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Enabling Series - If It’s Broken, You Don’t Have to Fix It. As parents, we often feel we need to fix everything and make things right for our children. Unfortunately, doing this doesn’t teach our children how to deal with suffering, heartache, and disappointment. It is very important for children to learn how to react to unexpected or unwanted things that happen in their lives from a broken toy to the death of a pet to fighting with a sibling. It’s important for them to experience these and learn how to effectively deal with these types of situations, they are inevitable. What We Discuss in This Episode: Your child breaks their new iPod they just got, you didn’t buy the warranty for it, what do you do? Broken toys, electronics and more Your child jumps in the pool with her new watch on and it breaks, how do you handle the crying child and the broken watch? What if they use their own money to buy something and an accident happens… what is the best way to handle that? Missing out on events or outings is not the end of the world for you child An event has come up, you ask your child if they want to attend, they say they don’t know, you tell them they need to tell you by Friday, on Sat. they let you know they want to, how do you handle that? Your child forgets to turn in their permission slip for a field trip, how do you handle that? Daughter missing out on Washington DC trip. Missing out on things makes them appreciate what they do experience more. Kids need to experience heartache, disappointment, and suffering If they don’t experience these, they will not learn how to deal with them as adults. Afterall, we are raising adults, not children. Dying of pets, how do you handle that? Solomon? It’s ok to cry with your child; let them see you suffer with them so they learn how to handle it. Boyfriends/Girlfriends how to handle these breakups? Fighting is ok, it’s looked at negatively, but it is imperative in relationships. Do you think having disagreements in front of your kids is effective? Learning how deal with these is one way to not enable your child.

Enabling Series - Paying For Our Kids… When Does It Stop? We have children and expect to pay for their needs. But what defines those needs? Are we responsible for paying monthly bills like cell phones and car insurance? Are parents the ones who should take on car and college expenses for their children? At what point is a child considered an adult and responsible for all of their expenses? These are questions we answer in this podcast and discuss ways to prepare your child to take on the financial responsibilities of adulthood. What We Discuss in This Episode: Monthly Expenses - Cell Phones, Car Insurance Post on cell phones are they a need? Should kids pay for their own phones? Who should pay for car insurance? Jobs for teens? Working for your parents Starting your own business as a teen Large purchases - Cars, College Should a 16 yr old pay for their own car? my experience what we did with daughter How can they pay for their college? Why should they pay for their college? appreciation learn to manage money Helping with expenses As Adults? Do we as parents have to take care of our children as adults? Some parents seem to think we do, the ones where their children are living in their basements spending the day playing video games Providing for our adult children, what does that mean? If your adult child gets in trouble, do you bail them out? How much? How do we not allow guilt to enable our children? How is enabling effective?  Paying for your kids college or car  is this ever effective?  When it opens opportunities for them and they understand that it is just that, not giving them what they want out of guilt or anything else. How does enabling hurt?

Enabling  : Enabling our Children Does Not Prepare Them for Adulthood Doing things out of guilt is one sure way that will have a negative effect on your child’s behavior. Giving in to your child’s impatience teaches them they should get what they want when they want it. Making excuses for your child shows them they do not need to be accountable for their choices. In this podcast, we discuss ways for you to help your children unlearn the effects of enabling by doing things only out of love; teaching your child patience; and letting your children learn from their mistakes and failures. What We Cover in This Episode: Guilt What do you feel most guilty about when it comes to your daughters? What do you feel most guilty about when it comes to your son? How has that changed how you parent your daughters? Guilt can be good and bad. It can make you make positive changes as it did with Denise and her son. It can have negative effects as it did for me. Why do parents give in to the guilt? Some ways that help to not give in to the guilt pray call a friend, have a support system cry journal Giving in to Their Impatience You’re using the bathroom, and a child starts knocking on the door asking where their DS is….. OMGosh, can’t you have a moment of peace! How would you answer if you were in the bathroom? You are on the phone, and a child wants to know what’s for dinner? Do you respond? Children learning patience and that everyone will not drop everything for them is a great lesson to learn, well before adulthood. Some ways to teach patience On phone - write down question Rule- if in the bathroom, don’t bother unless it is an emergency Let Them Fail! Mistakes are how we learn. If we constantly clean up our child’s mistakes, they will never learn. Your child fails a test, and says the teacher didn’t teach them what they needed to learn. After looking at the test, you notice it was all on the homework you helped them with the week before. How do you respond to your child? If your child doesn’t make the sports team they want to, encourage them to work harder for the next tryouts; do not make excuses as to why they didn’t make the team Ciara missing out on girl scout outing because she didn’t e-mail. Stef running out of money around prom time, had to miss out on a few things bc of it. Xavier missing out on drama club. What about paying for summer school? Never use excuses for kids behavior. I do it, most

Entitlement : Laziness Has a Negative Effect on Behavior - Episode 3 of 3 Remote controls, robot vacuum cleaners, and a button to push to get almost anything done has made our society L A Z Y!  This is having a very negative effect on our economy and quality of life. Let’s work together to change this, starting now! What We Cover in This Episode: We are a lazy society drive thrus delivery remote controls computers that do everything even vacuum Where do we go from here? pet up and turn the TV on park your car far away and walk plant a garden - grow your food mow your lawn , not ride it take walks cook your food, no drive thru's

Entitlement - Selfishness Has Its Price - Episode 2 of 3 Every adult is a role model for the future adults. How has our selfish behaviors affected the current generation? What can we change in our behavior in order to have a positive effect on the behavior of this generation and future generations? What We Cover in This Episode: Hardcore truth - We are selfish as parents The selfishness of parents leads to entitlement of our children If we as parents are modeling that we deserve what we want, then our children will do the same When have we seen this? sports events- parents yelling bc their kid isn’t playing stores -  black friday in the home - complaining about what they deserve at their job So many adults now are modeling that you don’t have to earn what you get. Food stamps and welfare Disability Medical- put on a med instead of take care of the problem- I don’t deserve to be sick even though I’m eating like crap Where do we go from here? Take pride in your work Be personally accountable for the choices you make you chose that job, if you don’t like it, find another one if you lose your job, take some risks and do what you can to survive if you divorce, take credit for being a part of it my story Be a role model and work hard

Entitlement - How Did We Get Here and Where Do We Go From Here? Episode 1 of 3 Everywhere we look today we see entitlement, even within ourselves. Where does this mentality come from? How can we change and be a role model for the future adults in our lives? In our first episode, we focus on guilt being one of the culprits of this nasty character trait we all inherently possess. What We Cover in This Episode: What Causes Us To Feel Entitled? Guilt Selfishness Laziness Where Do We Go From Here? Guilt - such a mind controlling thing How I stopped being controlled by guilt Why do we let guilt control us Examples of how we let guilt control us We teach our children so much about having fun, but what about hard work? What do we as parents need to provide to our children? How can we raise a child that does not suffer from the entitlement monster? What are some important things to remember when buying things or doing things for our children? Is it important to share your financials with your children and should that be an excuse as to why you won’t buy them something? Click here and save-as to download this episode on your computer