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The truth of the matter is that, as a Mom, I worked myself out of a job.  They will always need my love.  And I theirs.  But they don’t need me.  And there is a grief there that is true.  Over the loss of identity.   I don’t regret building my life around them.  If I had it to do over again, I wouldn’t change a thing.   But it's time to both acknowledge the impact I've had on my kids and to pick a new focus. Sign up for my list here.  You'll be the first to know about Project Joy and other great stuff.

I'm a big fan of maternal intuition (Mom's wisdom).  But when are you being guided by intuition and when is it just a brain fart?  An old story or unconscious bias?  Tune in this week to learn a quick test to sort out when you're getting information that is helpful vs. following an unconscious bias that will hold you back. We spring clean our houses.  Empty our closets and sort out things that no longer fit.  So let's give our brain the same opportunity to start the spring by letting go of old grudges, stories about our past mistakes and habits that we are ready to change.  Click here to grab my Spring Clean Your Brain special.

Many parents want my help in getting their kids to tell them what's really going on in their lives.  They do this both because they want connection and they see it as a way to keep their kids safe. Tune in this week to find out the secret to getting your kids to talk to you about things that really matter. If you'd like to learn more about how having support could help YOU, we should talk.  Click here to schedule a time to tell me what's going on and what you'd like to change.  We'll talk about how we could make that happen. If you'd like to support the podcast (thank you!!!), click here.

Sometimes we get into situations where we feel a little over our heads.  Tune in this week to learn 2 strategies to make those situations easier to bear. 1.  Relentlessly being your own compassionate witness. 2.  Borrowing someone else's belief in you when your own faith in yourself is a little shaky. If you want a coach on your side to help you navigate a challenging situation, we should talk.  Click here to schedule a free, 45 minute call to explore what having support could do for you. You'll leave the call with a clear idea of your next steps and feeling like it was time well spent.  One of my clients, Emily, said "I thought it would be weird telling a stranger my problems but you were so easy to talk to.  I'm so glad we talked and I got the support I needed."

We live in a world that is more conducive to anxiety than play.  So play won’t necessarily feel good enough to entice you away from work until you rewire your brain for more joy. Your brain will say "oh you can go do that when you send that email...finish the dishes..." (get your work done) But your brain is a liar. She's a snake oil salesman. Your work will never be done. It will expand to fit your available time. Tune in this week to find out why play doesn't feel more enticing and what to do about that. Wanna play more?  Need help with those pesky, joy-stealing thoughts?  Grab my February special - 3 - 30 minute zoom sessions for $97.

You can give what you don't have.  Moms do it all the time.  You read news stories of moms lifting hundreds of pounds when their kid is trapped.  Or Ben Carson's mom making Ben and his brother write 2 book reports a week for her, even though she couldn't read! We moms are resourceful and I love that about us. But all that giving causes us to go into a kind of Mom debt. This week, I'll unpack what that is and how to not let Mom Debt spin out of control. Please take advantage of the Change Any Habit February Special by clicking here.

You don't have a photographic memory and neither do I.  But we still place a lot of stock in our memories to be reliable and it turns out they are not.   Memory is a creative process.  We change our memories, every time we think about them. Tune in this week to find out how memory REALLY works and how to use this information to your advantage. To take advantage of the 30 minute free session offer, do one of these 3 things by midnight, February 5th.   1.  Rate the podcast on Apple and a screen shot to allie@allieirwin.com 2.  Write a couple sentence review of what you like about the podcast or why someone should listen to it and send me a screen shot. 3.  Join my Patreon community here at any level and Patreon will send me a notification.   Then I'll send a scheduling link so you can find a time that works for you.  Easy peasy 😊

My family had a recent "hiccup" that turns out is very common mishap with the young adult crowd.  And it showed me how far we've come. So often parents come to me thinking that I'm going to take their problems away.   Nope.  I would if I could but that's not real life. I'm going to teach you how to stay connected to your own wisdom so that you can do what YOU know needs to be done.  Sounds worse, but I promise it's better. If you'd like to support the show through Patreon click here. Want to learn more about what having me in your corner with 1:1 personal support?  Click here for a no obligation call to explore what that could be like for you.

Many times parenting just feels too hard for too little reward.  So this week I share the framework I use to figure out where I'm out of balance so that I can get back to enjoying my family. That’s what I want for you. I want you to LOVE this phase of your life.  And the next one, and the next one.  I want you to be happy now. And if you want that too, Click here to book a free call where we will sort out what’s going on for you and make a plan. And if this podcast helped you think about parenting in a new way, please subscribe so that YOU don’t miss an episode and share it with a friend.  They'll be glad you did. 

