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We talk about secrets, death, bodies, names and not how boring our lives are.

This episode, we discuss arm-wrestling Paddington, porn comments, word anger and starting conversations forcefully. It's awful.Contact us on the Twitters @fineexcusesNSFW, always.Questions asked(08:44) Who would win in an arm wrestling contest Paddington or Rupert the Bear?(16:16) How do you start a conversation with someone you don't know?(28:12) Favourite word and least favourite?(40:58) What dead person would you least want to be haunted by?Songs UsedSunset Rubdown - You Go On Ahead (Trumpet Trumpet II)Miles Davis - So What (8 bit rendering from kind Of Bloop)Richard M. Sherman and Robert B. Sherman - Winnie The Pooh theme songFrank Black The Catholics - The Man Who Was Too LoudTherapy? - LooseMatthew E White - One Of These DaysDownload Standard Podcasts

Happy New Year, everyone! In a timely fashion, this is the Christmas episode. We welcome Jon Davies, artist bloke, onboard as a guest.It is not safe for work. Ever.Questions Asked(31:55) What was your relationship with Santa Claus like when you were a child? Have you ever visited "Santa" at the mall or whatever the UK equivalent of a mall is? When and how did you find out the truth about Mr. Claus? (41:36) What’s been your luckiest moment in your life? Just pure luck, out of nowhere?(56:28) Have you ever given a terrible gift such as something the recipient was allergic to? Or gotten a terrible gift and been unable to hide that you didn't like it?(1:09:40) Here's one I thought of: Is there any celebrity you'd want to meet you think might entirely hate you in person?(1:26:26) Have you said or done something you instantly regretted?Songs UsedSunset Rubdown - You Go On Ahead (Trumpet Trumpet II) (intro and outro)Alan Partridge - Abba MedleyThe Who - Did You Steal My Money?PLO - Jurassic Park Theme Song (Melodica Cover)Andy Blythe Marten Joustra - A Bug's Life (GBC)Andy Cairns - Screamager (Live)Download Standard Podcasts

Well feck, we're back. The first transnational Just Add Idiots, from the twin cultural poles of Sydney and Eastleigh.The show is NOT SAFE FOR WORK. Ever.Questions asked-------------------------(23:06) We're aware of the idea of the Bucket List but I want to know what would be on your Fuckit List? If you knew you only had a couple of days left but wanted to rage quit in style rather than just die what would you do? (32:42) Tech-no-lo-gee(44:00) Have you done anything dangerous that had it resulted in loss of life would have qualified you for a Darwin award?(54:06) Who would be in your version of the Hunger Games? The winner should be someone who deserves to be there, but not die.(1:02:43) What colour is now?Music used-----------------Sunset Rubdown - You Go On Ahead (opening and ending)Super Furry Animals - God! Show Me MagicTalking Heads - Stay HungryLouis CK - Oh My GodThe Revenge - Incredible Shell SuitJunko Tamiya - Bionic Commando (Stage 1 music)Download Standard Podcasts

Nick Parton and Johnny Rogers answer your questions. They are not experts. Not even close.

'It's been a long time/we shouldn't have left you/without a shit show to eschew' - RAKIMWe have taken a technological step back. It's a Skype call, complete with awful quality 'signal' break-up. So, enjoy that.The show is NOT SAFE FOR WORK. Ever.Questions asked-------------------------(17:34) What would you do if you got to spend the day with Nicolas Cage?(31:06) What is the most amusing/strange thing that has ever happened to you on public transportation?(41:02) What human organ would taste nicest from your fellow presenter(s)? What spices would you use and why?Music used-----------------Sunset Rubdown - You Go On Ahead (opening and ending)Unknown - Rolf Has Beans VomitSoundgarden - Rusty CageMagnetic Fields - Born On a TrainDJ Shadow - Organ DonorDownload Standard Podcasts

