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Joyfully Married After
40 minutes | May 21, 2021
Is Marriage Becoming Extinct?
Why do people say that marriage is becoming extinct?1. FEAR -people are afraid of hurt, rejection being vulnerable. FOMO. Something or someone better is around the corner. It’s all fear and you bring it to yourself…2. Bad teaching- Who are you listening to? Online influences, gurus, family members? You reading your word? Your pastor? Following people with fruit on the tree? Modeling marriage/family success? Seeking positive input and wise counsel? Men bashing women and women bashing men and that’s what you’re listening too.3. Communication and unrealistic expectations - Expectations of a perfect mate from an imperfect you. Work on yourself; make improvements there. Attract what you are/what you want and watch this. What you need. Your spouse is also there to help you and also highlight where you need improvement. But we run from that and it becomes a problem vs you're doing some work in that area.Because the POWER couple, is real.
36 minutes | May 15, 2021
3 Ways to Have a Great Marriage and a Great Business
Invest in your marriage just like your business/careerWEEKLY MEETINGWeekly meeting with an Agenda- Treat this like you would a valuable client.Don’t missNo interruptionsIn a quiet placeAsk to scale 1-10Where can i improveWhat is going on in the business, the Vision of the businessOut of town this week?Anything giving extra pressure this weekWhat is going on with the house, family, kidsWhat important activities are coming upWhat important appointment are coming upCREATE THE VISION OF YOUR UNIONWho do you see yourself as the significant other?Think like premier RomanticCater directly to their love language in a big way on a regular basisLook for others to emulateBe with others that have marriage you want or others that want the same for their marriage (community)ALWAYS HAVE SOMETHING GREAT TO LOOK FORWARD TOAre you excited about the futureGive yourself something to be excited about.Is there an annual trip you take?Is this something you like to do together that you can do on a regular basis?Make rules - If I am gone this many days, we do a quick weekend away. Never miss date night, pillow talk on Sunday nights etc. There are so many!! Coffee Day. Get in your 10!It’s possible to have a great marriage and a great career or business. Yes you can have it all. Envision it, claim it.
35 minutes | May 15, 2021
What Do You Believe About Black Marriage?
We are going to break 4 Myths with statistics.1. Black Women Don’t Marry - 2.Educated Black Women Have It Harder3. Rich Black Men Marry Out4. Black Men Don’t Earn as Much as Black WomenDo Black people get married? That question has been asked in one form or another in a series of news reports about the Black marriage “crisis.” On the surface, such stories seem to be concerned about Black women in search of love, but these media reports have fueled stereotypes about Black people. By suggesting that too few Black men are available to wed, news stories on Black marriage have done little more than predict doom and gloom for Black women who hope to marry.In reality, Black marriage isn’t reserved for the likes of Barack and Michelle Obama. Analysis of census data and other figures has debunked much of the misinformation the media has reported about the Black marriage rate.
45 minutes | Apr 23, 2021
Things I Learned on My Entrepreneurial Journey while Married - Interview with Lamar Tyler
In this episode we interviewed Lamar Tyler of Black Married with Kids and TSP.Using his motto "The Gatekeepers Are Gone," Lamar has leveraged social media to build a movement of online brands that support, uplift, and encourage the black community with over 600 thousand social media fans and over 51 thousand customers in all 50 states and 43 countries across the globe. Among the recognition received for his work, Lamar, along with wife Ronnie was named one of Ebony Magazine's Power 100, a list of the top 100 movers and shakers in the black community, finalists for Black Enterprise's Family Business of the Year, finalists for Infusionsoft’s Small Business ICON award and recipients of the ClickFunnels 2 Comma Club Award.https://trafficsalesandprofit.com/FREE Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/TrafficSalesProfit/Lamar reveals what he wish he knew before starting the entrepreneurial journey in this first JMA interview! Learn what couples should do when trying to move from corporate jobs to entrepreneurship, resources you should tap into and the biggest myth about moving from your Corporate job to Entrepreneurship.Find us at HeathandTracy.com
18 minutes | Apr 16, 2021
Is Love Enough?
Is it possible to love someone but not feel emotionally close? There is often a gap between the love we feel in our heart and the emotional intimacy we experience with someone. The connection we desire may seem so close, so we keep trying, but it remains elusive.You can love someone but don't experience the trust and safety that are necessary for the relationship to thrive. But this emotional safety is an essential foundation for an intimate relationship.The Ingredients of Emotional SafetyThere are many possible ways to protect ourselves when we don’t feel safe. We shut ourselves down.Building a trusting, non-defensive relationship requires that we give to another what we ourselves desire. Love asks for reciprocal sharing—extending ourselves toward another’s world in a way that lets them feel emotionally safe with us. Being Ourselves and Being TruthfulOne of the blessings of building safety in a relationship is that we feel free to be ourselves. If we’ve been hurt in the past, we may have vowed to never to be so trusting and open again! Life is richer when we find a partner that comes from being ourselves Emotional safety also requires telling the truth and keeping agreements. Of course, no one is perfect, It is inevitable that trust will be broken, even in the best of relationships. There may be times when we don’t feel emotionally safe due to our own unhealed wounds from past relationships, whether in our family of origin or past partnerships.
