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In this special bonus episode you can meet Jennie Agg. A talented writer, journalist and blogger, Jennie works primarily in women’s health, expertly informed by her own personal experiences. She has been through a torrent of loss in the past five years. Since enduring a miscarriage four years ago, just days before her 12-week scan, she has suffered three more devastating pregnancy losses. She had repeated reassurances that nothing was wrong and struggled to understand the why of it all. Jennie is a powerhouse of knowledge on recurrent miscarriage, and shares her honest perspectives, growth and struggles through her stunning blog, The Uterus Monologues. She also shines a light on the experiences of other women with their own miscarriage stories by curating guest monologues. As we recorded, in the depths of Covid-19 lockdown, Jennie was eight months pregnant with her fifth pregnancy and excitingly I can report that she gave birth to a beautiful little baby boy, Edward, in July. Both mama and son are thriving and healthy. Congratulations Jennie! We talk about everything from the lack of open conversation about trying to conceive and the isolation that can result, to the unintended consequences and fallout of people’s reactions to miscarriage. Thanks to Jennie to opening up about the detail of recurrent pregnancy loss, which is just the tip of the iceberg in her writing and awareness-raising, shifting us towards a more supportive, stigma-free culture.

Meet Jo Love this week, for the final episode in series seven. Jo is determined to shine more light on the all too common yet devastating challenge of post-natal depression, and advocates for more support for mothers going through it, as well as other still-stigmatised mental health conditions. Jo is an award-winning mental health campaigner, writer and speaker, standing up for the whole spectrum of mental illness that so many women struggle with through the major phases of life, especially motherhood. A former laywer, Jo worked in London for many years, living life at a whirlwind pace and slowly becoming affected by the aggression and stress in modern lifestyles. Jo has suffered with depression and OCD since she was young, and when she became a mother five years ago her mental health began to crumble dangerously, to the point she felt suicidal and began making plans to end her life. Jo tells us about how her OCD manifested, through dermitilomania, obsessive checking and compulsive, intrusive thoughts. A highly distressing and debilitating cocktail of conditions. With searing honesty, she shares what the darkest days of her post-natal depression were like, and what it took to start the road of recovery – which is far from linear and is a lifetime mission. We also explore the power of dismantling core beliefs stemming from childhood; the sanitisation of mental health and experiences that are still stigmatised and misunderstood; the loss of self that can manifest through motherhood; and recovering from the trappings of perfectionism.

Kevin Woods is no stranger to the hills and mountains. He’s fresh back from covering all 282 Munros in just 97 days, straight through the Scottish winter and as the Covid crisis spread like wildfire across the world. This was his fourth round of Munros, and he’s not yet 30. (If you’re not from these parts, Munros are mountains in Scotland over 3,000 feet high, some situated in deeply remote terrain). Kevin is a winter mountain leader and a true man of the mountains. He’s also a talented filmmaker and musician, and guides folk around mountain routes across Scotland when he’s not pursuing his own hardy ambitions in the hills. He’s an all-round open guy, his climbing led by a true and authentic love of these mountain environments rather than an ego-led pursuit of records. When we spoke, he was already planning his return to the hills after lockdown, just a few months after completing his fourth round. We got into a deep dive on what his intense three months in the mountains was like – the suffering, the joys, the solitude and the daily stresses and questioning as Covid hit. Kevin also gives his insight into the planning and logistics of a non-stop winter round; the brutality of the north west highland storms he fought through; the days he feared might be dealbreakers; his start in mountain leading; and his attitude to risk-taking and safety. Watch this space for the film Kevin is producing about his winter adventure!

