stitcherLogoCreated with Sketch.
Get Premium Download App
Listen
Discover
Premium
Shows
Likes

Listen Now

Discover Premium Shows Likes

Let's Talk Wellness Now

98 Episodes

43 minutes | 3 days ago
Episode 98: Design a Guilt Free Life with Denise Antoon
Dr. Deb and Denise Antoon share what a wellness traveler is and how you can do this to. Learn who is affected by human trafficking and how you can keep your kids safe. If you haven’t already learned to say no! Denise will share her tips are designing your life so you can do the things you love and give up without guilt the things you don’t. Do not miss these: [3:22] How a heart attack scare changed the way Denise was living her life [6:48] Obsessing over changes led to no changes [7:48] Prioritizing family commitments over work [10:58] How delegating tasks can not only you happier but also with those around you [13:09] The ins and outs of wellness travelling and digital detox [18:00] The impact of COVID-19 19 on travelling [23:57] Doing philanthropy work and volunteer in lieu of travelling [25:54] Going undercover online to assist with to put a stop to human trafficking [31:58] Resources to learn how to protect your children while online [33:56] Simplifying your tasks to create more accomplishments in your day About our Guest: Denise Antoon J.D., M.S, C.T.A, G.W.A is the Chief Experience Officer and Founder of The Human Experience Group. Their mission is to help others create a resume of extraordinary life experiences and coach people to their full potential. Ms. Antoon has over 25 years of remote work and education experience. A life-long learner she has earned multiple certifications and degrees while travelling the world. She is an adjunct professor at both the undergraduate and graduate levels for several non and for-profit institutions. Denise provides businesses with company wellness programs. Her training not only increase the company’s bottom line, but also increases the happiness of the employees. Her work with high profile and celebrity clients helps create total life wellness and solutions for their busy lives. Ms. Antoon has appeared on The Today Show, Dr. Phil, Fox and Friends, People Magazine, several local/national/international news, radio and podcast programs. She is a trained wellness expert who integrates philanthropy as a social entrepreneur into client’s lives. Denise works in the fight against Human Trafficking personally and professionally. She is a single mom of three boys that she now facilitates in their remote learning due to COVID-19. www.humanexperiencegroup.com Transcription for Episode #98 with Denise Antoon Dr. Debra Muth 0:00 Happy New Year, everyone. Welcome to the new year 2021. This is going to be a fantastic year for all of us. I’m Dr. Deb, I’m your host of Let’s Talk Wellness Now. And today, we’re going to have a little different topic than what you’re used to hearing with us. But I have an incredible guest that you really need to hear what she has to say about our topic. So I’d like to introduce you to Denise Antoon. She is an adjunct professor with a law degree, trained wellness expert who integrates philanthropy, and social entrepreneur into clients lives. We’re going to be talking today about human trafficking, wellness, and being a working mom. So our show today is going to focus on how Denise turned from a career as a celebrity into wellness. And then we’re also going to talk about the global issues that are happening today with human trafficking, and how this impacts all of us. So I’d like to introduce you to Denise Antoon, who is the chief experience officer and founder of the Human Experience Group, where their mission is to help others create a resume of extraordinary life experiences, and coach people to their full potential. Miss Antoon has over 25 years of remote work in education experience. She’s a lifelong learner, she has earned multiple certifications and degrees while traveling the world. She is an adjunct professor at both the undergraduate and graduate levels for several non and for profit institutions. Denise provides businesses with company wellness programs, and her training not only increases the company’s bottom line, but it also increases the happiness of those employees. Her work with high profile and celebrity clients helps create total life wellness, and solutions for their busy lives. Dr. Debra Muth 2:07 Welcome to Let’s talk wellness. Now I’m your host, Dr. Deb. This is where we talk about everything wellness, and learn to defy aging, and live our lives on our own terms. Dr. Debra Muth 2:21 Well, Denise, welcome to Let’s talk wellness. Now I’m so happy to have you here as our guest today. Denise Antoon 2:27 Very excited to be here. Thank you for having me. Dr. Debra Muth 2:29 Thank you. So you have a very interesting background. You’re an attorney, you work with celebrities and wellness, you’re doing some flat philanthropy. Tell me how you got started with everything. How was your journey? Denise Antoon 2:48 So I started in law, and you know, as many people do, they do all the right things, and they go to school and get the degree and then get into the rat race of everything. And I was fully in it working my 80/90 hour weeks. And then I had my second child, the first one, I felt like I was balancing well, but the second one, I was like, pulling my hair out. Like I feel like I’m not doing well in any area of my life now. And I had the unfortunate wake up call of one day, I thought I was having a heart attack. And I had to drive my kids in the car feeling like I was having a heart attack to the hospital. And the doctor had said three times with my kids sitting there, if you don’t change the way you’re living your life, you’re going to die. And so I realized at that moment, like, every time I get on my computer, my kids would say you’re gonna die, you’re gonna die. Like they were so worried that they were little at the time. And so I realized I needed to make some changes. And so I started just studying a lot of stuff and personal development and wellness and changing different areas of my life. And that’s kind of how I just wanted to help other people who were stuck in those same places. Dr. Debra Muth 4:03 It’s really crazy, isn’t it because women who are driven and powerful and we run from kind of that masculine side we go, go, go do do do conquer, conquer, conquer, we all seem to get to a place at some point where we look at our lives and just go “This isn’t what I signed up for this is is not what I wanted it to be. I didn’t want it to consume my entire life and all of me”, and that’s where we end up starting to diversify our lives a little bit and change them so that we’re not doing that 80/90 hour work week that is become the typical American lifestyle workweek these days. Denise Antoon 4:42 Right? And it was like a badge of honor for me. Oh, I only get one hour of sleep two at max like like he was a great accomplishment and I was doing other people serve to me like I was crazy like normal. Dr. Debra Muth 4:57 I can so relate because I’ve done the same thing for 25 years and I was thinking about this this morning. I was like, you know, I used to get up in the morning, I’d be to work by seven, I wouldn’t get home till nine, I’d be on my computer till 11 or 12. And then I’d go to bed. And I did that seven days a week while raising three children. And I remember thinking the same thing like, this is a badge of honor for me, like, I am proud, I am strong, I’m able to do this. And then one day, I woke up and I said, What the hell am I doing? Why am I doing this, I have no life, I’m not living it. I’m not spending quality time with my family. And I don’t know who I am anymore. And, and I’m in wellness, I do this for a living, I help people create wellness every day. And I’m telling them to do all the right things. And I’m not taking my own advice. And I had to wake up one day to and just go Okay, wait a minute, let’s redesign. Let’s shift our lives a little bit differently here. So I actually have a life outside of working. It’s crazy. And there’s so many women that Denise Antoon 5:56 You feel like you’re being present because you’re with your like, I would say I’ve never missed a game when my son. But while I was at those games, I was on my phone sending emails, or at times, I would get out to take a phone call. So I wasn’t really at the game. And I didn’t want to do that anymore. Dr. Debra Muth 6:12 Yeah, it is so true. We’re not present in what we’re doing. Because we’re taking every little minute to do what we need to do. And I’ve been in practice 25 years, and I’ve treated over 8,500 women. And I will tell you that 70% of the women I’ve treated are just like us, they’re out burning the candle at both ends and trying to figure this whole thing out. And no longer serving them is their life that they’ve created. And now they’re in the place of 45/50 and trying to say, Okay, wait a minute, I need to redesign my life. You redesigned your life a little bit. How did you do that? Denise Antoon 6:48 Well, I started off obsessing. Actually, you know, as a type A learner, I was like, it must be my diet. And so I read every book and listen to every podcast and everything could change my diet. Well, what ended up happening was then everything else went to the wayside. And so I realized I would like it heavily focused on one area of like, okay, now I’m gonna read every book on sleep, and I’m gonna change that. But then the diet went away. And so I had to just step back and say, Okay, let me just look at what my weeks look like. And I realized how important routine is. And I was very like, like, forever, the seat of my pants kind of flexible and open. That’s how I can do all these things. I realized I needed some semblance of routine. And so I started heavily relying on my calendar. Let’s just plot out the month. And so I tried to be ambitious last year and plot out the whole year. And after COVID, it all flew out the windows. Yep, we’ll just do one months now. So I would look at the month, and I would put in my personal stuff first. And then I put the work around that. Because like this is what’s most important is my kids, my relationships, my friendships and all these things. My extended family like that should go on here first. And then I mean, luckily, I have the privilege of working for myself, so I can do that. But at points, I was actually still in an office job. And so I would just you know, know that this is the hours and when they want me to work extra, I say no, I’m sorry, I have a football game or a basketball game. And that takes priority, I get my work done in my time. So I’m going to go and do these other things. I just made that a priority, the more personal things, and slowly all the other things filled in the exercise and that I started to do with my kids. So then it was an excuse to not exercise I would do with the kids or diet, I would incorporate the kids into cooking so that it made it fun. And we can learn new recipes together and like expand what they were doing. So the other day we did a cooking class, my family, my extended family all over the country. We did a cooking class with a chef in Rome. We can’t travel right now we can’t see each other right now for the holidays. How do we all get together and cook a meal together? And we literally spent five hours on zoom together. All my extended family 27 people cooking a meal and learning how to do it from a chef in Rome, and then we all ate together on zoom. Dr. Debra Muth 9:27 Oh my gosh. That is awesome. That is so exciting to do, you know, and I want to come back to that topic and how you found that person too. But I was like you too and when I got burned out. And of course you know as we do. We’re so proud that we do everything ourselves and we don’t have anybody that helps us, right? And last year, I broke down and hired myself a personal assistant. And I felt so guilty about that for like the first couple of months. And she asked me the same thing about the calendar. They You did like, how do you want your calendar to look? What do you want it to look like? And I’m filling my calendar in and I’m like, Oh my god, there’s no time in this calendar for anything else or anyone else. And so we started spending the year working through my calendar and saying, Okay, can I hire somebody to do this? Or can I find somebody on my team to do this for me, so I don’t have to so it frees up an hour here. So I can go to the gym, or I can take a walk or I can take a lunch and, and just making some of those small changes has made such a huge difference. Now I like I offload everything to her. It’s like, okay, I don’t want to do this, can you do this? Okay, I can’t do this today, can you do that, and I’m offloading stuff like left and right and trying to find ways that I can let other people work for me, since I pay them to work for me anyway. And it’s made such a huge difference in my life. It’s amazing how it’s, it’s changed everything and how I look at it. Denise Antoon 10:58 Well, that’s the thing we’re kind of raised, I think to like, the first time I had someone come clean my house, I can remember, like my family, that is not a good thing. You are not a good wife, mother, like if you have someone else cleaning your house. And I’m like, this is the best thing ever, like clean, clean all the time. And it cost me $75 a month. And I think you don’t understand until you actually do it. You don’t understand like how much it can actually help your life and your family’s life. And everyone around you all your employees are happier, because you’re happier and not stressed out about the exam. It’s just like getting over that hurdle of doing it the first time. Dr. Debra Muth 11:39 And then getting over the hurdle of feeling guilty about it, like you’re guilty that you’re giving something away for someone else to do and you’re asking for help. You know, if you’re raised as you and I probably were this strong, independent woman, you feel guilty asking for help, because you think you should do it all. And I love that this new concept of ideas of women don’t have to do at all and we can prioritize what it is we want to do, and give away to somebody else who loves to do what you don’t love to do. And they can earn a living at it. I mean, it’s awesome. Denise Antoon 12:15 Every year I use that charge of like, where my expertise is what I love what I hate, I was like, Okay, this year we’re offloading least. Denise Antoon 12:25 That is that is perfect. Denise Antoon 12:29 Do you ever get into that mood where you’re running through the network, and you’re like, I don’t even like and then you feel like you don’t like what you’re doing because of one task that you really could have often somebody else? And it’s not that you don’t like what you’re doing is that one task that just keeps getting in the way but has to be done. Yeah. And your business. So, Dr. Debra Muth 12:48 …and routinely, usually. So you do some wellness travel. And I’d love to know how you found somebody in Rome to teach you how to cook here in the US virtually. And then I’d love to know about wellness traveling, what is that? And how does someone make that work? Denise Antoon 13:09 So wellness travel, I started doing retreats and traveling, I wanted to travel more personally. So I started looking into what the travel industry was all about. And and I’m one of those that are continually learning and getting some other certification or some other degree always. And so like I’m going to become a certified wellness travel advisor and advise people on wellness and going into what I thought it was like spas like I don’t get to go to the spa. I don’t get massages enough. That’s what it’s about. And then when I really started to dig into it, it’s about all it can be anything from, a pickleball group, and we are going to go to another country and play pickleball with people in another country, or we want to run through the city of Rome. And so we’re going to do a 5K through the city of Rome, and we incorporate that into our trip. It’s not just spas or like the old school thinking of you know, I’m going to fat camp and I’m going to go lose weight for three weeks and come back. It’s digital detox. That’s a big one that was happening right before the shutdown of travel, that families did not want their kids on technology. So they would travel to places that didn’t have the capability of having technology. I was in Jamaica not ago and there is a resort there that has no internet access at all, none. Like once you get there if there’s not there’s no way of getting on it at all. They’ve shut it down so that you can completely detox from your devices. And so it gives you the ability to just relax and rejuvenate and go hiking or swimming or you know eating food and that was one of the things I found this woman there is a company that when you actually travel to these locations you would actually eat in their home with them and they are a local cook you a meal so you get to be in culture. And because of COVID, they had to change up what they were doing. And so they were offering it on zoom. And I like what a great way for us to gather but I can get people from all over the country together at the same time and, and have a family gathering, while learning to cook something with a woman who actually lives in Rome. And so we got to hear how it was what was happening with COVID and Rome and how their world is changed. And so now I’ve done two classes with this woman. So it’s like she becoming a friend now where you know what I do to go to Rome, then I’ll be able to hang out there in Rome and actually have a meal. Dr. Debra Muth 15:37 That’s awesome. I love that idea. That is great. And you know, I think it’s things like this that we just don’t think are possible. And is that kind of what the wellness traveling is about? It’s like, here’s what we’d like to do. How do we make that happen? Denise Antoon 15:53 It is because like a lot of people before COVID, they just live healthier lifestyles, now, a lot of people try to live a healthier lifestyle. And when they go on vacation, they don’t want to throw it all out the window with bad food and not exercising and you know, being slobby and, and so a lot of hotels are focused on sleep, like some of the hotels have a sleep pillow menus, they have special lighting at night, Special Air they pump in at night, to help people have better sleep when they’re in a hotel. They have Well, there was one hotel, I went in Miami that when you arrived and checked in, they gave you a green juice. And in your room, you had a veggie tray, like upon arrival, and they had different activities. You could do yoga in the morning. They had kids activities that involve exercise, they had relationship activities. So it was all aspects of wellness, not just food and exercise. Dr. Debra Muth 16:49 So if someone is listening to us, and they’re finding this interesting, how does someone find someone like you that’s a certified wellness traveler? Or how do they find venues that will do this kind of thing is it’s simply as easy as going to a Google search? Denise Antoon 17:06 There now there are a lot of hotels that incorporate wellness. So you could do a Google search, or you could find someone like me who does specifically wellness travel. There’s only a handful of us that certified in it, because it was a new thing. And but now wellness is one of the top things that people aren’t thinking about because of COVID. They realize like I need to change my lifestyle. And you know, in the beginning, some people were very, like exercise all the time, eating great. And as this lockdown went on, people were getting depressed, and they were stuck in their homes. And they stopped doing that. And you know, you’re the COVID, 15, and all those kinds of things happening. And now people are kind of like, okay, we start to get back out there. How do we incorporate wellness. And, you know, I heard the other day, the New Year’s resolutions, the biggest, the top three were typically, you know, lose weight is always somebody’s, relationship connections and travel. So they realize the importance of their well being traveling and experiencing other cultures and the way the world is in other places and being open to learning and new things. Dr. Debra Muth 18:21 So I assume there’s going to be some wellness, travel changes, happening, the travel changes in general happening in 2021. You know, we’re talking about the vaccine passport, we’re talking about COVID testing prior to getting on a plane, we’re still talking about mask on a plane, what are you guys hearing in your industry for travel changes coming up in 2021 and beyond? Denise Antoon 18:47 So all of what you said, but then the difference is, is that every country is handling it differently. And that’s going to be the challenge for a lot of people who want to travel that they don’t understand that component of it. And they think, oh, we can travel now. So hey, I’m going to go to France or I’m going to go to the Bahamas or something and not understanding that each country is establishing their own travel restriction. Yeah. And you know, when I just went to Jamaica, we had to go through this whole testing process to the application process and the screening process. And when I got there, some of that stuff, had I not been in the industry, I would have not known and people were it was chaos, people who didn’t know. And so this is where actually using a travel advisor is gonna benefit people because they know and research all of the countries and we get guidelines that the general population doesn’t, on what these different restrictions are. And it changes from day to day. I don’t try to send somebody just to Disney World and change within the week that they were there. So you know, it’s constant flux right now with that. Yeah, it’s not that you can’t travel. I mean, there’s a lot of places you can’t travel to right now. Dr. Debra Muth 20:02 But going forward for certain in the beginning, when they open up travel restrictions, having somebody on your side to help you navigate those rules, especially if you’re going to leave the country is going to be pretty necessary, I’m thinking, unless you want to take that test. Denise Antoon 20:21 Right. And then what you run into is, is also like companies with their cancellation policies. Some of them are very open of like, this is the world we live in, we will give you a complete refund, and others are like, sorry, it’s non refundable, and you’re out of luck. And so really paying attention, if you do do these things yourself, that you’re looking at the fine print, because in the beginning of this, a lot of them were very flexible, we’ll give you credit, we’ll give you a refund. But now that we’re in almost a year into it, they’re not that way anymore, because they need to recoup their writer losses as well. And that’s another thing people think, oh, there’s going to be all kinds of travel deals, because we haven’t been able to travel. And that’s not what we’re finding at all, actually, because they have to recoup what they’ve lost. Right? So it’s not going to be a great deal that you get to find and travel that way. Dr. Debra Muth 21:14 Yeah, it’s kind of like what we’re finding in the stores, right? We thought the holiday shopping was gonna have all these great deals, and we’re not seeing them because there is just too much financial loss around the country that they can’t afford to pass those deals on like they used to. Yeah, I hear the same thing in my practice right now with the lockdown. You know, it’s the COVID 15, there’s a lot of anxiety, there’s a lot of depression, there’s a lot of fear, because the world is just in a place that we’ve most of us in our lives that are alive today have never experienced. And it’s scary for a lot of people, it’s creating a lot of anxiety. How are you guys working with things like that? For people? Like, do you have retreats in places where people can go and just kind of recoup and get themselves back? Denise Antoon 22:03 We do have some places, it’s very limited. So we’re trying to help people find more of that Zen and “ohm”, like their own area. Like we just took a trip to Austin and we took a trip to San Antonio, we only went like an hour away. But we stayed at a very lovely resort. And you know, we use like, Oh yeah, sanity back. And like, even though it really wasn’t traveling far, it was enough to get that feeling back of like, okay, I don’t have all this craziness and chaos in my life, we can take a moment and take a breath and enjoy. And that’s the thing, a lot of people just aren’t leaving their homes. And it’s like, if you just maybe it’s just going to the park Yeah, and getting outside a little bit more is enough to help you. So we’re kind of working with people one on one to kind of, and for people who really do want to travel like they want to go to Italy or France or something where they can’t right now, we’re doing a lot of museum tours online with them and like sending them little care packages of things to get them ready. So when they can do it, that they’ll be excited and that it keeps that momentum going of like I will be going to Italy or I will be going to Spain and and kind of keep them in the energy of that. And have something to look forward to. Dr. Debra Muth 23:22 Yeah, exactly. Because we all need that we need to be able to look forward to normalcy again, not our new normal, but normalcy like we knew it. Or something different, but not this lockdown feared all of this, we have to be able to get back. And I love that, like you mentioned just go away for an hour to just unplug from our day to day world and the craziness in our own household. Because a lot of times, even if you make your household a sanctuary, you still have craziness within it. Because you’re used to that and you have to get away to unwind and get rid of all of that. Denise Antoon 23:57 Exactly. And one of the things I did personally during the holidays, because even though I do all those things that I just said, I still was feeling just like I don’t know, it was like a feeling I couldn’t explain which was causing the stress and like I just don’t know why I’m feeling this way. Like things aren’t that bad for me. Like, why am I feeling this way? I have kids here for the holidays, and they’re homeschooling on with them a lot. And so I started, I’ve always been doing philanthropy work, but I started volunteering more, especially during the holiday period, I found ways that I could one of the organizations that I volunteer with is a organization that helps sex trafficking survivors and so what I ended up doing was delivering gifts to them during the holiday time from this nonprofit then is it can you be a driver and you know what the social distance so I’d ring the bell and step back and if they came, and I you know, Merry Christmas and gave them the package that was on their doorstep and if they weren’t there, then I would hide it in a place and so you guys me to feel like okay, there’s other people out there in need. And it made me feel so much better that I can serve somebody else. And because the people who did come to the door, were just so excited because it was the only thing that they were going to have for the holidays. Yeah. And so I found like, that made me feel better getting out there and volunteering more than I normally would. When I was feeling this way. Dr. Debra Muth 25:23 Yeah, that’s a great, great way to give back and feel like you’re doing something good for others. And when we do that, we feel so much better inside of ourselves as well. Yeah. Will you talk a little bit about what you do for human trafficking? And and maybe explain for some of our listeners who don’t understand what that is? What is human trafficking? And can we talk a little bit about how that impacts us? Denise Antoon 25:54 Sure. So human trafficking, a lot of people think that it is sex trafficking, and it’s just runaway kids. And, you know, it would never happen in their neighborhood. It only happens in other countries. And it’s actually something that happens everywhere. Yeah. And it could be anything from labor trafficking, which could be people working on farms or construction, the nail technicians in restaurants, like you don’t necessarily know that that stuff’s happening behind the scenes do what we typically think of with the sex trafficking. And that could be, we had a case that a girl, she was a straight A student cheerleader, somebody just overheard her having a conversation during a basketball game, and they started grooming her. And she ended up for two weeks was trafficked. And her parents had a lot of money and were able to like flesh out where she was and get her back. But she’s got like a lifetime now of psychological issues and things from that. And with online stuff, there’s a lot of people out there that will talk to kids as a kid. That’s how I kind of got started into it. I was doing undercover work, and I was the person who would chat with the people online, and then we do sting operations, and they would get arrested, they would think I was a 10 year old 12 year old girl. And when I started to see how prevelant it was, I just, I couldn’t imagine that it was in my own neighborhood. And while I started speaking on it to different organizations, and I can’t even tell you how many times I will go and speak in a suburbia area and people will walk out that doesn’t happen here. I don’t need to hear this. Because they don’t want to recognize that it’s the last statistic was all of the major league sporting NBA, NFL, all the all of them combined, the profits that they make is still not what a organization with human trafficking brings in like billions of dollars, this industry. And so it happens everywhere. And the word is getting out more and more. January 11 is human trafficking day actually. And this whole month is human trafficking Awareness Month. And so there’s a lot of places that you can go. Now, in the past there wasn’t but now there is a lot of places people are being prosecuted now for it. And it’s something that’s everywhere. And it affects everyone, because the supply chains of what you’re buying, if it’s not fair trade, there could have been trafficking involved in that. And so looking at where you’re buying now, people are becoming more and more aware of that. And whether it’s the candy that they’re eating, or the clothes that they’re wearing, they’re starting to become more aware, because it’s become more mainstream in the media to hear about it. TV shows are incorporating it and you know, this month, there’s a lot of promotions in various places for it. So people are starting to make better choices on things they’re purchasing. But it’s just one of those things that we can’t deny that it’s happening anymore, because they talk about it so much now, which is a great thing that they’re talking about it now because when I started with this, it’s been least 25 years now. And people didn’t talk about it. They didn’t want to hear about it. They didn’t want to talk about it. It doesn’t happen here. It’s in other countries. And it’s not it’s everywhere. Dr. Debra Muth 29:23 Yeah, totally taboo. I have a client that has worked on human trafficking things here in Wisconsin, too. And I remember when she told me one of our largest areas for human trafficking is Lacrosse, which is a very large college well it’s not large. It’s actually small college town, but it borders Minnesota. And so very easily people can have the border and take someone over to another border or it’s on the waterway so they can hop the river and they can be gone like that. And she was explaining to me how much of that traffic comes in and how our rural areas are really affected by human trafficking, even sometimes more than our more populated cities, just because it’s so easy to move people around, and those people don’t have access to things that are promised a lot of things. And so it becomes a very big thing in some of those more rural areas. And I was blown away. It was the first time I had ever known anything about that. But it makes you look at your areas of your your own cities and your own towns very differently. Denise Antoon 30:28 It definitely does and your own children because they are online. I mean, the predators are everywhere online posing as you know, I’ve had many conversations with my kids where they know it’s another kid and like, no, I can tell you right now, that’s another kid. And they we did a training with some pimps that were trafficking people. And they had said, Look, we will take years to groom someone because it’s worth millions to us to get a kid. And so it’s a slow, slow process. It’s not like we’re snatching someone off the street, like they are willing to take the time to groom those kids. And so a lot of the digital awareness, and that’s where it comes into the digital detox and the wellness component of it of like getting your kids safe on technology, and I put restrictions on my kids, and they figured out how to get around it, you got to stay ahead of the game, you know, whether doing the high apps, that if you look at their phone, you think it’s safe, and they’ve hidden the apps behind the apps. And so the kids are getting sneaky on the way that they’re doing it. And so keeping up to date on some of that stuff is helpful for parents do. Yeah. Dr. Debra Muth 31:40 How does someone find out about those kinds of things? Like if you’re not techno-savvy, and most of our kids know more than we do? How do you learn about some of those things, so you can protect your kids and keep them safe? Do they have training programs or things that they teach parents to look for? Denise Antoon 31:58 They do, there’s one organization called the Underground Railroad. And they do a lot of rescues. And they they are now expanding all across the country. And that’s an organization that has a lot of information, a lot of great online training there. One training just to learn the basics about trafficking is like a 45 minute training doesn’t take very long. Because sometimes, you know you can be we had a woman that was in Whole Foods. And she saw this young woman and she thought something’s not right, because she had gone through the training. And she called 911. Just, you know, caution. And the girl, in fact, was being trafficked. And so the traffickers had her go in and buy some food. And so they were able to like pull her out of Whole Foods, because this lady was just aware of what to look for. So there’s now in pretty much every city, there’s organizations dealing with this in the past, there wasn’t and you only saw things on a national level. But if you google your own city, you probably find some local resources or local ways to get involved. Or you can also Google for the national organizations. But now Luckily, we have a lot of material and and a lot of the kids in our getting involved in creating training for kids. There’s a local organization here that it’s all high school kids, and they they’ve created the training so that they understand it at their level. Because you know, we can create a training for the kids, and I’ve done many of them where they just don’t, I don’t want to listen to you. But when it here gives them the training, then they pay attention. Yeah. Dr. Debra Muth 33:32 Because then it’s more on their level. So Denise, you do a lot of really cool things. This is awesome. But is there a challenge for you? What’s one of your biggest challenges in being the person you are and doing all of the things that you do? Denise Antoon 33:50 That is the biggest show. The challenge that I had in corporate? Where do I put my focus, like I need to be able to do it all and get it all done. And that’s where I have learned to just really look at the calendar and and make sure that the most important things get done. So now what I started to do is, you know, my long to do list every day. I like no, I have three major things like I will have three things for the week for my business and three things for the week for personal and then each day I break it down even smaller Like okay today three things and so by the end of the week, I’m like wow, look at that. I’ve done 21 business days and 21 more accomplished. Three things. Am I to buy a personality? I only accomplish three things this week. That’s not good. Yeah. What am I college 21 Okay, that’s good. And so I’ve had to just break it down into smaller chunks and say it’s okay if today all I did was clean out the closet, you know I was clearing some clutter in my life that I didn’t need. I didn’t need to clean every closet today, right? And so giving myself some grace of like, I did accomplish something. I see, okay, I did accomplish something today. It was not a zero day. And, and things that I enjoy, like podcasts and books on tape and things like that, I started to just listen to it in the shower, I put a speaker in the shower, so that I don’t feel like oh, I don’t have the time to read that book, or I listened to it in the car when before I wouldn’t. And I realized, okay, this is how I can get some extra time to actually get these things that I do enjoy. I was doing a mundane task yesterday, it was just like a stuffing envelope kind of thing. And I listened to four podcasts in that time. So that I felt like okay, I did, accomplished two things that I wanted to do. And I listened to the podcast. Dr. Debra Muth 35:57 Yeah, I do a lot of that same thing, too. I have a long drive back and forth to work. So I listened to podcasts and ebooks and all kinds of audiobooks. Now, not ebooks. But it allows you to get things done so that you don’t feel like you’re just wasting time, or you can’t take the time to do these kinds of things. But it really frees up your time so that you’re not just listening to the same old rhetoric that’s on the radio, or whatever it is that consumes our time. And it helps us to learn and grow and accomplish what we want to accomplish. I, I hold meetings while I’m driving now and the phone, you know, because we have speakers that come through. And that way I can talk and I can use that time, I have a two and a half hour drive. So I have a lot of time, that just feels like it’s a wasted amount of time unless I do some of those things while I’m driving. But it’s a great way to listen to things and learn on my road trips so that I don’t feel like it’s a waste. I love that too. Denise Antoon 36:55 And I chunk tasks together too. Whereas, especially like errands, I used to do Oh, I’m just going to run this one, Aaron and it would take an hour to do the one errand and then like well, now if I did these three, they’re all relatively close together, I do a three in one hour, instead of like, I’ll just do this one today, because I only have that hour. Yeah, so looking at what I actually have to do every week helps me to narrow it down. And some days, you know, I kept saying over the holiday break, I was going to redo the whole kitchen and go through all the cabinets. And every day can get something else got in the way. And you know, my family’s like you’re not doing it. I’m like, Hello, like, that’s the way it goes. Whereas in the past, they’re like very stressed that I failed and like so what so the spices are still in there in a jumbled mess. Yes, okay, I’ll get to I get to, Dr. Debra Muth 37:45 yep, I’m the same way these days, you know, I give myself much more grace. And if someday, it’s a Sunday, and I just be like binge watching Netflix all day, then that’s what I do. And in the past, I would have been, no, I can’t watch Netflix, I gotta check my emails, or I gotta do the balancing of the books. Or I got to look at my numbers, and I’ll watch the movie while I’m doing this. But I’m just kind of not there. Now, I just don’t. It’s like, I just spend time with my family. We just binge the TV. And it’s certainly not something I do all the time. But if I feel like doing it, I feel like doing it. And then I just put everything else aside and be like, you know what, it’ll be there. When I get to it next time. It’s okay though, the house of cards will not come down. Because I chose to spend six hours enjoying Netflix, you know, but it takes time to get there to realize that it’s not going to happen, you know, or Denise Antoon 38:36 Especially when it’s with your family because like my son said the other day, we were binge watching a show on Netflix. And he’s like, I really liked spending that time with you. You were not working because I used to do the same thing. I’d be on the computer. And I’m watching it now. Like you’re not watching it. What happened? Oh, well. You’re not watching it. Dr. Debra Muth 38:56 Yeah, exactly. Exactly. Well, Denise, I know you’re so busy. And I don’t want to take your entire day. We could talk for hours here. Is there anythingelse that you would like our listeners to know or have some piece of advice for them that you’d still like to share? Denise Antoon 39:14 I just want to let people know like, it’s okay. Like we just say it’s okay to do nothing sometimes, or to do something that you think is not a productive task. Like it’s okay to do those kind of things and let yourself be okay with that. It’s okay. If you sleep an extra hour or you decide to go to bed earlier or get up later. It’s okay. And not let other people guilt you. Because you did that because obviously your body’s telling you this is what you need to do your brain, your heart whatever speaking to you. It’s pulling you in that direction. Like, be okay with it. Dr. Debra Muth 39:52 Yeah, yeah, I agree. It’s okay for us to be okay with whatever it is we want in our life at that moment in that day. And it can change on a dime. And it can change from day to day. But ladies just learn to roll with it. Because once you learn to roll with it, life is so much better. Dr. Debra Muth 40:10 Well, Denise, thank you for joining us today. If people that are listening to us, we want to reach out to you and connect, how can they do that. Denise Antoon 40:19 So they can go to my website is the humanexperience group.com. Or you can email me at info@thehumanexperiencegroup.com Dr. Debra Muth 40:30 Awesome. And for those of you who are listening to us driving, please don’t stop and try to write that down. We will have that on our show notes. And we will also have it in our social media. Let’s talk wellness now Facebook page, and you will be able to connect with Denise and let her help you travel in wellness and happiness. And if you want to get involved in the human trafficking work that she does, please reach out to her. This is much needed in our communities right now. We need to protect our young people, and bring them home safely. So thank you for joining us today, Denise. Denise Antoon 41:04 Thank you for having me. Dr. Debra Muth 41:06 Our show today is brought to you by SerenityU. SerenityU is a university for health and wellness that I personally created. Because I wanted to be able to share all of the knowledge that I’ve learned and gained over 25 years in a platform that you could have access to 24/7. SerenityU is a place where you can tap my knowledge and my information whenever it’s convenient for you. It is a library of over 100 different topics, audios and PDFs that will help you learn all about integrative medicine. We want you to check it out now because we’ve got a great special going. So go to serenityu.com and look for our membership program today. Dr. Debra Muth 41:58 Hey, it has been really great sharing this time with you guys on the let’s talk wellness now podcast. If this episode has helped you or you feel as though this episode would help someone else we’d love for you to leave us a review, share this podcast and if you don’t want to miss the most exciting episodes we have coming. We’d love for you to subscribe to our podcast on iTunes or Google Play. Until next time, live every day to the fulles