And here we are again.This time, we have Rob Lyon with us - musician, beer brewer, and co-offensive presence with the other two idiots.Rob as Ylid: http://www.ylid.co.uk/NOT SAFE FOR WORK. As per usual.Questions asked-------------------------(33:04) What tastes worse? Celery or English mustard?(41:20) Are there any positive aspects to having haemorrhoids?(51:20) To what extent do you, and indeed should you, rely on your friends for support in your creative endeavours?(1:12:56) What is your first experience of porn, or other form of titillation? Also, do you remember your first erection?(1:32:00) You're on a train, you have an M&S premium range salad, but you forgot to get yourself a spoon - what do you do?(1:37:53) What does purple taste like?(1:44:40) Which villains, fictional or real, do you relate with most, and why?(1:48:48) What makes you think you're funny?Music used-----------------Sunset Rubdown - You Go On AheadClutch - Burning BeardLong Elektricity - MustardBeck - ScarecrowYlid - Make Them BreathePulp - This Is HardcoreThe Matrix - 'there is no spoon' sceneTherapy? - Black Eye, Purple SkyKnightmare - show themeDJ Michael Ortega - Sad Piano MusicDownload Standard Podcasts

Back again, streamlined, honed, and still shit.I think the shorter format might suit us from now on.mail@justaddidiots.comif you have any questions, as per usual.NSFW: This podcast is stupid and unpleasant. You have been warned.QUESTIONS(19:08) You're going to star in the re-make of your own favourite film - what character are you, and how do you improve/spoil the original story?(30:24) What is the best biscuit?(45:03) We know that you did it, but what was the first thing you stole?TRACKS USEDSunset Rubdown - You Go On Ahead (Trumpet, Trumpet II) - introSkipped - Boredom Is A Weaponhttps://www.facebook.com/pages/Skipped-Junk-Band/604981846186644?ref=tsfref=tsAlan Silverstri - Forrest Gump SuiteClassic 70's Porn Music - Love MuscleJonnieonionrings - Grange Hill theme coverhttp://www.youtube.com/user/jonnieonionrings?feature=watchSkipped - The Market Dance (reprise)Download Standard Podcasts

Thrubb Magazine takes a retrospective critical look back at Just Add Idiots.

BOOM! This might as well be the Christmas episode. We are awful, awful people. Got any questions for Just Add Idiots? Email 'em here: mail@justaddidiots.com NSFW as usual. RUNNING ORDER: (28:00) What made you laugh today? (36:32) What do you want for Christmas this year? (52:48) Zombie question. (59:13) Force Me Into It - Beck report (1:19:44) What was the last thing you quit? (1:28:41) Johnny At Butlins (1:33:15) Are there more people than plastic bags in the world? (1:39:12) What the strangest excuse you've ever had to give for being late? (1:46:24) Who you like to be stabbed in the back by, and why? (1:47:13) Cover That Mutha SONGS USED: Sunset Rubdown - You Go On Ahead (Trumpet, Trumpet II)   - intro Method Man Redman - Well All Rite Cha Swedemason - Schofield On Crack The Magnetic Fields - Acoustic Guitar Sufjan Stevens - They Are Night Zombies!! Beck - Modesto Kyuss - Gardenia Wednesday 13 - Happily Ever Cadaver Therapy? - Body Bag Girl Fine Excuses - The Playground Face Beck  - Some Things Last A Long Time (Daniel Johnston live cover) Download Standard Podcasts

Send us questions. Immediately.

Well now! The lazy bastards are back, after goodness how many months (unplanned) hiatus. Business as usual. Got any questions for Just Add Idiots? Email 'em here: mail@justaddidiots.com NSFW as usual. RUNNING ORDER: (42:47) What made you laugh today? (52:12) What was the stupidest reason you've ever had for being grounded, or been given detention for? (1:04:01) If you were unlucky enough to suffer early onset dementia, what form would your dementia take? (1:10:50) Force Me Into It - Bruce Springsteen report, Beck for Johnny (1:25:20) Which invention in history would you like to claim as yours? E.G.: the wheel, the ride on lawn mower, the pencil.  How would you have sold it? (1:31:20) Do you think you might have a mid-life crisis? And if so what form will it take? (1:37:09) What's the strangest dream you can remember? What do you think it might mean? (1:48:04) Cover That Mutha SONGS USED: Sunset Rubdown - You Go On Ahead (Trumpet, Trumpet II)   - intro and outro Mama's Gun - Reconnection The Slag - Diminuendo Scott Lucas The Married Men - Cut A Hole Cassette Boy - You Can Just Forget About It Beck - Electric Music The Summer People The Damage Manual - Scissor Quickstep Yuzo Koshiro - Dreamer The Hold Steady - Atlantic City (Bruce Springsteen cover) NB: Beck playlist for Johnny still being compiled... Download Standard Podcasts

