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Here is another conversation that I had with one of the moms in my Mastermind Parenting community. I was doing these live sessions, these live report card sessions, where we were just assessing where you were, where you are, where you're going. It's a big part of the process that involves changing behaviors, right? We can't expect our kids to change their behaviors if we're not changing our behaviors. When you have a kid that presents as “strong-willed,” quite often they may just be feeling misunderstood. They also frequently get misdiagnosed. This mom, she's here with me in the mastermind community, she says she's improved in terms of yelling by 90% now. No one ever signs up and says, “I'm a yeller.”  There's so much shame when we yell at our kids and yet we're human. And when you have a child that you don't know how to help do better, quite often, you lose your mind too. And so, then you just have like two people sort of losing their minds and it's just not helpful, right? Like nothing changes.  This mom has gone through our beginning program, basic bootcamp. For those of you who've been listening to the podcast for a while, we do have a group enrolling starting in a couple of couple days from when this episode is originally airing. Listen to this episode and learn how this mom’s parenting skills, and her husband’s, have improved so she no longer labels herself a “yeller!” As always, thanks for listening, and be sure and head over to Facebook and you can join my free group Mastermind Parenting Community, where we post tips and tools and do pop up Live conversations where I do extra teaching and coaching to support you in helping your strong-willed children so that they can FEEL better and DO better. If you enjoyed this episode and think that others could benefit from listening, please share it! About Randi Rubenstein Randi Rubenstein helps parents with a strong-willed kiddo become a happier family and enjoy the simple things again like bike rides and beach vacays. She’s the founder of Mastermind Parenting, host of the Mastermind Parenting podcast, and author of The Parent Gap. Randi works with parents across the U.S. At Mastermind Parenting, we believe every human deserves to have a family that gets along. Randi’s Web/Social Links Website: https://mastermindparenting.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/mastermindparenting Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mastermind_parenting/ Resources Discussed/Links Join our next 12-week VIP Parenting Program: https://mastermindparenting.com/basics-bootcamp Book your live assessment: https://mastermindparenting.com/live-assessment/ Join our Free Facebook Group: www.facebook.com/groups/mastermindparenting

I have a fun conversation for you this week. I have been doing these live report card sessions with some of my current moms, and I had scheduled one with Michelle and Liz. They have been in my program for a long time. They’re just amazing women and we were doing our session as a Facebook live, and there were a few technical difficulties and so whatever it was fine, Michelle and I ended up being live and then Liz was just kind of chiming in and commenting. But then she left us a follow up message. So you do actually get to hear Liz's voice and you want to hear Liz's voice. Talking about parenting, this is something that is one of those taboo subjects most of us have. Because there's something about talking about it that I think can feel disrespectful to your own parents. And then many of us have this worry that when our kids grow up, they're going to come back and blame us for whatever it is that we're doing now. It's just a loaded topic and conversation. And so, Liz and Michelle are moms that were doing all the learning and they were seeing big results in their household. And yet there was still a little bit of guardedness or just being somewhat reserved at times. And so probably six months ago I started these small accountability groups. And I just kind of wanted to have a conversation where we could really just sort of talk about this friendship that has developed between them and how it has impacted them.  I think the common thread that we finally got to is perfectionistic parenting, like wanting to be that perfect parent. Maybe you are the parent who is listening to the parenting podcast and reading the books and trying to use all the tools. And I think about this perfectionistic parenting as a “straight jacket,” right. Because it's just not possible. Striving for this unattainable goal and trying to be perfect is a protective mechanism. And, I learned this from Brené Brown, where she says something like, “Perfectionism is actually a form of procrastination because if you're always waiting for things to be just perfect, if I show up perfect, if I do everything perfect, then nobody can criticize me. Nobody can judge me, nobody can hurt me.”  But it really keeps you isolated and it really keeps you alone. I think a lot of us will resonate with this ideal of being the perfect parent and yeah, I hope you guys get as much from this conversation as I did. We talked about anxiety, we talked about perfectionism. We talked about friendship and accountability, and it was a great conversation. So enjoy Liz and Michelle. As always, thanks for listening, and be sure and head over to Facebook and you can join my free group Mastermind Parenting Community, where we post tips and tools and do pop up Live conversations where I do extra teaching and coaching to support you in helping your strong-willed children so that they can FEEL better and DO better. If you enjoyed this episode and think that others could benefit from listening, please share it! About Randi Rubenstein Randi Rubenstein helps parents with a strong-willed kiddo become a happier family and enjoy the simple things again like bike rides and beach vacays. She’s the founder of Mastermind Parenting, host of the Mastermind Parenting podcast, and author of The Parent Gap. Randi works with parents across the U.S. At Mastermind Parenting, we believe every human deserves to have a family that gets along. Randi’s Web/Social Links Website: https://mastermindparenting.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/mastermindparenting Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mastermind_parenting/ Resources Discussed/Links Join our next 12-week VIP Parenting Program: https://mastermindparenting.com/basics-bootcamp Book your live assessment: https://mastermindparenting.com/live-assessment/ Join our Free Facebook Group: www.facebook.com/groups/mastermindparenting

Today I am going to give you a little preview of what we do inside of our Mastermind with what I call a live report card session. Now I explain why it's really important to do these report card type assessments. And what I want to tell you is anytime you're trying to change a behavior, whether it’s in your parenting or exercise and food, there's a real reason why most of us fall off the wagon, because behavior changes hard. One thing I've studied over the years, along with parenting, is how do people actually change their behaviors? How do we sustain new patterns and not fall back into the old destructive ones that aren't serving us? And so if you listen to this podcast episode, I want you to sort of identify what we're doing here, because you can apply this skillset to all the areas in your life that you're trying to change some patterns.  As always, thanks for listening, and be sure and head over to Facebook and you can join my free group Mastermind Parenting Community, where we post tips and tools and do pop up Live conversations where I do extra teaching and coaching to support you in helping your strong-willed children so that they can FEEL better and DO better. If you enjoyed this episode and think that others could benefit from listening, please share it! About Randi Rubenstein Randi Rubenstein helps parents with a strong-willed kiddo become a happier family and enjoy the simple things again like bike rides and beach vacays. She’s the founder of Mastermind Parenting, host of the Mastermind Parenting podcast, and author of The Parent Gap. Randi works with parents across the U.S. At Mastermind Parenting, we believe every human deserves to have a family that gets along. Randi’s Web/Social Links Website: https://mastermindparenting.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/mastermindparenting Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mastermind_parenting/ Resources Discussed/Links Book your live assessment: https://mastermindparenting.com/live-assessment/ Join our Free Facebook Group: www.facebook.com/groups/mastermindparenting

