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On September 16th we gave our TEDx talk, 'Breaking the Vow of Male Silence', at the inaugural TEDx Margate event at the Turner Contemporary gallery. It was a great event – and for us, a pretty terrifying one too! Join us as we debrief and relive the best and messiest moments from the event. We learned many a lesson that day, including how NOT to prompt your co-speaker up on stage...! Enjoy...   What is Odd Man Out all about? "We believe men are in pain, and when that pain is driven underground, men do harmful, damaging, reckless things to themselves and others. In opening up this conversation, we hope to change the landscape of the conversation about men, giving men the space to voice their struggle without needing to explain the CAUSE of that struggle as depression. The cause, we think, is the vow of male silence... and we believe that it's time to break that vow." - Nige and Elloa Atkinson   BUY THE BOOK — IT WILL BE £10.99 WELL SPENT :) Amazon UK | Amazon US | Amazon CA   GET IN TOUCH w: breakthevow.com e: nige@breakthevow.com or elloa@breakthevow.com f: https://facebook.com/breakthevow t: https://twitter.com/oddmanoutbook i: https://www.instagram.com/oddmanoutbook/  

Have you ever been part of a men's or women's group? It can feel a bit weird to say the least — gathering together in single sex groups without the buffer of beer, sport or work. This episode is part update from Team A and part behind-the-scenes look at how Nige recently ran a men's group at the yoga + wellness festival, SoulCircus. There's a lot of giggles throughout, and the usual passion from Nige and Ell as they explore the daunting task of bringing men together to explore vulnerability and to break the vow of male silence. Enjoy. -- "We believe men are in pain, and when that pain is driven underground, men do harmful, damaging, reckless things to themselves and others. In opening up this conversation, we hope to change the landscape of the conversation about men, giving men the space to voice their struggle without needing to explain the CAUSE of that struggle as depression. The cause, we think, is the vow of male silence... and we believe that it's time to break that vow." - Nige and Elloa Atkinson   BUY THE BOOK — IT WILL BE £10.99 WELL SPENT :) Amazon UK | Amazon US | Amazon CA   GET IN TOUCH w: breakthevow.com e: nige@breakthevow.com or elloa@breakthevow.com f: https://facebook.com/breakthevow t: https://twitter.com/oddmanoutbook i: https://www.instagram.com/odd_man_out_book/

There are lots of stories of men overcoming obstacles in our society — but, Elloa reckons, we are sorely lacking in stories that do not finish in triumph. If a man's story is characterised by uncertainty or vulnerability, Ell reckons we wait until it has a heroic ending before we tell it. We love the adage, "Fall down seven times, stand up eight," but are we missing something by not allowing and encouraging men to stay down there for a while, getting to know themselves and their fallibility? In this episode, Elloa explores some thoughts about why this might be with the intention of sparking a conversation about male fallibility, so that we can embrace more diverse archetypes of masculinity. Oh and she walked her dog Molly while recording this. Enjoy. -- "We believe men are in pain, and when that pain is driven underground, men do harmful, damaging, reckless things to themselves and others. In opening up this conversation, we hope to change the landscape of the conversation about men, giving men the space to voice their struggle without needing to explain the CAUSE of that struggle as depression. The cause, we think, is the vow of male silence... and we believe that it's time to break that vow." - Nige and Elloa Atkinson   BUY THE BOOK — IT WILL BE £10.99 WELL SPENT :) Amazon UK | Amazon US | Amazon CA   GET IN TOUCH w: breakthevow.com e: nige@breakthevow.com or elloa@breakthevow.com f: https://facebook.com/breakthevow t: https://twitter.com/oddmanoutbook i: https://www.instagram.com/odd_man_out_book/

Chester Bennington's suicide shocked and upset millions of music fans and prompted another wave of conversation about why so many men take their lives.  In this episode, Nige and Elloa offer their perspectives on male suicide in general and Chester in particular. There's a lot we don't know, but one thing is for sure: not long ago he was being interviewed about the new single, Heavy, and demonstrated incredible awareness. So what happened between that time and him taking his life? -- "We believe men are in pain, and when that pain is driven underground, men do harmful, damaging, reckless things to themselves and others. In opening up this conversation, we hope to change the landscape of the conversation about men, giving men the space to voice their struggle without needing to explain the CAUSE of that struggle as depression. The cause, we think, is the vow of male silence... and we believe that it's time to break that vow."   BUY THE BOOK — IT WILL BE £10.99 WELL SPENT Amazon UK | Amazon US | Amazon CA   GET IN TOUCH w: breakthevow.com e: nige@breakthevow.com or elloa@breakthevow.com f: https://facebook.com/breakthevow t: https://twitter.com/oddmanoutbook i: https://www.instagram.com/odd_man_out_book/

