Is Love Enough?
Is it possible to love someone but not feel emotionally close? There is often a gap between the love we feel in our heart and the emotional intimacy we experience with someone. The connection we desire may seem so close, so we keep trying, but it remains elusive.You can love someone but don't experience the trust and safety that are necessary for the relationship to thrive. But this emotional safety is an essential foundation for an intimate relationship.The Ingredients of Emotional SafetyThere are many possible ways to protect ourselves when we don’t feel safe. We shut ourselves down.Building a trusting, non-defensive relationship requires that we give to another what we ourselves desire. Love asks for reciprocal sharing—extending ourselves toward another’s world in a way that lets them feel emotionally safe with us. Being Ourselves and Being TruthfulOne of the blessings of building safety in a relationship is that we feel free to be ourselves. If we’ve been hurt in the past, we may have vowed to never to be so trusting and open again! Life is richer when we find a partner that comes from being ourselves Emotional safety also requires telling the truth and keeping agreements. Of course, no one is perfect, It is inevitable that trust will be broken, even in the best of relationships. There may be times when we don’t feel emotionally safe due to our own unhealed wounds from past relationships, whether in our family of origin or past partnerships.