44 minutes | 10 days ago
Episode 97: Finding Your Sensuality at Any Age and Utilizing It to Activate the Life You Desire
Have you ever wondered why it is so difficult to be comfortable with both your masculine and feminine energies? Victoria and Dr. Deb explore how to embrace both energies, while moving forward in the world with sensual energy so you can have the sex life, business life and home life that you have dreamed of. Do not miss these: [3:07] Coming from a variety of conflicting ethnic backgrounds when dealing with the concept of sensuality and sexuality. [6:10] Being depleted by the masculine side of business and learning to nurture the divine feminine [9:25] The magnetic power of full sensuality femininity [13:46] The transformations that can occur from embracing your sensuality and even more powerful when doing it together with others [18:52] Healing past trauma to really connect with others [22:08] Surrendering to the process [29:30] Victoria’s journey on embracing masculine energy and the addictive nature of it [34:38] The Ecstatic Women Experience About our Guest: Victoria Vives Khuong is the International bestselling Author of “In a Matter of Seconds”, healing and shamanism teacher, spiritual leader, and host of the Divine Sexuality podcast. She has helped over four thousand women around the world to access greater fulfillment in their lives and help others do the same through energy healing and spirituality. Victoria emphasizes Divine Sexuality as the most powerful philosophy she teaches because it is at the foundation of femininity and womanhood. Divine Sexuality facilitates women’s ability to positively relate to their bodies, to their partners and to their sexuality. https://VictoriaVives.com/divine https://VictoriaVives.com/divinesexuality https://instagram.com/victoriaviveskhuong/ Transcript for Episode #97: “Finding Your Sensuality at Any Age and Utilizing It to Activate the Life You Desire”   Dr. Debra Muth  0:00   Victoria Vives Khuong is going to join us today and I love this lady. I met her a few years ago at a podcast event that I was doing. And she just lit up the room ladies, it was amazing to see her glide and move around the room with so much intent and so much confidence. And I can’t wait for her to share her story with you. And for us to have a conversation about sensuality, and women just learning how to empower themselves with self esteem and sexuality. So my friend Victoria is an international best selling author of the book called in “A Matter of Seconds”, healing and shamanism teacher, she’s a spiritual leader, and the host of the Divine Sexuality podcast, she has helped over 4,000 women around the world to access greater fulfillment in their lives and help others do the same through energy, healing and spirituality. You know, I am so happy to have this conversation today because I did some of this very similar work in Spain where Victoria’s from with a different teacher before I knew Victoria, and this is just amazing work, it will change your life. So I’m happy to have her come and talk about this with us. And our conversation today is going to be about loving spontaneity, and self esteem and our sexuality. So please enjoy this conversation with us.   Dr. Debra Muth  1:51   Welcome to Let’s Talk Wellness Now! I’m your host, Dr. Deb. This is where we talk about everything wellness, and learn to defy aging, and live our lives on our own terms. I would love to invite all of you to meet my dear friend Victoria, Venus Kwan. She is just such a delight. You guys are gonna love her. She is going to talk to us today about sensuality. So welcome to the show, Victoria.   Victoria Vives Khuong  2:22   Thank you so much. Hi, everybody’s so happy to be here with you.    Dr. Debra Muth  2:28   Oh, girl, I just love your energy so much. It’s so awesome. So tell us a little bit about yourself!   Victoria Vives Khuong  2:36   Yes, Oh, my goodness. Okay, so I’m from Spain, and I grew up in a very conservative regime. So all these energy out there that you see was not always expressed. And I was kind of quiet, you know, it was a dictatorial regime, and then very, very repressed. And when we talk about sexuality and anything like that, so it was a completely different environment. In my household, my grandmother was very conservative as well, thank goodness, my, my mom and my aunt were a little bit more,  don’t know “out there”. So that helped. Absolutely. But truly, I had a lot of stigma around saying sexuality and sensuality within me. I don’t know if it came because of the dictatorship, the Catholicism, the part that is German, or some have a combination of these. But then I have my African side, my dad is from Nigeria, so I had these fiery energy inside. And, you know, like, me, six is amazing. So it was a little bit like this, how I put these conflicting energies, these forces in alignment and how I can make peace with it. So it was a lot of that in what a lot of things happen. I went into energy healing, excuse me, energy healing. And finally I realized, you know, for more healing that I do, unless I heal my sexuality, which is fundamental to us is what it means to be a woman what it means to be a man, unless we heal that it’s like, we don’t have foundation. It’s like a wheel that has no noise. And it doesn’t really contain the healing. So that was my experience. I had to heal my sexuality in order to really move forward.   Dr. Debra Muth  4:33   You know, that is so true. There’s so many times that we don’t look at how those things that were raised and taught as children affect us as adults. And I had a very similar upbringing, very conservative, you know, it was one of those households where the conversation about sexuality was if you come home pregnant before you’re married, have a seat on the railroad tracks and don’t come home. And so it was was very, you don’t think of it as traumatic, you just kind of think of it as that’s it. But then when you start doing healing and you start doing processing work, you realize there’s that trauma that was there that you just kind of suppressed because it was everywhere, right. And so I did a very similar approach to what you did in training. Gosh, it’s gonna be almost two years now, in Spain. And so I went and did that sensuality, training and teaching with other women and learning how to have relationships with women, because that’s very hard for me, I’m very masculine, too, I do much better with men than I have in women in my life. But I wanted to change that I wanted to have that openness. And I wanted to know how to address that soft side of me again, because I felt like in business, and I’m always in that masculine side, and I wasn’t living from my true feminine side. And so I did a very similar journey that you did. And it has opened up amazing things for me in my personal life, but also in my business life, you know, when you start to move on that sensual, soft side of you, business changes for you. It’s crazy.   Victoria Vives Khuong  6:10   Everything changes in our lives with this. And what I noticed is that as business women, as you mentioned, we get to this masculinity and we start getting depleted. And it’s almost like life don’t have any more meaning. Yeah, just work in and focus on me high achieving women. And you know, that is so much more to life. And we realize that when we start nurturing our divine feminine, and really instead to push through our business to accomplish things, is allow, like surrender and allow things to happen open to receive, which is the feminine, and just to start healing ourselves, because there is so much that we are carrying all this burden from past generations sometimes that were passed down to us. And we don’t want to send this to the next generation. So we want to start healing this stigma about sexuality. As you mentioned, relationship with older women, sometimes we don’t know how to relate. So their relationship with our bodies with the same gender, the other gender, all of this is essential for us to feel comfortable in, in our lives.   Dr. Debra Muth  7:19   Yeah, I think so much of the feminine energy has been suppressed, you know, then we have the feminine movement, and that was great. And then things kind of switched again. And now we’re now I feel like we’re as women were somewhat lost, because we want to bet be that feminist, but we also want that soft site. And so how do we balance both of those and function in this world that we have today?    Victoria Vives Khuong  7:45   Absolutely. So we really achieved Amazing, amazing things. As women, we were able to be equal to men with this feminist movement. And this was super important to us. What happens now is that we don’t have the bandwidth to be both the nurturers have been our femininity, and also the masculine aspect. So we are completely broken away, like like really torn apart, trying to feed everything, and we forget about ourselves. So all that energy without we have, we want to build our business, we want to nurture our families, and then we don’t really practice that self care for us. And unless we start there, the rest is just going to vanish. Yeah, so it is so important. And when we identify ourselves as women as men, the balance between the masculine and the feminine, is what is so fundamental. Yeah, to really understand that these two energies, we all have them. And if we forget about them, because our society our way that we normally leave like here, especially in places that are more advanced, we are so masculine. We need to to bring more of that feminine energy, so that we are able to enjoy what we are seeing in our lives.   Dr. Debra Muth  9:04   It is so true, because you’re right like I know so many women that want to accomplish so many things, and it’s often talks about is that that’s our masculine side that helps us accomplish all of that. But it doesn’t have to be just that our feminine side can accomplish things and do things correct.   Victoria Vives Khuong  9:25   Absolutely is a powerful force is the creative life force energy within us that sexual energy and it can really makes us become magnetic. Like there is nothing as precious as a woman entering the room. She’s in her full sensuality femininity, and he’s grounded in it is connected to her nature because we forget that we are part of nature. We are part of Mother Earth and we forget about those primal energies that we have. We spend most of the time focused on our minds connecting with it for me being intellectual, we forget how important it is to use the other side of the brain, the other hemisphere, the right hemisphere, and tap into things that are more abstract that we don’t need to process intellectually. So we need to embrace that. And when you see somebody like that you see them and they like free, like the wild, and it’s like, wow, you know, they magnetic.   Dr. Debra Muth  10:23   It’s so true. Because when I see a powerful woman like that, who’s like really just rocking her being walk into a room, it’s like, all eyes are on her. And everybody is watching to see how she moves and what she does and how she interacts with people. And it looks like it’s so easy, and they’re so confident in it. And I know it took time for them to be comfortable in that it wasn’t like they woke up one day and it’s like, Yes, here I am. I’m home in here before here I come right. It takes work for us to be comfortable in that energy because of what society has put on us all these years, to make us push that energy away. Correct?   Victoria Vives Khuong  11:06   Yes, so what I notice is that instead I traveled the world. And Ay, ay ay ay ay ay perform with people from different places. So for a while I was performing some bar with Brazilian and Cuban people. And you would see them they didn’t have any problem embodying their sensuality, their energy, expressing freely. Like from eight in the morning, they were on fire. It was amazing. So it’s a lot when we come into being civilized, being intelligent. And now we become so serious, that we are not in the present moment. And we forget that these all these sanity that that we can connect with, it’s actually part of our health. Like, if we want to stay healthy, we really need to be present in our bodies. So feeling good in your body. Like I see women sometimes that they may not be the stereotype that we see in the masses, but they are so confident in their bodies, they feel comfortable, they feel beautiful, they don’t care about anything else, and they’re going to feel gorgeous, and just go out there and just be themselves. So this have come forth in our physical vehicle, so that we can express our soul at 100% is this magical? First, it is awesome,   Dr. Debra Muth  12:25   because you know, I hear this day in and day out my practice is primarily women. And so many of them want to learn how to feel comfortable with who they are now, how they look now at 50 or 60, compared to what they looked like at 20. And it’s so big effort for that, like, it’s hard for us to accept that our bodies are changing, and that we’re different, and that we’re not that 110 pound, you know, stick woman that we were when we were kids. It’s a real big problem for women who accept themselves for that.   Victoria Vives Khuong  13:03   Absolutely, we see the magazines, the standard of beauty is, as you said, 20 year old 110. And we don’t realize the beauty, the wisdom, the the space that a woman that is mature that has lived that that is like it’s this wisdom that they have. That is so precious. So in my groups of women, I had a group that specifically I always think of this incredible woman. So I have people that come in, they are in their 20s 30s. But I had this older woman. And in the beginning she didn’t feel beautiful. She was like oh my goodness, all these goddesses. And then here I am. So she didn’t share how she felt in the beginning. But then as she was sharing, she started transforming. And she has started learning things that we can do, to feel better in our bodies to understand our role in the community, which is precious and so important and essential. And if we go to ancestral traditions, we understand more of all of that. And also understanding that her beauty and her threshold of her sexuality, most the most incredible gift, even at her age, and there are things that we can learn to make our sexuality better. So this was one of the stories that I always remembered and it opens my heart so much because she completed the training just feeling like a goddess.   Dr. Debra Muth  14:36   That is so awesome. You know, I when I went to the sensuality training to I was the oldest woman there. So I didn’t feel uncomfortable when I was the oldest woman there. There were other women you know, in their 40s and there were some younger ones in their 20s but it was interesting to watch how all of us just kind of shared our Hearts sorrows and the things that we wanted to learn to love about ourselves. But every woman, regardless of the age, all had the same issues. And that’s accepting of who we are as women, and shedding those family values that have been placed on us that we don’t want to carry anymore. And if I was so happy to see younger women doing that, because I would have loved to have access to something like that when I was 20. And it’s great that they’re learning that now because they’re not going to carry that for 30 years with them. You know, they’re going to embody that and go into the world and bring that feminine energy from the very beginning. And that’s awesome,   Victoria Vives Khuong  15:40   So precious, so precious. Oh, my goodness, that’s what I always feel that my grandmother was leaving during war. So she didn’t have the opportunity to say, I’m going to go to this incredible retreat. She never even imagined that this exists that, but nowadays, we have this opportunity. And it’s almost like I feel that responsibility to transform what it means to be a woman and enjoy our sexuality. So that’s why I’m so passionate about it. And sometimes there are things that we are suffering in silence. And we might not feel comfortable to tell our friends or our beloved, or our psychologies, but when we come in these circles with the intention and the purpose of healing together, we share things and we realize, oh, my goodness, everybody can relate like each woman in this room understands exactly what I’m saying. So he saw a freedom that comes from that, and understanding that we are together in this and we are transforming all that a stigma together.   Dr. Debra Muth  16:40   That is so true. And you know, it’s great to see people recognize that even though you may be 40, or 50, or 60, you can still have an amazing sex life, our sex life has to change as we age, it’s not going to be what it was when we were 20. No matter how much we want it. Our bodies can’t do some things that it used to do as we get older, but to know that you can still have an amazing sex life and sex doesn’t have to be what we think it is. I mean, when I went to this retreat, and we were talking about sexuality, and when men get older, and they don’t perform the same way that sex doesn’t have to end. And it was shocking for a lot of people to recognize like, yes, sex may be different, but it still can be that intimate connection. It we just have to look at it differently and accept it differently.   Victoria Vives Khuong  17:30   Absolutely any you know. Like, I don’t know the word in English, but like sharing with you secretly here. I mean, I had for the most part of my life, a terrible difficulty having orgasms. Now, I really can have multiple orgasms that I never had before. Because I release all these blockages, I understood my body, I understood how to connect with my partner. So all that wisdom, sometimes we don’t have it in our 20s not necessarily needs depends, of course you need to fast but sexuality can get better and better. Is this understanding how to flow through it and how it transforms? Absolutely, absolutely.    Dr. Debra Muth  18:13   And I glad you bring that up, because so many women are disconnected from their bodies, because they don’t want to feel pain. They felt pain for a variety of reasons, whether it’s emotional or physical. And so they just turn off parts of their bodies, so they don’t feel anymore. But as we do that, we start not feeling other things too. And when you can start to release those blockages, and you can actually feel again, it not only helps you in your emotional world, but it helps us in your physical world too. Because I see that everyday people have pain. That’s not physical pain, it’s emotional, trapped pain that’s causing the physical pain, but they don’t know that and they don’t know how to move it.   Victoria Vives Khuong  18:52   Absolutely many of us have been abused to some extent. And when we have that experience, when something that is meant to bring connection to another human being becomes something that we are afraid of something that we have lost that is so precious. So unless we go and heal that trauma and and really start transforming that and understanding, you know, we can release these from our bodies because it’s a visceral reaction that we have to this, you know, we can try intellectually to understand our own you know, it’s okay, I overcame it, but it’s not that, like, then somebody touches you and it’s like, oh, my goodness, I feel violated. So we really need to go and heal that trauma, and start releasing those blockages, also, the conditioning, if we had this very conservative regime growing up or things like that, we need to be able to release that because otherwise, every time that we have, the desire to connect and bond with our beloved is going to come in between like I remember so many times. Feeling so fiery and passionate. With my beloved, and then it’s like a thought you’d have seen there, oh, maybe I shouldn’t do this, why I’m so impure, you know, you can now enjoy. Like, like driving and you are wanting to accelerate and then the break and it’s not possible. So we need to release all of that. And that’s what I do normally with, with my work, just helping women releasing this block. So much of that can get trapped in our subconscious, that we don’t even know it’s there until you start doing some of this work and you start moving it, and then you finally actually can heal from it, it’s such an powerful thing for us. It is because it’s very little that we can keep in our conscious awareness. You know, if we, we have all these memories for everything that happened in our lives. So what we are able to really focus on, consciously so little. So unless we start releasing all that information that is all over our bodies, that we remember what happened viscerally unless we are able to feel that we cannot truly feel that place of self actualization, what I called the ecstatic moment experience,    Dr. Debra Muth  21:19   Oh, I love that I love. I know when I was doing some of this work, too. And we went through some of the exercises, it’s amazing how in your mind, you may not know where the fear or the anger or the hurt is coming from, you don’t really remember the whole thing that happened, you just know that something’s moving. And that’s the grace of this work is that you don’t have to remember the trauma to heal the trauma. And I love that because sometimes people’s trauma is so severe that they don’t want to relive it and they’re afraid. But you ladies, you don’t have to, you don’t have to do that to get over this and be the person you’re looking to be that’s the gift of all of this.   Victoria Vives Khuong  22:08   I agree when we couldn’t communicate with our subconscious, many times is metaphorical. So it doesn’t have to be factual. And then another thing that happens also, is that when we go through this process, it’s more painful when we resist it, than the moment in which we just surrender and say, Okay, I’m going to go through it, because it’s almost like we it’s almost like carrying in your hands are a frying pan that is burning, and it’s like, oh, Aha. And I don’t want to look at it. Okay, I look at it, and I leave it, and then you’re free. So he is like years and years of suffering, carrying these around with us. And then the moment that we say, Okay, I surrender to just go through it, and feel it just one one time. But now we go through it, and we are in the other side. So that’s another experience that I had in some of my students have had, that they are able to Oh, wow, you know, it was more painful. All this time that I resisted it, that now that I surrender, and just let it go,   Debra Muth  23:15   yeah, I felt the same way. Like I was carrying around this burden from over 10 years ago, a trauma that happened in my family, and every six months, it would come up. And it was like clockwork, every six months. And it took me a while to figure out the pattern. But something would happen. And I’d say okay, why again, and now all these painful memories and feelings were coming up again. And then it’d be two, three months, and I finally get over it. And then here it would come again. And I started to feel like I must be attracting this somehow somehow I’m attracting whatever it is to come and bring this back up. And that was one of the things when I went to Spain to go to my program to I said, I want this to be gone once and for all i want to heal it, I want to be done with it. And I came back and it got started. If six months later, it didn’t happen again. And I was like, Okay, I am done with this. I walked through this, then I’m walking through this now. And I’m going to do what I need to do. So it doesn’t come up again. And I took a hold of it. And I did it and I passed through it. And now it’s like, I don’t have those reactions every time somebody says something or I hear something or, or whatever memory brings it back up. It’s just like, okay, it’s gone. I’m done with it now. And it can happen but it takes some work to do it, you know?    Victoria Vives Khuong  24:41   Yes. And you know, that experience that you say every six months is like no, no, yeah, I must be here. So life is the best teacher is no way to escape it. So he’s going to be like, Hey, I’m here to still. Are you ready?   Debra Muth  24:57   Yeah, you ready to deal with me? yet?   Victoria Vives Khuong  25:00   Like, it’s just amazing. Sometimes it’s a little fastidious, like, I don’t want to deal with it. But it’s always for our greatest good. So as long as we trust that and we say, Okay, I’ll do it. On the other side, there are incredible things.   Dr. Debra Muth  25:16   There are and, you know, I don’t care how long it’s been bothering you, there is a way to get rid of it and just deal with it once and for all. So you don’t have to be carrying it around. It doesn’t serve us anyway.   Victoria Vives Khuong  25:30   Yes. So for me, the word, the word healing represents not only healing your trauma, but also there is always a new layer, like you can always go to greater self actualization, awareness, happiness, there is always another layer, for example, in Chinese medicine, traditions, that is the idea of first we need to recover ourselves, then maintain that health. But then we can go once we are feeling well, we go to tonification, which is now we go for longevity, like I’m doing great, but there is more. Yeah. So is that idea that even when we are feeling great, what is the next you know, like, like, I am excited to go to the next level. Today, I have one awesome idea, more bonding more experiences, more joy in life, how we can continue developing that awareness and that understanding and know thyself. So we are able to transform.   Dr. Debra Muth  26:31   Yeah, that is so true. You know, and especially mature relationships, like I’ve been married 30 years. So my partner and I know each other pretty well. But when I went to this, I was like, I want to experience something completely different. Yeah, we were a little boring. You know, we could tell exactly what each other was going to do. And it was like, okay, whatever. But I was the one that said, I want something different. I want to experience passion again, and I want our relationship to be different. And let’s do date night, let’s focus on each other. Let’s explore things like we did when our relationship was young. And I was so glad that I did it. Because now it’s kind of like I have a brand new relationship. And it’s exciting. And it’s fun. And I’m dressing up and wanting to look nice again for him. And it’s it really makes you feel like a woman again, it makes you feel like this is what I meant to do. It’s so wonderful.    Victoria Vives Khuong  27:26   That’s so beautiful to hear. Deborah, that’s so important because it is true. I mean, I have not been married for three years, but I’m about to reach 14. So I absolutely see that in and we need to continuously think, Okay, what is the next step? What can I do to really reconnect and stay alive? Because otherwise it will stop growing?We are dying.    Dr. Debra Muth  27:57   That’s right. That’s right. And, and I think if you want to, if you envision your life, the way a love novel is, or you want to be swept away, as a woman, we have to do something to help make that happen. We can’t just think it and not put it out in the universe and not tell somebody that we want it we we have the luxury in this day and age to do what we need to do to make our desires happen. You know, and that’s a good thing. Because there was a time we weren’t able to do that.   Victoria Vives Khuong  28:28   That’s true. And now we we have an excuse me that we have that freedom. And also, as women, we really can hold these are already sysm and really bring all the warmth and the fiery energy and excitement to the relationship like we have it easy. Because our men are just going to be like, Oh, my goodness.   Debra Muth  28:52   yes, that’s what they’ve been waiting for us to do for a very long time. So you have a secret that I would love for you to share. I learned something about you in your past life. Maybe you have some very masculine energy at one time. Will you share what you used to do? And you may still do but I don’t see you in that light as much. But you were you were a dynamic like a Shiro thing.   Victoria Vives Khuong  29:30   Thank you, you know, so let me let me share how this started. When I was growing up, I was in this household of women, just three women three mothers I am going to go into an only girl school. So I was like fed up because in Spain, in Spain being a woman was like second class and I was like, I want to be the next loser. I gonna be like, man. So that was my goal. like okay, I can win. Go with the men and learn how they do it and be successful and powerful. So that was my desire. So finally, I found a man that taught me how to start martial arts doing a standard work, fight choreography. And it just exploded. Like I became super successful. So I have like 5 million views on on YouTube. I do a lot of work In India, in Universal Studios for Call of Duty, I did a lot of work. And yes, I was like, wow, powerful kicking, guys, you know, like, I went in that direction. The thing is that I was getting too much, you know, I was like, Okay, okay, calm down Victoria. And then he was almost like, he turned around, he’s like, okay, martial arts, now let’s go into healing arts to combine a little bit imbalance.   Dr. Debra Muth  31:01   And part of that is because that masculine energy is so addicting, right? I mean, it’s like, you have it and you want more, and you get more powerful and more powerful. But that’s when we really start to lose our feminine side. And so it’s so nice to hear that you found balance that I did the same thing. Two years ago, when I went away, I said, I have to find balance, because I’m driving, driving, doing doing conquering, and I’m loving it, the more I’m doing it, the more I’m loving it. And then the more my relationship is pulling away from my partner, and then I’m starting to, like, dictate us, like, you know, I’m not one of your employees. I’m like, Yes, you are. And I had to check myself like, oh, wait a minute, you know, I have to be in this relationship as a feminine, not as another masculine, and actually started to see where I was, the masculine is de masculinizing him a little bit. And not on purpose, but just by total accident, because I was the stronger personality. And I needed find that balance, too. And I’m working at it every day, and I’m finding it but every day is its work to find that balance.   Victoria Vives Khuong  32:13   I totally believe I have been there. And you know, I feel that as women, we have this capacity of really become the men like the Masculine force, and almost become a little scary sometimes. And it’s so empowering. Like, I can take the world. And it’s sometimes hard because especially for people, I don’t know how it is here in more in the US. But where I grew up, like, we were really limited as women, so it was like, I just don’t want to be limited, you know, you have to be powerful. Why? Why I cannot be powerful. So once you feel it is like, Okay, I’m going to take it all in, you know, he can be self destructive in some ways. So, yeah, basically, I crashed and burned. So I said, Okay, okay, let’s balance a little bit. And then I went in the other direction, super feminine. And then it’s like, Who am I. And that’s when I also started more with divine sexuality and balancing my energy within making sure that my masculine is supporting my feminine. And I can be in that balance, so that I don’t demand too much from my husband. And, you know, we just need to balance that within us in order to be in harmony with others.   Dr. Debra Muth  33:37   Yeah. And I think that’s so common for women to go from one extreme to another as they’re trying to find that balance and explore. And, and I’ve been working with women for 25 years. And every time it’s the same story, it’s a woman that crashes and burns that has to be rebuilt from the up. So ladies that are listening to us if you haven’t crashed and burned know that you don’t have to get to that place to enjoy this luxury that Victoria and I have learned because of the hard way you don’t have to get there you can do this before you crash and burn and have the life that you’re looking for.   Victoria Vives Khuong  34:18   Absolutely. Listen, go balance law knows.   Dr. Debra Muth  34:25   Exactly. So Victoria, I would love for you to share -you have a program that you teach women how to do this. Will you share with us how that works and what that looks like?   Victoria Vives Khuong  34:38   Absolutely. So I have the ecstatic woman experience. So in this program, what we do is we go through five hidden traumas, we are able to release the traps that that are keeping us away from the ecstatic woman experience. And we are able as a community of women to really transform these five aspects. So one them is this of this aspect of depletion of being so much in our masculine, that we are not able to reconnect with our feminine. So I know that one is going to be to be able to move beyond sexual guilt, when we have this conditioning on your to slavery, or just to the student have these feelings, you know, all of that, or people is going to look at me. So release in that other trap. Another trap is going to be how we feel with our bodies, regardless of our age, and how we can enjoy six quality out our best any age that we are.   Victoria Vives Khuong  35:39   Another one is to have that sisterhood that is the companionship to really know that somebody has gotten your back knows exactly how you’re feeling through this, and can be there for you. And then also, we’re going to work with healing sexual trauma, because we can learn all the sex postures that we won’t, unless we release all the trauma, we’re not going to be able to enjoy sexuality if we don’t feel safe. So we go through those five aspects, and making sure that we have the process to not just work intellectually, but go deep into our subconscious. And being able to release any pain, any trauma, and embrace that ecstatic experience.   Dr. Debra Muth  36:24   I love that that is amazing. And that’s what all of us as women need to be whole again, we need to shut these things to be whole.   Victoria Vives Khuong  36:35   And I actually have the book if anybody wants to learn more about these five hidden traps. So I have that ebook. I don’t know if this will be immediate, but if it is the five secrets to become an ecstatic woman. So it’s a free book on my website, http://www.victorisvives.com/divine.   Dr. Debra Muth  37:05   And for those of you who are driving, don’t try to stop and write that down. We will have that in our show notes. It’ll also be on our social media. So you’ll be able to find this link very easily. So Victoria with the pandemic that’s going on right now, are you still meeting with women in person? Or are you doing things more virtually right now?   Victoria Vives Khuong  37:25   More virtually, yes. And we are eager to come back to the time that we can meet in person because there is a lot of work that has a difference when we are able to be with one another. Yeah. However, they online work and be incredible. And he has been incredible, especially to support us in this time, where we don’t have the opportunity to connect and hug so many people feeling that oxytocin and feeling so nurtured. So it’s so important to maintain them and be able to share that self care, and also bring the healing home. So what I love for the courses that we did in 2020 that were online is to be able for each of the women to create their space, their sacred space for sexuality in their home, and we were meeting and you were seeing all these beautiful places. And they created this space to nurture themselves. So that was an amazing experience. Because sometimes they come in person, they have this environment, I have a special room for all of these. But then they go back home, and maybe they don’t have that. So in this case is like we we emphasize creating that space at home.    Dr. Debra Muth  38:36   Oh, that’s awesome. I love that idea. And even you know, for people who can’t travel for whatever reason, finances or body or whatever, they can’t leave their children. This online learning is such a great opportunity for you to take advantage of it now, while it still exists. And you can get your needs met and care for yourself why we’re all in lockdown. And we’re all going stir crazy at this point, not knowing what to do with ourselves. This is a great way to spend time healing yourself. So when we come out of this pandemic, we are ready to just shine as the women we want to be instead of us sitting back and saying, Oh gosh, poor us. We can’t go anywhere. We can’t do anything. take this opportunity to really work on yourself so that you are the person you want to be when you come out of this.   Victoria Vives Khuong  39:26   Absolutely, you nailed it there because I feel that you know when we were talking about Knock knock, it’s life. So I feel that’s what happened in 2020. He was like, oh, there is so much mess here like you are faking it. Because most people spend the majority of the day in their work in their office driving and they don’t have so much family time. So if there is trauma or things happening, it’s almost like okay, well I just deal with this. A couple of hours. Today, but now it’s like, we are always in front of it. Because life has forced us in our way to really face every single thing this year. So, because of that, I feel that it’s almost like this grand initiation at a global level, like, okay, you have to deal with it now. So ladies, let’s deal with this now.   Dr. Debra Muth  40:26   And what kind of fun to have practicing our sensuality when we have nothing else to do.   Victoria Vives Khuong  40:33   You’re at home already!   Dr. Debra Muth  40:35   Already at home, so let’s sexuality and really make this what you want it to be and make it make 2020 what you want it to be, and make 2020 year relationship that you want to be with yourself and with your partner. This is a great opportunity for them to hear you. And yeah,   Victoria Vives Khuong  40:57   An amazing 2021 for sure?   Dr. Debra Muth  40:59   Yes, absolutely. Absolutely. So Victoria, I know your time is precious. And I don’t want to keep you longer than we need to. But is there anything else that our ladies need to know about? Or that you want to share with them to make 2021 a better year or better for them? Well,   Victoria Vives Khuong  41:19   I’m super happy to connect. So feel free to check out my Divine Sexuality podcast. I also have a Facebook group that you can join so that we keep the conversation. And ladies don’t wait because we’re not getting any younger. And not that that’s a bad thing. But we don’t want to wait, like the sooner we start the transformation. They said it’s going to be for us. So let’s start making this time in our lives count.   Dr. Debra Muth  41:45   Absolutely. Because you know, every day that we don’t do this is one day that’s lost have something amazing that we could have experienced in life. And if we want life to be amazing, then we’ve got to do something to make that happen every day for us. Absolutely. I love it. I love it. Well, ladies, you guys need to really check out her website and its Victoria Venus comm check out her Facebook. And even if you have to just kind of stop for a little bit on the Facebook and watch her and see her. Do that until you feel comfortable joining that Facebook group. You’re going to love it with her trust me.   Victoria Vives Khuong  42:27   Oh, thank you so much. It’s such a pleasure to be here with you. Thank you so much for the opportunity.    Dr. Debra Muth  42:33   Oh, you’re very welcome. very welcome. Thank you for joining us. Our show today is brought to you by SerenityU. SerenityU is a university for health and wellness that I personally created because I wanted to be able to share all of the knowledge that I’ve learned and gained over 25 years in a platform that you could have access to 24/7, serenity you is a place where you can tap my knowledge and my information whenever it’s convenient for you. It is a library of over 100 different topics, audios and PDFs that will help you learn all about integrative medicine. We want you to check it out now because we’ve got a great special going. So go to serenityu.com and look for our membership program today.    Debra Muth  43:29   Hey, it has been really great sharing this time with you guys on the Let’s Talk Wellness Now podcast. If this episode has helped you are you feel as though this episode would help someone else we’d love for you to leave us a review. Share this podcast. And if you don’t want to miss the most exciting episodes we have coming. We’d love for you to subscribe to our podcast on iTunes or Google Play. Until next time, live every day to the fullest  
16 minutes | 17 days ago
Episode 96: 10 Health Care Trend Predictions for 2021!