Boom, we're 10! Feel the excitement in a chunky edition of Just Add Idiots. And because I'm a project-shilling whore, here are links to the solo music of mine that I plonked in the podcast: Stream two albums free at Bandcamp: http://thegoldencold.bandcamp.com/ Download, stream on YouTube, or join the group on Facebook here: http://www.thegoldencold.com/ Got any questions for Just Add Idiots? Email 'em here: mail@justaddidiots.com NSFW as usual. RUNNING ORDER: (22:56) What Made You Laugh Today? - PHOTO LINKS: (ATM cropped) (ATM uncropped) (hotdog toaster) (34:16) You're in a crowded room and you desperately need to pick your nose (it's the itchiest you've ever known it to be, you see), but the door is blocked and everyone is staring in your direction. What would you scream at the top of your lungs to get everyone out of the room and leave you in peace? (37:56) Make Me Laugh, You Bastard - VIDEO LINK: http://youtu.be/LX30rK-lCOc (44:16) If chocolate was good for you would it taste as nice? (54:14) Force Me Into It - Bruce Springsteen (1:16:19) Which advertising slogan would you use that best describes the other podcast presenter? (1:22:08) Lie To Me (1:29:56) If you came with a warning label, what would it say? (1:34:00) Cover That Mutha SONGS USED: Sunset Rubdown - You Go On Ahead (Trumpet, Trumpet II)   - intro and outro The Golden Cold - The Queen Of Salt And Sergeant Pepper The Golden Cold - Hangman (Then) Daniel Johnston - Wedding Ring Bells Blues The Golden Cold - Pop The Golden Cold - Fast Girl Bruce Springsteen - Born In The USA ( acoustic demo) The Golden Cold - H H The Golden Cold - A Button In Your Lower Back The Golden Cold - Pulse Tricky - Black Steel (Public Enemy cover) LINKS: Springsteen playlist ------------------------------------------ Badlands The River Atlantic City Mansion On the Hill State Trooper Devils Dust Dream Baby Dream Alibi O Mary, Don't You Weep (live) Livin' On The Edge Of The World I'm Goin' Down Thundercrack Rendezvous (live) Brothers Under The Bridge Born In The USADownload Standard Podcasts

Yes indeedy, it's one of those gems of amateur podcasting - the lazily thrown-together stopgap episode! In any case, it had to go out now, otherwise the Prometheus talk would be even more hopelessly out of date past June 1st. Good god, I cannot wait for that film. Also, leave us an answerphone message on 07936 355609 . Go on. QUESTIONS ASKED: Should Ridley Scott quit while he's ahead? SONGS USED: Sunset Rubdown - You Go On Ahead (Trumpet, Trumpet II)   - intro and outro Download Standard Podcasts

