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Kick It With Donna episode 69 Do you ever have a hard time releasing resentment and anger?  My issues with abandonment from my mother go back a long way, but I had an issue with my dad too.  I’ll share how I overcame and found peace. Show notes:  My mother and father were raised Catholic.  Neither one of them were church goers.  I was baptized in the Catholic church.  My brother was born eighteen months later and was not.    During the time of my mother’s pregnancy, her sister came home with Born Again Christianity.  My mother dove deep into this.  This did not fly well in the family.  It wrecked havoc on the marriage.  My mother told my father that if he didn’t accept Jesus as his personal savior, he could no longer sleep in the same bed with her.   I’m assuming their sex life went into the trash. My brother and I lived in a religious cage.  Our lives consisted of church, Sunday school, Youth Group, Vacation Bible School and memorizing the books of the Bible.  As hard as I tried, I could never get her admiration and acceptance for who I was.  The only way to please her was to beg, plead and cajole.  At the age of eighteen, I hightailed it out of her house.  To this day, we have no relationship. After becoming a mother myself, it made me angry and resentful that I didn’t have a mother to commiserate with, nor would my children have a grandmother.  I carried this resentment around  my whole life.  It was bigger than me.  I needed help releasing the resentment and finding peace.  How do you forgive someone who will never say “I’m sorry?” I went to see a Ministry counselor for several months.  Being able to talk about my past really helped me open the wounds and address them.  I came to understand that she is who she is and I am not responsible for her actions.  She also gave me a different perspective.  See your mother’s parenting as a gift.  If she had been the mother you wanted her to be, you would be different too.  You are who you are because of her. Those months of counseling helped me find that inner peace.  I can now talk about my mother without the angst I used to feel.  What a sense of freedom! When my parents divorced, it was not fun times in my house.  My mother and I were like two bulls always butting heads.  I wanted to live with my dad.  He was recently married and I don’t think the wife was too excited about my arrival.  I loved my dad.  We just got each other.  No stress.  No game playing.  Living with him meant changing schools, making new friends and meeting the new wife’s family.  I would have stayed with him.  Unfortunately, after nine months of living there, my dad sat me down and told me it would be better if I went back to my mother.  I was rejected by my dad for his wife.   At the age of twenty, my dad called me and said he was divorcing his wife.  He then said, “I heard you have a big house.”  This comment did not bode well with me. My dad and I didn’t speak for twenty seven years.  This was back in the day of no cell phones.  Through my brother’s daughter, I reconnected with my dad.  We picked up where we left off as if all those lost years didn’t matter.  His brother passed away and I flew to New York to be there for him at the wake.  Of course, I forgot to pack something and went to the local mall to buy it.  I called my dad and mentioned to him that I was sorry we lost so many years.  He said to me “I never reached out either.”  Boom.  For me, that was an apology.  That made the hurt of so many years ago seem irrelevant. My dad died three years ago.  I got to spend eighteen wonderful months with him.  His legacy lives on through me, and  I’m proud to carry his name.

Kick It with Donna episode – 68 Ever wonder why you do things that make sense at the time and in hindsight make no sense at all?  I’m sharing an experience today that helped me learn that I am not always right. Show Notes:  Through the process of healing myself from the inside out, I am discovering parts of me that are not so pretty.  It isn’t easy to look at myself and find truth in the ugly.  However, I’m finding that it gets easier with more practice.  How do I learn and grow unless I do the dirty work first? Three years ago, I took my son and his girlfriend to New York City for a week.  We stayed in a boutique hotel not far from Times Square.  Seeing the 9/11 Memorial Museum was very sobering.  Most of the time we took Uber, but we did get a Metrocard to take the subway.  How do you visit NYC and not get on the subway?   I bought show tickets for Humans.  My son was late (he’s always late) which made us all late to the show by 5 minutes.  They would not let us in.  This ruined the night.  I came home from this trip annoyed and frustrated and shared that frustration with my daughter via text.  I planned on talking to my son about it in my own time when the spirit moved me. After we returned, I took my son to Mattress Firm to buy him a new mattress.  My daughter texted me and asked what I was doing. I told her.  She couldn’t understand why I would buy my son something when I was pissed off at him.  This made me angry because I felt it was none of her business.  Truth be told, she called me out on my own shit and I was angry at her for it. This is what happens when I respond out of anger.  Instead of looking inward, I lashed out at her.  Why?  I wasn’t willing or able to come down on my son for his shit.  This is a long story for a podcast on another day. This anger at my daughter lasted for quite a while.  It was a few months ago that I apologized to her for taking out my inability to deal with my son on her.  She was very forgiving and appreciated that I came clean on this. I hope my honesty and forthcoming resonates with you in some way.  We all have our shit that we throw on others because we don’t want to dig deep into ourselves and address a problem,  The truth hurts.  The only one who can fix you is YOU.