36 minutes | Apr 9, 2021
Handle Your Money and Build a Legacy Together
The best way to handle money in your MarriageBegin with a plan to move your family and your future in building a legacy.This is the way to solid finances.You want to start with an abundance mindset. Not a scarcity mindset.Be Ok, plan. Watch your spending on the necessities. Rent/Mortgage, Transportation and food. My dad calls it “Food, clothing and shelter. Be Secure. This is where you are going for the 6 months or more savings.Build a Wealth plan. This is when you can have fun. Look for those deals to invest in. Meeting on a regular basis with your partner to go over your Philosophy and what are the goals and objectives you are moving toward. Stop keeping up with the Joneses. This is hard. Why are you buying this? Do you really need it?Overspending. When you use credit, do you pay more than you would if you paid cash. Face the past bad decisions you have made. Lending money to friends and family. Does helping them change their relationship with money? Does it fix their problem? Credit Cards. Build credit with only 2 credit cards. Or are you trying to live beyond your means? Student Loans- What is it going to really cost you? Figure out how to save your money. Pay yourself first. Talk about money as a couple. Come together.
21 minutes | Apr 2, 2021
Why 50 50 Relationships Don't Work.
Marriage isn’t a fifty-fifty proposition. Conducting your relationship as a business deal will get you in a lot of trouble. Since we live in a competitive culture, we see things thru a capitalist lens, prompting us toward seeing things as quid pro quo or tit for tat rather than giving more freely and less conditionally. Instead of real giving of yourself, you see relationships as an investment, expecting a return, and if you don’t get a return you feel resentment.What you need to agree on: Finances: Who is going to earn? Both? How much do we need? What is she makes more? What if he makes more? Who is responsible for paying the bills? Children: Main Care giver, Main teacher, Main disciplinarian. Also decide What are we going to share at each phase. Baby, who wakes up, changing, feeding. Toddler, teaching, discipline Teen, Discipline, instruction. Should be a team effort. Who is better at what?When the flow of giving stops, both people suffer and the relationship suffers. The climate of the relationship deteriorates, and a downward spiral can spin out of control.Ask yourself is your relationship person or is it transactional?Figure out each other’s Love Languages. Our greatest joy begins to come not from getting what we want, but from seeing the delight in our partner’s eyes when they receive our offerings. It is more important to meet His needs and Her Needs than to focus on splitting finances.Focus on giving 100/100 to the RELATIONSHIP to maintain the connection and intimacy.
21 minutes | Mar 26, 2021
Does Social Media Lead to Problems in Your Relationship?
If you are doing the following things, you are cheating:If my partner asked me about my chats, comments, and messages to others on social media, do I hide some messages?Do you sometimes like to chat or message ex’s online?Sometimes, instead of going to my partner, Do you share deep emotional or intimate information with others online?Do the above statements apply to you? Spending time with another person outside of your relationship is time spent away from a partner, which is one of the elements that affects judgments of infidelity. The top ways Social Media is driving you apart.Time spent on Social Media is time NOT spent with your partner. Couples spend time on social media, even when they are together.Social Media is the perfect opportunity for you to compare your partner with others.Social Media makes you irritable and annoyed. This is the first sign of addiction.Social Media makes it easier to go beyond what is normally acceptable.Using Social Media to deal with relationship problems instead of facing them head on and talk about them.
29 minutes | Mar 20, 2021
Healthy or Unhealty Relationship. Which One is Yours?
Healthy Relationships vs Unhealthy Relationship What is a Healthy Relationship?The easy answer is that it looks different for every couple. However, I realized a long time ago that if we didn't grow up with parents who had wonderful ways of relating to one another, that there was virtually nowhere else to turn to find a healthy couple to learn from. This leaves the ways that happy and healthy couples relate as secrets that many of us don't get to experience. But First Unhealthy Relationshipsverbal and emotional abuse (name-calling, intimidation, threats, shaming, belittling);Financial abusepatterns of control and isolation; violence of any kind; violation of boundaries; and emotional manipulation. If you are experiencing things like this in any of your relationships, I would suggest getting help right away to address it.Also think about a variety of relationships in your lifea close friend, your partner, your ex, a family relationship, or others. Each point will work out differently depending on the relationship, and each may also reveal an area for improvement. Also remember that no one can do these perfectly all the time, and most relationships have issues in some dimensions.8 Keys to Healthy Relationships1. Taking Interest2. Acceptance & Respect3. Positive Regard4. Meeting Basic Needs5. Positive Interactions6. Solve Problems7. Rupture & Repair8. Reciprocity