Dr. Deb gives her top 10 health care trends for new products and services for 2021. Do not miss these: Tele-medicine (2:46)Online fitness classes (4:47)Group health delivery (5:46)Personal health tracking devices (6:48)Mental health treatment alternatives (7:29)Personal responsibility (8:41)Healthy meal kits (9:46)Supplements (11:09)Red light therapy (12:27)Packaged superfoods (13:38) Interested in the Phoenix Factor Coaching Program? Connect with me: http://calendly.com/dr-deb/phoenixfactor Transcript of Episode #96: Ten Healthcare Trend Predictions for 2021! Hi, everybody, this episode is brought to you by my very own Phoenix Factor coaching program. Look, we are all trying to create that absolute perfect life. Let me show you how to do that for free. In my virtual coaching strategy call, you and I are going to spend 20 minutes chatting about your desires where you want to take your business life, your health, and of course, your sex life. And then I’m going to give you tips and ideas and techniques on how to actually get that going for 2020. So you can have that absolutely perfect, amazing life you’re looking for. Now, it’s super simple. All you need to do is click on my Calendly link here in the podcast notes. And hop on pick your time, and let’s start creating that amazing life that you’re looking for.  0:58  Welcome to Let’s Talk Wellness. Now, I’m your host, Dr. Deb. This is where we talk about everything wellness, and learn to defy aging, and live our lives on our own terms.  1:12  So it is that time of year again, it is the most wonderful time of year, where we are all here to embrace the New Year, bless everything that is wonderful to us to talk about the festivities and Christmas holidays and Hanukkah, and all of those spiritual things that we do at the end of the year. 1:36  But today, I don’t want to talk to you about all the upcoming festivities because it’s 2020, right? And there are no upcoming festivities for this year. But I want to talk to you about our annual wellness trends strategy. So every year as a team, we sit down and come up with and think about what are going to be the biggest trends in health care and wellness as we move into the upcoming year. And this year has been unlike any other year, correct? I mean, who would have thought nine months of worldwide shut down, mask wearing, vaccine creativity and everything else that’s come in light of our pandemic that we’re suffering from here. So I want to jump in without any further ado, to our 2021 Wellness trend prediction list.  2:38  So here are some of the things that I see as wellness predictions in 2021. Tele medicine for sure this is here to stay at a higher rate than ever before. So telemedicine is an opportunity for you to speak with your practitioner or your doctor via computer or via a phone app. Many people are taking advantage of telemedicine, it’s been around for years, we used to call it phone consultation back in the day where we would hop on a phone with a client and we would strategize whatever was going on with them. But now we call it “telemedicine”. “Tele” for phone or “tele” for computer, it doesn’t really matter. It’s the same thing. It’s an electronic version of our office visit. And there are so many things that we can do inside that telehealth practice. Now granted, there are limited things, it’s very difficult for us to examine a rash or the dentist to look in your mouth or for us to suture something or set a broken arm those kinds of things we can’t do. But when we’re talking about health and wellness and the goals or looking at supplementation and reviewing labs, all of those things can be done via telemedicine. Some people absolutely love it because it’s easy, they can do it on their lunch break, they don’t have to travel, they just have to be near a computer or a phone, they don’t have to drop their kids off or get a daycare. And other people really don’t enjoy it. They miss the human connection in an office fitting visit setting. And so for some people, it’s great and other people it’s not but I’m telling you it is here to stay, it will be part of the way we all do business going forward in the future. Insurance companies are recognizing this and many are compensating practices for telemedicine. And that is a great thing because in the past they would not compensate for those kinds of things. So that is number one on our list of wellness prediction trends for 2021.  4:47  Fitness is my next trend. So we need fitness more than ever, especially since we’re in lockdown mode and shutdown mode. But we’re going to have to get creative and how we deliver fitness. So fitness courses that are delivered via an app or a computer program are really a great way. You know, so many people have gotten away from DVDs and even USB drives that contain all of their fitness programs. So hosting live courses via zoom or some kind of other app system, I think is what we’re going to see for the wave of the future. Because people are still going to want that connection, we still need to do it in a group setting, this is going to be an opportunity for people to connect and get their health and wellness needs met in a great way and to shake things up, mix things up. So fitness on demand in your home. That is my second tip.  5:46  Group Health delivery, I think this is a great niche for very specific health conditions. So people who are diabetic or weight loss programs or people who have nutritional needs that need to be taught or cancer treatment, nutrition courses, I think Group Health delivery in cooking classes are going to be great. But the research has shown that there are better outcomes and lower prices for clients to meet in group settings, it’s less time for the practitioner, they don’t have to say the same thing multiple times. But the other positive thing from the group is that the group gets to support one another, share their successes, share their places they’re getting stuck. And as a group, everyone gets to support that person, and give them tips and tricks on what they did to make them successful and make them more productive in what they’re doing on their group health delivery.  6:48  Number four: personal health tracking devices. So fitbits, heart rate trackers, all of these tracking type apps, I think are going to be very important going forward in our future, especially the more tele health that we do. Doctors are going to want to see various fitness trackers or health trackers that people are using to track their heart rate, their blood pressure, their sleep, their nutrition, their activity level, these are all going to be things that are going to help not only you understand what’s going on with your body, but allow your practitioner to help us understand what’s going on with your body as well. 7:29  Mental Health has been a big concern during this pandemic. More people are using narcotics, antidepressants, anti anxiety medications, and consuming more alcohol and food than what they’re used to doing. There is an opportunity for us to provide a functional medicine approach in helping to identify the underlying cause of the symptoms of depression and anxiety. And it’s going to be with key functional medicine tests and amino acid supplementation that’s going to help people get through this very difficult time. There are urine tests that can be done. There are group coaching programs that can be done. There’s amino acid therapy that can help people so you don’t have to use antidepressants or anti anxiety medications. But this is going to be a big concern. So tele health for psychological maintenance and well being is really big. But for some people, that can be a challenge as well, because again, they like to sit across from someone they need that human connectedness. So any way that we can provide a human connection for mental health, I think that is going to be a great feat for us.  8:41  Personal Responsibility is number six, I think patients are learning to take control and be involved in their health care. This is a brand new thing for a lot of people realizing that they have a say-so in their health care, they have a choice in what they do. It’s called radical responsibility. And this will launch patients into functional medicine, to learn about health care tips, habits, and things that we can take away to make our lives healthier, to make ourselves more balanced and nourished from a different way. And I just thought of something again, on the mental health side. You know, I think it’s so important for us to recognize that in our physical body is what we project in our mental body and the same thing. So if one of our areas are out the other areas suffering as well. And so that connectedness and this is where personal responsibility and mental health connection all become one. This is a huge thing for us today.  9:46  Number seven is healthy meal kits. Oh, this is great. You know, unfortunately, we’re forced to cook at home. And for some people that is an unfortunate thing for other people, they absolutely love the opportunity. To cook at home, they know how to cook, they love cooking. And it’s just such a wonderful thing for them. But for a lot of other people, they’ve never learned how to cook. They don’t know the rules, they don’t know how to prepare meals, they don’t know what foods to put together. And so I really think healthy meal kits on the go is going to be a big blast for healthcare going into 2021. I also think this could be a great business venture for a lot of you listening who love to cook, and are good at it, you could create an offering for cooking classes via zoom, or in person if you’re inclined to do that. And you could gain a following very quickly to provide a loyal following and and potential clients for any business venture you want to do in the future. But I think this is a great opportunity for people who know how to cook and love to cook because people are home, they need to learn this skill, they need to learn how to use what they have in their pantry, and they need to be able to provide a healthy, good tasting meal to their families.  11:09  Number eight: supplementation, you know, people have been gaining weight with COVID. We call it the COVID 15. Not eating properly, they’re living more stressed lives, taking care of their children, working from home, homeschooling, not being able to see their family. These are all really stressful things to us whether we’re sensing it as a stressor on the body or not. And this gives us an opportunity to consume supplements that are going to support our bodies in a really great way and help make us healthier, stronger, longer. So we actually have created a few health protocols for general health and wellness, for immune system building, for hormonal balancing. And you can find them on fullscripts.com (which is our online dispensary). And you can get access to our protocols that we’ve developed for patients through that website and then also check them out on our Facebook page: Let’s Talk Wellness Now or Serenity Health Care Center to see the different protocols that we’ve put together for you to be healthier in 2021.  12:27  Alright, number nine: red light therapy. Red light therapy is something that’s really interesting. You know, it has been around for several years. And it helps to rebuild the mitochondria repair tissue. And this is something that in the past was only available through practitioners or chiropractors, but now, they actually sell red light therapy products that you can have at home that can help repair tissue damage on a regular basis so that you don’t have to go to the practice to get this. This service is something you can do right from your home. They have small handheld devices, they have larger devices. And I think this is a great fit for people who are looking for various forms of therapy. I have a red light therapy kit on my sauna that I just purchased last year. And it’s a it’s an entire light therapy. So it goes through all the different spectrum of colors to heal the body on a different basis.  13:38  Number 10: packaged superfoods. These are infused products that we can cook with instead of ingesting multiple pills. So I’m sure many of you are used to seeing products like deeper greens or organic greens that you put into a smoothie, or you can take as a capsule. Well these packaged superfoods are actually foods that can be purchased in a store or online. And you can teach your clients or teach yourself how to infuse these foods while they’re cooking. To make them super foods. For instance, there’s a iron product that you can put into your soups and chilis that will infuse iron rich nutrients and trace minerals into that food that you’re cooking. Therefore you don’t have to take extra supplements or extra products as well. And look for a show coming into 2021 on the topic of infused superfoods.  14:45  So these are the top things that I see trending in the healthcare for 2021. These changes are coming, whether we like them or not, they’re here and I’m sure there’s going to be a ton of new lines of business that are going to come out in 2021 to support our health and wellness goals. So I would love for you to share this episode with people that you know that are looking for different trends that healthcare trends to either bring into their lifestyle or maybe new business ventures for healthcare trends. Either way, I would love for you to share this episode with people who are going to resonate with us and look forward to 2021 being positive and upbeat. Instead of looking at it as being just another extended version of 2021.  15:41  Hey, it has been really great sharing this time with you guys on the let’s talk wellness now podcast. If this episode has helped you, or you feel as though this episode would help someone else we’d love for you to leave us a review, share this podcast. And if you don’t want to miss the most exciting episodes we have coming. We’d love for you to subscribe to our podcast on iTunes or Google Play. Until next time, live every day to the fullest.
24 minutes | 24 days ago
Episode 95: New Year’s Resolutions That Are Sustainable
What are sustainable New Year’s Resolutions? These are Resolutions that we can actually incorporate into our daily lives and KEEP! Do not miss these: Eat more Whole foods (3:12) Sit less, move more (4:38) Reduce sweetened beverage intake (6:06) Quality Sleep (8:16) Physical activity you enjoy (9:45) Practice self-care (10:57) Cook more meals at home (12:28) Spend more time outside (14:09) Limit your screen time (15:25) Meditation (16:01) Eat less convenience food (16:51) Grocery shop regularly (17:48) Use healthier household products (19:12) Eat more produce (20:03) Drink less alcohol (20:31) Interested in the Phoenix Factor Coaching Program? Connect with me: https://calendly.com/dr-deb/phoenixfactor?month=2021-01 0:00 Hi, everybody, this episode is brought to you by my very own Phoenix Factor coaching program. Look, we are all trying to create that absolute perfect life. Let me show you how to do that for free in my virtual coaching strategy call, you and I are going to spend 20 minutes chatting about your desires where you want to take your business life, your health, and of course, your sex life. And then I’m going to give you tips and ideas and techniques on how to actually get that going for 2020. So you can have that absolutely perfect, amazing life you’re looking for. Now, it’s super simple. All you need to do is click on my calendly link here in the podcast notes. And hop on pick your time, and let’s start creating that amazing life that you’re looking for. 0:59 Welcome to Let’s Talk Wellness Now. I’m your host, Dr. Deb. This is where we talk about everything wellness, and learn to defy aging, and live our lives on our own terms. This is Dr. Deb and this is the let’s talk wellness now podcast where we talk about everything that helps us defy aging, and teaches us to live life on our own terms. 1:25 Well, it is coming to that time, it is time to bring in a brand new year. And it is an exciting time because we are going to look at getting rid of 2020, which I think so many of us are ready to get rid of 2020. This pandemic has created a lot of things for all of us. And we’re ready to open up our hearts, our minds and our souls and bring in an amazing new 2021. So today, I want to look at healthy New Year’s resolutions with you. And actually New Year’s resolutions that we can keep. You know so many times a new year signifies a fresh start for many people. And it seems like setting health goals such as losing weight following a healthier diet and starting an exercise routine are common for us to look at for that new year. You know, health and wellness resolutions can be very highly restrictive, and oftentimes unsustainable for many of many people. And it leads us to break those new year’s resolutions within just a few weeks of actually setting them. And this is why many people make the same New Year’s resolution a year after year after year. And in order for us to be successful with our new year’s resolutions, we actually have to break that cycle and to improve our health and wellness, but also have it be a sustainable life choice that we’ve made. So here are a couple of my top picks for New Year’s resolutions that we can actually keep. 3:12 Number one: eat more whole foods. So instead of saying I’m going to eliminate all these foods that I love that are not healthy for me and go on this really strict diet. I think if we look at it and say I’m going to make a conscious choice to eat more whole foods, that’s a sustainable goal for us. This is the easiest sustainable way for us to improve our overall health by eating more whole foods. So things like fruits, vegetables, nuts, seeds, grains, fish. These are all nutrient dense, good food for us. And did you know research actually shows that whole food based diets significantly reduce your risk for heart disease, lowers your body weight, gives better control over blood sugar, and actually can decrease your risk of certain diseases, especially things like type two diabetes. This is an easy, attainable goal for you, even if you just start by eating vegetables, or adding one serving of your favorite veggie, veggie to your diet every single day. You’ve already succeeded that goal of improving your diet and eating more whole foods. 4:38 Number two: sit less move more. You know what when we’re working from home, I’ve noticed even for myself, I’m more sedentary in the office. I’m getting up and I’m moving and I’m walking back and forth and I’m running errands and talking to people but when I’m working from home, I find myself stuck in my chair for literally eight hours a day, except for if I get up to take a potty break or grab some water. But it’s that simple being of inactivity that causes us to have negative health effects. So we want to get up and move our bodies as much as we can. Making this resolution to sit less is an easy, attainable resolution that you can tailor to your lifestyle. For an example, while we’re all working from home right now, and this requires long periods of time for sitting, set a timer for you to get up and go for a 10 or 15 minute walk, get up and walk five minutes every hour, if you can. You know we have mobile devices, we have handheld devices. So if you can’t get up and move that much because of your job, get a handheld device and get up and walk around, get a headset for yourself, set your desk up to be a standing desk so that you can be more mobile and move and up and down instead of just sitting. 6:06 Number three: cut back on sweetened beverages. Cutting back on sweetened beverages is really a smart idea, considering the sugary drinks are linked to an increased risk of obesity, fatty liver disease, heart disease, insulin resistance, and of course, cavities, right? So I gave up sweetened beverages about five years ago. And I used to say, I’m going to die with them running Coca Cola through my veins, it was my last thing on my health journey that I was going to give up. And it was not going quietly, let me tell you, but I did it. And I’m really grateful for it. And occasionally I’ll have something when I’m out. And it doesn’t have the same distinct taste, it doesn’t have the same feeling that it used to give me you know, I used to love pouring it and listening to the bubbles and the glistening of the the drink. And I mean, it was just all there. It was crazy, right? But we all have that. So go ahead and just, you can get rid of it all together cold turkey, that’s an option. That’s what I did. Or you can gradually minimize your intake to cut that sugary drink habit. So if you’re used to drinking two or three a day, and some people maybe even more than that, get rid of one. If you’re down to only drinking one or two, a really great tip that my dear friend Dr. Kay taught me many years ago was to take your your soda and dump out a shot glass, pour it in a shot glass, and dump that out. And don’t drink that and every day you reduce your drink by the size of a shot glass. So the next day, it’s two shot glasses that get poured out of that. The next day, it’s three shot glasses that get poured out and you get to drink the rest. And that was a really great way for me to look at it is like I’m just drinking less of it and and I’m okay and then you don’t go through the withdrawals. And you don’t go through all of the the emotional and physical things that have you connected to that sweetened beverage with caffeine. 8:16 Number four: get more quality sleep. You know this is on everybody’s radar these days is sleep. But it’s essential for us to get quality sleep, not just length of sleep, sleep. It’s an essential part of our health. Sleep deprivation can lead to serious consequences for people. It can cause you to gain weight, it can have heart disease and depression. And there are so many reasons why people don’t get enough sleep. But it’s important for us to focus on this and create a good lifestyle change. Decreasing screen time before bed is a great way to get you to calm down at night. If you can’t reduce screen time, at least put your blue light on your screen so that it’s not stimulating you, reduce light pollution in your bedroom, I have dark shades, they’re cellular, they are dark, dark. So it doesn’t let any light in. That’s helpful for me. If I travel, I sleep with an eye mask so that I get that same darkness to produce all of that good melatonin that I need in my body. Reduce or cut back your caffeine intake. It’s amazing how many people can drink caffeine right up until the time they go to bed and they fall asleep just fine, while others can’t have caffeine after 10 or 11 o’clock in the morning or two in the afternoon. So really paying attention to that caffeine intake and what that’s doing to your sleep is important because it will change your sleep hygiene. 9:45 Number five: find a physical activity that you enjoy. You know being physically active is so important for us. But you have to really enjoy the activity if you’re pushing yourself to do a workout routine and you hate it. Well, you’re not going to want to continue to do that. You want to find something that you can do that you enjoy. And give yourself a lot of variety. Especially right now with a lot of gym memberships being cancelled, or gyms being closed, we have to find things that we can do in the home. So if you like to walk, take a walk, or a jog, get on your bike, take a ride before it gets dark out, or before you start working. Go swimming, if you can, if there’s a gym open that allows you to swim, that’s a great way of doing it. These are all attainable goals that you can do. There’s a lot of apps these days on our computer or on our phone that we can do I know Fitbit has a great app that links you to different activities and workouts. And most of the gyms are offering some form of virtual workout class, I think that’s a great option too. But give yourself some variety so you don’t get bored. 10:57 Number six: take more me-time and practice self-care. Oh, this is a great one. This is at the top of my list for 2021 is more me time. I never feel like I have enough me-time I feel like my to-do list is always growing. I can’t ever get everything done that I need. It’s just overwhelming. So it’s not selfish time. It’s optimal health and well being time, whether that is going out and getting a massage, or it’s getting your nails done or getting your hair done or taking your favorite yoga class. There are all kinds of different things that we can do that constitute as me time. But remember, it’s me-time so nobody gets to interrupt your me-time. If you’re going to take a hot bath, then close the door, put on your music, maybe light, some candles, whatever you need to do to make it feel good. But then make sure everyone knows that is off-limits. That is your time where you’re nurturing yourself, you know, an extra hour of sleep, sleeping in or maybe even going for a walk in nature, where you can just casually walk where you’re not being rushed and raced. These are all great me-time activities. The last thing that I’m going to tell you about me-time activities, and this would not be LTW Now, if we didn’t talk about sensuality, and Me time, take that time for yourself to be sensual with your partner with yourself to be selfish and get your sensual needs met as well. 12:28 Number seven: cook more meals at home. Well, we’re kind of all stuck in that mode, right now. We’re all cooking meals from home. There’s a few takeout restaurants that are still around and we love to support them and promote them. But cooking from home is always better than eating out because you’re going to cook healthier foods, you’re not going to overeat, it’s better quality, less body fat for you than the meals on the go that you typically do. In fact, there was a study of over 11,000 adults who found that those who ate five or more home-cooked meals per week, were 28% less likely to be overweight compared to those who ate fewer than three home-cooked meals per week. So this can definitely change the way your body composition is. And it can change your health. So start by making one meal a day and then increase your frequency over time until you’re making the majority of your meals and snacks at home. This is also called food prepping. It’s a really great technique that bodybuilders and people that are gym rats do. But you can prepare all of your meals for a week. And you just rotate them and if you don’t want to eat those same things for an entire week. prepare them, freeze them, and each week make a new food prep. So then you have say 10 different things to decide on what you’re going to eat because it’s all fresh in the freezer, and you can just grab it and go and if you’re running late, it doesn’t matter. You’ve got it. 14:09 Alright, Number eight: spend more time outside. You know spending more outdoor time can be healthy by helping you relieve stress, elevate your mood and lower your blood pressure. Making a new year’s resolution to spend more time outside every day is a very easy, sustainable, healthy goal that most of us can benefit from. Regardless of where we live. You can take a walk outside during your lunch break. You can hike on the weekends, you can go camping with friends, or simply soak up the beauty by sitting in your yard or sitting on a park bench and noticing all the beautiful things around you. I don’t always have the opportunity to spend time outside but my office at my house was set up so I could enjoy a very gorgeous setting of woods and nature and I set up birdhouses and feeding centers so that I can watch the birds and I can watch the animals and I get that feeling of being outside while I’m working, even though I’m actually inside. So there are ways that we can spend more time outdoors even if you can’t actually physically get there. 15:25 Number nine: limit your screen time. Many people depend on phones, computers for work and entertainment. However, spending too much time on electronic devices, particularly social media has been linked to depression, anxiety and loneliness. Sitting at a single resolution, setting a resolution to just cut back your me time and spend less time scrolling social media, or less time watching TV or playing computer games can enhance your productivity and boost your mood. 16:01 Number 10: meditation. You know, meditation is something that I’ve been trying to master for years. I’m not a good meditator. I do better with guidance, guided meditation, instead of having to be quiet in my own mind. It’s very hard for me to be quiet in this mind sometimes. So guided meditation actually works much better for me. But there’s a lot of evidence that shows that this promotes mental well being for us. And trying out this practice is perfect New Year’s resolution, because there are many ways that you can meditate. And you can find books and podcasts and apps. And I love some of the guided meditation apps and some of the YouTube videos that are free to watch and check out. So give them a try. Just don’t do them while you’re driving, okay? 16:51 Number 11: rely on less convenience food. So this is an easy goal. When we’re talking about getting rid of all the junk food in our diet in the new year. It’s very hard for us to consider doing that. But if we rely less on convenience, food, so much better. So many people rely on these packaged chips, cookies, frozen dinners, fast foods for a quick snack or even sometimes a meal. But there are ways that you can find to make healthier fast food snacks to be eaten on a regular basis. For example, frequent fast food intake is associated with poor overhaul, diet, quality, obesity, and including risks of heart disease and diabetes. So cut back those consumptions of convenience food for your New Year’s resolution. 17:48 Number 12: grocery shopping regularly Oh, this is a tough one, right? How many of you put off going to the grocery store and sometimes it’ll be three or four weeks and you won’t get there and you’re just grabbing whatever you have in your pantry. Well, this happens quite often. But if you have a well-stocked pantry and fridge, you can prepare healthy home-cooked meals for you and your family. If you’re not going to go grocery shopping on a regular basis now, make it a new year’s resolution to do that. I love this one thing that has come out of 2020 is the ability for us to order our groceries online, pull up, get them, have them put them in your car and you go home it It cuts back on so much time if you’re a busy mom, and looking for ways to reduce grocery shopping or exposure or anything. I’ve done this several times at Costco where I order online and actually they’ll deliver to your house or your office so you don’t even have to get there. It is a great opportunity for us to be able to order groceries online. I know even Amazon has their fresh department now. And you can even order groceries on Amazon so you can shop on a regular basis. You just need to fit it into your schedule. 19:12 Number 13: use healthier household products. You know it’s obvious that what we put in our bodies can have significant impact on our health. But things that we have around us in our environment or products we put on our body they matter to so make a new year’s resolution to purchase more natural health and beauty products, household cleaners, laundry detergents, personal care products, this leaves our environment healthier and you healthier. One of my favorite places to purchase from is growth. And they have a whole list of all organic natural products for cleaning and body products and they deliver to you once a month and you don’t even have to think about it. 20:03 Number 14: add more produce to your diet. So adding more cooked and raw vegetables as well as fruits to your diet can go a long way towards improving your health in the new year. Numerous studies have shown that eating a diet rich in produce helps protect against various illnesses such as diabetes, heart disease, certain cancers and obesity, as well as overall mortality. 20:31 And my last tip for the New Year’s resolution that you can keep, is probably going to be for some of you the hardest…number 15: cut back on alcohol. You know, although alcohol can certainly fit into a healthy diet, too often it can negatively affect your health. What’s more, drinking alcohol frequently may help keep you from reaching your health and wellness goals. If you think cutting back on alcohol may be helpful for you set a reasonable goal to keep yourself on track, such as limiting drinking to the weekend nights or setting a drink limit for the week. If you need a non-alcoholic beverage idea to replace your usual cocktail choice, try fruit-infused sparkling water kombucha, or create one of your own fun mocktails. 21:30 So I hope that these new year’s resolutions are getting you thinking of healthier options that are attainable for you. Although most new year’s resolutions are kept for only a short period, the healthy resolutions that we’ve just talked about are ways to improve your physical and emotional health that can be followed for the rest of your life. Creating a healthier relationship with food and taking better care of your body. And mind can drastically improve your health in various ways. This new year, try out a few of the resolutions that we’ve talked about. And follow them for years to the healthiest and happiest possible you and I’d love to hear what your New Year’s resolutions are, what your goals are. So please leave us a review on let’s talk wellness now podcast wherever you subscriber list from iTunes or Google Play. And share with us reach out and tell us what you’re working on. And what you think is going to be a struggle for your New Year’s resolution because we would love to bring in guest speakers to help you be successful on your New Year’s resolutions for 2021. This has been Dr. Deb, your host at Let’s Talk Wellness Now. Until next time, live every day to the fullest. 22:58 Hey, it has been really great sharing this time with you guys on the let’s talk wellness now podcast. If this episode has helped you or you feel as though this episode would help someone else we’d love for you to leave us a review, share this podcast and if you don’t want to miss the most exciting episodes we have coming. We’d love for you to subscribe to our podcast on iTunes or Google Play. Until next time, live every day to the fullest  
18 minutes | a month ago
Episode 94: When Do You Need a Functional Medicine Provider?
