Listen Now

Remember Coffee Coffee Coffee? I do not think of Coffee Coffee Coffee without thinking of Jamaal May. And Brooks Haxton. and that latte. The latte was good. If we lived there, we would go there. 

I could only make it through two. He was a lot of love. I love you, always. 

When trying to find a book for you that isn't poetry but talks about poetry, I was not exactly an expert. So much so that I almost bought a Louise Gluck book for you. It was between her and Tony Hoagland. I got lucky and picked Tony. 

Replacing Michael will be impossible, but I hope its someone you like. I hope it's someone really good, like this. And if it's not someone you like, it's someone you learn from. And if it's none of those, then that happens sometimes too. 

B$ is funny. He's been good to us. I'm happy to share this new thing with you, a new home. 

You liked this reading and this night, I know that. I'm sorry I didn't go with you the first time. It seems like I missed a good one. But I'm happy the good one is still yours. 

Here's to hoping you someday are published by the University of Pittsburgh Press. Or teach writing to open minded undergrads. Or find your way out of any ugly time. I'll always be there, but I know I am not the only one. 

I think the first book I bought you was by Mary. I got it when we said we weren't doing Christmas gifts on the first Christmas we were dating. You got me foam and gave me your sweatshirt I always tried to steal. What a monster you created. Now I want all your clothes. But I guess you can keep the shoes. 

I like hearing stories of Denis Johnson told from Michael from you. It feels like some sort of official oral history record. I don't know why, exactly. Maybe because in my head Denis and Michael are part of a greater 'the history of things.' But all stories should be part of that greater history of things. 

I remember trying to slyly take a photo of Dream Songs when it was sitting on your coffee table, noticing you only had it from the library. I was going to buy it for you. But you never return library books and I don't know at what point I forgot. Sometimes I remember I never bought it and feel badly. But I know you will always have the library. Here's to you. 

Dear Jacob,  The first book of poetry you showed me was Ruby for Grief. And if I'm remembering it right, it was the first poem you texted me a photo of. I remember trying to read it on that tiny phone screen. Now there I can read on a normal sized page anytime I like, with plenty of michael on our bookshevles.