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9 minutes | Nov 9, 2021
Limited Appeal - The most amazing... contest... in the world
Normally, podcasts will edit out the part of a recording where the hosts decide what to do. But we roll a different way from normal podcasts, so you get a short and not terribly interesting behind-the-scenes look at Warren introducing the possibilities. Anyway, we start a new version of the 'Who's that bird?' contest, but in this case Warren will name a bird and describe it, and its circumstances, and the rest of us need to attempt to produce the sound that Warren is describing. Warren will then subjectively (or by consensus) judge whose bird call is closest to the real one. You can play along at home, but since we can't hear you, you can't win. You'll have to judge for yourself whether your call is close to the mark. If you want to send us your call, you can do that, I suppose. Email us (email@example.com). Theme music courtesy of General Patton vs. The X-Ecutioners and Ipecac Recordings.
20 minutes | Aug 18, 2021
Limited Appeal - Boring stuff and centaurs and shit
We accidentally create a new segment to start this episode because we got caught up in whether our DJ was dead or his estate needed to spin the tunes. What is an estate? Do you need to have anything? What if you're dead? Does real estate imply you have an estate? What if the teddybear you get buried with was bequeathed to someone else? What if none of this is interesting to anyone at all? Hmph. On a related note, if someone says your singing voice is very distinctive, is that a compliment? How would you note sarcasm in your written compliment, if you wanted to? Or if you were quoting someone else's sarcastic comment? And wanted to do so sarcastically? How BM£ interesting. Finally, how many chests does a centaur have? We discuss the internal anatomical implications of having an extra chest, and it's as $%^ fascinating as you might expect? If you want to engage with us about any of this for some reason, send us an email (firstname.lastname@example.org). Theme music courtesy of General Patton vs. The X-Ecutioners and Ipecac Recordings.
6 minutes | Mar 4, 2021
Limited Appeal - Trailer - Ballpark Talk
Spotify wants us to have a trailer, so here you go. This is a shortened episode featuring a brand new segment, called "Ballpark Talk", in which the premise is to decide whether two things are in the same ballpark or different ones. Today's inaugural topic: cannibalism versus eating a pet. Enjoy! Theme music courtesy of General Patton vs. The X-Ecutioners and Ipecac Recordings.
10 minutes | Mar 4, 2021
Limited Appeal - A New Ballpark
We have a new segment, called "Ballpark Talk", in which the premise is to decide whether two things are in the same ballpark or different ones. Today's inaugural topic: cannibalism versus eating a pet. As usual, we explore many of the philosophical nuances here. What if it's a pet you know, versus a person you don't? What if the person died accidentally and humourously in a food preparation context? What if it's a person who is a pet? Does the relative deliciousness matter? We do not want to hear from anyone who has actually considered eating a person. Anyone else, though, can email us (email@example.com). Theme music courtesy of General Patton vs. The X-Ecutioners and Ipecac Recordings.
13 minutes | Jan 30, 2021
Limited Appeal - Charlie Farkas
This podcast was a rare occasion when most of us were in the same room. This means that the audio is generally exquisite since we are using T-Bone's studio, but also somewhat annoying because Warren insists on giving listeners cues of our eating and drinking. Do judges have their own gavels, or is one provided in the courtroom? What if someone breaks the gavel, is there a spare? John is on hand to answer, even though he insists he hasn't spent much time in a courtroom. You be the judge of what he knows about judges. Get it? If you are a judge, or a gavel equipment manager, and want to set the record straight, send us an email (firstname.lastname@example.org). Theme music courtesy of General Patton vs. The X-Ecutioners and Ipecac Recordings.
16 minutes | Dec 22, 2020
Limited Appeal - Shtoop the help, it's Christmas
An oft-discussed but not previously resolved question: is Die Hard a Christmas movie? We settle the matter, I guess, provided you don't care very much about the matter in the first place. Turns out the whole question turns on the secret, possibly offscreen shenanigans between Bruce and the security guard. If you can read between the scenes to imagine some help-shtooping, then you have yourself a holiday classic. Take that, Julie Andrews! Our handy rule turns out to illuminate the question for many other Christmas movie candidates, although the degree to which off-screen activity is implied is sometimes controversial. Screenwriters of the future, take note: make sure that you explicitly clarify the off or on screen antics involving the help if you want to be included in the holiday rotation. If you need help with how to write about expressly boning, email us (email@example.com). Theme music courtesy of General Patton vs. The X-Ecutioners and Ipecac Recordings.
12 minutes | May 2, 2020
Limited Appeal - That is so Takis
Welcome back! Have you washed your hands? Either way, keep your soggy end out of the dip. Warren asks whether Timmy was right in suggesting that George from Seinfeld put his whole mouth in the tip. Remember the before-time, when this might have been a question? It's hard to imagine now, but at one stage it was somewhat defensible to dip near someone else, and maybe even do so twice, depending on rotation and the number of chip protuberances. If you know can clarify the benefits of tube-shaped chips, or know which of our episodes contains a discussion of aphid honeydew, send us an email (firstname.lastname@example.org). Theme music courtesy of General Patton vs. The X-Ecutioners and Ipecac Recordings.