Is a functional medicine doctor better than “normal” doctors? Dr. Muth shares what a functional medicine practitioner is and when and how they should be used. Do not miss these highlights: [1:34] Learning to tune into your body with Functional Medicine [2:10] Functional Medicine may help you seek answers when traditional medicine doesn’t seem to provide enough of an answer {3:51] Alternative treatments to depression or anxiety when they are caused by inflammation or nutrition [5:03 – 15:16] Strategies you can use for self-care and feel better including elimination diet, meditation, sleep and exercise [15:18] Why you would access a Functional Medicine Provider Interested in the Phoenix Factor Coaching Program? Connect with me: https://calendly.com/dr-deb/phoenixfactor Transcription of Episode #94: “When do you need a functional medicine provider?” Hi, everybody, this episode is brought to you by my very own Phoenix Factor coaching program. Look, we are all trying to create that absolute perfect life. Let me show you how to do that for free in my virtual coaching strategy call, you and I are going to spend 20 minutes chatting about your desires where you want to take your business life, your health, and of course, your sex life. And then I’m going to give you tips and ideas and techniques on how to actually get that going for 2020. So you can have that absolutely perfect, amazing life you’re looking for. Now, it’s super simple. All you need to do is click on my calendly link here in the podcast notes. And hop on pick your time, and let’s start creating that amazing life that you’re looking for. 0:58 Welcome to Let’s Talk Wellness Now. I’m your host, Dr. Deb. This is where we talk about everything wellness, and learn to defy aging, and live our lives on our own terms.You are listening to Let’s Talk Wellness Now podcast and I’m your host, Dr. Deb. Today I want to talk to you about functional medicine. You know, functional medicine isn’t a replacement for your family doctor, but rather something that adds to your overall health. It helps you improve upon issues and start reclaiming your health by learning how to tune into your body. Ask yourself the right questions. Don’t ditch your physical exams. You know, typically functional medicine practitioners don’t act as somebody’s primary care physician. And they don’t do the typical physical exam that you’re used to having. That’s not their role in your healthcare, their role in your healthcare is to be a specialist for you. Their role is to think outside the box and give you things that you can’t get from the traditional health care system. You know, for people as we’re aging, and who have autoimmune diseases, or have inflammatory flare ups, digestive issues, hormonal issues, chronic health issues, like chronic symptoms that nobody can explain for you. Chronic side effects of things that nobody can tell you why you eat a certain food and why you feel a certain way. You’ve had all your traditional exams, and you’re still constipated, you’re still bloated, you still have diarrhea, you still have fatigue, or anxiety or depression. And you don’t know why or where these things are coming from. And your family doctor is telling you the only thing you need honey is an antidepressant and everything will be fine. That’s what you need a functional medicine provider for those are the things that a functional medicine provider can help you with. Or if you’re looking to defy aging, and live an anti-aging lifestyle , where you’re looking, feeling and acting 20 years younger than you are because you feel amazing, and you look amazing. That’s what a functional medicine provider is for. Because we finally get to the root of what’s causing your symptoms, which is ultimately an inflammatory response. But we look for the problem, look for the cause. We don’t look for the symptom, we don’t look for which drug that we can pair up to what symptom you have, we look for the root cause. 3:51 Now, for those of you who suffer from depression and anxiety, it’s the leading cause of disabilities in the US. And yes, inflammation could be a possibility for this. But it could also be simply a nutritional issue where you’re not absorbing enough proteins from your or not absorbing enough amino acids from your proteins. And therefore you’re being depleted and your neurotransmitters aren’t being made to the degree that they should be. It could be a food sensitivity, it could be a chronic illness or a chronic chronic infection, like epstein barr virus, or Lyme disease or a herpes family virus. It’s amazing what these things can do to your body. It’s amazing on how you can feel with some of these things. So it’s a really good reason for us to look at why we want to reduce inflammation, because we don’t want to trigger an inflammatory response in the body and create an autoimmune condition. We don’t want to create any conditions. So the more we can keep that inflammatory response under control, the more we can prevent how related illnesses as we age. 5:03 And I think it’s okay for us to look at these health related issues and try to figure out how to address them. Because there’s so much of what we can do from eating and sleeping, and taking supplements to give you an opportunity to be super wealthy and super healthy at the same time. Now, if you’re feeling this way, here are some tips that you can do to start feeling better, you can try what we call an elimination diet, to get to the root of which foods make you feel bad, you focus on nutrient dense foods, healing foods, and then-so you’re going to eliminate all the junk, get rid of all the processed foods, you want to stick with Whole Foods, and preferably if you can, organic, because that takes the mystery out of whether or not there’s chemicals on your food that are making you sick, or is it actually the food that’s making you sick. Once you start with basic foods, you want to reintroduce foods one at a time and find those culprits that make you feel poorly, that give you joint pain, or muscle pain, or brain fog, or constipation or diarrhea, or depression and anxiety. You know, a lot of times foods are the culprit for an inflammatory response, especially in making our bodies hurt more arthritic symptoms, brain fog and fatigue. Foods can be a big part of that. So just because somebody says You shouldn’t have to eliminate a food, don’t listen to that. Don’t be normal, be you. You know, everybody can tell us you’re not living life if you don’t have that Coke, or you don’t have that ice cream, or you don’t have that cake, but you know what they don’t live in your body. And if your body says, I don’t feel well, when I have that cake, I don’t feel well, when I have that nut or that meat or whatever it is. Don’t do it, it’s not worth you’re feeling poor, to make somebody else feel comfortable with how you’re eating. It doesn’t matter, it only matters how you feel. So in general, you know, foods are a big problem for us. Sugars, grains, canola, soy beans, all of these things can cause problems for us. Life, healthy lifestyle habits are hard to do. They’re hard to change. And that’s why every year at New Year’s, we create a new New Year’s resolution, right? We vow that we’re going to give up sugar or we’re going to give up alcohol or we’re going to start exercising more, and you’re going to eat healthier, you’re going to have more salads, you’re going to have more this, it is difficult. And many times we fall off the wagon, and many times we have to get back up again. And that’s totally fine. Do it as many times as you have to. But start simple. Don’t go all in, you know, don’t throw everything out in your pantry, make one change at a time and get successful with that change. And then once you’ve gotten successful with that change, then you can make the next change and the next change and so forth, and you can continue to move on. But if you try to do everything at one time, it’s just so overwhelming, that you tend to fail. And then you give in. And once you give in, then it’s all hell down, right? And so don’t do that, just go a little bit at a time. And that little bit at a time aspect is going to help you really build to be successful, and build to be strong in what you’re doing. 8:56 You know, once you’ve got your foods under control, then let’s start looking at other things like maybe relaxation and meditation and stress reduction, right. So as I’m recording this podcast for you guys, today, I have the opportunity to be looking out of my office window. And I hung a bird feeder there during the summer, because I love watching the birds and if I have to work I want to see something really fun. And I want to see something really beautiful. And today as I’m recording this podcast, there’s a beautiful male Cardinal sitting out here on my feeder and I’m getting a chance to just enjoy watching them fly around and sit and relax. And it reminds me to think that that’s how we’re meant to be. We’re meant to sit back relax, take a step. Not be rushing all the time not be going and doing all the time. We need time to connect with nature, connect with ourselves, connect with our partners. You know, we’re really meant to be somebody who is not always on the go. So you know, one of the things that you want to do is do that mindful activity where you de stress yourself, do those things that give you pleasure, whatever that is, you know, for some of you, it may be exercise. For others, it may be reading a book, for some of you, it may be travel, do whatever it is that makes you unwind from the craziness of the world that we have. 10:40 So, another tip for you for self care, is sleep. You know, sleep is so incredibly important and we’ve done episodes full episodes on sleep before. And if there was one anti aging hack that I would give you, it’s around sleep. And if you can get good quality, sleep and rejuvenatory sleep, and you need seven to eight hours of sleep, I don’t care if you tell me that you can run on four to five hours. And you’ve always been that way. It’s not healthy people, it’s really not. And I used to be one of those people who prided themselves on running on six hours of sleep and could burn the candle at both ends. But let me tell you, it catches up with you. It comes upon you very quickly. And you don’t realize it until your body talks loud enough that something’s not working for you anymore. And guess what, it never did work for you. We just tried to convince ourselves that it worked, but it never did. So really get some healthy good sleep. One of the things that I’m playing with right now is a menopausal nighttime patch from patch MD. And I want to see if the ingredients in there can help me stay asleep longer, get deeper restorative sleep. And if I don’t have as many hot flashes at night when I’m sleeping. And so far day one, I slept like a baby last night. And I’m always looking for things that will help me sleep. Many of you have heard me talk about human growth hormone from Soma Derm. Before that is a beautiful thing to help you sleep. It’s a great anti aging tool. It’s one of my favorite hacks that I do. But I’m always looking for new things, I’m always willing to try new things. So I will keep you posted on the patch MD thing. And let you know what I think of that patch and some of their other nutrient patches and see how absorption goes, you know, the less we can put inside sometimes the better it is a lot of my clients say I can’t take another pill, don’t give me another pill. So we’re looking for different ways that we can absorb nutrients, and we can absorb vitamins and get what we need without having to pop another pill. 12:58 So I want to talk a little bit too about exercise because it’s so important for us and the New Year is coming. And a lot of you are getting ready to talk about your plan for the new year. And what are you going to focus on in 2021. And we all hope and pray that 2021 is better than 2020, because it’s been a crazy ride for a lot of us. And the only way it’s going to be better is if we make it better, right? If we make choices that are best for us, and we do things that help us get better and get healthy and get strong. And exercise as a part of that. It’s a great stress reduction, reduction, reduction. Sorry, it’s great for stress reduction. It’s great for clearing our minds, it’s great for a way to maintain our weight. And everybody needs to be physically active. The more physical we are, the better we are. Now I’m not saying go out and run a five k if you haven’t been working out. You know, I’m a big fan of yoga, I love yoga, I think it’s one of the best things that we can do. Stretching and relaxation and deep breathing. It is one of my favorite things to do. Although I don’t do it as often as I used to. It is on my list for 2021 to add back into my general exercise plan so that I can be more flexible in 2021. In not doing it for the last year, I’ve realized that my flexibility has really declined. And I don’t like that I want to be flexible and as as flexible as I can for as long as I can. So that’s a really important thing. With COVID happening and gyms shut down and not having the ability to exercise the way we did before, we’re going to need to get creative. We’re going to need to find ways that we can do exercise differently than we’ve done before. But in all in all, I think it’s a fantastic way for us to look at how do we stay healthy longer, you know, get with nature, take a walk, walk your dog do all these wonderful things that keep us healthy and strong. And that is a great tool. 15:18 Now I want to just briefly talk about how to use your functional medicine provider because we talked about what to use them for. But let’s talk about why you would use them. You want to use them, when your other practitioners cannot find anything else wrong with you and you have symptoms, you want to use them when you want to do anti aging hacks. You want to use them when you have an autoimmune disorder, because we’re going to look at that differently than your traditional doctor does. And you want to use them when you want to protect your DNA. So we haven’t talked on this podcast about genetics. But we have talked on another podcast with Dr. Ashley about genetics. And you should tune into that whole episode if you’re interested in learning how to hack your genetics, because this is a way that’s going to keep you younger longer, and keep you stronger. So I hope you guys have enjoyed us talking about how and when to use your functional medicine provider. And share this episode with people that you know need a functional medicine practitioner or need to understand why you want a functional medicine practitioner on your team. And share this with people who are thinking about changing their lifestyle for 2021 because it’s going to be a great time for them to start looking at things and implementing new hacks into their 2020 lifestyle. 16:51 Hey it has been really great sharing this time with you guys on the Let’s Talk Wellness Now podcast. If this episode has helped you or you feel as though this episode would help someone else we’d love for you to leave us a review, share this podcast and if you don’t want to miss the most exciting episodes we have coming. We’d love for you to subscribe to our podcast on iTunes or Google Play. Until next time, live every day to the fullest.
16 minutes | a month ago
Episode 93: No Regrets
No regrets living! Dr. Deb shares her concept of living a life with no regrets! How to be happy and healthy living this way. Do not miss these highlights: [1:43] Dealing with the loss of her best friend [5:15] Discovering the regrets Dr. Deb had about how she was living her life [7:44] The beginning journey of some personal realizations [10:42] Live your life so you do not have to say “would have’ and “should have” later in life Interested in the Phoenix Factor Coaching Program? Connect with me: https://calendly.com/dr-deb/phoenixfactor   Transcription notes for Episode 93 – No Regrets.Hi, everybody, this episode is brought to you by my very own Phoenix Factor coaching program. Look, we are all trying to create that absolute perfect life. Let me show you how to do that for free in my virtual coaching strategy call. You and I are going to spend 20 minutes chatting about your desires where you want to take your business life, your health, and of course, your sex life. And then I’m going to give you tips and ideas and techniques on how to actually get that going for 2020 so you can have that absolutely perfect, amazing life you’re looking for. Now, it’s super simple. All you need to do is click on my calendly link here in the podcast notes and hop on pick your time and let’s start creating that amazing life that you’re looking for.   [0:58] Welcome to Let’s Talk Wellness Now, I’m your host, Dr. Deb. This is where we talk about everything wellness, and learn to defy aging, and live our lives on our own terms. So you’re listening to the Let’s Talk Wellness Now Podcast where we talk about everything wellness. So I’m sitting here getting ready to talk to you guys about an episode that is near and dear to my heart that I didn’t think I would ever talk about. But I’m finding myself compelled to have a conversation with you about no regrets living. So, in 2020, just a day or two before Memorial Day, I lost my best friend to an aggressive ovarian cancer. Now my best friend and I didn’t become best friends until we were older. Later in life. We were colleagues. I was her mentor. And she and I just really hit it off. Dr. Jan and I spoke pretty much every day for 17 years. Now that’s a friendship. That’s a true friendship. Now she lived here in the same state as I did for a while. And then she decided to move back to Oregon, where she went to school and she felt like she fit in and loved it. And I was heartbroken to see her leave. But we made a pact with one another that we would stay best friends even though she was going so far away. So we did that by talking on the phone and connecting at conferences. And she and I would plan out our year and say, Okay, we’re going here and I’m going there. And can you come and meet me here. And we would see each other a couple of times a year. And it wasn’t the ideal friendship, like you have when you can sit over coffee with a friend and you can go shopping. But it was the best friendship that I’ve had as an adult woman outside of my husband. So to find out that she had a rare aggressive form of cancer, with only 10% chance of surviving a year nonetheless, was heartbreaking, was totally devastating for me. Because I knew at that moment, I was about to lose my best friend. And I’m not someone that has a lot of female friends in my life. I never have I’ve always had more male friends than female friends. So to cultivate a female relationship with someone when you’re in your 30s and you’re not used to having female relationships is a little bit of a challenge for sure. But we did it. And it was an amazing friendship and an amazing relationship that I had with someone that I could talk about medicine. I could talk about family, I could talk about my kids, we could talk business together. And it was someone that I trusted and someone that I respected her opinion. Many times I’d go to her with decisions to be made on my business. And because we both were in the same field, she could understand the stressors that I was having with making those business choices, and she could walk me through them.  [4:51] The day I found out that I lost Dr. Jan I cried like a child unlike anything I have done in probably over 15 years. The last time I remember crying that hard, was when my dad passed away. And she was there for me. And what I realized when I lost her was how I was choosing to live my life. I was choosing to live my life by sticking my head in my business, creating more businesses, creating constant chaos in my life so that I didn’t have to face a day, or live my life with any regrets. But the regret that I was having after she had gone was the fact that I wasn’t spending enough time with my family, or creating new friendships, I was basically living my life for my business, creating businesses, so that I didn’t have to get close to people, I didn’t have to make time for people. I could just really work and I could hide away inside that work environment. And there was plenty of excuses for me to say, I can’t attend this, I can’t go to that I can’t make new friends, because-… But what I recognized was those were really all just excuses for me, so that I didn’t have to get close to people again, so I didn’t have to worry about getting hurt again. So I didn’t have to be in that awkward situation of trying to create a friendship. And I realized this shortly after she was diagnosed with cancer, and I knew I was going to lose her. And I knew I had to go out and try to make some new friends and make some new colleagues and find my team of people that I could surround myself with, that I could potentially develop a relationship with. And although it would never be like the relationship that Dr. Jan and I had, it was a relationship that would help me move on from losing my best friend.  [7:18]  And in doing that, it’s interesting what you learn about yourself. Because at that moment of going out and having to make these friendships and talk to people and be something that I’m not, or pretend I’m someone that I’m not, was so difficult, that I questioned whether or not I was actually an introvert, or was a really as outgoing as I thought I was. [7:44] And I thought back to some times with my family, even my cousins who I hadn’t seen in 10 years, and how awkward it felt to talk to them and how awkward it felt to get into conversations. And I didn’t know what to say. And I started to realize that I’m probably more of an introvert than I think I am. At least when it comes to relationships, and comes to things that are outside of my business comfort zone. If I could talk business, I’d have no problem. If I could talk healthcare conversations, I had no problem. But if I had to talk about life, or talk about something meaningful, that didn’t have anything to do with how their business, I was lost, I did not know how to have that conversation. I didn’t know what to talk about. Because I didn’t have anything else to talk about. My life was totally surrounded by what I did. That’s how it identified myself was by being a health care practitioner and a business owner. And everything else just fell to the side. There was no Dr. Deb. There was no Deb outside of Dr. Deb. There was just Dr. Deb. In opening this up to me and realizing what had happened. I think for the first time in a very long time I was getting in touch with me. And I had done so many courses to get in touch with myself over the last 10 years. But this was the time that I truly got in touch with me.  [9:17] And it’s a little scary I have to tell you, when you get in touch with yourself, and you have to sit alone with yourself in your own thoughts for a while and you’re not planning something, you’re not creating something you’re not doing anything. You’re just sitting there with your own thoughts. Boy, your brain goes to a crazy place. And mine did too. And it left me sitting there going, what if everyone in my life disappeared? Who would I be? What would I do? How would I survive? It’s not until you’re in those moments, that you’re deep in thought that these things come up.  [10:01] Fast forward to now it’s, you know, 2020 and we’re in the midst of COVID, and everybody is left alone with their thoughts, because what else is there to do, you can only binge watch Netflix for so long. You could only binge watch Hulu for so long. And everything is different. You don’t have your family, you don’t have your friends around like you normally do. And so when you’re in that moment of dissent of your thoughts, and you’re not sure where they’re going, and you’re not sure what to do with them, hey, do this. [10:42]  Don’t regret your life. Don’t regret what you didn’t do. Don’t regret what you did do. Life is about living no regrets completely 100% living your life for you, living your life for what you want. Living your life for how you define your life, not how other people to find your life, not what other people see of you, not what other people think of you. It’s all about you. Because the last thing you want to do, trust me, is be laying on your deathbed going, I wish I would have, I should have, I could have. Because for some of us, that last moment is going to come sooner than later. And regret? It’s nothing we can’t regret our lives. We’re going to look back on this 2020. And we’re going to have regrets. There’s no doubt there’s things that we did wrong in addressing this COVID virus. And we can’t fix that. But we can fix going forward and live our lives to the fullest potential 100% no questions asked, living your life for you.  [11:58] So I want to ask you, what is your life of no regret look like? Does it mean traveling? Does it mean leaving a job of 20 years and starting over? Does it mean starting a relationship or ending a relationship? What does living that life of no regret truly mean for you? For me, it means scaling back, which is the hardest thing in the world for me to say. Because I love scaling businesses, I love creating stuff. I love having the accomplishment of being able to take something from nothing and make it into something. But I also recognized in doing that, where I let people down. And so now I live no regretful life. I hire people to help me where I can. I don’t do things I don’t want to anymore. I make a point of spending time with my husband on a date night every week, I make a point of talking to him about things that matter. I make a point of not getting upset about things that don’t make a hill of beans of difference to anybody else. I make a point of letting people know that I’m not in the business of listening to you complain and whine if you don’t want to fix it. If you just need somebody to vent to, I’ll listen for five minutes after that you got to go find somebody else because I don’t want to deal with it. Because I am not living my life getting upset over somebody else’s garbage. [13:35]  I’m no longer feeling guilty about not having a relationship with my sister of 30 years. I’m no longer feeling guilty about not doing everything for everybody else, and nothing for myself. I’ve created my bucket list. And I’ve shared it with people that matter to me. And they know what’s on my bucket list. They know what I want to accomplish. For whatever days I have left here on this beautiful planet we call earth. And they can either help me accomplish what’s on my bucket list, or they can get the hell out of my way. Because I’m accomplishing these things, whether somebody likes it or not. I am living my life on my terms and no one else’s.  [14:21] I’d love to hear if you’re living your life on your terms and no one else’s. And if you’re struggling to live your life on your terms, let’s fix that. Let’s make that better. Because as productive women that are busy 24/seven, you only have the time that you have left for you and you need to make it count. So make it right, live with no regrets and make your life the miraculous thing that it truly is- a gift.  [14:57 ] You’ve been listening to let’s talk wellness. Now podcast. An unusual episode for me to deliver to you today. But I think one that is just so extremely important for all of us to take a look at. If this episode can help someone, please share it. If you found something in this profound or something that made you think differently, please leave us a review. Even if it’s a review that this podcast is totally outside what you’ve come here to listen to I’m okay with that, too. This has been your host, Dr. Deb. Live your life with no regrets.  [15:33]  Hey, it has been really great sharing this time with you guys on the let’s talk wellness now podcast. If this episode has helped you or you feel as though this episode would help someone else we’d love for you to leave us a review. Share this podcast and if you don’t want to miss the most exciting episodes we have coming. We’d love for you to subscribe to our podcast on iTunes or Google Play. Until next time, live every day to the fullest.
41 minutes | a month ago
Episode 92: Music saved Maxx’s life!
