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I know, I know, you can't go to the bar. I know you're held down there. Well, shut up now, my friend, and please open up your one and only MacAdam's Beer Mobile Kit, which will allow you to enjoy both the beer and the atmosphere of Jefferson Avenue Waystation from the slovenly comfort of your own domicile. This kit includes: - 20 oz. aluminum tube full of carbon-pack MacAdam's beer - Brass fitting for beer dispensing - Plastic MacAdam's branded cup wrapped in 70's newsprint - Flashdrive containing voice recording and text transcript

Oh, how lovely, a customer. Oh, do come in. Oh my, you should absolutely get yourself a drink. Topics covered: helpful garbage, the rude grocer, the cohesive subject, the disruptions, taxonomy, the traveling linguist, killing unnecessary businesses, unethical business lures

Stride in! Bring your bulk into this pub! Love this beer, since I really love it. Topics covered: MacAdam revisited, the isthmus between beings, unoriginal axioms

Topics covered: always check the name, beer aerosol,

Come in. Drink. Give me your company and friends. I need, I need. Do you need? Topics covered: the very distant doppelgänger, the gruesome jaw, take in the brown atmosphere, dissolved CO2, the head injury, the importance and menace of imagination, the slovenly nature of living creatures, the excess of vocabulary, the irreversible flow of beer, the Rubayyat, vindication of the problem, existing in spite of absence

In! In with ye! Set yerself to ye shanks, dog, and clap ye lips to this brown foeter. Thou hast a deep thirst, aye. Topics covered: in it to win it, the certificate of payment, ancient Laputians, JP Sartre, vicarious enjoyment of disgusting things, sapient arachnids, Mulholland Dr revenant, gorilla suit

Well! I'd like to thank you for... coming by the... uhhh... Jefferson Avenue Waystation. It's a pub we have here and we serve all stouts. Topics covered: with all five senses, the beauty of secular life, the egg of MacAdam's, the creature that knows the truth,

Did you see my sign? I'm glad you saw my sign. Now you may sit before me and sip on MacAdam's beer. Repose, imbibe, and decline the urge to leave. Topics covered: the night shift, the concern for miscreants, the ubiquity of generosity, the myth of brain sound, the coming renaissance of tile caulking, it can only be done once, practice, the virtue of reticence in bad people

Hey you, hey fella. Step in to this little overhang of a pub. Sip on this near-fluid. We shall be as one, not special at all but deserving of love. Topic covered: your treasured community, the trucker's thirst, the glass bottom and the dove, the lovesick harbinger, the bad cure, we suffer for Mrs. Karplinksky, the ambient sounds of the pub

Quit your jittering now and take a seat on this high stool. You've been convicted of drought and dreariness, and your punishment is MacAdam's beer. Topics covered: the brown motif, leaving the party alone, the equalization of beer, the misery of pizza, the curse witch's decline, the bandit brewers, an excess of allusions, please pay for your beer

Sorry I've missed you earlier, I accidentally put a bottle brush down my trachea and now it can be heard in my voice. Come in, drink up! Topics covered: all my friends, the most fantastic way to die, the ages of land, the morality of swearing, the swear-witch people, what is people?

I was wrong, as I often am. Please come in, drink up, and eat up if you've brought some food. Topics covered: automatic window frosting, the cruel process of malting, the taxonomy of meat preference, filthy hospital treats, porcine body types, pale, lanky Swedes, the failed debridement

Welcome back to the folded font, from which the tank which the good world sips. Topics covered: denomination slang, number neighbors, the witch again

Hurry up now and get in here. We have a very nifty sale going on in which we will be selling you MacAdam's beer at one dollar per ounce, rather than ten dollar per ten ounces. Pretty great, huh? Topics covered: sadness and lassitude, heavy metal poisoning, the wood spirits from the wood sprite, the cosmic stew

Is it morning? Is it evening? Don't let it make you anxious, it's time for a tall, ten-ounce glass of MacAdam's beer. Topics covered: glass shards of plastic, French titles, tectonic rafts

How are ya? It is the Jefferson Avenue Waystation, which will be here, even when there is nothing else here. Topics covered: what if you were a garbage man, the unredeemable and self-replicating hatred, the human part of natural history, the importance of unimportant conversations

Shh, come in quickly. Hey, oh my goodness it's you! Have yourself a glass of MacAdam's beer and let's talk it up. Topics covered: the 12-hour effect, the curse of the curse witch, sound-conducting wire, the murderous philosopher's stone

Hiya! Well aren't you a cup of dash. Come on in and have yourself a glass of MacAdam's beer Topics covered: liquid breakfast, simple mind, the wretchedness of girth, the beer refinery commercial complex, the immutability of humanity, I cannot express the essence of human companionship, the Steinbeck controversy, the soapbox claustrophobia, the customer disagrees respectfully, death worship, dubious penitence, the customer is satisfied!

Shush now, but keep me company. Have a glass of MacAdam's Beer. Topics covered: quieten down just a bit, the biggest beverage company in the world, let's go on at length about abjads and abugidas

Oh, don't mind me. I'll pour you a small glass of MacAdam's beer. Maybe soon you'll be happy. Topics covered - the president that named the pub, the light-impermeable layer of the beer, the lumpy beer scandal, the Vsauce plagiarism, the isolated brain-loop, the slapshot tragedy, the antiquity of 20 Questions, how MacAdam's Beer fulfills the entirety of your brain, the right to irresponsibility, the Curse-Witch forgives my swearing about Karl Marx, the inverted future, the shadow war between witches and devils and the implied gender biases, your obligation to replace my lost love, the malevolent agenda of the holy saints, my slow dissolution