Parents, learn how to set limits without spanking, time outs, or sticker charts with this 5-part video training series and 3 days of live coaching. Welcome to Part 5 as we wrap up this amazing series! We review the three big topics: Spanking, Time Outs, and Sticker Charts. None of these are ideal strategies for setting boundaries and you’ll learn why. Listen to this episode and you’ll get some tips on what you can do differently. To sign up for series announcements and coaching updates, and to learn more about the special week of live coaching, go to: https://mastermindparenting.com/settinglimits You may be asking yourself, “What should I do when the kids are acting out, fighting, or won’t take “No” for an answer?” You’ve tried time-outs, punishment, and positive or gentle parenting, but it seems like nothing is working. There is constant fighting, anger, and stress in your home You and your co-parent are not on the same page Your child expresses intense anger and defiance Learn how to take back control in a way that empowers you and your kids. We know you want to be a strong, loving leader who is respected at home. If you’re struggling to show up for yourself and your family in this way then you will benefit from this 5-part video training and 3-day live coaching experience. In the video training, we’ll cover common discipline strategies parents use, why they aren’t effective, and what to do instead. Randi is excited to be your personal parenting coach for a week! We hope you gain some new tips/tools/ways of looking at balance and baby steps for creating more boundaries. To continue moving the needle forward in creating a happier household go to MastermindParenting.com and check out Randi’s 3 beginning programs and find the one that’s a good fit for you. As always, thanks for listening, and be sure and head over to Facebook and you can join my free group Mastermind Parenting Community, where we post tips and tools and do pop up Live conversations where I do extra teaching and coaching to support you in helping your strong-willed children so that they can FEEL better and DO better. If you enjoyed this episode and think that others could benefit from listening, please share it! About Randi Rubenstein Randi Rubenstein helps parents with a strong-willed kiddo become a happier family and enjoy the simple things again like bike rides and beach vacays. She’s the founder of Mastermind Parenting, host of the Mastermind Parenting podcast, and author of The Parent Gap. Randi works with parents across the U.S. At Mastermind Parenting, we believe every human deserves to have a family that gets along. Randi’s Web/Social Links Website: https://mastermindparenting.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/mastermindparenting Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mastermind_parenting/ Resources Discussed/Links Learn how to set limits without spanking, time outs, or sticker charts. A free 5-part video training series & 3 days of live coaching, sign up today.: https://mastermindparenting.com/settinglimits Book your live assessment: https://mastermindparenting.com/live-assessment/ Join our Free Facebook Group: www.facebook.com/groups/mastermindparenting

Parents, learn how to set limits without spanking, time outs, or sticker charts with this 5-part video training series and 3 days of live coaching. Welcome to Part 4 of this strategy-packed series! This might be a little controversial, because so many parents and teachers use sticker charts, but I’m going to explain why they aren’t a good strategy. Using sticker charts inhibits intrinsic motivation and inspires entitlement. Listen in today as I show you why sticker charts should be avoided, and give you some tips on what to do instead.  To sign up for series announcements and coaching updates, and to learn more about this special bonus series, go to: https://mastermindparenting.com/settinglimits You may be asking yourself, “What should I do when the kids are acting out, fighting, or won’t take “No” for an answer?” You’ve tried time-outs, punishment, and positive or gentle parenting, but it seems like nothing is working. There is constant fighting, anger, and stress in your home You and your co-parent are not on the same page Your child expresses intense anger and defiance Learn how to take back control in a way that empowers you and your kids. We know you want to be a strong, loving leader who is respected at home. If you’re struggling to show up for yourself and your family in this way then you will benefit from this 5-part video training and 3-day live coaching experience. In the video training, we’ll cover common discipline strategies parents use, why they aren’t effective, and what to do instead. Randi is excited to be your personal parenting coach for a week! We hope you gain some new tips/tools/ways of looking at balance and baby steps for creating more boundaries. To continue moving the needle forward in creating a happier household go to MastermindParenting.com and check out Randi’s 3 beginning programs and find the one that’s a good fit for you. As always, thanks for listening, and be sure and head over to Facebook and you can join my free group Mastermind Parenting Community, where we post tips and tools and do pop up Live conversations where I do extra teaching and coaching to support you in helping your strong-willed children so that they can FEEL better and DO better. If you enjoyed this episode and think that others could benefit from listening, please share it! About Randi Rubenstein Randi Rubenstein helps parents with a strong-willed kiddo become a happier family and enjoy the simple things again like bike rides and beach vacays. She’s the founder of Mastermind Parenting, host of the Mastermind Parenting podcast, and author of The Parent Gap. Randi works with parents across the U.S. At Mastermind Parenting, we believe every human deserves to have a family that gets along. Randi’s Web/Social Links Website: https://mastermindparenting.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/mastermindparenting Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mastermind_parenting/ Resources Discussed/Links Learn how to set limits without spanking, time outs, or sticker charts. A free 5-part video training series & 3 days of live coaching, sign up today.: https://mastermindparenting.com/settinglimits Book your live assessment: https://mastermindparenting.com/live-assessment/ Join our Free Facebook Group: www.facebook.com/groups/mastermindparenting

