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Java with Juli
32 minutes | Aug 2, 2021
#36: What Kind of Love Are You Making?
If there is one place in the Bible that gives women permission to have fun, to explore and to enjoy sexual pleasure, it’s the poetic Song of Solomon. In this episode, Juli Slattery and Linda Dillow have a candid conversation about why many married women dread sex, yet how the Song of Solomon gives women freedom and permission to say no to sex, to initiate sex, to enjoy sex and to feel sexy. Grab your Java and join us! Guests: Linda Dillow and Elena Thomason Show Notes: Join an Online Book Study this Fall Get the "Passion Pursuit" Bible study Get the "En Busca de la Pasión" Bible study Join Juli for God, Sex, and Your Marriage at Winshape Marriage, Oct. 29-31 Follow Authentic Intimacy on: Instagram: @authenticintimacy Facebook: @authenticintimacy Twitter: @DrJuliSlattery
38 minutes | Jul 26, 2021
#372: How To Recognize Domestic Abuse
Wearing sunglasses on rainy days. Using turtlenecks to hide choke marks. Running. Hiding. Ramona Probasco never thought she would do any of these things. "I never thought it would happen to me. I always thought, 'No way. Not him. Not me. Not us.' I never wanted to call it what it was: abuse." In this episode, Juli invites Dr. Ramona to share her story. You'll hear how to distinguish domestic abuse from common conflict in marriage, get a glimpse into the mindset of an abusive spouse, and better understand why finding the right kind of help can be difficult. Grab your Java and join us. Guest: Dr. Ramona Probasco Show notes: www.drramona.com "Healing Well and Living Free From An Abusive Relationship" Dr. Ramona's book* Resource page on Dr. Ramona's website Enough is Enough blog by Gary Thomas Java #367: Why People Are More Important Than Marriage (exclusive content) Join Juli for "God, Sex & Your Marriage" at the WinShape Retreat Center, Oct 29-31 When Your Child Has Been Sexually Abused, on the Authentic Intimacy blog Follow Authentic Intimacy on: Instagram: @authenticintimacy Facebook: @authenticintimacy Twitter: @DrJuliSlattery *This is an affiliate link. AI may earn referral fees from qualifying purchases.
46 minutes | Jul 19, 2021
#371: Schedule Sex and Dry Cleaning In the Same Conversation? It Works
Being intentional about the business of marriage builds intimacy. When couples make decisions together, their emotions and buy-in follow. In this episode, Juli talks with Bill & Pam Farrel about their 40-year habit of a weekly marriage meeting. Every Monday they meet, pray, talk about finances, their kids, their priorities for the week—and yes, they schedule sex. Sound unromantic? Perhaps. But they're still married, still in love, and still getting down to business in the bedroom. Guests: Bill & Pam Farrel Show Notes: Join Juli for "God, Sex & Your Marriage" at the WinShape Retreat Center, Oct 29-31 Love-Wise.com "Marriage Meet Ups" Planners for Couples Predictability and Passion Can Improve a Boring Sex Life (blog by Juli) Don’t Be Spontaneous in Marriage (blog by Hannah Nitz) Join our "Finding the Hero In Your Husband, Revisited" launch team "Red Hot Monogamy" by Bill & Pam Farrel* "Men are Like Waffles, Women are Like Spaghetti" by Bill & Pam Farrel* Follow Authentic Intimacy on: Instagram: @authenticintimacy Facebook: @authenticintimacy Twitter: @DrJuliSlattery *This is an affiliate link. AI may earn referral fees from qualifying purchases.