We're back! What do you mean, who? Doesn't matter. Just get onboard. We've got a slightly new format, so mild indifference at the ready, people. Got any questions? Email 'em here: mail@justaddidiots.com Yes, it's NSFW again. RUNNING ORDER: (20:24) What made you laugh today? (29:55) Has a video game ever made you cry?   Do you see a time when a MOBILE game might achieve the same? (40:48) Force Me Into It - Nick Cave (51:06) Cryogenic suspension, which option would you choose? 1. Yes, immerse me in liquid nitrogen and revive me in the future. 2. Just freeze the head daddio! I'll have a robot body in the future... 3. Ooh, no thanks. I'll risk heaven (or hell). (58:10) Make Me Laugh, You Bastard (1:03:48) What would you not do for a million quid? My best mate would NOT wear flat shoes for the rest of her life but would microwave a kitten if she didn't have to watch. (1:12:13) Internet Quote Of The Week (1:18:24) What's your most impressive physical achievement to date and what mentalist achievements do you envy but would never want to try? (1:28:40) What Would You Do If...? (1:33:30) Cover That Mutha SONGS USED: Sunset Rubdown - You Go On Ahead (Trumpet, Trumpet II)   - intro and outro Bob Mould - Art Crisis Lemonade Demons - Fuckin' Up (Neil Young Cover) Monster Magnet - Cry Nick Cave The Bad Seeds - Stagger Lee Christopher Tyng - Theme from Futurama Tune-Yards - Gangsta Peaches - Fuck the Pain Away [Nesono Remix] Pharoahe Monch (ft Busta Rhymes) - The Next Shit Pulp - The Fear Keyboard Cat doing his thing Adam Franklin - Shine A Light (Wolf Parade cover) LINKS: Kid Wins Contest https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jPETOynoev0feature=player_embedded# And at Boyflea's suggestion: Nick Cave playlist for Johnny ------------------------------------------ Into My Arms Supernaturally Darker With The Day Love Letter Henry Lee I Let Love In Red Right Hand No Pussy Blues Breathless Curse of Millhaven The Mercy Seat Midnight Man Stagger Lee Thirsty Dog Up Jumped The DevilDownload Standard Podcasts

Oh yeeeeah. Special guest on this one - David Turner of Joypod, who played a blinder. Johnny also rolled out some fine anecdotes (and c-bombs), which leaves me to weep in the editing room, accompanied by no laughter. Got any questions? Email 'em here: mail@justaddidiots.com Warning - this is a very much NSFW episode, but you should already know this about the show. Yes, you should. QUESTIONS ASKED: (37:32) Have you laughed out loud today? What at? (52:30) Cheese choices: hand churned and matured in the cleavage of a handsome woman, or processed and shaped in a triangular foil wrapping? Also, when was the last time you ate a cheese football? (1:03:26) With the gaming industry marked by ongoing closures of dev houses such as Hudson and THQ, which publisher or developer would you be most sad to lose? (1:11:22) Who is your favourite dictator and/or Thundercat? (1:23:15) You're doing a 5 minute stand up comedy routine, what is it about? (1:40:48) What would you invent to secure your fame and fortune? (1:45:06) What's the least manly thing you have ever cried about? (1:57:02) What's best use for an emergency banana? here is an example "fuck im low on potassium""here take this". or "shit im giving birth" "Nooooo if only i had an emergency banana to hand!" SONGS USED: Sunset Rubdown - You Go On Ahead (Trumpet, Trumpet II)   - intro and outro The Ink Spots - I Don't Want To Set The World On Fire Steven Seagal - Strut (feat. Lady Saw) Lamb Of God - Redneck Lou Reed - This Magic Moment State Of Play - Lume trailer music Coolio - Kenal Kel theme tune Queens Of The Stone Age - Better Living Through Chemistry Frank Zappa The Mothers Of Invention - My Guitar Wants To Kill Your Mama Billy Bragg - Tank Park Salute Rihanna - We Found Love LINKS: Joypod at Spong Joypod Twitter David Turner TwitterDownload Standard Podcasts

The obligatory christmas episode.

This is two separate conversations welded together, like a dodgy secondhand car. Don't push it above 46mph. QUESTIONS ASKED: (28:55)  Do you like spiders? Should they be killed with fire and their heads left on pikes as a warning to others? Do you have any phobias? (48:50) Are baby potatoes fully grown? or is this some kind of vegetable infanticide? (59:50) Invent a new word - tell us what it means, and when you would use it. (1:02:50) Why no prog rock in your oeuvre? (1:14:50) What's everyone's problem with the idea of drinking Bovril? SONGS USED: Sunset Rubdown - You Go On Ahead (Trumpet, Trumpet II)   - intro and outro Overkill - Coma Devin Davis - Giant Spiders King Creosote - And The Racket They Made Cat Power - It's Alright To Fail The Mars Volta - Inertiatic ESP Sketchi Fetcha - Beefy Tingz Dem (No Bovril) Download Standard Podcasts