Kick It with Donna episode 67 – 
Bridging The gap Between Holistic and Conventional Medicine – Does Osteoporosis have you in a bone crushing bind?  Therapy without meds is an alternative. The podcast falls under the Bridging the Gap between Conventional and Holistic medicine.  I have two guests today.  Deb McFarland is the founder of OsteoStrong in Carrollton.  Geraldyne Van Arnam has osteoporosis and is interested in hearing about Deb’s method of therapy without meds.  Geraldyne was put on a med that made her ill.  Even after discussing this with her healthcare provider, she was met with resistance.  They want me on a med that makes me sick.  How do I find a win-win here? OsteoStrong focuses on skeletal strength conditioning.  High levels of force are needed to trigger bone growth.  Deb starts your therapy with a Dexa Scan (a bone density test).  She then has you perform an isometric move on a few machines to determine a baseline.  This process takes ten minutes once a week. Your first session is complimentary.  It includes a wellness evaluation and a review of mechanical problems.  Four different machines are used to evaluate you:  upper body, lower body, core and spine. Geralyne and I both made an appointment to see Deb.  You can google osteostrong.me to find more information.  There was a lot of information covered in this podcast.  Please give it a listen.  Why not be proactive about your health?  

Kick It with Donna episode 66 Bridging The gap Between Holistic and Conventional Medicine -Reiki with Dr. J Dr. J’s Tranquility Reiki Spa.  What is Reiki?  It can help you alleviate stress and anxiety, lowers blood pressure, eases pain and helps promote overall  mind-body- spirit. Show Notes:  My guest today is Jonathan Hochberg.  He is a Reiki Master for sixteen years. What is Reiki? Reiki (pronounced Ray-Kee) is a complementary therapy for all kinds of illnesses (both physical and emotional) including:  cancer, pain, chronic illnesses, anxiety, depression and is especially helpful in expediting recovery for all pre-and post-operations for medical procedures.  Essentially, the Reiki energy goes to help the innate wisdom of the body to heal.  The energy heals at a cellular level and atomic level.  It changes things by breaking up stagnant energy, adding positive energy and creating space for healing to take place. Where did Reiki come from? Dr.  Usui “discovered” Reiki energy and put a name to it in Japan in 1904.  Discovered is in parenthesis because it is believed the healing practice has been around as long as 5,000 years.  We can thank Dr. Usui for creating a specific modality and allowing people to pass down the ability to provide Reiki treatments from one-on-one training from one Reiki Master to another. How is a Reiki treatment performed?  It is totally non-invasive.  Reiki therapy involves the laying of hands on the fully-clothed patient by the Reiki practitioner.  His/her hands travel through 12 to 15 different positions, staying in each place for about 5 minutes for a total of about an hour per treatment. Are medical professionals on board with Reiki therapy? With continuous positive reactions from many patients, prestigious cancer centers like the Memorial Sloan-Kettering Cancer Center in New York, the MD Anderson Cancer Center in Texas and the Mayo Clinic in Minnesota offer Reiki classes and treatments for patients on a regular basis as well as in-service classes for their nurses and staff. How do I book a treatment? You can go to Dr. J’s website Tranquilityspadfw.com or call him at 214-505-5761. I tried Reiki for the first time three weeks ago.  Never have I been put into such a meditative state.  I describe my experience in this podcast.  I’m now a regular.  I see and feel results.