How can you tell, before you click, if an article is going to be helpful to you?  Or will it just leave you feeling worse? Listen this week as I deconstruct 2 articles in real time that purport to answer the same question - Why do kids of good parents struggle?  Both articles leave their reader worse off but in completely different ways.  By deconstructing them, I'll show you the tricks they use to get you to click, lull you into a sense of safety and then gut-punch you with guilt. If you are looking for support in 2023 to become more confident and have more fun with your family, click here.  This is a link to have a free conversation with me about what is going on with your family and what you'd like to create instead.  Together we'll make a plan that will get you there.  

Serious listener question:  I feel like I don't matter that much to my kids, now that they're teens.  What do I do? Recommendations + fun questions: * Biggest Pet Peeve. * Favorite Parenting Book * Favorite Holiday Tradition If you'd like to learn more about how to put the podcast ideas into action by working together, or if you'd like to work on something we haven't covered, schedule a free, no obligation call by clicking this link.  Putting the podcast into Action ❤️. These calls are free, fun, and feel like a conversation with a wise friend.

When it comes to parenting teenagers, your best move is to do things because you want to do them, not because you're banking on things like appreciation or even polite attendance as the expected outcome.  Because no one knows what outcome will happen.   So your best bet long term is to learn to pair activities that you can genuinely find joy in doing with your goals. Want my personal help in figuring out how to do that for your family?  Click here to find out more about how having personal support could benefit you.  The call is free and you'll leave seeing new possibilities for your family and with a clear best next step.

Improving your communication skills has long lasting effects on your kids.  When they become adults, their perception of their own social skills is influenced by how they communicate with you.   As parents, we can use the teen & young adult years to improve our relationship through better communication plus lay the foundation for our adult relationship.   If you'd like to learn more about how to put these ideas into action by working together, schedule a free, no obligation call by clicking this link.  Putting the podcast into Action ❤️

Psychologists say that there are basically only 4 parenting styles - permissive, authoritative, neglectful and authoritarian.  Which one are you and which one is best?  Tune in this week to find out.  

I created a garbage strategy* for Wordle and still got good at it pretty fast because I was having fun. It was a completely different garbage strategy than I'd been using for Duolingo that has kept my streak going for almost 3 years and 2 languages.  In this week's episode, I break these garbage strategies* down, because creating your own garbage strategies is going to make parenting your teens so much easier and more fun.   * garbage just means so simple that on my worst day and I feel like garbage they still work. If you'd like to learn more about how to put these ideas into action by working together, schedule a free, no obligation call by clicking this link.  Putting the podcast into Action ❤️

Raging hormones?  Immature Brains?  Terrible time of misery only to be "gotten through" or endured with wine?  None of that is true.   Tune in this week to find out what the latest research has to say about teenage brains. If you'd like to learn more about how to put these ideas into action by working together, schedule a free, no obligation call by clicking this link.  Putting the podcast into Action ❤️

As a recovering people pleaser, I developed an unconventional approach to make saying no or speaking up easier for me.  By easier I mean I made it possible for me to do without having to majorly psyche myself up. If you have trouble saying no to your kids, their teachers, you boss, the lady that wants you to help with the holiday fair...this episode is for you. After you listen to this episode, let's talk about putting this into action in your family.  Grab your free call here. 

Society bills maternal instincts as a sort of magical knowing that all moms have that tells them the right thing to do in any situation.    So when moms feel confused or conflicted or don’t know what to do, it feels like something has gone wrong.  Like their maternal instincts have let them down.  Or they probably suck.     Tune in this week to find out what maternal instincts actually are and how to build yours up in ways that will actually guide you.

Today I share my "borrowed from a business book" approach to setting parenting goals.  This is the process that set me free during the years when I truly struggled as a parent. Take a listen and feel free to email me your parenting goals so that I can celebrate with you! allie@allieirwin.com

I thought I was listening to good parenting advice this morning until I heard this one little phrase.  It was like a dog whistle for triggering mom shame.   Sounds innocuous on the surface, but loud and clear for its intended target.   If you've heard something that made you feel like crawling into a hole, tune in this week to feel way, way better.   Ready to really heal mom shame?  Click here to schedule a free call to see what having private support could do for you and your family.