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So this podcast LOOKS like No Not the Mind Probe, but is it ACTUALLY No Not the Mind Probe? Or just a horrifying duplicate! Aaaaah! AAAAAUGH! Well, no, this is actually just No Not the Mind Probe. But listen to the whole thing and make sure.

War? What is it good for? Well, mainly to bring up certain interesting moral questions about what goals make conflict worthwhile. Also, when nothing is on TV, war can be a nice distraction.

Ugh, this episode is so phony, so plastic. You think you know someone, and it turns out they're just some clone or automaton. It's so hard to meet REAL people anymore these days, you know?

What if the Tardis was a lady? What if the BBC made a high quality document-drama about William Hartnell as a grumpy grandpa?

Avast ye maties! Thar be TWO Doctor Who stories involvin' pirates, and this be them. We also explore why the hell people seem to romanticize these raping, pillaging bastards.

John and Porter join the Doctor and head off to impossible worlds! With impossible creatures! And impossible to understand storylines!

You there, boy! What day is it? It's Whosmas Day, sir! Good, I haven't missed it. Here, lad. There's a big juicy Jagaroth in the butcher shop window. Buy it and deliver it to the No Not the Mind Probe podcast.

It's the end of the Universe, as we know it. And we feel fine. Why? Because Rory's back, baby! Also, the first Romana checks in for a medieval romps with androids.

Knock knock! Who's there? James Corden! And also the Doctor. And also some sea foam. Plus, we bid adieu to Victoria.

We class it up a little and take a look at two stories involving references to the art world. Paint me like one of your French girls, Doctor!

Humans! Silurians! Get in here NOW! Now you two are going to learn how to share this planet together, or there is NO dinner for either of you! Do you hear me? Now. Go finish your homework and wash up for dinner.

What are you recording? A "potcast"? What's a "potcast"? Is it about pots? What? I cannot- Can you please speak up? A doctor? What doctor? Who? Karen Gillan? Oh. I love her.

Ze Doctor vants to suck your blood! Vell, not ze Doctor per se, but ze monsters ze Doctor is doing ze fighting against. None-ze-less! Blah! Blah! Fangs! And so on!

Ain't no angel like a weeping angel 'cause a weeping angel don't STOP. If you're afraid of the dark, or afraid of ouroboros-like evolutionary loops, then buckle up! Don't worry, the Doctor dispatches both enemies in short order. Also, Adric checks in.

Guys, I know the Daleks have generally been vicious killers intent on nothing except murdering all other life forms. But THESE Daleks seem cool, OK? Just give them a chance, guys! These Daleks are fine! (Spoiler: They are not fine.)

In this episode, John and Porter take a brief break from their ever-present worries of solar flares, to discuss a couple of episodes where humanity attempts to rescue itself by subjugating other species. It doesn't work out well. The Doctor Who stories, John's faith in the fate of humanity, none of it works out well.

It's always tough finding a new doctor. You wanna make sure you have a rapport. You gotta make sure they take your insurance. You need to make sure they are a rebellious Timelord with a British accent and a natty outfit. Well, in this episode, we manage to find two new Doctors! Incredible.

Doctor come, Doctors go. We look at the final stories of the Tenth and the Second doctors. Also, Gallifrey checks in and screws with everything a little.

Today, we learn the simple lesson that all space travel to the Red Planet leads to devastation and murder. But hey, keep at it, Elon and Bezos! I'm sure it'll work out OK for you all!

What if Doctor Who were like Die Hard... but on a bus!? Well, that'd be Speed. This is not that. But there is a bus. And in our classic episode: a plane!