Kick It with Donna episode 65 Varsity Blues How do we make sense of the college admissions scandal?  Were you a helicopter parent or were you a parent who tried to remove obstacles from your kids path? Show Notes:  I have two guests with me today.  Chrissy Conner and her daughter Madison Auge.  Madison is 22 years old and is graduating from Oklahoma University this May.  Her degree is in Human Relations.  Chrissy owns and operates her own recruiting company, Conner International.  She recruits talent and has a gift of placing people in the right place.  She runs her company with her heart and soul. Madison’s perspective is very interesting.  She talks about how nervous she gets taking an exam and the peer pressure involved when the class takes the exam together.  Many times, there is a time limit to complete the exam.  One of her pet peeves is that everyone applying to a college is rated solely on their ACT or SAT score.  She took neither.  Her professors wrote recommendations and her entrance essay allowed her admission.  How many students out there have that same anxiety over taking an exam? Madison also felt that the reason parents chose that path to pay their kids way into the top echelon of schools might have more to do with getting into a college they couldn’t afford to get into.  What if sports is the issue here? Did the dad want to row and wasn’t good enough to do so?  Did the mom want to be a soccer star and wasn’t good enough?  Those are strong motivations. Chrissy and I felt that a sense of entitlement was involved.  People that are wealthy think that their money can buy them anything.  They think that rules are for everyone else.  Think about how that makes other students feel that got into college on their own merit.  Lawsuits will be flying (a few already are).  What about the schools themselves?  They have some questions to answer. Chrissy and Madison are very close.  Madison will be working for her mom after she graduates.  Rarely, do I see two family members that just work great together.  Chrissy is very proud of her daughter for getting into the college of her choice and is excited to work with her. Since this podcast falls under the series of Self Discovery, I found myself guilty of trying to remove obstacles from my kids’ paths.  I had to struggle, why should they?  Because they need to.  How can they ever value their achievements if they didn’t hit the potholes needed to achieve success?  This discovery is important to me.  It is helping me understand how I operate.  I can’t make changes if I’m not aware of an issue in the first place.  Hindsight is a beautiful thing isn’t it?

Kick It with Donna episode 64 Bridging The gap Between Conventional and Holistic Medicine part 2 – Brain Health I have two guests today.  Dr. Joe Ford with Vitality Sports Medicine and Beeben Russell with Russell Distribution. Show Notes:  Dr. Joe Ford attended Baylor where he majored in Kinesiology and minored in Physical Education.  He attended chiropractic school thereafter and then attended Parker College and earned his doctorate.  After graduating Parker, he became Director of Rehab at Physical Medicine and Rehab Associates.  A short time after, he became a clinic director at Kirkham Healthcare where he worked with evaluating and overseeing the treatment of athletes of various sports. He then opened his own facility, Vitality Sports Medicine. Dr. Ford provides chiropractic care for the Dallas Metroplex Striders Running Club, Baylor University Track & Field, The NFL New England Patriots, Atlanta Falcons, Arizona Cardinals, Cleveland Browns, Dallas Cowboys, Denver Broncos and Olympians. Dr. Ford talks about what a concussion really is.  It was known as a bruise to the brain, but it is much more than that.  Concussions are all the rage right now because it is so prevalent in football.  There are many points Dr. Ford covers in this podcast that are worth hearing. He has come out with a patented brain supplement called CereGold.  This supplement is taken over a course of two weeks.  It encompasses  a three step process  that enables the body to promote healing. Beeben Russell is with Russell Distribution.  His focus is on holistic modalities using LED therapy.  Brain Light Pro is a flexible pad containing LEDs.  They are embedded below the surface of the pad to maximize comfort.  It is designed to be applied to the head and neck for 20 minutes per day.  LEDs of the wavelength used in the Brain Light Pro has been shown to increase blood flow to the brain. What can it do for you?  Clinical treatment results have shown that patients experience significant reduction in their symptoms such as headache, sleep disturbance, cognitive impairment, mood swings, irritability, impulsivity, anxiety and balance problems. Dr. Ford and Mr. Russell both stress that CereGold and Brain Light Pro are not a cure, but could be helpful to an individual suffering from a concussion or a head injury. There is a lot of information in this podcast that may be over your head.  It is sometimes over mine, but worth knowing about.  My purpose of doing a Part II of Bridging the Gap between Conventional and Holistic Medicine is to provide you with information that you may not be aware of.

