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Kristy Doesn't Know Movies
46 minutes | Aug 21, 2020
Tune in for a very warm and heartfelt Christmas flashback highlight reel extravaganza featuring some of the best moments from the last three seasons of Kristy Doesn't Know Movies. We know you've all been very good, so hopefully this gift will tide you over until we come back. From all of us here at the show, thank you, and goodnight.
23 minutes | Aug 17, 2020
Actor Spotlight: Jack Black - Shallow Hal, Nacho Libre, Tenacious D in The Pick of Destiny & Special Guest Stalker
We did a poll on twitter where 18 people said Jack Black typecast himself. Think about it.
25 minutes | Aug 14, 2020
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Trilogy
Grab a pizza, sit back and relax as we butcher one of the most beloved franchises of all time! A sadistic kid living next to a nuclear power plant flushes his new pets down the toilet. They soon come into contact with some toxic waste and become mutated beyond recognition! Either Shredder or Splinter teaches the turtles Kung-Fu, and they fight either Shredder or Splinter to save the city from being overrun with the toxic waste! A long-lost girl turtle named Cathy joins the crew, and the turtles can't control their raging turtle hormones and end up lusting after her.. and that's literally all that happens! We also play a pulse-pounding round of Turtle Trivia! Gnarly, dude! Tune in!
20 minutes | Aug 10, 2020
Plan 9 From Outer Space, Jack and Jill & Sharknado
Our first fully remotely recorded episode! Judy Garland lands a bit part in an early sci-fi dud, Adam Sandler and Adam Sandler love being Adam Sandler, and a SHARKICANE (not sharknado) rattles some Floridians.
28 minutes | Aug 7, 2020
Wonder Woman, Justice League, Aquaman, DC Trivia & Special Guest Solicitation
In this episode we delve deeply into the DCU! Wonder Woman saves America from Poison Ivy with her invisible whip and wins World War One. The Flash is ported over from his television series to fight alongside his film counterpart, and Will Smith. The show is interrupted by a drug addled male prostitute and brother of an old "friend" of the show. Kristy tests her knowledge of the DC Universe in a pulse-pounding round of trivia, and Jason Momoa wields his phallic scepter and flashes his titties for the sad, middle-aged women of the world. Tune in!
17 minutes | Aug 3, 2020
Big Trouble in Little China, Bloodsport & Timecop
Get ready for some cheesy action movies as we take a look at three absolute bangers starring Jackie Chan, Morgan Freeman and Jean-Claude Van Damme.
25 minutes | Jul 31, 2020
American Pie, Road Trip & Nick & Norah's Infinite Playlist
Bleh.. Kristy suggested this episode. More bickering over freemium games, too.
30 minutes | Jul 27, 2020
Bad Video Game Movies: Super Mario Bros., Street Fighter, Mortal Kombat & Video Game Trivia!
What's up D-pads! It's time for a special, in-depth look at baaaaad video game movies! We also play our first round of trivia this season! Grab a bag of Doritos, a 6-pack of Mountain Dew and strap in, bucko!
16 minutes | Jul 24, 2020
Sister Act, Evan Almighty & The Last Temptation of Christ
We sit down with our old friend (and new bandleader) Nick, a confirmed church music director, to talk about some religious, church-related movies! Nick musically narrates Kristy as she spews forth her bitter, movie-hating assumptions. Also, more unaffiliated promotion of freemium mobile games ensues..
21 minutes | Jul 20, 2020
Actor Spotlight: Nicolas Cage - Vampire's Kiss, National Treasure & Ghost Rider
We're back! In this episode Kristy attempts to explain three "classic" Nic Cage flicks, while also pissing Zach off by shamelessly promoting freemium games that we definitely aren't getting paid to talk about. Sit back, relax and enjoy the season three premiere!
16 minutes | Jun 15, 2020
Season Finale Memorial Special
We couldn't have planned for this..
14 minutes | Jun 12, 2020
Ferris Bueller's Day Off & The Breakfast Club
A whiny teen skips school to go skateboarding in a mall while eating Dairy Queen dilly bars. The principal is hot on his trail, and finds him in an old-timey arcade playing Centipede. Also, Molly Ringwald, Matt Dillon and Marky-Mark touch on the human condition in this existential, minimalist film adored by millions.
19 minutes | Jun 8, 2020
Jason Bourne Retrospective Part Two: The Bourne Ultimatum, The Bourne Legacy & Jason Bourne
The conclusion to our two part Matt Damon / Jason Bourne retrospective! Jeremy Renner makes an appearance as an out-of-place hacker, Matt Damon teams up with a cast of colorful characters in order to finally get to the bottom of why he can't remember anything, ever.
22 minutes | Jun 5, 2020
The Fifth Element, Avatar & Special Guest Trivia!
We were drinking heavily for hours before recording this one, so bear with us! Stick and poke tattoos, sewer cult people, brain meat, oh my! Leeloo confronts a shady government out to stop her from using the power of her mind! Blue people do.. something.. with Butt Birds! We play a fast paced round of trivia with our friend Pam, too! Woohoo!
12 minutes | Jun 1, 2020
Jason Bourne Retrospective Part One: The Bourne Identity, The Bourne Supremacy & Matt Damon Trivia!
The first part of a two part Matt Damon/Jason Bourne retrospective! Kristy is a self-proclaimed Matt Damon expert and all-around #DamonDweeb, so it should come as no surprise that she totally butchers these movies. Sit back, grab some popcorn and enjoy!
13 minutes | May 29, 2020
The Return: Happy Gilmore & The Terminator
We're back! Well, one of us is anyway.. Adam Sandler is at it again! This time he's posing as a hockey-loving Canuck that spouts 'aboots' and 'oots' while attempting to break into the American Golf industry. His patented write-a-hot-scene-with-me-and-a-woman-into-my-own-movie technique is heavily utilized, of course. Arnold Schwarzenegger and Arnold Schwarzenegger square off in a confusing and very meta duel where one of them is either trying to help, or hurt, Sarah Connor. Who cares.
24 minutes | May 11, 2020
Mid-Season Finale Stoner Comedy Extravaganza & Special Guest Revelation
It's the mid-season finale spectacular! Listen in amazement as Kristy vibes on some of the most mellow stoner comedies to hit the big screen, bro! This probably would've fared better back in April for 4/20, but we don't have to play by anybody's rules. Time is only a man-made construct, and, like, we do what we want, man! Longtime friend of the show and experienced data consultant Ken (a/k/a "M.K") also calls in with some alarming and revelatory information regarding the future of the show. See you again soon!
12 minutes | May 8, 2020
Die Hard & Jurassic Park
There can be only one true Matt Damon aficionado. Unfortunately, it isn't any actual "real" fan of his. It happens to be a certain co-host of this very show. We also take a much needed vacation on Dinosaur Island.
14 minutes | May 4, 2020
Forrest Gump, The Shawshank Redemption & No Country For Old Men
A lonely man recounts fake stories that are totally made-up, Morgan Freeman welcomes friends to prison with a smile and warm voice, and another Quentin Tarantino(?) disaster is explored!
13 minutes | May 1, 2020
KISS Meets the Phantom of the Park, Mamma Mia! Here We Go Again & WHATCHOOSAY!? #1
A nice, somewhat wealthy, disfigured and stealthy homeless man living in a park is framed by a murderer! Highly paid rock band KISS step in and save the day so he can find true love and slow dance. A woman expresses her pregnancy through flashy song and dance numbers! We play the first game of WHATCHOOSAY!?
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