Parents, learn how to set limits without spanking, time outs, or sticker charts with this 5-part video training series and 3 days of live coaching. Welcome to Part 3 of this series packed full of great tips! Today we are covering Time Outs. While not as violent and traumatizing as spanking, time outs are still not a desirable approach to setting boundaries with your kids. They can increase lying and rebellion among other things. Listen in as I unpack why you should avoid time outs.  To sign up for series announcements and coaching updates, and to learn more about this special bonus series, go to: https://mastermindparenting.com/settinglimits You may be asking yourself, “What should I do when the kids are acting out, fighting, or won’t take “No” for an answer?” You’ve tried time-outs, punishment, and positive or gentle parenting, but it seems like nothing is working. There is constant fighting, anger, and stress in your home You and your co-parent are not on the same page Your child expresses intense anger and defiance Learn how to take back control in a way that empowers you and your kids. We know you want to be a strong, loving leader who is respected at home. If you’re struggling to show up for yourself and your family in this way then you will benefit from this 5-part video training and 3-day live coaching experience. In the video training, we’ll cover common discipline strategies parents use, why they aren’t effective, and what to do instead. Randi is excited to be your personal parenting coach for a week! We hope you gain some new tips/tools/ways of looking at balance and baby steps for creating more boundaries. To continue moving the needle forward in creating a happier household go to MastermindParenting.com and check out Randi’s 3 beginning programs and find the one that’s a good fit for you. As always, thanks for listening, and be sure and head over to Facebook and you can join my free group Mastermind Parenting Community, where we post tips and tools and do pop up Live conversations where I do extra teaching and coaching to support you in helping your strong-willed children so that they can FEEL better and DO better. If you enjoyed this episode and think that others could benefit from listening, please share it! About Randi Rubenstein Randi Rubenstein helps parents with a strong-willed kiddo become a happier family and enjoy the simple things again like bike rides and beach vacays. She’s the founder of Mastermind Parenting, host of the Mastermind Parenting podcast, and author of The Parent Gap. Randi works with parents across the U.S. At Mastermind Parenting, we believe every human deserves to have a family that gets along. Randi’s Web/Social Links Website: https://mastermindparenting.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/mastermindparenting Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mastermind_parenting/ Resources Discussed/Links Learn how to set limits without spanking, time outs, or sticker charts. A free 5-part video training series & 3 days of live coaching, sign up today.: https://mastermindparenting.com/settinglimits Book your live assessment: https://mastermindparenting.com/live-assessment/ Join our Free Facebook Group: www.facebook.com/groups/mastermindparenting

Parents, learn how to set limits without spanking, time outs, or sticker charts with this 5-part video training series and 3 days of live coaching. Welcome to Part 2 of this powerful series! Today we are covering a huge “NO,” spanking. Listen in to learn why spanking should never be used as a discipline solution, and strategies you can use instead. To sign up for series announcements and coaching updates, and to learn more about this special bonus series, go to:https://mastermindparenting.com/settinglimits You may be asking yourself, “What should I do when the kids are acting out, fighting, or won’t take “No” for an answer?” You’ve tried time-outs, punishment, and positive or gentle parenting, but it seems like nothing is working. There is constant fighting, anger, and stress in your home You and your co-parent are not on the same page Your child expresses intense anger and defiance Learn how to take back control in a way that empowers you and your kids. We know you want to be a strong, loving leader who is respected at home. If you’re struggling to show up for yourself and your family in this way then you will benefit from this 5-part video training and 3-day live coaching experience. In the video training, we’ll cover common discipline strategies parents use, why they aren’t effective, and what to do instead. Randi is excited to be your personal parenting coach for a week! We hope you gain some new tips/tools/ways of looking at balance and baby steps for creating more boundaries. To continue moving the needle forward in creating a happier household go to MastermindParenting.com and check out Randi’s 3 beginning programs and find the one that’s a good fit for you. As always, thanks for listening, and be sure and head over to Facebook and you can join my free group Mastermind Parenting Community, where we post tips and tools and do pop up Live conversations where I do extra teaching and coaching to support you in helping your strong-willed children so that they can FEEL better and DO better. If you enjoyed this episode and think that others could benefit from listening, please share it! About Randi Rubenstein Randi Rubenstein helps parents with a strong-willed kiddo become a happier family and enjoy the simple things again like bike rides and beach vacays. She’s the founder of Mastermind Parenting, host of the Mastermind Parenting podcast, and author of The Parent Gap. Randi works with parents across the U.S. At Mastermind Parenting, we believe every human deserves to have a family that gets along. Randi’s Web/Social Links Website: https://mastermindparenting.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/mastermindparenting Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mastermind_parenting/ Resources Discussed/Links Learn how to set limits without spanking, time outs, or sticker charts. A free 5-part video training series & 3 days of live coaching, sign up today.: https://mastermindparenting.com/settinglimits Book your live assessment: https://mastermindparenting.com/live-assessment/ Join our Free Facebook Group: www.facebook.com/groups/mastermindparenting