Kick It With Donna episode #63 – My 10 Year Anniversary Anniversaries celebrate a special occasion.  February 2019 marks my ten year anniversary of surviving an ATV accident.  This accident left me with a TBI and a few injuries that dramatically changed my life. Show notes:  On February 7, 2009, A friend and I went on an ATV ride at Rough Creek Lodge in Glen Rose, TX.  I remember the first five minutes and nothing else.  The manager placed an unmarked chain over a cattle guard.  I did not see it.  The ATV flipped up and threw me off and then landed promptly on the left side of my head.  I was airlifted to Harris Methodist Hospital in Fort Worth.  I was in the ICU for 49 days.  I then spent 3 weeks at Baylor Rehab and six months at Centre for Neuro Skills.  By September 2009, I was finally able to go home. As a result of my injuries, I was no longer able to work.  Hello long term disability!  Working a full time job was not in my future.  I needed to reinvent myself.  I wrote a book called Headstrong/Surviving a Traumatic Brain Injury without Losing my Mind.  A few years later, I wrote another book called Heartstrong/Overcome Obstacles and Live Life to the Fullest. Over the course of these ten years, I’ve had so many wonderful things happen.   I reconnected with my dad and brother after a 27 year lapse of communication.  My daughter and I are forging a strong bond after many years of butting heads.  I’ve gone down the tough love road with my son (one of the reasons why my daughter and I were head butting) after many years of enabling. I spend a significant amount of  time analyzing my MO to better understand how my reaction response inhibits my growth.  If I am in denial, this is a cop out.  If I act in anger, nothing positive comes from that.

Kick It With Donna episode 62 – Physical Restoration of Breast Cancer Survivors When a woman gets a breast cancer diagnosis, her life comes to a complete stop.  What happens if she has to have a mastectomy?  Is there a way to restore her self confidence and physical appearance?  Paramedical tattooing exists. Show notes:  Lauree Prieto is my guest today.  She is a paramedical tattooer.  The procedure used to be called Cosmetic tattooing. A little history on Lauree.  Her mom died of breast cancer when she was 59 years old.  Lauree was one of three daughters and a son and was the one who noticed something odd on her mom’s breast.  It was off to the side and not visible to her mom.  The cancer diagnosis was not far behind.  Her mom went through twelve years on her journey before she died.  The lump was removed in that breast and she went into remission.  It came back and presented in the lymph nodes and spread from there.  This happened in the early nineties.  Her mom wasn’t very open to discussing the process of journey.  Lauree felt that she didn’t want to be a burden and was ashamed that she had cancer. If we fast forward to today, the 5 year survival rate of breast cancer is 99%.  The information and discussion is more open and women are more likely to share their experience with their children.  Cancer isn’t anything to be ashamed about.  Unfortunately, women who have mastectomies are left without breasts.  Just imagine for a second that your breasts were removed.  How would that affect your self worth? Lauree always wanted to work with cancer patients and had this desire to become a paramedical tattooer.  Years went by and the desire hit her again.  This time, she saw her dream through and has completed the training and is certified.  I believe her mom’s battle with cancer was a subconscious, motivating force. What is paramedical tattooing?  An instrument is used to tattoo the areola onto a breast cancer survivor’s breasts.   An eye for detail and a steady hand is an absolute.  A compassionate tattooer is so critical to the success of maintaining a patient’s trust and confidence.  The team effort involved in helping a woman achieve restorative breasts is a process.  Measurements are taken from the clavicle to where the areola should be and size and color are pertinent. Skin is taken from just under the fold of the buttocks and placed on the breast area.  Keep in mind that skin from any part of the body is not expandable like skin on natural breasts.  Fat from some part of the woman’s body is inserted into the breast.  The the skill of a paramedical tattooer creates the areola. Lauree watches the transformation of the woman’s body language and facial expressions over the restoration process which can take seven months to a year.    This is quite a physical and emotional journey for a woman.  I have nothing but respect and admiration for those who go down the path of helping others feel whole.