Angela Samata became a widow at 32, after her partner Mark died by suicide. There were no warning signs that he was depressed or suicidal. After talking to him on the phone, Angela arrived home just 15 minutes later, opening the door to find he had taken his life. They were 15 minutes that turned Angela’s life upside down, and the life of their two young kids, transforming them into a family that had gone through one of the most seismic, extraordinary experiences. Having been the one to find Mark, Angela was also thrown immediately into a new lived experience with shock and trauma at its core. Since then, Angela has produced a sensational documentary with the BBC on suicide, meeting communities of people affected by suicide. She’s also developed a vital training programme to support learning on suicide prevention; a short 20-minute guide on what to do if someone you know is feeling suicidal. All in the show notes on ofmountainsandminds.com. Please watch, share and pass on to whoever you can, especially those supporting people with depression or other mental illness. Angela is infectiously passionate about many things. She’s a mental health campaigner, sharing her reality of suicide with the media, various committees and NGOs to bring about change. She’s also immersed in the art world, working with galleries such as Tate Liverpool. As if this wasn’t enough, she’s a star sourdough baker, check out her amazing creations on Instagram! As well as her own very personal experience of grief, trauma and learning, we got into a deep dive on the practice of quality listening; the learning that emerged from filming her BBC documentary; supporting children and young people to express their grief; and the need for more action and change around the issue of female suicide.

Welcome to a conversation with truthteller, adventure seeker, ultra runner, Ironman athlete and Dad Freddie Bennett. We got together for this chat in the middle of the COVID-19 crisis. A time when Freddie was home teaching his kids, working and supporting his wife (a doctor). So thank you Freddie and family for giving up 90 minutes. This is a conversation about what can take root in the mind as a result of stress as a child and the legacy it can leave inside as an adult. Freddie was born with severe asthma and regularly rushed to intensive care. He was protected in a bubble and felt apart from his classmates. At home, life was often fraught with conflict, heavy drinking, discontent and a sense of instability; Freddie often felt the storm cloud of arguments brewing, before chaos ensued. Here, he openly shares a frank insight into his younger years, and how the legacy of stress tracked into his early career, where he sought stability and money to escape the chaos of childhood. But through his years in management consulting he was gripped by imposter syndrome, feeling constantly like a fish out of water, gasping for breath and belonging. He realised he had one talent – drinking. Freddie doused his insecurities in alcohol, drinking to feel part of the team. He became known as a legend and felt a belonging. Yet internally, “fun time Freddie” became crippled with anxiety and paranoia, which he buried deep within himself. A pattern of life that led to dates with deep depression and contemplation of suicide. Freddie also tells us about the reality of his life in lockdown; what his rock bottoms looked like; the difficulties of asking for mental health help the second, third and fourth time round; the transformation in his life from giving up alcohol; and his 2021 endurance plans. Thank you Freddie for teaching us about your life.

Let me introduce you to Dave Chawner. Dave is a legend in my eyes after our conversation. He’s a best selling author (Weight Expectations: One Man’s Recovery from Anorexia), award winning comic and mental health campaigner, who manages to bring upbeat vibes and humour into conversations about serious life challenges. We got together (remotely) deep in the COVID-19 lockdown to talk grief, mental wellbeing, eating disorders, recovery and writing. Dave shared a little about the life experiences that have shaped his mindset today. In his late teens he fell into the grips of anorexia, although it took many more years to accept support and acknowledge he was ill. It was fascinating to hear his refreshing perspectives on discovering actionable new coping mechanisms, long-term recovery and a heap more. He’s truly a shining light when talking about such serious issues, championing brutal honesty, real talk and empowerment in recovery. We also explored the culture of congratulation on weight loss and appearance in our western world, the surprising gifts taking root after an eating disorder and the guilt that can accompany them, and the painful process of writing his book. This guy is supremely funny and warm and I’d recommend you all to go check his writing and comedy out through the show notes on ofmountainsandminds.com.

In this week’s episode we are talking grief, trauma, terrifying experiences in the Sri Lankan jungle, PTSD, life in conflict zones and the unusual experience of lockdown on a small island. Meet my friend John Drake. We went to school together on the Isle of Mull on the west coast of Scotland; hung out as unsure teens. John is a wonder; one of the most intelligent people I know, and also kind, empathetic and self-deprecating, with a wicked sense of humour. Since we left school, John has lived a lot of life. After studying Politics and Arabic, he settled in London working with ex-SAS guys and intelligence analysts, before becoming a Head of Intelligence. He travelled from conflict zone to conflict zone, and spent extended periods of time in locked-down countries such as Iraq. During his university years, he spent time in the Sri Lankan jungle during the civil war, where he was attacked by an aggressive elephant that had killed six villagers, a sad result of human communities encroaching on wildlife habitat. John developed PTSD after this terrifying experience, a legacy that would stay with him for years. Then, five years ago, John lost his Dad suddenly and traumatically and was thrown into a new normal, grief characterising his every day, coupled with a resurgence of PTSD. We got into a conversation on grief and life that felt more like a chat over coffee than a recorded podcast. John shared his perspectives, with a good slice of humour thrown in, about everything from lockdown life, martini-making and sea baths on a small island to the trauma of his Dad's death and the immeasurable importance of talking therapies and CBT. Please share with others in your world.

