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- Website: ⁠⁠https://joeryan.com⁠⁠ - Instagram: ⁠⁠https://instagram.com/joeryan⁠⁠ - Coaching: ⁠⁠https://joeryan.com/coaching/⁠⁠ - Submit A Question ⁠⁠https://joeryan.com/ask/⁠ - Subscribe To All Episodes ⁠⁠https://joeryan.com/subscribe/⁠⁠ “Relationship Triggers” delves into how we react to certain situations and conversations in our relationships, based heavily upon our history of reactions and events that have impacted us, going back as far as childhood. Even though these events involved different people, we still have this knee jerk reaction to the new and innocent person we are attempting to form a new relationship with. How do we handle these broken and damaged emotions when trying to build a new relationship with someone who may not understand the trauma we have endured? In this episode, Joe talks about the importance of navigating through the process of allowing yourself to grow relationships instead of cutting them off at the knees once they start to really get rolling. Being in a romantic relationship feels vastly different from being alone, as you are now connected to somebody else. Your reactions are being closely monitored by someone who may not have the same past/path traveled. Everyone has pain points and things that cause us to react differently to what others may think are trivial, but because of our different pasts, these reactions tend to uncover pain points that aren’t the same for each person. How do we navigate these waters to live the life we want? What should we expect from others to help us heal? This episode helps clear up some of these questions and may change your perspective going forward.  In this Episode: Putting in the time and effort to learn that it can be ok to be vulnerable with the right person Being in touch with your past to learn what your triggers are and where they came from in order to work through them Moving past the walls you have created for yourself through the “filters of the lens of your past.” Not turning into the type of person or parent who messed us up initially. Holes in our soul….hoping another person can heal them for us instead of us healing them ourselves Learning the limitations of others as we interact in an intimate relationship and learning when you need to go if that person can’t give you what you deserve after you have done the work to make yourself whole and ready to be loved properly. This episode helps you discover what parts of your childhood and your overall life in general have caused you to react negatively, right or wrong. Find out what you lack in your life and what triggers you, and focus on the root source and how you can repair those feelings on your own. Don’t expect relationships with others to solve any of this for you... It’s all on you.

Can I Recover On My Own? Joe Ryan is a Certified Peer Support Specialist who knows trauma because he’s lived it and learned to live beyond it.  Joe has been on a lifelong journey to overcome trauma, shame, and the demons that plagued him from early in life. Joe is turning his mission outward, helping others conquer their traumatic experiences through his podcast (“It’s Not You, It’s Your Trauma“) and one-on-one coaching. - Website: https://joeryan.com - Instagram: https://instagram.com/joeryan - Subscribe: https://joeryan.com/subscribe/ - Coaching: https://joeryan.com/coaching/ Drew Linsalata, creator and host of The Anxious Truth. I am a full time graduate student in clinical mental health counseling on the way to being a licensed therapist. I’m an author, a speaker, and proud to be both an educator and advocate in the anxiety, anxiety disorder, and anxiety recovery community. I am also a former sufferer, having struggled with anxiety disorders and clinical depression for more than 25 years of my life before finally fully recovering around 2008.  - https://theanxioustruth.com/

- Website: ⁠https://joeryan.com⁠ - Instagram: ⁠https://instagram.com/joeryan⁠ - Coaching: ⁠https://joeryan.com/coaching/⁠ - Submit A Question ⁠https://joeryan.com/ask/ - Subscribe To All Episodes ⁠https://joeryan.com/subscribe/⁠ Are you living a lie? Do you know what type of person you want to be in life vs. the person you are expected to be? You might not know what or who you want to be, but you know you are unhappy with the person you have become because of many things, including Shame. In this episode, Joe goes deep into the topic of shame…and how everyone he counsels lives with it, regardless of nationality, belief system, politics, religion, sexuality, etc. Joe discusses how shame lives in the darkness, creates isolation, and doesn’t want to be seen. Follow the steps outlined in this episode to uncover your shame, bring it into the light, and eventually eliminate it. In this Episode: Learn to live a life outside of the role your family has set for you to live the life you want…one free of shame. Stop conforming and show up for yourself, not others. Take care of yourself, set boundaries, and learn to say no. Break yourself from any feelings or thoughts that make you think you need to confer with others before you do anything significant. Learn to become strong enough to make your own choices and free of always feeling like you must ask for permission. Be prepared to lose people in your life once you make these changes and start to live the life you want for yourself. If people are guilting and shaming you into being something that you're not to please them, they need you more than you need them! Learn to be there for yourself, first and foremost. Remember, nobody will change for you or teach you to love yourself. Shame has, can, and will manipulate actions. Having the strength to identify how not to allow it to take you down the road you no longer want to travel takes time, inner strength, and… lots of work. - Website: https://joeryan.com - Instagram: https://instagram.com/joeryan - Subscribe: https://joeryan.com/subscribe/ - Coaching: https://joeryan.com/coaching/ - Submit A Question https://joeryan.com/ask/