After being abused as a child Maxx used music to heal her trauma and shares what she did to heal this betrayal and forgive the abuser. Do not miss these highlights: [3:06] Surviving abuse by her father and his family [5:01] Music was her place of solace and became the source for her therapy to find relief [9:26] Realizing the positive impact her music had on people [14:34] Finding acceptance in self-love rather than seeking it in others [22:44] The path to forgiveness of her father [29:38] Advice for other who may be suffering from trauma About Our Guest: Maxx Nies MUSIC SAVED MY LIFE… In 2018, I picked up a pen and began writing songs to heal from the sexual, emotional, and verbal abuse I suffered. My first single “No Good At Love”, from my album titled “Daddy’s Issues”, is about how I never felt clean enough to love myself or others. I took many showers a day trying to wash off the feeling of being dirty brought on by guilt and shame. Through writing this title track, I was able to heal quickly. As I began to write more and more songs, I was able to navigate through the pain, hurt, and disorders. With a heart full of gratitude, I am 20 years old I am finally medication free. I am a singer, songwriter, survivor, and thriver with a heart to help others heal through my music Social Media & Website:https://www.itsmaxxmusic.com/https://www.instagram.com/maxx.nies/https://www.facebook.com/Maxx.nieshttps://www.youtube.com/channel/UCtlLQORI0f5OMmI7VTUWmCQ?view_as=subscriber Transcription for Episode #92: Music Saved Maxx’s Life Dr. Debra Muth  0:00   Welcome to Let’s Talk Wellness Now. I’m your host, Dr. Deb. This is where we talk about everything wellness, and learn to defy aging, and live our lives on our own terms. I can’t wait for you guys to hear this interview with Maxx Nies. What an inspiring young woman, just an amazing person doing some awesome things in the world. Here she is going to share with her with us her life story. And her single “No Good At Love”. She is truly a blessing to all of us where she’s going to talk to us about how music saved her life. And how in 2018 she just picked up a pen began writing songs about things she was suffering about. And her first single “No Good At Love”. Felt clean enough to love herself and others. So I don’t want to get make you wait any longer to hear this interview with Maxx Nies.  Hey, everybody, it’s Dr. Deb from Let’s Talk Wellness Now. And I am just so honored to have with me today, my guest Maxx Nies. She is an incredible woman, a great musician. And she has such a wonderful, inspiring story to share with us today that I think you guys are going to get so much value out of. And I can’t wait for this conversation to start. So welcome to the show, Maxx. How are you today?  Maxx Nies  2:39   Hi, thank you so much for having me. I’m doing good. How are you? Dr. Debra Muth  2:43   I’m doing great. Thanks. So you have a very interesting story somewhat diverse. Tell us a little bit about your story. And, and how it differs from other people’s stories like you have an amazing story about music and trauma and tell us how that got started for you. Maxx Nies  3:06   Yes. So when I was little, I was in an abusive situation with my father and his family and just at his house, it was just not good what was going on there. And around the age of nine years old, I started speaking about it. And I didn’t even really realize what I was doing when I started talking about it. I was just my physical body and emotional, my emotions and my body was just like, they were going crazy at the age of nine. And I went into like, a really bad depression and anxiety started taking over my life. And I didn’t even really understand why because no one wasn’t able to really see that I was in an abusive situation because it’s all I really knew. So I started talking about it. People, including my therapist at the time, was saying like, well, this is not okay, we have to get you out of this situation. And eventually she did remove me from that situation. She informed my mom on what was going on. I was taken out of that situation. So after that it was just like dealing with the result of realizing what had happened to me. And the abusive situation I was in and all like all of these coping mechanisms came in and they were all unhealthy. I had eating issues, I had awful anxiety and depression. I had suicidal thoughts. I was just like, going down a very dark hole very fast. And, I actually before music was even like a thing for me, I mean, Music has always been part of my life. Like when I was really, really little, I was singing around the house and performing around the house as much as I possibly could. And, but I felt I fell in love with horses when I was like, six or seven years old. And that was really like what my safety net was, when I came out of that abusive situation. It was really like the only place where I could find my happiness and peace and like, I was able to be present and content for a minute when I was with them. But then eventually that got tiring, and I just kind of grew out of the horses and I was like, I kind of feel like I need to go back to music. Like it’s it was just kind of calling me in a way and my mom was like, you’re never consistent with your lessons. Like, I’m not signing you up again. Like, if you’re gonna really be into music, I’m not doing horseback riding thing, like, you have to pick one or the other. And I was like, Okay, I’m gonna go for it and try this out. And she was like, okay, and I really did like, I guess it was just the right time for me to get back into music. But I started my singing lessons. Again, I started dancing, I, I started working with my producer. And it was just like, addicting after working with him. Like I was just making song after song after song. And the studio became my safe and happy place. And then I was able to do it on my own and start writing on my own and bringing stuff into the studio that I created from just being alone. And through that I discovered that writing and singing about my traumas, and my feelings, whether it’s good or bad is such a good therapy and such a crazy relief, especially for when I was going through all of that. And yeah, so not all of my songs are about my trauma, but a lot of them are. And yeah, it’s just kind of unfolded this story that I went through. Dr. Debra Muth  7:12   That’s such an amazing story. And yet, we’ve had other guests on that have talked about how therapeutic music is, and how it can make us feel happier, make us feel sad, or retrigger, a memory that was lost in our subconscious. And we may not be able to make the connection of how that fits. But music has been around for centuries. And it is so therapeutic. And sometimes we don’t think about all of what listening to somebody’s story in, in a musical song actually can do for us. So out of your trauma, what’s one of the biggest takeaways that you’ve, you’ve gotten out of it? Because you’ve turned a negative situation into somewhat of a positive situation, and you’ve made it work for you. How do you do stuff like that? Maxx Nies  8:06   Yeah, that’s pretty much like what I feel like I have gotten out of like, learning how powerful I am and how capable I am because I could let this trauma ruin my life. I could surrender to it and I could be a miserable victim for the rest of my life. But I don’t. And I was living that way for a long time. And it got tiring and, and it got lonely. And I, I’ve just learned that I’m so much more than that. I’m so much more than crying about being hurt. And I didn’t want to be in that negativity anymore. So I yeah, like writing, writing the music and making like, I love music so much and making connecting my trauma and my music really was like an eye opener for me like, wow, I can make this very dark situation. So light, and so make me feel so good. And this was what was making me feel so bad. It was just like such a crazy, like, mind blown moment of like, Wow, I can’t believe I just did that. Dr. Debra Muth  9:20   Did you ever think your music was going to have the impact that it does on other people? Maxx Nies  9:28    I definitely hoped for it. But then once I started getting like, the DMs and calls and texts and stuff, even from people that I don’t even personally know. That’s when it was like, oh, wow, this is this is really really cool. Like, I definitely thought about it, but I didn’t know I didn’t think it was actually going to be that powerful and make that much impact. Dr. Debra Muth  9:52   I think so many times when we’re traumatized and we hold that trauma in we don’t realize there are so many other people that are in the same situation as we are, we don’t, we don’t think other people are being traumatized the way we were or worse than we were. And so you feel so alone. And I would imagine, once you started getting your music out, and people started reaching out to you, you didn’t feel quite so alone anymore about like, you’re the only person this happened to. And now you have a community of people that have had shared similar traumas as yours. Maxx Nies  10:31   And that’s so important. Like, I remember the first person I met, that said, Yeah, I went through that, too. And the feeling that I was in such a low broken place, and that’s why I ended up meeting her because my, I think it was either my mom or my uncle was like, you have to talk to this woman, she went through very similar things that you did. And I think it would be helpful. And at first, I was kind of resistant to it. And I was like, I don’t want to hear about her experience, like, so depressing. It’s so sad, like, I don’t want to talk about it. And when I finally did, it was like, Oh, my God, my life makes sense. Like, I’m not this crazy person like that, when, when this happens to people, they react a certain way, you know, like, it’s not that I’m crazy, or that I have lost my mind, or all the things that my dad told me. It, it’s just a natural reaction. And then I started being more open, because she inspired me to be more open about it. And it was almost like, seeing and hearing her speak about her abuse the way she did. And they see that it, it’s not like it doesn’t have to have all this power over you. And she kind of like switched my head from being such a [victim] of the abuse and taking my power back. And once I really felt that inside of me, I was able to start sharing more with people. And that just it, the more I share my story, I feel like the less power [it has] over me, you know, so it’s really cool, being able to express myself and open up about things like this and find who relates and sometimes people don’t relate on the exact same level. But most people can relate to an extent.  Dr. Debra Muth  12:30   That is such a great story. Because, you know, I think it’s true, like one person can change your entire life, your entire outlook on how a traumatic event took place, and what it was doing to you. And that one person can also free you from that trauma by just giving you the honor, the permission, the safety place, for you to be able to be raw and honest and you. And that makes a huge difference for people. Maxx Nies  13:05   Yeah, and like, that’s why I want to put my music out there so much. I don’t want people to feel alone. I want to open that world up for people where they feel like they have someone to talk to and they’re not alone. And they they’re not crazy for experiencing their feelings. And it’s all okay, like, that’s, that’s the point I want to get across. It’s not like, Listen to me, for me, that’s not at all how I’m trying to get my music and my story across. It’s like, I want to say, hey, look, this happened to me. If this happened to you, too, we’re in the same boat, and let’s be friends, you know, like, go through this together, I’m here for you, you be here for me, let’s support each other. So that’s… Dr. Debra Muth  13:54   And you know, that’s a really healthy way of dealing with it. Because I think so many times, when we’re betrayed, and we’re hurts, it’s so easy for us to stuff our feelings. And when we they’re going to come out eventually, you know, you can stuff them for so long, but they’re gonna show up somewhere in your life. And typically, they show up in not such a great way, you know. Some kind of addiction or some kind of unhealthy behavior that we have. And it’s really learning to get over that betrayal and how to love yourself again. Maxx Nies  14:34   And that’s been like the topic of my life for the past like three years, like learning how to love myself because I really feel like in my childhood that was not even stripped away from me, but it was taught to me in a very unhealthy way. And, or maybe it wasn’t even taught to me self love. Definitely growing up, I was learning for my Dad to be abusive towards myself, and then when I stopped seeing him and he was not abusing it, I started abusing myself even more, the way- because his wasn’t there. And still to this day, like I even had to talk with my uncle about it. Yeah, I have to, like, on train my head to think about to think and feel certain things. Because it’s, I don’t have to be in that mindset anymore of like safety, protection and constantly having this guard up. And especially like with my relationships with boys right now, like 20 years old, and like dating in LA is not easy already. But right at all of your emotional and childhood trauma and baggage that you’ve got going on. It’s definitely not easy. So yeah, I’m still like, trying to strip away all of those, those ideas and thoughts that my dad put on me. Dr. Debra Muth  16:09   I think it’s so easy for that, um, I grew up in an alcoholic family, my dad was an alcoholic, and, and you never knew how he was going to come home. He’d either come home, the very happy drunk that would embarrass you in front of your friends. But he was fun. And everyone thought he was great. Or he’d come home that miserable, life sucks, everybody’s horrible and just kind of lash out. And so I to growing up, you know, I grew up as the the fat girl, I wasn’t fat at all. But I still carry that to this day, looking at myself and thinking that I’m obese. And I developed an eating disorder at 16 for the same reason, because it was the one thing that I had control over. And you know, it’s so easy, I think, for us to push those feelings aside and not deal with them. And then they just show up differently. And I did a lot of that too. I just pushed a lot of feelings away and pushed a lot of people away in my life growing up. Because as soon as I felt something that was similar to my dad, I was like, I’m out of there. And and I grew up this, this crazy rebel child. Now granted, that was in the 80s rebel children that were not  like they are now. But you know, and just always wanting to strive to prove him wrong. Everything I did was to prove him wrong. It was never to prove that this was something I could do, or something I wanted to do. It was to prove him wrong. Of all the things he said about me growing up. And it really takes a lot of hard work to get over those kinds of things, because they’re stuck in your subconscious mind whether you think they’re there or not. Maxx Nies  17:56   Yeah, for me, it was like the opposite. I still to this day, like, without even realizing it. I attract people into my life that are like my dad. And I my main goal with this person, and it’s usually a boy that I like to be dating or that even boys that approach me first. It’s like, I somehow attract them, and they remind me of my dad. And all I want to do is have them love and accept me. And I know like I’m at this place now where I know I’m not going to get the love and acceptance that I’m really craving because nothing is going to ever satisfy that unless it’s from my dad, which I’ve come to terms with he’s not giving that to me. Like I have to get to this place where I truly accept that. And I I think I’m always going to have a part of me that really wishes that he loved me and accepted me as I am and treated me well when I was a child but  I’m working every day on to supply enough love within myself so that I don’t feel that emptiness in me that I crave from a male figure in my life. And also trying to like, notice, like and have clarity on. This is a 20 year old teenage boy, he’s not going to give you that same love Dr. Debra Muth  19:31   not capable Maxx Nies  19:33   …was supposed to give you so we have to separate that and not have an emotional attachment to this boy because he’s not your dad. So don’t mad at him like he’s your dad. don’t crave love from him like he’s your dad separate, very separate. I’m just like, now getting to that. Yeah, Dr. Debra Muth  19:52   I remember when I was a I think it was about 21 I had a female friend who was in Her 50s at that time, and, and I think she was probably the first adult person that I shared how my my home life was with my dad. And, and, and I didn’t get any kind of I don’t want to say pity but like, I didn’t get any of this warm and fuzzy like, it’s okay, you should have had it blah, blah, blah. What I got from her was, you know what parenting doesn’t come with a manual, we do the best we can, we’re going to make mistakes, that’s the way it is, you’ve got two choices in this world, you can accept your dad for who he is. And you can love him for who he is. Or you can say, I don’t want a relationship with him at all. And you can move on, but one of the two has to happen, or you’re going to stay in this pity party for the rest of your life. And I remember sitting there looking at her like, what’s the frick just happened. And I was like, Oh my God. And once it sank in with me, and it took several months for that to sink in with me. I realized she was right. I mean, my dad came with all of his own baggage as a child. He was abused by his mom verbally. He was the only boy in his family. He had five sisters, they got all the love and attention, he got nothing. And he truly showed up the best way he knew how he didn’t know how to show up any differently. And he was dealing with his own crap. And there was nothing for him to give to me. And once I accepted that, and I really got that it was like, Okay, I don’t have to like what’s happened, I don’t have to like the childhood that I had. I don’t have to like the fact that he never showed up for any of my school things because he was at the bar and he was too busy. But I can accept the fact that he’s trying to do the best he can. And he just doesn’t know any better. And I was so grateful that I got to that place because my dad died at a really young age, he was only 62 when he died. And so I was able to make amends and have an adult relationship with Him. And it certainly wasn’t a relationship that I had one wanted with my dad. But at least I had a relationship with him that I could could hold on to and say, yeah, this is my dad, I love him. He’s doing the best he can. But I’ll never forget that. And I still to this day, hear her say that to me every once in a while, like we do the best we can. There’s no manual, we all have our own baggage. And I was just blown away by that. Maxx Nies  22:44   It’s actually it’s definitely important, though, to hear that if you don’t already have that in your head, because I actually did something very similar this last summer. My uncle about a year ago started telling me like you have to have forgiveness for your dad and compassion. And also his friend who participated in abuse as well. And I was like, Are you crazy? Like, why would I do that? Like, what is going through your head? Like I was like, No way, no way. I hate them all this anger I had. And then finally, after doing so much like work on myself and healing from my past and all that last August, I when my mom and I went back to visit our family in New Jersey, I decided to go to his house unannounced, and knock on his door after not seeing him for or speaking to him for like, I think 10 years. Um, I I knocked on his door and I told him that I loved him and I forgave him for all that he put me through in my past and I saw like emotion come to his face for like the first time ever. And he wanted he apologized and he wanted to have a relationship going forward. But I just I’m at this place right now where I want to give myself the most love and respect that I possibly can. And I feel like he would interfere. Because I know that he hasn’t changed. Like hit him jumping back into that is going to mess with my healing journey and process. I don’t think it’s the right time to have a relationship with him. But it definitely felt good to close that and end that chapter and tell him like, I’m sorry for what you’ve been through to do these things to me and I now and I love you and I hope that you heal one day as well. Dr. Debra Muth  24:55   Yeah, I think that’s such a huge healing process for you. Because when we hold hate and anger and betterment, we don’t heal inside. And it’s not that you’re condoning anything that happened or anything that he did. It’s it’s not that you’re saying what he did is okay. But it, it allows you to move forward in your healing process by saying, I recognize you had some things going on to. I get it, it’s not right. You know, but I can, I can forgive you and I can move forward. And that’s huge for you and your healing process. Maxx Nies  25:36   It definitely, definitely is a big, big part of it. Dr. Debra Muth  25:39   Yeah. And it’s hard. It’s not simple to do if we had, you know, if you’re listening out there, and you’re thinking, we’re telling you to just wake up one day and forgive somebody who’s betrayed you. That’s not how this works. This, there’s a lot of work that goes around and behind the scenes of learning to forgive someone who’s betrayed you. Maxx Nies  26:00   Yeah, like, even like I said, a year before I did that, I was like, You’re crazy. I will never do that. And a week before I did that I was shaking every single day like it’s not easy thing to do. Whether the reason it’s not easy is because you’re anxious or sad or angry. It all is. It’s hard to deal with for sure. Dr. Debra Muth  26:24   Mm hmm. Absolutely. It is so hard to do this. We had another guest on our show a couple of months ago. Her name is Debi Silber, and she runs the Betrayal Institute, and suffered a betrayal as well as an adult, and threw herself into understanding how people heal from betrayal. And so she did a PhD in behavioral therapy. And her research paper was how do people heal from betrayal because she wanted to heal from this betrayal that happened in her life. And she’s created an amazing program for people, a very safe community of people who’ve been betrayed on all different levels. And it is a safe community where people can talk and help each other out. And she does teachings. And it’s been a really amazing journey to watch people go through her program and listen to her story, because it’s crazy. And the things that we don’t think are betrayals that are that kind of gets stuck in our physical body, even though mentally we just discount it. And you know, something as simple as a colleague using one of your ideas at work, that’s a betrayal. And it’s a betrayal of somebody that you trusted. Maxx Nies  27:47   Every day like, yes, you don’t realize the impact it has on your yourself. Dr. Debra Muth  27:54   Yeah, you know, a lot of times we just blow it off, we get angry, we get upset, and then we blow it off and we move on. But every little piece of that betrayal that happens takes away a piece of who we are. And until we can put ourselves back together and deal with all of those. We’re going to struggle with other things in our life that we may not even realize we’re struggling from as a result. Maxx Nies  28:17   Yeah, Dr. Debra Muth  28:18   So true. So tell me about your plans for the future. You’re so bright, you’re so inspiring. I’m so glad you’re sharing this story. I would love to know what your plans are for the future with what you’re doing. Maxx Nies  28:32   Yeah, so right now the plan is to basically just keep putting music out. Keep writing, keep collaborating with people. Um, I want to be on as many podcasts as possible, I want to be on talk shows I want to be I want to be able to talk about my music and my story and help as many people as I can through that. But I also have this like huge passion to be this pop star. So I, that’s my goal. It’s to grow my fan base and to grow my music, knowledge and abilities and all of that and creativity. And to just keep growing and to get better in every way. Dr. Debra Muth  29:20   That’s awesome. That is so awesome. I love that. You know, if someone’s listening to us, and they’ve have a betrayal, they have a trauma, no matter what the degree is, and they’re suffering and not knowing where to go with that. What advice do you have for them? Maxx Nies  29:38   Um, well, I think finding people that you’re comfortable talking to, is a good first step, but also really like, getting comfortable with yourself is really important. And for me, I started doing I started meditating to get into that and really connecting with myself, I came to this realization one point in my life where I was like, I can’t be alone with myself, and be comfortable without any distractions at all. Like, I realized, like, I was so uncomfortable with myself, I really just hated myself. And so I started to force myself too, as I was doing the work with surrounding self love and going back into my childhood, and like realizing what had happened to me and accepting that I was also sitting with myself and really feeling everything I was feeling and not being judgmental about it. And it’s really hard to do. But if you can connect with yourself and be able to get to a place where you are sitting with yourself, and noticing all of the feelings or feelings and all the thoughts that are going on in your head, without judging that and not being hard on yourself about it, that really helps, it really strengthens, first of all, your intuition. And also just your, for yourself, and it helps you know, yourself. And that with that comes. And it makes you stronger as an individual because you’re capable of doing things on your own. At least this is my own experience. This is what has helped me and this was my process. But I’ve also been in a lot of therapy. And I’ve tried different kinds of therapies, and I’ve done a lot of spiritual work. It all kind of like piles on top of each other to like, create this nice peaceful mind. But yeah, I think [connecting] yourself is a huge, huge thing.  Dr. Debra Muth  31:48   That’s a big thing. We walk around very disconnected, and we’re in the world, disconnected from our feelings different disconnected from our heart disconnected from so much as a means of protecting ourselves. And it’s not easy connecting with yourself. It’s not easy getting in touch with these feelings. It’s hard, it’s painful. But when you can do it, there’s so many wonderful things that come on the backside of it for sure. How would you encourage people that are suffering with trauma? Maxx Nies  32:27   I would say that when I was going through all of my like, really hard times, it’s so little, but it really like made a difference in my mind, I would tell myself, everything is happening for a reason. And I really just had to have this like hope that things were going to get better. Because you would be so surprised like how capable your mind and body really are like you can really do anything like I’m not I don’t, I don’t want to speak for people who are in like, awful, awful situations, I don’t want to speak for like everyone, but to an extent you can really do anything for yourself, if you have the mind and the body and that drive. And what calmed me was the quote, everything happens for a reason, because you realize and sit with, there’s going to be an outcome that makes sense. This is this is a hard time that I’m going through. But I’m going to come out and there’s going to be a look at just being hopeful, I guess. And it’s hard to do, which is why I’m having like a hard time answering this question. Because I’ve definitely had days where I’m just like, it’s done, like, I’m done. trying, I’m done, I’m done, I’m done. And that’s okay, that’s totally fine. But you have to have that strength to push yourself out of it. You have to want it and not to get yourself out of tough situations like that. Dr. Debra Muth  34:12   I think those are great words of encouragement. You know, we talk about this a lot on the show, the universe has a plan for us. It’s not always perfect. Sometimes we have to learn hard lessons, to come out on the other side to be able to do exactly what we’re meant to do. And without those hard lessons, we couldn’t do what we do. And so you got to trust in the universe. You’ve got to trust in your higher power, God, universe, nature, whatever your higher power is for you. You have to trust that there is truly a plan. And that plan is bigger than us and we may not see it. But I think you’re right. If you have faith and you have belief in something bigger, and you know there’s a reason that’s going to come out of this, out of this situation, no matter what it is, you will be better for it or you will make someone’s life better for it because you can be there for them. And I look at you as being you’re being the light to so many other people to be able to share their stories, when in so many instances, people have had to be quiet in these instances. And so thank you for that. Thank you for sharing your stories. And thank you for getting them out there. I think it’s so important.  Maxx Nies  35:34   Well, thank you for giving me the opportunity to Dr. Debra Muth  35:37   Absolutely my dear. You know, anybody who’s listening to us talk about this, I think one important thing that we should talk about is the fact that if you’re being abused, you need to speak up, you need to go to someone that you trust, you need to go and tell someone it’s happening so that you can get some help, don’t be afraid that you’re going to be in trouble, especially as a young person, you were nine that took a lot of power and a lot of courage for you to speak up at nine. Because you’re right at that age, you don’t necessarily know what’s right or wrong.  Maxx Nies  36:14   Definitely, it’s very important to talk about it. Especially, even, definitely tell people about going on, so that you can be in a better situation, hopefully, but also, just like, do not, please don’t bottle it up, like if you are being abused. Or if you just got out of an abusive situation, please speak about it, get it out of you. And like that’s why writing was such a big thing for me, because it was a way of me expressing it and talking to that one woman and relating to her. And like, it’s just so important to get it out of your body, out of your mind out of your body, whether it’s physical or verbal or any way, you just have to release that. That emotion. Dr. Debra Muth  37:03   It is so important. And like you said, it’s so easy to to continue that pattern. Because it’s comfortable. It’s not that it’s right, but it’s comfortable. You know how to deal with it, you’ve dealt with it. So it’s so easy to repeat that pattern as we age and go into different relationships. I did the same thing for a number of years went into relationships of abusive men and verbally were abusive, exactly like my father was. And it took a long time. And, and I took a very long hiatus from dating, I stopped dating for about four and a half years. And everybody questioned like,are you a lesbian, now?Are you this or that? I said, No, I’m just focusing on me. I don’t want to be interrupted, I don’t want anybody in my space. I don’t want anybody disrupting my flow. I need to figure out who I am before I can commit to somebody else in a relationship and have it be healthy. And that’s okay to do that. Maxx Nies  38:00   Oh, that’s, that’s really amazing. Yeah, had the strength to do that. Dr. Debra Muth  38:07   Yeah, it’s hard. You know, and you can have male friends, but it doesn’t, you just don’t want to be in that deep relationship when you’re healing because like you said earlier, you don’t want them to disrupt your flow. And they you don’t want them to disrupt your healing process. And until you’re comfortable enough with your healing process, it’s okay for you to be completely selfish and focus on you. Because that’s what we need to heal to be healthy people going forward. Maxx Nies  38:32   Right? Yeah, that’s very true. Dr. Debra Muth  38:34   so great. This has been such a great conversation. Um, Max, if somebody wants to reach out to you, if they want to hear your music, how do they get in touch with you?  Maxx Nies  38:46   Yeah, so my Instagram is Maxx: M-a-x-x dot nies, n-i-e-s. And then on Facebook, I’m Maxx, m-a-x-x. My YouTube channel is Maxx: m-a-x-x. My song is on Spotify, Spotify, Spotify, Apple Music, amazon music, basically all music platforms. And my artists name is Maxx, m-a-x-x. And yeah, I just put out a music video and a song. And you can find the video on YouTube with the songs everywhere. And I will be releasing next month as well. And I will be teasing everyone about that on my Instagram. And that will be coming this next week. Dr. Debra Muth  39:32   Oh, that is so awesome. I’m so proud of you and so excited for you. For those of you who are listening, driving, don’t worry about writing this down. We’ll have this all in our show notes. You’ll also find it on our Facebook page: Let’s Talk Wellness Now. We will promote Maxx, promote her music. I really want you guys to listen to it. It’s amazing. She’s got great stuff and I think it can really help us all heal during some really crazy times in the world right now too. We need that. So thank you. So So much for being a guest for me today. Maxx Nies  40:02   Thank you, I had a great time. 
38 minutes | 2 months ago
Episode 91: Be Something Wonderful, When You Want to be More.
Tom Kearin shares his story about quantum physics and the universal law of attraction. What are your “aha” moments and where does your inspiration come from? Do not miss these highlights: [2:30] Tom’s journey to spiritual places before he started searching for his inner divinity [7:30] We all are already enlightened; we just need to allow it to be shown [11:32] Focus on the positive outcomes of a situation rather than the negative that is currently happening [19:07] The truth behind the myth of bad things come in threes [22:03] Resources to get you started on your path of spiritual enlightenment About Our Guest: Tom Kearin is a motivational speaker, entrepreneur, and author, and the Founder & CEO of Be Something Wonderful. His business leadership spans a variety of fields including personal and professional development, technology, computer design and manufacturing, accounting and audit, international study abroad and educational travel, and management consulting. Tom spent 12 years dividing his time between the United States and Latin America as a partner and the chief operating officer in an international study abroad and educational travel company. He relocated back to the United States full-time in August 2017 to focus all of his energy on Be Something Wonderful. Tom currently resides in San Diego, California. Social Media & Website:https://TomKearin.comhttps://Facebook.com/BeSomethingWonderfulhttps://Instagram.com/TomKearinhttps://Twitter.com/TomKearinhttps://YouTube.com/c/besomethingwonderful Transcript of “Episode 91: Be Something Wonderful, when you want to be more”. Dr. Debra Muth 0:00 Welcome to Let’s Talk Wellness Now! I’m your host, Dr. Deb. This is where we talk about everything wellness, and learn to defy aging and live our lives on our own terms. What an absolutely gorgeous day today to be talking to my friend Tom Kearin, who is going to talk about universal love universal law of attraction. We’re going to talk about how important it is to be something wonderful. In the midst of so much chaos and tragedy, right and so he’s going to give us some tips today about how we can implement this into our daily lives. So take Stay tuned and listen to our show with Tom. Karen. I am so excited to have Tom Kearin. Did I pronounce that right? Tom Kearin 2:02 Exactly right. Thank you very much! Dr. Debra Muth 2:07 And we’re going to talk about how be something wonderful today you have a great book called “Be Something Wonderful When suddenly you want to be more.” Tell us about -that is a great title to begin with! I love that title. But tell us about how you came up with the title. How did you come up with the idea for the book? Tom Kearin 2:30 Yeah, well, it’s interesting, because if you know my background I’ve been I’ve been in business for a number of years, you know, just being you know, traditional business guy, right? I started out in accounting as a CPA I worked for like, Pete Mollick. Back then it was in 1980s. It was called Pete Bard and Mitchell, it was about the big league, it was about all that stuff, right? And so I kind of just went into it, I didn’t really know back then what I wanted to do. And I found out accounting is a good thing to study. And not definitely not my personality, really. But I did it. And I sort of went up through that traditional thing. I, I went into something entrepreneurial opportunity. I was a CFO, I was a CEO, and then eventually, after, after working on a startup that didn’t quite it didn’t succeed. But the experience was great, and I go, I’m going to take a break. And I went traveled and I was with a good friend of mine who used to travel once a year to some cool place. And he was “Hey, let’s go check out Peru, Machu Picchu? Oh, that sounds great.” I go to spiritual play. So this was back before I really connected with this, if you want to call it inner divinity, our spiritual nature, our divine side, I was still sort of kind of mixed up, you know. And so I went there and I said, You know, I really like this place. And so we left you know, after a couple weeks and I went back and ended up staying there, I worked with a business guy worked on work study travel Institute with him and his wife, very early in the it was very early in the, in the creation of it. So I was sort of like a founding partner or not a founder and worked on that and stayed there. You know, we’re in this new industry. I learned Spanish, all that. But then a few years ago, and this was some years into it. I said, you know, it was just always I had something inside that was kind of gnawing at me to be to do something else, to be something else. I wasn’t sure what it was. And I was up there in my conference room in the upper floor and I’m saying, you know, I really want to do something more. I want to be something wonderful. I know I want to be something and then it was you know, I kind of yelled out to myself, and that’s how it started. And so I created the organization, Be Something Wonderful, you know, got a trademark and then started the book. I know I’m going to get a lot of questions “What is to be something wonderful? I still get those questions, I want to write a book about this transformation, this sort of aha moment that I had. That was I don’t want to battle it out anymore against myself or the world, it should be easier. And this is where I took a deep dive into reading about all those all the spiritual greats out there, right. And really did that for 2000 years, the message has been the same. Love is the message right? From the Bible, from the ancients, from the prophets, it’s that we’re all one that we’re all love, and that we’re all connected. And, and so I took a deep dive into this Read, read a lot, and then put “Be Something Wonderful” together and then put my book together. Even though as I look at my book, I’ve evolved from that, you know, when I read out, but anyway, “Be Something Wonderful” is about that it’s about a god, universal, everyone. Everyone sort of calls it something different, but I have no issues with calling it God, the universe, divinity, whatever it is, that inner being. But that’s what Be Something Wonderful is about, but it’s about really reaching for that, because once you get into that flow, everything in your life starts going better, it starts flowing, even your health,right? Dr. Debra Muth 6:23 That is so true. You know, it’s it’s one of those things I learned about quantum physics quite a few years ago, to about 20 years ago, now I started learning about quantum physics. And when I started learning about it, it was such an eye opening experience, because it was one of those aha moments, like you said, where you just go, Wait a minute, it’s not as complicated as we think it is. It’s so much more simple, because it is truly just about love and peace and, and letting it flow, right. And it always amazed me that people would say, you know, we’re just, we’re spiritual beings having a human connection, you know, like a physical connection. And it took me a long time to get that for a while because I kept feeling like I needed to drive something myself. And then once I got it, it was like, No, I just need to let it flow and not push so hard, right? Tom Kearin 7:17 That’s exit. That’s a beautiful, that is one of the best summaries. That’s exactly it. I think that we, we always think we have to even if you’re you don’t seek enlightenment. It’s just something it’s who you are. We’re all enlightened. We just don’t allow it. You’ve said it exactly. Allow your enlightenment to bubble up. Because it’s not something that you have to I know we talked about reaching enlightenment working on enlightment. But you’re right, you’re the way you put it, it’s really sort of like just, it’s, it’s just allowing,mright? Because we create. You know, a lot of memoirs and stuff that you read every the real ones that people like, are the ones where people are overcoming something that has all this hardship. And I get it, that that’s a beautiful thing to, to, to hear the story of overcoming. But we create, we’ve got to take responsibility that we are our creators, we create our own reality. So we created those to overcome maybe to teach ourselves a lesson, right? But it’s a beautiful thing, if we just allowed more and went with the flow. And, and, and paused and sort of like step back, almost, almost being an observer of your life in a way, at some points, you know, you’ll find that things will flow a lot better, and, you know, allowing that divinity to bubble up. And really, the I talked about this in my book, Part Three is called the Dare to be It code and the code The reason I wrote it was because a lot of the spiritual teachers there’s so many wonderful ones out there, you can either there’s a couple different ends of it. There’s Abraham Hicks, which channels that spiritual group of teachers, Abraham. And then you get Tony Robbins, who’s much more do doing focused. Both of them are spiritual, but one sort of, it’s a little bit different. You know, he taps into it but he’s much more about action where Abraham Hicks is much more about alignment and then being spirit than being spiritually inspired. Both are good. But I think the way I approached it is that it’s inside us I’m you know, you’re not required to to memorize anything or go through certain difficult exercises to get alignment you just got to breathe and feel it and that’s where the Dare To Be It code talks about. So I love the way you said it because allowing is the key word, right? We we create