41 minutes | Jul 12, 2021
#370: Why the Single Life Is Uniquely Meaningful and Totally Ordinary
Do you feel stuck somewhere between "not married" and "not called to singleness"? Truth be told, few single Christians feel called to full-time ministry. Yet this time that we often treat as a "waiting room" is not that at all. In this episode, Juli invites Dr. Dani Treweek to share her thoughts on the significance of the single life, why being a Christian single doesn't mean you're called to singleness, and why celibacy is not extraordinary. Guest: Dr. Dani Treweek Show Notes: www.danielletreweek.com SingleMinded.Community 1 Corinthians 7:29-35 (ESV) "Sex & the Single Girl" by Dr. Juli Slattery "Rethinking Sexuality" by Dr. Juli Slattery Java #95: The Dating Manifesto What Do I Do With My Sexual Desires? (Juli's blog) Covenant Love, Intimacy, & the Single Christian (a video Q&A from Juli) Java Pack: Single & Sexual (A selection of Java with Juli episodes, study guide, and a list of follow-resources.) Follow Authentic Intimacy on: Instagram: @authenticintimacy Facebook: @authenticintimacy Twitter: @DrJuliSlattery Photo by Canva
38 minutes | Jul 5, 2021
#369: Changing the Way We Talk About Porn (Because Women Struggle Too)
“I had one woman say, ‘I struggle with masturbation.’ And she just started crying. And then she said, ‘I’ve never said that word out loud.’” In this Java with Juli, Joy Skarka recalls her experiences walking with women struggling with porn, and shares from her own story of addiction to freedom. Despite rising numbers of women using porn and erotica, we still tend to refer to it as a "guy thing." Juli, Joy, and Jonathan Daugherty sit down for a conversation about creating safe places for women to come forward and ask for help. Grab your Java and join us! Guests: Joy Skarka and Jonathan Daugherty (https://2.bebroken.com) Show notes: Learn more about the Wisephone at https://techless.com/ "3 Things I (Wish I Hadn't) Learned From Pornography" Joy's blog "3 Things to Remember About Sexual Sin & Grace" Joy's blog "3 Things Women Want You To Know About Their Addiction to Porn" Joy's blog "Grace Based Recovery" by Jonathan Daugherty* Java #323: Bye Awkward Side Hugs! Getting Over Our Fear of Opposite-Sex Friendships "Beyond Awkward Side Hugs" by Bronwyn Lea* "Is Homemade Porn Okay In Marriage?" Q&A Video with Jonathan Daugherty Find a Christian counselor near you. Here's what to look for. "What Do I Do With My Sexual Desires?" (Juli's blog) Follow Authentic Intimacy on: Instagram: @authenticintimacy Facebook: @authenticintimacy Twitter: @DrJuliSlattery *This is an affiliate link. AI may earn referral fees from qualifying purchases.
38 minutes | Jun 28, 2021
#368: Aging Bodies Can Still Enjoy Sexuality. Are You Giving Up Too Soon?
There's ED (erectile dysfunction), PE (premature ejaculation), and PS — premature surrender. According to our guest, many Boomer couples are giving up on sex way too soon. In this episode, Juli welcomes back Dr. Doug Rosenau for a conversation to help you confront challenges to your sex life as you grow older. You'll hear how you and your spouse can encourage one another not to give up on sexual intimacy, gain a new perspective on grieving your losses, and expand your definition of sexuality beyond just intercourse. Is there ever a time to give up on sex? Grab your Java and listen in to find out. Guest: Dr. Doug Rosenau Find all of the resources from this episode at https://www.authenticintimacy.com/resources/32035/368-aging-bodies-can-still-enjoy-sexuality Follow Authentic Intimacy on: Instagram: @authenticintimacy Facebook: @authenticintimacy Twiiter: @DrJuliSlattery
38 minutes | Jun 21, 2021
#367: Exchange Online Distractions for Real-Life Intimacy
“To be completely honest, the first two or three days, I was shocked by classic symptoms of withdrawal. I found myself so desperate for a hit of dopamine – that good feeling you get when you get a notification – that I would check the weather app! That was one of many moments when the Lord would say, 'Why are you searching for something that doesn’t satisfy?'” In this Java with Juli, Asheritah Ciuciu shares how fasting from social media helped her turn down the volume of the world and hear the voice of the Lord just a little bit better. Guest: Asheritah Ciuciu Find Asheritah at https://onethingalone.com For links to all the resources mentioned in this episode at https://www.authenticintimacy.com/resources/31894/367-exchange-online-distractions-for-real-life-intimacy Follow Authentic Intimacy on: Instagram: @authenticintimacy Facebook: @authenticintimacy Twitter: @DrJuliSlattery
