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Milk Faced - Parenting For Imbeciles

30 Episodes

42 minutes | Sep 7, 2016
033: Stranger Danger!
In this cheery show we’re discussing risk and danger and how much you should protect your offspring from the horrors of the world. We chat about physical danger, whether to worry about strangers, and the new dangers that lurk in the internet. But basically we’re just listing ways your kids might die. Links for you: […]
31 minutes | Sep 1, 2016
032: Sports For Children
In this episode we learn how to properly Judy Murray your kids and set them up for athletic glory, about Sally’s sporting success in the fields of horse beauty and hockey, and her shame at being kicked out of Brownies for planting pornography in a child’s bag. We also discuss pole dancing for kids, and […]
42 minutes | Aug 24, 2016
031: Holidaying With Kids
Villa? Hotel? Tent? Booze cruise? In Milk Faced 31 we discuss the ideal holiday with kids, and how to make your summer break as pain free as possible. Links for you: Our upcoming skiing adventure where we intend not to see our kids for a week is with Ski Esprit. Sally’s fancy Portuguese holiday tip […]
37 minutes | Aug 17, 2016
030: Milk Faced – The Return
Hello sailors! The good ship Milk Faced is back in port. Shiver me timbers, etc. After eight months of intensive podcasting training (drinking gin) we’ve returned to the virtual airwaves with renewed vigour. This episode is a recap where we discuss what we’ve been up to since the last episode. A few things we discuss […]
54 minutes | Dec 24, 2015
029: Kellie Shirley Has Twins
For the Milk Faced Christmas special we’ve been chatting to Kellie Shirley, actress off of Eastenders, The Office, Wimbledon, Run For Your Wife and One Man Two Governors. She talks about her 4-month-old twins, Christmas, Wetherspoons, acting, and wine obviously. During the podcast Kellie weirdly plugged Dawn French’s new book According to Yes. Kellie was […]
49 minutes | Dec 9, 2015
028: Boys v Girls with Georgina Fuller
In this episode the journalist Georgina Fuller joins us to chat about a variety of topics including the difference between boys and girls, life in the countryside, saying yes to things, village Zumba,  and the time Robbie accidentally punched a woman in the face. Oh, and how much she’d spend on a bottle of wine […]
70 minutes | Nov 26, 2015
027: Adoption
In this episode of Milk Faced we speak to Randall and Stuart, a gay couple with two adopted children who tell us about their experiences of adoption in America, and how it differs from the UK system. It’s a bit more serious than the usual nonsense we churn out, and gets a bit emotional in […]
67 minutes | Jun 23, 2015
026: Should I Have A Baby? (With Sadie Hasler)
In Milk Faced 026 we talk to the award winning playwright, author, columnist, actress and co-artistic director of Old Trunk Theatre Company, Miss Sadie Hasler, as she talks about deciding whether tor not to have children. The first three minutes is basically just a bunch of people shrieking having been in the pub too long, but […]
66 minutes | Apr 24, 2015
025: Children’s Parties with Joz Norris
This week children’s entertainer, comedian and general nice man Joz Norris tells us all about kids’ parties, magic tricks, and hitting on hot nannies. There’s plenty of advice on what makes a good party, so try and get through the first seven minutes or so when we talk about vomit and nullos. It’s a long […]
43 minutes | Mar 25, 2015
024: Baby Eczema, Baby Prisons & Books
We’re back! Did you miss us? This week we discuss dealing with children’s eczema and Sally’s plans to see the UK’s most expensive dermatologist. If you’ve got any eczema experience, drop us an e-mail: hello@milkfaced.co.uk We also open our overflowing postbag to answer one reader’s concerns about wine chat, and another’s worries about using a playpen […]
67 minutes | Feb 4, 2015
023: Ruth Field, Running and Health
This week, the author Ruth Field pops down to the Milk Faced studio complex to talk about running, healthy eating, her twins, and why her mother prays for her! It’s probably the best episode we’ve done, so well worth listening to. If you want to get into running you can buy Ruth’s excellent Run Fat […]
34 minutes | Jan 29, 2015
022: Punishment
In this jam-packed episode of Milk Faced we answer a reader’s e-mail asking for advice on punishing children. We also talk about the amazing ebay buggy advert and the boy who got fined for missing a birthday party. Robbie’s amazing thing: Togetherness. A really funny comedy from the US of A about young parents. Most […]
34 minutes | Jan 14, 2015
021: AIDSburgers & Paedo Teachers
This episode was supposed to be about sex education but rapidly went downhill. We talk about Sally’s mental dreams, rolling condoms onto bananas, and the prevalence of paedophiles in 1980s schools. This all comes from the Swedish genital cartoon which has angered people who are scared of their private parts this week: We also talk […]
35 minutes | Jan 7, 2015
020: New Year’s Resolutions
Happy New Year! In this week’s audio explosion we’re making our parenting New Year’s resolutions. We also discuss the aftermath of placenta eating, and Robbie’s move to the country. At some point we discuss the documentary Fed Up, which if you’re American you can buy on iTunes. If you’re British you can’t. Racism in action […]
40 minutes | Dec 24, 2014
019: Eating Placenta – Part Two
Merry Christmas! In part two of our human eating special we tuck in to a lovely Christmas meal of roast placenta. Just the thing to serve to the family. Will Robbie, Sally and our special guest, the author and journalist Mike Millar, eat some? Or will they decide it’s just too disgusting? Maybe play this […]
35 minutes | Dec 17, 2014
018: Eating Placenta – Part One
In this week’s episode we’re joined by the author and journalist Mike Millar as we prepare a traditional Christmas roast placenta. We talk you through the preparation and cooking of this delightful taste explosion. Yummy! If you enjoy hearing Mike feeling sick, why not buy his book, The Secret Life Of Numbers. Part two of […]
35 minutes | Dec 10, 2014
017: Breastfeeding, Protests & Getting Offended
Boobies! This week we’re talking about breastfeeding, or more specifically the pressures, expectations and barriers women encounter whilst breastfeeding. It’s in the news because a nice lady called Louise Burns got asked to cover up whilst breastfeeding her child in Claridge’s. Honestly, some people.* We also chat about this summer’s boycott of the Dorchester Group […]
36 minutes | Dec 3, 2014
016: Christmas Traditions
Happy advent! In this week’s show we get you in the festive spirit with chat about Christmas traditions. This includes our family traditions, and strange (arguably racist) traditions from around the world. We also receive our first ever complaint from a listener. Oops. If you’ve got a family Christmas tradition, e-mail us at hello@milkfaced.co.uk and […]
32 minutes | Nov 20, 2014
015: Girl Stuff with Louisa Peacock, Daily Telegraph Deputy Women’s Editor
In this week’s podcast a proper journalist Louisa Peacock, Deputy Women’s Editor at The Daily Telegraph, joins us to talk about women and how to raise girls. And very good she is too. We discuss feminism, body image, and how much she’d spend on a bottle of wine. Check us out discussing serious topics. It’s like […]
47 minutes | Nov 13, 2014
014: City v Country – Where To Bring Up Kids
Where should you bring up your kids – the city or the country? As Robbie is moving to the countryside after fifteen years in London we discuss whether the bright lights of the city or the tranquility of the country is the better place to raise your offspring. Also Sally reveals how much she spent […]
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