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For our three year anniversary we decided to go back both to the riverdale pilot AND the pilot of our show and make both the episode focus. In this EXTRA LONG ANNIVERSARY episode: a whole load of naval gazing, whats the deal with jason? a heart felt apology to lochlyn munro, we get really emtional thinking about fictional pilfs, why one chapter of jughead's novel will be an underground lgbt hit, fiona's brand new cutting edge bughead theory and of course...cheryl

In this Episode: Gaslighting a teen, cuckold wigs, IG accounts of middle-aged actors, statues, Polly Cooper the most interesting character on Riverdale, our love for Lochlyn Munro, and as always, Cheryl

In this episode: lili reinhart's powers, a long skippable riff on a podcast you probably don't listen to, 'is hal in bottom storage' somehow leads to one of our more serious and in depth discussions in mumsy history , we ABSOLUTELY mangle an easy pun, BIG NEWS for fans of fiona, and watching you make out from her window....cheryl

In this episode: the difference between a himbo and a sex idiot, davide quits podcasting forever, the sudden onset hockey fandom phenomena, two former indoor children desperately attempt to work out sports discussions, did everyone else know falice sounds exactly like phallus? cause we just worked it out after two years, davide gets embarassingly emotional about tall boy sadstuck and of course Cheryl, even if only for one line Actual episode recap starts at 23:14-I'm so sorry Original date of recording August 23rd

Friends, we did record this episode in July, so please understand that going in. In this episode: A wild guest appears! Our very own Sam Cutting is on this episode! Panopticon chat, raccoon dogs in Denmark, we review the greatest hits of Cheryl and Betty, Small Boy is here, money greases the wheels of power, Yer Baby, Fiona's Guide to Life Drawing Models, which characters has Riverdale treated poorly, and, as always, despite getting some BAD characterization this episode, Cheryl. Content Warning for discussing racism with regards to how the show treats Josie and Chuck, and homophobia for how this episode handles Cheryl. Sam Cutting's music can be found here: https://samcutting.bandcamp.com/  The Emperors of Ice Cream's music can be found here: https://theemperorsoficecream.bandcamp.com/

In this special halloween episode: fiona's guide to the history of jump scares, connecting with charles melton's pr team on bumble, fiona takes you to myspace, we somehow bring it back to tall boy, we're both too sexy to know about star wars, ASMR RP: your elderly relative vainly tries to navigate ao3 tags despite it being a very easy task but you are powerless to stop it and of course....the lady in lavender there sure are some jumps in audio quality in this one, sorry.

THE CURSED EPISODE THAT HAS BEEN RUINING DAVIDE'S LIFE In this episode: the logistics of hook hand masturbation, places hal can't pee, hiram lodge's adoption scheme, fiona's guide to the tokyo gay scene, penelope's mirrored sex sphere, with a heavy heart: balls copter and of course...cheryl   (sorry for the LONG gap)

So this time FIONA was depressed and took almost four months to edit.  This episode was recorded in the Before Times so enjoy our blissful ignorance of all things virus-related.   In this episode: an earnest discussion of Cats 2019 way past the date where it's cool to talk about Cats 2019, hook hands, fucking to keep the town safe, perhaps the best entrance on TV, Hal's divorce plans, Fiona's dad has not done any crimes, Hal and Hiram's friendship, and of course, Cheryl. Content warning for this episode: we discuss sexual assault in this episode.  1:21:27-1:25:02 and 1:28:26-1:29:20  

HAPPY NEW YEAR, is 2020 the year we don't go on a two month hiatus due to davide being depressed? we hope so   In this episode: we get very excited about season 4, the riverdale deep lore, riverdale#s 1 fuck, fiona's guide to the glitz and glamour of hollywood, kevin's dad's monthly meat box, fugue smallvilling, we make one (1) gaming joke to appeal to key demos, davide trains for the mumsy reunion and tragically without any dialogue....cheryl   https://www.redbubble.com/people/mostfrightful

Happy Halloween! Get ready for three episodes of Archie's Weird Mysteries!  Featuring: Nasty Boys, ghost jokes galore, a message for the creator of a famous horror podcast, wide cars, Davide's Jarchie Feels, and, if only in our hearts, Cheryl.