blockages, we create our obstacles, we we create all of that stuff. That’s not natural, because love is the only natural thing, right? It’s the true emotion. Anything that’s not love is the opposite with or some degree of it, right fear or whatever you want to call it. So it’s nice, because once you get in the habit, once you get in the habit of it, you don’t really want to feel, you know, you know it when you’re off when you’re not aligned, right? You start to feel like, oh, wait a minute, what’s going on here? Right? Dr. Debra Muth 10:20 Sure, you know it’s funny. I remember a few years ago, when I really started getting into more of the spiritual Abraham Hicks stuff, I was going through a really difficult time. And I look back now that I know what I know. And it was like, I had to create all these pockets of turmoil in my life, in order for me to get where I am now. But at that time, it was a different place. And I was looking at it and going, why is all this happening to me? What’s going on? You know, my, my practice was falling apart, my partner and I were at odds. And we were not a married partner, we were just a business partner. But we weren’t connecting anymore. And people in my life that I knew for many years, we were just kind of falling to the side, my husband went through a really difficult medical condition. And we ended up in a medical lawsuit and that consumed like years of our time and craziness. And I kept going, what is happening, what is happening? And, and I started thinking about this again and going, wait a minute, we’re attracting this, why are we attracting this? What is supposed to come out of this? And I remember sitting in saying, Well, you know what, I have a choice, we can either have something really bad come out of this, or we can have something really amazing come out of this. And we have this choice. And my husband kept looking at me like, okay, you’re losing it. There’s no way you control this. And I said, No, but we can. And you know, and I took control of it at that point and said, Okay, I’m going to look at this from the aspect of everything is falling apart but that means I’m shedding a skin, I’m shedding a layer, for something new to come up, I’m just going to make sure that new layer comes up in a positive fashion, and certainly wasn’t easy from making that decision. And all of a sudden, all this negativity went away. But it set me up for where I am today. And now I look back. And I think if all of those things hadn’t transpired, I wouldn’t be where I am today. I wouldn’t have my dream house, I wouldn’t have my dream business, I wouldn’t have any of that, if that negative stuff wouldn’t have created the turmoil enough for me to take the risks and go with it. Tom Kearin 12:34 That’s beautiful. That’s that’s exactly that’s a perfect description of the process, right? Because we in our lives, we all create it and you need you, your inner being knew that it needed something really big, and, and to push you in the direction that you’re supposed to go. Your inner self that that greater part of you that broader perspective, knew saw the whole thing. and said, you know, Dr. Deb needs this. I mean, your doctor debt, right. And I don’t know if you were doing that back then. But all of this now is to help other people with that. So that’s a beautiful, it’s a beautiful, really, your story is a beautiful example of how it does work. It’s not just law of attractions, the universal laws, all of them and in working together in your life. And I thought that’s a, that’s a wonderful way to say it. Because, you know, a lot of times someone said to me, you know, Oh, you know what, when things are going good, I get worried that it’s not going to last, and that’s something that I go. If you think that then that’s what’s going to happen, right? It’s all what you believe, right? I said, the only I go sometimes something happens that the only reason it’s really our interpretation, there’s nothing really good and bad is our perception of things. And so if something comes up, most people interpret something that doesn’t go according to what they thought their script was, you know, we all have these ideas of how our life should go. And if something comes up, and it doesn’t go like that, we automatically view that as negative. And then we start getting on a life path that’s negative right?. A lifeline that’s negative, if you look at it and go, Oh, my inner being knows best, leading me on the path of least resistance that was your path. And as soon as you pulled that trigger and said, this is positive, this is good. You got back on that you got back on that Lifeline that that you’re supposed to head towards. So I think that’s a great. Yeah, you know, it’s not you know, I think more and more people looking at it, you know, back in the 80s. When I came up when I first started business, you could never talk about this. Right? You couldn’t you know, I often talk about this, but you know, I was the one boss in place they had a big Pete Mark had about four floors and I’m in a partner’s office and he’s drinking whiskey. You know, it just, it’s just not like that these days and I, and I thought, you know, and he goes, Okay, Tom, you did it. You had a good year, but what are you gonna do now? What are you gonna do this year? You know, everything was about Boom, boom, boom, and it never felt right to me it’s like there’s gotta be something. So I love it I love your story because because I think that’s a message people need to hear that that that just because things look, you know if something comes up, trust your inner being, trust that you’re on that that that that broader perspective is leading or run around on the right path. And once you have that, you know, it’s not even it goes beyond faith, it becomes a knowing, right, I mean faith, there’s still with faith, there’s still room for doubt. But when you get into a knowing as you do, because now you have the knowing, right? You had the faith back when all that was happening, right? When you said to your husband, I really believe that was the faith. And then once it all happened, now you have the knowing that the universe takes care of you that the universe loves you and that and that things are always working out. The universe is only about work about providing love to us, people don’t get it No one’s out to get us. It’s us creating that right. You know, it’s interesting to me, and yeah, and so I love I love that story. I that’s thrilling to me. Dr. Debra Muth 16:27 Yeah, we do create a lot of our own resistance. But you know, you’re so right with the perception side, because we can perceive that resistance as something really negative, or complicated or difficult. Or we can perceive this as a new opening or a new challenge to us. And it doesn’t always have to be negative. But I think it’s so easy for us today, to look at everything from that negative perspective and automatically go to this person’s out to get me, you know, the world’s gonna fall apart, they don’t want to see us independent, they don’t want to see me working and making money, they, you know, my family doesn’t want to see me succeed, we can come in all those negative places, because it’s so much easier to go from that negative energy than it is to resonate at that higher frequency of love and peace. And that takes more energy for us. So how do you get people to transition a little bit from going to that dark place immediately versus resonating at that higher energy? Or that higher frequency? Tom Kearin 17:30 Well, here’s the thing, you can’t really get them to do anything. Right. And so, so I know, I understand your question, but I like the way you worded it, because I think that’s um, that’s that’s how people that’s the resistance, right? People go I can’t get there. I don’t want to use that word get. And I can’t get there from here. And, and, and, and in? The answer is- Abraham hicks says it’s all this, you can’t, you can’t make that big jump, but you can start turning it, you know, turning it around little by little, looking at looking at what’s going right. And then and then focusing on that, because you can’t really, you know, thoughts are interesting, it’s not really the thoughts, it’s the emotions attached to the thought. So once you have the emotion, that’s what that’s what is the, I guess the creative juice, if you want to call that’s a creative energy that starts creating the reality around you. And, and, again, it it, it’s some spiritual teachers call it coordination, where anytime something comes up, that is negative, you’ve got to you know, you’ve got to flip the switch on that. And, and, and look at it as that it’s going to help you in the long run, just as you did. And this quickly what follows that is probably some good positive event after that, because you’re getting back on the lifeline that you’re supposed to be on. You know, often friends say, Oh, you know, bad news comes in threes. And yeah, and you know, how they always say that, and they always think those are the events are connected, somehow they’re not. It’s, the events are not connected. The reason that happens is we get down, and then we attract other independent events that are negative, and it looks like that, oh, the universe, you know, some, you know, like, the world is oppressing me, you know, and, and it’s not the way so i think it’s it’s a process, right? It’s a process of, of that, of, of feeling all those things, and then moving from that because you can’t tell people not to feel right not to feel fear or not to feel jealousy or not to feel, you know, even if it’s hate, you know, you’ve got to kind of back them off. And so it’s It’s, it’s getting them used to Dr. Deb, it’s really just getting making a habit out of feeling good. Because I think we, you know, I grew up in a household if, if people read my book, I do a short memoir in the first section, but it was always negative, right? My mother would always say, you know, the world is crucifying me, this was her famous phrase. So you think the world is bad, right? You grow up with that. Even from a very young age, you know, and I remember when I was first starting college, my mother would say, quit get a job, like the others, you know, blah, blah, everything was negative, it wasn’t, you know, you know, and, and so, you, it, you’re, we’re so some of us, not all of us, but even in the news cycle, right? If you if you if you turn it, everybody’s fighting, and, and we all think that it’s a struggle, and that we have to overcome things, and we have to fight people, and we have to do this. And, and, and the answer that’s not how the universe is about. It’s about love and, and allowance, like you said, but it’s interesting, everything is the opposite in the world around us. So it’s very difficult sometimes to, to not get hooked on that. Dr. Debra Muth 21:13 It’s really hard. And right now, I mean, I talk to people every day in my practice, and right now the fear and the anxiety is so high. I’ve never written as many prescriptions for depression and anxiety as I have in the last month, because it’s just gotten so out of control with the pandemic, and the political arena, and all of that, and people are really frightened. But if they had access to this type of divinity, or spirituality, it could really help them be much more calm in nature, how could they utilize the Abraham Hicks things, or Tony Robbins work that they do to help them understand that they don’t have to be so afraid that the universe is still going to flow that things are still going to work? How can they utilize programs like that to help them right now? Tom Kearin 22:04 Well, you know, it’s interesting, you don’t have to sign up for anything. So if it a lot of people think, you know, there’s a lot of free resources out there. And Abraham Hicks has a lot of free and, she does Her now their webinars right or what not webinars, but zoom. But she has a lot of she streams a lot. But she has a lot of free resources out there. Not only Abraham Hicks, there’s a lot of other spiritual teachers that that work off that material and other material. Another one that I thought that I read, that I’ve sort of read a lot about was nevel got it back in the 50s. This guy Nevel took sort of a different view of it, you know, more of a I wouldn’t say religious but based on the Bible, so I thought it all ties in, but there’s so many free resources out there on social media, if they just Google, right? ‘law of attraction”, or, or, or anything like that, they’re going to come get a bunch of stuff up there. So little by little, but I think what happens is when you’re in this state of I think it’s like anxiety and fear and all of that. Sometimes we get overwhelmed, right? And I and I think a lot of people like I had a friend say I stopped listening to all those people because I I just got, I just got mad that I couldn’t do it. And so that that’s what we got to so my thing to them is it’s not there’s nothing you have to do. It’s just you know, you’ve got to slow down and know that it’s already inside you. So I like Abraham Hicks is okay, but there’s a lot about cars, you know that she talks a lot about the material side. A lot of other stuff. But there’s also a lot of other teachers out there. I want to say, if you connect with Abraham Hicks watch her as if you connect with another spiritual teacher, watch their videos. Just recently, I read a book called Tran surfing. And this was a Russian author. Very interesting talk. It’s, I would say it’s, it’s a combination of all of the universal laws. And it’s called “Tran Surfing”, get the full name. But if you just Google “Tran surfing”, and you see it, he, he’s Russian, and it was translated, and it’s very, very good. It’s it’s a lot of volumes in one. But there’s also a course in miracles which I you know, I’m still a bit of I still read that every morning. And so there’s a lot of resources out there but I think what I wanted to say to them is there’s nothing wrong with you, you know, the you’re perfect. And it’s it’s it’s just our feelings and perceptions inside. That we’ve got that that that you that is really a To get right, that there’s nothing, there’s no one asserting anything on you, it’s all you. And once you know that it’s kind of liberating, you know, that you can actually change this tide that, that it’s just thoughts are not really you. They’re, they’re, you know, they there’s a we, you know, even abraham hicks says that there’s thoughts, once they’re out there, they’re out there. And so when you have a thought, and if it’s negative thought you catch another one from that pendulum of negativity. And so don’t don’t beat yourself up. Right, right, start small and really, you know, she says milk, the positivity is, I like that there’s a lot to that. And so it’s a It, it, it doesn’t have to be a gradual process. But I think when you’re in that state of fear and anxiety, that’s how you want to step into it. Because I think it’s hard, you know, anxiety in a way, it’s a high emotion. And if you can turn that anxiety into the positive direction, Wow, that’s amazing, because anxiety is a is a very big feeling. And if you can, if you just kind of flip it from negative to positive, then you’re rocking and rolling, right? You know, because anxiety is a very powerful emotion, the bad but if you can turn it into that, that anxiety into a positive emotion, those same feelings can really change your life. You know, you’ve been through this, right? And so, you know, Dr. Debra Muth 26:24 One of the first things that I did when I started to change my thought pattern, because I much like you was raised in a really negative environment, and, and I didn’t want that with me anymore. And it was really hard. My mom is still with me, she’s 81. And she’s still pretty negative person. And yeah, it was really hard for me. And so what I started doing is, every time I had a negative thought, in my head, I would turn that negative thought to a positive, I would be conscious about it as much as I could. And I’d say, okay, the weather’s great today, it’s, you know, it’s raining, and it’s gray. And it’s nasty. And, and I’d go in my head, and I’d be like, Yeah, but that gives me the opportunity to work on this and this and this that I normally wouldn’t be able to do, I mean, just little things like that. Or if I was in that really dark place, I would try to find something positive within that moment. So I could start to turn and flip my brain from being so negative all the time. And, and I love what you’re talking about the free resource it is, there’s so many of them out there. And if you just YouTube them, like you’re saying you don’t have to do anything, you can just listen to them, your subconscious is going to pick them up there, it’s going to do what they needed to do. It’s not like you have to join this course and learn all this stuff. You just have to listen and be open. But you can do it while you’re sleeping because it’ll go within your subconscious to I did a lot of that when I was learning some of this. Tom Kearin 27:53 Well, you know, Joseph Murphy, Neville Goddard talks about that, but because our subconscious is a what a lot of people would call that connection to that alternative space to thatminfinite matrix that God energy or God, really, it’s God. And so I love that it is true, though. I like how you said, I will, I will look at it and I will look replace it with a positive thought because it is, that is the work. That’s all there’s nothing. There’s no other fit. You know, if that’s the work guys in and it doesn’t mean you have to be successful the first time just keep working at it one thing, I make a game of it now like, say, for instance, I get a review on my book that I didn’t like, Oh, I just, I make it I go I love Thank you, thank you, thank you so much. You know, and then sure enough, I’m telling you, it’s like clockwork, a review comes through it’s five stars, I love it, it changed my life. And that’s how the universe works. You gotta you know, you got it, you know, I make if you can in in and I get sometimes we will life’s not a game that go well, you know, I know things happen that we don’t you know that. But again, if we know we are the attractors, we are the creators, then we can manage that right. And so, so I loved how you said that because I do that that’s the way I do it. I make it sort of a a game. I go I there’s that negative pendulum again, you’re not going to hook me. I’m not going there. Dr. Debra Muth 29:00 you know, we have the luxury of creating our own reality. So in any reality, if I love life is a game in some respects. I mean, it’s a game that we’re playing to the end, right? And we have the choice of playing all out, or we have the choice of playing small. And we have the choice of how we choose to live our lives. And once we realize that we’re in control and we have the power to to live our lives the way we want. What Can’t we do? I mean, there’s there’s nothing we can’t do if we know we’re in control. And that doesn’t mean that you’re going to get everything you want in life and it’s not going to all just flow beautifully. It’s not there’s going to be challenges, there’s going to be obstacles. That’s how we learn. That’s how we grow. If everything was easy, there’d be no growth. But it doesn’t mean that they have to be really big divots, either. They can just be a little small blip enough to catch your attention. And then, like you said, then you just look at a different way and you move on. Tom Kearin 30:20 I love that. Yeah, you’re right, because we’re co creators. Right? Dr. Debra Muth 30:22 Right. Tom Kearin 30:23 So what you know, it’s not that we deliberately create chaos or negativity, or like, it happens just because we’re, we’re not. We are spirit and human bodies. So guys, we’re doing our human love. Right? embrace that, right? Because if you can, you know, you can, you could do it, where you just create all love and all positivity. But that’s when you’re, you know, that’s when you make your transition. So here, and then, you know, you still get that you still got something to look forward to. I really believe that. They’re that, you know, I think I don’t know if you remember that book critic, the guys that used to do the two thumbs up. Yeah. Yeah. One of them passed away. Yeah. pass away, Robert, Roger Ebert. And he, right, as he was passing, his wife was with him. And you know, he couldn’t talk because he had a throat cancer. But he was writing things down. And he said, you know, honey, it’s all a big sham. Go, he goes, I can see it all past, present, and future. It’s all happening at once. It was a mind boggling and, you know, some people he was people will say he was hallucinating or whatever. But that is what we talk about. Right? You know, it’s a it’s, it’s, it’s a it’s so beautiful. I can see it all. He had the broader view already. And so if we can just know that the broader view is, it’s, it’s, it’s good, good, good, good. Good. You know, and, you know, that’s what I’m Esther Hicks, which is, she’s a funny lady. She always goes, might She goes, you know, someone asked me she has a plan. Yeah, my plan is happy, happy, happy dead. And I loved it, you know, and that was obviously Abraham, because it was pretty funny. But, but I think that we, you’re right, you know, we it’s, we you got to make a choice. It’s not Pollyanna, I, we know that things happen. Because we are the collective conscious, creates things that are not, you know, always positive, right? Because, because we’re all co creators in the world. So don’t wear it all on your shoulders, try to create your layer of your world, right? That’s what you’re responsible for. Just like that, I mean, so positive, there’s so much energy just talking to you, I can feel it. So I know you do great things, because I immediately I got this sort of intuition. When I first started talking, I go, there’s something good here. You know, I can feel this. And I’m sure you can now you’re at that point where know beforehand where it’s going? Dr. Debra Muth 33:02 Yeah, when you, when you get into this, you start to be able to read people, and you kind of know when something is aligned with you or not. And yeah, and I’ll play this with myself too. Sometimes if something’s not going well, you know, we all need to have personal responsibility, right? So if I have some things that aren’t going well, the way I want them to, I usually step back and say, Well, you know, you made this deal with the universe before you were here. This is part of your contract, you agreed to this. That’s why it’s showing up. But that doesn’t mean that it has to take the plane of what you’re making it look like it doesn’t have to take that total negative plane, you agreed to have this incident happen. But how it happens in fullness, or in a mild case. That’s that’s all that matters. So I take my personal responsibility and say, You know what, I’m part of making this happened. But that also means that I’m part of making it something positive to it doesn’t have to be something completely negative. Tom Kearin 34:01 That’s beautiful. Perfect. That’s what that is. Exactly. It I get that that’s a beautiful bag, you know, yeah, it’s true, you know, look, to tsunamis happen, natural disasters happened, all of that. We’re not saying that I’m not saying that those things don’t happen. But that was a co creative thing in the universe that that that that you know, the energy out there has created but there’s a lot of good in that too. And I am of the of the my day after, after really going inside that once connecting to this divinity inside that we are just all spirit in love and so we’re eternal, just enjoy it because cuz it’s never ending, right? You’re gonna be co creating for eternity. You’re going to be creating for eternity right now you’re in this physical world, which is great. I love it. You know and definitely want to stay here as long as possible. But uh, but the Good news is there. It’s never ending. So what a wonderful thing to look at, you know? Yeah, Dr. Debra Muth 35:06 That’s awesome. So Tom, if people are resonating with what you’re talking about, how do they reach out to you, learn more about what you’re doing and share? Share in this amazing universal piece that you’re working through? Tom Kearin 35:22 Oh, yeah. So I can be reached at besomethingwonderful.com or TomKearin.com. they’re both the website both go to the same place. I’m on Instagram @TomKearin, on my Twitter @TomKearin. I’m on Facebook @BeSomethingWonderful. So really, you could even if you just Google me and also, if you want to, if you want to read about me something wonderful is be something wonderful when suddenly you want to be more that’s on Amazon. It’s in an E book. And it’s also in paperback for those who who still like to read. And it’s a quick read, it’s about 120 pages and, and, but, but write me anyway, and you know, write me on Facebook, you can reach me on email at tom.kearin@besomethingwonderful.com or info@besomethingwonderful.com whatever you prefer. But we’re out there with and I always love to I always try to respond, guys always make an effort. If you take the time to write me or communicate with me. I’ll take the time to to write you back. Dr. Debra Muth 36:30 That’s your wonderful, that’s wonderful. This has been such a great motivating conversation. Do you have any last tips or tricks that you want to share with our audience? Tom Kearin 36:40 Yeah, guys, it’s all about love. So, so whenever you know, and Marianne Williamson had said this, too, right? Whenever you’re in doubt, choose love. You can’t go wrong. Yep. Thanks so much, Dr. Deb. I really enjoyed it. And I love your story. And wow. Thanks so much for having me. I’m very grateful that we have met. Dr. Debra Muth 37:03 Thank you. Same here.  
26 minutes | 2 months ago
Episode 90: 10 Ways to Create Gratitude During Difficult Times
It can be very hard to find reasons to be thankful for the life we have especially in this time of a great difficulty.  Dr. Debra shares 10 ways that we can discover the gratitude for what we have. “Check for silver linings. The most difficult life challenges come with some benefit.” – Dr. Debra Muth Don’t miss these key points: [2:32] The difficulty to find the bright side of life [6:32] Acknowledging the good in life amplifies positive emotions [8:25] How to we choose to look at an event affects our outlook [12:27] 10 tips to find the gratitude within us [21:34] Bringing the family together this Thanksgiving in a time of social distancing and isolation   Transcript for Episode 90: 10 Way to Create Gratitude During Difficult Times. What an exciting week we’re gonna have here at Let’s Talk Wellness Now. I’m so thankful for everyone who listens in, who shows up, who shares our podcast, who is learning from us, and learning about health, wellness, longevity, everything. It is such an empowering time for us to be able to have the ability to learn and grow and just have freedom in the world. Now I know 2020 has been an extremely challenging time for everyone. And the idea of freedom has been strained for many of us who are locked down, safer at home, working from home, homeschooling, the whole nine yards. It’s been a huge challenge. But this is the week of Thanksgiving and I want to talk about 10 ways to be a more thankful person. And I want you to share with us on our show notes or on our Facebook page or Instagram page what it is that you’re thankful for this year in 2020. You know, people have been researching and studying the intervention of positive outcomes in the health and wellbeing arena for a very, very long time. What we know is that people who are happy, optimistic, thankful, grateful-they actually have a better functioning immune system. It lowers your blood pressure, it helps to be more optimistic, it decreases depression, and truly improves our love life when we’re in a very thankful, grateful, loving time. And for some of us, it takes a lot of effort to look on the bright side of things, to be grateful and thankful, to see the good things that are happening in the world. And for others, it’s very hard. You know, we’re bombarded with the news media that never seems to show anything positive. It’s always the negative stuff. And remember, people, that’s what sells news. That’s why they don’t put a lot of positive things on the news media. But there are amazing people in this world doing things that are so heartfelt and so wonderful. And this last year, in doing the podcast, I have had the opportunity to meet with some of the most wonderful people who are really out there, changing people’s lives doing something different, helping one another cope, helping people be who they want to be, and really just reach their maximum potential of who they can be, psychologically, spiritually and physically. And I am so grateful to have been able to have those people touch my lives, teach me things that I don’t know, and make new friends. So it’s just been a humbling and honoring experience to be your podcast guest hosts. So let’s talk about gratitude. Let’s talk about the 10 things for gratitude. You know, I’m going to start with the gratitude of health because that’s where I am is totally in health and wellness field. That’s where I’m going to start. So there are a lot of direct and indirect ways that we can look at health. And we can be grateful to have the ability to relax, to meditate, to listen to music, all of these things, improve the immune system, decrease the blood pressure, we can cultivate better healthy habits. And you know, this is the time of the year that we really start thinking about health and wellness and what am I going to do for next year, and even more so this year, because many of us have put on the “COVID-15”. And so we’re looking at how we can change our lives going forward in 2021 to have a healthier, more nutritious life: exercise regularly, stay optimistic in our attitude, really create a healing space and a healing attitude in our world and in our lives. So first and foremost, I think we have to be grateful that we get this opportunity to wake up every day in this amazing world, we get to wake up, we get to go to work, we get to be with our families, either by zoom or in person. We we can brush our teeth, right, we can walk to the bathroom! My mom’s 81 and she’s grateful every day that she can still get up and brush her teeth and walk to the bathroom and take care of herself and live on her own. So those are things that we oftentimes take for granted. And we need to be grateful for the health that we have, that we can breathe, that we can see, that we can hear. And for those of us who can’t see or hear, you have other amazing senses that bring information into you so you can be part of society and part of the normal world. The next thing to be grateful for is joy. Robert Emmons is an internationally renowned scientific expert on gratitude. And he actually found that acknowledging the good in life has a tendency to amplify positive emotions such as joy and contentment, because it helps slow us down. And so I think it’s very easy for us to choose to be unhappy, miserable, crabby. Or, we can choose to be happy and joyful, and, you know, look at life full instead of half empty. It’s really about being optimistic, and how we perceive our lives. And you’ve heard me talk about this on other shows, perception is everything, we can notice the gorgeous sunrise, and the wonderful sunsets that we get every single night, and there are never two that are the same. Or we can look at it and say, “the sun’s going down, that means it’s going to be dark soon and we’re going to have to go to bed.” Or, in our case, “it’s dark for the next six hours and I don’t know what I’m going to do with myself.” Or you can look at it and you can say, look at the gift we’ve been given by God, the universe, your higher power, whatever you want to call it, at this beautiful skyline, how the sun is setting, how it’s reflecting off the trees, how their shadows in different places. We have that innate ability, being able to enjoy a warm cup of coffee in between your hands, the pleasure of the first sip, or the smell of it in the morning when you’re waking up. We can rush from activity to activity, and never pay attention to any of these things. Or, we can take that split second. And just enjoy the beauty of what we have. You know gratitude in my mind is resilient. It takes a lot of work for us to live a life of gratitude. It’s so simple to look at those negative processes and negative stories and all of those things. We all have betrayal in our lives. We all have trauma of some kind that we live through in our lives, whether it be big or small. But how we choose to heal from that process makes all the difference in the world. How we choose to look at that event. Do we look at that event as a gift? Because it means we’re going to have something bigger and better on the other side? Do we look at it as a curse? And it’s destroyed our whole lives? Or do we look at it as just a moment in time and that’s it. It takes resilience to have gratitude. I like to reflect a lot on the story of the Holocaust survivors because so many of them tell their stories. And they remember most the strong feelings of gratitude that they had for food, shelter and clothing that was offered to them. They had a sense of thankfulness for the small blessings that helped them maintain their humanity despite such a horrific tragedy that they were living through and even people with life threatening illnesses, you know, they can find positive emotions. And when they find those positive emotions, and they practice it on a regular basis, miracles can happen. For those of you who’ve heard me talk about this before, my best friend Jan passed away this year in May of a very aggressive female cancer. She only survived 10 months. We expected about that amount of time knowing her diagnosis. And it was very sad. It was very earth shattering for all of us. She was only 56 years old. But I will tell you, this is a woman I spoke to every single day for 17 years. And the last year that I had with her we talked sometimes more than once a day. She was always so positive, and always so resilient. And always so grateful. And she made sure she told everyone in her life, how important they were to her, how special they were, what they meant to her, the gifts that they gave her. And it really hit me in thinking that why do we only do this when we believe there’s only a short time left of our life? Why don’t we do this every single day so that people that are around us every day know how much we appreciate them, know how much we love them know how important they are to us? How much better would this world be if we could tell people those things every single day? And I know some of you naysayers are going to say but then they’re going to expect it every day and then I’m going to forget and then it’s not going to be special. I say hogwash to you all. That is hogwash. Every one of us needs to know how important we are, how special we are, how wonderful we are, how beautiful we are, how loved we are, every single day. Every single day, we need to hear it. And that’s what is so important about living life and being grateful for the life that we have to be able to live today.  So here are my 10 tips to gratitude in your life. Every day, I want you from now until the end of the year, you can continue it beyond that for sure. But for now until the end of the year: every day, I want you to say three things out love that happened to you that day that you are grateful for. And if you can do this activity with your kids or with your partner, that’s even better. We’ve done this in my office and it’s beautiful. It helps us move that reflection from negativity to positivity. Some days you are going to have all you’ve got to muster up something that you’re grateful for that happened that day. Be grateful the sun came up, be grateful you caught a glimpse of the sunset. Be grateful that the grass is green if that’s where you’re living, or we didn’t have snow that day or an ice storm, make it fun. Some days are going to be much harder for you than others. But every day say three good things that happen to you. Keep a gratitude journal. I started this numerous years ago, well over 10 years ago, I started keeping a gratitude journal. And I jot down the small things for my day that matter to me the most. It doesn’t take a lot of time. You can do it in less than five minutes. But find a quiet place for yourself. If you don’t want to write, these things we call smartphones are amazing. Click on something that allows you to record you can download an app that allows you to record your thoughts and just simply talk into it for a few minutes about what turned out great in your day. The fact that you have had a rainstorm and we have four inches at one time but your basement didn’t flood. That’s a great day. I would also recommend that you put a date on those pages or on your recordings because you want to be able to look back at those over time and see all the amazing blessings that you have in your life. Third: say thanks to your partner. Couples who express gratitude towards one another have a better relationship, they have better intimacy, there’s better trust. And you both will feel as though your needs are being met. So take advantage of this. Every day I listened to women tell me they want their sex life to be better, they wish they had better desire. Step one people, honor your partner. Honor your partners that they honor you and that will start to make that change a little bit nicer for you. Number four, cool a hot temper quickly with gratitude inventory. So it’s very easy for us to go from zero to 100 seconds in two seconds flat, right? We all know people that can do that. The quickest way to dispel energy from a bad mood, is to focus your attention on what’s good. So if you lash out at someone, take a quick moment, do an inventory of five things that you’re thankful for in that moment. It could be your health, it could be the clean air you’re breathing. Maybe you switched to a cheaper cell phone bill, anything like that at all. If you wake up on the wrong side of the bed, do the same thing. Go for it, find those things you’re grateful for. Number five: thank yourself. Gratitude doesn’t always need to be focused on what other people have done for you. Make sure you thank yourself for your healthy habits that you have. I’m eating more vegetables. I’m exercising, I’m sleeping. One tip that I learned from a coach that I was working with is to take a post-it note in your bathroom mirror. And write down three things on a post it note that you like about yourself, and read them out loud every morning and every night. You may have the most gorgeous hair in the world that people take for granted. Be thankful for that! There are people that have no hair, you may have the sexiest legs. Put that on your gratitude journal, you may have the most superb taste in clothes or shoes or something like that. Put that on your gratitude list. Those are important features. Not everybody has those things. Number six: use technology to send three gratitude messages a week. So find yourself a cell phone or an internet. You’re on it for hours every day searching Facebook, searching all kinds of things. Facebook has become one of the most negative places to be these days. Let’s put out something positive. Let’s put out some good vibes. Instant message, text, add a Facebook comment. Tell your friends why you appreciate them. Tell them why you’re grateful they’re showing up for you the way they do in your life. Number seven: savor the good moments. If you notice you’re feeling happy. Stop and pay attention for a few minutes. Don’t be happy and then rush on to the next task. Notice exactly how you feel, including those sensations that you have in your body. I will never forget the feeling I had holding my child for the first time. I had a very different feeling holding my grandchildren for the first time.I had another really different feeling watching my daughter walked down the aisle to be married. Savor those moments. They’re precious. They will inspire gratitude for you to remember a moment and an experience when you’re down. Number eight: check for silver linings. The most difficult life challenges come with some benefit. You have to look to find them sometimes. Being sick draws out compassion in friends. Making a mistake teaches you a lesson. When things are hard, ask yourself, “what’s the good in this?” I always do this when things are hard or they’re not going the way that I want them to go I tell myself the universe has a bigger plan for me. There’s something else that’s happening. There’s a reason this person is leaving my life. There’s a reason that I’m losing an employee. There’s a reason I’m having this argument with this person right now. Find that silver lining. Number nine: look outward, not inward. Robert Emmons says people are more likely to feel grateful when they put their focus on others, rather than getting caught up in their own inner narratives about how things should have gone. Empathy is huge, it can trigger a sense of gratitude, and people who can focus outwardly, tend to experience stronger benefits. Now, number 10 is our last one. I mentioned this a little earlier in there: change your perspective. If you struggle to come up with something to feel grateful for, put yourself in the shoes of someone who’s experiencing misfortunes greater than you. If you have a roof over your head, but it’s not exactly what you want, or your basement is flooded, or the your appliances broke, or your kids colored on your wall, whatever that is. That’s got you revved up for the moment. Be grateful you have a roof over your head. Think of the homeless people that are sleeping under the bridges at night that have no home. Think of the children that have no food. Think of the people who are less fortunate than you. This is an amazing time for us. This next week we get to celebrate Thanksgiving in a different way than we have in many, many years-if ever, it’s unprecedented! It is my birthday the day after Thanksgiving. I will have lived on this earth for 54 years. I don’t ever remember not being able to celebrate a Thanksgiving with my entire family. This year is going to be different. It’s going to be a challenge for us. We need to make the best of it. We have zoom, we have telephone. We have so many things to be grateful for. Yes, it’s difficult. Yes, this virus is affecting a lot of people. On the positive side 99.9% are surviving without any bad ramifications in their health at all. Let’s show our gratitude towards one another. Let’s show our gratitude and our thanks for what we have. Let’s show how much we can give back to the world during this next week. I want to thank you guys for tuning in. I’m very thankful for all of you. I wish you all an amazing, wonderful Thanksgiving however you share it. I would love to know how you’re sharing it what you’re doing with this gratitude list. So please leave us comments, leave us a review. It really helps us boost our ratings and have other people see the show and listen to the show. If you think this has helped you in any way I would ask you to share it with a friend. I am again just so honored to be able to be your host on Let’s Talk Wellness Now and I wish you guys an amazing holiday!