Episode 61: Love is an Inside Job Show notes:  My guest today is Tanya Thomas.  She is an entrepreneur coach and has been coaching for thirty years.  In addition to being my guest, Tanya is also my neighbor and friend.  She is a beacon of shining light.  Positivity is her last name:) Think about what you are conditioned to believe as a young girl.  A white knight in shining armor will sweep you up into his arms and you will live happily ever after.  This conditioning is an external focus on something that is a fallacy.  Instead of focusing on the external, focus on the internal by loving yourself first.  How do you do that? Me, myself and I.  Yes, you read that correctly.  If you take care of you, there are no complaints.  You’re not late for dinner, you can wear what you want, eat and drink what you want without any judgment!  When was the last time you did something just for you?  You’re always more concerned about making someone else happy that you forget about yourself! I have been asked by others if eating dinner alone in a restaurant or seeing a movie by myself is weird.  It is not!  It’s actually very freeing.  My sweetheart was out of town one weekend for a rug show.  Did I sit in a corner and cry?  No.  I went out to dinner and saw a movie that made me laugh my butt off.  Have you had a pamper yourself day?  Go get a mani and pedi.  Get a facial or a massage.  Take care of you.

Kick It With Donna episode 60 – From The Heart #1 I know Jimmy from BIND (Brain Injury Network of Dallas).  He is a member there and also volunteers his time answering the phones and giving prospective members a tour of the facility. Jimmy was hit by a car in Boston in 1992 and suffered a TBI.  He spent two months in a coma and another two months in rehab.  His healing journey continues to this day.  Instead of giving up or having a daily pity party, he volunteers his time at Medical City Hospital in Plano.  He talks to families who have a loved one that suffered a head injury.  Sometimes they are responsive, but sometimes not.  This time he spends with these people is a driving force for him. Jimmy was a really good runner.  It was hard for him to accept that running was not really an option for him anymore.  Three years after his injury, he went for a run and was frustrated that he could no longer meet his prior running time.  To add insult to injury, he was hit by a car again that smashed up his leg.  Bicycling became the substitute.  Jimmy was also very good at fencing.  He had to accept that this skill was also affected by his injury.  However, he was able to compete in fencing in the paraplegic arena.   His life is not worse, just different. I have a lot of respect for Jimmy. He doesn’t give up.  That is his message to all who are listening.  Don’t give up!   

Kick It With Donna episode 59 - Resolutions Will Work if You Change your Mindset. We all make those resolutions and sometimes they don’t fly. Why? Are your resolutions too lofty? If you took baby steps, would you have a better outcome? Happy New Year friends!  With every new year come new resolutions.  Do you succeed with yours?  If yes, fantastic!  If no, why not? Show notes: Margery Miller is my guest today.  We talk about how resolutions will work for you if you change your mindset.  We are all guilty of making a grandiose resolution that doesn’t have a prayer of succeeding.  I use the “I’m going to lose 20 pounds” example.  Losing 20 pounds isn’t impossible, but wouldn’t it be more realistic if you tweaked that just a little?.  Do you have a plan on how to do it?  Do you think it would work in your favor if you planned on losing two pounds a week?  Maybe your goal is to lose 20 pounds in 2019.  Making smaller weight loss goals can lead you to success instead of failure and disappointment. My resolution this year is to curb my excessive spending habit.  This goal is bigger than I am.  I’m seeing a cognitive behavior counselor to guide me through this process.  Going back in time, this behavior started in my teen years.  Wanting to be accepted and having control over something in my life leads me to the pickle I’m in now. Playing Monopoly with my honey was an eye opener.  Hadn’t played since I was a kid.  I bought every property I landed on and soon ran out of money.  I lost my butt, and I was pissed abut it.  Losing is not a strength.  I just saw my spending life on the Monopoly board!  The next day, I realized that being pissed was worthless.  Why not play the game again and make more strategic moves.  Buy the more expensive properties and buy houses on them.  Definitely better than buying everything and running out of money. Margery brought up a great exercise.  Pick one word for the year.  Write down a few sentences in the first person, i.e. I am …  Her word is courage.  She suggested that mine be strategic.  How perfect is that word for me?  Be more strategic on what I spend my money on. Reach Margery Miller here: GREAT GIRLS NETWORK Great Girls Facebook