Joe Ryan is a Certified Peer Support Specialist who knows trauma because he’s lived it and learned to live beyond it.  Joe has been on a lifelong journey to overcome trauma, shame, and the demons that plagued him from early in life. Joe is turning his mission outward, helping others conquer their traumatic experiences through his podcast (“It’s Not You, It’s Your Trauma“) and one-on-one coaching. - Website: https://joeryan.com - Instagram: https://instagram.com/joeryan - Subscribe: https://joeryan.com/subscribe/ - Coaching: https://joeryan.com/coaching/ Drew Linsalata, creator and host of The Anxious Truth. I am a full time graduate student in clinical mental health counseling on the way to being a licensed therapist. I’m an author, a speaker, and proud to be both an educator and advocate in the anxiety, anxiety disorder, and anxiety recovery community. I am also a former sufferer, having struggled with anxiety disorders and clinical depression for more than 25 years of my life before finally fully recovering around 2008.  - https://theanxioustruth.com/

Subscribe To All Episodes https://joeryan.com/subscribe/ Submit A Question https://joeryan.com/ask/ How do we sit with our pain? How do we learn to grieve loss, innocence, self-respect, and pride…all while learning to empower ourselves to live our daily lives? In this episode, Joe discusses how we need to treat the pain we feel every day the same way we would grieve something even more devasting, like a death of a friend, partner, or family member. His message is that it is ok to take time for yourself to focus on your pains (mental and physical) and how he handles these overwhelming feelings to feel free and go on with his daily life. in this Episode: Realizing it’s ok to wallow in your pain temporarily, just don’t get stuck in it! Learning balance- don’t wait too long to let these feelings build over time and then try to take on too much at once Make plans to sit with yourself as you plan to be with friends. Learn where your feelings reside and learn not to suppress these feelings but to sit with them to build your strength up over time Learning to identify where these pains reside…if it’s physical, where in your body does it reside and how you can rid yourself of it when it appears Giving yourself some space to deal with your thoughts, feel discomfort, and don’t try to run from it – avoid the distractions and focus on where the discomfort comes from and learn to release it Learn to start the process the same way you would go back to the gym after years of sitting on the couch. Start small (light weights) and build this routine up over time until you can handle your bigger and more challenging issues. Learning not to feel shameful for having to stay home just to deal with these feelings Learning that all of your addictions won’t fix your problems and remove the pains This episode provides solid, practical advice on how to deal with all your pains and to learn how the only thing in life that is limiting you is YOU! - Website: https://joeryan.com - Instagram: https://instagram.com/joeryan - Subscribe: https://joeryan.com/subscribe/ - Coaching: https://joeryan.com/coaching/

A new episode will be out in a few days. Until then, you can listen to my interview on the Adult Child Podcast. In the interview, we discuss navigating dating with CPTSD, attraction vs. attachment, the importance of developing an unshakable sense of self., setting boundaries with family members, and the importance of sitting with our feelings. Listen On Apple Listen On Spotify