17 minutes | Mar 31, 2020
Limited Appeal - My Corona
The coronavirus lockdown worldwide has everyone adjusting to a new reality, including us. There are a lot of pressing issues, and we're not qualified to talk about any of those, so we thought we would solve some less-pressing problems. We start somewhat mysteriously with T-Bone mentioning how he recently entertained some higher-ups for a super-secret contract (details have been censored to protect T-Bones client from the defamation that would otherwise arise). Warren suggested he should have taken them to The Granary, a fairly niche restaurant from our hometown that can no longer have a salad wagon for virus reasons. If you have suggestions for finding private chew-stick time under lockdown, send us an email (email@example.com). Thanks to Ipecac Recordings.
12 minutes | Aug 19, 2019
Limited Appeal - That Nice Warm Feeling Around the Bum
For this episode, we revisit Inventions and Shit, our segment in which we present ideas of new inventions for free (mostly) in case any venture capitalists are listening. Warren's latest idea is a toilet water warmer, which, you may have guessed, warms the water in your toilet. There are several major benefits (or perhaps problems) depending on your anatomy, digestive physiology, and temperature preference. And maybe the country of origin of your dog. If you are a robot (preferably not a racist or masturbating one) and wish to license our idea (please don't) you can contact us by email (firstname.lastname@example.org). Theme music courtesy of General Patton vs. The X-Ecutioners and Ipecac Recordings.
14 minutes | Feb 8, 2019
Limited Appeal - Two finger food
I was going to write about Warren's introduction of a topic, and I guess I have. SPOILER ALERT: Warren mentions more than one thing not particularly central to the latest Predator movie that had (until our discussion) seemed unbelievable, but we resolve that for him. Then, for our segment "How About That?", Warren bring up the Pepto Bismol and Nyquil donut range for the Voodoo Donut shop in Oregon, not to mention the Cock and Balls donut. Somehow their range is not as variable as it could be, especially if they had listened to some earlier suggestions from Limited Appeal. I was going to look up the exact episodes and refer to them, but I guess I have not. If you have any questions besides which episodes those are, email us (email@example.com). Theme music courtesy of General Patton vs. The X-Ecutioners and Ipecac Recordings.
19 minutes | Jun 29, 2018
Limited Appeal - Neck bag
This episode starts with a Nature Walk, featuring Who's That Bird, non-bird edition, possibly round 4. T-Bone's dog previous success has him well ahead, maybe. Warren plays the sound of a nonbird, and each of us has to guess what the nonbird looks like, what it's trying to communicate, and provide the collective term for it. We each take a guess, which is as non-illuminating as usual. However, the correct answer sets off a real flood of interest in the water economy of the animals in question. Trust me, this is weirder and more interesting than it sounds, provided it doesn't sound very interesting to you. If you have any experience with unconventional sources of water, send us an email to tell us about it (firstname.lastname@example.org). Theme music courtesy of General Patton vs. The X-Ecutioners and Ipecac Recordings.
18 minutes | May 15, 2018
Limited Appeal - Party nonoffice
This episode, Warren describes a situation in his work bathrooms that has been troubling him: one day the overseers at Warren's office replaced the paper towels with air dryers. However, some people must have complained, because at some point someone added a box containing so-called "door tissues". This way, people who had previously used paper towels to open the door had an extra paper towel that they could use to open the door after air drying their hands. Then the problem became what to do with the door tissues, so the management installed a garbage can outside the toilets marked "Door tissues only!" Then someone ripped down the door tissue box, so there was still a garbage can but no door tissues. We discuss the complex series of pointless events for far longer than you might imagine. I was really annoyed by this story when Warren told it and writing it down again has infuriated me again. Believe it or not, the first half, infuriating as it is, is outmatched by the conversation on homophones that follows. Arrrghhh!!! If you justifiably want to complain about how painful this episode was, contact us by email (email@example.com). Theme music courtesy of General Patton vs. The X-Ecutioners and Ipecac Recordings.
24 minutes | Feb 9, 2018
Limited Appeal - Bzzz... ow!
This episode involves a Nature Walk contest, "Who's That Non-Bird: Killer Edition". (We'll save the killer birds for another day.) The contest question is this: which non-birds are responsible for the most human deaths in the world per year? Warren asks the rest of us to guess the top 11. Here's a little foreshadowing: Warren will cite some stats for non-animal causes of death for contrast, and John will contest them furiously. This contest is only one episode, but it's still surprisingly long, or at least it feels that way... If you want to correct any of Warren's statistics, send us an email (firstname.lastname@example.org). Theme music courtesy of General Patton vs. The X-Ecutioners and Ipecac Recordings.
17 minutes | Dec 12, 2017
Limited Appeal - Check out Ted's Obliquessss
Merry Tedmas everyone! In the spirit of the holidays, and just in case you have a collector in your Secret Santa exchange pool, in this episode we try to Name 5 Things that are Bad Ideas for collectible products. For example, Warren explains that cereal producers had tried to make cereal boxes collectible, which is a real thing (https://www.eater.com/2016/2/16/11008926/cereal-box-collections-history). Oh Ted help us. Anyway, Warren asks us to name five other things that would be a bad idea to make collectible. I have a suspicion that some of these things already exist, and that I shouldn't have flushed them if I wanted to make money on some mint condition toilet paper. Opportunity squandered! Let us know what you have failed to collect by email (email@example.com). Theme music courtesy of General Patton vs. The X-Ecutioners and Ipecac Recordings.