In this episode you get to meet Rachel Kelly. Rachel has a boat load of experience in depression and finding her way out through multiple strategies, from good nutrition and "mood food" to writing, poetry and breathing practice. She is a bestselling author of four books, a public speaker and a mental health campaigner, working with charities such as Rethink Mental Illness and SANE. Rachel has developed a vast knowledge of the science of depression and mental illness, from the role of our neuro transmitters to the powerful mind-body connection. She shares her unique and hard-fought methods for staying calm and mentally well as we talk about life during lockdown and what it’s meant for her. We travel back to 1997, when Rachel was knee-deep in a high-stress job in the newsroom of The Times, working all hours on deadline after deadline to please editors. We hear about her sudden depressive break, during which she felt so unwell that suicidal feelings crept into her mind and she was left screaming in pain. In the 90s, depression was a misunderstood stigma, and Rachel tells us what speaking up and accessing help was like, as well as the self-care strategies she has devised over the years to help manage stresses and triggers. Rachel is a bright light of knowledge and sound, actionable advice for those working on staying mentally well. Her latest book ‘Singing in the Rain: An inspirational workbook’ could not be more relevant to the time of global crisis we're living through - go check it out.

Welcome to a conversation with the incredible Chris Bombardier. Chris was born with a severe form of haemophilia, one of a variety of bleeding disorders affecting people around the world. Growing up in the back garden of the mountains, in the mile-high city of Denver, Colorado, Chris did not let his condition hold him back from his passions. From a young age he played baseball and threw himself into skiing, ski mountaineering, rock climbing and mountaineering. Yet being born in a developed country with access to good healthcare doesn’t mean it's been an easy ride. Staying healthy involves a constant onslaught of infusions and regular bleeds, sometimes involving hospitalisation and always involving pain. Chris also has a needle phobia, which adds another layer of struggle when it comes to his treatment needs. Through the years he’s battled with depression which is rooted in feeling different from others, and meeting other communities of people living with bleeding disorders has helped him move past this. Inspirationally, Chris took his love of mountaineering to new heights, quite literally, when he decided to climb all Seven Summits, starting with Kilimanjaro in 2011 and culminating in a gruelling expedition to the roof of the world, Everest, in 2019. Driving his achievements in the mountains is the singular hope to raise more awareness for others around the world who were not so fortunate in the postcode lottery; those born with bleeding disorders in countries like India and Nepal, who face the fate of misdiagnosis, disability or death due to a lack of essential healthcare and medication. Chris tells us about the impacts of haemophilia on his life and mental health; the medical care required; his love for the outdoors and self-sufficiency; the challenges developing countries face in treatment for bleeding disorders; the greatest difficulties and joys of the Seven Summits; and how haemophilia actually helps him in the mountains. We also talk about the work of his Foundation, Save One Life, in developing countries, and what it's been like to be in a spotlight of profile from time to time. Thank you Chris for helping us learn about this. Please watch out later in 2020 for his Everest documentary, Bombardier Blood.

Meet Rebecca Rusch. Someone who has used her own life experiences to drive positive change in the world. Rebecca lives in a beautiful mountain town in Idaho. The outdoor world is her church. A multiple world champion and master of many sports, from mountain biking to white-water rafting, adventure racing and climbing, Rebecca was crowned the Queen of Pain by Adventure Sports magazine and was also in Outside Magazine's top 20 female athletes. Put simply, she’s a pro at suffering. Yet Rebecca is also a human being who, like all of us, struggles to get out the door for a ride or run some days. She puts herself out there in brutally tough races, and faces up to challenges and dilemmas shared by endurance athletes, whether its navigation or fighting through adverse weather. Her “why” is not to win at all costs, but a much deeper exploration of self and connection. Rebecca is a writer of beautiful stories about her lived experience; including through her memoir, Rusch to Glory, and a brilliant TEDx talk. Last year, she launched an award-winning documentary film called Blood Road, which follows her 1,200 mile journey deep into the jungles of Vietnam and Laos, along a trail littered with unexploded bombs, to find the spot where her father was shot down in the Vietnam War. Our conversation covers goal-setting during Covid-19 lockdown, self-compassion in racing, Rebecca's pre-lockdown experience at the Iditarod Trail Invitational, her evolving relationship with suffering, those life-changing days on the Ho Chi Minh trail, grief and finding new purpose from her father's death, through her Foundation.