Parents, learn how to set limits without spanking, time outs, or sticker charts with this 5-part video training series and 3 days of live coaching. Welcome to Part 1 of this powerful series! To sign up for series announcements and coaching updates, and to learn more about this special bonus series, go to:https://mastermindparenting.com/settinglimits You may be asking yourself, “What should I do when the kids are acting out, fighting, or won’t take “No” for an answer?” You’ve tried time-outs, punishment, and positive or gentle parenting, but it seems like nothing is working. There is constant fighting, anger, and stress in your home You and your co-parent are not on the same page Your child expresses intense anger and defiance Learn how to take back control in a way that empowers you and your kids. We know you want to be a strong, loving leader who is respected at home. If you’re struggling to show up for yourself and your family in this way then you will benefit from this 5-part video training and 3-day live coaching experience. In the video training, we’ll cover common discipline strategies parents use, why they aren’t effective, and what to do instead. Randi is excited to be your personal parenting coach for a week! We hope you gain some new tips/tools/ways of looking at balance and baby steps for creating more boundaries. To continue moving the needle forward in creating a happier household go to MastermindParenting.com and check out Randi’s 3 beginning programs and find the one that’s a good fit for you. As always, thanks for listening, and be sure and head over to Facebook and you can join my free group Mastermind Parenting Community, where we post tips and tools and do pop up Live conversations where I do extra teaching and coaching to support you in helping your strong-willed children so that they can FEEL better and DO better. If you enjoyed this episode and think that others could benefit from listening, please share it! About Randi Rubenstein Randi Rubenstein helps parents with a strong-willed kiddo become a happier family and enjoy the simple things again like bike rides and beach vacays. She’s the founder of Mastermind Parenting, host of the Mastermind Parenting podcast, and author of The Parent Gap. Randi works with parents across the U.S. At Mastermind Parenting, we believe every human deserves to have a family that gets along. Randi’s Web/Social Links Website: https://mastermindparenting.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/mastermindparenting Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mastermind_parenting/ Resources Discussed/Links Learn how to set limits without spanking, time outs, or sticker charts. A free 5-part video training series & 3 days of live coaching, sign up today.: https://mastermindparenting.com/settinglimits Book your live assessment: https://mastermindparenting.com/live-assessment/ Join our Free Facebook Group: www.facebook.com/groups/mastermindparenting

The last couple of episodes, I've been hitting on some heavy topics. I’ve also been sharing a little bit about my process and that I'm testing some hypotheses right now in preparation for a book I'm writing with my friend Sarah Miller. And I've been picking a lot of moms' brains about just what we're most worried about. One of the biggies that comes up… What do you do if your kid has a diagnosis or a label? Is my child going to be like this forever? Is this just a phase? Is it “normal” for kids to behave this way? I know through my conversations, that this has been part of your world or possibly come across your mind. I know it was part of my parenting experience, and today I’m going to share that story with you. I was noticing something that gave me these thoughts and prompted me to find out more about what was going on. It also led me to a huge insight related to my work, an “a-ha” moment of sorts. Another thing I’ve come to realize through working with Sarah, an insight she’s had through the conversations she’s had with her colleagues. The minute professionals bring up parenting as a possible influence on the behavior, people shut down and 99% of the time you never hear from those people again.  Also, parents often get diagnoses for their kids and it’s common that no one addresses the “now what?” What do I do with this information and what do I do next?  That was my experience too, my revelation of sorts. My son needed professional help, and instead of sitting in the waiting room, I went into the sessions with him. So I could observe, understand how to approach this, and know what to do after we were done with the sessions. To carry it forward to our home, and beyond.  Don’t let a diagnosis get you down. It’s important to get over our own egos and not to worry about other people’s judgment for not knowing all the things. We have to be willing to learn new things. It is the most generous, loving and unselfish thing you can do for your kids. This is the sign of a truly good parent, a parent that puts the needs of their kids before their own insecurities.  It is so hard. So incredibly hard. And I haven’t always done it.  As always, thanks for listening, and be sure and head over to Facebook and you can join my free group Mastermind Parenting Community, where we post tips and tools and do pop up Live conversations where I do extra teaching and coaching to support you in helping your strong-willed children so that they can FEEL better and DO better. If you enjoyed this episode and think that others could benefit from listening, please share it! About Randi Rubenstein Randi Rubenstein helps parents with a strong-willed kiddo become a happier family and enjoy the simple things again like bike rides and beach vacays. She’s the founder of Mastermind Parenting, host of the Mastermind Parenting podcast, and author of The Parent Gap. Randi works with parents across the U.S. At Mastermind Parenting, we believe every human deserves to have a family that gets along. Randi’s Web/Social Links Website: https://mastermindparenting.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/mastermindparenting Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mastermind_parenting/ Resources Discussed/Links Learn how to set limits without spanking, time outs, or sticker charts. A free 5-part video training series & 3 days of live coaching, sign up today.: https://mastermindparenting.com/settinglimits Book your live assessment: https://mastermindparenting.com/live-assessment/ Join our Free Facebook Group: www.facebook.com/groups/mastermindparenting

I am continuing the conversation from last week, so if you haven't listened to Episode 186, go and check it out. As I mentioned last week, I'm currently doing some research and planning, because I'm writing a book with a pediatrician and fellow Mastermind Mom, Sarah Miller.  We're testing out some different hypotheses. It's going to be a book that is written and sort of conversational between the two of us, looking at the doctor's perspective when we as parents are seeking their advice and their direction when we're worried about our kids. I think parents are asking their doctors things that they don't feel comfortable asking some of the people that are in their life who may have parenting experience. Their family or their close friends, for example. Parenting, I just think it's so obviously personal for so many of us, and is our most important role.  It's hard to feel scrutinized about the thing that you care about the absolute most. So my hypothesis has been that it's so hard to talk about these worries we have, and open up when we're worried about our kids because we just don't want to screw them up. And we're also so worried about other people judging us and we don't want other people to judge our kids. It seems many of us then talk to our doctors about these concerns, that they are a trusted resource who won’t judge us or our children. So, today’s episode is a continuation of these thoughts, along with some stories and examples which I believe many of you may be able to find a connection with, a sense that you’ve felt a similar way. I want this to become more of a mainstream conversation. And if you're feeling like the moms I described in today's episode, I want you to know there is nothing wrong with you, and you're not alone in how you're feeling. And even just identifying that you're feeling that way, makes you a more self-aware person. And since all change starts with awareness, you're exactly where you're supposed to be.  As always, thanks for listening, and be sure and head over to Facebook and you can join my free group Mastermind Parenting Community, where we post tips and tools and do pop up Live conversations where I do extra teaching and coaching to support you in helping your strong-willed children so that they can FEEL better and DO better. If you enjoyed this episode and think that others could benefit from listening, please share it! About Randi Rubenstein Randi Rubenstein helps parents with a strong-willed kiddo become a happier family and enjoy the simple things again like bike rides and beach vacays. She’s the founder of Mastermind Parenting, host of the Mastermind Parenting podcast, and author of The Parent Gap. Randi works with parents across the U.S. At Mastermind Parenting, we believe every human deserves to have a family that gets along. Randi’s Web/Social Links Website: https://mastermindparenting.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/mastermindparenting Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mastermind_parenting/   Resources Discussed/Links   Learn how to set limits without spanking, time outs, or sticker charts. A 5-part video training series & 3 days of live coaching, sign up today.: https://mastermindparenting.com/settinglimits Book your live assessment: https://mastermindparenting.com/live-assessment/ Join our Free Facebook Group: www.facebook.com/groups/mastermindparenting