51 minutes | Jun 14, 2021
#95: The Dating Manifesto
Are you tired of being single? Maybe you've been rethinking that 21-point list of "non-negotiable" qualities you need in a spouse? Pull up a chair, grab your Java, and share some laughs with a friend who is walking right alongside you. In this episode, Lisa Anderson brings the stories and lessons learned from her own journey as a single Christian woman. She'll talk about the impact culture had on her approach to dating, offer her thoughts on realistic expectations when looking for a spouse, and remind us that both grief and celebration are a part of the deal. Guest: Lisa Anderson from The Boundless Podcast at www.boundless.org Check out Lisa's book, "The Dating Manifesto" Join our webinar series, "Sexual Pleasure: How To Get Your Mind and Body to Work Together" at www.authenticintimacy.com/event Find links to all the resources mentioned in this episode at https://www.authenticintimacy.com/resources/31715/95-the-dating-manifesto Follow Authentic Intimacy on: Instagram: @authenticintimacy Facebook: @authenticintimacy Twitter: @DrJuliSlattery
46 minutes | Jun 7, 2021
#366: No More Pushing Past the Pain! God Cares About Your Sexual Pleasure
What do you do when sex hurts? Do you white-knuckle your way through it, because it’s your “duty”? In this episode, you’ll hear why trying to push through the pain doesn’t work — nor is it what God desires for you. We’ll offer advice to help you find the right provider or therapist to help you understand and treat the reason for the pain you're experiencing. You’re not alone. Grab your Java and join us. Guests: Dr. Carol Tanksley, OB-GYN and Joy Skarka Show notes: Sexual Pleasure: How to Get Your Mind and Body to Work Together at authenticintimacy.com/event (webinar series) www.drcarolministries.com Check out Dr. Carol's video course, yoursexpectations.com "Passion Pursuit," a 10-week study through the Song of Solomon from Linda Dillow & Dr. Juli Slattery "Rethinking Sexuality" by Dr. Juli Slattery Find links for all these resources in our show notes at https://www.authenticintimacy.com/resources/31517/366-no-more-pushing-past-the-pain-god-cares-about-your-sexual-pleasure Follow Authentic Intimacy on Follow Authentic Intimacy on: Instagram: @authenticintimacy Facebook: @authenticintimacy Twitter: @DrJuliSlattery
38 minutes | May 31, 2021
#365: How To Create a Language That Brings Meaning to Your Lovemaking
How long would you like foreplay to last? How important is it to have an orgasm every time we have sex? Complete this sentence: “During lovemaking, I wish that you would…” When was the last time you had a conversation with your spouse that included questions like these? In this episode, sex therapist Dr. Doug Rosenau joins Juli to help couples learn to talk about sex. Grab your Java and your spouse (this is a good one to listen to together) and join us! Guest: Dr. Doug Rosenau Register for our webinar series, Sexual Pleasure: How to Get Your Mind & Body to Work Together at authenticintimacy.com/event Find all of the resources mentioned in this episode in our show notes at authenticintimacy.com/resources/31197/365-how-to-create-a-love-language Follow Authentic Intimacy on: Instagram: @authenticintimacy Facebook: @authenticintimacy Twitter: @DrJuliSlattery
52 minutes | May 24, 2021
#364: How To Work Your Way Back to Sexual Intimacy After Infidelity
After infidelity, how do you know when to start having sex again? Recovery is layered, complex, and different for every couple. In this Java with Juli, learn what a healthy recovery process looks like for a grieving wife and how to rebuild sex and intimacy from the ground up. Couples will try to go back to having sex the way they always have had sex [prior to betrayal]. And I think they have to understand that they’re creating something completely new – just like their marriage. -Lyschel Burket Guest: Lyschel Burket, APSATS-c Learn more about Hope Redefined, and their healing retreats, at HopeRedefined.org Find community this summer in an online book study! authenticintimacy.com/online-book-study Find all the links for this episode at https://www.authenticintimacy.com/resources/30944/364-work-your-way-back-to-intimacy Follow Authentic Intimacy on: Instagram: @authenticintimacy Facebook: @authenticintimacy Twitter: @DrJuliSlattery
63 minutes | May 17, 2021
#363: Why Are Christians Afraid Of the LGBT+ Conversation?
