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Brigid and Kellie revisit the stupidest parts of a supremely stupid year by discussing the greatest scams of 2017. We reveal that the thing about Mad Online culture is we don’t understand it (12:20 - 15:15), take you on a wild journey through online resale apps (43:55 - 49:00), and share some excellent stories about children repeating profanity (51:45 - 54:40). Vent to us about your favorite scams on Twitter at @ItsHandledPod or by rating/reviewing us on iTunes.

Brigid and Kellie draft starting fives for their Libra All-Star teams, and the results are… something. We discuss reality television, as always (9:45 -13:30), our very particular celebrity dislikes (23:20 - 24:50 and 31:20 - 34:55), and Bruce Springsteen, of course (36:05 - 38:10). Tell us which celebrities you irrationally hate on Twitter at @ItsHandledPod or by rating/reviewing us on iTunes.

Brigid and Kellie speculate about what a Pop/Kerr 2020 ticket would look like in practice. We divulge our NBA allegiances (1:30 - 3:20), discuss how Popovich presidency and Kerr vice presidency would provide a welcome contrast to our current reality (3:20 - 6:00), and recommend potential Cabinet and staff picks for their administration (6:00 - 38:15). If you have an actual concept of the responsibilities of various cabinet positions, please let us know on Twitter at @ItsHandledPod or by rating/reviewing us on iTunes.

Brigid and Kellie bring you a double-header of belated Leo and Virgo season takes. We have job (2:10 - 17:40), hair (17:40 - 27:40), and dating (29:20 - 31:15) recommendations for Leos, and we expose some often-overlooked Virgo traits (31:25 - 48:20). We also get you up to speed on the latest developments in the Real Housewives universe (48:20 - 54:30) and the Tom Coughlin universe (54:30 - 1:11:15). To address any iconic Leo hair we may have neglected or to share a photo of your own iconic Leo hair, talk to us on Twitter at @ItsHandledPod and rate/review us on iTunes.

Knee deep into Leo season, Brigid and Kellie present a universal taxonomy of Cancer personalities. Highlights include an aesthetic analysis of George W. Bush’s paintings (13:25 - 14:35), even more NFL conspiracy theories (34:15 - 36:00), and our Coughlin Headlines of the Week (01:05:20 - 01:11:20). To yell at us for our lateness, talk to us on Twitter at @ItsHandledPod and rate/review us on iTunes.

Brigid and Kellie break down which sporting events represent the spirit of each of the zodiac signs. We also discuss Jerry Jones’s date with the Pope (1:20 - 4:45), our favorite Mary Carillo Olympics reporting segments (47:00 - 50:00), and our Coughlin Headlines of the Week (53:15 - 58:45). To dispute our signs-as-sporting events takes, talk to us on Twitter at @ItsHandledPod and rate/review us on iTunes.

Brigid and Kellie return to their podcasting roots with emergency coverage of Still Star-Crossed, Shondaland’s newest television property. We give a rundown of the many, many things we disliked about the pilot episode (up to 20:10), reminisce about our weird high school experiences (20:10 - 28:00), and recommend shows to watch instead of this one (30:25 - 37:20). To hear our other Shakespeare adaptation hot takes, jump back to Episode 14. To share your own Shakespeare adaptation hot takes, get at us on Twitter at @ItsHandledPod and rate/review us on iTunes.

Brigid and Kellie get their Taurus season deep dive in just under the wire with a review of Taurus traits (2:55 - 6:45) and strong Taurus moves, including playing the same character all the time (6:45 - 19:00), the Streisand effect (27:05 - 29:00), mass murder (33:15 - 36:50), and committing to a very specific aesthetic (50:55 - 1:00:30). We also discuss Brigid’s middle school jams (29:50 - 31:45) and the gaps in Kellie’s pop culture knowledge (1:00:30 - 1:05:00), and introduce some exciting new segments (1:10:55 - 1:20:30). Want to share your personal theory about why so many of history’s greatest monsters are Tauruses? Tell us on Twitter at @ItsHandledPod or by rating/reviewing us on iTunes.

In part two of our 2017 NFL astrological compatibility mock draft, Brigid and Kellie, two people who almost never watch college football, discuss the last sixteen picks of the first round, which includes many teams we dislike. We also get overwhelmed (again) by the number of Capricorn quarterbacks in the NFL (4:30 - 8:20), Ben McAdoo’s sartorial choices (15:40 - 17:30), liking Tony Romo (28:00 - 30:10 and 43:00 - 43:15), and how weird the state of Wisconsin is (56:30 - 1:02:05). Roast us for how bad our draft takes turn out to be on Twitter at @ItsHandledPod or by rating/reviewing us on iTunes.