31 minutes | 2 months ago
Episode 89: Energy healing, COVID experiences, and retraining our cells – Interview with Jewels Arnes
Interested in retraining your cells? What to turn back the aging clock? Jewels Arnes shares exactly how to do that in this episode. http://www.eternalgoldbeauty.com https://www.facebook.com/groups/AwakenYourSkin*BONUS: When you join this group you get a free 33 day course to break the agreement of aging and a 25% off code for the product and DECU store. https://www.facebook.com/EternalGoldSkincareSHOW NOTES [1:09] – Jewel’s journey to becoming an energy healer [11:52] – Everything is consciousness [19:41] – Deb and Jewel share their experiences of having COVID “What we see in our reality is a direct reflection of the frequency or level consciousness that we are holding.” Transcription of Episode 89: Energy healing, COVID experiences, and retraining our cells – Interview with Jewels Arnes. Dr. Debra Muth   Alright ladies, I am so excited as I always am every week to bring you and your guest and this guest is truly special. And you will not want to miss anything that we’re talking about today, because it is so important on multiple levels. So I want to introduce to you my dear friend, Jewel Arnes. She is the founder and creator of Eternal Gold Beauty. Welcome, Jewels!   Jewels Arnes  0:38   Thank you Debra, I’m so happy to be here.   Dr. Debra Muth  0:41   This is an exciting time for us to be talking about this, especially today in the US. It’s a little crazy today and we can use all of the consciousness that we can muster up. But I’d love to have you share your story with our listeners, because it is so unique in how you founded your company and why you found it it. So please share that with us?   Jewels Arnes  1:04   Oh, gosh, you know, I feel like it’s been a journey that’s really started when I was 16. When I was 16, I actually got kicked out of the house as a rebellious child. But you know, because of that, I entered, actually AA (Alcoholics Anonymous) because I thought, “Oh, I must have a problem if I got kicked out of the house!”. And in AA, I had my sponsor actually saw that I had the gift of what they call “seeing” and she took me under her wing and started teaching me how to trace energy. And I became a healer and have been studying healing modalities ever since. So it’s been like over 25 years now, if you can believe that. And, you know, I never really thought it would go further than that. It’s like, Okay, uh, you know, I thought being, knowing what my purpose in life at such a young age was a gift. And what I found after my best friend passed away about five years ago, is that I was able to trace his energy on the other side. And it was just this really beautiful play of watching where he was going and being able to follow him. And I know this sounds a little weird, but I followed him all the way to a circle of consciousness. And I was initiated into the circle of consciousness that I call the Council of Lights. And they are the CEO of my company. And through listening to guidance from them, I was told to create a skincare line. And it was just these little breadcrumbs that I got from them little by little like first, it was teaching me about scalar energy and then bringing ORMUS. And then it was funny, because when I first developed a cream, it was to heal my clients, I live in a really active community where a lot of people have injuries and that sort of thing. And I was using it on clients to heal muscles and that sort of stuff. And I sent some to my ex husband. And he called me a week later and was like, this is the best stuff I’ve ever used. All my wrinkles are disappearing. And I was like started laughing because I said you’re supposed to put on your sore muscles, not your face. And just like you have to make a skincare line. And so here I am many years later, and I developed a skincare line that is I call it “living skincare” because it truly has its own consciousness, and its programed to repair cellular DNA, or you could even go as far as advancing cellular consciousness.    Dr. Debra Muth  3:56   Wow, that is such an amazing story. I love that story! Let’s talk what is “advancing the consciousness” mean for our listeners who aren’t quite into that world? What does that mean to them and why is that important for their skincare?   Jewels Arnes  4:15   I love this question. So science is now showing that your skin has its own consciousness. And the consciousness of ourselves comes from the environment of our body, which is held in the state of consciousness that we hold, you could say with our thoughts and even our subconscious thoughts. And so what we do is we bring specific scalar frequencies into the cells through the design of the skincare to raise the frequency of your skin cells. And then we have a whole process that teaches you actually to change the consciousness of your skin because you know, right now most of us are the consciousness of the cells of our skin are just kind of unconscious. And they are playing out the program of you could say, the collective consciousness, and that is that we will age, and we will degenerate. But science is showing there is no biological reason that we age. And so this is just a journey of awakening to the level of consciousness where we become the master of ourselves, or you could say, of our body.    Dr. Debra Muth  5:37   There are so many great pearls in there. I had to write a couple down because I want to come back and make sure we don’t miss some of these things. So if you’re saying our skin has its own consciousness, if we have a lot of negative thought processes going on, what does that do to our skin?   Jewels Arnes  5:59   Well, the first thing it would do is degenerate. It’s really when we start to, like, I know everybody has this experience when they’re super stressed, they look 10 years older. I mean, that’s like the easiest way to look at it. But you what I love about the skin is that it’s the one organ that we really see. And it can be an amazing biofeedback mechanism for whether or not we’re actually shifting the consciousness of ourselves. Because if we’re working with a certain- let’s say wrinkle or area, and we’re working on clearing those negative thoughts that are held in ourselves of our skin, and we clear those belief systems and agreements and start to work with bringing in -we call it ascending through the “I am”. We use the “I am” at the base level to ascend cellular consciousness. And then it definitely goes beyond that. But that’s a really easy way for people to start connecting to higher frequency consciousness within their cells when they’re applying the skincare.   Dr. Debra Muth  7:03   I love that I love the “I am” principle. I learned about that through Dr. Wayne Dyer about 15 years ago. And I go in and out of doing it every day, I do really good for a while and then I fall off the wagon, and then I do really good again. But that is a very important part. And people if you’re listening to us, and you don’t know what the “I am” principles are, I would really encourage you to go and look at that because especially in the times that we have now and the scarcity and the fear and the anxiety, we need a way to pull ourselves back. And we need a way to know that we are in control. So check out that “I am” principles. You know, Jewels, this is really important too, because people need to understand that your direct inside health is shown externally in our skin and our hair. Skin is our largest organ and so we show a lot of what’s going on inside, externally. And if our skin isn’t right, and our hair isn’t right, that’s a clue that something else is going on inside that we need to take a look at whether it is consciously or whether it’s physically. And for those of you who are have already kind of shut your mind off like this is way too out there. Basically, this is biofeedback people, this is what happens in our universe all the time. We are just an energy being having a physical experience. And so this happens all the time. Don’t disconnect your thought process, because we’re going to go deeper in here and talk about the cells and what’s actually happening on a cellular level for us. Because you have figured this out, and you’ve decoded some of this. And it’s so exciting. When I heard you first talk about this back in March, I was like, “Wow, this is amazing stuff.” So let’s talk a little bit about that how- And then I also want to come back, I don’t want to forget about this concept of we’re not meant to age and I think that’s where this cellular piece can go. We truly are not meant to age and so when I see 60 year olds who are already saying, “Well, I’m already 60 I’m supposed to feel this way,”  no, you’re not people! So let’s talk about why they’re not supposed to age and what’s happening on a cellular level for them.   Jewels Arnes  9:15   You know, I think that just going back to the original agreement is just what you were saying is that we all just on unconsciously agree that I’m going to get older. And I’m going to start to degenerate. And just like you said, like people say it all the time you hear it from your doctors, “oh, well at this age…” and we’re just programmed to think that we’re going to fall apart and that we’re going to get- but I you know what is so cool about that is that once we awaken and create choice around it, because aging is a choice, and we focus on that choice continually. And first of all, it’s when you’re looking in the mirror instead of pointing out the wrinkles, and the things that we don’t like it’s, every time we do that we’re programming ourselves to do what we’re seeing. I mean, we are literally saying, “Yes, this is what I see. I’m agreeing to it, I’m pointing it out and creating resistance to it”. And the cell absorbs that resistance, that lower frequency and says, “Okay, I agree we should do this” and points it right back at you. And that’s what’s so cool that the skin can be the biofeedback. But we can actually switch that. And like you said, use the higher frequencies to reprogram the cell to be eventually unconsciously conscious to where we don’t actually have to continually tell it, you don’t have to age and that we are going to age in reverse and all of these great things, because eventually the cell will hold that consciousness without us having to do it for it.   Dr. Debra Muth  10:53   That is such a great thought process. And I love that because the more we do things, right, it does become a subconscious thing. But we can do the negative to and that can stay in there. So we have a choice to bring in that positive message, or bring in that negative message to our bodies, it makes all the difference in the world. And I see this all the time in chronic illness in my practice, people who have been sick for a very long time, they’re in a really bad relationship. And they get out of the bad relationship. And all of a sudden, they’re not sick. And I’ve watched this now for 25 years, it happens continuously. And the same thing happens with our minds. It’s all about perception, right? It’s how we perceive things. And right now we can perceive things as being really bad, and really horrible and unknown. And the whole world is going to fall. Do the Chicken Little Thing; the sky is gonna fall because we don’t know what’s going on today. Or we can perceive and say, wait a minute, I have control over my life, over what I’m doing, over how my place is going to be, what I’m going to put in my brain, what I’m not going to put in my brain, what I’m going to put in my body, what I’m not. And that’s about as much control as we have is what we can do for ourselves. That is such a great place.   Jewels Arnes  12:08   It’s so beautiful. So for me, everything is consciousness, you know, everything is consciousness. And what we see within our reality is a direct reflection of the frequency or level of consciousness that we’re holding. And it only makes sense that that would be the same as if we bring that into the cells. And I think that’s the like, one piece that we haven’t really connected yet is okay. So we can go to all these really advanced places with our mind. But we can do the same with ourselves. Because like I said, science is proving now that our skin has its own consciousness, just like our heart, just like our organs, like they’re all interconnected. And it’s just a really beautiful way to just walk through life at a higher frequency. And if there was ever a time that holding a higher frequency is going to just have us flow through the chaos. It’s now.   Dr. Debra Muth  13:08   That is so true. So true. I remember a few years ago, I was in such a negative place, I was building my business, and we were going through a ton of challenges. And all I saw were all of the challenges. I didn’t see all the gifts that I was given, despite the challenges, and it was ugly. I mean, I was not a person you wanted to be around because it was always, you know, half full cup, not full cup. And someone said something to me, and it landed at the right time in the right place. And it was like, “life is nothing more than perception, and you have a right to choose how you perceive it every single day.” And I looked at them and thought, you know, you’re so right. Like, I’m perceiving everything in such a negative fashion. And I wasn’t sleeping and I was in pain. And I was this and that. And as soon as I took the power back and said no, wait, I’m going to perceive this as a positive thing. So even every negative thing we had I, my mind would automatically go to that negative place because it’s so easy to do that. But I’d switch it instantly. And I’d say okay, how do I want to perceive this? Is this a gift? Is this an opportunity? Or is there something bigger better coming out of this? Or do I want to perceive this as negative as it looks in presents itself right now. And I chose to look at all the the upper three and said I’m not looking at this negative anymore. And it was interesting what happened. All the negative people that were surrounding me, started to drop off. And I literally my entire practice changed. I lost 10 practitioners in a year’s time. And I sat back and thought oh my god, what am I doing wrong? And then I realized, no, wait, I’ve looked at this differently and those people don’t serve a purpose in my life anymore, because they’re the ones bringing the negative energy. And so we started a clean slate and started rebuilding, and it’s so much smoother and easier. And I’m floating through life because of exactly what you said, it’s that consciousness and how we perceive our lives around us. That’s all what it is.   Jewels Arnes  15:16   And love that. The other thing that came to me, as you were saying that is that, you know, once you kind of held that higher frequency of perception that you were actually we’re holding a higher frequency. And that’s like the perfect example of our reality, how it shifts when we hold a higher frequency, because those lower frequencies, they would either have to hire to when you were holding, or they would have to fall away. And, you know, the same thing happens with old belief systems or agreements that once we vibrate higher than them and choose something different, they go away. And so that was like the perfect reflection of the reality of what we can do with our bodies as well.   Dr. Debra Muth  16:05   Can you give us an example of if somebody wanted to do this with something they were having going on in their body, or their skin (there’s something they don’t like). How would they do a practice like this? Or what would they need to do to change that frequency for them?   Jewels Arnes  16:19   You know, and the easiest way for people that this is just like, wait, like, Okay, this is way out there. But it’s really not, you know, it can be just as simple as starting to recognize what you’re saying to yourself when you’re looking in the mirror and choosing if that’s really what the frequency that you want to have the reality or if you want to shift it into something more positive, just like you did with your business. That’s the easiest way. And of course, you know, using skincare that’s already coded to do that for you, it’s the frequencies are actually coded and added to a fifth dimensional element they call ORME or ORMUS, which is actually scientifically being proven to repair the DNA as well. You know, it’s, it’s doing it for you, until you’re really ready to meet that frequency. So even if you just use the skincare, eventually, you’re going to start to awaken to “oh my gosh, I’m thinking this about myself when I look in the mirror. I don’t want to do that anymore!” So it kind of awakens you to to get to that place. And then of course, after that, it would be coming into what we call DQ, which is Dermal Expression Cellular Upgrade. And for those that are just wanting to experience what that’s like, we have practitioners that are DQ certified, and you sit and they will go in and trace the frequency of your cell and clear toxicity that you know, and toxicity being the beliefs and agreements that have been made that are degenerating the cell. And then of course, we then we have a whole program that teaches you how to do that for yourself and to actually learn how to chase your own frequency and that’s for the people that are really ready to just be empowered and to take over: “Yes, I am controlling my body, I am in control of my life and I am going to learn to reprogram everything”. I say reprogram your cells or reprogram your life because it’s a direct reflection.    Wow, that is awesome. I love that. I didn’t realize that you had programs where you taught people those kinds of things and actually worked with them. And that could be used in so many different angles. If somebody was even having just some arthritis, you know, we say just arthritis, but that’s an inflammatory condition. There’s a path behind that, or all the way up to somebody who’s having some memory issues. And listeners remember, you know, when our DNA changes, and it misfires, that’s when we start to get disease, that’s when we start to get Alzheimer’s, dementia, cancer, things like that. So the healthier we can keep ourselves and the more regenerative they can be and more healing they can be, the less disease we’re going to have, which will keep you healthier, younger, longer, and make healthcare less expensive for you in the long run of things and you won’t be suffering so much.   Oh, beautiful. Yeah. You know, I, when you just said that last part, I was like, “I don’t even know the last time I’ve gone to a doctor!” You know, like it’s like, it really it changes everything. I actually, you know, just to go on a personal level I actually we just had the COVID-19 virus go through our family. And I did a lot of reprogramming around just the agreement that collective consciousness had decided of what this experience would be like and shifted it into an experience that I wanted to have. And I had a runny nose, I sneezed a lot and I was tired for four days. That was it. That’s it.   Dr. Debra Muth  20:16   I had a similar experience. I had COVID in September. And I was sick. I had a little bit of a fever, a little bit of a stuffy nose for a couple of days. And then I found out I had COVID. And then my mind went, “Oh my god, I have COVID!” And I said to my husband and my daughter, I said, “Okay, in case this goes south, here’s all our important papers.” And they were laughing at me. And my daughter’s like, “Mom, come on, you know all the things to do.” But you know, your brain goes there in that for a second. And then I did a lot like you did. I said, “No, wait, I have all the tools in my arsenal to help me make sure this does not go bad. I’m healthy, I’m young. You know, I know what supplements to take. I have a sauna. I know how I’m going to connect with my higher power. This is going to be okay.” And I had a very similar experience to you. I you know, runny nose stuffiness. The biggest problem for me was the fatigue. I worked through COVID I did all online virtual stuff. I worked everyday through COVID. But I was so exhausted. And that was the worst part for me was the exhaustion and it lasted about seven days. And then all of a sudden, one day I woke up, it was completely gone. And I was like, “Oh my gosh, this is so strange. It’s just gone just like that.” And I too, I think it was all of the things that I chose to do, to make sure that it was an outcome that was positive and didn’t go the wrong way.   Jewels Arnes  21:45   I love it. It just, you know, it shows that the environment that our our body is holding, which is our thoughts really can shift so much.    Dr. Debra Muth  21:57   It is so true. Can you share with us a unique story that really hits home for you about how this this process works with people/   Jewels Arnes  22:08   Let me think, this is my favorite story. This is probably my favorite one out of all of them. And I think that why it’s my favorite is how excited and just so genuinely surprised on how well it works is a client of mine. She started with the skincarem And you know, we have lots of different opportunities for people to experience what we do. But her goal was that when she went to get her, on her 16th birthday, to get her driver’s license test that she wouldn’t have to use glasses, and that she would look younger than her picture before. So she goes and she passed her eye exam without glasses. And she looked 10 years younger in her photo. Oh my gosh, that’s so amazing! Emoji, Emoji, Emoji, Emoji. I mean, it was just like, so excited!   Dr. Debra Muth  23:10   That is so exciting. I love that, you know, and really, if you have a goal like that, it’s just a matter of finding the right people to work with, to help you get that process happening. And, and this is where we can use truly, “all natural things”, to make a stay younger and healthier, where we don’t have to go to Botox and fillers and all those kinds of things. I’m not saying those things are bad if people want to do them, that’s fine. But if you truly want a natural approach to things, this is it people this is re purposing yourselves, regenerating them, and getting them to be healthy and plump and loving it so that you can look and feel great.   Jewels Arnes  23:53   I love that, you know, and going just into the more advanced part of it is, you know, the more that we just like with your experience, the more that we awaken to the choices in our life, whether it’s around aging, whether it’s around again, we have a DQ for the body for weight loss, and it’s where are you passionate? And then you know, move into that passion and create choices through that. And it’s really a pathway to enlightenment really, when it all comes down to it or you could say a pathway to happiness, and it’s learning to reprogram around how you’ve been programmed to exist to become something different. And that’s exactly what this process is all about.    Dr. Debra Muth  24:40   I love that you know, and we can reprogram ourselves, it’s never too late. That’s the other piece. Even if you’re listening to this and you’re 60 or 70, it is not too late to do some of these things and reprogram yourself and have a better version of you. So don’t ever give up on that. Because there are just so many amazing things coming to light in the alternative world that help us, we just need to share the information so that people have access to things, this isn’t mainstream, you’re not going to hear it on news media, you’re not going to see a radio ad for it. We share things by sharing programs like this, so people know what’s going on and we can reach the masses, because that’s what we need to do. If we want to stay young and healthy, we need to reach people with information like this. So share this if you’re listening and you know, someone that might benefit from this, and I’d say everybody could benefit from this, but share this with people because it’s, it’s time. It’s time for this to get out there.   Jewels Arnes  25:40   And love that. That’s what we say- the time is now. And you know, and we have 80 year olds in our programs, and we’re literally teaching them how to get on Zoom into all this, but they’re so passionate about, just you know, even just sitting in the frequency of what we’re doing is, is changing people’s lives. Because it is, it’s just like with, you know, with you, unfortunately, you lost a lot of your practitioners, but just sitting in the space of someone that wants a higher frequency gives us an opportunity to also resonate in that frequency as well. And if, if you’re choosing it, it only, it only makes sense that you’ll raise to that frequency. And that’s just the beginning of changing our lives.    Dr. Debra Muth  26:23   Oh, absolutely. I love that. So Jewels, if people are listening to this, and they want to try your skincare line or get into a DQ program with you, how do they do that?   Jewels Arnes  26:34   Well, if they want to just go to http://www.eternalgoldbeauty.com, you see the two stores. We have the DQ store, and then the product store. You know, and then I also invite you into our free Facebook group, which is Eternal Frequency (https://www.facebook.com/groups/EternalFrequency). And every Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday, we have a live, where you can come into the community room and get a free reading. Or we do Angel Readings, we do Universal Readings. And we do a skincare Q&A like and so we have so many opportunities, just first of all, to become part of a community that holds a really high frequency. And then also to just learn about what we do in just a really easy, gifted way.   Dr. Debra Muth  27:18   Oh, I love that. That is so awesome. So for those of you who are listening to us in your driving, don’t worry about stopping to write this down, we will have all of this information on the Let’s Talk Wellness Now page, and it will be on our Facebook and our website, and you’ll get a link to it. So you’ll know exactly how to get ahold of Jewels. Jewels, is there anything else you’d love to share with our listeners today?   Jewels Arnes  27:44   Oh gosh, the pressure! You know, I think when it all comes down to it that my biggest passion is reprogramming what it is to be human. And to never, like limit ourselves to the in the experience that we’re having. And oh, and that’s why I say “The time is now”. But not only is it now, but there’s always a next, it’s like, every time we think it can’t get better, there’s always a next, there’s always a next. And if we limit ourselves within just thinking that our experience is all there is we’re not going to open up to the next. And there’s just such a big passion for me around that. And to coaches like really to the extreme. It’s, there’s nothing that we can’t do. And we are that powerful. And it’s available to each and every person, if that becomes a passion of theirs and a focus. And it really does start there. It’s like you know, create the intention, and then enter the flow of the universe. And life just happens.   Dr. Debra Muth  28:56   I love that. I love that. And then you flow through life a little bit easier. Instead of doing these big ups and downs of the mountains and climbing, you’ll flow through and you’ll know what’s meant to be for you, you know what your next step is supposed to be. Because it’ll always be delivered to you, if you open up that flow.   Jewels Arnes  29:16   It’s a way of life I call it “living in the magic” because really another part of that is is learning to live beyond what I call the “filing cabinet of our mind” and really just existing in that space. And that’s not an easy thing to do. And that’s how we all of our classes are actually developed around teaching one to do that to exist beyond just the “filing cabinet” of the mind. Because when we learn how to how to do that is really when we enter like I said the what I call the “magic”.    Dr. Debra Muth  29:50   The consciousness, right?    Jewels Arnes  29:51   Yeah.   Dr. Debra Muth  29:52   Because if you’re in the file cabinet all the time, you’re always thinking and feeling like you have to push it, right? It’s your mind. If you get out of that space, then that’s when life flows. And you may in some respect not feel like you have a lot of control over that, but we don’t really have control over life anyway. If we think we do, we’re fooling ourselves. It’s really the universe, or the power, whatever you want to call it. It’s really that magic that’s guiding us anyway. And if it’s meant to be for us, it’ll happen. And if it’s not meant to be for us, that door is going to be closed. But there’ll be another door that will always be opened for you. And that’s what we have to trust him and believe in.   Jewels Arnes  29:54   Yeah. And, you know, we’re just not programmed to exist in trust. We’re programmed to keep ourselves safe, and we have to survive, you know. That’s the beautiful thing about awakening into these higher states of consciousness is that we don’t have to live in the way that we were programmed, and that we can actually create new higher level programs to exist in and this is just the pathway to that. It’s moving out of trying to make life happen  into co-creation.    Dr. Debra Muth  31:05   I love that. I love that. Well, I know you are a busy lady, I don’t want to take up too much of your time today. We could talk for hours, though, about this. So thank you so much for joining the show today. And I’d love to have you back and talk even deeper on this subject.   Jewels Arnes  31:21 Thank you so much. And I would I would just love that. Thank you.  