I'm doing a bunch of research right now because I have just started writing my second book! And this one's going to be a collaboration with my friend and fellow Mastermind Mom, Sarah Miller. She is a doctor who is a pediatrician about half the time, and half the time internal medicine. We're having a lot of fun, and we're just in the outlining, planning it out phase right now. And we're testing a hypothesis. So, the hypothesis is basically that when you have a child who, from a very young age, is a challenging kid. One where your gut instincts tell you, “Hmm. I think there's something to figure out with this kiddo.” You know, let's say you're going to that baby class that all your friends signed up for and you've got the one child, I'm sure it's probably half the class, but in your mind, it's the one child who just is crying the whole time. And all the other babies are like clapping and doing all the baby things. And you've got the kid and you're sitting there working your ass off to try and have your little tiny baby enjoy this music class. And by the time that baby's two, you're starting to go to the birthday parties and all the other kids seem to be participating, but you've got the child who's like clinging to your leg and they don't want to play. All the other parents are talking and sharing a beverage and you're having to deal with your kid who is refusing to leave your side. And then it's time to start preschool and the teachers are telling you, “Oh, it's just separation anxiety.” So, there's just like there's scenario after scenario, after scenario where you're thinking there's something going on with your kid, but you don't even know where to start. And our hypothesis is that most people reach out or start asking questions during their doctor's visits with the pediatrician. Your pediatrician is a child development authority in your life. And someone you have that relationship where you feel like you can ask your “mom questions” and there's not going to be any judgment. Do you think? And so listen to this episode and if you want, let me know if this is you. If you reach out to your doctor, your pediatrician, to find out about all the typical milestones and they're the ones that you go to every time your kid has a birthday or when in their first year of life, every month. Because they're looking at all the markers, and they're the ones who are kind of following your kid’s developmental progress. As always, thanks for listening, and be sure and head over to Facebook and you can join my free group Mastermind Parenting Community, where we post tips and tools and do pop up Live conversations where I do extra teaching and coaching to support you in helping your strong-willed children so that they can FEEL better and DO better. If you enjoyed this episode and think that others could benefit from listening, please share it! About Randi Rubenstein Randi Rubenstein helps parents with a strong-willed kiddo become a happier family and enjoy the simple things again like bike rides and beach vacays. She’s the founder of Mastermind Parenting, host of the Mastermind Parenting podcast, and author of The Parent Gap. Randi works with parents across the U.S. At Mastermind Parenting, we believe every human deserves to have a family that gets along. Randi’s Web/Social Links Website: https://mastermindparenting.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/mastermindparenting Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mastermind_parenting/ Resources Discussed/Links Weekly Parenting Support in Your Inbox, sign up today.: https://mastermindparenting.com/ Book your live assessment: https://mastermindparenting.com/live-assessment/ Join our Free Facebook Group: www.facebook.com/groups/mastermindparenting

Do you want your kids to be successful in school? I know most of us want our kids to grow up to be the kind of people that have the skills to manage their time and frankly, their lives AND unfortunately, because many of us struggle with these skills ourselves, we can feel overwhelmed by this topic. I sat down with a true expert academic coach with a background in organizational psychology. Evan Weinberger is the owner of Staying Ahead of the Game, an worldwide academic coaching and tutoring company he founded in 2006. You don’t want to miss learning from Evan; he is such a sharp and insightful leader in the space of helping kids develop critical executive skills to help them kick ass in school and life. Enjoy! As always, thanks for listening, and be sure and head over to Facebook and you can join my free group Mastermind Parenting Community, where we post tips and tools and do pop up Live conversations where I do extra teaching and coaching to support you in helping your strong-willed children so that they can FEEL better and DO better. If you enjoyed this episode and think that others could benefit from listening, please share it! About Randi Rubenstein Randi Rubenstein helps parents with a strong-willed kiddo become a happier family and enjoy the simple things again like bike rides and beach vacays. She’s the founder of Mastermind Parenting, host of the Mastermind Parenting podcast, and author of The Parent Gap. Randi works with parents across the U.S. At Mastermind Parenting, we believe every human deserves to have a family that gets along. Randi’s Web/Social Links Website: https://mastermindparenting.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/mastermindparenting Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mastermind_parenting/ About Evan Weinberger Hi! I am Evan! When I started Staying Ahead of the Game in 2006 after nearly two decades of struggling with my own learning differences in school, my main goal was to help students perform to their potential by equipping them with the systems, habits, tools, and skills they need to manage stress and achieve greater success. From the Houston location, I co-founded Illuminos in 2016 to bring these important services to the Greater Washington D.C. Metro Area. I look forward to bringing these much-needed services to more locations soon.  As my impact grows through the success of my companies, I am reminded of why I got into this business in the first place: to give students the wisdom that I wish I had at a younger age. I wanted to help students instead of CEO’s because I saw a problem that desperately needed a solution: students graduating without the soft skills needed to make a difference in the real world.  In addition to working with students, I very much enjoy my work educating educators. I now serve on multiple boards and committees centered around creating the best possible educational experience for every student, regardless of learning differences or socio-economic status. Evan’s Web/Social Links Website: https://mastermindparenting.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/StayingAheadoftheGame Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/saotg/ LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/staying-ahead-of-the-game Resources Discussed/Links Mini-Masters Self Study Program for Parents of Strong-Willed Children. Because parenting is hard, but it shouldn’t be this hard.: https://mastermindparenting.com/minimasters/ Book your live assessment: https://mastermindparenting.com/live-assessment/ Join our Free Facebook Group: www.facebook.com/groups/mastermindparenting