In your conversations about sexuality, can you explain WHY you believe what you believe? Does God’s "one man and one woman" design for marriage feel like a barrier to sharing your faith with others? God talks about sex throughout the Bible, how come it is (and has been) so hard for us to talk about it? In this conversation, author and theologian Rachel Gilson shares her thoughts on why we struggle to answer today’s questions about sexuality, yet how sexuality, in this moment in history, can actually be a bridge to sharing the gospel. Connect with Rachel at www.rachelgilson.com Connect with an online book study at authenticintimacy.com/online-book-studies Get all the links for this episode at https://www.authenticintimacy.com/resources/30723/363-why-are-christians-afraid Follow Authentic Intimacy on: Instagram: @authenticintimacy Facebook: @authenticintimacy Twitter: @DrJuliSlattery
52 minutes | May 10, 2021
#362: How To Be a Better "Better Half" with Jamie Ivey
A complement, according to Webster, is “something that fills up, completes, or makes better or perfect.” Romantic as that is, it’s a tall order in a relationship between two imperfect people! So then, what does it look like to be your spouse’s complement? In this episode, Jamie Ivey shares what God has taught her as she looks back on her own marriage of 20 years. No simplistic formulas, no easy answers, and no perfect people; just rich conversation and bold truth – so grab your Java and join us! Guest: Jamie Ivey I grew up thinking that a marriage is where the man works, makes money, then comes home and sits in his Lazy Boy, and the wife has dinner ready by the time he gets there... that's not what God says marriage is. He doesn't say the man goes and works and the woman makes dinner -- and there's no Lazy Boy in the Bible. -Jamie Ivey Show notes: Complement* by Aaron & Jamie Ivey Complement Bible Study Book* The Happy Hour with Jamie Ivey (podcast) Your Sexual Differences Can Make You Better Lovers (Juli's blog) A Secret for the Guys (Juli's blog) Join an online book study! *This is an affiliate link. AI may earn referral fees from qualifying purchases.
39 minutes | May 3, 2021
#361: Hey Momma! Learn How To Share the "Birds & Bees" with Your "Littles"
We know. It’s hard to imagine talking to your sweet three or four-year-old about sex. And here’s the thing: you don’t have to. What you can, nay, should do is have age-appropriate conversations about body parts, boys and girls, and how you see God’s design in nature in things like seeds and eggs. These small, everyday conversations lay an important foundation for bigger conversations later on. You've got this, Momma! You don’t need to be afraid to share God’s design for sexuality with your young children. We’re here to help – grab your Java and join us! Guest: Megan Michelson, Birds & Bees Show notes: Learn more about www.birds-bees.com Use JAVA20 and get 20% off the curriculum! God Made All of Me* Parenting Through Weakness (Juli's blog) When Your Kid Looks At Porn (Juli's blog) *This is an affiliate link. AI may earn referral fees from qualifying purchases.
32 minutes | Apr 26, 2021
#360: Feeling Fearful? The Right Kind of Fear Leads to Bravery
When you’re feeling fearful, the last thing you need is a social media meme telling you to “tighten your ponytail and carry on.” A rocky marriage, a wayward child, deeply dividing issues in our country, churches, and families — there’s no shortage of issues to keep us living in fear. In this episode, you'll hear how knowing who God is, and His power to work in your life, is where real courage comes from. Grab your Java and join us! Guest: Katie Westenberg Show notes: I Choose Brave* (Katie's book) https://katiewestenberg.com/ Have You Forgotten Who God Is? (blog) Learn to have gospel-centered conversations at Equip! The Bible Project
4 minutes | Apr 24, 2021
Should You Attend Equip?