Brigid and Kellie, two people who almost never watch college football, bring you a 2017 NFL mock draft based purely on astrological compatibility. This episode covers the first sixteen picks of the first round, one-eighth of which belong to the Cleveland Browns (03:55 - 07:30 and 42:30 - 44:45). We also bid a fond farewell to the Jay Cutler Quarterback Experience (09:50 - 12:55), try to understand the current leadership structure of the Jacksonville Jaguars (16:30 - 19:10), and guess which zodiac signs are best suited to which football positions (56:20 - 57:40). Roast us for how bad our draft takes turn out to be on Twitter at @ItsHandledPod or by rating/reviewing us on iTunes.

Brigid and Kellie continue our seasonal sign deep dives with a look at some of our favorite Aries who are forever doing the most. After a rundown of Aries fundamentals (1:00 - 13:40), we discuss some (not at all) new Aries-related topics, including our French-Canadian mom Celine Dion (17:05 - 22:25), Bob Costas’s diseased eyeball (41:10 - 41:50), and NFL head coaches (51:25 - 56:25 and 01:01:50 - 01:05:50). Do you have the contact information of any of our Noted Aries crushes? Send it to us at @ItsHandledPod or by rating/reviewing us on iTunes.

Brigid and Kellie finally abide by the unwritten law that requires all podcasts to cover true crime with a look at each zodiac sign’s most notorious murderers. Highlights include a review of the academic literature on astrology and murder (03:40 - 09:35), a controversial take about which zodiac sign has committed the most interesting murders (33:50 - 46:00), a primer on Ed Gein jokes (01:00:20 - 01:01:40), and some important breaking news (01:27:15 - 01:29:45). Do you know someone who got away with murder(s)? Please send their date, time, and location of birth to us at @ItsHandledPod or by rating/reviewing us on iTunes so that we can do their birth chart.

In honor of Pisces season, Brigid and Kellie take you on a tour of the notable Pisces we know and love but occasionally dislike. Highlights include speculation on Kelsey Grammer’s innermost thoughts and feelings (12:10-15:00); thoughts on some divisive Pisces sports personalities (30:50-37:30), reality stars (45:05-48:20), and political figures (48:20-52:00); and our discovery of the Ultimate Pisces (1:00:30). Are you a Pisces who wants to give us more insight into the Pisces mind or a non-Pisces with strong Pisces takes of your own? Talk to us at @ItsHandledPod and by rating/reviewing us on iTunes.

Brigid and Kellie present our first-ever installment of It’s Handled After Dark, featuring all the wild late-night tangents from our Oscars conversation. Topics include -- but are not limited to -- Best Pictures that are objectively not the best (0:35-4:00 and 10:10-11:55), Adam Sandler movies (6:45-8:10), dogs (8:10-10:10), a follow-up Arrested Development/Jerryworld take (15:30-17:00), and a certain delusional sheriff (17:00-22:40). Please send help. Preferably at @ItsHandledPod or by rating/reviewing us on iTunes.

In this very special Oscars episode, Brigid -- who has seen five nominated films -- and Kellie -- who has seen half of one nominated film -- discuss the sun signs of 2016’s acting nominees (up to 1:10:00) and our predictions for who will win each major category (starting at 1:10:00). Highlights include a timely airing of grievances about the 2008 Oscars (22:35-25:25), our wildly different perceptions of Ryan Gosling and Viggo Mortensen (41:25-45:50), and some theories about Jennifer Aniston’s daily life and endorsement deals (1:08:00-1:09:40). Want to ask us questions about pop culture astrology or heckle us for how embarrassingly wrong our Oscars predictions turned out to be? Get at us at @ItsHandledPod and by rating/reviewing us on iTunes.

In honor of Lucille Bluth’s induction into the NFL Hall of Fame, Brigid and Kellie borrow some takes from Brigid’s brother and expand our theory that Jerryworld is real-life Arrested Development. We also share some concerns about Joe Buck (14:50-17:50), some grievances about our own football team (32:30-35:00), and some strong feelings about frozen yogurt and frozen custard (46:15-51:20). And we have theme music now, like a real, professional podcast! Want to suggest future astrological deep dives or share your own comparison between a sports organization and a television family? Share them with us at @ItsHandledPod and by rating/reviewing us on iTunes.