This week is a big episode for me, and you don’t want to miss every morsel of this conversation with the author, Michaeleen Doucleff. She wrote Hunt, Gather, Parent: What Ancient Cultures Can Teach Us About the Lost Art of Raising Happy, Helpful Little Humans. I make her fascinating book required reading for every parent I work with in my private programs.  This book is not like other parenting books - it reads like a fascinating anthropological study of human behavior. The oldest cultures in the world have mastered the art of raising happy, well-adjusted children. What can we learn from them? In this episode, we break down what we are getting wrong when it comes to parenting in our mainstream culture and bringing back the ancient wisdom of our foremothers in a very practical and relatable way…the good news is that this means more time for yourself and adult activities. Get ready to learn from Michaeleen - she is absolutely delightful! I definitely have a mom crush on her, and you will too.  As always, thanks for listening, and be sure and head over to Facebook and you can join my free group Mastermind Parenting Community, where we post tips and tools and do pop up Live conversations where I do extra teaching and coaching to support you in helping your strong-willed children so that they can FEEL better and DO better. Thanks so much for listening to our podcast! If you enjoyed this episode and think that others could benefit from listening, please share it! About Randi Rubenstein Randi Rubenstein helps parents with a strong-willed kiddo become a happier family and enjoy the simple things again like bike rides and beach vacays. She’s the founder of Mastermind Parenting, host of the Mastermind Parenting podcast, and author of The Parent Gap. Randi works with parents across the U.S. At Mastermind Parenting, we believe every human deserves to have a family that gets along. About Michaleen Doucleff Michaeleen Doucleff, PhD, is a global health correspondent for NPR’s Science Desk and the author of the New York Times bestseller Hunt, Gather, Parent. The book describes a way of raising kind and confident children, which moms and dads all over the world have turned to for millennia. Doucleff has a doctorate in chemistry from the University of Berkeley, California, and a bachelor’s degree in biology from Caltech. For the past decade, Doucleff has reported on disease outbreaks and children’s health for NPR. Before that, Doucleff was an editor at the journal Cell, where she wrote about the science behind pop culture. She lives in San Francisco with her husband, daughter and German Shepherd, Savanna. Web/Social Links Website: https://mastermindparenting.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/mastermindparenting Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mastermind_parenting/ Resources Discussed/Links Hunt, Gather, Parent: What Ancient Cultures Can Teach Us About the Lost Art of Raising Happy, Helpful Little Humans by Michaleen Doucleff: https://amzn.to/39yjEkf Book your live assessment: https://mastermindparenting.com/live-assessment/ Join our Free Facebook Group: www.facebook.com/groups/mastermindparenting

In this episode, I sat down with Josh, a dad that sort of reluctantly became a Mastermind parent. I hear from moms ALL THE TIME that their husband is not willing to learn new parenting tools and may even think it’s unnecessary and foolish.  Well, this might be an episode you INSIST your husband listens to because Josh was also “Mastermind Parenting resistant” not so long ago. He questioned my credibility and “real” qualifications to do what I do, but his badass wife, Ali, wouldn’t take no for an answer…she fought for her family to find more peace and both she and Josh are so glad she did! Listen to this episode for more of my thoughts and strategies on how you can move toward being a Mastermind Parent! And as always, thanks for listening, and be sure and head over to Facebook and you can join my free group Mastermind Parenting Community where we post tips and tools and do pop up Live conversations where I do extra teaching and coaching to support you in helping your strong-willed children so that they can FEEL better and DO better. Thanks so much for listening to our podcast! If you enjoyed this episode and think that others could benefit from listening, please share it! About Randi Rubenstein Randi Rubenstein helps parents with a strong-willed kiddo become a happier family and enjoy the simple things again like bike rides and beach vacays. She’s the founder of Mastermind Parenting, host of the Mastermind Parenting podcast, and author of The Parent Gap. Randi works with parents across the U.S. At Mastermind Parenting, we believe every human deserves to have a family that gets along. Web/Social Links Website: https://mastermindparenting.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/mastermindparenting Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mastermind_parenting/ Resources Discussed/Links Book your live assessment: https://mastermindparenting.com/live-assessment/ Join our Free Facebook Group: www.facebook.com/groups/mastermindparenting

So, what constitutes a difficult child? I think we need to start with that and that's even a hard thing to say, because nobody wants to call their kid difficult. Right? I get it. We have a kid that's struggling. Our household feels anything but peaceful. We have a dream that we want our kids to be at peace. We want a calm environment. We want that household that maybe we didn’t have but desired when we were growing up. We have all these hopes and dreams. And now you have a child who is “difficult” and you need to figure some things out. So, during today’s episode, I break down what I believe constitutes a difficult child. And then I give you some helpful tips, some strategies to help you find a way to find more peace in your household and manage some challenging behaviors your kiddo may be exhibiting. Like I often do, I unpack a real-life situation, one that may be familiar to you and your family. I stumbled upon this Mastermind Parenting method because I was also experiencing the challenges of a difficult child. It was because I couldn't find the exact right resource. I couldn't find the exact right program. I liked this part from one program, but I liked another part from another program, but I actually sort of liked this part from some “old school” methods that didn't seem aligned with the newer styles. And I realized, I was not someone who likes to follow exact recipes, so I threw together what worked for me and my family, and that’s what I’m sharing with you now. So, if you’re struggling with that difficult child, listen to this episode, and I’ll give you my top three tips for finding a way to a better place. Listen to this episode for more of my thoughts and strategies on how you can move toward being a Mastermind Parent! And as always, thanks for listening, and be sure and head over to Facebook and you can join my free group Mastermind Parenting Community where we post tips and tools and do pop up Live conversations where I do extra teaching and coaching to support you in helping your strong-willed children so that they can FEEL better and DO better. Thanks so much for listening to our podcast! If you enjoyed this episode and think that others could benefit from listening, please share it! About Randi Rubenstein Randi Rubenstein helps parents with a strong-willed kiddo become a happier family and enjoy the simple things again like bike rides and beach vacays. She’s the founder of Mastermind Parenting, host of the Mastermind Parenting podcast, and author of The Parent Gap. Randi works with parents across the U.S. At Mastermind Parenting, we believe every human deserves to have a family that gets along. Web/Social Links Website: https://mastermindparenting.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/mastermindparenting Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mastermind_parenting/ Resources Discussed/Links Free 5-Part Video Series for Parents: Setting Limits without Spanking, Time Outs, or Sticker Charts: https://mastermindparenting.com/spanking-series/ Join our Free Facebook Group: www.facebook.com/groups/mastermindparenting