In this episode: melindas: this one is for you, davide's worst joke, one of the dumbest arguments we've had (I know), jughead's permanant record, dilton the vampire slayer, the magic mikenus archives, we cast vincent donfrio for season 4 and of course....Cheryl

In this episode: Pop, PÖP and Pep, a return of eternal fan favourite: us image searching in a purely audio medium, the person who has editorial final say over riverdale scripts will surprise you, we learn the horrifying truth of what recording at night causes, we take a brief moment to impersonate each other, penny is literally two faced and of course...cheryl   hey so the audio quality goes to hell at the end, some of it has been re-recorded, some is the original where it's more listenable, i'm really sorry, we're doing our best.

In this episode: Season 2 is here!!! And we've been replaced. We steal the gimmick of three very popular podcast men, Archie's nemesis the wingman, even Davide does crimes, ketchup advertisements, vampire church, Fiona's Guide to Music of the 90s, immaterial teeth, and, of course, Cheryl.   Content Warning: we talk about necro-bestiality with regards to British politics from 1:26:7-1:28:1 if you want to skip it  

HI EVERYONE IT'S' THE SEASON 1 FINALE (sorry its so so late, davide's mental health shut down again but we are back and ready)   In this episode: Fiona's guide to getting hustled by your own furniture, two idiots who live in cities attempt to talk AUTHORITATIVELY about livestock, davide is an empathic person with a gentle heart (he also wrote this summary), a history of balloons, what podcasts would riverdale characters have, archie fails the breakdel test, Marvel Presents: Slimy Greasy Alien (2018), fiona's deep worry about teenager's wearing appropriate clothes , davide makes a shameful confession and as ever , beautifully and inflammatory cheryl. Just as a heads up towards the ends there’s a discussion of suicide ideation and attempts in relation to one of the cast   If you don’t social media here is a link to the deleted scene we discuss https://youtu.be/Sgh7_MVZA4w

In this Episode: The debut of a new song, Siren and Harpy, Alice is bad at lies, Davide's one positive comment about Sheriff Keller, Jason's Voice, Fiona's guide to vehicular bong rips, Clown Talk, and, of course, Cheryl.

bwom Bwom BWOM BWOM WHIDDLE WHIDDLE WHEE WHEE bwom Bwom BWOM BWOM all my dreams are falling down.. crawling around.... SOMEBODY SAAAAAVE MEEEEE this April Fools we take you to an alternate universe where instead of riverdale this podcast is about a cw show where adults play teens, where the lead's shirt comes off at the drop of a hat to show his rippling abs, where an evil suit dad and a salt of the earth flannel dad battle for the soul of a young man and consistent characterisation is a fake idea..HEY WAIT A MINUTE

In this episode: a moment of mourning, why cole got swole, is the more reliable guide to american high school fiona or hit documentary 'glee'?, the shocking truth about barbie, an innovative new way to experience music, davide is serenaded by mr bob dylan, tom keller's guide to firearms and of course, Cheryl  https://www.stroke.org/

In this episode: Our longest episode yet!  Sorry guys! The third guest host! Raccoon law, egg tooth, Fiona's guide to the most mouthwatering lawyer, Archie's literacy gland, Bigfoot dong photos, a Jughead-themed Veronica party, and, of course, Cheryl.   Sorry this one took so long to get out, gang.  Fiona got Very Sick but she's better now.

In this episode: the second guest host, horse talk, so much goddamn horse talk, fiona's guide to expensive liquids, riverdale haircut secrets, the diet and reproductive cycle of jughead, marketing 101 with the blossoms an end to our contest and of course and thankfully heavily featured...Cheryl Content warnings: hey everyone just so you know in this episode we talk about suicide attempts, and because its a Blossom heavy episode we discuss riverdale/afterlife with archie's writings on incest and emotionally abusive dynamics on top of all this  i talk about a fictional dog's death Also Davide note: I am so sorry this episode took so long to come out, gang. my brain basically stopped working for December and I was incapable of editing. Sorry!!! 

In this episode: A guest appearance! Mustang, What is Betty short for? How Penelope gets around, wigs wigs wigs, Jason's curse, the triumphant return of Smallville, Fiona's Guide to Casual Conversations, multiple references to blood, CONTEST INFO, and, of course, Cheryl.