Welcome to the seventh series! My first guest is Natalie Aitken. Natalie is a medic from here in Scotland who is currently exploring how to share her story more and speak up for the health issues that need more spotlight. In 2019, in her 30s, she lost her husband John to bile duct cancer, a rare and often incurable cancer. Our conversation reflected on many of Natalie's experiences through her husband's cancer, as well as the lasting impact of three rounds of IVF and her professional perspective on the Covid-19 pandemic. Natalie also shared the raw specifics of the challenges of being a medic with a seriously ill partner; how she has learnt to live with uncertainty and its transferability to stresses such as Covid-19; unexpectedly discovering she had fertility issues; the hope/disappointment cycle of both IVF and cancer; the need to commit to the hard work of grief processing; and the pressures facing the NHS through the Covid-19 emergency. Thank you Natalie for joining me and talking so openly about it all. Please forgive the less than perfect audio, this episode was recorded over Skype at home due to the need to isolate.

We may think we have control of our health. We can keep our bodies aerobically fit, eat a rainbow of nutrition every day, stay connected socially, meditate. But perhaps being in total control of our health is an illusion. I’m not suggesting we should live in a constant state of health anxiety, but maybe we should also think about the illusion of control in our lives. Maybe it will even help us live in the moment. Today we meet Olly Stephenson; a runner, adventure-seeker, climber, Dad and husband. Olly has endured an extreme adventure or three; climbing El Capitan (yes, the one Alex Honnold free solo’d), cycling across the US on a tandem and finishing the PTL twice amongst a long list of achievements outdoors. Over the past few years, he’s been through a challenge many times more extreme, painful and traumatic than anything he’s chosen to take on outdoors; a cancer called follicular Non-Hodgkins Lymphoma. Olly was told it was treatable, not curable. He learned he had a 16cm tumour stretching across his abdomen, which was encroaching on his kidneys - close to causing irreparable damage. Olly’s also one of the fittest, healthiest guys I’ve met. Low heart rate, vegetarian, supremely fit, well-connected socially and with a strong, happy family support network. His journey over the next year through chemo and several near-death experiences tested him in every way. Through the dark days, weeks and months he rarely had the chance to consciously choose to leverage skills from his life on the trails and rock walls; most of the time it was all he could do to endure and survive. The chemo drugs were nuclear grade, the side effects nightmarish, the needle phobia ever present. This may sound like a story full of trauma and struggle, and it partly is, but it’s also an uplifting tribute to the power of being mindful and grateful every day, a lesson on letting go of some control and seizing what is most important to us. We talked about the endurance adventures that took Olly most inner strength to complete; his diagnosis story; perspectives on denial and acceptance; surviving the chemo and near-death experiences; what to say to people with cancer; and the gifts that grew out of trauma. Happily, Olly reports that life is back to being pretty amazing these days, since he finished treatment in 2019. He’s back to fitness and enjoying all of the life things he did before his diagnosis, from running in the hills to quality time and travels with friends and family. Show Olly some love on social if you enjoy this episode and why not share it in a tweet or story with those in your community.