16 minutes | Jan 11, 2021
2020 Ruin Your Relationship?
The year of exposure. Brought out the best and worst in our relationships. What we loved grew and what we hated grew. Go back to the beginning and remember what drew you to each other. Think about what happened. Don’t play a blame game. Put yourself in their shoes. Communication but start with how not what. What’s the process to get us back to where we were. Focus on the process. Be the bigger person. Be responsible for your emotions. Don’t take it personally. It’s time to be the responsible adult the room. Think present NOT past. That’s easy to find receipts to fuel your arguments. Ask the question what can you do now? Take baby steps and look for small wins and small improvement.
21 minutes | Jan 11, 2021
5 Most Important Relationship Tips for the New Year
Focus on small acts of kindness. Boosts your mood. Do t be stingy with each other. You need some water? Pay attention to your inner voice that creates distance. Don’t listen to negative/critical voice on your shoulder. No self sabotage with the inner voice. Don’t allow it prevent you from being vulnerable. Be aware of fantasies you may form. An illusion of oneness vs 2 distinct people working together to create a great marriage. “We don’t do this”, “we don’t do that”...instead of honoring differences and celebrating yin and yang; respecting and celebrating differences while working together. Help your partner feel secure. Not all the focus on yourself. Breaks down empathy and understanding. How can I make them feel more secure? Cell phone not in bed? Are they feeling heard? Cutting down social life if she feels threatened by it. Finding the balance of feeling understand and balanced. Willing to be vulnerable. We have a lowering tolerance for love than we think. Feel your sadness and stay vulnerable. Great joy comes with great sadness. It is better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all.
13 minutes | Jan 11, 2021
New Year Steps to Build a Future
Each year Tracy and I go through this exercise to plan our year. We break it up into 2 parts. ( The first 6 months of the year and the second) Additionally we do this with each of our adult children as well to get them accustomed to reflection and goal setting. If have a business or you’re creating a brand, it’s great to create a calendar for your content creation as well so you have dates and time frame targets to keep you on track... Brainstorm Ideas-Business ideas, personal goals-I will drop 20 lbs by June 1st with a healthy diet and exercise while maintaining weight through December. "I will complete my research and launch my podcast by March 1st." Non-Negotiables- That truck will not sit in the driveway all year this year. It will be gone by January 31st. "I’m not cooking 6 times a week this year." How much will we make this year? I will make $300k this year. Look Back to Move Forward last year I made $100k. I gained 15 pounds, I got a new job. "I wasn’t as happy as I’ve been in the past or I found myself happier, etc." How will we make money in 2021? "I will earn 150k from my job with salary, commissions and bonuses. I will start a Shopify Store and net 50k. I will learn to do F/B ads and hustle on FiVR to earn $50k or whatever your answers are."
52 minutes | Jan 22, 2020
We Are Asked Some of Your Most Pressing Questions!
We are being asked your most pressing questions by Gary Jones of the "Get With the Program" Radio show.
14 minutes | Jan 13, 2020
How to Rebuild Broken Trust
A key component that threatens trust is fear. Our son’s action earlier this week broke the trust and its primary cause was fear. Leaving the house without telling us was caused by “ a fear that we’d say no”. A fear of missing out on some perceived fun with a buddy. This action unknowingly broke the trust that was built up over the years. Then avoidance and shame kicked in about what he’d done ✅ and he hid avoiding the consequences and confrontation. This is a great analogy for primary or spousal relationships too. 1.Be open to keep the trust. The person who was lied to gets a pass to ask any questions, check phone, check whatever at anytime. This seems invasive at first but will minimize naturally with time. The person that lost trust needs to let this happen without getting in your feelings or retaliating. 2.Discuss items that bother you or that you’re concerned with. Bring why you are suspicious and what the person vando to alleviate your fear. 3. Talk through issues even if you’re scared or uncomfortable; you’ll be so glad you did. Do this when there is no emotion involved. During basic tasks, cooking, running errands. Or just sitting down with a glass of wine or over dinner to talk thru it. Not being up and throw in the others face but talk thru the issue openly to take trust to the next step. Ask questions and answer them openly and without hesitation. 4.Get help. A coach, a professional, to walk through it with you if necessary. 5.Meet things head on and never hide from the challenges. If you’ve already gone down the wrong road, stop 🛑. Admit your wrong and work through it. You can do it. You can push through.
31 minutes | Dec 16, 2019
Do We have a Communication Problem?
