20 minutes | Jul 2, 2018

Episode 070: Listen So Your Kids Will Talk With These Three Simple Steps

Listen here or READ the post below: We are shifting our focus this month from concerns that parents have about their kids to concerns the EXPERTS have about our kids.  For the next five weeks, we are going to let you know what issues the therapists are seeing over and over again in their work.  We are also going to let you know what you need to do to avoid the sad situations they are dealing with.  I can't stress enough how important the information you are going to learn in July is!  Make sure you check out each post/podcast made in this month! For today: We get to discuss how to keep your kids open with you and talking with you about what is going on in their world.  Would you believe that how you LISTEN to your kids can significantly affect their willingness to share what's going on in their lives with you?  Read below the learn the three-letter acronym you must remember to keep your children open with you. Why we want our kids to be open with us Let's first think about WHY we want our kids to be open with us in the first place.  When we understand how important it is to keep the lines of communication open between parent and child, we feel more motivated to do what it takes to keep those lines of communication open.  While there could be hundreds of reasons why, I want to highlight just a few: So we can know what struggles they are facingHow can we really know what struggles our children are dealing with, what's going on in the heart and head, if they don't feel like they can talk to us?  So much of their day is spent away from us, and the only way we can get a glimpse of what their life is like is if they tell us.We want them to be open with us so we know if there are some serious struggles that they are facing, struggles that they need help and guidance to overcome.  In some situations, our kids being open with us could truly be the difference between life and death. So we can stay connected to themCommunication is the key to connection.  When communication breaks down in a relationship, the relationship breaks down as well.  SO much research has been done on how vital good communication is to each relationship.  In fact, if a couple that is struggling to stay together can resolve their communication issues, they can often save the relationship.Why does communication matter  so much?  There is just something that happens when we share our thoughts, worries, joys, and feelings with another. We feel like someone really cares when they listen to us.  Especially if they listen in the right way.The connection that comes from listening well to our kids can help them feel deeply loved by us and the reality is, KIDS BEHAVE BETTER WHEN THEY FEEL CONNECTED TO THEIR PARENTS. Study after study confirms that the kids who behave the best had parents that were:a. Firm about boundaries and rules b. Connected with their kidsListening the way we're going to teach you today can create bonding feelings in both the parent and the child. How to Keep Our Kids Open With Us We wanted a way for parents to easily remember the steps of listening, so we created an acronym to help you out.  The acronym to remember is: R S V That acronym may look familiar to many of you.  It's also the acronym for an upper respiratory virus that can make it hard to breath.  We used this acronym on purpose.  We want your kids to feel safe enough when talking to you that they feel like they can breath.  We know that's cheesy, but sometimes cheesy things are easier to remember. Let's learn more about this acronym. R=Receive The first step to listening well is to simple receive the information that your children are sharing with you.  How many times are you only half listening when your kids are talking to you?  How many times are you thinking about something else while giving a mindless "Uh huh.  Oh that's interesting."  Have you ever done that so much that your kids caught you or you accidentally agreed to let them do something tha...
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