Join Juli & Hannah to learn about our digital summit EQUIP, and how you will learn to have gospel-centered conversations and respond to difficult questions about sexuality. Did we mention you'll be learning from over 25 of the most trusted, Christian voices on these issues? Learn more and register at sexualdiscipleship.com
35 minutes | Apr 22, 2021
Bonus! #166: We Are All Sexually Broken
Do you believe that only people who watch pornography, use sex to feel loved, or cheat on their spouses are sexually broken? Church culture has long approached sexuality by dividing us into two categories: sexually broken or sexually pure. In this conversation, Juli & Hannah present a different approach. "We're all sinners. None of us are righteous, not one. And apart from the redemption of Christ and the daily ministry of the Holy Spirit in our lives, we can never achieve righteousness. Why can't we apply that to sexuality?" Juli Slattery Guest: Hannah Nitz Show notes: Learn to have gospel-centered conversations around sexuality at Equip! Dig deeper into this conversation with Juli's book Rethinking Sexuality Invite Juli to your church There's More (Hannah's podcast)
43 minutes | Apr 19, 2021
#359: How To Help Women Speak Out Against Sexual Harassment
Tiffany Bluhm wishes this wasn’t her story to tell. Like most victims or bystanders of sexual harassment, she had everything to lose by telling the truth. (Spoiler alert: She did it anyway!) Join Juli and Tiffany for a conversation about the role you can play in exposing sexual harassment. You’ll hear why harassment is something that women don’t have to tolerate and why, of all the voices raised against it, Christian voices should be the loudest. Guest: Tiffany Bluhm (tiffanybluhm.com) Show notes: Prey Tell* Why Tho? (podcast) #351: Why Our Churches Need To Do Better at Valuing the Voices of Women (exclusive content) Equip *This is an affiliate link. AI may earn referral fees from qualifying purchases.
50 minutes | Apr 12, 2021
#358: Sexuality, Spirituality, and Why We Settle For Counterfeit Intimacy
Have you ever turned to Netflix instead of pursuing sex with your spouse? Have you turned to Instagram instead ending your day by talking with God and learning His voice? Your sex life and your spiritual life have more in common than you think! In this episode, Juli talks with Mo (Isom) Aiken about the parallels between our spirituality and our sexuality, and our human inclination to settle for counterfeit versus authentic intimacy. Guest: Mo Aiken Show notes: Fully Known; An Invitation to True Intimacy with God* (Mo's new book) Episode #213: Sexuality & the Conversations the Church Forgot (exclusive AI content) Episode #160: Why God Created You To Be Sexual God's Healing Stinks (from Juli's blog) People, I'm Not Your Moses (sermon by Francis Chan) Register for Equip! *This is an affiliate link. AI may earn referral fees from qualifying purchases.
47 minutes | Apr 5, 2021
#357: Emotional Safety: What It Is and Why You Need It
What is emotional safety? Look at it this way: an emotionally unsafe relationship is a place where you can’t be yourself. You’re walking on eggshells. You can’t share your emotions because when you do, they’re going to set off an explosive or guilt-inducing response from the friend, parent, spouse, or boss you’re talking to. In this episode, Dr. Joshua Straub shares what makes you an emotionally safe person. Are you willing to press into and sit with the emotions of another person, even when it’s uncomfortable? It takes work, but the payoff is authentic intimacy. Grab your Java and join us! Guest: Josh Straub with Josh & Christi Straub (Check out the podcast!) What Do I Do With Worry?* and What Am I Feeling?* (children’s books by Josh & Christi Straub) Date Nights In (a four-week video series to help you talk, fight, and pray with your spouse about sex) Stop Hooking Up in Your Marriage (blog) EQUIP digital summit for Christian leaders *This is an affiliate link. AI may earn referral fees from qualifying purchases.
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