What do you do when you and your partner disagree on parenting styles and strategies? Unfortunately, this is the case with most of my moms. In this episode I unpack a story that is all too common. It’s a story of a volatile household, “To-Do List Sex,” and constant stress. The mom in this story has stuck with the Mastermind Parenting program and learned new methods of parenting. She stayed in her own lane, kept slogging along, and made mistakes along the way. But she’s done her own work, created change in her mind and her life, and took a stand. She refused to sweep the issues under the rug anymore and stuck to her guns. It wasn’t easy. Her husband is a good guy, deep down. So often, so much of the struggle is a giant miscommunication. Over time, little by little, things have gotten better. She has found ways to change patterns and hold her partner accountable. She’s been able to step into her strength and improve all the relationships in her life. Listen to this episode for more of my thoughts and strategies on how you can move toward being a Mastermind Parent! And as always, thanks for listening, and be sure and head over to Facebook and you can join my free group Mastermind Parenting Community where we post tips and tools and do pop up Live conversations where I do extra teaching and coaching to support you in helping your strong-willed children so that they can FEEL better and DO better. Thanks so much for listening to our podcast! If you enjoyed this episode and think that others could benefit from listening, please share it! About Randi Rubenstein Randi Rubenstein helps parents with a strong-willed kiddo become a happier family and enjoy the simple things again like bike rides and beach vacays. She’s the founder of Mastermind Parenting, host of the Mastermind Parenting podcast, and author of The Parent Gap. Randi works with parents across the U.S. At Mastermind Parenting, we believe every human deserves to have a family that gets along. Web/Social Links Website: https://mastermindparenting.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/mastermindparenting Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mastermind_parenting/ Resources Discussed/Links Communication can be tough! Get the cheat sheet and audio training for my 3-Step recipe for having a productive conversation: https://mastermindparenting.com/productive-conversation/ Live assessment: https://mastermindparenting.com/live-assessment/ Join our Free Facebook Group: www.facebook.com/groups/mastermindparenting

My guest this week and I chat about how parents can be empowered as experts on their own children. My guest today is Allana Robinson. She and I connect on so many levels and have a great conversation about some new science around parenting and what we’re learning. Allana is a parenting coach, as well as a registered early childhood educator and developmental specialist. We know now that it’s not just triggers and consequences that shape behavior. In fact, the “old school” ABA (Appiled Behavioral Analysis) model completely ignores the functions of the nervous system. It completely ignores how social triggers and how social interaction influences behavior. It completely ignores trauma. It also completely ignores social and emotional learning. Allana and I unpack her experiences and her training, and how newer models like I talk about here on Mastermind Parenting allow kids to process emotional expression. Children live in their emotional brain. And so of course they're going to often be easily overstimulated and lots of things are going to set them off. And they're trying to make sense of the world through these dysregulated moments. Our job is to help them as grounded grownups, help reel them back in and help them learn the skills to reregulate. They're going to make mistakes. We can't be on top of it all the time, but when they make mistakes, it’s important that we show up and help them to learn those new skills. Children learn to regulate by being regulated. Children learn to be empathetic by being empathized with. We have to model what we want them to do in order for them to learn how to do it because they learn by observation. Listen to this episode for more of my thoughts and strategies on how you can move toward being a Mastermind Parent! And as always, thanks for listening, and be sure and head over to Facebook and you can join my free group Mastermind Parenting Community where we post tips and tools and do pop up Live conversations where I do extra teaching and coaching to support you in helping your strong-willed children so that they can FEEL better and DO better. Thanks so much for listening to our podcast! If you enjoyed this episode and think that others could benefit from listening, please share it! About Randi Rubenstein Randi Rubenstein helps parents with a strong-willed kiddo become a happier family and enjoy the simple things again like bike rides and beach vacays. She’s the founder of Mastermind Parenting, host of the Mastermind Parenting podcast, and author of The Parent Gap. Randi works with parents across the U.S. At Mastermind Parenting, we believe every human deserves to have a family that gets along. Web/Social Links Website: https://mastermindparenting.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/mastermindparenting Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mastermind_parenting/ About Allana Robinson Allana Robinson is a parenting coach and she's the CEO of Uncommon Sense Parenting as well as a registered early childhood educator, developmental specialist, mom of two and military wife. Allana supports parents of toddlers, preschoolers, and kindergartners in understanding why their children are misbehaving and how to fix it without yelling, shaming or timeout. Allana’s mission is to empower parents as the experts on their own children and create an inclusive world full of calm, competent, confident kids. Website: https://www.allanarobinson.com/ Resources Discussed/Links Mini-Masters Self Study Program for Parents of Strong-Willed Children. Because parenting is hard, but it shouldn’t be this hard.: https://mastermindparenting.com/minimasters/ Live assessment: https://mastermindparenting.com/live-assessment/ Join our Free Facebook Group: www.facebook.com/groups/mastermindparenting