12 minutes | Oct 12, 2017
Limited Appeal - The New York GrapeNuts
This week we open the show uncertain about Carol Burnett's status. Turns out: still funny! Then we try to name five possible sport team names that are strange, yet somehow intimidating. Warren's suggested example is "The Long Starers". We come up with many suggestions, but most of them are perhaps more off-putting than intimidating. Anyway, our discussion naturally leads us to discussing how cereal prevents masturbation. You'll want to stay away from all those sexy, sexy foods, like vinegar, and pickles. PICKLES! So hot�. If you've not yet succumbed to temptation, you can send us an email and describe your favourite strategy for resisting self-abuse (firstname.lastname@example.org). Theme music courtesy of General Patton vs. The X-Ecutioners and Ipecac Recordings.
20 minutes | Jul 6, 2017
Limited Appeal - Unprovocate
This episode aims not to provoke. Consider yourself warned! We begin with a "How about that?" segment, in which Warren notes that both words tit and boob are palindromes. How about that? We discuss maintaining palindromiety for plurals of palindromes, but it's a bit controversial, and maybe even dangerously close to provocative. To avoid crossing a line, we try to name 5 things that you can stuff into other things to invent a new food item. For a simple example, Warren suggests putting a carrot into a cucumber, to make a (maybe) cucott. Some of the other suggestions are more involved, but perhaps no more provocative (although T-Bone does lose it at one point). If you find the content provokes any kind of response, eat some piroshka to cool off. Then if you're still feeling hot, send us an email (email@example.com). Theme music courtesy of General Patton vs. The X-Ecutioners and Ipecac Recordings.
16 minutes | Feb 1, 2017
Limited Appeal - The peanut butter loophole
Recently the Supreme Court of Canada clarified what constitutes bestiality, and apparently it must involve penetration. But this raises a host of new questions, including the issue of the peanut butter loophole. Are you for or against it? On this week's Nature Walk, we resume our Who's That Bird non-bird edition contest with round 3. Feel free to play along, by trying to guess what the nonbird looks like, what it is trying to communicate, and what a group of the nonbird is called. Fair warning though for the competitive listeners in our audience: our guesses are really close this week, so you might not have much of a shot. If you want to complain about this, send us an email (firstname.lastname@example.org). Theme music courtesy of General Patton vs. The X-Ecutioners and Ipecac Recordings.
14 minutes | Dec 13, 2016
Limited Appeal - Shitting snowflakes
T-Bone brings up a recent episode on Vice featuring FMT: fecal matter transplants. Yup, it's that kind of episode. But before you flee in terror, this is a legitimate topic, honest. Turns out that for a subset of people, FMT is a real life-changer. And some animals (horses, rabbits, and assassin bugs) have their own version of FMT, but it usually involves eating instead of enemas. Is your neighbor giving you top-quality material? Whatever your situation, we hope you celebrate your microbiome these holidays, and that the new year brings you hardly any dry mornings, whatever the condition of your gut flora. To complain about this episode, email us (email@example.com)! Theme music courtesy of General Patton vs. The X-Ecutioners and Ipecac Recordings.
14 minutes | Nov 2, 2016
Limited Appeal - Bollygolia
Have you had enough of the Mongolians? I bet you haven't, and we're here to help. We start this week's episode with some technical insight into sound production for Bollywood films. It turns out that Bollywood is doing some things regarding audio recording inefficiently, and losing ambience and texture in sounds as it does it. (We briefly get sidetracked by ewoks and cricket, but soon return to the core topic thanks to an audio intervention that we're too lazy and cheap to overdub.) Anyway, in an effort to help out the entire film industry in India, we come up with a winning solution: do some recording in Mongolia, assuming you can get some good directions. If you work in Bollywood and want to thank us for this suggestion, send us an email (firstname.lastname@example.org). Thanks to the X-Ecutioners and Ipecac Recordings.
16 minutes | Sep 16, 2016
Limited Appeal - Chewy Keyboard
We begin this week by discussing the many sporting achievements of famous Mongolians. By many, we mean really 3, which is not to insult Mongolia but rather to reflect our quickly performed poor research on a Wikipedia page, which, incidentally, actually only named 2/3 of the athletes we discuss. Then most of the episode is devoted to another edition of Foody Goody, in which we continue our ongoing (and of indeterminate length) contest, "What am I eating and drinking and toasting?" This week John plays the moderator, and fulfills his role with the expected amount of surliness (provided I know what the word surliness means, which I'm not sure of as I write this description). If you're a craft spirit entrepreneur, we have a million-dollar idea for you! Contact us by email (email@example.com) if you decide to brew a batch, and we'll gladly do some free promo on our show! Theme music courtesy of General Patton vs. The X-Ecutioners and Ipecac Recordings.
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