- 15: Examining The Enneagram with Marla DeLong
Marla starts the episode by sharing a little about herself before jumping straight into this week's theme, the Enneagram. Marla shares that she has been studying the Enneagram for ten years, and explains that it has helped her as a therapist and as a wife. However, Marla is quick to say that you are not your Enneagram number; instead, who you are is who you are in Christ.
Lauren joins the conversation by disclosing that she and her family have read The Road Back To You as a way to help understand each other better. Marla then shares a little more about what the Enneagram actually is and how to use it to help you understand your motivations versus your behaviors.
Lauren then reveals that she is a two on the Enneagram list, Rick reveals he is a three wing four, and Marla states that she is a two wing three. Marla then takes time to explain the descriptions of each number. Lauren voices that knowing the different Enneagram number descriptions has helped her better understand people in her life, particularly her husband.
Throughout their discussion of the Enneagram, Marla keeps pointing back to the reality that while the Enneagram (and other personality tests) can help you learn and understand yourself and others better, it's important to remember that these tests are fluid and while you might be one particular number, you could have a little bit of another number in you, or you might see elements of a different number pop up in you based on certain factors like stress.
Lauren and Marla then discuss how it's easy to want to identify someone's number for them, or place someone in a box based on their Enneagram number, but it's important to remember that the Enneagram is for you to figure out your own number and how you can relate to others based on your number, Marla states, not for you to analyze or judge someone based on what number you think they are.
Marla goes on to helpfully explain what a wing is in the Enneagram world before mentioning Ginger Lapid-Bogda and her work with the Enneagram in the business world.
Rick brings up again how helpful the Enneagram can be in a marriage, and uses his own marriage as an example. He also expresses how understanding how you relate to numbers different than yours is a great place to show grace.
Marla wraps up the episode by mentioning a few different books to read if you're interested in digging deeper with the Enneagram, including The Sacred Enneagram, The 9 Types Of Leadership, and The Path Between Us, as well as a podcast by Beatrice Chestnut.
For more information on this podcast, visit podcast.fellowshipknox.org
About Marla DeLong:
Marla specializes in spiritual, relational, and individual healing and transformation at Restoration Counseling. She and her husband Keith have three children. Find out more about Marla here or check out her Facebook page.