What we’re discussing today. “I said what I said.”- Rules of Communication Question of the week - Hey if you are married and your spouse doesn’t tell his family what does that mean for your relationship? Doing it Well -A Sexless Marriage is a vulnerable Marriage 3 Rules of Communication that leads towards connection. Many couples make the mistake of assuming that their problems are due to poor communication. That is not (or rarely) the case. Why do couples think this? Because someone told them, or they read it in blog… But communication is merely the method of passing information. A pipe-a conduit. But it doesn’t change the information you are moving. The connection is the issue… not communication. When we feel connection to someone we are more willing to hear their point of view. Three rules: Seek to Understand Focus on the perspective of your partner. Admit any difficulty in understanding or explaining.
25 minutes | Dec 11, 2019
How Do I Win My Partner Back?
In this episode Heath and Tracy discuss 1. Getting your husband or wife back after separation. 2. Question of the week - "My husband is always checking for an Ex on Facebook, Is this a problem?" 3. Doing it Well - Kill the routine. “Inside or Outside?” Discussing the DO’s of how to save the relationship, we talked about the DON’Ts last week. The first thing we want to say is NO Manipulation. There are many out there that make manipulative suggestions and we don't abide by ANY. It will only lead to destruction. Stay Calm, try not to be reactive. Panic is the enemy. You have to stay calm, even if your partner is not. There is no excuse to not control your emotions. Would you stomp into your boss’s office and yell and scream at them? Probably not, but we do it with our partners all the time. We all choose how we are going to respond. Be Consistent Be Constant Work on Yourself Try not to separate Slowly Reconnect If none of this works you are still in a good place. You've worked on and improved yourself, reconnected with friends and family. Seen a therapist. You thought about what you want out of life, and how to handle crisis. This is good. If you don’t get your marriage back on track it will at least help improve YOUR life. Try and we wish you great success! If you enjoy this episode and it inspired you in some way, We’d love to hear from you and know your biggest takeaway. Take a screenshot of you listening to our show, post it to your Instagram Stories and tag us, @heathtracy or tweet @HeathandTracyTV. We want to invite you to contribute to this podcast. Help us by submitting a question for the Listener Question of the Week edition of Joyfully Married After. All you have to do is click http://bit.ly/VoiceMailtoHeathandTracy HERE and record a question (under 3 minutes or less) that could be featured on an upcoming episode!
26 minutes | Dec 2, 2019
What NOT to do When Your Partner Wants Out.
What we’re discussing today. 5 Things NOT to do when your partner wants out of the relationship. Question of the week - "Is it appropriate for a married man to be part of private group chats with other men that share nothing but VERY pornographic/explicit videos and pictures of women?" Doing it Well - Is it “Hump” day yet? Scheduling Sex
41 minutes | Nov 25, 2019
Are You Bringing Baggage?
Two people marry more than each other – they marry a set of circumstances.52 Becoming aware of how their two worlds combine on a practical level is essential to making sure they don’t collide on an emotional level. Booth, A., Johnson, D., & Edwards, J. (1983) Social - Financial - Expectations Social- There are four aspects of a couples social world. Friends and Family Support - In- Laws Relationships -Level of Investment - Faith Community Page 49. Financial - Money Style(Spender/Saver) - Budget Skills - Financial Fears - Debt According to a survey by the American Institute of CPAs, more than 27% of people who are married or living with a partner cited money as the topic most likely to cause an argument. That makes it the most volatile topic for couples – far more sensitive than children, careers or friends. Expectations - Roles Perhaps the biggest piece of baggage that a person brings into a marriage is their bundle of expectations. Uncovering these expectations – especially the ones that are rarely articulated or even unconscious – is an instant insight for engaged couples.
36 minutes | Nov 18, 2019
Your Individual Wellbeing and Your Relationship Wellbeing
What is WellBeing? It is measuring the psychological health for both individuals + caution flags as well as the emotional health of your marriage together. Why does it matter?Your relationship can only be as healthy as you and your partner.
26 minutes | Nov 11, 2019
What is Your Marriage Mindset?
What we’re discussing today. 5 Marriage Mindsets Question of the week - He is still on a dating website, but asked me to get off. What should I do? Doing it Well Top of Mind Mindset of our Relationships - every person brings a mindset to marriage - What they say, think, and believe when it comes to tying the knot. Basically it’s your attitude toward marriage. You already have beliefs, thoughts, feelings and attitudes about the concept of marriage. If you know your marriage mindset it can reveal a wealth of information about you and the future of your relationship. Research reveals that you have one of the five distinct marriage mindsets: Resolute Rational Romantic Restless Reluctant Why should you try to figure out your marriage mindset? By identifying your Marriage mindset you can then compare to your partner’s mindset it can reveal much about the probable course of their marriage. Doing it Well - Is there a surefire path to her orgasm? https://www.the-generous-husband.com/2017/10/14/sure-fired-path-to-her-orgasm/
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