In this episode you'll meet Graham Connelly. Those in the Scottish running community might know Graham, he runs fast and is deep in the fold of Team Pyllon (led by previous podcast guest Paul Giblin). Graham is an engineer, a pro at fixing machines. But at 35, he suffered a breakdown and the wheels flew off his machine. He’d taken on big things at work and willingly sacrificed relationships and relaxation. He couldn’t sit still. He expected great things of himself and others in his life, continually. With anxiety disorder and self-imposed work pressures he stopped sleeping well, which slammed his body chemistry and gradually rage crept into his every day. He lived up to the stereotype of being a man, internalising his anxiety, manning up on the outside as things fell apart on the inside. Graham tells us stories from this time in his life; how he began to wake up to mental health and take ownership for his life, reactions and behaviour. He shares the actionable steps that he took as a guy living in the west of Scotland to look after his mental health and relationships, and the maintenance he still has to prioritise today. We also talk about the role he played in the recent Pyllon Endeavor 2, a 540 mile run down the length of Scotland in the heart of winter. Please give Graham a shout out on social to show him your love, and check out Of Mountains and Minds on Patreon.

This week I'm launching a special bonus episode with my significant other person Duncan McArthur, talking about anxiety, depression, career change and of course Covid-19. I’m also giving a bunch of shout out’s to a range of incredible independent businesses in need of your online love. There are many purveyors of delicious foodie products and other goodies that will brighten up your isolation station. This is coming at you from home, recorded on the little Zoom H1, so excuse the lack of professional studio quality but I can't get to the studio right now. More about Duncan. A geophysicist by training, Duncan worked offshore on a survey boat in the oil and gas industry for years, travelling the world from Africa to Asia and Europe. After a tough time with his mental health in the latter years he chose to take a year off, focusing on his wellbeing and throwing himself into painting, nature study, running and mountain leader qualifications. A few qualities strike me most. Duncan is someone who is true to himself and honest through and through. A selfless, generous friend, there for his people. He’s a ridiculously funny guy, making me laugh every day. So funny that when we first met I questioned how someone with such a sense of fun emitting from them could ever fall into depression and anxiety. Which is exactly why we should never judge and know that most people are fighting internal battles of some form or another, even if they appear fine on the outside. Duncan sat down with me in our quarantine nest to talk about the dark times in his life, career change, staying well and Covid-19.

This week, you’ll meet the amazing advocate Bethany Yeiser. Writer, speaker and activist in the movement to demystify schizophrenia. Bethany grew up an academic child in a middle-class household, a scholarship winner and a top violinist who loved learning, travelling and music. Yet she still developed the condition; a medical reality that was hidden from her consciousness. It led to years of homelessness, institutionalisation and prison. Bethany was told she was permanently and totally disabled, until finding the right medication. She was able to re-connect with her family, access effective treatment and build a new normal. She has not relapsed since. Bethany is living proof that this misunderstood condition is not a life sentence and is not always triggered by experimenting with mind-altering drugs. Bethany tells us about what happened to her, the reality of life on the streets, how she managed to rebuild her life and the myths around this condition that we should all know more about.

As a bereaved parent, your grief travels with you. Tracy Watt knows this unique loss well. 29 years ago she lost her son, Lewis, just hours after being told he had life-limiting disabilities and would not survive the birth. Yet he did, and she had 19 hours with him. Tracy shares her story, from pregnancy to the labour and leaving hospital without her son. She talks about the unique nature of the grief for losing a baby at birth; the acceptance process; what to say and not to say to families who are bereaved in this way; finding fitness as therapy; becoming a marathon runner and her very personal journey to talking openly about Lewis and her grief. She shares how she used other crutches beforehand, such as smoking, alcohol and self-neglect, to dull the feelings of anger, sadness and loss. We also get into Tracy’s huge new running goals for 2020, which involve the most awesome 53-mile Highland Fling race! Please consider giving this episode a share on your favourite social channel.

When you grow up in a world where gay is a synonym for bad, and men who show a feminine attribute are mocked, it’s easy to unwittingly internalise these feelings. Meet James Finn. He’s a novelist, columnist and LGBT activist living in the US and making change through his writing, mentoring and activism. James grew up the son of a preacher in a conservative community in the US. By the age of 10 or 11 he knew he was different. His local church had just embarked on an anti-gay campaign and one Sunday, as James was sitting listening to the sermon, he realised the minister was talking about people who felt like him, like his particular form of different. A terrifying and isolating experience that James now sees led to psychological damage. James has collected some fascinating life experiences and stories. He worked as a machine gunner in the Marine Corps and for the intelligence division of the Air Force in Berlin during the Cold War. He also worked in the sex trade, selling himself in the bars of New York, which he recently wrote about publicly for the first time. His years supporting those suffering with HIV and AIDS through the height of the epidemic shaped his life in a way that can’t be overstated. His activism started here; and now extends to many other issues and stigmas affecting LGBT communities around the world. We talked about James’ youth, coming out, writing, activism, time in the military and perspectives on the sex trade, plus internalised homophobia and the shame this can spark internally. We also get into what is happening with LGBTQ rights in the US and around the world, which issues need more support and more political will. Show James a big dose of love on social if you enjoy our conversation and why not share it in a tweet or story with those in your community.