Ah, accountability. It's a tricky subject because it's so much more convenient to look outside of self and expect other people to change. Here at Odd Man Out HQ, we just watched the controversial documentary about men's issues, The Red Pill... it was powerful.  Perhaps the saddest part in the whole debate though is the fact that we don't seem to be emotionally mature enough to be able to hold two seemingly contradictory things at the same time — acknowledging that yes, women are often disadvantaged and have often been violated or wounded emotionally and psychologically... and also that men too are also disadvantaged and have often been violated and wounded emotionally, too. Pain is pain. We don't need to compete to see whose pain is worse. That's what Nige and Ell explore in this conversation: accountability, ambiguity and what some next steps might be to truly help close the gap and move the conversation forward with compassion and empathy. "We believe men are in pain, and when that pain is driven underground, men do harmful, damaging, reckless things to themselves and others. In opening up this conversation, we hope to change the landscape of the conversation about men, giving men the space to voice their struggle without needing to explain the CAUSE of that struggle as depression. The cause, we think, is the vow of male silence... and we believe that it's time to break that vow."   BUY THE BOOK — IT WILL BE £10.99 WELL SPENT Amazon UK | Amazon US | Amazon CA   GET IN TOUCH w: breakthevow.com e: nige@breakthevow.com or elloa@breakthevow.com f: https://facebook.com/breakthevow

Bodybuilding used to be seen as a sport full of 'freaks', but in recent years with the rise of selfies and social media, it has become increasingly popular — in fact, there are over 56million posts on Instagram tagged #bodybuilding. Author of Odd Man Out Nige Atkinson is a natural bodybuilder — meaning that he has never and will never take steroids to increase his size. In today's episode Ell quizzes Nige as he shares his story from discovering bodybuilding in the late 80s through to his comeback in 2016. Nige also shares the truth about what motivates him to be a bodybuilder in the first place, and how the messages about masculinity impact his body image, beliefs and his self-esteem. -- Join Nige and Ell for their signature style of conversation: passionate, silly and often intense. "We believe men are in pain, and when that pain is driven underground, men do harmful, damaging, reckless things to themselves and others. In opening up this conversation, we hope to change the landscape of the conversation about men, giving men the space to voice their struggle without needing to explain the CAUSE of that struggle as depression. The cause, we think, is the vow of male silence... and we believe that it's time to break that vow."   BUY THE BOOK — IT WILL BE £10.99 WELL SPENT :) Amazon UK | Amazon US | Amazon CA   GET IN TOUCH w: breakthevow.com e: nige@breakthevow.com or elloa@breakthevow.com f: https://facebook.com/breakthevow t:

In 1994, psychologist James Hollis wrote in Under Saturn's Shadow that "men's lives are essentially governed by fear" and that "men live under a conspiracy of silence." Fast forward to 2017 and there is much more of a conversation happening about masculinity and men, but for the largest part, not much has changed. Men's lives are STILL governed by fear and they still live under what we call "a vow of silence." It's a bit of a taboo subject unfortunately, as much of the conversation focuses on men becoming less violent towards women or men "going their own way" and cutting women out of their lives altogether. But what is the vow exactly? That's what this episode is all about — exploring and naming something that many men feel but do not know how to articulate. Join Nige and Ell for their signature style of conversation: passionate, silly and often intense. "We believe men are in pain, and when that pain is driven underground, men do harmful, damaging, reckless things to themselves and others. In opening up this conversation, we hope to change the landscape of the conversation about men, giving men the space to voice their struggle without needing to explain the CAUSE of that struggle as depression. The cause, we think, is the vow of male silence... and we believe that it's time to break that vow." BUY THE BOOK — IT WILL BE £10.99 WELL SPENT Amazon UK | Amazon US | Amazon CA GET IN TOUCH w: breakthevow.com e: nige@breakthevow.com or elloa@breakthevow.com  f: https://facebook.com/breakthevow t: https://twitter.com/oddmanoutbook i: https://www.instagram.com/odd_man_out_book/        

Following the release of their groundbreaking book, Odd Man Out: Breaking the Vow of Male Silence, husband and wife team Nige and Elloa Atkinson team up to bring you powerful, transparent and thought-provoking conversations about men and masculinity, cutting through the theoretical discourse by making the conversation personal. The show is for men who want to know more about themselves and women who want to know more about the men in their lives. This episode, like those that follow, weaves personal storytelling with commentary on masculinity in society today. Nige and Elloa dip into the book to outline the sort of topics you can expect in future episodes, such as depression, suicide, the war mindset, anxiety, fear and our collective discomfort with feeling and expressing most emotions... but it's not all doom and gloom! In the podcast (like the book) we also discuss what we can do to cultivate healthy masculinity including meaningful rites of passage, transforming your male relationships to create a sense of true brotherhood, reflecting on the legacy we leave, and practising mindfulness. It’s time to break the vow of male silence. Spread the word.