Subscribe To All Episodes https://joeryan.com/subscribe/ Submit A Question https://joeryan.com/ask/ Grief…dealing with heartbreak and loss. Most of us have grieved the loss of a loved one… a pet loss, a friend, a parent, or a romantic relationship. The process doesn't have a timeline, and all five stages are not linear, yet they are all intertwined. It’s a big bucket of emotions… grief, sadness, anger, guilt, anxiety, confusion, frustration, fear, resentment, yearning, envy, etc. It's a lot of emotions to sort out, and it all stems from loss. In this episode, Joe covers his own journey that has reached the latter part of this process. Dealing with the recent ending of a year-long romance, Joe painfully shares how the pain process stems from the grief he feels and how he has learned to identify the series of emotions he is experiencing and how you can reconcile those same stages to help you deal with these same emotions. In this Episode: Opening yourself up, allowing yourself to be vulnerable, and giving away some of your power The George Costanza “do the opposite of your initial thoughts” paradox Not letting your desires outweigh logic Surviving being “Open and Vulnerable” and the strength you gain Dealing with the multiple stages of Grief and when you will know you have reached the last stage This episode builds off the last episode, Cut and Burn. The aftermath of staying in a relationship longer in order to grow from the experience is the conundrum. Part of the grieving process is to get to the point where you accept your role, you accept how you showed up, you accept the humiliation, and you accept all of the good and all the bad. But when we're in our grief and a breakup, all we can see is the hurt and the negative. If we don't get into our vulnerability, and we keep repeating the same patterns that we always repeat, and we cut and burn at the same point, we will never grow. We are never going to become stronger. We will never be able to work on dousing those fears and getting comfortable with being who we are. - Website: https://joeryan.com - Instagram: https://instagram.com/joeryan - Subscribe: https://joeryan.com/subscribe/ - Coaching: https://joeryan.com/coaching/

Become A Subscriber https://joeryan.com/subscribe/ Why is happiness so elusive for some? Why do we always feel like we are “on guard”? This episode covers the process Joe has had to practice to make himself feel comfortable and in search of any sense of joy. How do you get to this place when you have had so much trauma and have lived with your “guard up” most of your life? This episode uncovers some important steps you will need to take to move through the process. Learning not to be afraid of feeling joy and how to accomplish this emotion is crucial. Getting over the fears and stop pretending to be someone else, always trying to do only what you are comfortable doing and projecting an image to others that don’t exist is a key component in your quest to find true joy in life! in this Episode: Scanning the room for safety and feeling comfortable Deprogramming & preparing for loss that may never come Being happy in a world where there seems to be no happiness Tapping into the reservoir of Joy Having a relationship with ourselves Being alone isn’t a punishment...its finding out how you really are!  Struggling with the feeling of Joy This episode uncovers the importance of learning how to feed your soul and face your fears to take yourself off the journey of life on auto-pilot. Take time to figure out why you avoid certain situations and how to trust yourself in certain situations when they come up. Don’t paint yourself in a box. Move outside the box and learn to deal with your body's reactions. You have to start somewhere – a place that you may not want to go to first to end up in a place of joy. - Website: https://joeryan.com - Instagram: https://instagram.com/joeryan - Subscribe: https://joeryan.com/subscribe/ - Coaching: https://joeryan.com/coaching/

Become A Subscriber https://joeryan.com/subscribe/ Do you find yourself watching what everybody else is doing or how they were feeling? What their anger level or resentment level may be? Are they overwhelmed or feeling peaceful? Is this a safe time or is it a fearful time?  Is your inner safety based on the people around you? If so, you may have experienced “Emotional Incest” as a child. These feelings are the outcome of something deeper that you couldn't comprehend back then…even though you may have sensed something wasn’t right in how you were treated by a parent(s). The topics in the “Emotional Incest” episode delve into how parents use their children to fill emotional holes in their life that stem from an unfulfilled marriage, and how that ultimately affects their ability to maintain a healthy self-image, and relationships in their adult life. Joe uncovers a number of emotions one feels when experiencing this sort of treatment and the steps necessary to course correct yourself now, and in the future. This episode covers many examples of what may be holding you back from being able to have a loving, caring, mutual “give and take” partnership with that special someone. These issues discussed have impacted many of us on different levels, with the greatest level being the recipient of “Emotional Incest”. Topics in this Episode: When two parents are not getting their needs met by each other, they will triangulate and try to get their needs met by their children. How can you rebound from being the recipient of Emotional Incest? Learn how to find your worth and value to give yourself the things that you have given away Learned how to set boundaries- learn how to say no, to stand up for yourself, and to say this is where my emotional responsibility for you ends. Break the pattern of people pleasing and learn to take care of yourself- start loving yourself! Emotional incest victims don't know who they are or what they feel. They know what everybody else feels. Stop giving away your complete self from a place of deficiency. Work towards establishing a balance of give and take and avoid the feeling of fear that if you are constantly not doing enough for other people or they will be quick to leave! The ability to eliminate these fears and to work on your own needs and self-worth are covered in this episode. - Website: https://joeryan.com - Instagram: https://instagram.com/joeryan - Subscribe: https://joeryan.com/subscribe/ - Coaching: https://joeryan.com/coaching/