Meet Henry Fraser, an incredible young man with a powerful first-hand experience of weathering the extreme challenges life can throw our way. At the age of 17 Henry, with his fitness, friends and future ahead of him, went for a swim one day in Portugal, on a post-exam celebration holiday with his school friends. Diving into shallow waters, he severed his spinal chord and was paralysed permanently from the shoulders down. Six months in hospital, with much of this time spent ventilated and unable to move at all, he was left questioning what lay ahead, what he could look forward to, how he could live in such an altered state. Today, he’s adapted to paralysed life - far from a linear process, with constant challenges to face – and the mindset and belief systems he's carved for himself are truly inspirational, lessons for us all. Henry has also shaped a surprising career as a mouth artist, teaching himself to paint beautiful figurative paintings with a brush in his mouth. He’s proof we never know what is around the next corner, yet we are equipped to withstand far more than we give ourselves credit for. In his own words, Henry may have lost his physicality but he has shifted his strength to his mind after years of perceiving his only source of strength to be his body. We talk about Henry’s life before the accident; what his time in hospital felt like mentally and physically; his approach to mindfulness and staying mentally healthy today; the joys and challenges in his day-to-day; how his work as a mouth artist has evolved; and what constitutes therapy for him. Enjoy the words of this amazing human being and please share with others in your world.

Jayne Nisbet is a pro athlete and fellow Scot who placed tenth in the Commonwealth Games 2014 in high jump. Jayne is a passionate voice for recovery from eating disorders, having struggled for years with anorexia and bulimia as a direct result of the pressures and judgement that professional sport can bring. She has since spoken out in national media about her journey through this, and her associated experiences with depression and anxiety. Addressing her demons and seeking external help to get to the root of these struggles was not linear and certainly not easy, but today Jayne can say she has found freedom. Named Scottish Women in Sports Role Model of the Year in 2017, Jayne is now a coach, author, blogger and public speaker in London. We get into her start in athletics; teen training and the first pressures she felt; her mental and physical health unravelling whist at Loughborough High Performance Training Camp; fighting to access the help she needed; and finally receiving meaningful psychotherapy (privately). Jayne also gives her hard-won opinion on full but mindful recovery, the similarities between eating disorders and addictions and her ethics on rest and recovery in training. What a woman. Go check out her show notes on ofmountainsandminds.com and give her a shout out on social if this brings something to your day. Finally, Of Mountains and Minds is now on Patreon and I'm in need of your help to keep this content coming. It's proving a fabulous listener forum for bringing the audience together - we have discussion, feedback and access to ‘Behind the Mic’ content and other goodies. Sign up for just the price of a coffee each month!

Meet Paul Shepherd everyone. A guy who has been through the darkest times with depression, alcohol and drugs but lived through it, a guy who is facing his demons and telling his story. After feeling three years ago like there was no other option in his life other than to end it, Paul has come a long way. He’d been struggling with a lifestyle in which he was constantly exhausted with night shifts and medicating with alcohol and drugs, and one January night in 2017 he waded into the freezing British sea with the intention never to return. Paul’s story was featured in Outrunning the Demons, the collection of survival stories by former podcast guest Phil Hewitt. Paul’s now a running mentor for the incredible charity Campaign Against Living Miserably (CALM) and is determined to help others feel there is another option out there, that they can feel connected to the world again. In the UK every day 12 men under the age of 45 take their own lives – a truly shocking statistic. If you know anyone who you suspect might be struggling hard, ask questions, be there regularly and share the work of CALM. Please share this episode too and check out Paul’s hashtag #someonecares.