one theme last for two years, I like emotional truth. It really suits me, really reflect you on who am I? Who am I being? How am I showing up? Am I being true to this moment? Am I being present to this moment? It asks a lot of me. And a lot of this comes from mindfulness. Yeah. Yeah. The beauty of mindfulness. It's not. Panacea mindfulness does not fix everything, but in terms of being, I think you're working on presence being present. That's your thing for the year being present to the moment that's being mindful. It's noticing this moment and not trying to change the moment. Think about another moment, thinking about where you go to change. As a result of this moment, I was with a friend yesterday and she said sometimes when she's sitting outside and she's grounding, now you sit outside with that shoes on and you're grounding. And she has a little time. What would she use to do is be present to the moment, be mindful of the moment, but recently she's noticed it's become. What am I going to do? And that's not mindfulness. And I think that's what you're wanting to experience this year. It's being present to what is. [00:04:27] Matt: Yeah. Yes. It's interesting how I think the first thing that I learned when I got into personal development, uh, about 10 years ago was mindfulness. And I've added on so much more competency in so many other areas, but this year I just feel like I just need to go back to yeah. That mindfulness it's because it's the foundation of everything. Like you said, it doesn't fix everything, but I think that without it it's much harder to progress. [00:04:51] Sharon: Well, I dunno. Do you relate to this? I am going back to mindfulness now, two decades on. And I probably [00:05:00] did it again about 10 years ago because I ran really hard for my goals. I was saying to my friend yesterday, you know, I'm really good at hitting the target, give me a goal. I'm going for it. I'm going to really work hard to do what needs to be done to have that thing, be it a sales result or something I've mastered this company, whatever it is just I'm good at going for the target. Yeah. But in that I sometimes lose me. And so it's almost like I'm still going for Tireds and it's not, but it's not, instead of, I want to notice me in this moment. Yeah. As I go for the time. So is that what you're noticing? Very much [00:05:38] Matt: And I, and I talk about this in the school, a lot that a theme needs to be a match for where we are in our journey and our goals. And the first theme that I said was discipline. And that was when we had a conversation where I said, I wanted to be a trainer here. And you said, well, you know, I think the attitude was kind of like everyone says that, which, which now I completely understand. [00:06:00] And you said bridge the gap between who you are in real life and who you are, who you need to be on stage. Which was the beginning of a journey of saying, okay, well, I can't just talk about these ideas. I need to make them a reality. When at that time I wasn't really learning on a regular basis. I wasn't learning every day, like how I learn now. And I wasn't feeding in everything that I needed to fit in. You know, every everyone's busy, everyone's got something. [00:06:26] Matt: Towards the style of like dicking around probably. Yeah. Versus. Waking up. I started waking up every morning and I would do study for at least an hour, maybe two hours. And I pushed through a lot. And I think that without that year, I don't think that I would be here now as a trainer because I would have fallen short on, on, I remember the first day when I said gave me a training on my own. Give me a, no, I can do it. It wasn't just a fluffy, which I see some people do. Yeah, I'm ready. It's like, you're not ready. Yeah. Yeah, but I put it in the Senate recently. Totally. I put in so much effort. And so now I'm still putting in effort. But it's a different kind of effort. It's like, it's more of a, I feel as a speaker and as a trainer, I'm more like maintaining and improving little ways and being inspired by ideas. And I find that the thing that helps me the most is to be more emotionally connected to myself and the people around me and that I can really be that demonstration. But I think if I set that theme. 10 years ago, it wouldn't work. My theme was present. Annoyed me. [00:06:25] Sharon: It was stuff that wasn't going to move you [00:07:33] Matt: Why aren't you doing the work? Well, I'm cause I'm meditating. " [00:07:36] Sharon: I want to be mindful to the moment. Well, good for you that doesn't get you on the stage. So you've got to have the hard skills with the soft skills. And I think a lot of this, the way I look at it as a bit of backfilling. So what are the hard skills that I can learn? So I enrolled in a program, get good at a skill studying online. Studying online course, whatever it is. And then, okay, so I'm bringing my being to it, but what being. Am I missing and can I now, cause I got the hard skill. Can I stop bringing more subtlety, nuance aspects and angles of myself that I hadn't really explored before? Because I'm now confident enough in the competence to explore more of me. And I think that's a great way to do it the other way around. I struggle a little bit. I need to have the tiger. I need the hard target. And then I backfill with the beingness. So my future self is a hard target. Then I backfill it over the years with who? My beingness. So I have my theme and I'm playing with creativity for 2021, uh, emotional truth again, which I really like. I have pain. Oh, I should show you. I've gotten the here. I've just had the best time I did this wild Emile. I'm just so happy with. Yeah, but [00:08:42] Matt: You're actually really good. Thank you really good at painting. Just remove that from the photos. [00:08:47] Sharon: Really good. I really enjoy you. Won't remember I said that. No, exactly. Sorry. I love, uh, so it could be creativity and martial truth. It could be, honoring self, which I think is also a reflection of mindfulness and being present to the moment and bringing all of me. So I'm playing with those things, but I usually have the theme first, so that's been weird for me cause I've been working on it for three months, two months haven't landed. Right. Then I work on a kind of a purse purpose statement. So I Remi see, hear, feel, or know that the purpose of my life is. And it could be for example, to be a loving and passionate woman or for me it's to be now to be my true self and to explore how to express that. So that's unbelieving. That's my purpose. It is most of our purposes. Uh, I never have a purpose to be happy. That is a doing, not a being, there's a difference. So I play with that for ages. I've landed on this for three years now and it hasn't needed to move. So I'm pretty, I had the first purpose I Sharon see, hear, feel, and know that the purpose of my life has to be a loving and passionate woman who inspires others. Playfully. I had that for 15 years. Loved it. Fantastic. So now my pivots has had a bit of a change, so, and I do that and it doesn't have to tie to the theme necessarily. Cause the themes is exploring different ways of bringing this to life. That's what my purpose does, Matt it's. If I'm being my purpose, which is to be my truest self, and express that with courage and compassion.