Become A Subscriber https://joeryan.com/subscribe/ How do we reach a point of truly being able to love? How do we get past the fears we have built up that wall off the ability to feel safe and be able to share ourselves with people, especially with that “special one” when that time eventually arrives?  In this episode, Joe shares his innermost fears regarding being able to give and receive love freely. The topic of learning to be good on your own before you can be good with others highlights the importance of preparing yourself for when the times come you start to feel vulnerable with all others.  Topics in this Episode: Finding that feeling of love without fear… to feel safe without scanning the room for loss, hurt and betrayal Emotions are Energy…love, fear, anger & joy- learn to release and truly “feel” that energy How to deal with feeling ”unprotected” and “out of balance”  The journey inward…pulling back from the world to establish a baseline to learn how to trust yourself (and others) before going back “in”  Learning to stop filling everyone else’s needs and learn to fill your own first The insight in this episode is powerful yet basic. The concept of establishing a firm footing within yourself (and in life) before being able to open up to others leads to feelings of euphoria and freedom that have been walled up for years behind feelings of fear and insecurity. Learning not to fear the things we can’t control will allow you to release the energy crucial to living…and trusting in the process of loving others properly. There is a reservoir of love that is built up inside us that needs to be released. Learn how you can put yourself in that position to pull that lever and let those feelings flow! - Website: https://joeryan.com - Instagram: https://instagram.com/joeryan - Subscribe: https://joeryan.com/subscribe/ - Coaching: https://joeryan.com/coaching/

Become A Subscriber https://joeryan.com/subscribe/ Release the Pain is a discussion based on a highly controversial Instagram post Joe made that stated ‘the fear you feel in your body is not happening now, it’s fear from your past that has been trapped inside of you”….Go back and re-experience the fear to release it”. The reaction from some readers triggered surprising push back, anger, and even hate! This episode delves into the process and reactions when allowing your thoughts and emotions to duke it out… to let them have a dialogue while you sit there as an innocent bystander and not mediate between the two. Topics in this Episode: We have things that happen where we don’t feel validated, and we don’t feel loved thus causing negative emotions. What happens when you express those feelings? What happens when the brain and the nervous system start to have a dialogue when dealing with suppressed feelings of frustration and anger? Learn to heal and not to avoid the pain and hurt in the process Teach your brain, your body and your soul to handle any discomfort you feel from within Fear, Humiliation, Feelings of Being Inadequate…how do you handle all of these feelings and how can you fix it? Listen and find out how Joe has learned to deal with it and how you can too! This powerful exercise helps you learn a technique Joe has found to handle the conflict he deals with often, and how it has helped him to better cope with these conflicting forces from within. - Website: https://joeryan.com - Instagram: https://instagram.com/joeryan - Subscribe: https://joeryan.com/subscribe/ - Coaching: https://joeryan.com/coaching/