In honor of Beyonce’s big news, Brigid and Kellie do a deep dive on the infamous sign of the twins: Noted Geminis. After a review of the people responsible for negative Gemini stereotypes (7:45-16:00), we talk about some hilariously obvious Geminis (16:00-28:30) and our personal least favorite Geminis (28:30-30:50). Then we discuss some beloved pop culture figures who rehabilitate the Noted Gemini image (30:50-49:50) as well as Celine Dion, who is not a Gemini (40:00-43:45). Want to suggest future astrological deep dives or point out some Noted Gemini takes we neglected? Share them with us at @ItsHandledPod and by rating/reviewing us on iTunes.

Brigid and Kellie present a very special and very belated Signmates Supersode, a wine-inspired discussion of celebrities who share our birth chart characteristics (and, as always, several dozen tangential topics). We start with an extensive review of weirdos with Virgo Suns and/or Scorpio Moons (11:25-23:00), an astrological explanation of Kellie’s kinships with Jason Garrett (27:15-29:45) and John McEnroe (29:45-37:20), and some hot takes about NBA coaches (43:00- 50:00). Then we discuss 2016 head coach firings (50:00-53:35) and the Dallas Cowboys (53:35-58:30), present a dramatic reading from Jim Harbaugh’s birth chart (1:11:55-1:17:30), and share our NFL postseason traumas (1:22:40-1:24:20). Have any suggestions for future astrological deep dive? Share them with us at @ItsHandledPod and by rating/reviewing us on iTunes.

Brigid and Kellie present Head Coach Zodiac II: Electric Boogaloo. This sequel includes a reflection on the veracity of astrology and the MBTI (10:15-14:45), dramatic readings of Patriots Wikipedia (15:15-19:45) and a Pete Carroll Q&A (23:00-29:00), and some hot fire baseball takes (38:00-45:30). Have any suggestions for future astrological deep dives or impassioned defenses of Noted Geminis? Share them with us at @ItsHandledPod and by rating/reviewing us on iTunes. NOTABLE HEAD COACH ZODIAC SIGNS:Aries: Bill Belichick, Jack del Rio, Jason Garrett, Adam Gase, Mike McCoy, Andy Reid Taurus: N/AGemini: Mike Holmgren, Mike ZimmerCancer: Gus Bradley, Jimmy Johnson, Ben McAdoo Leo: Gary KubiakVirgo: Tom Coughlin, Marvin Lewis, Dan QuinnLibra: Bruce Arians, Hue Jackson, John Harbaugh, Chuck Pagano, Mike PettineScorpio: Todd Bowles, Mike McCarthy, Mike Mularkey, Bill O’Brien Sagittarius: Chip Kelly, Rex RyanCapricorn: Jim Caldwell, Jim Harbaugh, Sean Payton, Ron RiveraAquarius: John Fox, Dirk Koetter, Doug PetersonPisces: Jeff Fisher, Jay Gruden, Mike Tomlin

This week, Brigid and Kellie continue our journey into the world of sports astrology with a look at NFL head coaches’ zodiac signs and their compatibility with their starting quarterbacks. This week’s tangential highlights include a quick Shondaland update from Brigid (1:30-4:40), some quality Tom Coughlin #content (34:40), and a voice memo breaking news report about the Minnesota Vikings from Kellie (57:40). NOTABLE HEAD COACH ZODIAC SIGNS:Aries: Bill Belichick, Jack del Rio, Jason Garrett, Adam Gase, Mike McCoy, Andy Reid Taurus: N/AGemini: Mike Holmgren, Mike ZimmerCancer: Gus Bradley, Jimmy Johnson, Ben McAdoo Leo: Gary KubiakVirgo: Tom Coughlin, Marvin Lewis, Dan QuinnLibra: Bruce Arians, Hue Jackson, John Harbaugh, Chuck Pagano, Mike PettineScorpio: Todd Bowles, Mike McCarthy, Mike Mularkey, Bill O’Brien Sagittarius: Chip Kelly, Rex RyanCapricorn: Jim Caldwell, Jim Harbaugh, Sean Payton, Ron RiveraAquarius: John Fox, Dirk Koetter, Doug PetersonPisces: Jeff Fisher, Jay Gruden, Mike Tomlin