In this bonus episode, I’m weighing in on the Oscars drama where Will Smith slapped the shit out of Chris Rock. There are so many opinions and different angles being discussed right now and I doubt you’ve heard one like mine. Have a listen and join the conversation on social media to let us know your thoughts!  Web/Social Links Website: https://mastermindparenting.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/mastermindparenting Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mastermind_parenting/

Chances are, if you're listening to this podcast, you have a hunch that you've got a strong-willed child. In today’s episode I wanted to talk about what really constitutes a child being strong-willed. Firstly, isn't every child strong-willed at some point or another? That's what I always say to the people who come to me, that everybody's got a “strong-willed” child.  The truth of the matter is that Mastermind Parenting is really for all humans. It's just that our strong-willed ones are the ones that bring us here because they're not complying with the old school parenting methods that most of us were raised with. And so, we seek resources, and we listen to podcasts, and we read books, and we're looking for the tools and the tips. But how do you know if your kid is a strong-willed kid or just a regular human kid that shows up with some strong-willed behavior because we all sometimes have strong-willed behavior? Strong-willed kids are very determined to do something even if other people say it should not be done. They are the challenging and difficult ones, the “squeaky wheel” of the family. They hijack the household, and it’s the child you walk on eggshells around. This is the child that when they are happy, you feel like you can finally breathe…ahhhhh. I’ll be totally honest, your strong-willed child is the one you love, but you don’t necessarily like. Listen to this episode, and I’ll share with you a very personal story of how my own strong-willed child impacted our family. I’ll also go through some questions and a scenario from someone else, and maybe you’ll be able to relate to one or both of these stories. And with each, as always, I’ll share tools and tips on how you can recognize the behaviors of strong-willed children, and some Mastermind Parenting strategies that will help you, and your family, breathe easier more often. Listen to this episode for more of my thoughts and strategies on how you can move toward being a Mastermind Parent! And as always, thanks for listening, and be sure and head over to Facebook and you can join my free group Mastermind Parenting Community where we post tips and tools and do pop up Live conversations where I do extra teaching and coaching to support you in helping your strong-willed children so that they can FEEL better and DO better. Thanks so much for listening to our podcast! If you enjoyed this episode and think that others could benefit from listening, please share it! About Randi Rubenstein Randi Rubenstein helps parents with a strong-willed kiddo become a happier family and enjoy the simple things again like bike rides and beach vacays. She’s the founder of Mastermind Parenting, host of the Mastermind Parenting podcast, and author of The Parent Gap. Randi works with parents across the U.S. At Mastermind Parenting, we believe every human deserves to have a family that gets along. Web/Social Links Website: https://mastermindparenting.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/mastermindparenting Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mastermind_parenting/ Resources Discussed/Links Mini-Masters Self Study Program for Parents of Strong-Willed Children. Because parenting is hard, but it shouldn’t be this hard.: https://mastermindparenting.com/minimasters/ Live assessment: https://mastermindparenting.com/live-assessment/ Join our Free Facebook Group: www.facebook.com/groups/mastermindparenting

Many of you are searching for tips on how “not to” parent. This doesn't surprise me because I've talked about this on the podcast before. Asking for the “not to’s” instead of the “how to’s” is part of our human condition. It's much easier and more natural to focus on what not to do rather than what to do.  I've heard this referred to as the human negativity bias and it's something that we've carried over, it's part of our primal wiring. We're always scanning our environment for things that might feel unsafe or dangerous. So, we're always kind of looking for the negative, looking how we can keep ourselves safe and healthy, what we need to avoid and “Not do.”  That's why when our kids are running by a pool and we might say, “Don't run, don't run.” Instead of saying, “Walking feet, walking feet.” It's so much easier and instinctive to say what not to do rather than what to do. Searching for, “What am I not supposed to be doing?” is somewhat of a natural question. Because even though you don't know exactly what to do, you want to make sure that you’re not doing the “terrible” things, something wrong. The way to counteract that human negativity bias is through awareness and a lot of the learnings and positive psychology, which I incorporate into Mastermind Parenting. I'm a bit obsessed with neuroscience and I have been for a very long time. I think it's just so amazing that we can actually create new habits that retrain the way that we communicate, retrain the way that we think, and retrain ourselves. It’s that old adage, “You can't teach an old dog new tricks.” But you can. You just have to practice a whole lot. And when you start to practice little things like focusing on what the behaviors you want, rather than the behaviors you don't want, it doesn't come naturally. It seems so simple, but it doesn't come naturally. So, you have to practice it. In today’s episode, I’m going to use some simple examples and scenarios which will help you begin to practice this shift from the more authoritarian style of parenting which tends to focus on telling our kids what “not to do,” and move toward some more positive approaches found in Mastermind Parenting. It’s about practicing these skills that let you communicate expectations before things go sideways. It’s figuring out what you want, not what you don’t want. Listen to this episode for more of my thoughts and strategies on how you can move toward being a Mastermind Parent! And as always, thanks for listening, and be sure and head over to Facebook and you can join my free group Mastermind Parenting Community where we post tips and tools and do pop up Live conversations where I do extra teaching and coaching to support you in helping your strong-willed children so that they can FEEL better and DO better. Thanks so much for listening to our podcast! If you enjoyed this episode and think that others could benefit from listening, please share it! About Randi Rubenstein Randi Rubenstein helps parents with a strong-willed kiddo become a happier family and enjoy the simple things again like bike rides and beach vacays. She’s the founder of Mastermind Parenting, host of the Mastermind Parenting podcast, and author of The Parent Gap. Randi works with parents across the U.S. At Mastermind Parenting, we believe every human deserves to have a family that gets along. Web/Social Links Website: https://mastermindparenting.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/mastermindparenting Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mastermind_parenting/ Resources Discussed/Links Get a no-pressure, complimentary live assessment for your most challenging parenting problem.: https://mastermindparenting.com/live-assessment/ Live assessment: https://mastermindparenting.com/live-assessment/ Join our Free Facebook Group: www.facebook.com/groups/mastermindparenting