Become A Subscriber  https://joeryan.com/subscribe/ For access to all episodes and bonus content. In this episode, Joe really opens up…dealing with powerful issues surrounding ones’ authenticity and not pretending to be something you are by creating an image of himself that he needed to “survive”. Learn how to accept what comes in and out of your life and deal with things that are beyond your control by working on your self-worth and authenticity. Do the work, but don’t be isolated and avoid intimate relationships with others as you work through these issues. Be “seen” in the process as you work through these critical steps of transformation. In this episode, Joe covers how: You can't have authenticity without vulnerability Vulnerability is the “Truth” To work through the feelings of shame, self-hate, and worthlessness To get rid of your false self and allow others to see you for who you really are (your true being) There are great rewards in allowing yourself to be vulnerable to others. Being Vulnerable is taking a chance.  Learn how to live outside your false self to see who you truly are underneath it all! This episode uncovers critical steps to learning how we all come from different places in our feelings of vulnerability, yet we can all take the same steps to fix our fear of feeling vulnerable! Learn to become real and genuine!  - Website: https://joeryan.com - Instagram: https://instagram.com/joeryan - Subscribe: https://joeryan.com/subscribe/ - Coaching: https://joeryan.com/coaching/

Become A Subscriber https://joeryan.com/subscribe/ For access to all episodes and bonus content. An Unstuck Story is a powerful confession of Joes’ dramatic struggle to come to grips with his inability to do what his soul cries out for, not what is expected of him as a father, friend, son, and ex-husband. This episode deals with how to condition yourself to reach a point of doing “what will make you happy” vs “what everyone expects you to do”. Don’t sacrifice your own happiness…Identify your happy space and build the confidence needed to travel down that path to reach that point. Topics in this Episode Include: We live the life others need us to live..not always the one we want Our soul wants what it wants…our fears keep us “stuck” Creating a life that brings joy, peace, and happiness Starting the process of being “Unstuck.” Struggling with self-worth, guilt, and hesitancy in following a path of happiness that conflicts with what people around you expect from you? The path to becoming “unstuck” is revealed and provides basic insight on how you can do this in your own life to reach your “paradise”. The relief and internal peace you gain from listening to this episode is invaluable to your journey! Travel down that road with Joe and experience the relief and justification for your suppressed feelings and emotions by connecting with Joe’s moving confessions. - Website: https://joeryan.com - Instagram: https://instagram.com/joeryan - Subscribe: https://joeryan.com/subscribe/ - Coaching: https://joeryan.com/coaching/

Become A Subscriber https://joeryan.com/subscribe/For access to all episode and bonus content. Your Job Has Been To Manage Your Emotional Well Being, Keeping Yourself Emotionally Safe. What Happens When You Have Resolved Most Of Your Past Hurt And Betrayal. You Become Emotional Unemployed. Now A Different Kind Of Emotional Work Begins; Soul Building - Website: https://joeryan.com - Instagram: https://instagram.com/joeryan - Subscribe: https://joeryan.com/subscribe/ - Coaching: https://joeryan.com/coaching/

Become A Subscriber https://joeryan.com/subscribe/For access to all episode and bonus content. Love Is Extending Yourself To Somebody Else, Putting The Relationship Ahead Of Individual Fears, And Becoming Emotionally Vulnerable For The Greater Good. You Can't Have Real Love Without Being Vulnerable - Website: https://joeryan.com - Instagram: https://instagram.com/joeryan - Subscribe: https://joeryan.com/subscribe/ - Coaching: https://joeryan.com/coaching/

Become A Subscriber https://joeryan.com/subscribe/ For access to all episode and bonus content. Holidays with family transport us back in emotional time to childhood and bring us back into the role we need to play. Use this time to see what your role is and how you pretend to be loved and accepted, to slowly dismantle the false self to become a more authentic you. Use this time to pay attention to the feelings and emotions that arise within you. Pay attention to the roles you and everyone else are playing, what feelings you have to hide, how you are showing up inauthentic.  You are allowed to make choices based on your own best interest. You do not have to make choices based on what others expect out of you. It's okay not to feel connected to people you're supposed to feel connected to.  When we start to understand who we need to be to fit in, we can learn to belong to ourselves. When we belong to self, the judgment from others starts to matter much less. Be authentic, be you! - Website: https://joeryan.com - Instagram: https://instagram.com/joeryan - Subscribe: https://joeryan.com/subscribe/ - Coaching: https://joeryan.com/coaching/