Kick It With Donna episode 58 - Tough Love & Acceptance Tough love and acceptance. My personal journey with my son and acceptance of a scar that runs down my abdomen. Show Notes: Have any of you gone down the tough love road with your son or daughter?  I have been an enabler with my son for years. Maybe his whole life.  I paid his rent, bought him furniture, took him shopping twice a year for clothes. I took him out for dinner once a week. I paid for half his tuition. The bottom line is I loved him and I didn’t want to see him struggle. Unfortunately, struggling is a normal part of life. Without it, you can’t succeed. Why did I enable?  I didn’t grow up with enabling. My parents divorced when I was eleven. There was no good will between my parents. I had to work for everything I needed and wanted. This wasn’t a bad thing. It gave me a strong work ethic and strength and resilience. I’m not making excuses for why I enabled.  Going back to the past helps me to understand the why. Did I enable because I wasn’t?  Did I think I would be a better parent by giving my kids everything without them having to work for it? After my son graduated SMU with a degree in finance, I was sure he would get a good paying job. He never even tried. He is now begging his dad for a job, and I have become his sworn enemy. Where does this leave me?  Strong in my belief that the tough love road is the only way he will learn to be financially independent.  Do I miss him and still love him?  Yes, I do. * * * * * From my ATV accident in 2009, I suffered a TBI and had a lacerated liver and bowel perforations. They cut me open to address the liver and bowels. This left me with a scar down my abdomen and it didn’t make my day. No more bikinis for me!  I tried two different non-invasive procedures to lessen the look of it, but was disappointed in the results. My sweetheart and I went to Jamaica the first week in December. We picked an adult all inclusive resort in Ocho Rios. The reason we picked this resort was because they had an au natural beach a very short boat ride away. Neither one of us had ever gone to an au natural beach before. We teased each other about it for weeks. I felt so insecure about that scar. What if people stared?  What if someone asked me what happened?  Guest what?  No one did. Nobody gave a crap about that scar, why should I?? I left Jamaica feeling like a new person. It took nine and a half years to finally accept that scar by going to a nude beach!  Now I look at that scar as a badge of honor. I feel honored to share my personal life with you. Thank you for listening.

Kick It With Donna episode 57 - Gratefulness Lives!: I'm Grateful to be a Fighter My guest today is Bob Gray. Bob suffers from a TBI that happened in his home. He climbed a ladder and fell 16 feet.  He hit his head and was knocked unconscious. Bob’s sixteen year old daughter found him and immediately called 911. Her quickness probably saved his life. McKinney Fire and EMS raced him to the hospital. He was then flown to Parkland Hospital where they were more equipped to deal with his injury. Part of Bob’s skull was removed to relieve pressure on the brain and he was in a coma for three weeks. It took Bob two and a half months to recognize anyone. He spent six months at Pate (in-house rehab facility). Through counseling sessions, he was diagnosed with PTSD. Prior to his injury, he was a captain for the Arlington County Virginia Fire Department. His job took him to the Pentagon when 9/11 happened. The things Bob saw and experienced were not pleasant. Those memories never left his mind. The counseling he received because of his PTSD helped him find a more conducive place to store them. Bob is thankful for his family. His passion going forward is to help others. He is writing a book that will be published in March 2019.

Kick It With Donna episode 56 - Gratefulness Lives!: Finding Love with an Injury Show Notes:  My guests today are Jenny Downing Tagge and Christopher Tagge. How do I know them?  I met them at BIND (Brain Injury Network of Dallas). I have the honor of doing a writing workshop there for the members that want to speak and write about their injury. Jenny and Christopher met on Facebook through a stroke survivor network. Did these two expect to find love on this network?  Probably not. But they did. Jenny had a stroke while her son was all of eight years old. She is currently battling brain cancer. She is taking names and numbers. I’m inspired by her strength and resilience. Christopher was born with a birth defect as a result of his mother taking a drug for morning sickness. He suffered a stroke and had seizures. Christopher makes me laugh my butt off. We just get each other. He has strength and a kick ass attitude. Jenny and Christopher have fire power, individually and together. Never give up is their mantra! Christopher is grateful for God and his dad. Jenny is grateful for her family and her son Joel. I hope you find Jenny and Christopher’s story as inspiring as I do.

