27 minutes | Jun 9, 2020

Meaningful Communication

Everybody deserves to live life to the fullest. From the day you were born to the day you leave this earth, you were created with a purpose – a reason for living. Join us today on the podcast we sit down with Dr. David Clarke to discuss the reasons why growth is essential to our livelihood. Transcript Dave: Life’s not worth living if it’s just on the superficial crust of the earth. It’s just not. The benefits are awesome. Now, there are the most important are spiritual benefits. If you’re growing, you will automatically remove obstacles to your relationship with God. There are physical benefits because when you’re walking with the Lord, I think automatically there’s, stress is released. Emotional health is critically important. Every relationship you have, God, spouse, kids, neighbors, friends, is going to be improved dramatically. Terry: Welcome back to the journey coaching podcast where we care deeply about real and authentic relationships. This is Terry, your host, and I have sitting with me two really cool guys. I have David Clark. He is a Christian psychologist and author and speaker from Tampa, Florida. He’s written some pretty amazing books. His most recent one is called, I Destroyed my Marriage. So some, some really challenging things. Also with us today as Jeff Carlson, a business owner, and one of the founders of Journey Coaching, and he also happens to be my husband and Dave is one of our good friends. So we should have fun with this conversation. Our topic today is going to be about why grow. I’m going to let Jeff kind of kick this off and start with some of the first questions.  Jeff: Well, I’m just super excited, Dave, that you are joining us with the zoom thing, you know, pretty cool. We’re all figuring out how to do zoom, but, uh, yeah, very cool. We’ve known each other for like, what, five, six, seven years? Dave:  It seems like, yes, six or seven years. I think so.  Jeff: Yeah, yeah. And when I, yeah, it’s been, and we’ve done some really cool things together. My wife and I attended a day of seminars, and I thought it was off the chart, the best marriage seminar I’d ever been to. And Dave, I think one of the reasons for that is just you are, not only do you bring very good content, very good, raw, honest, you don’t beat around the Bush, let’s put it that way.  Right.  Dave: I don’t, I write no frills. Right. To the point.  Jeff: Right to the point. And that’s in your books which by the way,  DavidEClarkphd.com I think is your website, correct? Dave: David E. Jeff: David E Clark.  Dave: Yes.  Jeff: Yes.  Dave: That does it, yes.  Jeff: And that he’s been on focus on the family, written lots of books, done lots of seminars. Really, really good. Really good content, and go ahead Terry.  Terry: We will put a link to Dr.Clark’s website and all of his books and stuff on our website. Dave: Yeah, that’d be great. Yeah. Jeff: Yeah, yeah. No, and well worth it.  Dave: This could be about me, too. I mean, it’s about Journey, and I love Journey, but it could be about me as well.  Jeff: And it has to be, right?  It’s just cause, I mean come on Dave, you know you, it’s all about Dave.  Dave: That’s right. That’s what Sandy says every day.  Jeff: Oh my gosh. So anyways. You know, very good content and really good at getting to the heart of people’s relationship issues they have.  Journey has  also been in development for  many years. We’ve been, you know, five, six, seven years butting Journey together, have a great coaching process to help people one-on-one, go through individual coaching ,coupled a couple. But here’s the thing, and here’s why. I’m really excited to talk to Dave today because you’ve been doing this interaction with people and you can call it coaching, counseling, seminars, whatever you want to call it. They’re really helping people grow. You’ve been doing that for what, like 30 years? Dave: 33 years. There’ll be 34 this August.  Jeff: Yeah.  Wow. Wow. Wow.  And as Terry mentioned, I’m a business guy, so I dabble in this part time. Terry is also a counselor, she is full time. You know, you guys dive into the deep end of the pool. And you do, each in your own ways, you do a great job. What I have found, you know, with my heart of trying to help people grow and develop, what we have developed through journey is really this one phrase keeps coming back to me. And again, it’s why I’m excited about talking to you today, Dave is, just people’s mindset of why should I even grow? You know. Why even bother? And let’s just really highlight that real quick. Terry and I were at a couple of seminars that Dave did down in Georgia here a few years ago, and one of the best evenings I ever have experienced in terms of the content of the material. In terms of he packages, everything in humor. And I think you have people… there could have been some serious pant wetting going on there. There was some serious laughing. I mean if you remember that night, people were just.  Dave: They liked it!  Jeff: They liked it! It was really good. But now I want to compare that for a second. So the last super bowl, I mean, like we’ve all, we may not have heard of Journey, we may not have heard of Dave Clark, but we’ve certainly heard of the Superbowl, right? We go, wow, it’s the super bowl. And last year, like 700,000 people attended like over a 100 million watched on TV. So, you know, as good as Journey is, as good as Dave’s books, seminars are, I think we’ve got to be honest, Dave, we reached less than a hundred million people this last year, right?  Dave: Slightly less, yes. Jeff: Slightly less, but in terms of helpfulness and in terms of, you know, what are you going to get out of it?  I will guarantee that engagement in growth, and you know, whether it’s, what David Park is doing, what Journey is doing or something someone else finds to do in terms of personal, spiritual, emotional, physical growth is going to be more helpful than watching the superbowl. Why do so many people watch the superbowl?  You know, help unpack this just cause you’ve seen this, right? You have seen the challenges. You know that you can help people if they will just be open and listen. But it comes back to somebody sitting out there today and if they’ve even made it this far to hang onto the, you know, to listen to this part.  Why grow? Why, why should I bother that the person sitting out there that the guy, the gal, the couple, why do I even need to bother to grow? Dave: That’s a great question. Our culture and even the church, we see it filtering into the churches, is really superficial and entertainment driven. We got into this mode, you really can’t offend anyone. I have spent my career offending people. That’s what I do. And as I recall from the Bible, that’s what Jesus did as well, by speaking the truth. And so we have this whole culture. We’re turning out narcissist after narcissist, now. The numbers are off the charts. We want superficial, we want easy. People don’t like change because change is hard. People don’t like, you know, to work on things because it’s going to cost them some pain and they don’t want to endure any pain. So we have all these distractions, why the Superbowl is incredibly successful. The marketers are geniuses, they’ve made this dumb game, which is actually meaningless, into an incredibly meaningful event. And they talk about it for hours and months leading up to, but it really, it means absolutely nothing. It’s fun, but it doesn’t mean anything. That’s the culture we’re living in. The church, I’m afraid in many cases, has adopted that. I’ve talked to pastors all the time, and they’re well meaning, they’re good people, but they don’t have anything like Journey. They have the things that they do, but they’re very sensitive to offending people, big donors. And here’s how we’ve done things. They do want people to come to Jesus, and they do want them to grow. That simply isn’t happening on any mass level in the United States or in the world.  Jeff: Well, I think the focus, and sometimes, you know, there’s so many other peripheral things that we get focused on and even in the church, right? Because Jesus’ call to action is to go make disciples. So. Disciples.  Dave: You don’t hear many sermons on that. That’s a command. That’s not a request. That’s a command. It’s why we’re here. It’s our number one reason for living. But in the Christian world, especially, there’s 10, 12, 40 things ahead of that now, and that’s sad. Jeff: So again, a neat opportunity to talk with you, Dave. And, because again, we can come up with all the great strategies. We can come up with all the good stuff out there, but people have to engage. I mean, they really do. And if they don’t, if they don’t make the decision, right, I mean, you can be, and you see that on your practice probably for the last three decades. If they’re not engaged in it, if they’re not saying, I am going to be a self feeder. And do something better with my life. You can meet with them as many times as you want and they can invest as much time and energy and it’s probably not going to do any good. Correct?  Dave: Right, terrible. Unde
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