Become A Subscriber https://joeryan.com/subscribe/For access to all episode and bonus content. Shame keeps us isolated and living in fear of being exposed. To dismantle shame, we must enter our shame and not run and hide from it. We come out of hiding by exposing ourselves to ourselves. Once we start owning our shame, we fear being seen less, feel more alive and free. So much of our lives was us living a lie; we didn't know it. We built layers of protection around us to protect us from feeling our shame, and we created a false self to survive. We became what we thought others needed us to be so that we could feel loved and accepted. We believed this false self was our identity, and we did anything to protect this image. If anyone saw through our false self, we immediately entered into our shame, and the feelings of worthlessness would take us over. We live guarded with multiple layers of defenses, never to allow ourselves to be seen by others or ourselves. Nothing outside of us will heal our shame; we must go inward and expose ourselves to feelings of worthlessness. We become vulnerable to our fears. We teach ourselves that our perception of ourselves is not our reality; it's shame keeping us hostage. - Website: https://joeryan.com - Instagram: https://instagram.com/joeryan - Subscribe: https://joeryan.com/subscribe/ - Coaching: https://joeryan.com/coaching/

Become A Subscriber https://joeryan.com/subscribe/For access to all episode and bonus content. Most of us never left home emotionally; we have stayed loyal to our family system by staying in our false self role, by abandoning our authentic self. We were molded into the role by being conditioned through shaming, anger, and fear. We learned how to adapt, conform and compromise our needs for the needs of the system.  To become our authentic self, we need to dismantle our false self role and leave home emotionally. We move away from feeding the family system and start feeding our soul as we move through the guilt and shame that has kept us emotionally hostage for so long. - Website: https://joeryan.com - Instagram: https://instagram.com/joeryan - Subscribe: https://joeryan.com/subscribe/

Become A Subscriber https://joeryan.com/subscribe/ For access to all episode and bonus content. The inner child gets stuck emotionally at the age that the abuse happened. We internalized the abuse and have carried it as our responsibility, and we have shamed ourselves for it ever since. We have mirrored our experience as not being valued, loved, or worthy of being cared for and carried it as our self perception. Joe discusses how Healing the inner child is first understanding that an emotional child lives within us. We then reparent this child to give them what they need to grow, develop and evolve into an empowered adult. What this child needed was safety through love, care, attention, and nurturing. As your inner child starts to feel safer within you and the two of you learn to trust each other, we then begin to discipline the inner child. We set limits and healthy boundaries as we guide this child through its fears towards internal freedom. - Website: https://joeryan.com - Instagram: https://instagram.com/joeryan - Subscribe: https://joeryan.com/subscribe/

Become A Subscriber https://joeryan.com/subscribe/ For access to this episode and bonus content. In this episode, Joe talks about the self-conscious, shame-based feelings that he constantly faces and how he has learned to deal with them without mood altering. This episode delves deep into the protective actions one takes to hide feelings of shame and paralyzing yourself from life’s most simple activities! Topics in this Episode: -Starting with his first drink at 10, followed closely with prescription drugs and eventual heavy drug use later in life, Joe discussed the mind-altering use to mask the feelings of shame and the ultimate exhilarating “freedom” that followed -Building the Wall of Hiding from Yourself and Everyone Else -Looking into the Mirror and Seeing an Emotional Child, Not an Adult Ready to Live in This World -Dealing with “Going Outside Your Comfort Zone” -Learning to Adjust to New Surroundings and Protecting Yourself by Withdrawing from Daily Life Activities -Self-Sabotage -Seeing below the False Self… -Cutting Off from Your True Self and Realizing “Shame Rolls Down Hill” -Leaving Situations or Family Gatherings where Shaming is Continual -Heal the Shame by Coming Out of Hiding Shame is Exhausting, Depressing and a Dull Ache You Can’t Pinpoint - Website: https://joeryan.com - Instagram: https://instagram.com/joeryan - Subscribe: https://joeryan.com/subscribe/