Kick It With Donna episode 55 - Gratefulness Lives!: Life is a give... Thanksgiving is here!  We could be grateful everyday, but sometimes we forget. Show Notes:  Thanksgiving is when we are obligated to give thanks even if we don’t feel like it.  You’re going to have family and maybe even some friends over to eat the turkey, stuffing, sweet potato soufflé, green bean casserole and pumpkin pie.  The problem is sometimes your family or friends aren’t in their happy place so they make the dinner a stressful and unwelcome event.  Damn, I went through all this work and, instead of feeling thankful, I’m annoyed.  What is one to do?? If you’re anything like me, you enjoy the all the work that goes into making this event happen.  What you don’t enjoy is the lack of appreciation for your effort.  Or, you have one family member that sucks all the oxygen out of the room with their negativity or bad attitude.  Every family has their own dynamic.  You may not be able to do anything about that one family member’s bad attitude that day.  However, you do have choices.  You could choose to not have the dinner ay your house one year.  If anyone asked why, you could tell them why.  You could choose to take a vacation so you can eat your dinner in peace.  Would these choices have any effect on the following year?  Maybe.  Maybe not.  But you will have made your point.  Setting healthy boundaries works for everyone. The whole idea of choosing is to give you the Thanksgiving Day you deserve, not one you will regret.  The bottom line is that you want to be grateful for your family and friends.  For the children you have, the food you eat, the job you have, the house you live in.

Kick It With Donna episode 53 - Change in Perspective: What's Holding You Back? Do you ever wonder why you get stuck in a situation and can’t figure out how to get out?  Fear is usually the answer.  So many other emotions fall under fear.  What is holding you back? Show Notes:  My guest today is Aaliyah Haqq.  We had lunch one day and found out that we have a lot in common.  One of our conversations was on online dating.  We’ll save that podcast for a different day.  We focused on relationships and asked the question, what holds people back from doing something else.  Fear is the number one reason.  If you’re in an unhappy marriage, here are some other challenges in breaking away: Desperation Loneliness Children Loss of friends Loyalty Lack of finances Family repercussions Self worth Healthcare FAILURE I capitalized failure for a reason.  I don’t like to fail.  Do you?  I’ve been divorced for eight years.  The last ten years of my marriage sucked.  I was unhappy and didn’t address it.  You know why?  Fear.  My parents divorced.  My mother used my brother and I like pawns in a game we didn’t understand.  I was afraid my husband would do the same.  I didn’t have my own income or healthcare.  How would I survive? I survived and have no regrets.  I also taught my children a valuable lesson.  Don’t give in to fear. My new attitude:  I would rather have peace than be right.

Kick It With Donna episode 53 - Change in Perspective: Gratitude We all have daily challenges and the occasional mountains to climb.  How grateful are you for these?  Maybe it’s time to change your perspective. My guest today is Margery Miller.  I went to see her for counseling two weeks ago.  She knew a lot of my background, but we dug deeper into it.  Growing up in a strict born again christian home, my mother and I had problems getting along.  Those problems were never resolved.  I saw her three times over the course of thirty five years.  I couldn’t understand why she cut me and my brother out of her life.  I spent many years resenting her and held this deep seeded fury inside me. Margery made a real impact on my attitude by asking me if I would be the person I am today if my mother wasn’t the mother she was to me.  She made me realize that I should be grateful to her for being who she was.  I never looked it at that way.  That's what happens when you change your perspective.  I left Margery’s house that day with a gift:  gratefulness. We spent some time talking about other dysfunctional relationships and how to address them.  Setting healthy boundaries is key to establishing what you will accept and what you won’t.  The lines won’t get blurred if you make them clear. Margery’s Principles: Gratitude, appreciation and self-discipline are the keys to freedom. Gratitude for what is as it is; Appreciation, which enhances that gratitude and includes all the elements and individuals in the universe that brought forth that for which I am grateful; and Self-discipline.  I pay attention to what goes in my mouth and out of my mind; in my ears and out of my mouth.