30 minutes | 2 months ago
Episode 88: Dating after loss – Interview with Maria Romano
How to get back into the dating world after losing your husband. Maria believes having good health relates to having good relationships with ourselves and with a partner. When you are in a healthy relationship you are healthier, happier, and live longer. Find Maria Romano here: https://trueloveknots.com/ on Facebook , Instagram and  LinkedIn [07:38] – Transitioning from a previous longterm relationship into a new relationship. [16:34] – Three important steps you can take when you are ready to start seeking a new relationship. [21:31] – The power of a weekly date night with your partner. “Take care of yourself first, before you try to take care of another Transcript for Episode 88: Dating after loss – Interview with Maria Romano   Dr. Debra Muth  3:25   Welcome, Maria. I’m so excited to have you here. And I’m excited to have this conversation with you today.   Maria Romano  3:33   Oh, thank you so much. You know, Debra, I’m excited too, because people will say health and wellness love, but boy, does it really make a difference with your emotions and how you feel physically, mentally, spiritually, makes all the difference in the world.    Dr. Debra Muth  3:48   That is so true. I mean, for years, I’ve been watching and working with women, and if they get out of an unhealthy relationship, it’s amazing how physically, a lot of their ailments go away once they’re either out of that relationship or into a more healthy relationship, it’s significant.   Maria Romano  4:07   Yes, that is true. Because you know what, when you really are depressed, you’re just not happy. You don’t feel like the relationship is serving you well, you’re right, what happens to your body, your body breaks down. And I think it could be a depression could go into a couple of different things. It can go into anxiety, right? It can go into obesity, then you can have hypertension, and you know, yourself being a Nurse Practitioner. And then it can also maybe cause addictions and heart issues. And it’s a myriad of things that as we get older, you know, we have to watch our plumbing, it’s important!   Dr. Debra Muth  4:41   That is so true. It is so true. So tell us about your journey. How did you get interested in relationships and helping people have better relationships?   Maria Romano  4:52   Well, that’s a really good question. And I’m going to try to give you the Reader’s Digest. I was in the rental car industry for many, many years. I worked with my husband there. I was married for over 33 years. Eight years ago, my husband, Frank, passed away. And he passed away- actually, he had a heart transplant 15 years prior to losing him. So yeah, I got to, you know, work around a lot of people as far as organ donation, so on and so forth. So we’re really blessed, I felt like, we always knew that we had a life on because he was a heart transplant recipient. So we made sure that we didn’t go to bed angry, and we did those things that were very important to us. And that’s what really makes a relationship. So I was only 57 at the time. And I waited a couple of years. And you know, I kind of started thinking to myself, you know, I really want to find love again. But I don’t know how and it’s true. You don’t know how, and I thought, “Oh, I’m single people are gonna want to go out with me”. Was I so wrong? Okay, you have to make an effort. It’s like saying, hey, world, I’m here, I want you to hire me. But you have to right, you have to put forth the effort. So I started going out organically. And you know, it was okay. I met somebody, it was great. It didn’t work out for a while. And then I my friend said to me are you really should think about getting back into the dating world and figure out a date, you need to go online. And there are so many stories that you hear. And especially when you get to a certain age in life, you hear these horror stories that people get taken advantage of financially, physically, emotionally. And that could be with anything you do. So I started dating online, and but I realized that there was a need, because there was a lot of people and I met a lot of people in my age, they were 50, 60, 70s and beyond. And you know what, it was almost as if they two didn’t know what to do, and not just maneuvering the dating platforms digitally. But also, there’s a chapter in my book, which I just released, and there’s a chapter called Boomers Adolescence, we can talk about the social detoxing in a moment. But what happens is, we all of a sudden, because we don’t know what to do, that adolescence sets in, right? And then, all of a sudden, we meet somebody, and we’re texting them 20 times a day, right? It’s almost like calling them. So you know, they didn’t know what to do. And it’s a matter of getting control of their emotions, and some people were being taken advantage of. And I decided my sister said to me, have you thought about getting out there and helping people because I was going to go the inspirational route, and try to ra-ra people into you know, finding your mojo, again, when you hit your 60s. And I said, You know what, I can probably serve them well helping them because there’s nothing-listen, it’s always nicer when you have somebody in your life that you can share with but it’s got to be the right person. That’s the key.   Dr. Debra Muth  7:56   That is key. I mean, you can share with a friend, but you don’t share everything with them. But it has to be somebody, that you can trust, that you respect, and that respects you. And you’re kind of on that level playing field for a lot of people so that you’ve you feel like you’re leveling up and you’re even and you’re not leveling down somewhere and taking care of another child, right?   Maria Romano  8:19   Oh, gosh, that is so true. That’s what happens is people get desperate, because they feel this mortality clock ticking, right? We had the biological clock, when we’re younger, we got to hurry up, we want to have children. And now we get to a certain age and I see it a lot in the 60s and 70s, even 50 year olds, it’s a you know, I got to meet somebody right away. I don’t want to be by myself. And even now with this, I call it pandemic-paranoia, people get the same way too. They think they need to find someone and latch on to somebody. And yes, we are made, you know, for wired for connection. There isn’t any question about that. But it’s a matter. And we see other people too, like we get onto social media and all of our friends are celebrating with their husbands, their wives, and we’re thinking why not me? So but it’s a matter of really taking the time because when you choose somebody at this juncture in life, especially if you’ve come out of a long term relationship, whether you’re widowed or widower, or if you’re divorced, and you have some of those residuals from your past relationship maybe. You need to think about what you want going forward. And I mean, seriously, think about that. And it’s not an hour. Sometimes it takes quite a bit of time before you realize the type of person you want.   Dr. Debra Muth  9:34   Absolutely. You know at this age, like you said, we have different things that we’re looking for. It’s not just a physical attraction so much. Yes, that’s important. But I think there’s an intellectual connection that we want to make. And we also don’t as women, we don’t want to lose who we are or who we’ve become in a relationship, especially if we’ve done that in the past. We don’t want to make that same as going forward again.   Maria Romano Oh, isn’t that the case? And that’s where I talk about dysfunctional detox in my book. Well, it is when you think about it, right?  Because there’s like four areas that I tell my clients and I even shared this, I do a Facebook Live Monday night, and I just give information and put it out there. With basically, you know, you should think about what serves you in your last relationship, what attracted you to that individual? And then maybe what attracted you with that individual, then evolve where you loathed them for that. So if somebody was a workaholic, and you admired them, and you loathed that later on to the relationship, but then also, you need to look at what could you have done differently? And really, what hand did you have in the destruction of the relationship? Because it always takes two as much as we hate to say that we make mistakes, we’re not perfect.   Dr. Debra Muth Absolutely, absolutely. Maria, what does somebody do, you know, if you’re in a long term relationship, you’ve gotten comfortable. A lot of times, we don’t have to work very hard at things because we’ve accepted each other for where we are and what we are. And I know in a lot of long term relationships, people have created their own life inside of that relationship. But when you’re starting a new relationship, it takes a lot more energy and more time commitment to get to know one another. To get to that comfort level. What kind of advice do you have for people with that transition?   Maria Romano  11:39   Well, if you’re been in a long term relationship, that’s true, we do get comfortable with that relationship, we almost have our micro lives, which in the lives of a couple, and if that works for you, that’s great. But whether you have starting a new relationship, or you’ve been in a relationship, there’s always a time you need to recharge that relationship, because you don’t want to get complacent. You know, at the beginning, Debra, right, we meet somebody, and it’s like that Stormin Norman stage, you know, weust can’t keep our hands off each other, we want to know everything about them. And we do look at that person, sometimes through rose-colored glasses. That’s where you need to make sure that you have somebody that can give you an objective viewpoint, and not your friends, because sometimes your friends will, you’ll share something, and folk sort of hold that against maybe the other person, okay? Or think you’re making a mistake. Family is like, the worst thing sometimes to bring into the picture. And that’s why I always recommend a coach. And even though dating coaches is still something that’s relatively new, and especially when you get to our ages, we think we know it all, right? W should know this, because we lived it. And it’s not necessarily the case, sometimes you need to take a step backwards, and have somebody you know, have you look at the situation from the outside in, and in a new relationship, you know, when you’re going through that you need to take a step back and not rush. You know, I know many individuals spoke to a client, you know, a couple of weeks ago, and she met somebody, had met him over the internet, they had conversations for a month, and he came down to Vegas met her, and then they decided they were going to move in together right away. You really need to take your time. Because it takes nine months to a year before you really get to know somebody.   Dr. Debra Muth  13:26   What advice do you have for people who’ve been in a long term marriage, especially like 50, 60, 70 year olds who stayed in a bad marriage because it was their duty? Or that was the commitment they made from their religious background? And now they’re kind of like, yeah, that relationship’s gone, either the person passed away or whatever. But now they’re tainted, and they don’t necessarily want to go into a relationship again, because they’re afraid they’re going to have that same bad relationship.   Maria Romano Yeah, and that does happen quite a bit, especially now. Because amongst baby boomers, we have about 50% divorce rate happening, because people have stayed together, you’re right, because the children religious, you know, reasons, whatever it is, maybe for monetary reasons. So whether you’re a widow, widow or divorce, and you did, maybe you’ve had, you know, again, you’ve had those residuals. So first of all, if you feel that you’re at a point where you don’t need anybody, then you know what you that’s something that’s a choice you have to make. But I have to tell you, at the end of the day, and I run into a lot of people that used to think that way, especially women, women are hit, they hit their 50s and 60s, okay, they figured all right. They’re not taking care of a husband anymore. Okay? They don’t have to take care of any kids. It’s a choice when they spend time with their grandkids. So they’re spending a lot of time with their girlfriends. But then there was a study that I read about, I believe it was through the Huffington Post, they did a study with, I think it was UCLA, where then this same group of women, they talked to them later on where they realize that they waited too long. They wanted to meet somebody and they felt now they were in their 60s, 70s and they had that span where they weren’t getting any younger, so they didn’t feel as desirable. Well, first of all, you know what, it doesn’t matter, you know, love, definitely you can find love no matter what age you are. So that I can attest to because I marry people too. But I’ve had people meet in their 80s and 90s, so it doesn’t matter. And they do find love. But yes, if you’re really tainted, and you really have a lot of residuals, but you think you might want to move forward. And even if you don’t, in a relationship, that’s the time maybe you need to seek out a really good therapist, because there’s nothing wrong, because that will give you more insight into who you are, and be open with any relationship, you might decide you meet somebody of the opposite sex, that it could be platonic, but a really close platonic relationship. So for those of you, find somebody that’s a really good therapist, that you feel you can trust. Definitely, that is so that you can get rid of, you know, those residuals.   Dr. Debra Muth Yeah, I think that’s one of the problems that a lot of us feel like, once that relationship is over, we don’t have to process what happened in it. And oftentimes, even if we didn’t deal with it during the relationship, we still need to process what happened and how that changed our lives. Because I see a lot of bitterness and women, that they couldn’t do this, because of, you know, I had children or my husband or I had to take care of or whatever. And then there are 50, or 60. And they’re like, my life could have been different if, and it still could be different, maybe they can’t do everything the same. But I think they still need to process those feelings. And those challenges that happen through their life to go on and have a better relationship, not even with someone else, but just to be happy with themselves in their own life.   Maria Romano That is true. And you know, I find that amongst more of the baby boomers and the generation which is older, which is called the silent generation. Because we women were just coming out, you know, Gloria Steinem came out, it was all the women movement, and that started in the 70s. Whereas I think you have people 50 and younger have a different concept. So yes, you know, we did wind to doing things and staying at home and foregoing our needs and our needs from physically to and even in our sexual needs as well. Not learning how to ask for what we want, you know, in life, and even in the bedroom too, because we felt it was taboo, that we should just wind up, you know, settling for what we have, and there’s a bitterness and some people too feel like why do I want to meet somebody? I didn’t have good sex then, am I going to have good sex now? And that’s not necessarily the case. And not just the sexual side, but there’s that intimacy side. People think intimacy is sex, and it’s not and you can really have a healthy, healthy relationship. But you’re right, it starts it starts with you. That’s the first thing.    Dr. Debra Muth Absolutely. So I’m really intrigued by your title The Love Knots. How did you come up with that?   Maria Romano  18:07   Well, true love knots was actually love knots was developed by my late husband, because over 11 years ago, after we sold our rental car company, I decided I wanted to perform wedding ceremonies. I went to a wedding, I saw women in Las Vegas. And then I said I can do that. So I started studying online, you know, different ceremonies, I went out, and I hit the pavement in my shoes, went to all the chapels and gave them you know, my resume and I did a mock wedding. And that’s when we came up with love knots. And then true is something we just added to it because people seem to gravitate towards the true. So I’m first of all, I’m a wedding officiant. So I love meeting people, and I love hearing their story. And I’ve performed probably about 3000 weddings over the last 11 years, which is great, and commitment ceremonies and vow renewals. But then part of the true love nots is finding true love again. That’s the key. Anybody can find love again, it’s just a matter of your mindset, and making sure that you have a healthy version of you first.   Dr. Debra Muth  19:10   That’s awesome. So if somebody is in that position where they’re ready to start exploring a new relationship, what kind of steps would you have them walk through, if you could give them their first most three important steps to do to find that what would that be?    Maria Romano  19:28   Well, first of all, if you’re going if you met somebody that meets your list your “must-haves”, Okay, and that’s the key thing. And that’s the main thing. And if you meet somebody and they don’t qualify on the must haves, for example, let’s say you enjoy family and you enjoy children, and you meet somebody that doesn’t enjoy the children’s time and you say well, maybe they’ll grow into it. So the first thing is going into a relationship -don’t think you can ever change anybody. We thought that when we’re younger And I hate to say it is it isn’t going to happen now, because change is so hard. So that’s the first thing you need to do. And the second thing you need to do is as you’re going into the relationship, try to think from the waist up and not the waist down. Because it happens, I mean, these hormones are going, and again, we see everything through rose-colored glasses. And the third thing is, is you know what, we’re never going to find the perfect person. That’s the key thing. And we’re all as you spend time with this individual, there’s things you’re going to like and everything to know, like, you might have little pet peeves. And as long as it’s not something that really irks you, like, if you are not a smoker, and you don’t want to be with somebody that’s a smoker, for example, don’t think that they’ll eventually quit. Things like that, yes, you know, then it goes back to, if it doesn’t hit your bucket list to begin with, you shouldn’t start the relationship. Okay, so that’s the key thing. And the third is just really enjoy each other, for who you are. And that’s the key thing, just have fun. Because it’s just getting to know somebody, it’s not like you’re putting a contract together for life.   Dr. Debra Muth  21:05   I love that those are really important things. Because I think those are some of the easiest places that we will compromise on. Because you’re right in our mind will be like, well, they’ll change, they’ll be different. And, ladies, if they haven’t changed in 40 years, they’re not going to change. Just like you if you have a habit that you haven’t changed in 40 years, you’re not going to change that habit either. And so accept the person for who they are. But I agree with you if you have your have lists, and that is a must have don’t compromise, because you’ll find yourself in a position where you’re going to be disappointed again.   Maria Romano Oh, gosh, isn’t that the catcher? Yeah, definitely. It is. I do agree with you, Debra.   Dr. Debra Muth So if you’re in a long term relationship, so somebody who’s been married 25-30 years, and they’re finding that that relationship is getting a little stale, what kind of recommendations do you have for them to rekindle that relationship and make it have spark again?   Maria Romano Oh, that’s reigniting the passion, right?   Dr. Debra Muth Yes.   Maria Romano  22:08   And people seem to think that when you reignite the passion, it’s always the bedroom. And it really isn’t the bedroom that starts it off. What you want to start doing is you want to start trying to find some activities that you enjoy together. Now in the normal world, you can go out and take dance lessons. Okay? Always fun. It’s always a lot of fun. And that does create that chemistry there, as well. And you can take dance lessons online as well, which is fun. Cooking is a lot of chemistry together, what happens is, like you were talking about before we get, we get comfortable, and we have our own micro lives within our life with somebody. So maybe one person’s always done the cooking. So how about being that sous chef and helping them, which is something else. Because what you want to do is you want to start creating that chemistry that will lead to that intimacy ultimately, and where you really, you can’t keep your hands off from each other. And I don’t mean you have to have the full blown act of sex but you want to, you know, you want to embrace those times, and you want to reintroduce them again, and have that excitement. Another thing that you can do is if you really daring and you have the money, you can go take lessons learn how to fly. Now I heard that really does that adrenaline gets going. But you know, even if you if your spouse plays golf, and you never have start to get involved, you know, really start trying to mingle into their lives, because what happens is, is when you’ve been in that long term relationship, again, you have your separate lives. And you really, you want to have the time to yourself with your friends, but you also want to have some really good quality time, those will help you in the steps and recognizing that it’s also intimacy by just grabbing somebody’s hand just looking at them knowing when you’re at a cocktail party, you glanced at them across the room. You’ve got a lot of history with them, and you have spent a lot of time with them. So that’s one of the benefits you have when you have a good long term relationship. But again, you have to keep rekindling that too, and don’t always leave it up to the women, if any guys are listening!   Dr. Debra Muth  24:13   That’s right. That’s right. I think that’s so important because I think your relationship gets so comfortable, right? And, and we’re such busy people doing our own thing I know, I’ve been married 30 years. And it gets comfortable. And a few years ago, I had to go back and say to my husband, you know, I love the relationship that we have together. I love that you let me be me, and that you can be you. But I’m feeling like a little bored being us. And we realized that after 30 years of raising children and running businesses and being busy that we just weren’t taking the time to be with one another. And so we started doing Date Night and just said, okay, Friday nights, whatever night, if we can’t do Friday, we’ll pick another night of the week. But that’s date night. And we’re going to go out and there’s no talking about the kids, no talking about our businesses, just focusing on us. And having that time that we reconnect with one another and get connected with what we want from one another because you assume that you know, but you might not know each other might change a little bit. And that made a big difference for us to just focus that time on one another again. And even though it was only one day, it made such a huge difference with everything that we did in our lives and how we looked at each other. Um, but it’s important to do that.   Maria Romano  25:41   Oh, it is. And that definitely, again, that sparked your relationship. Traveling when we can start traveling, which is another thing too that also creates that chemistry. But yeah, you bring up something that’s interesting, because yes, we go through that boredom in the relationship, but now what’s going on I think in the world, you have burnout happening to some women that are younger, because their shoulders, they have a big responsibility, a lot of people are working from home, and then you’re having to take care of a family. And then you have to help the kids because they’re on Zoom now. They might not be in school. So this is the time where then you are sacrificing yourself and your relationship. And that’s where you got to kind of find that balance. Because you can’t turn around and sacrifice your relationship with your significant other, you need to just kind of figure out what’s going to work and like even if it’s a date afternoon, or wherever it is just going for a walk with each other makes all the difference in the world.   Dr. Debra Muth  26:39   You’re so right. I mean, we hear it every day women talking to us about how stressed they are with having to teach from home, and they’re working from home and their partners are working from home. And they’ve got you know, four or five people on the computer, and they’re making dinner and they’re doing everything and they’re just like, I can’t do everything anymore. And again, men if you’re listening not to bash you, but pay attention to what’s happening and reach out and help because women are getting really burnt out with having to be responsible for everything. And if they’re burnt out in their life, they’re going to be burnt out in the bedroom, because they’re going to be exhausted, and there’s nothing left for us to give you. And it’s not that we don’t love you. It’s just that we have nothing left to give, we need to be filled up somehow.   Maria Romano  27:25   That’s true. And I just listened to a podcast about that one of the things we need to do, we need to make sure as a family, we get together and we love on each other and relieve each other. And recognize that when mom is taxed, and she doesn’t have enough sleep, let mom get her sleep and have somebody take it over. Because ultimately, usually the family burden shifts on to the woman when it comes to that. That and you know the spectrum as far as taking care of everybody. So yes, take care of yourself first. That’s the first thing.    Dr. Debra Muth  27:56   Absolutely, it’s kind of like the airplane thing. Put your own mask on first before you help someone else. Because if you don’t, you’re not going to be there to help that person. And so we can’t pamper ourselves as much as we used to pre-COVID with, you know, salon and a massage and all of those kinds of things. But definitely, you know, take that hot bath, close the door, put some candles on, put some soft music on, have your glass of wine or grape juice, whatever you want, that makes you feel good, so that you can be there for you the rest of your family when they need you to be.   It’s true. That is so true. And I love your advice to have that glass of wine, a cup of tea and a grape and have a few minutes to yourself. And you’d be surprised how that can really rejuvenate you. And it does make all the difference in the world.   Absolutely, absolutely. So I would love what other advice do you have for our listeners? Um, you have a book that came out tell us a little bit about your book.   Maria Romano  28:55   Yes, it’s called “Going From Just One To a Plus One”. And when I started writing the book last year, it was because I wanted people to recognize that you can date successfully because we hear all these horror stories about getting back in the dating world. And you know, people just don’t give you good advice. And then in light of what happened with the pandemic, oh my gosh, people were feeling even more lonely than ever. And they felt they were stymied and they didn’t know how to get out there and find love again. So the book really is a just a nice guide, it’s less than 100 pages. And the book just takes you through the journey of who you are making sure that you work on who your authentic you, is getting back to that. And finding out what what you want in a person. But also to make sure when you get into the dating world, that you develop the confidence because you know, when you get in the dating world, you can get your rear end kicked, your confidence gets shattered, and you have to just be able to pick yourself up and move on. So I have different stories about that. And then of course when you meet somebody what to do not to overreact. We’re excited we meet somebody, we just we think that’s the one and don’t rush anything. Because you know, your mother waited nine months for you, Rome wasn’t built in a day. And especially at this journey of your life, you want to take your time, because you want that person that you pick that special person to be with you for the rest of your life or their life, whoever it is, and you want somebody that you can really that can be there for you. Because as we get a little older, things can change for us, even physically, and you want to know you’ve made the right choice with somebody there that’s going to be there for you.   Dr. Debra Muth  30:40   That is so true. That is so true. Maria, where can they find your book?   Maria Romano  30:45   My book is on Amazon. So it’s “Going From Just One To a Plus One”. When you RSVP to events you’re two, plus one. When you’re single, right, you’re just one. So I’m there. And then also True Love Knots. I have a link. And my knots is KNOTS and I’m rolling out a membership program on dating. That’ll be coming out in October. And it’s a very, very affordable program where it gives everybody a half an hour a month free coaching, all my digital classes. And it’s a whopping $27 a month.    Dr. Debra Muth  31:19   I love that. I love that. That is great. So it has been a pleasure having this conversation with you today. I so appreciate your time. Is there anything else advice-wise or tips? You want to leave our listeners?   Maria Romano  31:34   Yes, I do. And what what I want to say to anybody out there listening no matter what age you are, you can find love again, no matter where you’re at in life. And you will find love again. So have faith. But make sure you choose a path that’s good for you and that you’re comfortable with. And always go with your gut when you meet somebody make sure that tummy feels good.   Dr. Debra Muth  31:57   Mm hmm. I love that. Thank you.  
38 minutes | 3 months ago
Episode 86: Work Less and Earn More – Interview with Jarrod Haning
Jarrod shares how you can work less and earn more! There is a lot of anxiety in the world right now. Jarrod shares his story of performance anxiety and how he overcame this and provides you with tools that you can use. [10:02] – Can we train to have the brain we want, or are we stuck with what we have?[17:47] – Conquering anxiety and imposter syndrome[27:43] – Advise for people who feel their brain works against them getting things done. Book: https://www.mindsetperformance.co/book.html Social Media & Website: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jarrod-haning-5831578/ https://www.youtube.com/user/jehudemus https://www.facebook.com/haning https://www.facebook.com/MindsetSpeaker/
29 minutes | 3 months ago
Episode 85: Detox and Epigenetics with Dr. Ashley Beckman
Dr. Ashley shares how to use genetics to identify the best foods to eat, supplements and best way to detox your body. 4:44 How does Dr Ashley help people to implement a good lifestyle with genes susceptible to diseases?9:57 Dr Ashley talks about how detox and genetics play a role together.18:30 What are some Detox methods that Dr Ashley would recommend?22:37 What role does epigenetic play in the health of the body? “We’re here on this earth and we should be able to live in it well, without reacting when somebody walks by with perfume.” http://www.drashley.com/ https://www.facebook.com/goldenpathalchemy https://www.instagram.com/drashleybeckman/
14 minutes | 4 months ago
Episode 84: COVID Vaccine Safety
What do I do? Get the coronavirus vaccine or not? Get sick or not? Infect my family or not? Is it safe? Dr. Deb shares her wisdom on the coronavirus vaccine and what she is recommending people do. “I am not anti vaccine, and I’m not pro vaccine either. I am for safe vaccines.” [2:07] Not anti vaccine. Not pro vaccine. Pro safe vaccine! [4:24] Why I am skeptical of a safe COVID-19 Vaccine. [7:00] Deb shares her beliefs on vaccinations. [9:24] Avoid being an early adopter when it comes to vaccines and new medications in the market Hello, Let’s Talk Wellness Now group I am so excited to be here with you guys today and share my topic which is the coronavirus vaccine. Should I get it or shouldn’t I get it? You know if you’re like me, you’re sick and tired of hearing about the Coronavirus and COVID-19. And it is just all in consuming from us. But we are in the midst of a Media outbreak on this. And they don’t seem to have anything else that they can talk about these days, which is fine for now. But eventually it will have to go away. And the next news blitz that we’re going to be hearing about is we now have a coronavirus vaccine. And I’m going to tell you that this really frightens me, because for several reasons. This frightens me, because we have been trying to get a Coronavirus vaccine in animals, specifically cats for decades and have been failing miserably to get this because the virus is so volatile, and it changes and mutate so much that they have not been able to come up with a safe vaccine. And for us to think that we can come up with a vaccine for humans, in a fraction of the time that they’ve been trying for decades in the animal world just is amazing to me. It just really is amazing to me. Now, some of you who’ve heard me speak before, you know, I’m not pro vaccine. I’m not anti vaccine, either. I’m pro safe, anything medical. And if something isn’t safe, I don’t like it. You know, I’m here to tell you what the side effects are and what the risk factors are. And what’s included in these things. Whether we all want to hear it or not. And so that’s why I’m doing this show today on Coronavirus vaccine. I will tell you I’ve been very skeptical, skeptical from the beginning on this whole vaccine piece a partially because Bill Gates is involved, but be how did we start talking about the demand and the need for a vaccine right at the onset of a huge outbreak? And how did all of this happen to come about? Just at the same time that Netflix was releasing its movie pandemic? And it’s outlining absolutely every single thing that’s happening to us right now on our planet, exactly the way it was portrayed by Bill Gates in his people in his movie. It’s just too coincidental to me. Call me a conspiracy theorist. That’s okay. I look at coincidences I look at where’s the money trail? I look at who’s backing What? Because nine times out of 10. That’s the person that’s the driving force behind all of it is who’s the money trail? And he is the money trail. Let me tell you. So I want to just share a little bit of my thoughts on Coronavirus vaccine because I get this question asked a lot (literally every day), “Do you think I should get the vaccine?” from my clients. And all of my clients I give the same answer to and the answer is “No, I don’t. I don’t think anybody should be getting the Coronavirus vaccine.” Now I’m going to get people that are going to backlash on that and not be happy. But here’s my concern. The typical development of a vaccine is many years; 3, 5, 7, 10 years in development of a vaccine coming to market, a safe vaccine. So unless they can show me that they’ve been developing this vaccine for that length of time. I’m not comfortable saying it’s a safe vaccine to give to our clients because my clients then become the guinea pig. And their study of 3, 5, 7 and 10 year data becomes my clients. And I’m not willing to have my clients be the guinea pigs. Now if people know you’re a guinea pig, and you want to take that risk if you want to be the guinea pig, that’s totally different. But when you’re riding on someone’s fear of developing Coronavirus to be the guinea pig, no, no no not just for the development of a ton of money for a pharmaceutical company. I say no to those kinds of things. Now, if you’ve been developing this for all these years, then I want to question Who let loose the virus? Was it really Chinese virus? Or did it come from our own people? Because they needed a platform to sell their big huge Coronavirus vaccine. I’m always questioning, I always am following who’s the money trail, remember. So that’s why I’m asking these questions. And I think everybody else should be asking these questions as well. If you don’t ask the logical questions, you don’t get the answers that you need. You’re only getting an answer that’s posed from the traditional system that says, “Yes, everybody should get it. Yes, everyone should get the flu shot. Yes, everyone should get the pneumonia shot. Yes, everyone should get this.” Well, guess what people, we are not all 100%. And not everybody should be getting everything. Because it’s not safe for everybody. You know, I see this argument a lot between people being mean to one another, especially to the Moms that choose not to vaccinate. And I’m here to tell you, you don’t know that Mom’s story. You don’t know if she has children that have been affected by vaccines previous to this child, you don’t know if she has a sibling. You don’t know her genetic history or her genetic makeup. We don’t know anything about them, other than they’ve chosen not to vaccinate, and they have a reason. And thank God in this country, we still have that, right. So what I believe in vaccination is it needs to be safe. I don’t believe that children should be getting 5, 7, 8 vaccines on one day, I think that’s overkill. I think that’s very hard on the immune system. And the body doesn’t have the ability to deal with that many bacterial and viral loads at one time. And the immune system isn’t strong enough to do that. I do believe that kids that have the potential for having problems, need to know whether or not they carry genetic risks that prevent them from being able to utilize that vaccine properly. And thank goodness Allah test just came out with a new test that allows us to determine whether or not somebody has allergies to the ingredients that are in these vaccines. And it’s about a 12 ingredient list of things that are in these vaccines that people can be allergic to. And this test just recently came out, but it is available, it’s a blood test that can be done so you can see if you or your child has an allergic reaction to the main ingredients, or the inert ingredients that are in these vaccines that typically can cause problems. And if you do, you need to know that before you go ahead and make the decision as to whether or not you want this particular vaccine. Now, I personally don’t like this vaccine. And I don’t like the manipulation of some of the things that they’re putting in the vaccine. And I know people are conspiracy theorists and talking about them, putting tracking devices and things that can control us and all of that in the vaccines. And if that is true, we are in for a ton of mess with this vaccine. And if it’s not true, okay, then we have another vaccine and another virus that we’re exposing everyone to but do you know in this vaccine, right now, the way they’re talking is going to be a live vaccine. So you’re going to give yourself live active Coronavirus? Is that something that you want? When we did that in the Lyme community back in the 70s, we gave an awful lot of people Lyme disease and didn’t realize it until it was pulled from the market. I do not like this vaccine because it’s being pushed to market. I don’t like it because we haven’t seen the safety statistics for a long enough period of time for it yet. If they can provide that data, I will always take a look at it differently. But until they can provide that data, I always tell my patients do not be the first person out of the gate for anything. Let it sit on the market for three to five years before you get involved in taking a new drug or vaccine. So you can see the ramifications that are going to occur in the masses, not in a small amount of people. Remember, these studies are small. We’re not talking about hundreds of thousands of people in these studies, you know, we’re talking 10,000 people maybe at the most, these are not large groups of people that are being tested for safety, it is very small. And I think we need to be very cautious. Now I’ve had the virus, so I should have antibodies to this virus, and I shouldn’t have to get a vaccine in order to have antibodies to it. Now some of you may think you’ve been exposed to the virus as well, and can do antibody testing to see if your body has been exposed to this virus and you have created antibodies, and then you don’t have to worry about developing the illness itself. So if that is the case, I would encourage you to get some blood testing done from a reputable source, where you can see whether or not you have these antibodies present in your body, and therefore you won’t need the vaccine. Now, I hope this has really helps you guys, I know this idea of the vaccine is being touted as the thing that is going to protect all of us and make us all better. But here’s what I want to leave you with. What does the flu virus do? Every single year, the flu virus attacks millions of people, several hundred thousand people die 60, 70, 80,000 people die every year from the flu. We have a flu vaccine that we give every single year. The majority of the population take it. The majority of the population that get the flu vaccine will tell you I don’t know why I got the flu vaccine because I still got sick with the flu. And out of that there’s going to be a percentage of people that are going to tell you they feel like they were more ill from the vaccine than if they would have not gotten the flu shot and they would have just gotten the illness itself. Viruses work this way. And most likely we’re going to see this same type of process occur with this Coronavirus that we see with the flu vaccine. So I just want you to make an educated decision on the vaccine, whether or not to take the Coronavirus vaccine, do your homework, talk to your individual provider. Look at how many people are in this studies and decide for yourself whether or not you want to take this vaccine now or later once it’s been on the market for a while and you’ve had the opportunity to see the damage that it’s going to actually occur with it or not. Thanks everybody. It was great talking to you and sharing this information with you. Have a blessed day.
21 minutes | 4 months ago
Episode 83: I Got COVID-19, Here’s My Experience.
Dr. Deb shares her experience as a COVID survivor and what she did to heal her body and mind. “Take good care of yourself, keep you immune system strong. Build that immune system that doesn’t allow the virus to come in. And if it does, treat it with everything you’ve got that can make you better.” [0:48] Deb shares her experience of getting COVID-19 [4:17] Why Deb believes her body wasn’t able to fight of the virus [9:05] What was different about coming down with COVID-19 in comparison to a cold or the flu [15:32] The supplements Deb is taking to aid her recovery.
41 minutes | 4 months ago
Episode 82: Building A Resilient Mindset – Interview with Dr. Felice Carlton
Dr. Felice shares tips on how to manage stress during these difficult times. She has great insight for women and moms on how to navigate raising a family and keeping your sanity at the same time. “Things don’t happen to you, they happen for you. Every time we go through difficult times in life, there is something that we gain that we would not have gained on the straight and narrow path.” [02:35] How did you get involved in integrated practice? [10:14] What tips can you offer listeners for building a resilient mindset? [20:05] How long does it take people to reprogram their mindset? [34:50] Women helping women to be strong and independent. Connect with Dr. Felice Carlton: Website: http://www.doctorfelice.comLinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/dr-felice-carlton-57459b62/Facebook Private Group for Women: https://www.facebook.com/groups/547395572586267/Facebook Business Page: https://www.facebook.com/doctorfelice/IG: https://www.instagram.com/drfelicecarlton/ http://www.stressfreewomen.com
35 minutes | 4 months ago
Episode 81: Finding Our Inner Potential And Successfully Making A Career Pivot – Interview with Claudia Tan
Claudia shares her coaching skills to teach us how to pivot during this difficult time. Claudia has faced several challenges during her life that has forced her to pivot her career. She provides skills to level up your potential. [9:25] – Finding your strengths and delegating tasks [16:00] – How can people look inside themselves, find the potential they have, and pivot to that? [23:53] – Always be learning. The white belt mentality. “Take action. There is no mistake that you can make. Just do it!”
8 minutes | 5 months ago
Episode 80: Are Your Kids Revolting Against Gluten-Free?
Are your kids revolting against GF? Do they say it tastes bad? It has a funny texture or after taste? Find out why GF flours are different as Dr. Deb explains what makes different grains taste funny and how you can get your kids to love GF products. Try Dr. Deb’s Gluten-Free flour mix: http://stodkie.com
8 minutes | 5 months ago
Episode 79: Not Every Gluten-Free Flour Is Made The Same
“What do we all want from a gluten free flour? We want it to work like, act like, and taste like a traditional flour.” Not every GF flour is made the same, product quality, texture, and taste. A cup for cup flour that can be used for all your cooking needs. Order your bag of Stodkie Gluten-Free Flour and experience the difference! Click here to order
33 minutes | 5 months ago
Episode 78: The Gut-Brain-Heart Connection – Interview with Heidi Wilde
Heidi Wild and Dr. Deb discuss the gut microbiome and its effects on mental health. Heidi will share a unique product line designed for healing the microbiome while boosting neurotransmitters, the chemicals that make us feel good. “No matter how old we are, no matter what condition we’re in, we should be not feeling achy, we should not be feeling confused, we should be nimble and pain free.” Heidi Wilde is a self-love, self-awareness and mental wellness advocate and has passion for staying healthy naturally and feeling joy from the inside out.She believes that we all have a story and to the extent we are comfortable, sharing our story will help us all heal. Heidi is aligned to the FIRST and ONLY ALL NATURAL Mental Wellness Company with a platform of holistic products, programs and people that offers a Holistic approach; mindfulness, meditation, nutrition, exercise and supplementation which combines the latest in science of the GUT-BRAIN-HEART connection, matched with ancient wisdom of plants and herbs.These help reduce feelings of depression, stress and anxiety and improve our mood, mental focus, energy and sleep- ALL naturally! You can connect with Heidi Wilde at: www.yourmentalwellbeing.comwww.shopstylewitheheidi.com Timestamps: [6:45] – How can we cultivate the neurotransmitters we need in our gut through food and nutrition? [12:14] – The importance of dopamine, and recommendations for balancing dopamine properly. [24:30] – Stress, sleep, and adrenal function. [27:51] – One easy tool you can use to quickly assess your overall health.
COMPANY
About us Careers Stitcher Blog Help
AFFILIATES
Partner Portal Advertisers Podswag
Privacy Policy Terms of Service Do Not Sell My Personal Information
© Stitcher 2020