Kick It With Donna episode 52 - Change in Perspective: Out of the Oblivion/How to reverse cognitive decline and Alzheimers Continuing the series on Change in Perspective, my guest today will talk about how cognitive decline and Alzheimer’s can ruin your day.  What can be done to help you or a loved one? Show Notes: My guest today is Dr. Jade Malay.  She is the Founder of Apex Physical Medicine and has practiced in the Dallas area since 1992.  She is a chiropractor and RN.  Her book, Out of the Oblivion, focuses on Alzheimer’s.   It is the #3 cause of death and is also referred to as type 3 diabetes. There are two types of people that exhibit signs of “something isn’t right”.  One group is you.  You forget things, miss appointments, lose navigational skills.  The other group is you noticing that a loved one is having these issues that they may or may not be aware of.  Not only are they not aware, but they are belligerent when you mention it.  Many children are having to deal with putting a parent into an assisted living facility.  This is not fun times.  It is heartbreaking for so many reasons. Inflammation in foods and blood sugar issues can cause worrisome problems in your body.  Other issues are hormones, trauma, circulation, heavy metals in your system.  Dr. Malay can send you to have a NeuroQuant Test.  This is an MRI that focuses on your brain.  It can provide specific information on problem areas that are present. We all know that there is no cure for Alzheimer’s.  There is no magic pill to make it go away.  However, a change in lifestyle, nutrition, diet and exercise can be a positive step in managing the symptoms. Dr. Malay’s approach is to put you on a protocol that works for YOU!  She has a 92% success rate in helping people regain function by addressing the issues mentioned above. You can learn more about Dr. Malay at dallasintegratedhealth.com.  She does frequent seminars to educate people and gives out her book. As someone with a traumatic brain injury, I made an appointment to talk to Dr. Malay and have the NeuroQuant Test done.  Being proactive is better than being reactive.

Kick It With Donna episode 51 - Change in Perspective: Multitasking-Is It Doing You In? Do you ever feel like you run yourself ragged doing one task right after another?  You’re not alone!  Most of us pride ourselves on being the ultimate multitasker, but the truth is our brains are not wired for that. Show Notes:  Our brain is not wired for multitasking.  We are designed to focus on one task at a time.  When we multitask, we are switching from one task to another rapidly which causes inefficiency.  Would you rather do each task well or do several tasks that haven’t received your full focus? Multitasking has also been found to increase production of cortisol, the stress hormone.  This leaves us feeling mentally exhausted! I have been having difficulty with all the all the details that need to be done every day.  I really want to tell people to take a hike when they demand my attention and I can’t give it to them at that moment. Here are some things I do that really help me out: Put my phone on silent.  This allows me the ability to check it at my convenience.  No more constant dinging.  That is a distraction like no other! I turn off all notifications.  I know where every app is on my phone and check them at my convenience. I block off certain times of the day to read my email.  I know this sounds impossible, but if you try it, you won’t believe how possible it is. I focus on one task at a time.  This allows me to get the task done efficiently. I take breaks.  Yes, you read this correctly.  I can focus on a task for two solid hours, but then I need to walk away from it for a bit.  When I come back to it, I’m fresh and ready to go. Here are some of the negatives of multitasking: It dampens creativity Adds stress Affects your memory Affects your relationships You miss out on your life Can make you overeat (constant snacking instead of a full meal)

Kick It With Donna episode 50 - Freedom from Judgement Do you ever tire of feeling judged?  Susan Johnson is my guest today. She talks about her journey of freeing herself from judgment. Show Notes: My guest today is Susan Johnson. She is a health coach for her business called Invigorated. She also works for the Thermography Center of Dallas. Susan’s son Josh was born weighing 3lbs. 4 oz. Susan breastfed him for fourteen months. When she stopped, he had digestive issues that her pediatrician insisted was due to Josh’s low birth weight.  Susan was not happy with this explanation and became an advocate for her sons health. She discovered that Josh was intolerant of milk and soy.  Finding things her son could eat without becoming sick was her new norm. Sending Josh to school didn't work out well because he was sick all the time.  Anyone with small children knows that kids get every bug known to mankind at school and then come home to give it to mom and dad.  This made play dates and extra curricular activities impossible.  Home schooling was the only option Susan had. She eventually found out through an allergist/immunologist that Josh had X-Linked agammaglobulinemia.  Yes, that’s a long name.  This is an inherited disorder in which a person has low levels of protective immune system proteins called immunoglobulins.  Immunoglobulins are a type of antibody.  Low levels of these antibodies make you more likely to get infections. There is always something good to be had in bad situations.  Josh is now 20 years old and has completed three years of college.  Life goes on for him albeit a little different from everyone else.